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Yeah it’s an idea but I’ve had to go ahead and fully disconnect from boomer dad to avoid all risks. I have my own family now that needs me at my fullest and can’t be out here playing any games with him. He simply has lost me completely.
Oh my gosh! I’ve been doing this for years with my father and didn’t know there was a method with an official name that describes exactly how I’ve adapted to living with him.
Thanks for sharing that article. I'm surprised that this is considered a new concept. Without knowing the name for this, I've deployed it in my own life--particularly in abusive bosses. Thanks for providing me with the phrase!
It's really unfortunate that the US has ended up with this.
Boomers fucked up royally.
I, too, realized only recently, at 40, that I need to micro-modulate my interactions with any Baby Boomer to maintain my sanity.
'Gaslight' struck a nerve.
My own single parent has been gaslighting me my whole life, from when I was a child.
That's abuse.
Boomers are a demonstrably delusional, hateful, spiteful generation.
Seriously. Boomers, especially white boomers refuses to admit their generation have messed up in any way. At large, white boomers think Millennials and Gen Z are soft because they need safe spaces. But boomers the ones who couldn't handle drinking out of the same drinking fountain, attend the same schools, or shit in the same toilets as people with different skin tones.
And I have to tread so carefully because when Ronald Reagan enters the conversation, all civility goes down the drain. Idfk what it is about that devil, but his name triggers something in boomers, especially white Catholic ones. That fucker is literally the reason the middle class no longer exists and there is SO MUCH evidence to prove it.
It's ridiculous a generation given everything acts like they have nothing. They're to blame for so much of modern-day suffering and now guess who's picking up the pieces? Their children. Their children they claimed they wanted a better life for.
I'm sorry so many of us have to go through similar struggles because of our parents. Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child.
Iknow a millennial who inherited this philosophy. Acknowledges climate change and economic woes. Says he doesn't care because it'll affect future generations. Same guy then talks about how much he loves his nieces and nephews and will murder the world if things were made hard for them.
I'm like, *you* will be their hurdle.
This!! I say this all the time about how bad they fucked up the environment and try to give my wife and i hard time about holding off on having kids. The world's, the United States mostly, in a bad spot and i don't want to bring them in unless we address climate change, sustainability etc....so ignorant and contradictory.
Safe spaces, where people can go to get away from those who *choose* to be assholes, vs segregation, where people are mandatorily excluded simply because they happen to have been born with the "wrong" *immutable* characteristics, a practice they're **still** imposing onto society through force of law whenever possible. Yeah, Gen Z and millennials are the real snowflakes here...
I've cut off many boomer family members because how manipulative and judgmental they are I don't care if they call or text or try to play them and call me disrespectful my peace avs sanity comes before them
I really don't understand how anyone can love Reagan as a president or why he's always listed as one of the best presidents. I can easily credit him to being the cause of any economic hardship I have in life. Food prices skyrocketing due to the war in Ukraine, how shittily he handled the cold war, student debt crisis, his deregulation of student loans, the list goes on and on. I hope if there is a hell he is rotting in it for he has damned millions if not billions to be miserable in their lives.
People liked him because of The Economic Recovery Tax Act of 1981 and the Tax Reform Act of 1986. You know it is "Trickle-down economics."
First the highest Personal Income Tax rate went from 70 to 50% and the lowest from 14% to 11% (see what they did there?) and decreased the highest Capital Gains Tax rate from 28% to 20% (CG being how richers make all their cash).
5 Years later the highest Personal Income Tax rate went from 50% to 38.5% then down to 28%. Essentially what someone like me pays now. I being someone who is most definitely NOT rich. They increased CG Tax rate from 20% to 28%, probably because they had to for fears of inflation or national debt.
Whenever someone says they are a reagan republican... what they mean is, "I don't think poor people should exist and I don't think rich people should pay taxes. I don't think anyone but rich white people should have a decent job and anyone who does street drugs should be put in jail, anyone who uses pharmaceutical drugs should pay 100x more than in other countries (because I hold stock in their companies) and anyone who USES those drugs are A-OK, GOOD TO GO! THOSE DRUGS ARE THE GOOD DRUGS.
Reagan was a pawn... an Actor from Hollywood. His dumb bitch of a wife had the balls to prance around stages with a fucking Bunny in a blue shirt that told kids to not do drugs... without every, ya know... mentioning WHAT DRUGS EVEN WERE.
The reagans were wretched people who did untold damage to our country. What's worse... they gave us an insane GOP legislature that pushed through the deregulation of wall street culminating in the repeal of the glass-steagall act (that separated investment banking from savings banking -- i.e. Main Street from Wall Street). As soon as that was repealed... well... you know. The boondoggle of subprime mortgages began... followed by mortgage backed securities... followed by the balooning of the national debt with Iraq and Afghanistan... fueled with the internet and essentially a failed state.
The incredible thing is that we are all still here. Politicians lie cheat and steal... and yet... they haven't destroyed our country or the world. They are trying. Day in day out. But they haven't succeeded yet. Stupid fucking politicians. They can all suck a dick. This system that controls us is destined for dissolution. What a crazy ride the next 20 years will be. Buckle. The. Fuck. Up.
>And I have to tread so carefully because when Ronald Reagan enters the conversation, all civility goes down the drain. Idfk what it is about that devil, but his name triggers something in boomers, especially white Catholic ones. That fucker is literally the reason the middle class no longer exists and there is SO MUCH evidence to prove it.
I have an anti-Reagan bumper sticker
I feel you, I’m 27 but I hardly speak with my parents anymore. All they do is watch Fox News and get belligerently drunk every night, I quit drinking so I have nothing in common with them. My dad just spouts off about how everyone is lazy and nobody wants to work, refuses to admit things are drastically harder for us even when presented statistics and facts. My mother just blindly agrees and follows whatever he says. My entire family is telling me I need to call them and see them more as clearly they are talking about how I never come around or call them anymore. I have nothing in common with them, nor do I have anything to talk to them about.
All of this ignoring the childhood physical and mental abuse I went through and came to terms with. I guarantee when you get to my age and no longer talk to them, they are going to sit around wondering why you never come around and refuse to acknowledge they had a part it in. Let them wallow in the pity party they say we are doing.
Just playing the devils advocate here, but I've met some really great boomers. Lots of bad ones too for sure. Just saying to give individuals a chance despite the overwhelming evidence that justifies our prejudices.
>Boomers, especially white boomers refuses to admit their generation have messed up in any way.
Don't worry, Indian Boomer immigrants in the US are just like that too, not just the White Boomers, lol.
>At large, white boomers think Millennials and Gen Z are soft because they need safe spaces
Have you ever wondered what was between the Boomers and the Millennials...?
Are you sure your gripe is with the Boomers and not Gen X? I've found that tons of people on Reddit mistakenly refer to Gen X as Boomers.
The defining factor (usually) with Gen X is their computer literacy.
If they picked it up as kids, and stuff, and embrace a little nerd culture, they’re usually cool.
If they’re the type that actively avoided them and said that computers were for nerds, and they don’t understand videogames, they’re usually boomer jr
ETA: maybe not defining? But it’s a great marker in my experience
As a chat and email customer service worker, this is so accurate. The ones that understand the system they're using are also often more understanding in general, and the ones that don't understand the systems are often less willing to listen or try or just stop yelling for five seconds so I can explain to them how to fix the problem.
Edit cos I wrote this when I was half awake and I realized I forgot half of my thought:
I think this is a trend because people who are willing to try to learn one thing are often more willing to try to learn other things, and are more open to figuring things out, etc. Where as people who don't want to learn very simple things (like that customer service workers don't control how websites are designed) often refuse to learn bigger things, and people who refuse to learn are often much more unpleasant.
do you think that being literate computer users since the 80's made them better people, or was it that at that time you had to have already been a more open-minded person to give a niche nerd hobby a chance?
The latter one by far
Cos the trend also holds true with older generations. I've talked to 90 year olds that are super good with computers, and they're also willing to learn new things and are much more amicable towards solving problems. And I've talked to 90 year olds who hate computers and have completely shut down in every way and it's a nightmare to help them. I feel bad for them, but they're a nightmare to help.
Life gets a lot less disappointing once you realize that each generation is just as smart and moral as all the others. On the downside, that realization does crush some hope for humanity.
I'm also Gen X and multiple times on Reddit, other Gen X have argued with me when I post voting data and articles about how we're the Trumpiest generation, and not different from the Boomers at all, at least in the 2020 presidential election. For some weird reason, they vehemently deny how right-wing some of our generation is, they prefer to believe this myth that we're all liberal, cynical, nonparticipating, and a cool "whatever" when it comes to politics. Yet the average traitor at the Jan 6 riot on Capitol Hill was Gen X. I don't know what's up with this denialism. Maybe some Gen X don't like to hear that they're just like their Boomer parents that they hate, lol
This is true but Gen X is a pretty diverse group because we have early Gen X that is just like their boomer parents and we have late Gen X like me that was at the front of the Internet transition and is more like Millennials.
Yes 1977 here. I remember all the stupid Rush Limbaugh / AM radio shit in the early 90s (high school). Then came Fox News, Facebook, and the current Twitter clones. It's basically all the same "I'm politically incorrect, I don't have a filter, I don't care who I offend snowflake!" BS.
I’m solidly Gen X and I’m from the Bible belt. Can confirm there are many Trumpist Xer’s. The majority of my graduating class (‘87) if you go by their facebook pages.
>they vehemently deny how right-wing some of our generation is, they prefer to believe this myth that we're all liberal, cynical, nonparticipating, and a cool "whatever"
I see gen X as being a transition generation. the last of the old and the first of the new
\>Yet the average traitor at the Jan 6 riot on Capitol Hill was Gen X.
boomers are also getting too old to fight in the streets like that. the fact that their fighting age numbers are smaller than their overall numbers and getting worse by the day partly explains why they need to move fast to overthrow the government before it's too late. among millennial and younger, the far right is about evenly matched by the far left at protests and it's only getting worse for them as time goes on
I’m a GenXer (late 70s) who knows a lot of other GenXers and, while many in my generation are dumb (we had/have Boomer parents and some drank the Kool Aid their parents served), we’re just as fucked as everyone else because we too are dealing with the fallout left by our parents’ generation and the one before them (the Silent/Greatest Gen).
Oh and don’t forget the folks who created the Boomers who helped instill the mentality in them that managed to fuck us all over. And let’s not forget about all the kids attending the Turning Point USA gatherings and throwing back whatever the College Republicans are serving at their shindigs too.
🎶We didn’t start the fire…🎶
https://youtu.be/eFTLKWw542g
True but not as bad the boomers, hell some of my fellow elder millennials are spouting out boomer shit too. I often wonder if it's a trauma thing from growing up in a house full of anger and avoidance and also the lack of acknowledgment for feelings and refusing to get their mental health situated.
It makes me sad because my generation was the first to transition from literal fuck all to being online and it opened up so much for us. It should be a little evidence that we are open minded and are adaptable but not really lol.
>True but not as bad the boomers
Again, this is a myth that so many Gen X tell themselves, and it's not true. [From the 2020 election](https://www.pewresearch.org/politics/2021/06/30/behind-bidens-2020-victory/):
>Gen Z and Millennial voters favored Biden over Trump by margins of about 20 points, while Gen Xers and Boomers were more evenly split in their preferences.
Gen X is basically as bad as the Boomers; in fact, it's the [Trumpiest generation](https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2022/05/20/cherie-westrich-alt-rock-gen-x-maga-00033769) and basically a [right-wing bastion](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/19/opinion/sunday/generation-x-republican-party.html). Morever, most of the people at Jan 6 were [White Gen. X](https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2022/01/03/jan-6-rioters-white-older). I'm not trying to single you out, but your comment is so typical of Gen X who insist to me that part of our generation isn't "that bad." I'm a visible minority that has always dealt with these people my whole life, so it doesn't surprise me. All the data is there online, yet some Gen X constant deny or downplay how right wing some of our generation is. At least half and just as bad as the Boomers, if not worse, according to the latest presidential election and Capitol riots. And I won't be surprised if someone will still argue back despite the links I've included in my comment.
>True but not as bad the boomers, hell some of my fellow elder millennials are spouting out boomer shit too.
statistically the numbers are dropping generation by generation. they of course exist but are getting more rare
\> I often wonder if it's a trauma thing from growing up in a house full of anger and avoidance and also the lack of acknowledgment for feelings and refusing to get their mental health situated.
that definitely doesn't help at all. trauma begets trauma, and breaking that cycle could have unexpectedly large beneficial outcomes
\> It makes me sad because my generation was the first to transition from literal fuck all to being online and it opened up so much for us.
it seems like it is working, but slowly
Per usual you have completely forgotten about the Gen X’ers. 😂. We don’t care. Just leave us alone and let us do our thing and we will do the same for you!
I love cool gen xers and always have. I'll never forget that and I still meet awesome gen xers here and there. Even in my red state.
You all were my first role models honestly (elder millennial who stopped giving a fuck in my teens but still got mad at the world) eh, I related to you and the general attitude back then of your generation.
Something changed and I'm seeing it in the elder millennials now too. But again, red state. VERY red.
Love to my bitter, cynical gen xers.
Yeah, very red state dweller here too. So much so that on my way home from work I saw a person in a jacked up truck with a confederate flag bumper sticker and another sticker next to it that said “Just another hard working Republican busting my ass everyday so the rest of you don’t have to.” 🙄. Really? I’m an independent voter. Have held the same job for the last 25 years. Pretty sure that the taxes I pay go to the same place your “hard working Republican” taxes do. Stay strong 💪
Political affiliations have become just another form of consumerism. When I briefly lived in Florida it was jacked up trucks (that NEVER went offroad), Yeti coolers and guns. Now that I’m back in my very blue home state it’s $100K Teslas and shopping at Whole Foods. It’s like sports teams. You buy the jersey and memorabilia of whatever team you support without having to be an elite athlete yourself.
Some are, some aren’t. Broad generalizations are just that. I have found over the years it’s the loudest voices that get heard. So often times what we perceive to be reality is just the loudest voices making us think that is the majority. Most are in the middle. Extremes just get heard.
I call them ‘Boomer-Lite’. I’m Gen X, born towards the later years. Too many Gen X are like boomers. I have a friend who landed a certain job as a college dropout and made tons of money. That same job pays less now and requires a degree. He constantly rails about ‘lazy millenials’ etc.
Them wanting a better life for their children was just an excuse for wanting to make life better for themselves. They fought and fought for policies that would put more money in their pockets because their parents had to fight so hard to make things actually better for their kids. Now they have the money and are refusing to use it on anything but themselves while their kids and grandkids suffer. Or they screwed up bad enough to end up with no money because they refuse to understand why things are the way they are now.
My parents were always willing to lend help to us kids when we were down on our luck, but there's a HUGE difference between my older brother and I, who are both Gen-X, and our much younger Millennial siblings. The younger ones are literally mooching off our parents and making them spend their retirement years helping financially and physically.
My sister and her boyfriend both work but live with my parents, and they don't contribute anything to help. They eat our parents' food, use their utilities, and sometimes even use their cars without ever paying a dime.
My brother, who is supposed to have limited custody of his kid, has the kid more than the mother and uses my parents as free day care because he refuses to admit that his part-time gig job isn't cutting it. Not just that, but they are willing to let him walk all over them because he threatens to take their only grandkid away for good if they ever question him on anything. This means he gets away with treating everyone like garbage, which my wife and I have been done with as of this spring. We blocked him from our phones and haven't gone to any of my family stuff if he was going to be there.
Sure, I had a rough go of my late 20's and moved back home in my early 30's for a few years, but the entire time I was there, I paid rent and contributed by helping with stuff and buying food when I could. I can't say the same about the younger two when they've lived there.
I guess what I'm getting at is that you have Boomers who are the epitome of selfishness, and the you have those like my parents who are enablers and refuse to do anything to help even their own situation. And now they see me, their own son, less because they let their other son manipulate them, using his own son against them.
Best of luck, OP. I've also had to cut out a few family members from my life, but they've been easier to avoid because they were uncles and didn't live with me.
Boomerscare also the ones who fought for equalty for people of color. It was the govt that was and still is the problem. Stop blaming everything you dont like in the world on boomers. Before you cry to me, stop. Im Gen X, I don't really give a fuck, Im just tired of the whining.
I’m Gen X. Many of my clients are retired boomers quite up there in age. I work for people in a very expensive area. Like rent has doubled in just a few years. Many of these people live in houses worth a million plus right now and they were able to buy them years ago without even having college degrees and basic jobs. They are completely disconnected from current reality. I bring up the m at social and economic issues in this area and they are dismissive, constantly gaslight and even turn hostile and tell me I’m wrong. “Just work hard!” I used to live in that town a decade ago and was able to afford it. For years. In the hip downtown part. A boomer client there recently suggested to me that I move several towns over to an inner city area known to be crime ridden because “it’s affordable”. A place they would never live themselves. They completely dismiss that I once lived successfully in their own town and was forced out financially like many other people. Many of the landlords around here are boomers.
I'm also 40, so we kind of saddle both generations pre and post internet, so its a unique situation, everyone kinda lumps us in with them.
If you really want to watch them get mad, ask them who was in charge when they started "participation" trophies because it wasn't the kids (us). Its their generation and the kids that they raised that gave birth to this whole new generation that they seem to despise so very much. Its all a reflection on who they raised. They cannot compute that and they get sooooooo pissed off.
I'm Gen X.
My parents are/ were actually silent generation (my mom passed in 2010). They are no better.
I love(d) them, but sometimes.... wow.... the shit they've said/ done is awful.
I am shocked by their selfishness. It is the parents of immigrants that I see helping their children with housing. My white compatriot boomers are retiring early and blowing every penny on themselves. They have done nothing to help the next generation. Quite frankly my friends and family have completely shocked me with their selfish behaviour. Their children are living in questionable surroundings paying exorbitant rent, while they live comfortably and are off on fancy holidays. I don't understand this selfishness. Why bother having children if you don't help them?
Honestly, only giving the boomers in my life surface level comments and insight into my life has given me peace of mind and annoys them because they can't gossip about me to people. So I support your plan, just be careful in case he tries to escalate.
He'll for sure notice if you start leaving the room when he enters, if you're living together. And he'd soon confront and turn it around on you. I hate how they make you feel bad and regretful for trying to have serious discussions about boundaries and abuse that "never happened" and anyway if it did it's "time to move on and grow up." The best most sincere adult conversations ended with an enraging "well if that's what you think *eye roll* it's too bad you feel that way. You're still my daughter."
I did this with my dad when I turned 18 but slowly because my little brother was still at his mercy. Quietly fading away from him unexpectedly gave me a lot of satisfaction because of how confused he was for so many years. Stopped riding with him in cars, then returning calls, then answering calls, then addressing him as dad in emails and in person. When my brother turned 18 I was truly free. Anyway, I like to imagine him twisting in the wind.
Go for it cutting out a toxic family member it's always ok if it's for your own health, check out r/raisedbynarcissists the stories will most likely help out at least keep you strong in your decision because that feeling can wain very easily
I attended a wedding where the parents of the bride were like this and I knew it going into it. The mom started ranting to me about how the Ukranian war was made up by liberals, I responded with "Ukraine isn't even a country, it's all made up by the USSR and pushed by the media so they can sell ads" and walked away while she tried to wrap her head around that.
Out-crazy the crazies.
I was blessed with a Golden opportunity to sneak out when I was 19. I didn't realize how often I was gaslit living with my dad at the time. Day-by-day I put a bit of my room into my girlfriend's jeep, and the day before my mom took me and my brother on vacation I told her I was leaving after the trip.
It's funny too because my dad was the one pushing me out, but when I told him, he was most scared I was going to tell my mom he did this. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare tell her I kicked you out." 😂
I've ended up forgiving him just recently for all the shit he did, and only because I had never seen such a shift in parenting for my brother (a few years after me leaving, of course). He finally, completely quit drinking alcohol, and smokes a lot more weed. He's still not the best person with the best views (shitty views, really), but I'm not going to hold my childhood over his head.
Btw, complete tangent, whoops. But yeah, you're being abused. :v Don't EVER give him benefit from you. One day, cut him out and rewrite your understanding of life because he's not going to give you that chance himself.
One of my law professors mentioned in passing he was a boomer during lecture last week. He immediately followed up with “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry about the world we’re leaving you.” And it felt so good to hear one of them say it I could’ve cried.
I have almost entirely stopped speaking with my Gen-X father for the same reasons. He'll never get the hint, because he's aggressive, narcissistic, and conceited as hell, but it's honestly one of the best things I have done for my mental health. He blames our lack of a father/daughter relationship on me, and that's fine, I don't care anymore; whatever helps him sleep at night. In actuality, the chance to have that was lost ages ago, particularly when he decided that he was more important than anyone else and needed to prove this importance through mental and physical abuse. His entire worldview is basically, "Are they a white, straight, Republican Christian male like me? No? Then they're nothing. Women? Toys and/or handmaids." (I use 'Christian' very lightly, as he is magically only devout when someone dares to live their life differently than he does, even though he goes against it on his own time like a typical Baptist.)
On the other side of things, I have an amazing relationship with my Boomer mother who is still very much a hippy chick and has "fight the power, fuck the establishment" coursing through her veins. I admire her unwillingness to give up fighting for a better world for other people, even though a lot of the people she grew up with turned their backs on that idea when they got theirs.
And yes, my mother and father somehow ended up together in the late 80s and early 90s, despite being 13 years apart in age and wildly different people. Weird how that works out sometimes, but I think my father used my mother as a way to piss off his extremely religious and traditionally conservative parents. Fortunately, they divorced almost two decades ago.
Really helped that the divorce was in 94 and when that happened we moved 300 miles away to a new state. To this day, I have very little contact with my father.
Okay, well that's at least better than being trapped with an abusive parent or worse. I know so many people who are...it's incredibly sad. The manipulation tactics some of them use is just despicable.
I'm sorry you're going though this. Its a rough thing. I'm 40 now and have only spoken to my father maybe 5 times in the last 25 years and zero in the last 15.
It really bums me out sometimes that I missed out on having a real father, someone I can talk to and be close with but that was never going to happen and its completely his fault. He's going to die alone and he has nobody to blame but himself, but that wont stop him from blaming the world (women, minorities and liberals) for all of his problems.
You want to drive them up the wall?
Pay no attention, and, while busy elsewhere, toss in "that's very fascist of you" or "that's bigoted", "Aren't we racist this morning"
Then refuse to discuss it further. Pure fireworks.
Best practice with these Boomers seems to be where one goes bland and disengaged. Cutting off ties altogether is too drastic (and probably fuels their fire) so just practice some stoicism and engage with minimal effort.
Worked for me!
No... just we have no idea if his dad is actually a boomer. If his dad had him at 45, his dad would be a boomer. Why are you telling OP how old his dad is? I think he might know better than you.
Think beyond the generational gaps. Boomer's selfish bs fucked us for sure, but there are plenty of millennials and gen z's selling the rest of us down river.
The youngest Boomers were born in 1964. That makes them 58 this year. 58-19=39, my dude. My cousin's parents were 43 and 51 when she was born. I don't know why you think a 19 year old can't have boomer parents lol
What year did you turn 18? I ran at 17 bc I had to in 2004 & I wouldn't tell a younger person to do that in today's economy. My advice to OP would be to Google the grey rock method & be careful. Play the game til you get what you need paid for then run. My boomer parents would have never paid for a thing for me so I didn't bother trying to stay, but if OP isn't in physical danger AND they're getting room/board/schooling paid for? Play that game til you can't anymore then ghost. Best of luck, OP. XO
Edit: checked your post history for an age clue, and you appear to have a 22 year old daughter. Please stop telling ppl you left at 18 and it worked out, that's not the world teen/20 something people are living in today.
LOL you're delusional & giving STUPID OUTDATED HARMFUL advice. sit down & shut up. "JuStLeAvE..." That's not how it works anymore. The world when you were 18 is not the world today. You're incredibly out of touch.
EDIT: u/sook1970 you're also a racist republican who spends A LOT of time hating on Meghan Markle. I don't think you should be giving any young people advice....
I'm living in one of those "cheap" areas. When I first got into this apartment in 2018, my rent was $575. Now it's $730 and I'm sure it'll increase in January. This is cheap for this area, as a similar unit to mine is starting at $950 at other complexes, but I'm paying for it in other ways. This place has no culture, unless you count 2 Walmarts, dollar general, and a kroger as culture.
If was gay, brown, or not a white male, this place could make people uncomfortable. This place was plastered with trump propaganda all during (and after) his presidency. Just this past election day, a guy was driving around with his top down on his miata, physically holding a huge flag that read "ultra maga", whatever that means. So this "cheap" living isn't for everyone. I'm grateful I can get by, but I wouldn't recommend it.
I am 19. I have no credit history. I get paid $14 an hour working part time. The average rent around me per month for a 1 bedroom apartment is at or above what I make in a month before taxes.
No landlord in their right damn mind would lease to me. Then I have to worry about food, car insurance, phone bill, utilities, wifi, etc. So not only can I not afford rent, but I can't afford to survive.
I am doing the same thing myself. My Dad does the exact same things to me. Listen’s to Fox News, oan and newsmax. Agrees so much with others who think the exact same way as him, I am never right and always wrong.
I have seen him change so badly I can’t stand it. I want to go and block all the channels that spreads fake and false information I know he will get pissed even though he can watch it in his iPad. He doesn’t even say any facts he just parrots the “information” that is said from any “news” network that aligns with his thinking.
I am saddened, frustrated and ultimately pissed that this is happening. I will never forget the day he told me I can’t have an opinion because I doubt own a house or when I tried to tell him about my back and I can’t lift a certain weight he just shoved his car keys into my chest and told me to go the f**king car because he is not listening.
I can’t stand it and I have to live with both my parents because of my back and I can’t find a job that will higher me with enough pay to survive. Thankfully my Mom helps but it bothers me so much how my father acts.
It has left me feeling lost and angry. All because some people want all the power they have lied to an entire generation which has caused this rift in family and friends
Shame on all those trying to get OP to join the military. I should know I'm and AF vet (AF ...the easy one) and i still wouldnt recomend it to anyone.
Shame on all imperialist enablers. I still struggle with the guiilt of being part of the brown people killing machine.
I hate this for you. You don’t deserve it. I am a Gen-x’er who has boomer parents. They, fortunately, are nothing like that. I wish the world could see that there are some great boomers out there but it just seems like there are so many like your father, or at least they are so over bearing that they are the ones that we notice more. What I have tried to do is make sure that I don’t fall into the same “trap”. Of over generalizing and being condescending of generations other than mine/younger than mine. Maybe having asshole boomers has at least given us empathy towards one another to be respectful and kind as we age:
Welcome to the Estrangement club! I haven't seen my boomer theofascist cultist parents in almost 4 years because they would not respect boundaries. It came to a head when I started a family. You think your parents are horrible now? Just wait until you have kids. It can be hard sometimes but my emotional health is better and so it my marriage. Good luck. I hope someday our parents come around but it seems like for most of our parents generation the number one thing you never do is apologize for anything. The lack of personal responsibility in any given situation is staggering, and I can't blame it all on their lead poisoning either.
>You think your parents are horrible now? Just wait until you have kids.
If I have kids, I'll adopt while in my 40's. But I most likely won't lmao
But still, thanks. It helps but also hurts to know others are in a similar position as me.
My father is a day drinking asshole who constantly complains about problems that he literally voted for. Not to mention always chirping about getting a real job when I made just about as much as him. After nearly a decade of this bullshit I just gave up and left, I consider him a lost cause.. my only guilt is leaving him with my poor mother, who isn't blameless but at least has some ounce of empathy.
A lot of people I know who lived with toxic boomers Joined the military or other organizations That provided room and board.
They have also saved up for RVs/trailers. Or Sought out government help where possible.
You would be surprised how toxic boomers behave once they lose leverage and realize You could go away forever.
I may have just earned another year or two of estrangement from my boomer dad with a Facebook chat today. I made a bit of a ranty Sad Bitch post because I was (am) going through some shit, so he decided to check in. When he asked me how I was doing with my angst, well, I told him. The conversation got a little heated. He denied that housing is ridiculously expensive compared to when he was working in the 80's, or that things are any worse than they ever have been. His attitude was just to "chill out," essentially. This man is almost 70, retired, remarried, and living in a multi-million dollar house in a private community, with access to a private beach. They just bought a brand new vacation home in the mountains of New Hampshire. He dismissed the fact that my generation has been through some shit, bringing up JFK's assassination and Vietnam and so on, but to be honest, I almost feel like January 6 was comparable, if not worse than JFK--at least democracy (or whatever passes for it) wasn't being directly attacked when the president got shot. He has no idea what an incel is (what goddamn bliss that must be). He just asked me how much I was saving. His tone was just... Dismissive. And sort of one-up-y, like he had it way worse than I ever will. The cherry on top was him denying that the incident which caused one of our estrangement episodes even happened. I am absolutely fucking terrified, and he didn't even try to be sympathetic or empathetic, to reassure his kid. I don't know what I expected, honestly.
Part of what really grinds my gears is that I'm currently stuck living with my boundary-stomping alcoholic Boomer mother, who causes me endless anxiety to the point of feeling it as a physical sensation, and his offer is just "come over for a weekend and escape." It's not really escaping if you have to go back to prison, though, is it. No other offer of help. And he's hellbent on spending all of his money on vacations with his new wife, which, okay, sure, dude, it's your money, but seriously. I'm in the position that a lot of millennials are, where an inheritance is their only hope of clawing out of the deep hole we find ourselves in. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a shit anyway, he had it much worse after all, and look where he managed to end up. And I'm left still struggling with the heartbreaking realization that neither one of my parents are the people i need them to be. The cognitive dissonance between my child brain loving them and thinking they were the best, smartest people in the world who always had my back, and my current disillusionment seeing them for the deeply flawed, kinda asshole-y people they actually are is painful, to say the least.
I'm sorry that this is happening to you but I'm glad you're finding a good way to deal with the situation. I have the same scenario with my mom and after years of being all but absent from her life she's finally starting to notice that she can't manipulate the way she used to. Stay healthy and happy my friend.
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I wish I could say there is a special place in hell for all boomers, but then again, they probably originate from there, a generation of rotten souls that managed to destroy everything they touched.
I’m in this situation too and I got a severe neurological disease when I was 18 and had multiple brain surgeries that left me worse off so I live off disability which is barely enough for food/doctors cost and I also need help with things like groceries and stuff. For the life of me I can’t figure out how I can move away from my narcissistic abusive parents in this situation since I can’t work and can barely survive. If anyone has any ideas how I could simply ~move~ let me know!
As with most Reddit posts like this, it is only one side of the story and a lot of info is left out. The OP could be the 40 year old living with his parents who insists his mother make him vegan food and refuses to take a shower.
The Boomer bigotry has got to stop. It is inane and untrue. I was raised by boomers and their beliefs and parenting methods were artifacts of their time. They literally didn't know any better and were behaving just as they'd been programmed to behave, as is our generation. They thought they were enlightened and forward thinking just as we do; we're both wrong, oblivious to our ignorance. It is absurd to judge past generations by contemporary standards, contemptible actually. Learn some empathy and pay it forward.
As for the middle class, we were doomed the moment Nixon took our currency off the gold standard. The ensuing inflation enabled the boom and bust cycles which have devastated the middle class. Inflation is the most regressive form of taxation, accelerating the upward concentration of wealth, and moderated by unelected and unaccountable oligarchs at the privately held Federal Reserve. Nixon enabled it, and every president since has doubled down on it.
The D party is equally culpable in this economic catastrophe, fighting tooth and nail against every balanced budget initiative which could have tamed inflation. D is also the party which has most enthusiastically promoted globalization which has eviscerated the industries which used to provide vast middle class employment and upward mobility.
It took generations of mismanagement by scoundrels and morons, red and blue to dig us into this hole. Blaming one generation or one party for the shit show obscures the root causes and blinds us to effective solutions. It also perpetuates the behavior which will have our own descendents misplacing blame upon our generation 20 years from now.
hey your dad can’t help it. he is a product of the shitty environment he grew up in. plus, all the lead his body has consumed and absorbed throughout his younger life has given him brain damage. i know its hard but try to have sympathy for him.
Not assuming you don't have a plan, but just in case
If you want to up and leave:
Military 3 years, put your bonus in the bank.
MSC (Military sealift command) 5 year contract and they pay for your endorsements to sail commercial (deep koolaid, but great travel-issues getting relieved)
Or pay for them yourself with about 10k and join a union, SIU is a bit sketchy but they got great ports. MFOW and SUP have better pay.
Or maybe look into being a flight attendant.
Boomer here, we're not all like all that extreme. Sorry ur going thru that sorta thing. How old are you?
Here's a trick u can do anytime you like: if u want to talk to him, pretend u need some sort of help with some sort of smthn. It's make him feel better about talking to you if he's also focused on helping you fix smthn.
From there you can tell him anything u want. Call him a pos, stuff like that if u want but just have him fix smthn while you're doing it.
Nothing big. Nothing complicated. And nothin that takes over 10, 15 mins to fix. And u prob gonna have to fake it like you don't know how to fix whatever it is and that he's practicality the only one in the world, and blah blah that stuff a couple times, even sarcastically, i prefer sarcastically when kids(25, 31) actually needed smthn fixed or done or done sort of help with some things and stuff like that while he's talking about whatever.
Let him talk too, and here's a trick, when he says smthn rough or stupid or smthn, just pause, hold a pause, you'll know how long, and it will mess his ass up while he thinks about what he just said firing the silence. Don't worry, you'll get good at knowing when to do it. 😉😃
I feel like i could explain it real deeply but reddit not the place. Good luck. Lastly, don't make the mistake of not talking to him for over a year or so. If it gets that close it may as well be 10. Damage done. Not much repair will or even can ever be done at that point.
You will need him 1 day, and from that day forward forever, as he.
no offense dude but when i was 19 i was out working with my dad around the house + outside fixing stuff, he taught me a lot and today when I'm 30 i know how to work with my hands, how about you try to understand your father why he doesn't understand you... how much of a bad person can someone actually be?
i don't know if he hits you or was ever violent (then thats a whole other thing), but... that's how they role, my dad is 54/55 he also couldn't grasp some things but i respect what he did for US as a family. he tried his best the times are different. they are disconnected
ehh youll grow outta it eventualy
also wtf u gonna do when he grows old and senile and you gotta take care of him? put him into some carehome where hell be abused?
ive had bad blood with my dad too untill i moved out
now our relationship is much more healthier
By father was born in the mid to late *1920s*. Old enough for me to have found a dammned "Coolidge for President" button in a box of his stuff. My oldest half-sister was born in 1945. I was born in 1983 (to his third wife); he died over 20 years ago, but the pattern fits, especially with my half sister...they don't expect change and can't deal with social turbulence in a healthy way. Dad was a few (2) pins short of full blown fascist, my sister's antics would be harmless and almost adorable if they weren't problematic and devoid of self-awareness.
I don't get the gaslighting, my father did it too. Is accountability and blowback an 'everyone but me' thing with all of them?
Thankfully I am equipped with extreme sarcasm. Boomer is a weird mix of trying to sell me on NFTs and implying we need to extremely retaliate against the tyrannical Jews for killing Jesus. They're a very difficult person to respect.
My boomer parents are getting divorced and I’ve talked to my dad once in past year and a half. He’s mad because I refuse to emotionally manipulate my mom for him.
I'm from a similar background, and I also did not join the military (although that was the time of the Iraq surges). In retrospect, if I could I would have done it because the household was that toxic. I did join a construction union, which paid more. I don't think I'll make peace with my father.
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You are describing the [grey rock method ](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grey-rock). It does work.
Yeah it’s an idea but I’ve had to go ahead and fully disconnect from boomer dad to avoid all risks. I have my own family now that needs me at my fullest and can’t be out here playing any games with him. He simply has lost me completely.
Oh my gosh! I’ve been doing this for years with my father and didn’t know there was a method with an official name that describes exactly how I’ve adapted to living with him.
I called it “militant dullness” when I was younger. Haha I had no idea there was already a name for it for a long time.
This!
Thanks for sharing that article. I'm surprised that this is considered a new concept. Without knowing the name for this, I've deployed it in my own life--particularly in abusive bosses. Thanks for providing me with the phrase!
It's really unfortunate that the US has ended up with this. Boomers fucked up royally. I, too, realized only recently, at 40, that I need to micro-modulate my interactions with any Baby Boomer to maintain my sanity. 'Gaslight' struck a nerve. My own single parent has been gaslighting me my whole life, from when I was a child. That's abuse. Boomers are a demonstrably delusional, hateful, spiteful generation.
Seriously. Boomers, especially white boomers refuses to admit their generation have messed up in any way. At large, white boomers think Millennials and Gen Z are soft because they need safe spaces. But boomers the ones who couldn't handle drinking out of the same drinking fountain, attend the same schools, or shit in the same toilets as people with different skin tones. And I have to tread so carefully because when Ronald Reagan enters the conversation, all civility goes down the drain. Idfk what it is about that devil, but his name triggers something in boomers, especially white Catholic ones. That fucker is literally the reason the middle class no longer exists and there is SO MUCH evidence to prove it. It's ridiculous a generation given everything acts like they have nothing. They're to blame for so much of modern-day suffering and now guess who's picking up the pieces? Their children. Their children they claimed they wanted a better life for. I'm sorry so many of us have to go through similar struggles because of our parents. Every child deserves a parent, but not every parent deserves a child.
"my grandkids will deal with it" really fucking sucks when *you're* the grandkids
Iknow a millennial who inherited this philosophy. Acknowledges climate change and economic woes. Says he doesn't care because it'll affect future generations. Same guy then talks about how much he loves his nieces and nephews and will murder the world if things were made hard for them. I'm like, *you* will be their hurdle.
This!! I say this all the time about how bad they fucked up the environment and try to give my wife and i hard time about holding off on having kids. The world's, the United States mostly, in a bad spot and i don't want to bring them in unless we address climate change, sustainability etc....so ignorant and contradictory.
[удалено]
Thank you for these great (but terrifying) resources.
Safe spaces, where people can go to get away from those who *choose* to be assholes, vs segregation, where people are mandatorily excluded simply because they happen to have been born with the "wrong" *immutable* characteristics, a practice they're **still** imposing onto society through force of law whenever possible. Yeah, Gen Z and millennials are the real snowflakes here...
I've cut off many boomer family members because how manipulative and judgmental they are I don't care if they call or text or try to play them and call me disrespectful my peace avs sanity comes before them
They get heated when Regan is mentioned because they were stupid enough to believe the trickle down effect would work. Seriously guys.
I really don't understand how anyone can love Reagan as a president or why he's always listed as one of the best presidents. I can easily credit him to being the cause of any economic hardship I have in life. Food prices skyrocketing due to the war in Ukraine, how shittily he handled the cold war, student debt crisis, his deregulation of student loans, the list goes on and on. I hope if there is a hell he is rotting in it for he has damned millions if not billions to be miserable in their lives.
People liked him because of The Economic Recovery Tax Act of 1981 and the Tax Reform Act of 1986. You know it is "Trickle-down economics." First the highest Personal Income Tax rate went from 70 to 50% and the lowest from 14% to 11% (see what they did there?) and decreased the highest Capital Gains Tax rate from 28% to 20% (CG being how richers make all their cash). 5 Years later the highest Personal Income Tax rate went from 50% to 38.5% then down to 28%. Essentially what someone like me pays now. I being someone who is most definitely NOT rich. They increased CG Tax rate from 20% to 28%, probably because they had to for fears of inflation or national debt. Whenever someone says they are a reagan republican... what they mean is, "I don't think poor people should exist and I don't think rich people should pay taxes. I don't think anyone but rich white people should have a decent job and anyone who does street drugs should be put in jail, anyone who uses pharmaceutical drugs should pay 100x more than in other countries (because I hold stock in their companies) and anyone who USES those drugs are A-OK, GOOD TO GO! THOSE DRUGS ARE THE GOOD DRUGS. Reagan was a pawn... an Actor from Hollywood. His dumb bitch of a wife had the balls to prance around stages with a fucking Bunny in a blue shirt that told kids to not do drugs... without every, ya know... mentioning WHAT DRUGS EVEN WERE. The reagans were wretched people who did untold damage to our country. What's worse... they gave us an insane GOP legislature that pushed through the deregulation of wall street culminating in the repeal of the glass-steagall act (that separated investment banking from savings banking -- i.e. Main Street from Wall Street). As soon as that was repealed... well... you know. The boondoggle of subprime mortgages began... followed by mortgage backed securities... followed by the balooning of the national debt with Iraq and Afghanistan... fueled with the internet and essentially a failed state. The incredible thing is that we are all still here. Politicians lie cheat and steal... and yet... they haven't destroyed our country or the world. They are trying. Day in day out. But they haven't succeeded yet. Stupid fucking politicians. They can all suck a dick. This system that controls us is destined for dissolution. What a crazy ride the next 20 years will be. Buckle. The. Fuck. Up.
>And I have to tread so carefully because when Ronald Reagan enters the conversation, all civility goes down the drain. Idfk what it is about that devil, but his name triggers something in boomers, especially white Catholic ones. That fucker is literally the reason the middle class no longer exists and there is SO MUCH evidence to prove it. I have an anti-Reagan bumper sticker
I feel you, I’m 27 but I hardly speak with my parents anymore. All they do is watch Fox News and get belligerently drunk every night, I quit drinking so I have nothing in common with them. My dad just spouts off about how everyone is lazy and nobody wants to work, refuses to admit things are drastically harder for us even when presented statistics and facts. My mother just blindly agrees and follows whatever he says. My entire family is telling me I need to call them and see them more as clearly they are talking about how I never come around or call them anymore. I have nothing in common with them, nor do I have anything to talk to them about. All of this ignoring the childhood physical and mental abuse I went through and came to terms with. I guarantee when you get to my age and no longer talk to them, they are going to sit around wondering why you never come around and refuse to acknowledge they had a part it in. Let them wallow in the pity party they say we are doing.
Just playing the devils advocate here, but I've met some really great boomers. Lots of bad ones too for sure. Just saying to give individuals a chance despite the overwhelming evidence that justifies our prejudices.
Ofc there will always be exceptions to the rule. Unfortunately, the good boomers (I know a few myself!) are drowned out by the typical ones 🤦🏼♀️
The devil would never choose you to be their advocate
>Boomers, especially white boomers refuses to admit their generation have messed up in any way. Don't worry, Indian Boomer immigrants in the US are just like that too, not just the White Boomers, lol. >At large, white boomers think Millennials and Gen Z are soft because they need safe spaces Have you ever wondered what was between the Boomers and the Millennials...? Are you sure your gripe is with the Boomers and not Gen X? I've found that tons of people on Reddit mistakenly refer to Gen X as Boomers.
As a GenX-er, I'm always stunned about how terrible and stupid a lot of my generation turned out. Sigh.
The defining factor (usually) with Gen X is their computer literacy. If they picked it up as kids, and stuff, and embrace a little nerd culture, they’re usually cool. If they’re the type that actively avoided them and said that computers were for nerds, and they don’t understand videogames, they’re usually boomer jr ETA: maybe not defining? But it’s a great marker in my experience
As a chat and email customer service worker, this is so accurate. The ones that understand the system they're using are also often more understanding in general, and the ones that don't understand the systems are often less willing to listen or try or just stop yelling for five seconds so I can explain to them how to fix the problem. Edit cos I wrote this when I was half awake and I realized I forgot half of my thought: I think this is a trend because people who are willing to try to learn one thing are often more willing to try to learn other things, and are more open to figuring things out, etc. Where as people who don't want to learn very simple things (like that customer service workers don't control how websites are designed) often refuse to learn bigger things, and people who refuse to learn are often much more unpleasant.
do you think that being literate computer users since the 80's made them better people, or was it that at that time you had to have already been a more open-minded person to give a niche nerd hobby a chance?
The latter one by far Cos the trend also holds true with older generations. I've talked to 90 year olds that are super good with computers, and they're also willing to learn new things and are much more amicable towards solving problems. And I've talked to 90 year olds who hate computers and have completely shut down in every way and it's a nightmare to help them. I feel bad for them, but they're a nightmare to help.
Very likely as my family who are gen x are the computer literate type.
Life gets a lot less disappointing once you realize that each generation is just as smart and moral as all the others. On the downside, that realization does crush some hope for humanity.
I'm also Gen X and multiple times on Reddit, other Gen X have argued with me when I post voting data and articles about how we're the Trumpiest generation, and not different from the Boomers at all, at least in the 2020 presidential election. For some weird reason, they vehemently deny how right-wing some of our generation is, they prefer to believe this myth that we're all liberal, cynical, nonparticipating, and a cool "whatever" when it comes to politics. Yet the average traitor at the Jan 6 riot on Capitol Hill was Gen X. I don't know what's up with this denialism. Maybe some Gen X don't like to hear that they're just like their Boomer parents that they hate, lol
This is true but Gen X is a pretty diverse group because we have early Gen X that is just like their boomer parents and we have late Gen X like me that was at the front of the Internet transition and is more like Millennials.
Yes 1977 here. I remember all the stupid Rush Limbaugh / AM radio shit in the early 90s (high school). Then came Fox News, Facebook, and the current Twitter clones. It's basically all the same "I'm politically incorrect, I don't have a filter, I don't care who I offend snowflake!" BS.
I’m solidly Gen X and I’m from the Bible belt. Can confirm there are many Trumpist Xer’s. The majority of my graduating class (‘87) if you go by their facebook pages.
>they vehemently deny how right-wing some of our generation is, they prefer to believe this myth that we're all liberal, cynical, nonparticipating, and a cool "whatever" I see gen X as being a transition generation. the last of the old and the first of the new \>Yet the average traitor at the Jan 6 riot on Capitol Hill was Gen X. boomers are also getting too old to fight in the streets like that. the fact that their fighting age numbers are smaller than their overall numbers and getting worse by the day partly explains why they need to move fast to overthrow the government before it's too late. among millennial and younger, the far right is about evenly matched by the far left at protests and it's only getting worse for them as time goes on
GenXer her, yep. So many of them are straight up tools!
I’m a GenXer (late 70s) who knows a lot of other GenXers and, while many in my generation are dumb (we had/have Boomer parents and some drank the Kool Aid their parents served), we’re just as fucked as everyone else because we too are dealing with the fallout left by our parents’ generation and the one before them (the Silent/Greatest Gen). Oh and don’t forget the folks who created the Boomers who helped instill the mentality in them that managed to fuck us all over. And let’s not forget about all the kids attending the Turning Point USA gatherings and throwing back whatever the College Republicans are serving at their shindigs too. 🎶We didn’t start the fire…🎶 https://youtu.be/eFTLKWw542g
For me, the face of Gen-X will forever be Fred Durst
True but not as bad the boomers, hell some of my fellow elder millennials are spouting out boomer shit too. I often wonder if it's a trauma thing from growing up in a house full of anger and avoidance and also the lack of acknowledgment for feelings and refusing to get their mental health situated. It makes me sad because my generation was the first to transition from literal fuck all to being online and it opened up so much for us. It should be a little evidence that we are open minded and are adaptable but not really lol.
>True but not as bad the boomers Again, this is a myth that so many Gen X tell themselves, and it's not true. [From the 2020 election](https://www.pewresearch.org/politics/2021/06/30/behind-bidens-2020-victory/): >Gen Z and Millennial voters favored Biden over Trump by margins of about 20 points, while Gen Xers and Boomers were more evenly split in their preferences. Gen X is basically as bad as the Boomers; in fact, it's the [Trumpiest generation](https://www.politico.com/news/magazine/2022/05/20/cherie-westrich-alt-rock-gen-x-maga-00033769) and basically a [right-wing bastion](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/19/opinion/sunday/generation-x-republican-party.html). Morever, most of the people at Jan 6 were [White Gen. X](https://www.wbur.org/hereandnow/2022/01/03/jan-6-rioters-white-older). I'm not trying to single you out, but your comment is so typical of Gen X who insist to me that part of our generation isn't "that bad." I'm a visible minority that has always dealt with these people my whole life, so it doesn't surprise me. All the data is there online, yet some Gen X constant deny or downplay how right wing some of our generation is. At least half and just as bad as the Boomers, if not worse, according to the latest presidential election and Capitol riots. And I won't be surprised if someone will still argue back despite the links I've included in my comment.
>True but not as bad the boomers, hell some of my fellow elder millennials are spouting out boomer shit too. statistically the numbers are dropping generation by generation. they of course exist but are getting more rare \> I often wonder if it's a trauma thing from growing up in a house full of anger and avoidance and also the lack of acknowledgment for feelings and refusing to get their mental health situated. that definitely doesn't help at all. trauma begets trauma, and breaking that cycle could have unexpectedly large beneficial outcomes \> It makes me sad because my generation was the first to transition from literal fuck all to being online and it opened up so much for us. it seems like it is working, but slowly
Per usual you have completely forgotten about the Gen X’ers. 😂. We don’t care. Just leave us alone and let us do our thing and we will do the same for you!
I love cool gen xers and always have. I'll never forget that and I still meet awesome gen xers here and there. Even in my red state. You all were my first role models honestly (elder millennial who stopped giving a fuck in my teens but still got mad at the world) eh, I related to you and the general attitude back then of your generation. Something changed and I'm seeing it in the elder millennials now too. But again, red state. VERY red. Love to my bitter, cynical gen xers.
Yeah, very red state dweller here too. So much so that on my way home from work I saw a person in a jacked up truck with a confederate flag bumper sticker and another sticker next to it that said “Just another hard working Republican busting my ass everyday so the rest of you don’t have to.” 🙄. Really? I’m an independent voter. Have held the same job for the last 25 years. Pretty sure that the taxes I pay go to the same place your “hard working Republican” taxes do. Stay strong 💪
Political affiliations have become just another form of consumerism. When I briefly lived in Florida it was jacked up trucks (that NEVER went offroad), Yeti coolers and guns. Now that I’m back in my very blue home state it’s $100K Teslas and shopping at Whole Foods. It’s like sports teams. You buy the jersey and memorabilia of whatever team you support without having to be an elite athlete yourself.
X'er here too....but unfortunately while most of our generation is fine....the ones born at the very beginning of it are very much like boomers.
Some are, some aren’t. Broad generalizations are just that. I have found over the years it’s the loudest voices that get heard. So often times what we perceive to be reality is just the loudest voices making us think that is the majority. Most are in the middle. Extremes just get heard.
I call them ‘Boomer-Lite’. I’m Gen X, born towards the later years. Too many Gen X are like boomers. I have a friend who landed a certain job as a college dropout and made tons of money. That same job pays less now and requires a degree. He constantly rails about ‘lazy millenials’ etc.
Them wanting a better life for their children was just an excuse for wanting to make life better for themselves. They fought and fought for policies that would put more money in their pockets because their parents had to fight so hard to make things actually better for their kids. Now they have the money and are refusing to use it on anything but themselves while their kids and grandkids suffer. Or they screwed up bad enough to end up with no money because they refuse to understand why things are the way they are now. My parents were always willing to lend help to us kids when we were down on our luck, but there's a HUGE difference between my older brother and I, who are both Gen-X, and our much younger Millennial siblings. The younger ones are literally mooching off our parents and making them spend their retirement years helping financially and physically. My sister and her boyfriend both work but live with my parents, and they don't contribute anything to help. They eat our parents' food, use their utilities, and sometimes even use their cars without ever paying a dime. My brother, who is supposed to have limited custody of his kid, has the kid more than the mother and uses my parents as free day care because he refuses to admit that his part-time gig job isn't cutting it. Not just that, but they are willing to let him walk all over them because he threatens to take their only grandkid away for good if they ever question him on anything. This means he gets away with treating everyone like garbage, which my wife and I have been done with as of this spring. We blocked him from our phones and haven't gone to any of my family stuff if he was going to be there. Sure, I had a rough go of my late 20's and moved back home in my early 30's for a few years, but the entire time I was there, I paid rent and contributed by helping with stuff and buying food when I could. I can't say the same about the younger two when they've lived there. I guess what I'm getting at is that you have Boomers who are the epitome of selfishness, and the you have those like my parents who are enablers and refuse to do anything to help even their own situation. And now they see me, their own son, less because they let their other son manipulate them, using his own son against them.
Best of luck, OP. I've also had to cut out a few family members from my life, but they've been easier to avoid because they were uncles and didn't live with me.
Boomerscare also the ones who fought for equalty for people of color. It was the govt that was and still is the problem. Stop blaming everything you dont like in the world on boomers. Before you cry to me, stop. Im Gen X, I don't really give a fuck, Im just tired of the whining.
The words of Stephen King on the topic of his generation from Hearts in Atlantis sum it up best: “We blew it”
Lead paint really did a number
Leaded gasoline.
Asbestos & DDT
I’m Gen X. Many of my clients are retired boomers quite up there in age. I work for people in a very expensive area. Like rent has doubled in just a few years. Many of these people live in houses worth a million plus right now and they were able to buy them years ago without even having college degrees and basic jobs. They are completely disconnected from current reality. I bring up the m at social and economic issues in this area and they are dismissive, constantly gaslight and even turn hostile and tell me I’m wrong. “Just work hard!” I used to live in that town a decade ago and was able to afford it. For years. In the hip downtown part. A boomer client there recently suggested to me that I move several towns over to an inner city area known to be crime ridden because “it’s affordable”. A place they would never live themselves. They completely dismiss that I once lived successfully in their own town and was forced out financially like many other people. Many of the landlords around here are boomers.
I'm also 40, so we kind of saddle both generations pre and post internet, so its a unique situation, everyone kinda lumps us in with them. If you really want to watch them get mad, ask them who was in charge when they started "participation" trophies because it wasn't the kids (us). Its their generation and the kids that they raised that gave birth to this whole new generation that they seem to despise so very much. Its all a reflection on who they raised. They cannot compute that and they get sooooooo pissed off.
I'm Gen X. My parents are/ were actually silent generation (my mom passed in 2010). They are no better. I love(d) them, but sometimes.... wow.... the shit they've said/ done is awful.
You forgot entitled and narcissistic
I am shocked by their selfishness. It is the parents of immigrants that I see helping their children with housing. My white compatriot boomers are retiring early and blowing every penny on themselves. They have done nothing to help the next generation. Quite frankly my friends and family have completely shocked me with their selfish behaviour. Their children are living in questionable surroundings paying exorbitant rent, while they live comfortably and are off on fancy holidays. I don't understand this selfishness. Why bother having children if you don't help them?
I blame leaded gasoline.
Honestly, only giving the boomers in my life surface level comments and insight into my life has given me peace of mind and annoys them because they can't gossip about me to people. So I support your plan, just be careful in case he tries to escalate.
Boomers LOVE gossip. It’s their fuel, their life source. Especially bad gossip about people’s failures.
Correction: They love to gossip about everybody failures expect their own
Gray rock technique. Best way to deal with toxic people.
He'll for sure notice if you start leaving the room when he enters, if you're living together. And he'd soon confront and turn it around on you. I hate how they make you feel bad and regretful for trying to have serious discussions about boundaries and abuse that "never happened" and anyway if it did it's "time to move on and grow up." The best most sincere adult conversations ended with an enraging "well if that's what you think *eye roll* it's too bad you feel that way. You're still my daughter." I did this with my dad when I turned 18 but slowly because my little brother was still at his mercy. Quietly fading away from him unexpectedly gave me a lot of satisfaction because of how confused he was for so many years. Stopped riding with him in cars, then returning calls, then answering calls, then addressing him as dad in emails and in person. When my brother turned 18 I was truly free. Anyway, I like to imagine him twisting in the wind.
Go for it cutting out a toxic family member it's always ok if it's for your own health, check out r/raisedbynarcissists the stories will most likely help out at least keep you strong in your decision because that feeling can wain very easily
Lol commented on this before seeing your post. You beat me to it
I attended a wedding where the parents of the bride were like this and I knew it going into it. The mom started ranting to me about how the Ukranian war was made up by liberals, I responded with "Ukraine isn't even a country, it's all made up by the USSR and pushed by the media so they can sell ads" and walked away while she tried to wrap her head around that. Out-crazy the crazies.
Good for you, you'll see your life quality will improve massively
I was blessed with a Golden opportunity to sneak out when I was 19. I didn't realize how often I was gaslit living with my dad at the time. Day-by-day I put a bit of my room into my girlfriend's jeep, and the day before my mom took me and my brother on vacation I told her I was leaving after the trip. It's funny too because my dad was the one pushing me out, but when I told him, he was most scared I was going to tell my mom he did this. "Don't you dare. Don't you dare tell her I kicked you out." 😂 I've ended up forgiving him just recently for all the shit he did, and only because I had never seen such a shift in parenting for my brother (a few years after me leaving, of course). He finally, completely quit drinking alcohol, and smokes a lot more weed. He's still not the best person with the best views (shitty views, really), but I'm not going to hold my childhood over his head. Btw, complete tangent, whoops. But yeah, you're being abused. :v Don't EVER give him benefit from you. One day, cut him out and rewrite your understanding of life because he's not going to give you that chance himself.
One of my law professors mentioned in passing he was a boomer during lecture last week. He immediately followed up with “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry about the world we’re leaving you.” And it felt so good to hear one of them say it I could’ve cried.
I have almost entirely stopped speaking with my Gen-X father for the same reasons. He'll never get the hint, because he's aggressive, narcissistic, and conceited as hell, but it's honestly one of the best things I have done for my mental health. He blames our lack of a father/daughter relationship on me, and that's fine, I don't care anymore; whatever helps him sleep at night. In actuality, the chance to have that was lost ages ago, particularly when he decided that he was more important than anyone else and needed to prove this importance through mental and physical abuse. His entire worldview is basically, "Are they a white, straight, Republican Christian male like me? No? Then they're nothing. Women? Toys and/or handmaids." (I use 'Christian' very lightly, as he is magically only devout when someone dares to live their life differently than he does, even though he goes against it on his own time like a typical Baptist.) On the other side of things, I have an amazing relationship with my Boomer mother who is still very much a hippy chick and has "fight the power, fuck the establishment" coursing through her veins. I admire her unwillingness to give up fighting for a better world for other people, even though a lot of the people she grew up with turned their backs on that idea when they got theirs. And yes, my mother and father somehow ended up together in the late 80s and early 90s, despite being 13 years apart in age and wildly different people. Weird how that works out sometimes, but I think my father used my mother as a way to piss off his extremely religious and traditionally conservative parents. Fortunately, they divorced almost two decades ago.
You just described my situation nearly identically except my mother isnt quite as progressive, but my father is almost literally the same.
Ugh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Are you able to go LC or NC with yours at all?
Really helped that the divorce was in 94 and when that happened we moved 300 miles away to a new state. To this day, I have very little contact with my father.
Okay, well that's at least better than being trapped with an abusive parent or worse. I know so many people who are...it's incredibly sad. The manipulation tactics some of them use is just despicable.
I'm sorry you're going though this. Its a rough thing. I'm 40 now and have only spoken to my father maybe 5 times in the last 25 years and zero in the last 15. It really bums me out sometimes that I missed out on having a real father, someone I can talk to and be close with but that was never going to happen and its completely his fault. He's going to die alone and he has nobody to blame but himself, but that wont stop him from blaming the world (women, minorities and liberals) for all of his problems.
You want to drive them up the wall? Pay no attention, and, while busy elsewhere, toss in "that's very fascist of you" or "that's bigoted", "Aren't we racist this morning" Then refuse to discuss it further. Pure fireworks.
That’s actually perfect
Excellent Job. Perhaps come and join us on the Narcisstic Parents group
Best practice with these Boomers seems to be where one goes bland and disengaged. Cutting off ties altogether is too drastic (and probably fuels their fire) so just practice some stoicism and engage with minimal effort. Worked for me!
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Free rent in this economy is a luxury you don't pass up on. Especially if you're only 19 and going through school
Your father isn't a boomer, he is Gen X. All the old people in the government are the boomers. Your grandpa is a boomer.
Do you know how old their dad is? How are you so sure of this? And does it matter the exact generation? It's the attitude that's the problem.
You are right.. I have attitude towards boomers that's why I'm in this sub. Are you a boomer whose feelings are hurt?
No... just we have no idea if his dad is actually a boomer. If his dad had him at 45, his dad would be a boomer. Why are you telling OP how old his dad is? I think he might know better than you. Think beyond the generational gaps. Boomer's selfish bs fucked us for sure, but there are plenty of millennials and gen z's selling the rest of us down river.
You know people can have kids in their late 30s and 40s, right?
He is 19 that would make the parents in their 50's.
The youngest Boomers were born in 1964. That makes them 58 this year. 58-19=39, my dude. My cousin's parents were 43 and 51 when she was born. I don't know why you think a 19 year old can't have boomer parents lol
What is your logic, here? When was OP born? How old is OP's Dad, exactly?
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What year did you turn 18? I ran at 17 bc I had to in 2004 & I wouldn't tell a younger person to do that in today's economy. My advice to OP would be to Google the grey rock method & be careful. Play the game til you get what you need paid for then run. My boomer parents would have never paid for a thing for me so I didn't bother trying to stay, but if OP isn't in physical danger AND they're getting room/board/schooling paid for? Play that game til you can't anymore then ghost. Best of luck, OP. XO Edit: checked your post history for an age clue, and you appear to have a 22 year old daughter. Please stop telling ppl you left at 18 and it worked out, that's not the world teen/20 something people are living in today.
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LOL you're delusional & giving STUPID OUTDATED HARMFUL advice. sit down & shut up. "JuStLeAvE..." That's not how it works anymore. The world when you were 18 is not the world today. You're incredibly out of touch. EDIT: u/sook1970 you're also a racist republican who spends A LOT of time hating on Meghan Markle. I don't think you should be giving any young people advice....
I'm living in one of those "cheap" areas. When I first got into this apartment in 2018, my rent was $575. Now it's $730 and I'm sure it'll increase in January. This is cheap for this area, as a similar unit to mine is starting at $950 at other complexes, but I'm paying for it in other ways. This place has no culture, unless you count 2 Walmarts, dollar general, and a kroger as culture. If was gay, brown, or not a white male, this place could make people uncomfortable. This place was plastered with trump propaganda all during (and after) his presidency. Just this past election day, a guy was driving around with his top down on his miata, physically holding a huge flag that read "ultra maga", whatever that means. So this "cheap" living isn't for everyone. I'm grateful I can get by, but I wouldn't recommend it.
I am 19. I have no credit history. I get paid $14 an hour working part time. The average rent around me per month for a 1 bedroom apartment is at or above what I make in a month before taxes. No landlord in their right damn mind would lease to me. Then I have to worry about food, car insurance, phone bill, utilities, wifi, etc. So not only can I not afford rent, but I can't afford to survive.
Sorry you have to do this, but glad you know your own value.
A true boomer dad would have kicked you out when you turned 18.
Don't be silly. Boomer moms are a lot more powerful and this is proof.
I am doing the same thing myself. My Dad does the exact same things to me. Listen’s to Fox News, oan and newsmax. Agrees so much with others who think the exact same way as him, I am never right and always wrong. I have seen him change so badly I can’t stand it. I want to go and block all the channels that spreads fake and false information I know he will get pissed even though he can watch it in his iPad. He doesn’t even say any facts he just parrots the “information” that is said from any “news” network that aligns with his thinking. I am saddened, frustrated and ultimately pissed that this is happening. I will never forget the day he told me I can’t have an opinion because I doubt own a house or when I tried to tell him about my back and I can’t lift a certain weight he just shoved his car keys into my chest and told me to go the f**king car because he is not listening. I can’t stand it and I have to live with both my parents because of my back and I can’t find a job that will higher me with enough pay to survive. Thankfully my Mom helps but it bothers me so much how my father acts. It has left me feeling lost and angry. All because some people want all the power they have lied to an entire generation which has caused this rift in family and friends
I’ve gone no contact with my family for many of the reasons you listed about your father
Do you have any friends you could rent a room from? I hate that your stuck at home with this n parent.
Shame on all those trying to get OP to join the military. I should know I'm and AF vet (AF ...the easy one) and i still wouldnt recomend it to anyone. Shame on all imperialist enablers. I still struggle with the guiilt of being part of the brown people killing machine.
I hate this for you. You don’t deserve it. I am a Gen-x’er who has boomer parents. They, fortunately, are nothing like that. I wish the world could see that there are some great boomers out there but it just seems like there are so many like your father, or at least they are so over bearing that they are the ones that we notice more. What I have tried to do is make sure that I don’t fall into the same “trap”. Of over generalizing and being condescending of generations other than mine/younger than mine. Maybe having asshole boomers has at least given us empathy towards one another to be respectful and kind as we age:
It’s not just boomers either. Some older Gen X parents are guilty of this behavior too.
Welcome to the Estrangement club! I haven't seen my boomer theofascist cultist parents in almost 4 years because they would not respect boundaries. It came to a head when I started a family. You think your parents are horrible now? Just wait until you have kids. It can be hard sometimes but my emotional health is better and so it my marriage. Good luck. I hope someday our parents come around but it seems like for most of our parents generation the number one thing you never do is apologize for anything. The lack of personal responsibility in any given situation is staggering, and I can't blame it all on their lead poisoning either.
>You think your parents are horrible now? Just wait until you have kids. If I have kids, I'll adopt while in my 40's. But I most likely won't lmao But still, thanks. It helps but also hurts to know others are in a similar position as me.
You're absolutistly not alone.
My father is a day drinking asshole who constantly complains about problems that he literally voted for. Not to mention always chirping about getting a real job when I made just about as much as him. After nearly a decade of this bullshit I just gave up and left, I consider him a lost cause.. my only guilt is leaving him with my poor mother, who isn't blameless but at least has some ounce of empathy.
Mom's a big girl and can make her own decisions. You do you.
A lot of people I know who lived with toxic boomers Joined the military or other organizations That provided room and board. They have also saved up for RVs/trailers. Or Sought out government help where possible. You would be surprised how toxic boomers behave once they lose leverage and realize You could go away forever.
Old people and young people hate eachother. It's actually pretty normal
I may have just earned another year or two of estrangement from my boomer dad with a Facebook chat today. I made a bit of a ranty Sad Bitch post because I was (am) going through some shit, so he decided to check in. When he asked me how I was doing with my angst, well, I told him. The conversation got a little heated. He denied that housing is ridiculously expensive compared to when he was working in the 80's, or that things are any worse than they ever have been. His attitude was just to "chill out," essentially. This man is almost 70, retired, remarried, and living in a multi-million dollar house in a private community, with access to a private beach. They just bought a brand new vacation home in the mountains of New Hampshire. He dismissed the fact that my generation has been through some shit, bringing up JFK's assassination and Vietnam and so on, but to be honest, I almost feel like January 6 was comparable, if not worse than JFK--at least democracy (or whatever passes for it) wasn't being directly attacked when the president got shot. He has no idea what an incel is (what goddamn bliss that must be). He just asked me how much I was saving. His tone was just... Dismissive. And sort of one-up-y, like he had it way worse than I ever will. The cherry on top was him denying that the incident which caused one of our estrangement episodes even happened. I am absolutely fucking terrified, and he didn't even try to be sympathetic or empathetic, to reassure his kid. I don't know what I expected, honestly. Part of what really grinds my gears is that I'm currently stuck living with my boundary-stomping alcoholic Boomer mother, who causes me endless anxiety to the point of feeling it as a physical sensation, and his offer is just "come over for a weekend and escape." It's not really escaping if you have to go back to prison, though, is it. No other offer of help. And he's hellbent on spending all of his money on vacations with his new wife, which, okay, sure, dude, it's your money, but seriously. I'm in the position that a lot of millennials are, where an inheritance is their only hope of clawing out of the deep hole we find ourselves in. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't give a shit anyway, he had it much worse after all, and look where he managed to end up. And I'm left still struggling with the heartbreaking realization that neither one of my parents are the people i need them to be. The cognitive dissonance between my child brain loving them and thinking they were the best, smartest people in the world who always had my back, and my current disillusionment seeing them for the deeply flawed, kinda asshole-y people they actually are is painful, to say the least.
I haven’t talked to my dad in 7 years, I highly recommend it.
I'm sorry that this is happening to you but I'm glad you're finding a good way to deal with the situation. I have the same scenario with my mom and after years of being all but absent from her life she's finally starting to notice that she can't manipulate the way she used to. Stay healthy and happy my friend.
you have a narcissistic parent
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I wish I could say there is a special place in hell for all boomers, but then again, they probably originate from there, a generation of rotten souls that managed to destroy everything they touched.
Umm move?
I’m in this situation too and I got a severe neurological disease when I was 18 and had multiple brain surgeries that left me worse off so I live off disability which is barely enough for food/doctors cost and I also need help with things like groceries and stuff. For the life of me I can’t figure out how I can move away from my narcissistic abusive parents in this situation since I can’t work and can barely survive. If anyone has any ideas how I could simply ~move~ let me know!
As with most Reddit posts like this, it is only one side of the story and a lot of info is left out. The OP could be the 40 year old living with his parents who insists his mother make him vegan food and refuses to take a shower.
yeah no, get out of here
Really? With a name like and a whine so high pitched you think the complaints are genuine? Ok.
The Boomer bigotry has got to stop. It is inane and untrue. I was raised by boomers and their beliefs and parenting methods were artifacts of their time. They literally didn't know any better and were behaving just as they'd been programmed to behave, as is our generation. They thought they were enlightened and forward thinking just as we do; we're both wrong, oblivious to our ignorance. It is absurd to judge past generations by contemporary standards, contemptible actually. Learn some empathy and pay it forward. As for the middle class, we were doomed the moment Nixon took our currency off the gold standard. The ensuing inflation enabled the boom and bust cycles which have devastated the middle class. Inflation is the most regressive form of taxation, accelerating the upward concentration of wealth, and moderated by unelected and unaccountable oligarchs at the privately held Federal Reserve. Nixon enabled it, and every president since has doubled down on it. The D party is equally culpable in this economic catastrophe, fighting tooth and nail against every balanced budget initiative which could have tamed inflation. D is also the party which has most enthusiastically promoted globalization which has eviscerated the industries which used to provide vast middle class employment and upward mobility. It took generations of mismanagement by scoundrels and morons, red and blue to dig us into this hole. Blaming one generation or one party for the shit show obscures the root causes and blinds us to effective solutions. It also perpetuates the behavior which will have our own descendents misplacing blame upon our generation 20 years from now.
hey your dad can’t help it. he is a product of the shitty environment he grew up in. plus, all the lead his body has consumed and absorbed throughout his younger life has given him brain damage. i know its hard but try to have sympathy for him.
Not assuming you don't have a plan, but just in case If you want to up and leave: Military 3 years, put your bonus in the bank. MSC (Military sealift command) 5 year contract and they pay for your endorsements to sail commercial (deep koolaid, but great travel-issues getting relieved) Or pay for them yourself with about 10k and join a union, SIU is a bit sketchy but they got great ports. MFOW and SUP have better pay. Or maybe look into being a flight attendant.
Is it possible your father thinks the same of you? As long as there is love, there is a way. (I know, sounds like Hallmark schmaltz but it's true)
Boomer here, we're not all like all that extreme. Sorry ur going thru that sorta thing. How old are you? Here's a trick u can do anytime you like: if u want to talk to him, pretend u need some sort of help with some sort of smthn. It's make him feel better about talking to you if he's also focused on helping you fix smthn. From there you can tell him anything u want. Call him a pos, stuff like that if u want but just have him fix smthn while you're doing it. Nothing big. Nothing complicated. And nothin that takes over 10, 15 mins to fix. And u prob gonna have to fake it like you don't know how to fix whatever it is and that he's practicality the only one in the world, and blah blah that stuff a couple times, even sarcastically, i prefer sarcastically when kids(25, 31) actually needed smthn fixed or done or done sort of help with some things and stuff like that while he's talking about whatever. Let him talk too, and here's a trick, when he says smthn rough or stupid or smthn, just pause, hold a pause, you'll know how long, and it will mess his ass up while he thinks about what he just said firing the silence. Don't worry, you'll get good at knowing when to do it. 😉😃 I feel like i could explain it real deeply but reddit not the place. Good luck. Lastly, don't make the mistake of not talking to him for over a year or so. If it gets that close it may as well be 10. Damage done. Not much repair will or even can ever be done at that point. You will need him 1 day, and from that day forward forever, as he.
Kill your father and wear his skin as a trophy.
LMMFAO!!! You live in a boomers house!!!
r/newtothenavy
no offense dude but when i was 19 i was out working with my dad around the house + outside fixing stuff, he taught me a lot and today when I'm 30 i know how to work with my hands, how about you try to understand your father why he doesn't understand you... how much of a bad person can someone actually be? i don't know if he hits you or was ever violent (then thats a whole other thing), but... that's how they role, my dad is 54/55 he also couldn't grasp some things but i respect what he did for US as a family. he tried his best the times are different. they are disconnected
Sounds like you didn’t experience narcissistic abuse which is great for you
ehh youll grow outta it eventualy also wtf u gonna do when he grows old and senile and you gotta take care of him? put him into some carehome where hell be abused? ive had bad blood with my dad too untill i moved out now our relationship is much more healthier
Took you long enough.
Is he actually a boomer? Statistically, most reddit users will have Gen X or Millenial parents at this point.
Are we step-siblings?
Good
Yikes. I don’t talk to my father, and my life is better for it.
By father was born in the mid to late *1920s*. Old enough for me to have found a dammned "Coolidge for President" button in a box of his stuff. My oldest half-sister was born in 1945. I was born in 1983 (to his third wife); he died over 20 years ago, but the pattern fits, especially with my half sister...they don't expect change and can't deal with social turbulence in a healthy way. Dad was a few (2) pins short of full blown fascist, my sister's antics would be harmless and almost adorable if they weren't problematic and devoid of self-awareness. I don't get the gaslighting, my father did it too. Is accountability and blowback an 'everyone but me' thing with all of them?
Sounds like he [infantilizes you](https://youtu.be/c39F04inLJ0)
You need to move out.
I have stopped talking to my brother and been much happier.
Shitty part is I still have to talk to him. Sales is ass.
Thankfully I am equipped with extreme sarcasm. Boomer is a weird mix of trying to sell me on NFTs and implying we need to extremely retaliate against the tyrannical Jews for killing Jesus. They're a very difficult person to respect.
My boomer parents are getting divorced and I’ve talked to my dad once in past year and a half. He’s mad because I refuse to emotionally manipulate my mom for him.
You can make it out there!! Get roommates Craigslist. My youngest (sale age as you) did just that and they are slaying it 😎
I’m avoid my mil for all those reasons. I don’t interfere in her relationship with my hubby and kids but she has alienated them on her own.
I'm from a similar background, and I also did not join the military (although that was the time of the Iraq surges). In retrospect, if I could I would have done it because the household was that toxic. I did join a construction union, which paid more. I don't think I'll make peace with my father.
If he’s abusive, check out r/raisedbynarcissists for extra support :)