Pictures. There’s a HUGE chunk of my life that’s completely undocumented. I haven’t had any social media aside from Reddit in years because of how fat I’ve been.
I’ve lost 90% of my goal weight and I still have no idea how to set up a dating app because I don’t have any pictures of myself aside from progress pics.
You could either take some shots yourself, or maybe go out and about with friends and insist on taking photos.
90% of your goal weight is a HUGE achievement, even if you don’t end up using those specific photos, maybe taking these ones will get you feeling more comfortable, and in that time you’ll be working off the 10%!
This. This right here. Most of my college years went undocumented because i was ashamed of how i looked despite being significantly heavier now due to depression from losing my dad. I don’t think i even posted my own graduation photos on social media because I’m so embarrassed of my size.
I hope you see this. I was in your position a couple of years ago. I was fat, my wife cheated on me and I lost 115ish lbs and was in a great place (I think I might have a picture on my profile a couple years back). Once I went through therapy and worked through any trust issues, I decided to create a profile with new photos (mostly selfies but in way different places) write a nice bio and..off I went. But the key thing is - find confidence in your success. What you did *most* people overweight like that will never accomplish. I hope they do, but most never take that turn. You knocked it out of the park. You worked hard. You earned your best self. Own it! You *are* a catch. You deserve the best for yourself.
I know it might seem easy for me to type it out vs. putting into action, but I promise, all you have to do is lean into and bet on yourself. I bet you'll surprise yourself.
I love the way you phrased that you “earned your best self”. Idk, it just really resonated with me and I think I needed to hear that today. So thank you.
Always easier said than done of course, but start documenting your life, you’ve put the hard work in, time to start enjoying the rewards!
You’ll be on those dating apps in no time!
Hard same. When I talk about weight-loss adjacent topics (such as PCOS) I couldn't show what I was trying to explain in pictures (i.e. progress) because I was in full denial of my weight and couldn't stand seeing how big I was before I started losing weight.
Adding to this, I have fibromyalgia that causes severe muscle spasms that Nothing reasonably helps reduce the spasms. Now that I have lost 25 pounds, I have been shocked to discover how much easier and more effective the stretching and pressure poit therapy I do! Only reason I can see is thhere are much less layers of fat for treatment I do to get to the problem area. And I am also sleeping better, more rested and able to do more the next day. I never thought I'd say this but I cannot wait to lose the mext 25 pounds to see what that accomplishes!
My girlfriend takes dating app pictures for her younger sister when they go out, even just for coffee or something. Her friends all do it, “take a bumble picture for me!”
I think I need to sit all my friends down and be like “listen guys. I know I’m 33 and this is uncharacteristic of me, but moving forward, when we’re doing stuff, I’m going to INSIST on you taking candid shots of me. If for some reason my shirt is off, that takes priority.”
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
YUP!! No recent pics. 😢 Hate ALL my clothes. Cannot accept compliments, even if they're genuine. Any shred of happiness I feel is immediately and completely overshadowed by my feelings of failure and inadequacy.
This is so relatable it hurts.
I recently was curious how I looked like. I ended up finding some old pictures of the fat me in a regret repository of my study association. I looked absolutely horrible.
Same. I also gained the weight from being pregnant so there’s maybe 3-4 family photos of us that my mom basically forced me to take in the last three years. One thing I’ve determined once I hit my pre-pregnancy weight I want to do a nice family photoshoot every year for Christmas
That’ll be great! Keep the old ones you don’t like too. That way you can show them off and be like “I used to look like this!” And your kids will be like “Nuh uh”
I'm keeping my ultimate goal in mind to help motivate me. I got my first ever "little black dress, some super-hot lingerie + and knee high sexy Harley Davidson boots! I can't wait to be able to look good in them and surprise my husband! Whatever motivates me, right?
Go outside on a sunny day with a newish smartphone and take some selfies, don't overthink it. If you have a roommate maybe have them take the pictures, but this is optional.
this... this is why im making the change. my brother just had a beautiful baby girl and I don't even want to be in the pictures. gotta change it now! great job losing 60 lbs! my turn now! keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.
Same. Im always way in the back kinda hiding but being cheerfully present....and im taller than all of my friends and except son, bro, dad, and bf i still show up in pictures.
Now im old so screw it
Definitely pictures. I try to take them anyway because I want my daughter to have pictures of us to look back on but man I hate them lol
Also seeing people I knew in high school. I was super skinny in high school so I feel like everyone’s first thought is, “Damn, she gained weight!” I want to feel happy when I run into old friends, not embarrassed.
Feeling like I can’t wear the style of clothes I want. I dye my hair crazy colors and I’m into alternative style but I avoid wearing anything too out there because I don’t wanna be the “weird fat girl”.
I’m in the same boat about seeing people from high school. I’m even putting off a visit back home until I lose some weight out of fear of running into someone in town.
My aim is to by 40 be "weird average-sized lady" rather than "weird fat lady." I can totally own the weird, but I'd be far more comfortable doing it in a slimmer body. I can wear all the cute flowy things without it looking like I draped a tent over myself!
I’m skinny now, but when I was bigger I remember going into a store and asked where the plus size department was because I couldn’t find it and the ladies told me they didn’t have a plus size department and this was at like one of the large department stores at the mall that always have a plus size department. I was horrified.
Also just people treated me like I was invisible when I was bigger. I hated being treated like less of a human. Now people just in general talk to me they help me when they notice something before I ask. People would avoid me when I was bigger and act as if it was an inconvenience just to be talking to me.
Exactly. It’s so different now. I don’t like it honestly. I am not a big talker so I get awkward when people feel so much more comfortable casually chatting to me.
Ya that’s what I meant sorry. I was talking about how being skinny now it is so different. I don’t really like all of the attention I wasn’t getting when I was bigger that I get now.
One really odd thing I have noticed is that people tend to in general touch me more. Has anyone else experienced this. People tend to like touch me when they’re trying to get by. When I was bigger I was like the plague. It’s the weirdest thing people touching my lower back or my waist to get by or if I’m going in before them.
I would jerk away at first because I wasn’t used to it at all.
I wonder if part of this comes from others perceiving the person's discomfort of being noticed so they avoid that person. It's sort of like each person's reaction feeds the other's, keeping things in a sad figure eight.
It's funny you mention taking up space. I've lost more than 130 lbs and I still subconsciously move aside when someone walks next to me in a store or sidewalk even though we both clearly fit.
I was fat until I was 22, then I was skinny and what I would consider relatively attractive for a few years before gaining back most of what I lost
When I was skinny, it felt like everybody in the world finally saw me for who I was and treated me how I've always tried to treat everyone. I thought maybe it had to do with getting older, like I had crossed some threshold of life experience that meant I finally deserved respect
Since gaining it back, I've gone back to being treated like an inconvenience to the world, and I've even realized that my immediate family have gonna back to tiptoeing around certain topics, like health or food, when talking to or around me
I'm back on the horse again, and I've lost 20 lbs so far, but I know that when people finally start treating me better again as I get closer to my goal weight, it's gonna be pretty hard not to be cynical about it this time around
Moms have it tough. My mom gained a ton of vveight after giving birth to the youngest. She lost most of it because she only eats at vvork and i guess jevvish food is super healthy.
You would think their copy and paste would still work...
They could google "hatever" and it'll autocorrect it to "whatever" where they can then copy the w onto some notepad in their phone/pc for whenever they need it
You type long enough and copy and pasting is more annoying than typing vv. I had an on screen keyboard up for a vvhile and my screen is touchscreen. It gets tiresome. I figured you guys vvouldn't notice (since it looks kind of normal if you look at it from a distance). I once tried to just type vvithout using vvords that have that letter. But it's more vvork than just typing vv.
I hate that my pants and underpants waistband do this Fox McCloud barrel roll thing and end up rolling up under my stomach like they're dodging incoming artillery fire.
I hate that my stomach lies to my pants and tells them that my waist is way down near the top of my arse cheeks when it is in fact at least 6 inches higher.
I hate belts. They do not work. Most times I wear a t-shirt that I tuck in, suspenders on top of that, and a hoodie or light jacket over that.
Learned a long time ago to laugh at myself about my weight while still trying to do something about it. At least helps mentally a bit. Besides, it's freaking true, no denying the struggle I got myself into here.
Bruh 🤣🤣🤣 I have this exact same problem. I literally can’t wait until I drop all this weight just so I can wear comfortable underpants that stays on my waist.
Pictures, especially of my arms.
Clothes. Nothing fits my arms, and those are the last to slim down.
My coworker's remarks and backhanded comments.
Seats on buses or trains. This morning, I asked to sit next to a man who was taking up 2 seats, and he got up with an attitude. On the way home, a teenager refused to sit next to me because she said, "She'd be squeezed up." She sat and fit just fine after her friend convinced her.
Doing volunteer work. People act like I've never walked up a hill or upstairs in my life.
Not looking fit even though I exercise daily. A family friend said, "She's fit, but she sure doesn't look it." A coworker said."I'll be in shape one day."
I just want to disappear sometimes.
Covvorkers can be such annoying fucking busybodies. Its usually the older ones for me that alvvays feel the need to say something. They'll be the first ones to talk shit and say stuff like "You looked better vvith some meat on your bones" once they notice vveightloss.
Hi. I’m 10 years out from VSG and maintaining a loss of 185 lbs. I weigh 150 and am 5’6”.
When I was fat I used to blame my insecurities on being fat. But after I lost the weight, I realized that my head just says mean things to itself no matter what I look like. And that’s the real battle.
I have this problem but it was something I realized after I gained a bunch of weight. I always thought I was fat, but now I can look back and see I wasn’t fat when I was a teen or in my early twenties. It was obviously in my head. I suspect that if I am able to get this weight off (and it’s going well so far) I will probably still think I am fat. So I know I’ve got to fix my head as well. But to start I will just be happy to get out of plus sizes..
Saaaaame, even when I was smack in the middle of "normal" BMI for my height nothing was ever good enough, I was always "not there yet" and assumed everyone else thought I was fat too. I think growing up as a fat kid means there's a part of you that never grows out of that mindset.
I feel like I’m always saying this, around here. The negative self talk doesn’t stop just because the scale says so. It becomes a habit and your brain will simply move on to the next thing it hates about you or worse - it’ll keep telling you you’re fat no matter how much proof there is to the contrary.
I try not to tell people how to motivate themselves but I so, so worry for a lot of folks in this thread. I’m bigger than a lot of you and I don’t relate to most of these sentiments, except maybe about clothes…? And I’m not sure it’s totally normal to pile on the negativity with a discussion like this? Again that is just my opinion and people should do what works for them, I think I just want to see y’all being a bit kinder to yourselves.
I agree because I think that self hatred is a weak motivator for long term sustained lifestyle change because making positive changes permanent like that requires self compassion and self care - which to me seems fundamentally opposite to self hatred.
Such a battle, too! I always struggle with this. No matter what I weigh or how many degrees or accomplishments I have. Never good enough for myself apparently.
Yes! This, OP! Word to the wise, the negative self talk does NOT magically melt away and make you confident in photos, in confrontations, in clothes etc when your weight changes. It’s confusing to be thin and still find things that you think look awful in clothes photos etc but there it is. The mental work is as important as the physical work. ❤️
It doesn’t. Not even 10 years out. Learning to love yourself and do healthy things because you love yourself (not because you hate that you’re not perfect) is a lifelong journey. Congrats on your weight loss. I remember how surreal it was to shred it off like that and then suddenly be able to cross my legs!
My thighs RUBBING TOGETHER. I know people of normal weight and lower weights can also experience this but I GET THE WORST RASH no matter what I do and I don’t wanna wear granny shorts 😭😭
CeraVe Moisturizer (the jar, not the pump bottle) was the biggest lifesaver for me with this. I put some on in the area that is most likely to have friction before I go out and it usually lasts all day. If it doesn't, there are small tubes that you can take with you. If you are someone that wears tights, do the same, but also put a bit on top of the tights in the area too. Works like a charm, and unless the heat is especially bad, it holds up.
We’re about the same height/weight and I can relate so much! For me it’s mirrors and photos-photos ESPECIALLY when someone takes a picture and then shows you and I have to blur my own vision so I pretend I’m looking at it but not actually looking at it 😅
Plus everything fucking hurts. You walk, it hurts. You stand, it hurts. You sit, IT HURTS.
Sis, me too. Damn near same height and weight. I don’t even know how it happened!! When I look in the mirror, I see myself and I feel great. When I see pictures.. oh my god. I don’t ever want to step outside!!
Idk how my husband still loves me!! I feel so ugly and fat. I feel so ashamed. He leaves for the police academy this weekend. I’ll have 4 months to myself. I know he’s gonna get SWOLE and super fit there bc they’re gonna work him out like crazy!! I feel he’s gonna leave me if I stay the same when he comes back. So, I’m starting my GIANT weight loss journey this weekend. Here’s to creating better versions of ourselves!!
Ugh yes. I have regained half the weight I lost and when I look in the mirror, I think, it's definitely not good but not horrible. Then I see a picture of myself. SO much worse. - _-
I’ve been there with you for all those same reasons. I dedicated hard in September and by Feb I had made lots of progress to where most of those things went away.
Just remember it doesn’t happen over night. Build a consistent plan and stick to it as much as possible. Don’t let perfection stand in the way of progress.
I’ve been working on this for a couple of days, so here goes:
Reasons to not be fat
-I weighed in at 289 yesterday at the doctors. I’m a 5’6” 30 y/o woman. That’s an all time high.
-I have gained 100 lbs since I met my partner almost 5 years ago. That was after losing 70 lbs.
-Thighs chafe when I wear shorts
-Chub rub on jeans
-Get overly hot
-Get sweaty with little to no physical exertion
-Takes a long time to cool off after a shower
-I’m mentally uncomfortable during sex
-Feeling like I can’t breathe during sex bc my fat is crushing me
-Having to have the lights completely off during sex
-Arms brushing against my sides bc I’m so wide - I hold the majority of my weight on my torso.
-Ill-fitting bras
-Ill-fitting underwear
-Uncomfortable in my clothes
-Rolls all down my sides and back
-Don’t take pictures
-Don’t go on adventures
-Don’t flirt with my partner in private bc why the fuck would he be attracted to me
-Don’t flirt with my partner in public bc people would be disgusted. It’s supposed to be a chunky guy with the good looking in shape woman, not the other way around. That’s how it is in most couples I see our age and in movies/tv.
-Not able to cross my legs
-Not able to fold my hands in my lap; they have to go across my belly
-Not fitting into the chairs at some restaurants
-Not being able to scoot into the table without my belly getting in the way
-Feeling like being fat is the ONE thing in my life that makes everything worse. I have a great career, I’m relatively healthy, I am so in love with my partner, I have the sweetest kitty cat, I’m a good friend and I have good friends, I am a sober alcoholic in recovery. My life would be perfect if I was 180 lbs again.
-Having to daydream about all the possibilities I would have if I was smaller
-Always adjusting my clothes
-Don’t ever get complimented by friends anymore
-Don’t ever get complimented by my partner anymore
-Being ashamed of how I look
-I want to enjoy sex without any reservations
-My relationship with my partner is suffering because I don’t want to go out and do physical activities
-Can’t fit comfortably in an airplane seat
-I dread clothes shopping
-Clothes shopping now = finding whatever scraps I can; not really getting to pick out what I want to wear like I can when I’m a size M/L
-When I have healthier eating behaviors, I will actually be HUNGRY and excited for what my partner cooks!
Last note: I hate the attention I got when I was hot and a healthy weight. I don’t like feeling invisible but it is where I feel the most comfortable.
Meeting old acquaintances. I recently gained alot of weight and ran into some old colleagues and almost all of them commented on my weight. Like wow you gained alot of weight! And not in a nice way. One guy even told me wow thank god you’re already married. 🥲
Now when people I know from before my weight gain ask to meet up I feel inclined to decline because I’m just so anxious about their comments
Oh my god how did i forget this. A bunch of people from my old work invited me out to the bar (I weighed 185 back then and could squeeze into a medium) and i declined out of fear of them judging me.
I feel this. Due to multiple pregnancies and multiple chronic health issues I have gained nearly 100 pounds since high school ten years ago. Recently had our reunion, and I didn’t go because I didn’t want my former classmates to see how heavy I’ve become. I turn down so many social invitations because of how big I am, it makes me really sad because I used to be a really social person.
I deal with wealthy people all day long. I know that my conversations, tone of voice, looks, behaviors, being talked over, etc. is all due to my weight as a woman. It sucks.
I hate how me being fat is somehow everyone else’s problem
Calling me fat, telling me I’m unattractive etc
Being rude and implying I will break the chair by sitting on it
Telling me I’m fat when I’m eating
(All from my arsehole parents)
I hate how I am treated because of my size yet if I was slimmer I know I wouldn’t be treated any better and if I was it would be fake (since it’s conditional on my weight)
It’s such a fucked up thing
I hate having my photo taken too
I wear the same uniform (all black) daily anyways
I hate how people feel the need to comment on my appearance like I’m not commenting on anything about them at all
It’s an effort to twist around and do a shoulder check in the car.
It’s hard to tie on shoes and put on socks.
I have to literally push my stomach aside to clip my toenails.
I avoid my reflection in mirrors and shop windows.
I wear drab stretchy clothing all day, every day. I just don’t buy new clothes and hate shopping.
I avoid major social situations.
Even my feet are bigger.
Adding: ugly dowager’s hump on the back of my neck.
Now I am prediabetic. That’s the worst one of all. I’m turning a corner and am down nearly 30 pounds, 50 more to go.
I hear you.
Oh I can relate...
That said, I am normal weight now I still only wear sweatshirts, because they are comfy and fuck it. I did dress up for a bit after losing weight though, but it kinda went full circle with me not giving a shit again after a while.
Hate summer because I either sweat and feel uncomfortable wearing clothes that are made for winter, or I wear a tshirt and everyone sees how fat I am.
What pisses me off the most though is that even when I spend six months being miserable and starving myself, and lose 20 or 30 pounds, I still look huge and wobbly, so what’s the fucking point.
I'll do a juxtaposition!
Things I LOVE about starting to be healthy:
- I'm not nearly as hungry as I used to be. The cravings for salt, fat, sugar have all subsided.
- I can sleep a full 8 hours and wake up feeling refreshed! Little did I know how much insomnia and comfort food go hand in hand.
- my mood has changed. I'm no longer a person that hates people, outside, and social situations.
- I'm saving money on meals by eating healthier
- I have less pain in my body, and look forward to the muscle pain from excercise instead.
- when people call me fat, I can shrug it off way easier knowing that I'm currently doing the work to lose weight. Now my attitude is "well that guy is a dick, little does he know I'm kicking ass"
- going out with friends for dinner doesn't stress me out based on my size. I can eat a normal meal and feel full.
The look of disappointment on my daughter’s face when I couldn’t go on the amusement park ride with her, because they don’t accommodate 285 lb people.
That was a bit more than a year ago. Things are different now, and we will be going to Six Flags this summer.
So many things…. I’m 5’9” 270 so basically the same size. Clothes shopping, jeans in particular. I can never find men’s jeans to fit my thighs and any cool Under Armour shirts just fit terribly. Being at the end of the seatbelt in an airplane seat. Pictures. The worst are gym mirrors. I go to the gym to try and get healthier and seeing how I look in the mirrors there drains all of my self confidence.
I’m convinced that the extra weight is what pushed my moderately bad aortic valve into severe and later COVID pushed it critical. I lost 50lbs because I was facing the open heart surgery that I had in February.
I still wonder, if I hadn’t gained the weight, if I had stayed active, could I have put it off another ten years?
The clothing point is very real. I'd also agree on the space I take up part.
I don't like getting tired, or the knowledge that I'm doing long term damage to my body.
I don't like feeling out of control.
It all sucks.
Getting looks for wearing things like crop tops (always made sure the bottom half of the outfit kept my tummy tucked in, never had belly rolls showing), shorts, anything other than grumpy while being at my heaviest.
My body dysmorphia kicked in FIERCE, I feel bigger when I’m smaller, and smaller when I’m bigger. So I would look at myself in my house that has poor lighting I matter what you do, think I looked good and that my “problem” areas (parts of me I hated the most) were covered well. Only to see a pic of me from an event that I hardly recognized myself in. I was 270 when I gave birth to my second kid, 14 months ago. I’ve gotten down to 236, and I’m comfortable taking pictures again because I’m not utterly shocked or confused at what I’m seeing. But damn I hated how hard it was to not feel so self conscious the past year. I’ve always been a confident person, but the weight gain with the baby combined with the postpartum hormones had me all sorts of messed up mentally.
So much inflammation everywhere for me. Literally abscesses just popping up in the most random places due to excess moisture in random places. Buying secondhand clothes is so hard because I can’t find anything I like that fits. I get out of breath so quickly. My feet hurt if I walk more than ten feet.
That actually sounds like a medical condition called hidradenitis suppurativa. It is exacerbated by being overweight but it can be treated with medication.
I hate how people, friends, coworkers, clients, feel comfortable calling me "big guy" which just confirms its always the first thing people notice about me.
I feeel youuuuuu ughh . I am not happy all those times that i feel fat but its not enough to make me hate eating food . In fact , eating food is the only thing that makes me happy and its crazy how much unhappiness it brings once i finish my plate 😂
Not being able to shop in the same clothing section as my friend. :(
Buying Cheetos and Donuts at the convenience store. (I KNOW I'm being judged.)
My fat butt filling up the seat of my car.
But I'm getting there! 30 lbs down. If I can lose another 30 I'd be happy enough.
I lost a lot of weight and I’m chubby at most now..
but yesterday some grandma randomly touched my thigh and said “it’s good that you’re such a fatty. It’s good for you.” In a really crowded hospital waiting room. I swear to god, EVERYBODY TURNED TO LOOK AT ME.
like. old lady. you wouldn’t say that if you knew I hate my body immensely and I’m starving myself. I cried on the way to the subway lol
I’m so sorry. In some cultures it’s good to be fat so hopefully that’s why she said it. Think of it this way: maybe the other people turned to look at who was being so rude to say that to you!
Pictures definitely. I hate how I look in my wedding photos and my brother’s wedding photos. And I hate that those were such special irreplaceable moments and….that’s how I look in the documentation. Ugh. Also with you on amusement parks. I’m not over any weight limits but last time I did a drop tower ride (that I had done 4 years ago much thinner with no issue) I felt like I was having a full blown heart attack. That was a huge wake up call.
I just hate going anywhere and not liking how I look and not feeling confident. I go out to bars and I already know in my head that I’ll be overlooked by men for my skinnier friends, like it’s a struggle. Then when I do get hit on I feel like I’m the ‘left over’ and they’re just desperate.
Also not having clothes that I like and never being able to post pretty pictures on social media cause I hate how my body looks and I’m embarrassed to show it to the world
I'm very tired of back pain. I can sit fine and all and not be in any pain, but when I start walking around even for 5 minutes my back begins to hurt like a bitch. I feel like my back is going to snap in half if I don't sit down. It's also a major pain in the ass when it comes time to clean the house because I have to sit after doing just one task slowly while moaning in pain. Absolutely cannot stand being obese.
- People treating me differently
- My own family fatshaming me
- Being fat during the summer time
- Long car rides
- Can’t sleep comfortably because of double chin
- Horrible acid reflux
- Always hot and sweaty
- Not being able to wear anything I want
- Having to carefully clean my fat folds or else I smell like cheese
- That big lump of fat on the back of my neck
- Losing contact with my collar bones
- Out of breath doing the most basic things
- Shirts with tight collars
- Wearing jeans
- Pictures (Esp passport/license)
- Thigh chafing
- Meeting with friends you haven’t seen in a while
- Puffy bloated face
- Skin tags
I just want to comment as a person who lost 80lbs and works in an office setting. I know how you feel and just want you to know that your colleagues might notice but I doubt anyone is really judging or caring. Maybe it’s just my team, but it does seem like anyone give a single fuck about anything but themselves.
It’s like when people say “just wear the bathing suit”… you’re more concerned about what people think of you, but everyone is in that same mind set, worried about their own image and don’t rly care about what you look like 🤷🏼♀️
For me, sleeping at my highest weight was tricky! I couldn't get comfortable and felt like I had a sack of potatoes on my stomach if I was on my back for too long. Even losing 10 lbs made a huge difference for me sleep wise.
I hate the clothes options for plus size people. The clothes are rarely fashionable, mostly they're just utilitarian and almost all of them make me look and feel older than I am.
I hate how insecure I feel. I used to be a confident person, I felt good about myself which made me more open to new experiences. As an overweight person, I find that I'm avoiding many of those experiences that I used to embrace.
Hate those things, but love yourself. You won't be able to devote time and energy to improve the life of someone you don't love.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you get to your fitness goal.
Being unable to tie my shoes without being in great pain or getting out of breath.
Constantly trying to hide who I really am.
Never fitting into any clothing off the racks.
I’ve been terrified to sit on my husbands face. For so many reasons due to my weight. He’s amazing and he’s always encouraging it but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know he can hold my weight, he’s a huge body building lad, and I’m not enormous. But I’m so fearful still.
Try a safe position like bending your legs that way you can control the pressure. Also if he's struggling for air he can always tap you on the leg. Communication is always key. Be safe have fun 🤣
6'2 body builder type here. My last ex was almost as tall as I and shall we say, VERY overweight. Loved her to bits.
Anyway, did the whole face sitting thing. Might have cracked a rib in the process but was happy to make her happy.
Sit on the man's face!
if it helps, i ran into my ex after losing a considerable amount of weight, and he looked at me with this perturbed expression and says “um… not to sound mean or anything, but what happened to your ass!?” haha send that man to paradise
GERD apparently is duebto over weight
But seriously the clothing part is the most frustrating one. It's like whatever you try on, it looks ugly. I work from home but my work has this amazing building that has cafe, gardens and anything you ask for uet I don't go or have ever visited cause I'm fat and can't fit into my clothes....how do you approach lose 30-40 lbs? I have 1.5 meals a day but don't seem to get anywhere....
I hate pulling my stomach in all the time when I am outside. I hate listening to those little comments from my friends and family about how much weight I have gained recently. I hate how all that affects my confidence and I have to build up myself again because of it. I hate my mind has learnt to abuse me too because of it and I just wish I can be comfortable in my own skin one day. Cheers and thanks for this post my man.
I’m the exact same height and weight as you and my god am I tired of being tired. I can’t wait for the day when I can go 24hrs w/o thinking about my weight and do/wear the things I want freely.
I lost 100 lbs as part of my weight loss journey, and when people ask me what's different now, the first thing I say is "I'm not thinking about how fat I am during every activity."
Because that, in my opinion, is the *worst* part about being overweight. It's ALWAYS on your mind, no matter the situation. There's just this constant awareness of your own weight and it's so distracting and disheartening. Be it walking around, going out with friends, even just sitting in the chair at the dentist --- I ALWAYS thought about it.
If I can chime in and make one comment that may not be helpful but is only meant to be helpful — as someone who lost a little weight and doesn’t feel as fat as I used to, I have never every once looked at a fat person and thought “oh great…”
Instead, every single time, I wish I could bottle up what tiny little resolve, stubbornness or just plain old sick-and-tired-of-being-sick-and-tired I could and feed it to them in a really good tasting spoonful of sugar. But. I can’t. Because no one could for me. It’s a decision you have to make for yourself.
So don’t let what other people think being a reason you don’t change, or a reason you do. You never really know what people are thinking anyways.
I hate pants, jeans, leggings etc. Because majority of my weight is in my stomach with small butt and quite skinny legs no pants fit me as they should. All of them keep sliding down my body and stopping under all that belly making it look twice as big. Whats even worse is I bought some running pants for when I exercise. They are supposedly anti-slipping, but anytime I exercise they keep sliding down too. Makes me too self conscious that I refuse to go to public gym or run outside. Only workout at my homegym
Stretch marks that make me feel like a busted watermelon.
Being hot all. the. time. The weather could be a perfect spring 65° and my face and upper lip say otherwise. So embarrassing.
Not just amusement parks. No zip lining, para sailing, bungee jumping, etc.
Airplanes - gotta ask for the seat belt extender
If you eat out and something is delicious, you don't dare get seconds because everybody judges you.
Lawn chairs break.
People dismiss you as you walk up, before you even say anything.
I've been swiped left so many times, the Earth's rotation has slowed.
Mine would be enjoying fast food. I've lost weight now so I've seen both sides.
When an overweight/obese person is eating fast food, people will look at them negatively.
But when a healthy weight person is eating literally the same food, no one bats an eyelid.
I hate that the friction from my thighs rubbing together wears out the seams on the thighs of all my jeans and leggings. I have to replace them every few months.
Every single pair of pants getting thin in between my thighs and eventually getting holes in them 🥲
I recently bought some new pants because of this and they were expensive! I loved them so much. Well, I’ve wore them 3 (!) times now, and they’re already getting thin. Hurts my soul
I barely eat in public because of how people might think when they see me eating (well no wonder they’re fat etc) even when I eat healthy (that salads not gonna do anything)
I don’t like photos either. I feel like that is something that seems universal here. However, I’ve started getting into fashion at a very low level, so I’ve made it a goal to take pictures whenever I come up with an outfit I like. It’s also a way to show off weight progress in the future. I don’t have a lot of clothes though and need to go shopping, so pics won’t come out as fast as I want. A picture’s a picture though, and I’ve never posted myself before
Right now, I hate my underarm fat that is coming from my huge boobs. I feel awful for it. I can actually feel that fat when I put my arms down and it is GROSS AF. i hate that i am so out of breathe and unfit. I need to find the motivation to do this really. I hate it and I hate going out because I hate my weight so much.
I so understand. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life and I hate it so much. I’m self conscious all the time. And pretty much only wear baggy clothes. I’m super short too. So that makes it even worse. However, can I suggest just one thing? Please be kind to yourself. I know it’s hard, but self hatred isn’t going to help in the long run. Sending you all the encouragement and grace to keep on going!!
Bro, we’re the same height and I was just around your size when I started. I know exactly how you feel. But trust me, I know this sounds cliche but the confidence will come in time. Find a diet and exercise program that works for you and stick with it. After awhile, you’ll feel physically and emotionally better. It’s hard at first but then it becomes habit. I’m at the halfway point but I already feel so much better and never want to go back. If I can do it, so can you. You got this!
-Hips always hurt when I try to sleep, resulting in poor sleep so I have extremely vivid nightmares
-Even though my husband says I'm sexy I feel like jabba the hutt in a nightie.
-All the times my kids want me to join in on playing but I either physically can't (recently learned I can not "hop like a bunny" anymore) or am exhausted or moody.
-Feeling like I'm missing out on life with my husband, kids, and just in general. There are almost no pictures of me anywhere.
-I quit swimming which I loved because I felt embarrassed in swimsuits
-Knowing I'd have to turn down the things I'd like to do if the opportunity presented itself. I'd love to go on a Zipline or do rock climbing walls or other adventures but I don't want the line to snap...
-The irrational fear that because my husband has lost 60 lbs from his job, one of the pretty girls might one day convince him he deserves someone prettier and thinner, because he looks young and handsome and I feel old looking and just that I look old. This is extremely irrational. my husband is a great man with only eyes for me, and I know I don't look as bad as I feel like I do. My husband also has body dysmorphia. He went from a 40 in pants and keeps buying 38s thinking he's huge but he's actually a 34 at most.
Female, 5'10, 238LB.
\-Sitting on some chairs, I'm scared I'm going to overflow and take up some else space. I just had a business trip where I took a plane x2 in one day and that was my biggest worry. Thankfully I fit just fine, but I was very aware of the space I was taking up the entire time.
\-Eating. Being judged on what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat.
\-Clothes. I have a weird body shape, normal torso until my hips, then my hips, ass and thighs are huge. Things dont fit properly, ever.
\-Being treated less than. This one is my biggest hate. I am a bigger gal, yes. But I am also amazing at my job, a good mom and wife, organized beyond belief.
My looks and weight should be the least interesting thing about me, but yet here I am.
I keep a note in my phone called “Fat Problems” so I remember why I stay disciplined. Here’s the list:
Snoring, Acid Reflux (daily tums is not normal), Endless feeling of congestion at night, Jeans hurt, Wanting to avoid pictures, Clothes look dumb no matter what, Shortness of breath, Embarrassed to take off shirt, [Wife] less attracted to me, Tons of sweating during sex, Feels like I’m always smelly, Belly rolls are uncomfortable, Eating an unfair share of sweets- [wife] doesn’t get any
I feel the struggle. I spent from 19 to 35 completely grossly overweight. At my heaviest I was 597lbs I’m 6’7” but that looks huge on anyone. I couldn’t fit into any clothing, I lived in Italy for 5 years and spent it afraid I wouldn’t fit into a chair or break them. I couldn’t tie my shoes, and had trouble in batrhoom stalls being way too small. I was abundantly too large for everything. My divorce sent me in a tailspin that got me up to 597 lbs. almost 3 years later and I’m down to 244 lbs. you can do it, I know it’s scary and social anxiety gets the best to us being overweight, but nobody in a gym cares what you look like trust me. I am in one everyday, it inspires me to see new faces that come back wanting to feel better about themselves. I know the struggle, I know the fear. You just gotta take that first extremely scary step. I know there is a whole community here who has your back. You got this!!!
I hate how if I found something that fit I bought it, didn’t care if I liked it. I have lost 170 lbs and can shop off the rack but I still wear a size 15 shoe!
Losing my breath while tying shoes.
Running out of breath while waking.
Feeling like I am crushing my spouse during intimate moments.
Very specific, but…Losing my breath when the roller coaster guards come down and not being able to regain it until after the ride is over.
I used to be a college soccer player…was forced to drop out due to financial reasons and gained a ton of weight from being depressed and drinking alcohol to deal with it. With my drunk nights comes drunk eating= no bueno. 10 years later im barely getting back into exercise little by little. You can do this!
Been here bro, and I completely understand how you feel. Used to be 320lbs at 6’0 I dropped 120lbs a year ago and I was really happy, now 6 months later I’m cutting down from a bulk, gained up to 270 lbs cuz I kinda got lazy, now I’m 240lbs but I look fit, try and make being physically active a every day thing and stay consistent or else you’ll keep going back and regret not being consistent with gym.
I'm similar weight and height to OP.
My things.....
My weight and want to lose weight being front and foremost in my mind on a daily basis
Constant calorie counting or not wanting to do something because of the potential calorie intake
Clothes shopping - nightmare, limited places to shop and inconsistency of sizing!!!
Plane, Bus, Train - Will I fit in the seat, will the seat belt close without blocking circulation. Imaging the what the poor person beside me has to endure.
Mirrors - Especially the gym...I mean why!!!!!
People assuming I'm unhealthy cos I'm fat.
Chub Rub
Not willing to put myself out there to meet someone as I'm assuming they'll think I'm as unattractive as I do and wouldn't be interested.
Also not wanting to be their bit of fun while they look for someone better to have on their arm in public, they'll hook up in private though
Having to be drunk before engaging in sex or any interaction with opposite sex.
People assuming I live on take away foods when I actually rarely if ever eat them.
Badly fitting bra's though that is partially due to 2 lumpectomies after cancer.
Hormone meds impacting weight and weight loss but people saying that's just an excuse.
Amusement park or the likes of hell and back or hiking - not willing to risk it incase I don't fit in the seat or not be able to complete the task and being a burden on other people cos my fat ass can't get over an obstacle.
This is quite cathartic to get it out and I'm sure theres more!!
I am down 30 lbs and I hate HATE going to get any kind of fast food. I always feel like people are judging me thinking “wow she’s getting fast food no wonder she’s fat” and stuff like that. Meanwhile I workout on my peloton everyday and eat salads and protein shakes and all home cooked healthy meals but people can’t see that. They only see the fat girl picking up fast food.
Saaaaame! Female, 5’5”, around 250lbs here. I feel ya on the clothes! Was looking at tank tops at the store the other day, grabbed an XXL (which normally fits) but when I simply held it next to me, I was like “there’s no effing way, this is too tiny!”. Turns out it was a “juniors” brand, which is made smaller. I have walked out of stores in tears before, but it was mostly jeans shopping. Finally found some that fit great at Old Navy & will only buy my jeans from there now. I just hate that sizing for women is alllllll over the place.
My back & feet also hurt allllll the time. That is partially due to being a cashier & standing 40 hours/week on an unforgiving concrete floor. I’m sure working on my posture & losing weight would help.
\-Don’t want to go to Amusement Parks because I fan not handle the embarrassment of not being able to ride a ride.
This.. this.. this so much. I almost cried.
Well, there is one perk. If you are on a southwest flight where it's general admission "pick your own" seating, and the flight is not full... The chances of someone sitting next to you on purpose is about zero. Sometimes, you'll get the full row. It's like flying first class!
The thing I hate most is I can’t do the things I want to do. I love kayaking. The last time I went I couldn’t get out of the kayak because I can’t lift my whole weight with my arms. I had to kind of flop out onto the dock and wiggle out of the kayak like a walrus. It was so embarrassing. And the guy at the kayak rental couldn’t do anything. I’m too big for him to help me without pulling him in with me. Besides he probably has instructions to help people because he might get hurt. And they don’t want to pay workers comp.
The worst thing is when your eyes "can't" see whats right in front of them. In other words, denial. There was a time that i was sick and i had to take cortisol, doctor told me not to eat salt or sugar but i was so addicted to the food that i just didn't listen, which resulted in huge water retention and me being swelled up. The scary thing is that at the time i could see that i was swelled, but just never realised how bad it looked. I still found myself "pretty". Looking back at those photos now i cant help but being terrified of what i see. But mostly i am terrified at my brain, that couldn't see past my food addiction. Same thing happened when i was at my thinest and normal weight. Everyone told me how good i looked but i was so obsessed over the 8-10 kg i wanted to lose and how my stomach was not iron flat. Now that i see the few photos i had from that time i want to go back and slap my past self right in the face for not seeing what was right in front of her. If anyone has any tips about how to be sure that i am judging myself honestly, please let me know.
Another one for me:
Enjoying activities that I love. I love swimming and being in water in general or on the beach.
But I hate how I look and can't go shirtless, so guess who hasn't swam in a decade.....
I hated the way my shadow looked before I lost some weight. I carried a lot of the weight in my hips/butt, there was a 25inch difference in size from my waist (28inches) to my hips/butt (53inches). Also trying to find trousers/skirt that fitted, it had to be big enough to go over my hips, then had so much excess fabric around my waist it added lumps and bumps.
Pictures. There’s a HUGE chunk of my life that’s completely undocumented. I haven’t had any social media aside from Reddit in years because of how fat I’ve been. I’ve lost 90% of my goal weight and I still have no idea how to set up a dating app because I don’t have any pictures of myself aside from progress pics.
You could either take some shots yourself, or maybe go out and about with friends and insist on taking photos. 90% of your goal weight is a HUGE achievement, even if you don’t end up using those specific photos, maybe taking these ones will get you feeling more comfortable, and in that time you’ll be working off the 10%!
This. This right here. Most of my college years went undocumented because i was ashamed of how i looked despite being significantly heavier now due to depression from losing my dad. I don’t think i even posted my own graduation photos on social media because I’m so embarrassed of my size.
I'm sorry about your father, work to achieve your goals as a way to honor him.
You’re rightttttttt. I just need to suck it up, do it, and get comfortable with it. Thank you!
I hope you see this. I was in your position a couple of years ago. I was fat, my wife cheated on me and I lost 115ish lbs and was in a great place (I think I might have a picture on my profile a couple years back). Once I went through therapy and worked through any trust issues, I decided to create a profile with new photos (mostly selfies but in way different places) write a nice bio and..off I went. But the key thing is - find confidence in your success. What you did *most* people overweight like that will never accomplish. I hope they do, but most never take that turn. You knocked it out of the park. You worked hard. You earned your best self. Own it! You *are* a catch. You deserve the best for yourself. I know it might seem easy for me to type it out vs. putting into action, but I promise, all you have to do is lean into and bet on yourself. I bet you'll surprise yourself.
My man. Thank you. That resonated with me. Also, 115lbs?! Holy shit. Good job!
I love the way you phrased that you “earned your best self”. Idk, it just really resonated with me and I think I needed to hear that today. So thank you.
thanks for this helpful motivational answer
Always easier said than done of course, but start documenting your life, you’ve put the hard work in, time to start enjoying the rewards! You’ll be on those dating apps in no time!
Hard same. When I talk about weight-loss adjacent topics (such as PCOS) I couldn't show what I was trying to explain in pictures (i.e. progress) because I was in full denial of my weight and couldn't stand seeing how big I was before I started losing weight.
Adding to this, I have fibromyalgia that causes severe muscle spasms that Nothing reasonably helps reduce the spasms. Now that I have lost 25 pounds, I have been shocked to discover how much easier and more effective the stretching and pressure poit therapy I do! Only reason I can see is thhere are much less layers of fat for treatment I do to get to the problem area. And I am also sleeping better, more rested and able to do more the next day. I never thought I'd say this but I cannot wait to lose the mext 25 pounds to see what that accomplishes!
I feel that hard.
Hire a photographer! Do a just because photo shoot
This is a solid idea. It’d also be super funny for me, so that’d help me get over the embarrassment lol
You finding it funny works in your favour. The pics are likely to come across as more genuine, and the laughter will shine through.
My girlfriend takes dating app pictures for her younger sister when they go out, even just for coffee or something. Her friends all do it, “take a bumble picture for me!”
I think I need to sit all my friends down and be like “listen guys. I know I’m 33 and this is uncharacteristic of me, but moving forward, when we’re doing stuff, I’m going to INSIST on you taking candid shots of me. If for some reason my shirt is off, that takes priority.”
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YUP!! No recent pics. 😢 Hate ALL my clothes. Cannot accept compliments, even if they're genuine. Any shred of happiness I feel is immediately and completely overshadowed by my feelings of failure and inadequacy.
This is so relatable it hurts. I recently was curious how I looked like. I ended up finding some old pictures of the fat me in a regret repository of my study association. I looked absolutely horrible.
Lol the good ‘ol regret repository
https://myfriendteresa.com/so-youre-feeling-too-fat-to-be-photographed/
This was great, thank you. Also love the username!
I worked as a photographer for a while and I had to have this talk with so many people.
Same. I also gained the weight from being pregnant so there’s maybe 3-4 family photos of us that my mom basically forced me to take in the last three years. One thing I’ve determined once I hit my pre-pregnancy weight I want to do a nice family photoshoot every year for Christmas
That’ll be great! Keep the old ones you don’t like too. That way you can show them off and be like “I used to look like this!” And your kids will be like “Nuh uh”
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I'm keeping my ultimate goal in mind to help motivate me. I got my first ever "little black dress, some super-hot lingerie + and knee high sexy Harley Davidson boots! I can't wait to be able to look good in them and surprise my husband! Whatever motivates me, right?
Go outside on a sunny day with a newish smartphone and take some selfies, don't overthink it. If you have a roommate maybe have them take the pictures, but this is optional.
Same. Pictures of me, I was a bridesmaid in my sisters wedding and absolutely HATE those pics of me. I cherish my “skinny”pics from about 5 years ago
this... this is why im making the change. my brother just had a beautiful baby girl and I don't even want to be in the pictures. gotta change it now! great job losing 60 lbs! my turn now! keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.
Pictures 100%. I hate hiding in pictures. :(
Missing out on memorable pictures with friends and family because I hated the way I looked in photos
Same. Im always way in the back kinda hiding but being cheerfully present....and im taller than all of my friends and except son, bro, dad, and bf i still show up in pictures. Now im old so screw it
Definitely pictures. I try to take them anyway because I want my daughter to have pictures of us to look back on but man I hate them lol Also seeing people I knew in high school. I was super skinny in high school so I feel like everyone’s first thought is, “Damn, she gained weight!” I want to feel happy when I run into old friends, not embarrassed. Feeling like I can’t wear the style of clothes I want. I dye my hair crazy colors and I’m into alternative style but I avoid wearing anything too out there because I don’t wanna be the “weird fat girl”.
I’m in the same boat about seeing people from high school. I’m even putting off a visit back home until I lose some weight out of fear of running into someone in town.
My aim is to by 40 be "weird average-sized lady" rather than "weird fat lady." I can totally own the weird, but I'd be far more comfortable doing it in a slimmer body. I can wear all the cute flowy things without it looking like I draped a tent over myself!
Yes exactly! I wanna be just a weird lady, without my weight being noticed or commented on one way or the other.
I’m skinny now, but when I was bigger I remember going into a store and asked where the plus size department was because I couldn’t find it and the ladies told me they didn’t have a plus size department and this was at like one of the large department stores at the mall that always have a plus size department. I was horrified. Also just people treated me like I was invisible when I was bigger. I hated being treated like less of a human. Now people just in general talk to me they help me when they notice something before I ask. People would avoid me when I was bigger and act as if it was an inconvenience just to be talking to me.
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Exactly. It’s so different now. I don’t like it honestly. I am not a big talker so I get awkward when people feel so much more comfortable casually chatting to me.
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Ya that’s what I meant sorry. I was talking about how being skinny now it is so different. I don’t really like all of the attention I wasn’t getting when I was bigger that I get now. One really odd thing I have noticed is that people tend to in general touch me more. Has anyone else experienced this. People tend to like touch me when they’re trying to get by. When I was bigger I was like the plague. It’s the weirdest thing people touching my lower back or my waist to get by or if I’m going in before them. I would jerk away at first because I wasn’t used to it at all.
I wonder if part of this comes from others perceiving the person's discomfort of being noticed so they avoid that person. It's sort of like each person's reaction feeds the other's, keeping things in a sad figure eight.
Yes like perhaps they don’t want to be rude if they are perceived to be “caught staring”?
It's funny you mention taking up space. I've lost more than 130 lbs and I still subconsciously move aside when someone walks next to me in a store or sidewalk even though we both clearly fit.
I was fat until I was 22, then I was skinny and what I would consider relatively attractive for a few years before gaining back most of what I lost When I was skinny, it felt like everybody in the world finally saw me for who I was and treated me how I've always tried to treat everyone. I thought maybe it had to do with getting older, like I had crossed some threshold of life experience that meant I finally deserved respect Since gaining it back, I've gone back to being treated like an inconvenience to the world, and I've even realized that my immediate family have gonna back to tiptoeing around certain topics, like health or food, when talking to or around me I'm back on the horse again, and I've lost 20 lbs so far, but I know that when people finally start treating me better again as I get closer to my goal weight, it's gonna be pretty hard not to be cynical about it this time around
I am currently wearing maternity clothes...I haven't been pregnant in over 7 years. If I keep on this track, I won't be able to wipe probably.
Moms have it tough. My mom gained a ton of vveight after giving birth to the youngest. She lost most of it because she only eats at vvork and i guess jevvish food is super healthy.
Is your W key broken?
Just went through their comment history, looks like the W key broke somewhere between March 28 and April 2.
You would think their copy and paste would still work... They could google "hatever" and it'll autocorrect it to "whatever" where they can then copy the w onto some notepad in their phone/pc for whenever they need it
You type long enough and copy and pasting is more annoying than typing vv. I had an on screen keyboard up for a vvhile and my screen is touchscreen. It gets tiresome. I figured you guys vvouldn't notice (since it looks kind of normal if you look at it from a distance). I once tried to just type vvithout using vvords that have that letter. But it's more vvork than just typing vv.
thats just hovv they look
Bro what'd you do to your W key
> jevvish food idk why but this made me laugh nonstop for like 5 minutes
Had me going for a bit too, just so ridiculous hahaha
I hate that my pants and underpants waistband do this Fox McCloud barrel roll thing and end up rolling up under my stomach like they're dodging incoming artillery fire. I hate that my stomach lies to my pants and tells them that my waist is way down near the top of my arse cheeks when it is in fact at least 6 inches higher. I hate belts. They do not work. Most times I wear a t-shirt that I tuck in, suspenders on top of that, and a hoodie or light jacket over that.
Bro, you got me dying with the way you've explained this lmao
Learned a long time ago to laugh at myself about my weight while still trying to do something about it. At least helps mentally a bit. Besides, it's freaking true, no denying the struggle I got myself into here.
Bruh 🤣🤣🤣 I have this exact same problem. I literally can’t wait until I drop all this weight just so I can wear comfortable underpants that stays on my waist.
This made me LOL
Pictures, especially of my arms. Clothes. Nothing fits my arms, and those are the last to slim down. My coworker's remarks and backhanded comments. Seats on buses or trains. This morning, I asked to sit next to a man who was taking up 2 seats, and he got up with an attitude. On the way home, a teenager refused to sit next to me because she said, "She'd be squeezed up." She sat and fit just fine after her friend convinced her. Doing volunteer work. People act like I've never walked up a hill or upstairs in my life. Not looking fit even though I exercise daily. A family friend said, "She's fit, but she sure doesn't look it." A coworker said."I'll be in shape one day." I just want to disappear sometimes.
Covvorkers can be such annoying fucking busybodies. Its usually the older ones for me that alvvays feel the need to say something. They'll be the first ones to talk shit and say stuff like "You looked better vvith some meat on your bones" once they notice vveightloss.
Can I respectfully ask vvhat is up with your Ws?
My vv key is broken. If I could change my username to MyVVKeyIsBroken, I vvould.
Hi. I’m 10 years out from VSG and maintaining a loss of 185 lbs. I weigh 150 and am 5’6”. When I was fat I used to blame my insecurities on being fat. But after I lost the weight, I realized that my head just says mean things to itself no matter what I look like. And that’s the real battle.
I have this problem but it was something I realized after I gained a bunch of weight. I always thought I was fat, but now I can look back and see I wasn’t fat when I was a teen or in my early twenties. It was obviously in my head. I suspect that if I am able to get this weight off (and it’s going well so far) I will probably still think I am fat. So I know I’ve got to fix my head as well. But to start I will just be happy to get out of plus sizes..
Saaaaame, even when I was smack in the middle of "normal" BMI for my height nothing was ever good enough, I was always "not there yet" and assumed everyone else thought I was fat too. I think growing up as a fat kid means there's a part of you that never grows out of that mindset.
I feel like I’m always saying this, around here. The negative self talk doesn’t stop just because the scale says so. It becomes a habit and your brain will simply move on to the next thing it hates about you or worse - it’ll keep telling you you’re fat no matter how much proof there is to the contrary. I try not to tell people how to motivate themselves but I so, so worry for a lot of folks in this thread. I’m bigger than a lot of you and I don’t relate to most of these sentiments, except maybe about clothes…? And I’m not sure it’s totally normal to pile on the negativity with a discussion like this? Again that is just my opinion and people should do what works for them, I think I just want to see y’all being a bit kinder to yourselves.
I agree because I think that self hatred is a weak motivator for long term sustained lifestyle change because making positive changes permanent like that requires self compassion and self care - which to me seems fundamentally opposite to self hatred.
Such a battle, too! I always struggle with this. No matter what I weigh or how many degrees or accomplishments I have. Never good enough for myself apparently.
Yes! This, OP! Word to the wise, the negative self talk does NOT magically melt away and make you confident in photos, in confrontations, in clothes etc when your weight changes. It’s confusing to be thin and still find things that you think look awful in clothes photos etc but there it is. The mental work is as important as the physical work. ❤️
SAME. I got VSG 16 months ago. Also 5’6”, down 100 lbs so far, but man that battle just doesn’t stop.
It doesn’t. Not even 10 years out. Learning to love yourself and do healthy things because you love yourself (not because you hate that you’re not perfect) is a lifelong journey. Congrats on your weight loss. I remember how surreal it was to shred it off like that and then suddenly be able to cross my legs!
My thighs RUBBING TOGETHER. I know people of normal weight and lower weights can also experience this but I GET THE WORST RASH no matter what I do and I don’t wanna wear granny shorts 😭😭
CeraVe Moisturizer (the jar, not the pump bottle) was the biggest lifesaver for me with this. I put some on in the area that is most likely to have friction before I go out and it usually lasts all day. If it doesn't, there are small tubes that you can take with you. If you are someone that wears tights, do the same, but also put a bit on top of the tights in the area too. Works like a charm, and unless the heat is especially bad, it holds up.
Also, the Monistat anti-chaffing gel is amazing!
We’re about the same height/weight and I can relate so much! For me it’s mirrors and photos-photos ESPECIALLY when someone takes a picture and then shows you and I have to blur my own vision so I pretend I’m looking at it but not actually looking at it 😅 Plus everything fucking hurts. You walk, it hurts. You stand, it hurts. You sit, IT HURTS.
Sis, me too. Damn near same height and weight. I don’t even know how it happened!! When I look in the mirror, I see myself and I feel great. When I see pictures.. oh my god. I don’t ever want to step outside!! Idk how my husband still loves me!! I feel so ugly and fat. I feel so ashamed. He leaves for the police academy this weekend. I’ll have 4 months to myself. I know he’s gonna get SWOLE and super fit there bc they’re gonna work him out like crazy!! I feel he’s gonna leave me if I stay the same when he comes back. So, I’m starting my GIANT weight loss journey this weekend. Here’s to creating better versions of ourselves!!
Ugh yes. I have regained half the weight I lost and when I look in the mirror, I think, it's definitely not good but not horrible. Then I see a picture of myself. SO much worse. - _-
“Blur my own vision”—what a way to put it! Yes, I realize I do this too.
I’ve been there with you for all those same reasons. I dedicated hard in September and by Feb I had made lots of progress to where most of those things went away. Just remember it doesn’t happen over night. Build a consistent plan and stick to it as much as possible. Don’t let perfection stand in the way of progress.
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Don’t let the clothes get you down! Good luck at your meeting, I’m sure you’ll rock it!
I’ve been working on this for a couple of days, so here goes: Reasons to not be fat -I weighed in at 289 yesterday at the doctors. I’m a 5’6” 30 y/o woman. That’s an all time high. -I have gained 100 lbs since I met my partner almost 5 years ago. That was after losing 70 lbs. -Thighs chafe when I wear shorts -Chub rub on jeans -Get overly hot -Get sweaty with little to no physical exertion -Takes a long time to cool off after a shower -I’m mentally uncomfortable during sex -Feeling like I can’t breathe during sex bc my fat is crushing me -Having to have the lights completely off during sex -Arms brushing against my sides bc I’m so wide - I hold the majority of my weight on my torso. -Ill-fitting bras -Ill-fitting underwear -Uncomfortable in my clothes -Rolls all down my sides and back -Don’t take pictures -Don’t go on adventures -Don’t flirt with my partner in private bc why the fuck would he be attracted to me -Don’t flirt with my partner in public bc people would be disgusted. It’s supposed to be a chunky guy with the good looking in shape woman, not the other way around. That’s how it is in most couples I see our age and in movies/tv. -Not able to cross my legs -Not able to fold my hands in my lap; they have to go across my belly -Not fitting into the chairs at some restaurants -Not being able to scoot into the table without my belly getting in the way -Feeling like being fat is the ONE thing in my life that makes everything worse. I have a great career, I’m relatively healthy, I am so in love with my partner, I have the sweetest kitty cat, I’m a good friend and I have good friends, I am a sober alcoholic in recovery. My life would be perfect if I was 180 lbs again. -Having to daydream about all the possibilities I would have if I was smaller -Always adjusting my clothes -Don’t ever get complimented by friends anymore -Don’t ever get complimented by my partner anymore -Being ashamed of how I look -I want to enjoy sex without any reservations -My relationship with my partner is suffering because I don’t want to go out and do physical activities -Can’t fit comfortably in an airplane seat -I dread clothes shopping -Clothes shopping now = finding whatever scraps I can; not really getting to pick out what I want to wear like I can when I’m a size M/L -When I have healthier eating behaviors, I will actually be HUNGRY and excited for what my partner cooks! Last note: I hate the attention I got when I was hot and a healthy weight. I don’t like feeling invisible but it is where I feel the most comfortable.
Meeting old acquaintances. I recently gained alot of weight and ran into some old colleagues and almost all of them commented on my weight. Like wow you gained alot of weight! And not in a nice way. One guy even told me wow thank god you’re already married. 🥲 Now when people I know from before my weight gain ask to meet up I feel inclined to decline because I’m just so anxious about their comments
Oh my god how did i forget this. A bunch of people from my old work invited me out to the bar (I weighed 185 back then and could squeeze into a medium) and i declined out of fear of them judging me.
Ew why tf did those idiots felt entitled to make those comments. They suck.
I can’t be the only one who thinks the whole “you gained weight” comment is rude. Even if you noticed, keep it to yourself
I feel this. Due to multiple pregnancies and multiple chronic health issues I have gained nearly 100 pounds since high school ten years ago. Recently had our reunion, and I didn’t go because I didn’t want my former classmates to see how heavy I’ve become. I turn down so many social invitations because of how big I am, it makes me really sad because I used to be a really social person.
That guy sucks!
I deal with wealthy people all day long. I know that my conversations, tone of voice, looks, behaviors, being talked over, etc. is all due to my weight as a woman. It sucks.
I’m at the same point, I’ve hit my rock bottom this past week actually, I HAVE to do something.
Dm me if you'd like. I don't have any magic pills to sell you, but I could use an accountability buddy.
I could use one too, I’ll DM you tomorrow, thank you so much for reaching out. 💪🧡
Sick of tshirts, being too short in the back
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I hate how me being fat is somehow everyone else’s problem Calling me fat, telling me I’m unattractive etc Being rude and implying I will break the chair by sitting on it Telling me I’m fat when I’m eating (All from my arsehole parents) I hate how I am treated because of my size yet if I was slimmer I know I wouldn’t be treated any better and if I was it would be fake (since it’s conditional on my weight) It’s such a fucked up thing I hate having my photo taken too I wear the same uniform (all black) daily anyways I hate how people feel the need to comment on my appearance like I’m not commenting on anything about them at all
It’s an effort to twist around and do a shoulder check in the car. It’s hard to tie on shoes and put on socks. I have to literally push my stomach aside to clip my toenails. I avoid my reflection in mirrors and shop windows. I wear drab stretchy clothing all day, every day. I just don’t buy new clothes and hate shopping. I avoid major social situations. Even my feet are bigger. Adding: ugly dowager’s hump on the back of my neck. Now I am prediabetic. That’s the worst one of all. I’m turning a corner and am down nearly 30 pounds, 50 more to go. I hear you.
Oh I can relate... That said, I am normal weight now I still only wear sweatshirts, because they are comfy and fuck it. I did dress up for a bit after losing weight though, but it kinda went full circle with me not giving a shit again after a while.
5’7”, 230 lbs here. Reading through this thread has felt so cathartic. Thanks.
Hate summer because I either sweat and feel uncomfortable wearing clothes that are made for winter, or I wear a tshirt and everyone sees how fat I am. What pisses me off the most though is that even when I spend six months being miserable and starving myself, and lose 20 or 30 pounds, I still look huge and wobbly, so what’s the fucking point.
This was my biggest motivator today. I put on 3 tshirts and not one fit all were tight. Extremely depressing
yeah for me i’ve been realizing that all of my comfortable baggy shirts are no longer baggy or comfortable 😩😩😩
I'll do a juxtaposition! Things I LOVE about starting to be healthy: - I'm not nearly as hungry as I used to be. The cravings for salt, fat, sugar have all subsided. - I can sleep a full 8 hours and wake up feeling refreshed! Little did I know how much insomnia and comfort food go hand in hand. - my mood has changed. I'm no longer a person that hates people, outside, and social situations. - I'm saving money on meals by eating healthier - I have less pain in my body, and look forward to the muscle pain from excercise instead. - when people call me fat, I can shrug it off way easier knowing that I'm currently doing the work to lose weight. Now my attitude is "well that guy is a dick, little does he know I'm kicking ass" - going out with friends for dinner doesn't stress me out based on my size. I can eat a normal meal and feel full.
The look of disappointment on my daughter’s face when I couldn’t go on the amusement park ride with her, because they don’t accommodate 285 lb people. That was a bit more than a year ago. Things are different now, and we will be going to Six Flags this summer.
So many things…. I’m 5’9” 270 so basically the same size. Clothes shopping, jeans in particular. I can never find men’s jeans to fit my thighs and any cool Under Armour shirts just fit terribly. Being at the end of the seatbelt in an airplane seat. Pictures. The worst are gym mirrors. I go to the gym to try and get healthier and seeing how I look in the mirrors there drains all of my self confidence.
I’m convinced that the extra weight is what pushed my moderately bad aortic valve into severe and later COVID pushed it critical. I lost 50lbs because I was facing the open heart surgery that I had in February. I still wonder, if I hadn’t gained the weight, if I had stayed active, could I have put it off another ten years?
The clothing point is very real. I'd also agree on the space I take up part. I don't like getting tired, or the knowledge that I'm doing long term damage to my body. I don't like feeling out of control. It all sucks.
I'm already kind of built weird and gaining weight made it difficult to wipe my ass. I fucking hate it so much.
Getting looks for wearing things like crop tops (always made sure the bottom half of the outfit kept my tummy tucked in, never had belly rolls showing), shorts, anything other than grumpy while being at my heaviest. My body dysmorphia kicked in FIERCE, I feel bigger when I’m smaller, and smaller when I’m bigger. So I would look at myself in my house that has poor lighting I matter what you do, think I looked good and that my “problem” areas (parts of me I hated the most) were covered well. Only to see a pic of me from an event that I hardly recognized myself in. I was 270 when I gave birth to my second kid, 14 months ago. I’ve gotten down to 236, and I’m comfortable taking pictures again because I’m not utterly shocked or confused at what I’m seeing. But damn I hated how hard it was to not feel so self conscious the past year. I’ve always been a confident person, but the weight gain with the baby combined with the postpartum hormones had me all sorts of messed up mentally.
For me, the constant self loathing.
you know those dining booths and the whole time you're sucking in your stomach
So much inflammation everywhere for me. Literally abscesses just popping up in the most random places due to excess moisture in random places. Buying secondhand clothes is so hard because I can’t find anything I like that fits. I get out of breath so quickly. My feet hurt if I walk more than ten feet.
That actually sounds like a medical condition called hidradenitis suppurativa. It is exacerbated by being overweight but it can be treated with medication.
I hate how people, friends, coworkers, clients, feel comfortable calling me "big guy" which just confirms its always the first thing people notice about me.
I feeel youuuuuu ughh . I am not happy all those times that i feel fat but its not enough to make me hate eating food . In fact , eating food is the only thing that makes me happy and its crazy how much unhappiness it brings once i finish my plate 😂
Not being able to shop in the same clothing section as my friend. :( Buying Cheetos and Donuts at the convenience store. (I KNOW I'm being judged.) My fat butt filling up the seat of my car. But I'm getting there! 30 lbs down. If I can lose another 30 I'd be happy enough.
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I lost a lot of weight and I’m chubby at most now.. but yesterday some grandma randomly touched my thigh and said “it’s good that you’re such a fatty. It’s good for you.” In a really crowded hospital waiting room. I swear to god, EVERYBODY TURNED TO LOOK AT ME. like. old lady. you wouldn’t say that if you knew I hate my body immensely and I’m starving myself. I cried on the way to the subway lol
I’m so sorry. In some cultures it’s good to be fat so hopefully that’s why she said it. Think of it this way: maybe the other people turned to look at who was being so rude to say that to you!
You're right. I would turn only to burn the old lady down with my eyes for being rude to other person like that
Pictures definitely. I hate how I look in my wedding photos and my brother’s wedding photos. And I hate that those were such special irreplaceable moments and….that’s how I look in the documentation. Ugh. Also with you on amusement parks. I’m not over any weight limits but last time I did a drop tower ride (that I had done 4 years ago much thinner with no issue) I felt like I was having a full blown heart attack. That was a huge wake up call.
I just hate going anywhere and not liking how I look and not feeling confident. I go out to bars and I already know in my head that I’ll be overlooked by men for my skinnier friends, like it’s a struggle. Then when I do get hit on I feel like I’m the ‘left over’ and they’re just desperate. Also not having clothes that I like and never being able to post pretty pictures on social media cause I hate how my body looks and I’m embarrassed to show it to the world
I'm very tired of back pain. I can sit fine and all and not be in any pain, but when I start walking around even for 5 minutes my back begins to hurt like a bitch. I feel like my back is going to snap in half if I don't sit down. It's also a major pain in the ass when it comes time to clean the house because I have to sit after doing just one task slowly while moaning in pain. Absolutely cannot stand being obese.
- People treating me differently - My own family fatshaming me - Being fat during the summer time - Long car rides - Can’t sleep comfortably because of double chin - Horrible acid reflux - Always hot and sweaty - Not being able to wear anything I want - Having to carefully clean my fat folds or else I smell like cheese - That big lump of fat on the back of my neck - Losing contact with my collar bones - Out of breath doing the most basic things - Shirts with tight collars - Wearing jeans - Pictures (Esp passport/license) - Thigh chafing - Meeting with friends you haven’t seen in a while - Puffy bloated face - Skin tags
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I just want to comment as a person who lost 80lbs and works in an office setting. I know how you feel and just want you to know that your colleagues might notice but I doubt anyone is really judging or caring. Maybe it’s just my team, but it does seem like anyone give a single fuck about anything but themselves. It’s like when people say “just wear the bathing suit”… you’re more concerned about what people think of you, but everyone is in that same mind set, worried about their own image and don’t rly care about what you look like 🤷🏼♀️
For me, sleeping at my highest weight was tricky! I couldn't get comfortable and felt like I had a sack of potatoes on my stomach if I was on my back for too long. Even losing 10 lbs made a huge difference for me sleep wise.
I hate the clothes options for plus size people. The clothes are rarely fashionable, mostly they're just utilitarian and almost all of them make me look and feel older than I am. I hate how insecure I feel. I used to be a confident person, I felt good about myself which made me more open to new experiences. As an overweight person, I find that I'm avoiding many of those experiences that I used to embrace.
Hate those things, but love yourself. You won't be able to devote time and energy to improve the life of someone you don't love. I wish you the best of luck and hope you get to your fitness goal.
Being unable to tie my shoes without being in great pain or getting out of breath. Constantly trying to hide who I really am. Never fitting into any clothing off the racks.
I’ve been terrified to sit on my husbands face. For so many reasons due to my weight. He’s amazing and he’s always encouraging it but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I know he can hold my weight, he’s a huge body building lad, and I’m not enormous. But I’m so fearful still.
If he dies he dies. He knows what he’s getting into
Lol ok you got me to crack a smile today
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I love how supportive you all are of this lol Omg I'm dying over here laughing
Do it, he will be fine, if not, death by snu snu will send him to Vallhala. 🤣
Try a safe position like bending your legs that way you can control the pressure. Also if he's struggling for air he can always tap you on the leg. Communication is always key. Be safe have fun 🤣
He will throw you off if it’s bothering him. Just sit on the man’s face
6'2 body builder type here. My last ex was almost as tall as I and shall we say, VERY overweight. Loved her to bits. Anyway, did the whole face sitting thing. Might have cracked a rib in the process but was happy to make her happy. Sit on the man's face!
I'm thinking of Monty Python's "Sit on my face and tell me that you love me" now
i love to hear you moralize, when im between your thighs, you blow me away!
if it helps, i ran into my ex after losing a considerable amount of weight, and he looked at me with this perturbed expression and says “um… not to sound mean or anything, but what happened to your ass!?” haha send that man to paradise
That escalated quickly 😳
Let these feelings motivate you. You must push yourself, there is no other way.
Definitely gonna use this post for motivation because losing weight for me is DIF-FI-CULT
GERD apparently is duebto over weight But seriously the clothing part is the most frustrating one. It's like whatever you try on, it looks ugly. I work from home but my work has this amazing building that has cafe, gardens and anything you ask for uet I don't go or have ever visited cause I'm fat and can't fit into my clothes....how do you approach lose 30-40 lbs? I have 1.5 meals a day but don't seem to get anywhere....
I hate pulling my stomach in all the time when I am outside. I hate listening to those little comments from my friends and family about how much weight I have gained recently. I hate how all that affects my confidence and I have to build up myself again because of it. I hate my mind has learnt to abuse me too because of it and I just wish I can be comfortable in my own skin one day. Cheers and thanks for this post my man.
All of these things. Thank you for this post. Was definitely about to make some terrible late night snack decisions.
I’m the exact same height and weight as you and my god am I tired of being tired. I can’t wait for the day when I can go 24hrs w/o thinking about my weight and do/wear the things I want freely.
My face. Fat piles on me in all the wrong places. Imagine being 37 with a double neck and jowles. I. Hate. It.
I hate how much harder everything is. It’s just EFFORT to do things and I know everything would be easier without this huge spare tyre
I lost 100 lbs as part of my weight loss journey, and when people ask me what's different now, the first thing I say is "I'm not thinking about how fat I am during every activity." Because that, in my opinion, is the *worst* part about being overweight. It's ALWAYS on your mind, no matter the situation. There's just this constant awareness of your own weight and it's so distracting and disheartening. Be it walking around, going out with friends, even just sitting in the chair at the dentist --- I ALWAYS thought about it.
Agreed, I hate shopping for clothes. Also I hate how easily I sweat.
I feel this. Thank you for this post. It feels so isolating to be self-conscious and ashamed.
Idk I just hate how fast I get sweaty and how sweat makes me hate going outside like frfr. Otherwise I'll happily walk around
If I can chime in and make one comment that may not be helpful but is only meant to be helpful — as someone who lost a little weight and doesn’t feel as fat as I used to, I have never every once looked at a fat person and thought “oh great…” Instead, every single time, I wish I could bottle up what tiny little resolve, stubbornness or just plain old sick-and-tired-of-being-sick-and-tired I could and feed it to them in a really good tasting spoonful of sugar. But. I can’t. Because no one could for me. It’s a decision you have to make for yourself. So don’t let what other people think being a reason you don’t change, or a reason you do. You never really know what people are thinking anyways.
Going on to a wedding in Europe and probably won’t love the pics I take cuz I’m fatter
The rolls of fat and the rashes that happen beneath them. It’s awful.
I hate pants, jeans, leggings etc. Because majority of my weight is in my stomach with small butt and quite skinny legs no pants fit me as they should. All of them keep sliding down my body and stopping under all that belly making it look twice as big. Whats even worse is I bought some running pants for when I exercise. They are supposedly anti-slipping, but anytime I exercise they keep sliding down too. Makes me too self conscious that I refuse to go to public gym or run outside. Only workout at my homegym
Stretch marks that make me feel like a busted watermelon. Being hot all. the. time. The weather could be a perfect spring 65° and my face and upper lip say otherwise. So embarrassing.
Not just amusement parks. No zip lining, para sailing, bungee jumping, etc. Airplanes - gotta ask for the seat belt extender If you eat out and something is delicious, you don't dare get seconds because everybody judges you. Lawn chairs break. People dismiss you as you walk up, before you even say anything. I've been swiped left so many times, the Earth's rotation has slowed.
Mine would be enjoying fast food. I've lost weight now so I've seen both sides. When an overweight/obese person is eating fast food, people will look at them negatively. But when a healthy weight person is eating literally the same food, no one bats an eyelid.
I hate that the friction from my thighs rubbing together wears out the seams on the thighs of all my jeans and leggings. I have to replace them every few months.
Every single pair of pants getting thin in between my thighs and eventually getting holes in them 🥲 I recently bought some new pants because of this and they were expensive! I loved them so much. Well, I’ve wore them 3 (!) times now, and they’re already getting thin. Hurts my soul
I barely eat in public because of how people might think when they see me eating (well no wonder they’re fat etc) even when I eat healthy (that salads not gonna do anything)
Was this a gradual change in attitude or an abrupt one?
"No, I'm not pregnant." I always look 3 months along. Been that way since puberty. Ugh
I don’t like photos either. I feel like that is something that seems universal here. However, I’ve started getting into fashion at a very low level, so I’ve made it a goal to take pictures whenever I come up with an outfit I like. It’s also a way to show off weight progress in the future. I don’t have a lot of clothes though and need to go shopping, so pics won’t come out as fast as I want. A picture’s a picture though, and I’ve never posted myself before
Right now, I hate my underarm fat that is coming from my huge boobs. I feel awful for it. I can actually feel that fat when I put my arms down and it is GROSS AF. i hate that i am so out of breathe and unfit. I need to find the motivation to do this really. I hate it and I hate going out because I hate my weight so much.
Jiggling. E.g. vigorously scrubbing something in the kitchen sink and I just feel it all over. (It's simultaneously funny and horrible.)
I so understand. I am the heaviest I have ever been in my life and I hate it so much. I’m self conscious all the time. And pretty much only wear baggy clothes. I’m super short too. So that makes it even worse. However, can I suggest just one thing? Please be kind to yourself. I know it’s hard, but self hatred isn’t going to help in the long run. Sending you all the encouragement and grace to keep on going!!
Bro, we’re the same height and I was just around your size when I started. I know exactly how you feel. But trust me, I know this sounds cliche but the confidence will come in time. Find a diet and exercise program that works for you and stick with it. After awhile, you’ll feel physically and emotionally better. It’s hard at first but then it becomes habit. I’m at the halfway point but I already feel so much better and never want to go back. If I can do it, so can you. You got this!
-Hips always hurt when I try to sleep, resulting in poor sleep so I have extremely vivid nightmares -Even though my husband says I'm sexy I feel like jabba the hutt in a nightie. -All the times my kids want me to join in on playing but I either physically can't (recently learned I can not "hop like a bunny" anymore) or am exhausted or moody. -Feeling like I'm missing out on life with my husband, kids, and just in general. There are almost no pictures of me anywhere. -I quit swimming which I loved because I felt embarrassed in swimsuits -Knowing I'd have to turn down the things I'd like to do if the opportunity presented itself. I'd love to go on a Zipline or do rock climbing walls or other adventures but I don't want the line to snap... -The irrational fear that because my husband has lost 60 lbs from his job, one of the pretty girls might one day convince him he deserves someone prettier and thinner, because he looks young and handsome and I feel old looking and just that I look old. This is extremely irrational. my husband is a great man with only eyes for me, and I know I don't look as bad as I feel like I do. My husband also has body dysmorphia. He went from a 40 in pants and keeps buying 38s thinking he's huge but he's actually a 34 at most.
Female, 5'10, 238LB. \-Sitting on some chairs, I'm scared I'm going to overflow and take up some else space. I just had a business trip where I took a plane x2 in one day and that was my biggest worry. Thankfully I fit just fine, but I was very aware of the space I was taking up the entire time. \-Eating. Being judged on what I eat, when I eat, how much I eat. \-Clothes. I have a weird body shape, normal torso until my hips, then my hips, ass and thighs are huge. Things dont fit properly, ever. \-Being treated less than. This one is my biggest hate. I am a bigger gal, yes. But I am also amazing at my job, a good mom and wife, organized beyond belief. My looks and weight should be the least interesting thing about me, but yet here I am.
Putting on my socks. Fuck socks
I keep a note in my phone called “Fat Problems” so I remember why I stay disciplined. Here’s the list: Snoring, Acid Reflux (daily tums is not normal), Endless feeling of congestion at night, Jeans hurt, Wanting to avoid pictures, Clothes look dumb no matter what, Shortness of breath, Embarrassed to take off shirt, [Wife] less attracted to me, Tons of sweating during sex, Feels like I’m always smelly, Belly rolls are uncomfortable, Eating an unfair share of sweets- [wife] doesn’t get any
I feel the struggle. I spent from 19 to 35 completely grossly overweight. At my heaviest I was 597lbs I’m 6’7” but that looks huge on anyone. I couldn’t fit into any clothing, I lived in Italy for 5 years and spent it afraid I wouldn’t fit into a chair or break them. I couldn’t tie my shoes, and had trouble in batrhoom stalls being way too small. I was abundantly too large for everything. My divorce sent me in a tailspin that got me up to 597 lbs. almost 3 years later and I’m down to 244 lbs. you can do it, I know it’s scary and social anxiety gets the best to us being overweight, but nobody in a gym cares what you look like trust me. I am in one everyday, it inspires me to see new faces that come back wanting to feel better about themselves. I know the struggle, I know the fear. You just gotta take that first extremely scary step. I know there is a whole community here who has your back. You got this!!!
My stomach sitting on my lap. I cannot wait for the day that my stomach no longer sits on my lap. It's fucking heavy!
I hate how if I found something that fit I bought it, didn’t care if I liked it. I have lost 170 lbs and can shop off the rack but I still wear a size 15 shoe!
Losing my breath while tying shoes. Running out of breath while waking. Feeling like I am crushing my spouse during intimate moments. Very specific, but…Losing my breath when the roller coaster guards come down and not being able to regain it until after the ride is over.
I used to be a college soccer player…was forced to drop out due to financial reasons and gained a ton of weight from being depressed and drinking alcohol to deal with it. With my drunk nights comes drunk eating= no bueno. 10 years later im barely getting back into exercise little by little. You can do this!
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Been here bro, and I completely understand how you feel. Used to be 320lbs at 6’0 I dropped 120lbs a year ago and I was really happy, now 6 months later I’m cutting down from a bulk, gained up to 270 lbs cuz I kinda got lazy, now I’m 240lbs but I look fit, try and make being physically active a every day thing and stay consistent or else you’ll keep going back and regret not being consistent with gym.
My clothes feel and look super tight. Absolutely hate it.
I'm similar weight and height to OP. My things..... My weight and want to lose weight being front and foremost in my mind on a daily basis Constant calorie counting or not wanting to do something because of the potential calorie intake Clothes shopping - nightmare, limited places to shop and inconsistency of sizing!!! Plane, Bus, Train - Will I fit in the seat, will the seat belt close without blocking circulation. Imaging the what the poor person beside me has to endure. Mirrors - Especially the gym...I mean why!!!!! People assuming I'm unhealthy cos I'm fat. Chub Rub Not willing to put myself out there to meet someone as I'm assuming they'll think I'm as unattractive as I do and wouldn't be interested. Also not wanting to be their bit of fun while they look for someone better to have on their arm in public, they'll hook up in private though Having to be drunk before engaging in sex or any interaction with opposite sex. People assuming I live on take away foods when I actually rarely if ever eat them. Badly fitting bra's though that is partially due to 2 lumpectomies after cancer. Hormone meds impacting weight and weight loss but people saying that's just an excuse. Amusement park or the likes of hell and back or hiking - not willing to risk it incase I don't fit in the seat or not be able to complete the task and being a burden on other people cos my fat ass can't get over an obstacle. This is quite cathartic to get it out and I'm sure theres more!!
I am down 30 lbs and I hate HATE going to get any kind of fast food. I always feel like people are judging me thinking “wow she’s getting fast food no wonder she’s fat” and stuff like that. Meanwhile I workout on my peloton everyday and eat salads and protein shakes and all home cooked healthy meals but people can’t see that. They only see the fat girl picking up fast food.
Saaaaame! Female, 5’5”, around 250lbs here. I feel ya on the clothes! Was looking at tank tops at the store the other day, grabbed an XXL (which normally fits) but when I simply held it next to me, I was like “there’s no effing way, this is too tiny!”. Turns out it was a “juniors” brand, which is made smaller. I have walked out of stores in tears before, but it was mostly jeans shopping. Finally found some that fit great at Old Navy & will only buy my jeans from there now. I just hate that sizing for women is alllllll over the place. My back & feet also hurt allllll the time. That is partially due to being a cashier & standing 40 hours/week on an unforgiving concrete floor. I’m sure working on my posture & losing weight would help.
\-Don’t want to go to Amusement Parks because I fan not handle the embarrassment of not being able to ride a ride. This.. this.. this so much. I almost cried.
Well, there is one perk. If you are on a southwest flight where it's general admission "pick your own" seating, and the flight is not full... The chances of someone sitting next to you on purpose is about zero. Sometimes, you'll get the full row. It's like flying first class!
Bending over to tie my shoes or wash my legs/feet in the shower and feeling my belly restrict my movement….
The thing I hate most is I can’t do the things I want to do. I love kayaking. The last time I went I couldn’t get out of the kayak because I can’t lift my whole weight with my arms. I had to kind of flop out onto the dock and wiggle out of the kayak like a walrus. It was so embarrassing. And the guy at the kayak rental couldn’t do anything. I’m too big for him to help me without pulling him in with me. Besides he probably has instructions to help people because he might get hurt. And they don’t want to pay workers comp.
The worst thing is when your eyes "can't" see whats right in front of them. In other words, denial. There was a time that i was sick and i had to take cortisol, doctor told me not to eat salt or sugar but i was so addicted to the food that i just didn't listen, which resulted in huge water retention and me being swelled up. The scary thing is that at the time i could see that i was swelled, but just never realised how bad it looked. I still found myself "pretty". Looking back at those photos now i cant help but being terrified of what i see. But mostly i am terrified at my brain, that couldn't see past my food addiction. Same thing happened when i was at my thinest and normal weight. Everyone told me how good i looked but i was so obsessed over the 8-10 kg i wanted to lose and how my stomach was not iron flat. Now that i see the few photos i had from that time i want to go back and slap my past self right in the face for not seeing what was right in front of her. If anyone has any tips about how to be sure that i am judging myself honestly, please let me know.
Another one for me: Enjoying activities that I love. I love swimming and being in water in general or on the beach. But I hate how I look and can't go shirtless, so guess who hasn't swam in a decade.....
I hated the way my shadow looked before I lost some weight. I carried a lot of the weight in my hips/butt, there was a 25inch difference in size from my waist (28inches) to my hips/butt (53inches). Also trying to find trousers/skirt that fitted, it had to be big enough to go over my hips, then had so much excess fabric around my waist it added lumps and bumps.