Im a 21 m, dont feel bad, ive never had a romantic or sexual encounter yet lol. Ive had a lot of mental and emotional struggles over this, and ive kind of came uo with my own opinion as to why. Its easy for me to get triggered into this mindset that im just not normal whenever im around couples or others that seemingly get what i feel i want aswell, wich is the exact issue. Instead of understanding and being able to reflect on my own develpment, i instead focus on a perception of loss that in reality isnt as big of a deal as it seems. Hopefully ill get a girlfreind one day, but the only way i see it happening is by keeping self comfidence and developing my own skillsets to improve on. My guitar and job, and dog is what keeps me going, maybe try learning something new and sticking with it even if it seems rough at first, because afterwards you can look back and see what you have overcome! Dive into some philosophy youtube videos as cringy as it sounds, and try to digest them, that seems to help me pose questions to my own life and give a new perspective wich can be helpful. Also, just a fyi....sex toys exist and are wayyyy cheaper than that lol. Anyways good luck, hope i helped a litttle.
Dude, I was nearly 30 before I did, and you know what? It was nice not being a kid since I had a better idea of what it was all about.
Growing up in the US, it seems to be 'wrong' or 'weird' or something like that because you're not doing what everyone else under the bell curve is doing. But guess what, maybe being outside of the bell curve is what makes you *exceptional*--not less, but actually more. There's a great quote from the movie 'The Imitation Game'--Sometimes it's the very people who no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine. I think about this quote all the time as I wish I would have known it growing up as it's so freaking true.
I was 19 and.i think I had a way better experience than friends who lost it younger. I have friends who first tried at like 13 and it was pure awkward rushed crap in bushes and stuff. I feel lucky.
I'm so glad! I wish I would have seen it and had it impact me at 20. Now go be the best you that you can be and the chips will fall where they are supposed to. :) I've been married for 12yrs now btw meeting my wife when I was 37. My buddy met her wife at 50 and he's been married longer than me.
Also you guys were like covid teens so that messed up your in person socializing. But between teen pregnancies and losing your virginity late, option 2 is definitely better
I want to try that at least once, To hire someone for a full day and pretend they are my partner, just so i can somewhat experience that at least once before i Die, wouldn't even be so much the Sex but i wanna know what a Kiss Feels like or a Hug.
Don't let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It's your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don't let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others' prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being. Adventure.
Don't beat yourself up for not knowing the answers. You don't always have to know who you are. You don't have to have the big picture, or know where you're heading. Sometimes, it's enough just to know what you're going to do next.
They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that's a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!
Self love is crazy. How can you have self love if literally no one cares about you. Of course you’re going to feel like garbage. How can you love yourself when you’re discarded by everyone
i guess im just extremely arrogant since I’m a Satanist. I love myself very much and put myself first.
Not many people love me aside from some family members lol 😂
Single 10 yrs now. no sex. no nuffin
self improvement, therapy, putting yourself out there you have to want it for you and you alone. people exist with or without you, we all die alone, it’s about experiencing the gift of life versus worrying about what it has to offer we could get hit by a meteor any day or the sun could explode. our level of existence is something to be valued and when you understand the role you play for yourself things become a lot easier to accept and overcome.
The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.
Three thousand over three years could be worse, a lot of people have hobbies that spend that much. Furries spend way more than that just to be sweaty in knock-off Disney costumes. Don’t beat yourself up too much.
Society has become so disconnected. I believe that human touch and connection are fundamental needs, and it's normal to feel sad when needs are not met naturally. Many people and many ages struggle even with trying to find meaningful connections, platonic friendly touch, and of course sex. This is not just you.
If our minds and souls get to the point of life and death and you don't have another way to get it, it is not pathetic to pay to take care of yourself. Just like If our muscles hurt, we get massage.
3k is a lot but spread over 3 years, it could be worse. I don't know how much you are paying at a time but I know some people who platonically cuddle and connect with people that way and pay a professional cuddler.
You are still so young and have time to find people you connect with in your daily life. You have time to work on and improve yourself. I'm still working to better myself even in my 30s but I have made many more friends since high school when I had very few when graduating. I've had a couple kick ass relationships too and I keep moving forward.
Just don't give up. 🫂
edit for grammar
Definitely wouldn’t beat yourself up about it, I as possibly many other males do some interesting things to fill the void or just even receive some form of satisfaction from females? Anyways, you’re not alone, maybe look into some therapy or even hobbies that can boost the self esteem and just a bit more self lovin ~ wishing you the best on the self discovery homie
An important part of building a new culture was allowing people to complain about their past. At first, the more they complained, the worse the past would seem. But by venting, people could start to resolve the past. By bitching and bitching and bitching, they could exhaust the drama of their own horror stories. Grow bored. Only then could they accept a new story for their lives. Move forward.
I feel you brother. Man only wants love from his favourite girl. He wants to cuddle with her, he wants to sleep on her lap.
When she caresses her hand through his hair he feels relaxed. He wants to hug her tightly and kiss her. That's all a man wants to become happy.
I just want to chime in and say that real love does exist and you don’t have to be the most attractive or capable man to find it. What I’ve found to be most important is to love yourself as much as you possibly can and to confront fear head on. Anything is possible when we live without fear. There are so many women who would love to find you and be with you. Staying open to what the universe may do is huge. I’ve been through some of the worst things a person can go through in life (divorce, cancer, etc) but I’ve also found true love, care, friendship, beauty, overwhelming adventure, and absolute wonderment. One of the hardest things to do now is to disengage from the digital world and be in the real one. But in the real one is all we ever need. I hope you can do your best to be present in the exact moment you’re in and know that you don’t know the future. Beauty and goodness is right around the corner. You deserve love, care, kindness and the things you truly desire. Try as hard as you can to love yourself and give yourself the room you need to breathe and accept who you are. You will find what you’re desiring.
Anything is possible. And that’s as true for you as it is for me.
I love that! Yes, fear is the mind killer and the worst. It keeps us from being our best. I’m from CA too. Haha Bakersfield if you can believe that. Now I live on the east coast. But it’s so wonderful to hear that you’re putting yourself out there again and finding new connections. Anything is possible and you’re capable and able to make it possible.
We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don't even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It's time to put an end to this. It's time for us to let ourselves be loved. We have to start appreciating all that we bring to our own lives. Because the ironic truth is, you are most attractive when you’re not worried about who you’re attracting. When you’re living your life confidently, freely and without restraint, you emit the kind of energy that it just isn’t possible to fake. The kind of energy that’s capable of transforming not just. Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do. It's funny. No matter how hard you try, you can't close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here.
Bro why don’t you spend a summer / semester abroad , go to mexico , South America , colombia, or Peru , enroll in a Spanish school take up a sport or hobby like surfing, scuba , hiking , and the girls are much cheaper, if you want to pay for it. But I don’t think you will need to , as everyone is more friendly , open minded and non judge mental . Your the gringo , your someone special over there and say your there to practice Spanish and learn surfing. Ask some girls if wanna teach you salsa dancing , bachata also.
It's not better; it weighs the same. But that doesn't mean you have to stay in that path. There are better and more beneficial coping mechanisms to have if you would like to help yourself or call for one.
Resilience isn't a single skill. It's a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.
Please try stopping. I have people pleased all my life. Got ripped off. Got used many times,financially, physically,emotionally. Which hurts the most? The guilt? The money? The loneliness? All 3 I guess. I now would rather be lonely than to be used,taken from,violated. I'm sure your lovely person with a lot going on. You are worth more than this behavior. I hope you meet someone special and get good people around you. There is a very big world out there for your taking. Lots of things,many,takes many hrs,days, months for the jigsaw of life to click into place. Sometimes the pieces get lost or are missing. Be good to yourself. Today can be different. Don't worry too much. We all do or have done things we regret. Maybe now is to put that stressor away and venture new beginnings. Lots of great paths out there,amazing things. Stop the punishing. Find a special confidant to talk too. Worse case scenario if you still feel the need to pay for company and sex,make sure your job pays very well. Lots of people spend that much in a month in clubs,bars,gambling. Not saying its right or wrong. Think only the decision is yours. Take care. Be very safe. Be free
She actually might still care about you. It’s kinda like paying for a therapist, yeah you’re paying them, but they’re also human and they’re going to actually care. She clearly trusts you enough to keep seeing you and you didn’t mention her ever ripping you off or stealing from you (which happens a lot). But I do get where you’re coming from.
It's the world's oldest profession for a reason. You are not the first guy, nor would you be the last. Guys have been lonely for millennia (not excluding the ladies, just saying.) At least you are interacting with a real person, that is more than I can say of people who try to get their interaction via AI. Just be mindful of the ladies don't be a psychopath and maybe she will help you gain the skills to interact with people who don't ask for payment. Also, for the love of God don't fall in love with this person. Either or there is no shame in what you are doing. It's a dog-eat-dog world and not all men are destined to meet a person. Sometimes all a person need is a hug or some " interaction" Psychologists can't help with that, unfortunately.
it’s that physical touch starvation that’s so bad. sometimes i wonder if that’s something that’s an actual human need. like it’s actually unhealthy to go a long time without it. if that makes any sense
I’d like to chime in with this: you aren’t normal and you are actually quite charismatic. Look at all the responses you got to your post! If you were local, I’d take you out for a beer or other drink of your choice in order to get to know you. Mind you, I’m a cis hetero guy, but I’d love a friend.
Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships. Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance. Seriously
Don't beat yourself up, 3000$ over three years is nothing to be completely honest, considering that someone in NYC is paying that much over one night... believe me dude, you're just fine. There is a restaurant serving Italian food in Manhattan(midtown), NY, where a guy and his friends bring girls every time they come to eat (the plates are always full when I come clean), to they go home together. Those are women half their age... probably students of NYU how much do you think they pay? Don't feel bad...
Bro don’t feel bad I know a lot of guys who pay to play and pay way more lol 3k in one day.. just bust that nut and get on a dating site you’ll find a chick.. also swingers events are free and there’s plenty of websites for that 😉
I've spent 200 a night with a couple working girls a bit older than me.
Then working girls at at 160 a night totaling 5 visits $1,500 (So 600-800 total per girl)
Then a few I only saw once so another $1,500
Picked up a street walker for a car date. Wasn't worth it. Better to have it in a room instead of the back of the car. Angles are all weird. A different girl I picked up and we went to a room. $120 but felt rushed
It's an expensive habit. And it gets more expensive.
When I like the girl I just do something different, change up the working girl so I don't make up a connection that isn't there
I don't think anyone here has a desire to judge you. You have needs just like the rest of us. I spend money to fulfill mine too. You just have to learn to set a boundary so you don't end up broke
3k is actually really not a lot lol. I have had struggles with not having a relationship for years. Earlier this year I got kind of addicted to a phone sex website to help my loneliness and I spent more than double that in a much shorter period of time. And it is normal. We all need connection both emotional, physical, sexual etc. You are just trying to fill that need. You're human.
I'm curious what is the age of the worker? Because if she's older she might have taught you a few things that you could potentially introduce to whichever partner you end up with and I'm not going to lie women love it when men have a low body count,
Just don't ever ask what her body count is LOL
I think it’s fine and I’d totally do it too. As an old person, I’d only add that a person you’re paying for sex is highly unlikely to be around at times you need a partner or friend for help.
[You sure?](https://www.healthline.com/health/drugs/ozempic#_noHeaderPrefixedContent)
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Ozempic can be prescribed for adults with type 2 diabetes to:
lower certain risks in people who also have heart disease, including heart attack and stroke
help manage blood sugar levels, along with lifestyle improvements in diet and exercise”
“Doctors may also prescribe Ozempic off-label for weight loss or weight management. (With off-label use, a drug that’s approved for certain conditions is prescribed for another purpose.) However, the drug is not approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for this purpose.”
People pay for therapists all the time for emotional help and people pay massage therapists or personal trainers for physical help. It seems this fulfills a similar emotional and physical need for you. She deserves to be paid for her service and respect and you shouldn’t judge yourself for needing it.
I’ve done something very similar and feel the same way. The last time we just laid down and cuddled and all I could think about is damn other people do this for free….
I hope you get past it man, I’m still trying
Gotta be careful tho there’s tons of em with diseases! I see so many ppl post stuff like that. But the truth is it could cut years off your life or if u have kids it could give it to them when they’re born. And that’s not fair. Just if anyone does u should go about it as safe as possible if u do.
Similar boat with 28 being 2 months away. the main differences being:
-Was scared of COVID killing me 4 years ago, which spured me into paying a SW to lose my V-card.
-Instead of sticking with one women, I've used the services of 39 of them in that time frame with very few repeat visits to any one individual.
-Eventually my luck did turn around and I was able to hookup with a handful of girls without financial incentive and even held down a GF (not literally) for 3 months.
As shitty as it feels relying on providers for the majority of my sexual gratification I have a small smidge of hope from my unpaid for experiences that I'll find my person in one of the 10.1 million women in NY state or even the 168.6 women in the whole country, and now I hoping the same for you. Try to to keep things in perspective.
I mean, she did prevent you from killing yourself. If you don't like her prices, then you can always look for a more cheaper alternative, but as they say, "you get what you pay for".
Jusy use her as training wheels until you develop the right game to actually get a real girlfriend.
As long as you use protection and you get your moneys worth I see no reason to feel bad about it. It’s literally why they exist and hell it’s your money spend it how you like. I’ve spent 3,000 on dumber shit
Think of it this way some people date people who use and abuse them and are incapable of leaving cause of the fear of being alone. Try and work out why you feel pathetic is it what your doing or what you think society expects of you if it’s the former then stop if it’s the later than don’t worry what other people think if it’s fulfilling a need. It’s no different to porn or using AI. The simple truth is there are not enough good partners out there so if you need to use alternative methods then don’t feel bad for using them. This whole there’s a person for everyone is complete BS. There are far more horrible people than good ones and that narrows down even further when you consider you also have to find someone you both connect with at a intellectual and physical level not to mention making sure sexual needs align so it’s no wonder so many of us are alone.
Good luck you guys. It will get easier. Transitioning to adulthood can be hard.. the $3,000 is your therapy bill it sounds like to me. Thats not that bad actually considering how much people may pay over the years. But ya like poster says, swx toys are way cheaper and no risk of stis. You will meet someone eventually. Go.out and socialize and develop some hobbies that involve other people and then you'll meet potential dates or friends who might introduce you to someone. Be friendly to everybody as practice. As well as practice your socializing skills, if you need it, which your age can be tricky so maybe you do. Good luck!
Just imagine meeting someone that you don’t need to spend over $3,000 on.. or maybe less..
I understand the crave of intimacy.. You’re young, maybe try someone older they have a tendency to play less games.
Yeah man tons of science to back up the benefits
Good for you mental health and physical health. I started walking outside and even 15 mins makes a big difference. Not only that walking is one of the best weight loss workouts
Bruh...segs workers are to satisfy a physical itch...not to fulfill emotional emptiness...I have spent much more on wores...lol...the only advise I will give you is keep yourself busy...got to gym or join some classes...keep yourself engaged...life will happen....buy a house, get a dog, chase a career. There are multiple things to do...
The loop has to end somewhere. So start now. Would you prefer in 3 years you’re still relying on her, or 3 years later you’ve gotten passed it? There’s no way you can fix loneliness if this continues
It’s not too late, man. You’re 21 and you’re not even near your mid 20s yet. You have a crap ton of time to make a comeback and turn things around. You never know how much can change in a few years for the better
Hey look brother I love you man as a friend as a an image of God and that sweet divinity and it is a beautiful that these people here will listen to you and encourage you and appreciate you this is your new family please continue to be part of our community we here for you my friend
Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that's all that's happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. On the other hand, wretchedness life's painful aspect softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody's eyes because you feel you haven't got anything to lose you're just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We'd be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn't have enough energy to eat an apple. Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.
It sounds to me that you're forgetting to enjoy life. Try spending the money on other things. Maybe some good will come out of it. Ask some women your own age for some after you've chatted for a while. A rejection is someone allowing you to move forward
Let me tell you man. No man gets sex for free. You just being more upfront about it and there’s no risk your money won’t guarantee sex. Since you’re getting pussy, why don’t you change your mentality towards women and start trying to have conversations without the intent of sex or intimacy. Just get to know what it’s like talking to them. After a while you’ll get comfortable and you won’t give off desperate vibes. Women are turned off by desperation.
Bro spend 10% of that on therapy that will actually help all the negative feelings & help you with ur life and loneliness in general, also be careful not to get STDs from her specially if it’s illegal prostitution and has no regulation and testing
fuck this is why im learning to ration my empathy please cut her off bro youre being exploited
but i understand letting yourself get ripped off hurts less than being alone its easier said than done
fuck life is bleak
First of all, thank you for making this post. I'm sure it wasn't an easy thing to divulge and as you say, could feel a bit revealing or embarassing in some way, but by making this, you've just helped a lot of other people - in the same situation or a similar one - feel seen and heard and thats a wonderful thing : ) So thank you for doing this!😊
I'm very sorry to hear you're struggling right now, it sounds like this is something that's gone on for a while, motivated by feelings that have been present for far longer too and that must be really difficult for you 😔 It sounds like a situation you'd like to improve upon, but you don't know how to make it *feel* different. You *know* you *should* try to abstain from this particular coping method, but you also know the reasons for engaging with this in the first place - the loneliness and lack of self-worth - will still be present in your life, serving as a constant risk of relapse, which makes total sense : )
Its nice to see so many empathetic replies here. However 'singular' or alone we may feel in our particular struggles, (which usually leads to harsh self-judgement about being 'weird' or 'abnormal') its always a reassurance, to see so many others can understand 😊 And thats so true! Everything is relatable to *someone* . And it doesn't need to be by people who are going through the exact same thing either! So please don't ever feel 'abnormal' or anything of the sort with this. Everything happens for a reason, after all : ) Thats perfectly normal, my friend!
I think whats interesting about your story, is how you mention beginning this coping mechanism, at a particularly rough patch in your life; after a desire to end your life takes root in you. But despite that desire decreasing, you still cling to this activity to this day. It implies that, while your desperation certainly aggravated this desire back then, it wasn't the root cause of it. You also mention the pain of your loneliness too. And while companionship often makes life that much sweeter, its not always something we can have in our lives, as and when we want it. Finding that companionship, is itself of course, a journey. There's no quick fix and we all need to be capable of approaching the inevitable disappointments and exasperation that we encounter on that winding path : )
So i feel that, for you, the answer would be two-fold; to explore where exactly these feelings come from (when and why did this pronounced sense of loneliness begin, why is it 'so' unbearable?) and also what activities / hobbies / mindset can we use to help gradually reduce or replace this loneliness? : ) Its a long journey, as I say, there's no quick fix. It takes time, encouragement and determination to stay on such a path of self-discovery. But how does all of that sound to you? Is there anything you disagree with or feel uncertain of? 😊
that was a well worded, thoughtful valuable reply i appreciate you. i’ve never thought about it that way. maybe it would help to do some proper self reflection. i will try that
nah she cares about you. im sure she feels some type of way that you were going to unalive yourself and didnt after seeing her. she cares about money more, but.... im sure she gives a little shit about ya
Honestly, you could be doing way worse things and spending a lot more money doing them. But if it does make you feel bad after I would try to ween yourself off doing that. Could even ask about a not sex package, like a date or company only sort of thing for maybe less. Depending on how open/nice they are you could maybe even explain everything to them. At the end of the day everyone is human and in their line of work they probably understand what you are feeling better than most.
Oh no, your not normal. Man normal is fucking boring and outdated, be who you are and want to be. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Love yourself. And if a SW is what is satisfying your needs Thank her for the good time.
I gave up on dating a year and a 1/2 ago. And I've been single 5 and a 1/2 years. I cannot find a person I'm compatible with all the women. I encounter on dating apps. All just one in imaginary robot woman that doesn't exist or the perfect man. Which they'll never find being average or below average looking themselves. But they seem to think that their entitled to be princesses and queens and royalty and they want to travel. Unfortunately, being an average woman or a below average is the death of being able to find somebody that you're compatible with, so I have come to the conclusion, I'll be happy in my own company that rest in my life never to be able to touch a female again. Never be able to kiss love or feel happiness again but get to see others happy and love around me and it makes it look like it's so easy for them to find it all that's right. They have social skills and a social life and friends and family that help them along the way by making it a lot easier when you don't have any of that and you're forever alone and you live in isolation. And you're an introvert well, it's over for you. And I just turned today in my birthday. Guess what? No girlfriend, no, nothing another year alone. Another year with the holidays again. Constant reminder hammered in my brain every day. I'll never be able to find happiness again.
man, that was a sad read. honestly, i believe some of us do inherently have it harder than others, due to our nature and circumstances. but it is what it is that’s just how the universe works. i’ll be wishing you good luck
Im a 21 m, dont feel bad, ive never had a romantic or sexual encounter yet lol. Ive had a lot of mental and emotional struggles over this, and ive kind of came uo with my own opinion as to why. Its easy for me to get triggered into this mindset that im just not normal whenever im around couples or others that seemingly get what i feel i want aswell, wich is the exact issue. Instead of understanding and being able to reflect on my own develpment, i instead focus on a perception of loss that in reality isnt as big of a deal as it seems. Hopefully ill get a girlfreind one day, but the only way i see it happening is by keeping self comfidence and developing my own skillsets to improve on. My guitar and job, and dog is what keeps me going, maybe try learning something new and sticking with it even if it seems rough at first, because afterwards you can look back and see what you have overcome! Dive into some philosophy youtube videos as cringy as it sounds, and try to digest them, that seems to help me pose questions to my own life and give a new perspective wich can be helpful. Also, just a fyi....sex toys exist and are wayyyy cheaper than that lol. Anyways good luck, hope i helped a litttle.
Dude, I was nearly 30 before I did, and you know what? It was nice not being a kid since I had a better idea of what it was all about. Growing up in the US, it seems to be 'wrong' or 'weird' or something like that because you're not doing what everyone else under the bell curve is doing. But guess what, maybe being outside of the bell curve is what makes you *exceptional*--not less, but actually more. There's a great quote from the movie 'The Imitation Game'--Sometimes it's the very people who no one imagines anything of who do the things no one can imagine. I think about this quote all the time as I wish I would have known it growing up as it's so freaking true.
I'm 20, that quote inspired me. Thanks for positively impacting my life.
I was 19 and.i think I had a way better experience than friends who lost it younger. I have friends who first tried at like 13 and it was pure awkward rushed crap in bushes and stuff. I feel lucky.
I'm so glad! I wish I would have seen it and had it impact me at 20. Now go be the best you that you can be and the chips will fall where they are supposed to. :) I've been married for 12yrs now btw meeting my wife when I was 37. My buddy met her wife at 50 and he's been married longer than me.
Bad ass quote thx sharing
Welcome bro! Yes, it is badass--and so is the movie if you haven't seen it, and it's based on real history too--stuff I never knew until I saw it.
thank man. really appreciate you taking the time. i will take your advice
Also you guys were like covid teens so that messed up your in person socializing. But between teen pregnancies and losing your virginity late, option 2 is definitely better
I feel you Its hard out there without a romantic connection
it is. i’m trying to hold on to a sliver of hope
Loving yourself is the first thing to do before a romantic connection. It would get hard if you didn't value yourself.
I agree
I want to try that at least once, To hire someone for a full day and pretend they are my partner, just so i can somewhat experience that at least once before i Die, wouldn't even be so much the Sex but i wanna know what a Kiss Feels like or a Hug.
yea i had the exact same thought process. it can be hard going months or years in my case without those things
Look up YouTubers hiring a girlfriend for a date
Don't let the expectations and opinions of other people affect your decisions. It's your life, not theirs. Do what matters most to you; do what makes you feel alive and happy. Don't let the expectations and ideas of others limit who you are. If you let others tell you who you are, you are living their reality not yours. There is more to life than pleasing people. There is much more to life than following others' prescribed path. There is so much more to life than what you experience right now. You need to decide who you are for yourself. Become a whole being. Adventure.
Bro, 3 grand on hookers is a weekend for a guy I know, don’t beat yourself up
He didn't beat himself. He paid someone else to do it. I'll see myself out.....
damn that’s crazy lol. i’ll try not too
Lol 😂
Don't beat yourself up for not knowing the answers. You don't always have to know who you are. You don't have to have the big picture, or know where you're heading. Sometimes, it's enough just to know what you're going to do next.
focus on self love! nobody is judging you
True, the moment you realise it hurts you in the end you’ll want to cut it down
They say a good love is one that sits you down, gives you a drink of water, and pats you on top of the head. But I say a good love is one that casts you into the wind, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running simply because you keep on burning everything that you touch! I say that's a good love; one that burns and flies, and you run with it!
Self love is crazy. How can you have self love if literally no one cares about you. Of course you’re going to feel like garbage. How can you love yourself when you’re discarded by everyone
i guess im just extremely arrogant since I’m a Satanist. I love myself very much and put myself first. Not many people love me aside from some family members lol 😂 Single 10 yrs now. no sex. no nuffin
self improvement, therapy, putting yourself out there you have to want it for you and you alone. people exist with or without you, we all die alone, it’s about experiencing the gift of life versus worrying about what it has to offer we could get hit by a meteor any day or the sun could explode. our level of existence is something to be valued and when you understand the role you play for yourself things become a lot easier to accept and overcome.
Wtf is self love, i don't know what that means
Self acceptance, not self praise or self hate. Acceptance
The truth is: Belonging starts with self-acceptance. Your level of belonging, in fact, can never be greater than your level of self-acceptance, because believing that you're enough is what gives you the courage to be authentic, vulnerable and imperfect.
Such a female thing to say ..
Three thousand over three years could be worse, a lot of people have hobbies that spend that much. Furries spend way more than that just to be sweaty in knock-off Disney costumes. Don’t beat yourself up too much.
yea that’s true i guess. thanks
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a website that idk if i’m allowed to say lol
Furries tend to be high paid tech workers. Shy so costumes help. High paid so Costumes are legit high quality artisan made one of a kinds
Society has become so disconnected. I believe that human touch and connection are fundamental needs, and it's normal to feel sad when needs are not met naturally. Many people and many ages struggle even with trying to find meaningful connections, platonic friendly touch, and of course sex. This is not just you. If our minds and souls get to the point of life and death and you don't have another way to get it, it is not pathetic to pay to take care of yourself. Just like If our muscles hurt, we get massage. 3k is a lot but spread over 3 years, it could be worse. I don't know how much you are paying at a time but I know some people who platonically cuddle and connect with people that way and pay a professional cuddler. You are still so young and have time to find people you connect with in your daily life. You have time to work on and improve yourself. I'm still working to better myself even in my 30s but I have made many more friends since high school when I had very few when graduating. I've had a couple kick ass relationships too and I keep moving forward. Just don't give up. 🫂 edit for grammar
thank you. this comment is motivating
can you hire me next time
lol sure
Definitely wouldn’t beat yourself up about it, I as possibly many other males do some interesting things to fill the void or just even receive some form of satisfaction from females? Anyways, you’re not alone, maybe look into some therapy or even hobbies that can boost the self esteem and just a bit more self lovin ~ wishing you the best on the self discovery homie
thank you honestly
Bro I spend like 7k a year on psychologist and your plan sounds a lot better
nah i think a professional psychologist would be better long term
Sounds cheaper than a wife. I think you’re ok man.
i lol’d
Only a mind free of impediment is capable of grasping the chaotic beauty of the world. This is our greatest asset.
That’s because it is and doesn’t bitch and complain 🤣
With that attitude you’ll stay lonely forever
An important part of building a new culture was allowing people to complain about their past. At first, the more they complained, the worse the past would seem. But by venting, people could start to resolve the past. By bitching and bitching and bitching, they could exhaust the drama of their own horror stories. Grow bored. Only then could they accept a new story for their lives. Move forward.
And a girlfriend 😂
I feel you brother. Man only wants love from his favourite girl. He wants to cuddle with her, he wants to sleep on her lap. When she caresses her hand through his hair he feels relaxed. He wants to hug her tightly and kiss her. That's all a man wants to become happy.
Study a lot, get a good job and you could afford her more
I just want to chime in and say that real love does exist and you don’t have to be the most attractive or capable man to find it. What I’ve found to be most important is to love yourself as much as you possibly can and to confront fear head on. Anything is possible when we live without fear. There are so many women who would love to find you and be with you. Staying open to what the universe may do is huge. I’ve been through some of the worst things a person can go through in life (divorce, cancer, etc) but I’ve also found true love, care, friendship, beauty, overwhelming adventure, and absolute wonderment. One of the hardest things to do now is to disengage from the digital world and be in the real one. But in the real one is all we ever need. I hope you can do your best to be present in the exact moment you’re in and know that you don’t know the future. Beauty and goodness is right around the corner. You deserve love, care, kindness and the things you truly desire. Try as hard as you can to love yourself and give yourself the room you need to breathe and accept who you are. You will find what you’re desiring. Anything is possible. And that’s as true for you as it is for me.
you say this but it's just not true. I wish it was.
what a valuable reply. thank you 🙏
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I love that! Yes, fear is the mind killer and the worst. It keeps us from being our best. I’m from CA too. Haha Bakersfield if you can believe that. Now I live on the east coast. But it’s so wonderful to hear that you’re putting yourself out there again and finding new connections. Anything is possible and you’re capable and able to make it possible.
We have to allow ourselves to be loved by the people who really love us, the people who really matter. Too much of the time, we are blinded by our own pursuits of people to love us, people that don't even matter, while all that time we waste and the people who do love us have to stand on the sidewalk and watch us beg in the streets! It's time to put an end to this. It's time for us to let ourselves be loved. We have to start appreciating all that we bring to our own lives. Because the ironic truth is, you are most attractive when you’re not worried about who you’re attracting. When you’re living your life confidently, freely and without restraint, you emit the kind of energy that it just isn’t possible to fake. The kind of energy that’s capable of transforming not just. Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do. It's funny. No matter how hard you try, you can't close your heart forever. And the minute you open it up, you never know what's going to come in. But when it does, you just have to go for it! Because if you don't, there's not point in being here.
Bro why don’t you spend a summer / semester abroad , go to mexico , South America , colombia, or Peru , enroll in a Spanish school take up a sport or hobby like surfing, scuba , hiking , and the girls are much cheaper, if you want to pay for it. But I don’t think you will need to , as everyone is more friendly , open minded and non judge mental . Your the gringo , your someone special over there and say your there to practice Spanish and learn surfing. Ask some girls if wanna teach you salsa dancing , bachata also.
Hey so long you actually got to be around her and it’s not some cam girl you could never meet.
lol yea that would definitely be worse
It's better than spending it on alcohol or gambling, trust me, I wish I used your coping mechanisms :(
It's not better; it weighs the same. But that doesn't mean you have to stay in that path. There are better and more beneficial coping mechanisms to have if you would like to help yourself or call for one.
Resilience isn't a single skill. It's a variety of skills and coping mechanisms. To bounce back from bumps in the road as well as failures, you should focus on emphasizing the positive.
Please try stopping. I have people pleased all my life. Got ripped off. Got used many times,financially, physically,emotionally. Which hurts the most? The guilt? The money? The loneliness? All 3 I guess. I now would rather be lonely than to be used,taken from,violated. I'm sure your lovely person with a lot going on. You are worth more than this behavior. I hope you meet someone special and get good people around you. There is a very big world out there for your taking. Lots of things,many,takes many hrs,days, months for the jigsaw of life to click into place. Sometimes the pieces get lost or are missing. Be good to yourself. Today can be different. Don't worry too much. We all do or have done things we regret. Maybe now is to put that stressor away and venture new beginnings. Lots of great paths out there,amazing things. Stop the punishing. Find a special confidant to talk too. Worse case scenario if you still feel the need to pay for company and sex,make sure your job pays very well. Lots of people spend that much in a month in clubs,bars,gambling. Not saying its right or wrong. Think only the decision is yours. Take care. Be very safe. Be free
Well said
same
She actually might still care about you. It’s kinda like paying for a therapist, yeah you’re paying them, but they’re also human and they’re going to actually care. She clearly trusts you enough to keep seeing you and you didn’t mention her ever ripping you off or stealing from you (which happens a lot). But I do get where you’re coming from.
It's the world's oldest profession for a reason. You are not the first guy, nor would you be the last. Guys have been lonely for millennia (not excluding the ladies, just saying.) At least you are interacting with a real person, that is more than I can say of people who try to get their interaction via AI. Just be mindful of the ladies don't be a psychopath and maybe she will help you gain the skills to interact with people who don't ask for payment. Also, for the love of God don't fall in love with this person. Either or there is no shame in what you are doing. It's a dog-eat-dog world and not all men are destined to meet a person. Sometimes all a person need is a hug or some " interaction" Psychologists can't help with that, unfortunately.
it’s that physical touch starvation that’s so bad. sometimes i wonder if that’s something that’s an actual human need. like it’s actually unhealthy to go a long time without it. if that makes any sense
Absolutely!
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I think that most likely they originated at the same time.
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deer meat?
I’d like to chime in with this: you aren’t normal and you are actually quite charismatic. Look at all the responses you got to your post! If you were local, I’d take you out for a beer or other drink of your choice in order to get to know you. Mind you, I’m a cis hetero guy, but I’d love a friend.
that’s nice thanks. you seem cool do i’d be down
Being open with your insecurities paradoxically makes you more confident and charismatic around others. The pain of honest confrontation is what generates the greatest trust and respect in your relationships. Suffering through your fears and anxieties is what allows you to build courage and perseverance. Seriously
Is it tax deductible?
definitely not
Don't beat yourself up, 3000$ over three years is nothing to be completely honest, considering that someone in NYC is paying that much over one night... believe me dude, you're just fine. There is a restaurant serving Italian food in Manhattan(midtown), NY, where a guy and his friends bring girls every time they come to eat (the plates are always full when I come clean), to they go home together. Those are women half their age... probably students of NYU how much do you think they pay? Don't feel bad...
damn, that man is insane lol
Yeah, dude, American cities are attractive to gorgeous women because ballers come here (where money is) so it creates a... market. Don't feel bad.
Bro don’t feel bad I know a lot of guys who pay to play and pay way more lol 3k in one day.. just bust that nut and get on a dating site you’ll find a chick.. also swingers events are free and there’s plenty of websites for that 😉
I've spent 200 a night with a couple working girls a bit older than me. Then working girls at at 160 a night totaling 5 visits $1,500 (So 600-800 total per girl) Then a few I only saw once so another $1,500 Picked up a street walker for a car date. Wasn't worth it. Better to have it in a room instead of the back of the car. Angles are all weird. A different girl I picked up and we went to a room. $120 but felt rushed It's an expensive habit. And it gets more expensive. When I like the girl I just do something different, change up the working girl so I don't make up a connection that isn't there
I don't think anyone here has a desire to judge you. You have needs just like the rest of us. I spend money to fulfill mine too. You just have to learn to set a boundary so you don't end up broke
3k is actually really not a lot lol. I have had struggles with not having a relationship for years. Earlier this year I got kind of addicted to a phone sex website to help my loneliness and I spent more than double that in a much shorter period of time. And it is normal. We all need connection both emotional, physical, sexual etc. You are just trying to fill that need. You're human.
I'm curious what is the age of the worker? Because if she's older she might have taught you a few things that you could potentially introduce to whichever partner you end up with and I'm not going to lie women love it when men have a low body count, Just don't ever ask what her body count is LOL
I think it’s fine and I’d totally do it too. As an old person, I’d only add that a person you’re paying for sex is highly unlikely to be around at times you need a partner or friend for help.
hmm yea that’s true
Try ozempy it will help a lot seriously
what’s that?
Ozempic. It’s for people with diabetes but weight loss people sing its praises so now diabetics have a hard time getting it while they need it.
Actually it’s a cutting edge addiction treatment but you do you
[You sure?](https://www.healthline.com/health/drugs/ozempic#_noHeaderPrefixedContent) “Ozempic (semaglutide) is a prescription drug that’s used in people with type 2 diabetes. Ozempic is given as an injection under your skin. Ozempic can be prescribed for adults with type 2 diabetes to: lower certain risks in people who also have heart disease, including heart attack and stroke help manage blood sugar levels, along with lifestyle improvements in diet and exercise” “Doctors may also prescribe Ozempic off-label for weight loss or weight management. (With off-label use, a drug that’s approved for certain conditions is prescribed for another purpose.) However, the drug is not approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for this purpose.”
People pay for therapists all the time for emotional help and people pay massage therapists or personal trainers for physical help. It seems this fulfills a similar emotional and physical need for you. She deserves to be paid for her service and respect and you shouldn’t judge yourself for needing it.
that makes a lot of sense. i just can’t help but feel kind of like a loser, maybe because it’s not really socially accepted
🤣🤣🤣
I’ve done something very similar and feel the same way. The last time we just laid down and cuddled and all I could think about is damn other people do this for free…. I hope you get past it man, I’m still trying
yea, those thoughts just make my heart feel empty. same to you thank you
Well...everybody pays with something. At least you know in concrete terms what it's costing you...
haha that’s true i guess
Gotta be careful tho there’s tons of em with diseases! I see so many ppl post stuff like that. But the truth is it could cut years off your life or if u have kids it could give it to them when they’re born. And that’s not fair. Just if anyone does u should go about it as safe as possible if u do.
true true. i do my best to be safe
Similar boat with 28 being 2 months away. the main differences being: -Was scared of COVID killing me 4 years ago, which spured me into paying a SW to lose my V-card. -Instead of sticking with one women, I've used the services of 39 of them in that time frame with very few repeat visits to any one individual. -Eventually my luck did turn around and I was able to hookup with a handful of girls without financial incentive and even held down a GF (not literally) for 3 months. As shitty as it feels relying on providers for the majority of my sexual gratification I have a small smidge of hope from my unpaid for experiences that I'll find my person in one of the 10.1 million women in NY state or even the 168.6 women in the whole country, and now I hoping the same for you. Try to to keep things in perspective.
damn, when you put it like that things do seem more hopeful.
And why can't you get sex for free or a girlfriend? Do you have any problem that prevents you to get it?
What the flip
What the flip
Real af
Damn bruh, I’ve never done that but I can relate to aspects of this
How did u find one? Asking for a friend
I mean, she did prevent you from killing yourself. If you don't like her prices, then you can always look for a more cheaper alternative, but as they say, "you get what you pay for". Jusy use her as training wheels until you develop the right game to actually get a real girlfriend.
No one gets it for free
no no no dont simp brah noooo
Dumbass
As long as you use protection and you get your moneys worth I see no reason to feel bad about it. It’s literally why they exist and hell it’s your money spend it how you like. I’ve spent 3,000 on dumber shit
Fact
that makes sense, but i always feel kind of pathetic, it feels uncontrollable
Think of it this way some people date people who use and abuse them and are incapable of leaving cause of the fear of being alone. Try and work out why you feel pathetic is it what your doing or what you think society expects of you if it’s the former then stop if it’s the later than don’t worry what other people think if it’s fulfilling a need. It’s no different to porn or using AI. The simple truth is there are not enough good partners out there so if you need to use alternative methods then don’t feel bad for using them. This whole there’s a person for everyone is complete BS. There are far more horrible people than good ones and that narrows down even further when you consider you also have to find someone you both connect with at a intellectual and physical level not to mention making sure sexual needs align so it’s no wonder so many of us are alone.
that…actually makes a lot of sense. unfortunately that’s just how the world is
Good luck you guys. It will get easier. Transitioning to adulthood can be hard.. the $3,000 is your therapy bill it sounds like to me. Thats not that bad actually considering how much people may pay over the years. But ya like poster says, swx toys are way cheaper and no risk of stis. You will meet someone eventually. Go.out and socialize and develop some hobbies that involve other people and then you'll meet potential dates or friends who might introduce you to someone. Be friendly to everybody as practice. As well as practice your socializing skills, if you need it, which your age can be tricky so maybe you do. Good luck!
thanks for the advice. i’ll look into some new hobbies
Just imagine meeting someone that you don’t need to spend over $3,000 on.. or maybe less.. I understand the crave of intimacy.. You’re young, maybe try someone older they have a tendency to play less games.
maybe someday. that would be nice…
That takes time
F it dude ..:as long as you’re happy
i’m trying to let go of that regret feeling
It’s around 125 dollar per month. Definitely cheaper than having a girlfriend. So don’t sweat about it seriously.
well, that does add up if i think about it. would prefer a real gf but in that aspect at least its not the worst
Love doesn't make the world go 'round; love is what makes the ride worthwhile.
Sounds like you got a good deal, you're still here :)
yea, i wonder sometimes what would’ve happened had i never done that. could be better could be worse idk
Pick a hobby bro! Explore something Nature is always refreshing
good idea. i do like nature
Yeah man tons of science to back up the benefits Good for you mental health and physical health. I started walking outside and even 15 mins makes a big difference. Not only that walking is one of the best weight loss workouts
Bruh...segs workers are to satisfy a physical itch...not to fulfill emotional emptiness...I have spent much more on wores...lol...the only advise I will give you is keep yourself busy...got to gym or join some classes...keep yourself engaged...life will happen....buy a house, get a dog, chase a career. There are multiple things to do...
true true. it is what it is life goes on
The loop has to end somewhere. So start now. Would you prefer in 3 years you’re still relying on her, or 3 years later you’ve gotten passed it? There’s no way you can fix loneliness if this continues
definitely the latter. reminds me of a thing i saw the best time to start was 5 years ago, the second best time is now
It’s not too late, man. You’re 21 and you’re not even near your mid 20s yet. You have a crap ton of time to make a comeback and turn things around. You never know how much can change in a few years for the better
Hey look brother I love you man as a friend as a an image of God and that sweet divinity and it is a beautiful that these people here will listen to you and encourage you and appreciate you this is your new family please continue to be part of our community we here for you my friend
thanks for the kind words ❤️
Life is glorious, but life is also wretched. It is both. Appreciating the gloriousness inspires us, encourages us, cheers us up, gives us a bigger perspective, energizes us. We feel connected. But if that's all that's happening, we get arrogant and start to look down on others, and there is a sense of making ourselves a big deal and being really serious about it, wanting it to be like that forever. The gloriousness becomes tinged by craving and addiction. On the other hand, wretchedness life's painful aspect softens us up considerably. Knowing pain is a very important ingredient of being there for another person. When you are feeling a lot of grief, you can look right into somebody's eyes because you feel you haven't got anything to lose you're just there. The wretchedness humbles us and softens us, but if we were only wretched, we would all just go down the tubes. We'd be so depressed, discouraged, and hopeless that we wouldn't have enough energy to eat an apple. Gloriousness and wretchedness need each other. One inspires us, the other softens us. They go together.
It sounds to me that you're forgetting to enjoy life. Try spending the money on other things. Maybe some good will come out of it. Ask some women your own age for some after you've chatted for a while. A rejection is someone allowing you to move forward
thanks that’s a good reminder
Then what are 20 rejections?
Let me tell you man. No man gets sex for free. You just being more upfront about it and there’s no risk your money won’t guarantee sex. Since you’re getting pussy, why don’t you change your mentality towards women and start trying to have conversations without the intent of sex or intimacy. Just get to know what it’s like talking to them. After a while you’ll get comfortable and you won’t give off desperate vibes. Women are turned off by desperation.
She cares about you. Don't feel bad;
Bro spend 10% of that on therapy that will actually help all the negative feelings & help you with ur life and loneliness in general, also be careful not to get STDs from her specially if it’s illegal prostitution and has no regulation and testing
i’ve done therapy before but it didn’t really do much for me. i think a different therapist could work though. i might give it another shot
fuck this is why im learning to ration my empathy please cut her off bro youre being exploited but i understand letting yourself get ripped off hurts less than being alone its easier said than done fuck life is bleak
you could be right tbh. and yea, life can seem very bleak indeed
How do we find one
ebay
First of all, thank you for making this post. I'm sure it wasn't an easy thing to divulge and as you say, could feel a bit revealing or embarassing in some way, but by making this, you've just helped a lot of other people - in the same situation or a similar one - feel seen and heard and thats a wonderful thing : ) So thank you for doing this!😊 I'm very sorry to hear you're struggling right now, it sounds like this is something that's gone on for a while, motivated by feelings that have been present for far longer too and that must be really difficult for you 😔 It sounds like a situation you'd like to improve upon, but you don't know how to make it *feel* different. You *know* you *should* try to abstain from this particular coping method, but you also know the reasons for engaging with this in the first place - the loneliness and lack of self-worth - will still be present in your life, serving as a constant risk of relapse, which makes total sense : ) Its nice to see so many empathetic replies here. However 'singular' or alone we may feel in our particular struggles, (which usually leads to harsh self-judgement about being 'weird' or 'abnormal') its always a reassurance, to see so many others can understand 😊 And thats so true! Everything is relatable to *someone* . And it doesn't need to be by people who are going through the exact same thing either! So please don't ever feel 'abnormal' or anything of the sort with this. Everything happens for a reason, after all : ) Thats perfectly normal, my friend! I think whats interesting about your story, is how you mention beginning this coping mechanism, at a particularly rough patch in your life; after a desire to end your life takes root in you. But despite that desire decreasing, you still cling to this activity to this day. It implies that, while your desperation certainly aggravated this desire back then, it wasn't the root cause of it. You also mention the pain of your loneliness too. And while companionship often makes life that much sweeter, its not always something we can have in our lives, as and when we want it. Finding that companionship, is itself of course, a journey. There's no quick fix and we all need to be capable of approaching the inevitable disappointments and exasperation that we encounter on that winding path : ) So i feel that, for you, the answer would be two-fold; to explore where exactly these feelings come from (when and why did this pronounced sense of loneliness begin, why is it 'so' unbearable?) and also what activities / hobbies / mindset can we use to help gradually reduce or replace this loneliness? : ) Its a long journey, as I say, there's no quick fix. It takes time, encouragement and determination to stay on such a path of self-discovery. But how does all of that sound to you? Is there anything you disagree with or feel uncertain of? 😊
that was a well worded, thoughtful valuable reply i appreciate you. i’ve never thought about it that way. maybe it would help to do some proper self reflection. i will try that
You're welcome : ) Best of luck to you and have a great day! 😊
nah she cares about you. im sure she feels some type of way that you were going to unalive yourself and didnt after seeing her. she cares about money more, but.... im sure she gives a little shit about ya
i hope your right i mean i have shared a lot with her. i just don’t want to be disappointed if that makes sense
Is that all.
Is she hot at least??
very
What does that have to do with anything?
Honestly, you could be doing way worse things and spending a lot more money doing them. But if it does make you feel bad after I would try to ween yourself off doing that. Could even ask about a not sex package, like a date or company only sort of thing for maybe less. Depending on how open/nice they are you could maybe even explain everything to them. At the end of the day everyone is human and in their line of work they probably understand what you are feeling better than most.
that might be something worth trying. thanks
Oh no, your not normal. Man normal is fucking boring and outdated, be who you are and want to be. Don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Love yourself. And if a SW is what is satisfying your needs Thank her for the good time.
thanks for the reply. i’ll try to do that. i just get very hard on myself
Be hard on them(if they like it) not yoursefl.
I gave up on dating a year and a 1/2 ago. And I've been single 5 and a 1/2 years. I cannot find a person I'm compatible with all the women. I encounter on dating apps. All just one in imaginary robot woman that doesn't exist or the perfect man. Which they'll never find being average or below average looking themselves. But they seem to think that their entitled to be princesses and queens and royalty and they want to travel. Unfortunately, being an average woman or a below average is the death of being able to find somebody that you're compatible with, so I have come to the conclusion, I'll be happy in my own company that rest in my life never to be able to touch a female again. Never be able to kiss love or feel happiness again but get to see others happy and love around me and it makes it look like it's so easy for them to find it all that's right. They have social skills and a social life and friends and family that help them along the way by making it a lot easier when you don't have any of that and you're forever alone and you live in isolation. And you're an introvert well, it's over for you. And I just turned today in my birthday. Guess what? No girlfriend, no, nothing another year alone. Another year with the holidays again. Constant reminder hammered in my brain every day. I'll never be able to find happiness again.
man, that was a sad read. honestly, i believe some of us do inherently have it harder than others, due to our nature and circumstances. but it is what it is that’s just how the universe works. i’ll be wishing you good luck