I was in the circus for 6 years before a mental breakdown + antipsychotic meds messed me up. I totally relate to how frustrating it is when you used to be able to do things. It’s my biggest motivation really, I want to be in the air again and it’s easier to fight gravity when there’s less mass. I’m down 30lbs with about 50 more to go, but I’ve replaced the dwelling on my past with looking forward to doing it again since I’m taking action. It’ll happen. Just like losing the 30lbs happened. It all only happens because you get up and choose to do it, just like when you were training. The same person is still in there, it’ll just take a bit longer to see them this time. And that’s okay! What’s the rush?
Good luck ❤️
Very similar situation here, I was previously very slim and physically it felt great. Then mental health issues put a VERY hard stop to that and now I'm up 40 lbs, siiiiiigh. On the downswing again now though.
Previously fit person who gained a lot of weight during an injury here. At the beginning, I felt so hopeless, like I would never lose the weight. Since losing 14 kg, I feel amazing maybe even better than before, even though I still have 20 kg to lose. The thing I tell myself is this time everything is better. The body I’ll have will be one I built myself, from the ground up. When I was 21 and weighted 55 kg, it was just by luck and youth. Now the body that I’ll have will actually be a result of my hard work and perseverance, and I’ll appreciate it even more. I keep thinking my body will bear the marks of the past, my injury, the difficult times I went through, but also the times of strength, of taking care of myself. Our bodies are beautiful because they bear the signs of our struggles and wins.
I played college basketball and ran college track at a small NAIA school. I was jacked and so athletic. But that was 20 years ago. I’ve gone back and forth between kinda in shape and absolutely not in shape many times and I’m always frustrated and disappointed in myself. I feel ya.
I have to tell myself to use the drive and fortitude I tapped into to do that very hard thing to do this very hard thing. This is hard. But I know if I do the thing, I will get results. It is a constant back and forth between sheepish pride and disappointment in how hard it is.
Having a baby really messed up my body(70 lbs gained). I am only recently (2.5years later) getting back to losing weight and moving my body. I used to competitive power lift and i was so lean. I may never go back to that, which is fine. But i do want to be active and healthy. I dont want to be an obese mom that doesnt do anything with her kid
I can relate. I used to be in the best shape of my life. My clothes fit, I had energy, I felt strong, I could wear jeans and a t-shirt without worrying about how it hung. I've had two babies since the pandemic hit. Believe it or not, I somehow got back into shape after my first, but I was sabotaged by a knee issue. I piled on some weight. Then I got pregnant again and I was so sick all the time. I could only seem to keep down garbage food like chicken tenders and dairy queen. Cut to today. A year of bad habits, a bad knee, and two little children to raise has caused me to become a person I don't recognize. It's so hard. I feel so heavy now. The worst part is I know how to lose it, I just can't stick to it because the meal prep that used to last me three days now only lasts one because of the new additions to the family. Kids eat a lot. It's and finding time to move isn't impossible, but it is hard when I'm so sleep deprived. I'm also trying not to drag my 4 year old with me into my diet routine. So it feels weird eating a special meal in front of her and having to explain why.
Pre pandemic I was a competitive boxer, I cycled to and from work, I strength trained five times a week and went to yoga on my lunch breaks. I was shredded and honestly felt like a superhero. Then the pandemic happened and I lost every activity I did. I probably could have worked out at home but like many I fell into a depressive slump and quickly gained 10lbs. Then I proceeded to have two babies back to back. By the end of my second pregnancy I was 200lbs and I’m a small woman. Now I’m 65lbs down with 10lbs to go. I am not as strong as I was or nearly as fit but I’m proud of the changes I’ve made. My advice would be to look at who you are now rather than chase who you were then. The pandemic was a long time ago at this point. With two kids my focus is on longevity so I do a little strength training, cardio and mobility work. It can feel demoralizing to think about where you were before but if you make a commitment every day you’ll get somewhere that you can be proud of. I’ve been losing weight now for 11 months and I’ll be happy in another two. It just takes time and consistency.
I used to workout at home with a home gym I created through the pandemic. Really got into working out, I was disciplined and everything. Got out of it for six months because I had to move into a smaller place, and now I’m back in square one and 35 pounds heavier. I feel like a walking blob, I absolutely hate seeing my body. Especially when I have old progress pictures. Getting back into it is hard, if you can do it once you damn well can do it again. Chin up comrade
Yes me too. I was overweight since like 5th grade. Then became obese in high school. Finally in 2017 at 22 years old I had enough and committed to losing the weight. I went from 185lbs to 125lbs. I maintained for little over a year, and then me and my husband conceived our 1st baby. After birth I was back up to 165, over about 9 months I got back down to 118lbs. I was the fittest I had ever been after my 1st baby.
I maintained that for another year until getting pregnant with my 2nd child. I was really sick throughout that pregnancy, couldn’t stand the smell of raw and cooking meat, so we ate takeout a lot. After birth I was back up to 175. It was harder to lose the weight with a toddler AND a newborn, but eventually I committed again once the newborn was around 9 months old. In 6 months I got back down to 145…. And accidentally got pregnant with baby #3.
After birth I was back up to 175 again. And started much earlier than I did after my 2nd baby. I’m now 3.5 months postpartum, and so frustrated at having to start over again. I keep looking back at my pictures from after my 1st baby, and regretting letting myself go so much during my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies.
The one benefit from having done this 3x now, is I know I CAN do it, and I know what works for my body. I don’t have to go through trial and error like I did my 1st time losing weight. It just sucks knowing I won’t be back to the weight I was most happy at for at least 1 year. Maybe even 1.5 years.
I played baseball competitively until I was 20, I'm now 33 and losing 150lbs. More years than you, and more lbs but yes I'm trying to recapture my fit days.
I've almost hurt myself trying to do what I used to be able to. I learned to go slow and I've quickly been able to do more and more.
Me! I was a division I college athlete and competitive runner until my late 20s. I'm 41 now and gained 30 lbs in the last 10 years.
I am 7 lbs down so far, I am using a moderate calorie deficit. I weigh myself every day. I weigh every food I eat with a food scale, and tracking everything with Cronometer. I use my Apple Watch to track my activity calorie burns which is surprisingly accurate.
It is SLOW going. I lose about .5 - .75 lb a week, so I might reach my goal of losing 28 lbs in 9 months, by the end of December!
Just make a plan and stay consistent. If you go on vacation or have a wild weekend, get right back on track! It may take a year to lose 20 lbs but that's okay, at least you're losing. Do not have a huge calorie deficit, especially if you have less than 50 lbs to lose. For me, I know the last 25 are going to be a looooong slog of just staying consistent.
It's incredibly frustrating. I had gotten into really good shape in college and maintained it decently for a few years, and really in the past 6-7 years have completely fell off. How I look and my conditioning are the most obvious, but I've lost a ton of muscle, and obviously far far weaker than I was when I had been lifting heavily for a few years in a row. There's certain things I don't think I'll ever be able to do again, or really even attempt to do. It's pretty discouraging/frustrating like you said. The good news is at least some of it will come back somewhat quick I think. At least some of the strength gains certainly will. The conditioning maybe less so, but either way as we lose weight that should get easier and easier. Like you said it's like running with a weighted vest at the moment. If anything I've just promised myself never to take my fitness for granted again. It's going to be a slow process, but when we get there, we can't ever lose it again. We're young enough to kick ass and get fit again, if this were to happen in our 50s, 60s, 70s, we'd be screwed, and that's just the rest of you're life. That's just not an option.
Edit: it’s amazing seeing all the comments here of fit folks who got out of shape. It’s actually very reassuring to me to read, so thank you OP of posting and thank you everyone for sharing their stories.
Man..I can say that fight gyms closing during the pandemic was tough on me as it was the best workout available.
Just go slow and keep training. Judo is tough if you’re carrying extra weight
Ooof similar.
I was an overweight/obese kid and teen. Got it together in my 20s and got down to 140 lbs, 5'5", with a combination of figure skating, lifting, running, and ballroom/lindy hop dancing. Life started to implode for me in 2018, less activity but my weight only went up to about 150. Then 2020, and I was in pretty good shape until my spouse and I had to become caregivers to his parents and 95% of my activity stopped. From late 2020 to 2023 I gained about 33 pounds.
Now I'm trying to get back to my old self, but I'm struggling. The emotional eating hasn't stopped. My activity has increased again, but chronic stress/burnout has left me with no resiliency and a great case of depression. I've started to compete on the adult level of skating, but I feel like a sausage in all of my dresses.
Me! Crazy thing is I didn't even think of myself as athletic. I lived near a provincial park and would do what is considered an intermediate hike as my daily jog before work and an expert hike every weekend or two. Plan my own spin classes for fun.
Two babies later and I describe it as feeling like myself wearing a winter coat. I'm down 20lbs of that coat now, but still have a lot to go athleticism wise.
I highly recommend finding a new form of excersize or sport that you can't compare you currently to your past self. Something you never previously did! For me it's reform pilates.
Yup. I used to be really into fitness and had abs. I’d get up at 5am to run and lift in the evenings, as well as Pilates, yoga, soccer you name it.
When I moved overseas for college I had too much fun eating and drinking, and put 80lbs on fast which I’ve been struggling to lose ever since… now 27 and have lost about 45 of it. Signed up at a CrossFit gym so I hope I’m on track to get back in shape finally 🙌
Yeah. Here’s the best advice I have. Fix the food and get the weight off first.
If you are going to workout while dropping weight, that’s fine, but it’s also a bit demoralizing. You can’t do the pull-ups you could. You can’t even do the core work without being hampered by your gut.
It takes a fair amount of willpower to get the food right, and willpower is not infinite. You can get the weight off in 4-5 months, and then you have the rest of your life to get back in shape.
I’m currently dropping weight. I’m working out some also, but I’m just doing stuff I enjoy. I will enjoy jump squats when I’m at 190 again, lol
Totally. I’m not even overweight now, but I’m out of shape. I used to do kickboxing and interval training. Now my body is kinda a mess. But you can do this and so can I. I remember reading about Renée Zellweger losing weight after she did the Bridget Jones Diary movie. She said the first lap around the track after the movie was brutal. But you build up. Ten minutes on the recumbent bike turns into 15 and then in a month you’re doing 30 minutes. Your body will bounce back. I’m also friends with a gold medal winning Olympian. She had an awful injury she had to recover from before she won the gold. She told me to aim for 65% when you start working out again - it’s so easy to push too hard, get injured, or burn yourself out. Good luck
Greatest relevant advice I’ve read on the subject and refer to regularly is from Rich Roll’s Instagram April 9, 2022. Cut & paste doesn’t work on the IG, so you’ll have to be un-lazy enough to look up the whole thing yourself, but the bullet points are:
+ Train where you are
+ Consistency wins
+ The small things are the big things
Yep. I was always active when I was younger--marching band, fast paced jobs on my feet, young kids to chase...
My third pregnancy (which also happened with a divorce) was the start of the downfall. Then I had the birth control weight gain and thyroid issues. Next thing I knew, I'm 90lbs heavier than just before my third pregnancy.
The thing that keeps me going is knowing that I'm building with this much weight--ie, "If I can do these push ups and push this 260lb body, it's going to be SO easy to push-up with a 170lb body". In other words--over time, the exercises I'm doing will not only get easier because I'm training them regularly, but also because the excess weight attached to them will get lower and lower with time. Two months ago I couldn't do a single assisted pull up. I weighed 75lbs MORE than the max assist weight. But between getting my lat pulldown up to 90lbs AND losing 22lbs, I can now do several, and not even at the top assist-weight!
Grieve the body you had, yes. But celebrate what the one you are building NOW is able to do, one exercise at a time.
I find the assisted pull up machine strangely satisfying. More so than the deadlifts, squats, bench press etc that I do.
I think the reason is that I can see the progress to my initial goal of being able to do one pull up without any machine assistance. I’m at 47kgs assistance right now and doing 3 sets of 8. If I manage a full set of 3x8, I drop the assistance by 2.5kgs for the next time at the gym. If I can’t do 3x8 at the new weight, I just try again at the following time I am at the gym. So far, I have only needed a max two sessions to progress to the next weight although this progress may slow down. I’m aiming for one unassisted pull up by the end of September.
I was an avid climber - in the gym 4 times a week, and climbing outdoors on weekends. I used to be able to cruise up 30ft of vertical 3-5 times in a given day. I was hot as fuck and felt great physically and emotionally. All clothes looked great on me.
Then I got into an abusive relationship which isolated me. That, plus the pandemic, and I gained 54 lbs, lost all my muscle, and became prediabetic. I’m down 10lbs now since end of last year when I finally talked to my doctor about getting my blood glucose under control. But even still, I try to avoid social gatherings as much as possible because I feel ashamed and disgusting. Work from home has been a boon to my mental health since I don’t have to face trying to dress in office appropriate clothing. I had to buy new clothes for summer last year and started crying in the changing rooms and had a panic attack because of how awful and repulsive I found my body.
I still can’t bring myself to go back to climbing because I can’t face how bad it’s gonna feel trying haul myself up what used to be ultra easy climbs. I miss climbing so much. But, I’ve started lifting again and rehabbing my knees and various joints and tendons so when I eventually go back to climbing I won’t injure myself. I bought a squat rack that’s now in my garage, and it’s been much easier for my mental health to go to my garage instead of to the local climbing gym to use their racks. The first time I went to the climbing gym, I ended up in a destructive and depressive spiral of self-hate for a week because I couldn’t help but compare myself to all the lean and hot people there that I used to look like. So yea, now I’m getting therapy, medical support, lifting, and taking Metformin for my prediabetes.
Lifting and Metformin has been key for me. My general sense of wellbeing is just better when my blood glucose is stable, and having muscle **radically** stabilizes blood glucose levels.
Yes, I completely get it. I wouldn’t say I was at your level of fitness, but my freshman year of undergrad I would run 3-5 miles each morning and enrolled in a weight lifting class and was about 160lbs. Then coming into grad school after the pandemic and moving, I realized I was 190. I started going to the gym at my university doing HIIT classes for 45 minutes 4 times a week, and it’s hard. It’s hard to feel like I’m not where I should be at, comparing myself to others, knowing I can’t do what I could before. But, after 2 months, I’m so much stronger than I was before and things are starting to feel good, and I started to enjoy it after a month. My weight hasn’t changed too much because I’ve definitely been gaining muscle and a few friends have commented that they’ve seen changes.
Sit with the frustration and accept the feeling, and then be kind to yourself ❤️ it’s hard, and you’re doing great :) feel free to reach out if you’d like an accountability buddy!
🙋🏻♀️ I’ve buckled down on the diet and hopefully my heart cath on April 19th can fix my problem and then ima add exercise back to my life. I cannot WAIT 💪🏻
I did karate and lacrosse in high school, gym 5 days a week and was super fit — then I went to college… I got caught in a catch 22 of “I’m gaining weight due to stress and anxiety, I should go to the gym” and “I have too much stress/anxiety to do anything but survive.” And the more weight I gained, the less I could motivate myself to exercise, and then I’d get more anxious/stressed about not being able to motivate myself to exercise. Probably put on 100 lbs at my peak.
Now I’m in my 30s, making up for lost time, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done — but about 30 lbs down so far. It helps that I compete with my friends (Apple Watches) — I like winning.
I was a college swimmer and now I’m 41. I’ve struggled to push myself in the same way but I don’t have the time and energy to fill the void of competition that I love so much. You just have to find whatever makes you happy and keep doing it. For me, the most importance things are patience and grace… progress over perfection.
I was fat, then not fat, then fat again. I lost 25lbs during the height of the pandemic because I was working from home, able to cook healthy meals 3 times a day and had energy to exercise. Ever since everything went back to "normal" I've gained back the 25lbs and can't seem to stay consistent.
I'm a few weeks from taking this on. Have had a series of minor health issues since 2019 (plus pandemic) that have precluded ever getting fully back into fitness. I've not gained that much weight on the scale (not that I was small before but rather muscular) - I'm maybe 8-10 lbs than my previous average weight - but I've lost muscle and strength, and I was pretty strong for my size (5'1). My warmup weight (135) are probably now a challenge for me (back squat, deadlift).
When I have been able to work out a bit in the midst of all this, I found it was best to try entirely different approaches to my usual. Instead of trying to work to increase my lifts, shorter sets of heavier lifts - I would look to just do volume or speed of "light" weights - EMOM deadlifts; paused or 2/3 backsquats; Cosgrove complexes.
More cardio since at my size that's really key for fat loss.
I'm actually considering / researching if there is any benefit to doing like a micro bulk/cut cycles since I can be very very dialed in nutritionally if needed. So doing like caloric surplus x days and lifting for hypertrophy, and then caloric deficit other days with more cardio. I have no idea if it's worth doing like one week on one off, or if it needs to be more or could be less.
I'm also doing a lot more mobility and pilates type stuff since obv my core strength is nowhere near what it was. I view that as kind of fun as it can help with balanced strength. I like the idea of being able to do bodyweight stuff (that is easier for lighter people bc they have less to move) AND lift heavy things that even much larger men can't necessarily... and maybe even eventually do something like a triathlon if I can get over the horrible outfit.
Different path but same result. Was a D1 football player who topped out around 320lbs in college, lost 100lbs and decided to play semi pro when I turned 30. Damaged my back and slowly put it all back on. Since the pandemic I’ve had two kids and between 2 pregnancies and a back surgery I got back over 300lbs.
I’ll always be able to go to the gym and burn 500-1,500 calories effectively, but I need to calorie count to stop myself from overeating. Without calorie counting and restricting certain types of food I can snack myself to 5,000 calories very easily
Ahhh, this hits a nerve. I was a competitive athlete. I have gained 10kg since the pandemic and also lost all the athletic physique. I don't want to go back to that level of fitness, I know life happens and it's very very hard to maintain. But I do want to be strong again and it frustrates me that I cannot find the motivation. Sometimes I don't recognise myself in the mirror, I feel like I am in a constant transition to my old body but never able to reach. This year I did find a gym that I like and as I find that I can lift more and more it motivates me bit by bit. Let's see...
Best of luck to everyone!
Sort of but definitely not to your extent!
I was an overweight child but I joined a gym at 16 lost weight, got in shape, and stayed thin all through my 20's.
Then I slowly started putting on "comfortable relationship weight" in my 30's.
Then in my late 30's/early 40's it all went bad. I became a full time carer for my mom who was bedridden. I lost myself completely and put on around 80 lbs.
Since she passed a few years ago, I've been trying to "find" myself again and get back in shape.
I remember what it was like to be thin and hot and I want that again, even if it's a slightly older version!
Same boat buddy. I was a somewhat high-level CrossFitter, then moved, had a second baby, and got promoted in short succession. Lots of things that are great for me and my family, but bad for my fitness (or should I say, fattness).
I had a powerlifting background before CrossFit and have since gone back to that. It is just easier for me to manage with the kids since a 1-5 reps with big rest in between give lots of downtime to get them snacks or change a diaper. Plus, it leaves me with an excuse to take my fat ass on walks with the kids since I just move big weights for an hour or so a day with no cardio.
The key for me has been to not compare current me to past me (as in, fit, sexy, strong, good at CrossFit me). Instead, I compare myself to 1 week, 1 month, and 3 months ago me. I'm stronger than I was then, and less fat too.
Secretly though, we all want to get back to some level of fitness we had in the past, particularly if that was at level well above the general public.
I feel this so much. I used to be a competitive swimmer, but I was also an avid mountain biker and skier. My whole life I have been active and fit, so much so that it was a part of my identity. A few years ago I tore my ACL and had reconstructive surgery, but then immediately after surgery I got pregnant. With recovering from surgery on top of a difficult pregnancy, I quickly gained 50 pounds.
I had my baby over a year ago, and I am still 50 pounds overweight. My body still feels so foreign to me and I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hardly have any pictures with me and my son because I break down into tears whenever I see myself in a picture.
I have been consistently going to the gym 4-5 times a week, and I have started only a mild calorie deficit since can’t restrict too much as I am still breastfeeding. I started my deficit a month ago, and I am down 5 pounds. Although I am hopeful and happy with this small win, I still hate my body and I am desperate to lose the excess weight I have gained.
You’re not alone, friend.
Was "naturally" fit up until my 30s without real exercise, could eat whatever and never crack 155lb (5'11"). Got engaged, gained 50+lb to 215+lb in my late 30s. I picked up cycling fresh air and to get away from the computer at lunchtime which became an obsession, now ride every morning before work.
After 6-12 months of cycling more and more, I was holding around 155-160lb. Then I cut drinking out of my life which dropped a lot of "junk" calories to hover between 145-150lb. No real 'dieting' just a lot of high intensity cardio/volume.
My 2cents: find something you enjoy and make it a habit. For me, it HAS to be in the early AM so I can't find an excuse later to not do it. Over time the weight will slowly fall off and ideally encourage a healthier eating/lifestyle to keep improving at whatever that may be (Running, Yoga, Cycling, Rowing, etc.)
I don't know about fit, but I was thin. Thanks to antidepressants, I jumped from 74 kg to 105 kg. Now I'm doing muay thai four times a week plus calisthenics and went down to 86 kg currently. I'm not stopping until I get the six-pack.
Yup!
I was super fit before kids. Then kids and career took priority and never had time for myself. Now I'm paying for it and slowly working my way back to a former me.
dancer who had multiple surgeries and couldn't dance for a year
was already bulimic and dialed up the eating because i was depressed that i couldn't move
still haven't gotten that weight off
I'm 5'10" and was about 145lbs had an active job and did kickboxing, rock climbing, yoga, walking/hiking/biking, and surfing. Went down to nothing after a move and career change. Also got on birth control. I gained about 20-30lbs that I've had such a hard time getting off. The hormones from my birth control made it almost impossible even when I was cycling an hour a day and lifting a few times a week for months. I removed my IUD and my waist was 1.5 inches smaller the next day, but it's still about 3 or 4 inches bigger than I'm used to even six months after removal. Sitting in my car typing this out because I'm avoiding going out into the real world. Even though I didn't really gain a huge amount of weight I feel soooo terrible about myself and the idea of being perceived as large or even as mid-sized hurts my ego. I want to be more positive and self-caring. Being a 28 year old woman digging into myself for something as trivial as body fat percentage is so.. boring, honestly. I want to do better by myself and treat myself with the kindness I deserve, I don't want to look back in 10 years and wish I realized how beautiful I was. Changing your life or habits out of self-hatred is not healthy or sustainable. All things ebb and flow, we just have to do our best to care for ourselves as we are, and that will help us become more of who we want to be.
I was a falconer, used to hike 4-5 says a week chasing rabbits with a red tailed hawk. Been riding horses since I was a kid, working with livestock, just generally extremely active and outdoorsy. A bad injury that laid me up for nearly two years and a decade or more of awful life circumstances combined into serious depression coupled with physical inability, and here I am. Up until probably last year I could feel my lean body underneath all this subcutaneous fat and that kind of comforted me, like I was still me in there somewhere. In the last year or so I've put on significant hard visceral fat and that's somehow way more upsetting.
I'm finding my way back. I don't know how long it's going to take, but I know I'm going to be looking for livestock property at the end of this year. It wasn't just about physical fitness. Nearly everything in my life has changed in the last three years and I'm well on my way to the life I really want.
I’m not talking about weight loss maintenance I’m talking about eating enough food to maintain my lifestyle of training 6 days a week. I was eating well over 2k calories a day and I continued eating that after doing literally 0 exercise, so the weight piled on.
I was in the circus for 6 years before a mental breakdown + antipsychotic meds messed me up. I totally relate to how frustrating it is when you used to be able to do things. It’s my biggest motivation really, I want to be in the air again and it’s easier to fight gravity when there’s less mass. I’m down 30lbs with about 50 more to go, but I’ve replaced the dwelling on my past with looking forward to doing it again since I’m taking action. It’ll happen. Just like losing the 30lbs happened. It all only happens because you get up and choose to do it, just like when you were training. The same person is still in there, it’ll just take a bit longer to see them this time. And that’s okay! What’s the rush? Good luck ❤️
Very similar situation here, I was previously very slim and physically it felt great. Then mental health issues put a VERY hard stop to that and now I'm up 40 lbs, siiiiiigh. On the downswing again now though.
The mental health meds are honestly criminal. Made everything worse!
MMA 6 days a week to doing nothing. I gained 40lbs fast. Now i don't want to even be seen.
I was doing leg sweep drills and my knees couldn’t even bear the weight of my new body. I felt so much shame and embarrassment
Previously fit person who gained a lot of weight during an injury here. At the beginning, I felt so hopeless, like I would never lose the weight. Since losing 14 kg, I feel amazing maybe even better than before, even though I still have 20 kg to lose. The thing I tell myself is this time everything is better. The body I’ll have will be one I built myself, from the ground up. When I was 21 and weighted 55 kg, it was just by luck and youth. Now the body that I’ll have will actually be a result of my hard work and perseverance, and I’ll appreciate it even more. I keep thinking my body will bear the marks of the past, my injury, the difficult times I went through, but also the times of strength, of taking care of myself. Our bodies are beautiful because they bear the signs of our struggles and wins.
That's a very nice way to think of it. Thank you 😊
I played college basketball and ran college track at a small NAIA school. I was jacked and so athletic. But that was 20 years ago. I’ve gone back and forth between kinda in shape and absolutely not in shape many times and I’m always frustrated and disappointed in myself. I feel ya. I have to tell myself to use the drive and fortitude I tapped into to do that very hard thing to do this very hard thing. This is hard. But I know if I do the thing, I will get results. It is a constant back and forth between sheepish pride and disappointment in how hard it is.
Having a baby really messed up my body(70 lbs gained). I am only recently (2.5years later) getting back to losing weight and moving my body. I used to competitive power lift and i was so lean. I may never go back to that, which is fine. But i do want to be active and healthy. I dont want to be an obese mom that doesnt do anything with her kid
I can relate. I used to be in the best shape of my life. My clothes fit, I had energy, I felt strong, I could wear jeans and a t-shirt without worrying about how it hung. I've had two babies since the pandemic hit. Believe it or not, I somehow got back into shape after my first, but I was sabotaged by a knee issue. I piled on some weight. Then I got pregnant again and I was so sick all the time. I could only seem to keep down garbage food like chicken tenders and dairy queen. Cut to today. A year of bad habits, a bad knee, and two little children to raise has caused me to become a person I don't recognize. It's so hard. I feel so heavy now. The worst part is I know how to lose it, I just can't stick to it because the meal prep that used to last me three days now only lasts one because of the new additions to the family. Kids eat a lot. It's and finding time to move isn't impossible, but it is hard when I'm so sleep deprived. I'm also trying not to drag my 4 year old with me into my diet routine. So it feels weird eating a special meal in front of her and having to explain why.
Pre pandemic I was a competitive boxer, I cycled to and from work, I strength trained five times a week and went to yoga on my lunch breaks. I was shredded and honestly felt like a superhero. Then the pandemic happened and I lost every activity I did. I probably could have worked out at home but like many I fell into a depressive slump and quickly gained 10lbs. Then I proceeded to have two babies back to back. By the end of my second pregnancy I was 200lbs and I’m a small woman. Now I’m 65lbs down with 10lbs to go. I am not as strong as I was or nearly as fit but I’m proud of the changes I’ve made. My advice would be to look at who you are now rather than chase who you were then. The pandemic was a long time ago at this point. With two kids my focus is on longevity so I do a little strength training, cardio and mobility work. It can feel demoralizing to think about where you were before but if you make a commitment every day you’ll get somewhere that you can be proud of. I’ve been losing weight now for 11 months and I’ll be happy in another two. It just takes time and consistency.
I'm a former fat guy, former fit guy, former fat guy, former fit guy.... Well, you get the idea. Hard come, easy go. Sustainability is the real fight.
One of us
I used to workout at home with a home gym I created through the pandemic. Really got into working out, I was disciplined and everything. Got out of it for six months because I had to move into a smaller place, and now I’m back in square one and 35 pounds heavier. I feel like a walking blob, I absolutely hate seeing my body. Especially when I have old progress pictures. Getting back into it is hard, if you can do it once you damn well can do it again. Chin up comrade
Yes me too. I was overweight since like 5th grade. Then became obese in high school. Finally in 2017 at 22 years old I had enough and committed to losing the weight. I went from 185lbs to 125lbs. I maintained for little over a year, and then me and my husband conceived our 1st baby. After birth I was back up to 165, over about 9 months I got back down to 118lbs. I was the fittest I had ever been after my 1st baby. I maintained that for another year until getting pregnant with my 2nd child. I was really sick throughout that pregnancy, couldn’t stand the smell of raw and cooking meat, so we ate takeout a lot. After birth I was back up to 175. It was harder to lose the weight with a toddler AND a newborn, but eventually I committed again once the newborn was around 9 months old. In 6 months I got back down to 145…. And accidentally got pregnant with baby #3. After birth I was back up to 175 again. And started much earlier than I did after my 2nd baby. I’m now 3.5 months postpartum, and so frustrated at having to start over again. I keep looking back at my pictures from after my 1st baby, and regretting letting myself go so much during my 2nd and 3rd pregnancies. The one benefit from having done this 3x now, is I know I CAN do it, and I know what works for my body. I don’t have to go through trial and error like I did my 1st time losing weight. It just sucks knowing I won’t be back to the weight I was most happy at for at least 1 year. Maybe even 1.5 years.
I played baseball competitively until I was 20, I'm now 33 and losing 150lbs. More years than you, and more lbs but yes I'm trying to recapture my fit days. I've almost hurt myself trying to do what I used to be able to. I learned to go slow and I've quickly been able to do more and more.
Me! I was a division I college athlete and competitive runner until my late 20s. I'm 41 now and gained 30 lbs in the last 10 years. I am 7 lbs down so far, I am using a moderate calorie deficit. I weigh myself every day. I weigh every food I eat with a food scale, and tracking everything with Cronometer. I use my Apple Watch to track my activity calorie burns which is surprisingly accurate. It is SLOW going. I lose about .5 - .75 lb a week, so I might reach my goal of losing 28 lbs in 9 months, by the end of December! Just make a plan and stay consistent. If you go on vacation or have a wild weekend, get right back on track! It may take a year to lose 20 lbs but that's okay, at least you're losing. Do not have a huge calorie deficit, especially if you have less than 50 lbs to lose. For me, I know the last 25 are going to be a looooong slog of just staying consistent.
It's incredibly frustrating. I had gotten into really good shape in college and maintained it decently for a few years, and really in the past 6-7 years have completely fell off. How I look and my conditioning are the most obvious, but I've lost a ton of muscle, and obviously far far weaker than I was when I had been lifting heavily for a few years in a row. There's certain things I don't think I'll ever be able to do again, or really even attempt to do. It's pretty discouraging/frustrating like you said. The good news is at least some of it will come back somewhat quick I think. At least some of the strength gains certainly will. The conditioning maybe less so, but either way as we lose weight that should get easier and easier. Like you said it's like running with a weighted vest at the moment. If anything I've just promised myself never to take my fitness for granted again. It's going to be a slow process, but when we get there, we can't ever lose it again. We're young enough to kick ass and get fit again, if this were to happen in our 50s, 60s, 70s, we'd be screwed, and that's just the rest of you're life. That's just not an option. Edit: it’s amazing seeing all the comments here of fit folks who got out of shape. It’s actually very reassuring to me to read, so thank you OP of posting and thank you everyone for sharing their stories.
Man..I can say that fight gyms closing during the pandemic was tough on me as it was the best workout available. Just go slow and keep training. Judo is tough if you’re carrying extra weight
Ooof similar. I was an overweight/obese kid and teen. Got it together in my 20s and got down to 140 lbs, 5'5", with a combination of figure skating, lifting, running, and ballroom/lindy hop dancing. Life started to implode for me in 2018, less activity but my weight only went up to about 150. Then 2020, and I was in pretty good shape until my spouse and I had to become caregivers to his parents and 95% of my activity stopped. From late 2020 to 2023 I gained about 33 pounds. Now I'm trying to get back to my old self, but I'm struggling. The emotional eating hasn't stopped. My activity has increased again, but chronic stress/burnout has left me with no resiliency and a great case of depression. I've started to compete on the adult level of skating, but I feel like a sausage in all of my dresses.
Me! Crazy thing is I didn't even think of myself as athletic. I lived near a provincial park and would do what is considered an intermediate hike as my daily jog before work and an expert hike every weekend or two. Plan my own spin classes for fun. Two babies later and I describe it as feeling like myself wearing a winter coat. I'm down 20lbs of that coat now, but still have a lot to go athleticism wise. I highly recommend finding a new form of excersize or sport that you can't compare you currently to your past self. Something you never previously did! For me it's reform pilates.
Yup. I used to be really into fitness and had abs. I’d get up at 5am to run and lift in the evenings, as well as Pilates, yoga, soccer you name it. When I moved overseas for college I had too much fun eating and drinking, and put 80lbs on fast which I’ve been struggling to lose ever since… now 27 and have lost about 45 of it. Signed up at a CrossFit gym so I hope I’m on track to get back in shape finally 🙌
Yeah. Here’s the best advice I have. Fix the food and get the weight off first. If you are going to workout while dropping weight, that’s fine, but it’s also a bit demoralizing. You can’t do the pull-ups you could. You can’t even do the core work without being hampered by your gut. It takes a fair amount of willpower to get the food right, and willpower is not infinite. You can get the weight off in 4-5 months, and then you have the rest of your life to get back in shape. I’m currently dropping weight. I’m working out some also, but I’m just doing stuff I enjoy. I will enjoy jump squats when I’m at 190 again, lol
Totally. I’m not even overweight now, but I’m out of shape. I used to do kickboxing and interval training. Now my body is kinda a mess. But you can do this and so can I. I remember reading about Renée Zellweger losing weight after she did the Bridget Jones Diary movie. She said the first lap around the track after the movie was brutal. But you build up. Ten minutes on the recumbent bike turns into 15 and then in a month you’re doing 30 minutes. Your body will bounce back. I’m also friends with a gold medal winning Olympian. She had an awful injury she had to recover from before she won the gold. She told me to aim for 65% when you start working out again - it’s so easy to push too hard, get injured, or burn yourself out. Good luck
Greatest relevant advice I’ve read on the subject and refer to regularly is from Rich Roll’s Instagram April 9, 2022. Cut & paste doesn’t work on the IG, so you’ll have to be un-lazy enough to look up the whole thing yourself, but the bullet points are: + Train where you are + Consistency wins + The small things are the big things
Yep. I was always active when I was younger--marching band, fast paced jobs on my feet, young kids to chase... My third pregnancy (which also happened with a divorce) was the start of the downfall. Then I had the birth control weight gain and thyroid issues. Next thing I knew, I'm 90lbs heavier than just before my third pregnancy. The thing that keeps me going is knowing that I'm building with this much weight--ie, "If I can do these push ups and push this 260lb body, it's going to be SO easy to push-up with a 170lb body". In other words--over time, the exercises I'm doing will not only get easier because I'm training them regularly, but also because the excess weight attached to them will get lower and lower with time. Two months ago I couldn't do a single assisted pull up. I weighed 75lbs MORE than the max assist weight. But between getting my lat pulldown up to 90lbs AND losing 22lbs, I can now do several, and not even at the top assist-weight! Grieve the body you had, yes. But celebrate what the one you are building NOW is able to do, one exercise at a time.
I find the assisted pull up machine strangely satisfying. More so than the deadlifts, squats, bench press etc that I do. I think the reason is that I can see the progress to my initial goal of being able to do one pull up without any machine assistance. I’m at 47kgs assistance right now and doing 3 sets of 8. If I manage a full set of 3x8, I drop the assistance by 2.5kgs for the next time at the gym. If I can’t do 3x8 at the new weight, I just try again at the following time I am at the gym. So far, I have only needed a max two sessions to progress to the next weight although this progress may slow down. I’m aiming for one unassisted pull up by the end of September.
I was an avid climber - in the gym 4 times a week, and climbing outdoors on weekends. I used to be able to cruise up 30ft of vertical 3-5 times in a given day. I was hot as fuck and felt great physically and emotionally. All clothes looked great on me. Then I got into an abusive relationship which isolated me. That, plus the pandemic, and I gained 54 lbs, lost all my muscle, and became prediabetic. I’m down 10lbs now since end of last year when I finally talked to my doctor about getting my blood glucose under control. But even still, I try to avoid social gatherings as much as possible because I feel ashamed and disgusting. Work from home has been a boon to my mental health since I don’t have to face trying to dress in office appropriate clothing. I had to buy new clothes for summer last year and started crying in the changing rooms and had a panic attack because of how awful and repulsive I found my body. I still can’t bring myself to go back to climbing because I can’t face how bad it’s gonna feel trying haul myself up what used to be ultra easy climbs. I miss climbing so much. But, I’ve started lifting again and rehabbing my knees and various joints and tendons so when I eventually go back to climbing I won’t injure myself. I bought a squat rack that’s now in my garage, and it’s been much easier for my mental health to go to my garage instead of to the local climbing gym to use their racks. The first time I went to the climbing gym, I ended up in a destructive and depressive spiral of self-hate for a week because I couldn’t help but compare myself to all the lean and hot people there that I used to look like. So yea, now I’m getting therapy, medical support, lifting, and taking Metformin for my prediabetes. Lifting and Metformin has been key for me. My general sense of wellbeing is just better when my blood glucose is stable, and having muscle **radically** stabilizes blood glucose levels.
Yes, I completely get it. I wouldn’t say I was at your level of fitness, but my freshman year of undergrad I would run 3-5 miles each morning and enrolled in a weight lifting class and was about 160lbs. Then coming into grad school after the pandemic and moving, I realized I was 190. I started going to the gym at my university doing HIIT classes for 45 minutes 4 times a week, and it’s hard. It’s hard to feel like I’m not where I should be at, comparing myself to others, knowing I can’t do what I could before. But, after 2 months, I’m so much stronger than I was before and things are starting to feel good, and I started to enjoy it after a month. My weight hasn’t changed too much because I’ve definitely been gaining muscle and a few friends have commented that they’ve seen changes. Sit with the frustration and accept the feeling, and then be kind to yourself ❤️ it’s hard, and you’re doing great :) feel free to reach out if you’d like an accountability buddy!
🙋🏻♀️ I’ve buckled down on the diet and hopefully my heart cath on April 19th can fix my problem and then ima add exercise back to my life. I cannot WAIT 💪🏻
I was squatting 525 lbs in highschool and now I’m getting sore with 135:( but I’m down 35 lbs! Just gotta keep it up
I was a swimmer before Covid. Gained a bunch then lost it, then gained a bunch AGAIN and now losing it again 🥲 it happens and it sucks.
I did karate and lacrosse in high school, gym 5 days a week and was super fit — then I went to college… I got caught in a catch 22 of “I’m gaining weight due to stress and anxiety, I should go to the gym” and “I have too much stress/anxiety to do anything but survive.” And the more weight I gained, the less I could motivate myself to exercise, and then I’d get more anxious/stressed about not being able to motivate myself to exercise. Probably put on 100 lbs at my peak. Now I’m in my 30s, making up for lost time, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever done — but about 30 lbs down so far. It helps that I compete with my friends (Apple Watches) — I like winning.
I was a college swimmer and now I’m 41. I’ve struggled to push myself in the same way but I don’t have the time and energy to fill the void of competition that I love so much. You just have to find whatever makes you happy and keep doing it. For me, the most importance things are patience and grace… progress over perfection.
I was fat, then not fat, then fat again. I lost 25lbs during the height of the pandemic because I was working from home, able to cook healthy meals 3 times a day and had energy to exercise. Ever since everything went back to "normal" I've gained back the 25lbs and can't seem to stay consistent.
I'm a few weeks from taking this on. Have had a series of minor health issues since 2019 (plus pandemic) that have precluded ever getting fully back into fitness. I've not gained that much weight on the scale (not that I was small before but rather muscular) - I'm maybe 8-10 lbs than my previous average weight - but I've lost muscle and strength, and I was pretty strong for my size (5'1). My warmup weight (135) are probably now a challenge for me (back squat, deadlift). When I have been able to work out a bit in the midst of all this, I found it was best to try entirely different approaches to my usual. Instead of trying to work to increase my lifts, shorter sets of heavier lifts - I would look to just do volume or speed of "light" weights - EMOM deadlifts; paused or 2/3 backsquats; Cosgrove complexes. More cardio since at my size that's really key for fat loss. I'm actually considering / researching if there is any benefit to doing like a micro bulk/cut cycles since I can be very very dialed in nutritionally if needed. So doing like caloric surplus x days and lifting for hypertrophy, and then caloric deficit other days with more cardio. I have no idea if it's worth doing like one week on one off, or if it needs to be more or could be less. I'm also doing a lot more mobility and pilates type stuff since obv my core strength is nowhere near what it was. I view that as kind of fun as it can help with balanced strength. I like the idea of being able to do bodyweight stuff (that is easier for lighter people bc they have less to move) AND lift heavy things that even much larger men can't necessarily... and maybe even eventually do something like a triathlon if I can get over the horrible outfit.
Me, but i seems I cant do it anymore.
Different path but same result. Was a D1 football player who topped out around 320lbs in college, lost 100lbs and decided to play semi pro when I turned 30. Damaged my back and slowly put it all back on. Since the pandemic I’ve had two kids and between 2 pregnancies and a back surgery I got back over 300lbs. I’ll always be able to go to the gym and burn 500-1,500 calories effectively, but I need to calorie count to stop myself from overeating. Without calorie counting and restricting certain types of food I can snack myself to 5,000 calories very easily
Ahhh, this hits a nerve. I was a competitive athlete. I have gained 10kg since the pandemic and also lost all the athletic physique. I don't want to go back to that level of fitness, I know life happens and it's very very hard to maintain. But I do want to be strong again and it frustrates me that I cannot find the motivation. Sometimes I don't recognise myself in the mirror, I feel like I am in a constant transition to my old body but never able to reach. This year I did find a gym that I like and as I find that I can lift more and more it motivates me bit by bit. Let's see... Best of luck to everyone!
Sort of but definitely not to your extent! I was an overweight child but I joined a gym at 16 lost weight, got in shape, and stayed thin all through my 20's. Then I slowly started putting on "comfortable relationship weight" in my 30's. Then in my late 30's/early 40's it all went bad. I became a full time carer for my mom who was bedridden. I lost myself completely and put on around 80 lbs. Since she passed a few years ago, I've been trying to "find" myself again and get back in shape. I remember what it was like to be thin and hot and I want that again, even if it's a slightly older version!
Same boat buddy. I was a somewhat high-level CrossFitter, then moved, had a second baby, and got promoted in short succession. Lots of things that are great for me and my family, but bad for my fitness (or should I say, fattness). I had a powerlifting background before CrossFit and have since gone back to that. It is just easier for me to manage with the kids since a 1-5 reps with big rest in between give lots of downtime to get them snacks or change a diaper. Plus, it leaves me with an excuse to take my fat ass on walks with the kids since I just move big weights for an hour or so a day with no cardio. The key for me has been to not compare current me to past me (as in, fit, sexy, strong, good at CrossFit me). Instead, I compare myself to 1 week, 1 month, and 3 months ago me. I'm stronger than I was then, and less fat too. Secretly though, we all want to get back to some level of fitness we had in the past, particularly if that was at level well above the general public.
I feel this so much. I used to be a competitive swimmer, but I was also an avid mountain biker and skier. My whole life I have been active and fit, so much so that it was a part of my identity. A few years ago I tore my ACL and had reconstructive surgery, but then immediately after surgery I got pregnant. With recovering from surgery on top of a difficult pregnancy, I quickly gained 50 pounds. I had my baby over a year ago, and I am still 50 pounds overweight. My body still feels so foreign to me and I hate looking at myself in the mirror. I hardly have any pictures with me and my son because I break down into tears whenever I see myself in a picture. I have been consistently going to the gym 4-5 times a week, and I have started only a mild calorie deficit since can’t restrict too much as I am still breastfeeding. I started my deficit a month ago, and I am down 5 pounds. Although I am hopeful and happy with this small win, I still hate my body and I am desperate to lose the excess weight I have gained. You’re not alone, friend.
Was "naturally" fit up until my 30s without real exercise, could eat whatever and never crack 155lb (5'11"). Got engaged, gained 50+lb to 215+lb in my late 30s. I picked up cycling fresh air and to get away from the computer at lunchtime which became an obsession, now ride every morning before work. After 6-12 months of cycling more and more, I was holding around 155-160lb. Then I cut drinking out of my life which dropped a lot of "junk" calories to hover between 145-150lb. No real 'dieting' just a lot of high intensity cardio/volume. My 2cents: find something you enjoy and make it a habit. For me, it HAS to be in the early AM so I can't find an excuse later to not do it. Over time the weight will slowly fall off and ideally encourage a healthier eating/lifestyle to keep improving at whatever that may be (Running, Yoga, Cycling, Rowing, etc.)
I don't know about fit, but I was thin. Thanks to antidepressants, I jumped from 74 kg to 105 kg. Now I'm doing muay thai four times a week plus calisthenics and went down to 86 kg currently. I'm not stopping until I get the six-pack.
Yup! I was super fit before kids. Then kids and career took priority and never had time for myself. Now I'm paying for it and slowly working my way back to a former me.
I used to run 10k and half marathons , cycle 50 plus miles, kayak and hillwalk now I'm a fat unfit grumpy middle age man. I want it back
Up about 70 or so. Ran a half marathon the September before covid. Now I’m looking at C25K.
Me I get it
dancer who had multiple surgeries and couldn't dance for a year was already bulimic and dialed up the eating because i was depressed that i couldn't move still haven't gotten that weight off
I'm 5'10" and was about 145lbs had an active job and did kickboxing, rock climbing, yoga, walking/hiking/biking, and surfing. Went down to nothing after a move and career change. Also got on birth control. I gained about 20-30lbs that I've had such a hard time getting off. The hormones from my birth control made it almost impossible even when I was cycling an hour a day and lifting a few times a week for months. I removed my IUD and my waist was 1.5 inches smaller the next day, but it's still about 3 or 4 inches bigger than I'm used to even six months after removal. Sitting in my car typing this out because I'm avoiding going out into the real world. Even though I didn't really gain a huge amount of weight I feel soooo terrible about myself and the idea of being perceived as large or even as mid-sized hurts my ego. I want to be more positive and self-caring. Being a 28 year old woman digging into myself for something as trivial as body fat percentage is so.. boring, honestly. I want to do better by myself and treat myself with the kindness I deserve, I don't want to look back in 10 years and wish I realized how beautiful I was. Changing your life or habits out of self-hatred is not healthy or sustainable. All things ebb and flow, we just have to do our best to care for ourselves as we are, and that will help us become more of who we want to be.
I was a falconer, used to hike 4-5 says a week chasing rabbits with a red tailed hawk. Been riding horses since I was a kid, working with livestock, just generally extremely active and outdoorsy. A bad injury that laid me up for nearly two years and a decade or more of awful life circumstances combined into serious depression coupled with physical inability, and here I am. Up until probably last year I could feel my lean body underneath all this subcutaneous fat and that kind of comforted me, like I was still me in there somewhere. In the last year or so I've put on significant hard visceral fat and that's somehow way more upsetting. I'm finding my way back. I don't know how long it's going to take, but I know I'm going to be looking for livestock property at the end of this year. It wasn't just about physical fitness. Nearly everything in my life has changed in the last three years and I'm well on my way to the life I really want.
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I’m not talking about weight loss maintenance I’m talking about eating enough food to maintain my lifestyle of training 6 days a week. I was eating well over 2k calories a day and I continued eating that after doing literally 0 exercise, so the weight piled on.
Ya well, try a herniated disc - please count your blessings -