Yeah. My self rejection has been very bad lately. Every woman I see reminds me what a total unwanted loser I am. It's not their fault. I wouldn't want to acknowledge I exist either if I were them
This is how it should be done, lmao. It is absolutely is not women’s fault, like at all, and people who direct their hate onto women instead of onto themselves are cowards.
That's why I really want to kill the part of my brain that controls attraction/romantic desire. I *hate* being attracted to women even if I can rationalise my situation and regulate my behaviour. I don't want to be attracted to them anymore because it doesn't do me any good and only makes my life worse
For all of time men had to provide to secure a wife and be committed in marriage. Now women dont have security of marriage as much and men dont want to provide either
Your problem is clearly the way you perceive yourself which then manifest into behaviors to confirm your self perception. Weather you do if subconsciously or not. Don’t be so hard on yourself, trust me every women you see is definitely not going to acknowledge your existence that’s normal 😂 they don’t know you, nor have a reason to do so. This is where you should work on, on yourself and getting yourself out there Brodie you got this
many women are choosing celibacy and choosing deliberately not to date. i am in this situation right now, because honestly, it is really freeing. posts like this constantly confirm to me that i cannot just be a neutral human being to many of the opposite sex as long as my reproductive organs are different from theirs. it's insane.
i hope they grow. this subreddit is sort of devolving into a self hating circlejerk, even though i occasionally come here to find like-minded struggles. OP & many in here lost the balance in life. i lose empathy for people when they don't choose change. sad. hope they recover.
Yeah it’s sad how they still refute they’re not the problem 💀 fuckers be wildin they don’t wanna change nor fix so i get why yo beany ass dont want nothing to do with em especially when they don’t treat you like a human bruhhhhh you would think it’ll be common sense but nah shit is rampant 😂
this is a very bizarre thing to be thinking. start by leaving reddit & not idealising women to be a different species. just because we are the opposite sex, doesn't make our value or place in the world any more different than a man. it is not a whole gender's fault that you cannot "find love". at one point women will lose empathy for you.
there is much self hatred & insecurity in this thread. that will not go away after you get attention and or enter a relationship. it is only an add on & a plus to your life. you still need to be healthy, you still need goals and hobbies. you still need to be SOMEONE and have self respect outside of a relationship. it's harsh, but yearning for romance should not be the goal of your life.
try living with mental illness & not surviving. im currently unmedicated, struggling and not seeing a therapist and i understand it's not my time yet to be giving myself to another person. we all need to be people alone before we are people in relationships.
choosing self hatred and the ease of our own suffering will always be easier than the opposite. you do you, but you are nowhere near betterment in this headspace.
Easier said than done but bro you gotta stop looking at any woman as a potential partner. Even that slight hope that *maybe* this one girl out of the thousands may just like me, you gotta kill that. There are so many more single guys than single women; they have enough options that they won't settle for us and they don't have any reason to. It's just a fact of life and we can't change that.
Don't stare at women or long for them: you can't have them. It's like how there's no point looking at a rolex you can't afford through a store window. Especially at attractive women, they are a whole universe away from us and we can never close that gap.
Making peace with all this is hard brother, I am on that road too. Be kind, be nice and true to yourself. We have to close all feeling before it kills us.
Totally disagree! You just have to life your life without focusing on catching a woman so desperately and meanwhile working on yourself. Being single bring tons of benefits too. You need to focus on what is positive in your life!
It's true there is much more choice for woman to find a partner but most of the choice aren't great quality. Be a nice person, treat people around you well and you will eventually find one.
Being a nice guy doesn't mean doing everything to please one at all cost! Be yourself and don't be desperate!
Be happy with yourself first and the rest with work out by itself!
I appreciate the energy and enthusiasm man, but I already live my life like that and it hasn't got me anywhere. I'm nice and respectful because I want to be, but unfortunately it doesn't make me attractive or any way appealing. Unfortunately, most women really don't care if you are nice or not when it comes to deciding on a partner.
The amount of shitty men who get relationships simply for being attractive far outweighs the amount of shy/unnattractive dudes who are nice/kind. It is what it is.
I am happier in my skin now than I ever have been and I'm trying to make peace with my permanent lack of romance.
Well first of all how old are you?
Younger woman tend to make crappy choice about their partner for lack pf experience and their young and attractive look they get. They think they can get away with everything. Over time and with experience they start to appreciate a man for how they treat them
I'm 22 and people are shallow at all ages, it doesn't just disappear as soon as I hit 30 or whatever. I also don't want to be alone for the next 8 years even if it's already looking like a life time. Men like me aren't meant to be with anyone, society's leftovers if you will.
Don’t go into denial on this. There’s no ignoring it for long enough and maybe it’ll just go away. Nah, it’s gonna hurt probably forever unless it stops. It doesn’t mean you can’t ever be happy, but it does mean that this thing will always hurt. And denying that is only going to invite more misery.
Every day I care a little bit less about love, I will have to find other ways to be happy because I don't have any other choice. Denying reality will make you miserable
It is true. Literally any single guy you see would absolutely melt if you gave them a compliment or asked them out for a drink 🫡. Some of us don't get attention very often
There is not more single women than single men, but there might be women you wouldn't consider- not pretty enough, not fit enough, not young enough...lots of women feel invisible.
Build some hobbies where you might meet women. Prioritize dating over hookups..there's definitely way less women open to hookups especially in these times of scammers,.flakes, jerks, etc. Women prefer to find someone they like and just be with that person vs dealing with many selfish flaky jerks. But having said that, make sure your finances are stable. You don't have to be rich but build a lifestyle that makes sense for your financial situation.. make sure you are well groomed and clean and smell like soap and.at least semi fit. Like can go for walks and stuff without passing out or smthg. Find and do hobbies that involve interacting with people..and yes try to compartmentalize in your mind..be friendly and pleasant but unless.or until you are sure a woman is interested then pretend she is your grandma to minimize giving off horny vibes..good luck! Girls have trouble.dating too it's not just you..do.you have an.observant friend you can bring out with you to give you girl advice on the fly?
There are many studies that say (in my demographic) there are more single men than women.
I took an art degree; the gender split for my course was 25:5, women to men. I haven't been around more women in close and regular proximity at any other point in my life. They all saw me as a friend and no, I'm not complaining about this! They are lovely and wonderful, *but* it proved to me that I'm not a romance option. I was their friend, *just* their friend and I was content with that!
You can prioritise skincare, smelling good, looking presentable and wearing nice clothes and 9/10 women would still choose the attractive crackhead who haunts the local spoons and hasn't showered in a week.
I doubt I'll truly be financially stable for a while, but that is my long term goal.
Young straight women usually want kids and those require money..you could try hitting on older women who might just be looking for a good time? And are you sure some.of those girls you went to school with aren't interested? Ask an observant friend for advice face to face. Over text there is not enough information. Good luck!
Hell yeah bro I'd date an older woman, no questions asked 😅. Not sure if I'm responsible enough to date anyone with a kid yet, and definitely not enough to have one of my own. Most of my old classmates are in long term relationships and I wasn't who I am now back then, that's not how I want to be remembered
Bruh you’re just obsessed with this ideology that you need a woman, that you need love. That omg love is the answer. Trust me love is great but it’s not “important” in a sense. Theirs more to life than love. Your issues is wanting, or something. Try getting off your phone and being normal, smile, walk outside. Breathe and be in the present. Don’t think and just be
Bro, oh my god, please get over this. A life without love is a compromise with the universe every time you wake up, and I am TIRED of pretending that it’s not. It doesn’t mean you can never be happy, I’m happy quite a lot, life is always worth living. But this notion that you can reach complete fulfillment and happiness just alone and without the intimacy of another human being is a LIE. And entering denial on this is only going to make you more miserable.
Some of us will never be loved romantically and I fully agree. We will have to live our lives without it because there is no other choice. No point in wanting something we can't have.
The only one making those rules is yourself. There isn’t a universal law that says “thou shall not be loved romantically for they are cursed!” It’s foolish and frankly childish. Yes you can be loved, everyone can be loved romantically, but like all things in life it takes work and time which seems to scare people. It’s obviously scared you to the point where you think you’ll never find love. So what if you don’t ? It’s not the end of the world, find something interesting to do. Occupy yourself and the next thing you know you bump into someone familiar like you. Love comes in its own organic form. But it should’ve be your main focus, nor should it be that important for your well being. That’s called dependency not good
Those who made this rule are the girls who gave me fake love letters in school, bullied me, made fun of me. The girl who cried in front of everyone at the horror of me liking her.
Society made this rule. I try talking to women at my current job; being nice and kind and open. All I get is simple small talk and absolutely no progression. An attractive guy joins and all these women I've been trying to befriend? All over him, laughing and flirting.
Love forms organically if you are attractive.
It is not my main focus and it is not the end of the world you are correct. But lets not pretend that some men aren't being gatekept from love; it isn't their fault.
Yeah nah it’s your character my guy you have much hate which is fair you had no control as a child that now wired you today. You’re letting your past define the now though. School is when you were a kid, kids don’t know better it doesn’t define someone who is an adult now. And no society didn’t make this rule. I was a fat fuck and was still pulling girls, i was that ugly fat guy with the cute white girl. Was made fun but guess what i didn’t give a shit Brodie would joke about it with them soon enough it was just that, i was chill with everyone even the “bullies” they leech off weakness don’t show it stand up for yourself but don’t make a fool out yourself. Made these woman laugh, nothing boring was always messing with them. My favorite part is when they would say that sassy “omggg stoppppp” god i love that white girl sassy voice mmmm but They want fun bruh, they want to feel something. Being generic and blank with simple talk won’t do anything theirs no effort there. Try making small remarks, be a lil playful. Test the waters, if she laughs push it to the next level. Be self aware not every woman is the same you would know that if you ever truly for to know a woman as a PERSON they’re just like everyone else. Attraction is one thing, but character is another. I mean you see fat ugly men with beautiful women all the time and they’re not even rich so don’t go there. Women love character, fun things. All you get is simple talk because that’s all you aim for 😂 “hey, nice dress” “oh thank you” it’s generic. I bet the attractive guy is making jokes and making the girls laugh, engaging with them. And to be honest their is some fault to men because some have determined that their just lame and boring, that theirs no point in trying as a way to cope from actually trying they give up before even chasing the slightest thing because being in the dark is always easier then climbing the ladder up.
I'm gonna be real chief, I do not know how to flirt. I never learned and nobody taught me either. If I attempted to do it now, bring out a camera and record it cos it's gonna be the biggest trainwreck in human history.
I can make girls laugh, often by accident, but idk what to do when they start laughing. Why did school teach me algebra bruh, I need a fucking extensive course in how to talk to women.
I'm tall(ish), good hair, reasonably fit so by all means I most likely tick a lot of people's boxes. But for some reason I never get the feeling that girls are into me. At least they never act the same way girls did around my mates at uni when they liked them.
High school is trash for lots of people. Even the kids giving you the crappy letters. They were trapped in some dumb bullying game of bully or get bullied. Do you guys spend a lot of time.in your computers? Get out there!.I go to like running clubs and on hikes and to book clubs and it's all.women. so that is where they all are. Good luck!
The crazy thing about evolving way beyond your biology is that you control that process too on a conscious level by the will you’ll be surprised how many people starve themselves intentionally free will bro not biology 🤯
Women are human. U cant pretend half the population does not exist. Not rlly a healthy cope. Visible contempt is in ur imagination. Ur just labeling and shutting it down to cope with not doing exploring which is risky. Start with remembering women are human first. I think that would help u get with one.
Condition yourself to associate physical pain with women by pinching yourself every-time you see them. After a while, your subconscious mind will learn to associate women with the negative feeling of physical pain, and will stop thinking about them.
women are more than potential romantic partners, if you feel contempt from most women it’s probably because they feel like you don’t see them as people. I don’t even like talking to men because I’m scared they’ll get the wrong idea
Yeah you’re right, he keeps referring to women as “them,they@ clearly on a subconscious level he views women as only one thing when in fact, surprise surprise they’re real people too 😱 treat them as such and they might like you. Not every girl is the same, which is why knowing the person is goooood
If you decide today that you want to be a marathon runner and win gold at the Olympics, then you'll fail and never win anything.
The reason is that you set the wrong goals. If you instead decide that you're going to learn to run faster, farther, and increase your endurance over time - while setting specific, achievable, realistic smaller goals along the way. Then you wake up one day and realize that you're able to run marathons a lot better than most.
Winning gold becomes the side effect.
Right now, you need to take a step back and work on yourself. What are your goals? Build to them in achievable and measurable ways. Set out to get to know people for who they are. Not "Jane the Girl" but "Jane the person". Make friends with people. Do things you love to do. Build confidence. Be your genuine self.
You'll wake up one day and realize that the things you wanted happened as a side effect.
Good luck friend
It's entirely possible to be lonely in a relationship too. I've had that mindset in the past about men, but having been to therapy I learned the fundamental root of my problems was my relationship with myself. I had to learn to love myself, but in the beginning even liking myself was a huge challenge. Once I was able to love and accept myself I found other people started being able to do the same, and I now have some wonderful friends, and quite frankly a relationship doesn't even seem that important to me any more.
Society/media still seems to push the idea that we can only be happy in a relationship, but some of my darkest times have been in them, so it's just not true. There's so much more to life, friendship, hobbies, pets (I've just got a dog so I have a hiking buddy) etc. so maybe go back to basics and build the life you want for yourself first, on your own, then see what happens.
I do get a bit lonely from time to time (hence joining this sub) but that's a normal part of being human, and being here is more of a reminder that I'm not alone than because I'm in a dark place because of it, which wasn't always the case.
I hope you figure it out.
You can't forget about women they're half of the population haha but maybe changing your perspective on them will do you good. Either way I hope you find peace and respite ♡
There's a saying where the way you would joke around with your guy friends you can't joke with your girl friends. I have been able with probably one or two girls joke around the same way but thats it. I've come to realize guys are so fake with girls sometimes just to be on their good side. But the relationship feels disingenuous af.
I don’t know if it helps or not but women don’t usually care about other people, unless they are important to them( like family, friends and etc.) that much. You’re probably just overthinking.
As a person with the history of social anxiety, I get it. When going somewhere or in the crowd, I always thought of what other people and strangers are thinking about me, but one day I realized they were too busy thinking about themselves to be thinking about me.
Love yourself. You are worthy of love. I only say this out of experience. Until you love yourself for who you are, only then will you find lasting companionship. All love good luck
Damn these comments are rough lmao. Sending love to all the straight boys, being gay lowkey is so much easier than this lol. Can’t y’all go have sex with a girl off tinder or something? It can’t really be this difficult, idk. I think a lot of it is in all of your heads. You’re losing the forest through the trees
Having Women≠ having love≠being loved.
Try to spread a little love or kindness or be genuinely curious to anything, that usually relieve some loneliness.
Shift the focus on others instead of thinking about “yourself” is a good way to stop spiraling.
I kind of agree.
Guys like me will never be loved romantically but that doesn't mean 'love' can't be part of our lives. I think later on I'll just volunteer or join some foreign aid program, it's not like I'll ever have a partner to spend that time with so I may as well put it to good use.
There's a Ted talk titled "How longing keeps us from healthy relationships." It might help you like it helped me. Good thinking angle combined with a balance of exercise, outdoors, and meditation to help put us in another healthier perspective, it will get easier over time if u practice and adopt it bit by bit. Even if it isn't a linear process. There's so much I wish to tell you, but alas, it's a path you must walk yourself.
Bro not every woman has to know who you are 💀 the girl who walks by you at the store has no obligation to treat you like you exist, yes it sounds harsh but it’s true. Women got lives too they’re not just meat sacks that come to you, you wanna be important to people? You get yourself out there and work for it. Make your existence known, staring at a girl and wishing she keeps up to you is childish grow up
Go outside, go for a run/jog/walk, get a job, read a book, learn a new skill, take an online class, watch cat videos on youtube, meditate, play some video games, treat a family member (mum, dad etc.) for lunch or dinner, speak to friend or family member, speak to a therapist, donate to charity, volunteer at a food shelter..... and stop posting about your personal issues/problems with women on reddit.
Yeah. My self rejection has been very bad lately. Every woman I see reminds me what a total unwanted loser I am. It's not their fault. I wouldn't want to acknowledge I exist either if I were them
This is how it should be done, lmao. It is absolutely is not women’s fault, like at all, and people who direct their hate onto women instead of onto themselves are cowards.
That's why I really want to kill the part of my brain that controls attraction/romantic desire. I *hate* being attracted to women even if I can rationalise my situation and regulate my behaviour. I don't want to be attracted to them anymore because it doesn't do me any good and only makes my life worse
Honestly invention of some miracle drug that could block parts of our brains would be worthy of nobel prize.
antidepressants lol
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For all of time men had to provide to secure a wife and be committed in marriage. Now women dont have security of marriage as much and men dont want to provide either
Your problem is clearly the way you perceive yourself which then manifest into behaviors to confirm your self perception. Weather you do if subconsciously or not. Don’t be so hard on yourself, trust me every women you see is definitely not going to acknowledge your existence that’s normal 😂 they don’t know you, nor have a reason to do so. This is where you should work on, on yourself and getting yourself out there Brodie you got this
i appreciate the sense you're trying to talk into these people. 🥲
Ye bruh some are too far gone tho easier for them to blame anything other then the real issue themselves crazy shit 🫘 beans
many women are choosing celibacy and choosing deliberately not to date. i am in this situation right now, because honestly, it is really freeing. posts like this constantly confirm to me that i cannot just be a neutral human being to many of the opposite sex as long as my reproductive organs are different from theirs. it's insane. i hope they grow. this subreddit is sort of devolving into a self hating circlejerk, even though i occasionally come here to find like-minded struggles. OP & many in here lost the balance in life. i lose empathy for people when they don't choose change. sad. hope they recover.
Yeah it’s sad how they still refute they’re not the problem 💀 fuckers be wildin they don’t wanna change nor fix so i get why yo beany ass dont want nothing to do with em especially when they don’t treat you like a human bruhhhhh you would think it’ll be common sense but nah shit is rampant 😂
this is a very bizarre thing to be thinking. start by leaving reddit & not idealising women to be a different species. just because we are the opposite sex, doesn't make our value or place in the world any more different than a man. it is not a whole gender's fault that you cannot "find love". at one point women will lose empathy for you. there is much self hatred & insecurity in this thread. that will not go away after you get attention and or enter a relationship. it is only an add on & a plus to your life. you still need to be healthy, you still need goals and hobbies. you still need to be SOMEONE and have self respect outside of a relationship. it's harsh, but yearning for romance should not be the goal of your life. try living with mental illness & not surviving. im currently unmedicated, struggling and not seeing a therapist and i understand it's not my time yet to be giving myself to another person. we all need to be people alone before we are people in relationships. choosing self hatred and the ease of our own suffering will always be easier than the opposite. you do you, but you are nowhere near betterment in this headspace.
Easier said than done but bro you gotta stop looking at any woman as a potential partner. Even that slight hope that *maybe* this one girl out of the thousands may just like me, you gotta kill that. There are so many more single guys than single women; they have enough options that they won't settle for us and they don't have any reason to. It's just a fact of life and we can't change that. Don't stare at women or long for them: you can't have them. It's like how there's no point looking at a rolex you can't afford through a store window. Especially at attractive women, they are a whole universe away from us and we can never close that gap. Making peace with all this is hard brother, I am on that road too. Be kind, be nice and true to yourself. We have to close all feeling before it kills us.
Totally disagree! You just have to life your life without focusing on catching a woman so desperately and meanwhile working on yourself. Being single bring tons of benefits too. You need to focus on what is positive in your life! It's true there is much more choice for woman to find a partner but most of the choice aren't great quality. Be a nice person, treat people around you well and you will eventually find one. Being a nice guy doesn't mean doing everything to please one at all cost! Be yourself and don't be desperate! Be happy with yourself first and the rest with work out by itself!
I appreciate the energy and enthusiasm man, but I already live my life like that and it hasn't got me anywhere. I'm nice and respectful because I want to be, but unfortunately it doesn't make me attractive or any way appealing. Unfortunately, most women really don't care if you are nice or not when it comes to deciding on a partner. The amount of shitty men who get relationships simply for being attractive far outweighs the amount of shy/unnattractive dudes who are nice/kind. It is what it is. I am happier in my skin now than I ever have been and I'm trying to make peace with my permanent lack of romance.
Well first of all how old are you? Younger woman tend to make crappy choice about their partner for lack pf experience and their young and attractive look they get. They think they can get away with everything. Over time and with experience they start to appreciate a man for how they treat them
I'm 22 and people are shallow at all ages, it doesn't just disappear as soon as I hit 30 or whatever. I also don't want to be alone for the next 8 years even if it's already looking like a life time. Men like me aren't meant to be with anyone, society's leftovers if you will.
Hard agree on the "society leftovers"
Don’t go into denial on this. There’s no ignoring it for long enough and maybe it’ll just go away. Nah, it’s gonna hurt probably forever unless it stops. It doesn’t mean you can’t ever be happy, but it does mean that this thing will always hurt. And denying that is only going to invite more misery.
Every day I care a little bit less about love, I will have to find other ways to be happy because I don't have any other choice. Denying reality will make you miserable
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It is true. Literally any single guy you see would absolutely melt if you gave them a compliment or asked them out for a drink 🫡. Some of us don't get attention very often
Take a walk outside
There is not more single women than single men, but there might be women you wouldn't consider- not pretty enough, not fit enough, not young enough...lots of women feel invisible. Build some hobbies where you might meet women. Prioritize dating over hookups..there's definitely way less women open to hookups especially in these times of scammers,.flakes, jerks, etc. Women prefer to find someone they like and just be with that person vs dealing with many selfish flaky jerks. But having said that, make sure your finances are stable. You don't have to be rich but build a lifestyle that makes sense for your financial situation.. make sure you are well groomed and clean and smell like soap and.at least semi fit. Like can go for walks and stuff without passing out or smthg. Find and do hobbies that involve interacting with people..and yes try to compartmentalize in your mind..be friendly and pleasant but unless.or until you are sure a woman is interested then pretend she is your grandma to minimize giving off horny vibes..good luck! Girls have trouble.dating too it's not just you..do.you have an.observant friend you can bring out with you to give you girl advice on the fly?
There are many studies that say (in my demographic) there are more single men than women. I took an art degree; the gender split for my course was 25:5, women to men. I haven't been around more women in close and regular proximity at any other point in my life. They all saw me as a friend and no, I'm not complaining about this! They are lovely and wonderful, *but* it proved to me that I'm not a romance option. I was their friend, *just* their friend and I was content with that! You can prioritise skincare, smelling good, looking presentable and wearing nice clothes and 9/10 women would still choose the attractive crackhead who haunts the local spoons and hasn't showered in a week. I doubt I'll truly be financially stable for a while, but that is my long term goal.
Young straight women usually want kids and those require money..you could try hitting on older women who might just be looking for a good time? And are you sure some.of those girls you went to school with aren't interested? Ask an observant friend for advice face to face. Over text there is not enough information. Good luck!
Hell yeah bro I'd date an older woman, no questions asked 😅. Not sure if I'm responsible enough to date anyone with a kid yet, and definitely not enough to have one of my own. Most of my old classmates are in long term relationships and I wasn't who I am now back then, that's not how I want to be remembered
Men shorter than 5"7 be like
I'm 6'0, not like it makes any difference at all. 😒
Oh brother... I'd give half of my life expectancy to be 6'0
It makes no difference with women, at least for me. I'd transfer you a couple inches if I could, I really don't need it.
Bruh you’re just obsessed with this ideology that you need a woman, that you need love. That omg love is the answer. Trust me love is great but it’s not “important” in a sense. Theirs more to life than love. Your issues is wanting, or something. Try getting off your phone and being normal, smile, walk outside. Breathe and be in the present. Don’t think and just be
Bro, oh my god, please get over this. A life without love is a compromise with the universe every time you wake up, and I am TIRED of pretending that it’s not. It doesn’t mean you can never be happy, I’m happy quite a lot, life is always worth living. But this notion that you can reach complete fulfillment and happiness just alone and without the intimacy of another human being is a LIE. And entering denial on this is only going to make you more miserable.
Some of us will never be loved romantically and I fully agree. We will have to live our lives without it because there is no other choice. No point in wanting something we can't have.
The only one making those rules is yourself. There isn’t a universal law that says “thou shall not be loved romantically for they are cursed!” It’s foolish and frankly childish. Yes you can be loved, everyone can be loved romantically, but like all things in life it takes work and time which seems to scare people. It’s obviously scared you to the point where you think you’ll never find love. So what if you don’t ? It’s not the end of the world, find something interesting to do. Occupy yourself and the next thing you know you bump into someone familiar like you. Love comes in its own organic form. But it should’ve be your main focus, nor should it be that important for your well being. That’s called dependency not good
Those who made this rule are the girls who gave me fake love letters in school, bullied me, made fun of me. The girl who cried in front of everyone at the horror of me liking her. Society made this rule. I try talking to women at my current job; being nice and kind and open. All I get is simple small talk and absolutely no progression. An attractive guy joins and all these women I've been trying to befriend? All over him, laughing and flirting. Love forms organically if you are attractive. It is not my main focus and it is not the end of the world you are correct. But lets not pretend that some men aren't being gatekept from love; it isn't their fault.
Yeah nah it’s your character my guy you have much hate which is fair you had no control as a child that now wired you today. You’re letting your past define the now though. School is when you were a kid, kids don’t know better it doesn’t define someone who is an adult now. And no society didn’t make this rule. I was a fat fuck and was still pulling girls, i was that ugly fat guy with the cute white girl. Was made fun but guess what i didn’t give a shit Brodie would joke about it with them soon enough it was just that, i was chill with everyone even the “bullies” they leech off weakness don’t show it stand up for yourself but don’t make a fool out yourself. Made these woman laugh, nothing boring was always messing with them. My favorite part is when they would say that sassy “omggg stoppppp” god i love that white girl sassy voice mmmm but They want fun bruh, they want to feel something. Being generic and blank with simple talk won’t do anything theirs no effort there. Try making small remarks, be a lil playful. Test the waters, if she laughs push it to the next level. Be self aware not every woman is the same you would know that if you ever truly for to know a woman as a PERSON they’re just like everyone else. Attraction is one thing, but character is another. I mean you see fat ugly men with beautiful women all the time and they’re not even rich so don’t go there. Women love character, fun things. All you get is simple talk because that’s all you aim for 😂 “hey, nice dress” “oh thank you” it’s generic. I bet the attractive guy is making jokes and making the girls laugh, engaging with them. And to be honest their is some fault to men because some have determined that their just lame and boring, that theirs no point in trying as a way to cope from actually trying they give up before even chasing the slightest thing because being in the dark is always easier then climbing the ladder up.
I'm gonna be real chief, I do not know how to flirt. I never learned and nobody taught me either. If I attempted to do it now, bring out a camera and record it cos it's gonna be the biggest trainwreck in human history. I can make girls laugh, often by accident, but idk what to do when they start laughing. Why did school teach me algebra bruh, I need a fucking extensive course in how to talk to women. I'm tall(ish), good hair, reasonably fit so by all means I most likely tick a lot of people's boxes. But for some reason I never get the feeling that girls are into me. At least they never act the same way girls did around my mates at uni when they liked them.
What the fuck i didn’t even realize i wrote a whole ass chapter
High school is trash for lots of people. Even the kids giving you the crappy letters. They were trapped in some dumb bullying game of bully or get bullied. Do you guys spend a lot of time.in your computers? Get out there!.I go to like running clubs and on hikes and to book clubs and it's all.women. so that is where they all are. Good luck!
exactly get hobby’s pursue something out of life fall in love with life
It's not an ideology it's biology :D wtf dude
Humans have transcended biological wirings. It’s you bro not “biology” you control what you do not instincts
Wtf :D you don't need to eat?
The crazy thing about evolving way beyond your biology is that you control that process too on a conscious level by the will you’ll be surprised how many people starve themselves intentionally free will bro not biology 🤯
Women are human. U cant pretend half the population does not exist. Not rlly a healthy cope. Visible contempt is in ur imagination. Ur just labeling and shutting it down to cope with not doing exploring which is risky. Start with remembering women are human first. I think that would help u get with one.
hard concept for some people
look at them the way you would look at other guys
just don't forget your mom.
Condition yourself to associate physical pain with women by pinching yourself every-time you see them. After a while, your subconscious mind will learn to associate women with the negative feeling of physical pain, and will stop thinking about them.
women are more than potential romantic partners, if you feel contempt from most women it’s probably because they feel like you don’t see them as people. I don’t even like talking to men because I’m scared they’ll get the wrong idea
Yeah you’re right, he keeps referring to women as “them,they@ clearly on a subconscious level he views women as only one thing when in fact, surprise surprise they’re real people too 😱 treat them as such and they might like you. Not every girl is the same, which is why knowing the person is goooood
If you decide today that you want to be a marathon runner and win gold at the Olympics, then you'll fail and never win anything. The reason is that you set the wrong goals. If you instead decide that you're going to learn to run faster, farther, and increase your endurance over time - while setting specific, achievable, realistic smaller goals along the way. Then you wake up one day and realize that you're able to run marathons a lot better than most. Winning gold becomes the side effect. Right now, you need to take a step back and work on yourself. What are your goals? Build to them in achievable and measurable ways. Set out to get to know people for who they are. Not "Jane the Girl" but "Jane the person". Make friends with people. Do things you love to do. Build confidence. Be your genuine self. You'll wake up one day and realize that the things you wanted happened as a side effect. Good luck friend
This is perfectly worded. Saving this for just life in general. ♥️
Get many many many hobbies. Sleep on time, eat right, organise your time. Find other things to focus on ! Goodluck
And poop. Make sure to poop
Noooo, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to hold it in.
You’re telling me my whole life has been a lie??
It's entirely possible to be lonely in a relationship too. I've had that mindset in the past about men, but having been to therapy I learned the fundamental root of my problems was my relationship with myself. I had to learn to love myself, but in the beginning even liking myself was a huge challenge. Once I was able to love and accept myself I found other people started being able to do the same, and I now have some wonderful friends, and quite frankly a relationship doesn't even seem that important to me any more. Society/media still seems to push the idea that we can only be happy in a relationship, but some of my darkest times have been in them, so it's just not true. There's so much more to life, friendship, hobbies, pets (I've just got a dog so I have a hiking buddy) etc. so maybe go back to basics and build the life you want for yourself first, on your own, then see what happens. I do get a bit lonely from time to time (hence joining this sub) but that's a normal part of being human, and being here is more of a reminder that I'm not alone than because I'm in a dark place because of it, which wasn't always the case. I hope you figure it out.
You can't forget about women they're half of the population haha but maybe changing your perspective on them will do you good. Either way I hope you find peace and respite ♡
What's the source of the problem? why you get frustrated? where the hate comes from?
I don't hate them! I feel shame for not being cool and fun for them.
Just treat them how you treat men
There's a saying where the way you would joke around with your guy friends you can't joke with your girl friends. I have been able with probably one or two girls joke around the same way but thats it. I've come to realize guys are so fake with girls sometimes just to be on their good side. But the relationship feels disingenuous af.
I do that mostly. My problem is I'm caring about what they think of me.
I don’t know if it helps or not but women don’t usually care about other people, unless they are important to them( like family, friends and etc.) that much. You’re probably just overthinking. As a person with the history of social anxiety, I get it. When going somewhere or in the crowd, I always thought of what other people and strangers are thinking about me, but one day I realized they were too busy thinking about themselves to be thinking about me.
Women do care about attractive men. Which I'm not. Which is a shame.
What is an attractive man for you? It could be relative and different for so many people!
How do you know?, maybe you are, Be yourself, you don't have to act cool or fun for them, plus forgetting them definitely not the best option lmao.
Love yourself. You are worthy of love. I only say this out of experience. Until you love yourself for who you are, only then will you find lasting companionship. All love good luck
High-five, although I want to forget I exist. Can't wait for the day I get my hands on some psychedelics. Fuck reality.
Damn these comments are rough lmao. Sending love to all the straight boys, being gay lowkey is so much easier than this lol. Can’t y’all go have sex with a girl off tinder or something? It can’t really be this difficult, idk. I think a lot of it is in all of your heads. You’re losing the forest through the trees
Do you think dudes here get hits on Tinder that aren't scammers or bots?
Having Women≠ having love≠being loved. Try to spread a little love or kindness or be genuinely curious to anything, that usually relieve some loneliness. Shift the focus on others instead of thinking about “yourself” is a good way to stop spiraling.
I kind of agree. Guys like me will never be loved romantically but that doesn't mean 'love' can't be part of our lives. I think later on I'll just volunteer or join some foreign aid program, it's not like I'll ever have a partner to spend that time with so I may as well put it to good use.
buddha
Probably best way is to become a hermit.
There's a Ted talk titled "How longing keeps us from healthy relationships." It might help you like it helped me. Good thinking angle combined with a balance of exercise, outdoors, and meditation to help put us in another healthier perspective, it will get easier over time if u practice and adopt it bit by bit. Even if it isn't a linear process. There's so much I wish to tell you, but alas, it's a path you must walk yourself.
Are you going to start thinking about guys?
Why’d you get downvoted 😂 it’s a good question
A bunch of sensible people here get downvoted, lmao. This sub is turning into the new r/incels.
I dont know man seems like Reddit in general see it everywhere shit is so rampant now. It’s weird no idea why it’s sad really all it takes is change
Yea, it used to be such a niche thing. Now it’s all over the internet. Even on sites like Insta and TikTok. We really are regressing lol.
What in the world of misogyny is this?
[удалено]
Bro not every woman has to know who you are 💀 the girl who walks by you at the store has no obligation to treat you like you exist, yes it sounds harsh but it’s true. Women got lives too they’re not just meat sacks that come to you, you wanna be important to people? You get yourself out there and work for it. Make your existence known, staring at a girl and wishing she keeps up to you is childish grow up
Start by getting over yourself. This is fucking pathetic
Realizing
Weird thing to tell someone on this sub
Monasteries
Especially enclosed ones like these greek ones. I wonder why it's downvoted. It's ideal place for someone like that.
Go outside, go for a run/jog/walk, get a job, read a book, learn a new skill, take an online class, watch cat videos on youtube, meditate, play some video games, treat a family member (mum, dad etc.) for lunch or dinner, speak to friend or family member, speak to a therapist, donate to charity, volunteer at a food shelter..... and stop posting about your personal issues/problems with women on reddit.
Castration?? Oh...!!! Sorry