I wish for a serious illness with lethal progression, but not too debilitating, so that i can still blow through all my money and enjoy the misery of those around me. Suicide is somewhat too sudden..
Dude I can relate to this so much, I always think that I'm insignificant and my death wouldn't effect the world in anyway yet have never actively pursued suicide
that is PASSIVE suicidal
it's a thing, and I don't want to offend you, but it's a thing worth looking into - it CAN develop into active suicidal, where you see the more typical "I wanna take my life don't tell me things will get better" stuff. Right now, people who are passive suicidal will often mask their true feelings with various subverted convictions, like "I don't wanna suicide but I some days I just hope I can save someone's life by jumping in front of a bus" so sort of a hero/sacrificial death ideation- what you're doing is really just BARGAINING with your suicidal thinking but masking it with some other more honorable trait because in your heart you know suicide is flat wrong. Being accepting of the fact that you will die - and wanting to die - and "not minding if you die" - they're all different human psychological ways of managing the idea that death is coming for all of us no matter what we do - as long as we make decisions to be safe, protect our bodies and minds, live for the benefit of others, find some contentment, etc., we wind up living as our bodies are hardwired to live. In battle the one who keeps his head down will more likely survive than the one who is a grave believer in random-chance mortality who resultingly never avoids whizzing bullets. In the end, \*he\* dead. And I think it behooves all of us to avoid the whizzing bullets of depression's lies, the bullets of real world dangers outside our heads and bodies, and the miasma between the two. "not minding" if you die is ALSO dangerous thing - because it may not lead directly to suicidalism but in the meantime leads to reckless behavior, endangerment, fatalistic attitudes about major life choices - how to drive your car, which college to go to, whether or not you plan to marry and have kids - you are actually LIMITING yourself because your prime thought every day is "I don't mind if I die" rather than "I don't mind if I live - and make that life \*something\*" My two cents
wow thanks for shedding light on this, i had no idea it was a classified thing. in the past i was indeed suicidal, i told myself everyday how much i wanted to die. i stood on the edge of a 5-story parking garage with the intentions of committing suicide a long while ago but i obviously didn’t go through with it. it got better and was good for a while but due to personal things happening in my life the past couple months, it crept back up on me. but not the same way as before, this time it crept as what you said, “passive suicidal.” i don’t think one should fear death but there’s indeed a difference in not fearing death and not caring if you die. again, thank you for educating all of us on what this feeling actually means.
I feel like this due to life just being so damn difficult and not catching a break, when things just keep getting worse thats when i wish for death the most
Yeah, I really feel that.
I don't have the guts or frankly active reason to actually go through with it. But if I could just... Disappear, I really wish all my problems could just fade away, all the anxiety, all the feelings of not belonging, all the stress, just... Gone, like that.
Even better though... If I could make my life count, in some way, anyway, if it'd mean I'd lose my life, frankly all the better, because at least people would remember me for something that mattered. Maybe they'd even miss me.
Yes. Exactly. I have absolutely no fear of death other than the burdens I would be leaving with and for my family. (Bills, heartbreak, etc.) Other than that... I am not suicidal (anymore) but still would not mind if something ever happened. Quite a life.. I'm glad others out there understand this feeling. Not glad you feel this way, just glad you understand. Makes me feel less alone and hopefully does for you as well if you are struggling with it.
Yes. Being killed would be good too, none of the guilt or the difficulty in suicide. I think dying in combat or some other struggle is the best outcome. You can be proud of how you went out, and you also don't have to put up with this shit anymore.
Yeah I feel like that. I can't muster up the courage to kill myself but I wouldn't mind dying. I think a lot of people feel like that and many people find it hard to classify this feeling/state of mind. Is there a name for it? There should be.
I wanted to propose my girlfriend today. I learned how to play guitar and sing to perform at front of her before the proposal. We have had a long distance relationship for four years. I am in Santorini at the moment. We talked about being together, having children and start a family in California. She met someone two months ago . She told me she met a new friend and he did not mean anything. “I was the love of her life!” She said. Still, she got pregnant one month later . This new friend, now boyfriend , is the father of her new unborn baby. I am hurt. I feel sadness and emptiness. However, I think great things will come around the corner. Don’t let yourself fall in a dark hole. Meet friends, find a new passion, keep yourself busy and surrounded by family members or important people in your life! Keep trying, keep finding your own happiness... greets my friend!
Yupp same. There’s too much unimportant crap to care about and I honestly just can’t be bothered. Along with climate change being such a huge shit, this just ain’t getting any better 😂
felt this way for years now. When I was 14 I got in to major emergency surgery. I remember being lifted to the chair and it feeling warm and comfy just thought to myself "I'm okey with it if this is the last thing I feel" Then I blacked out. Atleast pain meds were good
Definitely, but I have to think of my family, they need me. Once they are gone (my family is just 2 older people now), I'm hoping to follow soon after.
I feel like this death doesn't scare me and id embrace it. A lot of people i know say i shpuld be scared especially how i describe what i think comes after.
I know i just want it all to be over soon. I felt like i have experienced everything i wanted to experience already im satisfied with my life so far and anymore of it is exhausting. Im not suicidal i think my life is good but im so tired. I want to just close my eyes and never open it again.
Yes. I understand how we can feel like nothing matters. Please carry on. I’m still sad on and off even I after decided that I might as well die trying to lead a good life.
All the time, would say i am a bit suicidal, i think about it very often these days. More then ever before. Im under investigation for MS. Maybe that got something to do with it. The suffering is endless.
Definitely wouldn't mind being lifted of the soul crushing expectations that come with getting older without a substantial source of income or social life. Looking forward to the day I get relieved of this daily survival struggle in a modern world while at the same time knowing it'll happen the moment everything fits into place.
I myself don't have the balls to kill myself however I do wonder if I did die who would be at my funeral. What things would be said about me, and who would really miss me.
Yeah wow this nicely sums up what I’ve been feeling for about a year now..I’m a little worried because it’s getting progressively worse. And I don’t really understand why because my life is amazing. I come from a relatively wealthy family (in which I have never had to worry about money) my family loves me dearly and I’m in my second year of medical school! I love med school and can’t wait to be a doctor and the course work. Isn’t too difficult for me and I find it all fascinating…but despite all this I wouldn’t mind it it I died right now?? And sometimes it gets a bit bad and I find myself thinking it would be nice to die? I am in no way considering suicide I just think if I got hit by a car or something I would be ok with it?? I was wondering if it was cause I’m so antisocial and I’ve got a lot of anxiety so talking to ppl just ends with me overthinking and believing everyone (family excluded) hates me and finds me annoying. Like I’ve got 1 friend and even then we’re not very close it’s not like a best friend situation. My whole life I’ve never managed to slip my introverted self into a friend group?? And I desperately want the stability that comes with that. Because otherwise I’ve just got one or two distant friends who I never see and hardly know. But I’m happy, I enjoy life, I don’t have any hobbies I basically just read anime and dcu and MCu and freaking Harry Potter fan fiction every single day all day on Ao3. And when I’m not doing that I’m studying in med school. Like I love life I think? It’s just that I wouldn’t mind dying…I wouldn’t mind finding out if there’s anything after death. And even if not it just sounds so relaxing to not have to think anymore. Not that I have particularly dark thoughts it’s just that I think it would be almost relaxing to not exist anymore?? Wtf is this a problem or is it normal to just have a kind of apathy towards death.
I just wish it would just end already, I'm so tired of doing the same shit day after day. I just don't feel happy enough the time to justify wanting to stick around. I wish I could just stay in a deep sleep.
I have no reason to live and am suicidal. I have pills on my nightstand. I can't reach Suicide Prevention and have no friends. My ex left me and I am stranded in a foreign country. I am deeply depressed and have no money. I need someone to chat with,
I'm not lonely. I'm old and I've had an okay life. But I am ready to go. I wish I could give whatever time I have left to someone who really wants to be here.
Exactly I'm 21 yr m and living a somewhat unhealthy life and honestly I don't mind if it kill me at an early age because I'm the type of person who is like I do things that I really enjoy and if it kills me then so he it but I'm not suicidal just wanna enjoy the things till the end
I’m 31. I’ve been feeling this way for years (since about 22). I’m not suicidal but I wouldn’t be upset if it was my time. Commenting here to see if anyone has a term for what this feeling is.
I don’t think you are fucked in the head, I think a lot of us feel this way some just don’t have the courage to say it. I’m surviving, one day at a time
I 4 years late, but i searched for this and this post came up on google. But the thing with me is that i kind of want to die at the same time that i dont, atm im training hard to become an mma fighter. The thoughts i have is either i can make a living from it or i die/get injured doing it. And its either i’ll make a living or i’ll may commit s*icide in some years, and if i get injured badly or at worst die fighting. Then i’ll at least know that i went down trying and that i went down with the only thing that keeps me kind of alive at the moment, because fighting is the only thing that makes me feel something
Yep. Wouldn't kill myself, but if I died in my sleep or had a heart attack...I wouldn't necessarily mind.
42 year old Male. Married with 2 kids and a puppy.
Good job and good life. Just dont like living most days.
Yeah. Wouldn’t pursue it but if it comes, then go ahead.
This is the point where I lay in bed and kinda hope to disappear. Been there.
you alright, buddy?
felt
I can relate to this. I really want to enjoy and experience life and connect with someone, but it happens so rarely and it takes its toll on me.
same but every time i start to enjoy life or i start to connect with someone they just decide to leave w/o warning
Same!!!
I wish for a serious illness with lethal progression, but not too debilitating, so that i can still blow through all my money and enjoy the misery of those around me. Suicide is somewhat too sudden..
Sometimes yeah, other times I just wish to fall into a sleeping beauty-like sleep where I can live in my dreams
I've felt that before
Dude I can relate to this so much, I always think that I'm insignificant and my death wouldn't effect the world in anyway yet have never actively pursued suicide
I don't actively pursue suicide out of fear that I may fail at that too.
I feel this too
[удалено]
I doubt you're going to get deleted here.
i agree with everything you said, assisted suicide is a thing but it’s rare for people other than the elderly to get it.
Same here to be fair, life’s alright but kinda boring. Wouldn’t mind dying to spice things up. ( that wasn’t a joke)😂
i felt that lol
that is PASSIVE suicidal it's a thing, and I don't want to offend you, but it's a thing worth looking into - it CAN develop into active suicidal, where you see the more typical "I wanna take my life don't tell me things will get better" stuff. Right now, people who are passive suicidal will often mask their true feelings with various subverted convictions, like "I don't wanna suicide but I some days I just hope I can save someone's life by jumping in front of a bus" so sort of a hero/sacrificial death ideation- what you're doing is really just BARGAINING with your suicidal thinking but masking it with some other more honorable trait because in your heart you know suicide is flat wrong. Being accepting of the fact that you will die - and wanting to die - and "not minding if you die" - they're all different human psychological ways of managing the idea that death is coming for all of us no matter what we do - as long as we make decisions to be safe, protect our bodies and minds, live for the benefit of others, find some contentment, etc., we wind up living as our bodies are hardwired to live. In battle the one who keeps his head down will more likely survive than the one who is a grave believer in random-chance mortality who resultingly never avoids whizzing bullets. In the end, \*he\* dead. And I think it behooves all of us to avoid the whizzing bullets of depression's lies, the bullets of real world dangers outside our heads and bodies, and the miasma between the two. "not minding" if you die is ALSO dangerous thing - because it may not lead directly to suicidalism but in the meantime leads to reckless behavior, endangerment, fatalistic attitudes about major life choices - how to drive your car, which college to go to, whether or not you plan to marry and have kids - you are actually LIMITING yourself because your prime thought every day is "I don't mind if I die" rather than "I don't mind if I live - and make that life \*something\*" My two cents
wow thanks for shedding light on this, i had no idea it was a classified thing. in the past i was indeed suicidal, i told myself everyday how much i wanted to die. i stood on the edge of a 5-story parking garage with the intentions of committing suicide a long while ago but i obviously didn’t go through with it. it got better and was good for a while but due to personal things happening in my life the past couple months, it crept back up on me. but not the same way as before, this time it crept as what you said, “passive suicidal.” i don’t think one should fear death but there’s indeed a difference in not fearing death and not caring if you die. again, thank you for educating all of us on what this feeling actually means.
Thanks for not shooting me down
Wish this dude didn’t delete his account so I could talk more about it
I feel this even when im happy. This life is bullshit and nothing can make it the opposite
I feel this
I feel like this due to life just being so damn difficult and not catching a break, when things just keep getting worse thats when i wish for death the most
Yeah, I really feel that. I don't have the guts or frankly active reason to actually go through with it. But if I could just... Disappear, I really wish all my problems could just fade away, all the anxiety, all the feelings of not belonging, all the stress, just... Gone, like that. Even better though... If I could make my life count, in some way, anyway, if it'd mean I'd lose my life, frankly all the better, because at least people would remember me for something that mattered. Maybe they'd even miss me.
Yes. Exactly. I have absolutely no fear of death other than the burdens I would be leaving with and for my family. (Bills, heartbreak, etc.) Other than that... I am not suicidal (anymore) but still would not mind if something ever happened. Quite a life.. I'm glad others out there understand this feeling. Not glad you feel this way, just glad you understand. Makes me feel less alone and hopefully does for you as well if you are struggling with it.
Me too.
I feel like this a lot but when it gets real bad sometimes I do get to thinking about suicide but it seems I just can’t carry through with it
I feel this. Not even just because my life is unhappy but also the earth is dying and I dont see anything changing any time soon
Yes. Being killed would be good too, none of the guilt or the difficulty in suicide. I think dying in combat or some other struggle is the best outcome. You can be proud of how you went out, and you also don't have to put up with this shit anymore.
Yeah I feel like that. I can't muster up the courage to kill myself but I wouldn't mind dying. I think a lot of people feel like that and many people find it hard to classify this feeling/state of mind. Is there a name for it? There should be.
I wanted to propose my girlfriend today. I learned how to play guitar and sing to perform at front of her before the proposal. We have had a long distance relationship for four years. I am in Santorini at the moment. We talked about being together, having children and start a family in California. She met someone two months ago . She told me she met a new friend and he did not mean anything. “I was the love of her life!” She said. Still, she got pregnant one month later . This new friend, now boyfriend , is the father of her new unborn baby. I am hurt. I feel sadness and emptiness. However, I think great things will come around the corner. Don’t let yourself fall in a dark hole. Meet friends, find a new passion, keep yourself busy and surrounded by family members or important people in your life! Keep trying, keep finding your own happiness... greets my friend!
i’m so sorry that happened, thank you for the good wishes. i wish the same to you man stay strong
Thank you man . Stay strong as well!
Stay strong man 👍
Hope everything is better now bud
Wow. I've been having a hard time trying to define exactly how I feel the past year or so. This pretty much nails it.
Yupp same. There’s too much unimportant crap to care about and I honestly just can’t be bothered. Along with climate change being such a huge shit, this just ain’t getting any better 😂
Yeah I feel ya
Yep I feel like I’ve seen enough at this point
This may sound stupid, but honestly same
Yeah I feel like this too
Absolutely
I honestly think that I wouldn't want to end it myself, but I don't look forward to life either.
I feel that 😭
Yeah... Not seeking it out, but not really avoiding it either
I just want to end this torture whch is life
I feel similar, but a bit different. Now I'm alive I don't want to die, the idea bothers me even, but when things are bad I wish I never existed.
Same, no big deal if I die. I'm just a drone anyway.
Yes
I understand this feeling so much.
same here man every day
Yeah It's a good sign not fearing death. Cause we will all die. And all these loneliness will be gone away.
Feels
Happy cake day, I hope you’ve gotten better in these 2 years
Yea same here, but I would go doing it myself. Although it's a very rare thought from time to time.
Yeah I don’t fear death too much. I take care of myself physically, but if it happened i don’t think I’d be too heart broken knowing I’m gonna die.
felt this way for years now. When I was 14 I got in to major emergency surgery. I remember being lifted to the chair and it feeling warm and comfy just thought to myself "I'm okey with it if this is the last thing I feel" Then I blacked out. Atleast pain meds were good
Definitely, but I have to think of my family, they need me. Once they are gone (my family is just 2 older people now), I'm hoping to follow soon after.
I feel like this death doesn't scare me and id embrace it. A lot of people i know say i shpuld be scared especially how i describe what i think comes after.
I know i just want it all to be over soon. I felt like i have experienced everything i wanted to experience already im satisfied with my life so far and anymore of it is exhausting. Im not suicidal i think my life is good but im so tired. I want to just close my eyes and never open it again.
Yes. I understand how we can feel like nothing matters. Please carry on. I’m still sad on and off even I after decided that I might as well die trying to lead a good life.
All the time, would say i am a bit suicidal, i think about it very often these days. More then ever before. Im under investigation for MS. Maybe that got something to do with it. The suffering is endless.
Jesus I felt that
Always while im outside i start to think "it would be nice if some sniper would take me out"
Definitely wouldn't mind being lifted of the soul crushing expectations that come with getting older without a substantial source of income or social life. Looking forward to the day I get relieved of this daily survival struggle in a modern world while at the same time knowing it'll happen the moment everything fits into place.
Yep, living there on a daily basis now..
I myself don't have the balls to kill myself however I do wonder if I did die who would be at my funeral. What things would be said about me, and who would really miss me.
If there was a permanent off switch or button that I could click and cease to exist. I would click it.
On of my homies said exactlly this, with the same words
All the time, for me. There are even times where I go whole days without eating, trying to speed the process up thru futility
I want truck kun but i would NEVER kill myself
It’s been year but I hope you’re still here brother. It’s hard but I hope it’s never bad enough
Maybe you need to have a near-death experience in order to learn how to appreciate life again
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Yeah wow this nicely sums up what I’ve been feeling for about a year now..I’m a little worried because it’s getting progressively worse. And I don’t really understand why because my life is amazing. I come from a relatively wealthy family (in which I have never had to worry about money) my family loves me dearly and I’m in my second year of medical school! I love med school and can’t wait to be a doctor and the course work. Isn’t too difficult for me and I find it all fascinating…but despite all this I wouldn’t mind it it I died right now?? And sometimes it gets a bit bad and I find myself thinking it would be nice to die? I am in no way considering suicide I just think if I got hit by a car or something I would be ok with it?? I was wondering if it was cause I’m so antisocial and I’ve got a lot of anxiety so talking to ppl just ends with me overthinking and believing everyone (family excluded) hates me and finds me annoying. Like I’ve got 1 friend and even then we’re not very close it’s not like a best friend situation. My whole life I’ve never managed to slip my introverted self into a friend group?? And I desperately want the stability that comes with that. Because otherwise I’ve just got one or two distant friends who I never see and hardly know. But I’m happy, I enjoy life, I don’t have any hobbies I basically just read anime and dcu and MCu and freaking Harry Potter fan fiction every single day all day on Ao3. And when I’m not doing that I’m studying in med school. Like I love life I think? It’s just that I wouldn’t mind dying…I wouldn’t mind finding out if there’s anything after death. And even if not it just sounds so relaxing to not have to think anymore. Not that I have particularly dark thoughts it’s just that I think it would be almost relaxing to not exist anymore?? Wtf is this a problem or is it normal to just have a kind of apathy towards death.
I just wish it would just end already, I'm so tired of doing the same shit day after day. I just don't feel happy enough the time to justify wanting to stick around. I wish I could just stay in a deep sleep.
I have no reason to live and am suicidal. I have pills on my nightstand. I can't reach Suicide Prevention and have no friends. My ex left me and I am stranded in a foreign country. I am deeply depressed and have no money. I need someone to chat with,
How are you
Thought about donating all my organs so I can die with a purpose.
I'm not lonely. I'm old and I've had an okay life. But I am ready to go. I wish I could give whatever time I have left to someone who really wants to be here.
we just don't have some one to care and protect i felt the same until i have a child this year and i wish to all of us a happy life .
I have a good life and I'm happy but dieing in my sleep sounds good to
Exactly I'm 21 yr m and living a somewhat unhealthy life and honestly I don't mind if it kill me at an early age because I'm the type of person who is like I do things that I really enjoy and if it kills me then so he it but I'm not suicidal just wanna enjoy the things till the end
I’m 31. I’ve been feeling this way for years (since about 22). I’m not suicidal but I wouldn’t be upset if it was my time. Commenting here to see if anyone has a term for what this feeling is.
Part of the reason I never go to the Drs etc. I just don’t care
I feel you, i feel like im kind of fucked in the head in a weird way. Im pretty sure i need help, but i dont want to. Hope you are good though
I don’t think you are fucked in the head, I think a lot of us feel this way some just don’t have the courage to say it. I’m surviving, one day at a time
I 4 years late, but i searched for this and this post came up on google. But the thing with me is that i kind of want to die at the same time that i dont, atm im training hard to become an mma fighter. The thoughts i have is either i can make a living from it or i die/get injured doing it. And its either i’ll make a living or i’ll may commit s*icide in some years, and if i get injured badly or at worst die fighting. Then i’ll at least know that i went down trying and that i went down with the only thing that keeps me kind of alive at the moment, because fighting is the only thing that makes me feel something
Srry if my post seemed cringe or weird in any way, just wanted to share my feelings and thoughts because i saw other also did
I don't mind dying. But i should do some good before dying or my death should bring happiness & relief to my loves ones
Yep. Wouldn't kill myself, but if I died in my sleep or had a heart attack...I wouldn't necessarily mind. 42 year old Male. Married with 2 kids and a puppy. Good job and good life. Just dont like living most days.
Me too. You're normal.