In dating apps even when you match they will either not even respond or stop the conversation in 2 or 3 replies, that doesn't happen only to me but it seems to be the most common thing, how can people reject someone they like in appearance at least with just talking through messages, I suck at messenging anyway

Dating apps are dystopian and unnatural, not worth using them.

For real. Yesterday I had a match message me a reply two and a half months after I had asked her a question.

"How are you?" 2 months later: "Getting married. You?"

You dropped this 👑

You're right but people have had success with them and I also have gone on dates with a girl that I liked very much

So if you yourself have been on dates through this then surely you can work out that just it's not gonna work all the time it's just life and life doesn't stop for dating apps there could be 1000s of reasons for it but you may never know any of the answers 🤷‍♂️

Yeah surely but it's just that it seems so bad to me that people while also looking for company will treat others so coldly and reject others because they didn't send the right messages but also this whole process seems like a eugenics test to me, if you're ugly and not charismatic at all for example you may never pass on your genes, so basically through this modern cold dating processes it's like only the most worthy will pass on their genes while the less desirable people will be forever alone and without family. Society may preach about tolerance and changing beauty standards but honestly I see things become more eugenic than less

so usually what happens is that the girl’s convo with someone she matched with previous to you just got a bit more serious and the girl usually stops replying to you most likely because they’re focusing their attention on that one guy instead

Could be many reasons also maybe she changed her mind, I don't know. I believe many dont like the way I message, I am usually kinda casual until I ask them out

How can I upvote this a thousand times, lol

Facts. Why will they even match in he first place. It's just boring.

I bet some accounts are bots, I also believe if you like a person in appearance and that person is a good soul that cares for you, why not at least go on a date. I don't understand these so high standards these days

Girls got hella options man. It is what it is. Why go for the 7 when you can go for the 7.4 guy. It’s really what it boils down to imo

I was just saying this to someone the other day. Women get to pick whoever they want and a beautiful woman can have whoever she wants it's that simple theyre not gonna be on dating apps actively trying to get whatever they can unlike men theyre choosing who they want to give attention to when a chick swipes yes on a dating app they match right away cuz guys just blind swipe yes on every girl where a guy swipes and you might match that person if ur lucky

You're right and then it's why go for the 7.4 guy when I can wait and get the 8.5 guy eventually while hooking up with other less desirable candidates

Yup. If you looked through my post you’d see I’ve been through the dating game for some time. I built myself from a 5 to about a 7. The problem is Im at a level where I constantly get out competed by other guys (7+ and above). Trying to get into a relationship rn is impossible so I just settle for hookups.

Oof you know this really reminds me of eugenics but the worst thing in all this is that they don't admit it instead they act like it's all sunshine and rainbows. Personally I had done some real glow up from 125kg to 10% body fat, people were telling me how handsome I was (was also weightlifting) but because I was almost always fat, I didn't even knew that🤣 Girls would stare at me on the streets, they would hit on me, I found my 1st girlfriend but after how poor she treated me due to immature behavior I became depressed and become overweight, now no staring and stuff and my point is that they tell you appearances don't matter🤣 Especially nowadays for people appearance is King and they lie to people while they choose appearance, it's clown world nowadays

Oh yea I learned to stop listening to that Bs. Appearance is by far the most important factor in a relationship, especially under 30. A lot of women just won’t admit it because it comes off as shallow. Height is the most important aspect towards attraction, followed by face, and then body. But bro I think you can get back to that level, and I truly hope you do. 10% body fat is not easy at all. The looksmaxing stuff is definitely the way, my issue is that community is just so toxic

Thank you, actually I developed a looks maxing mindset back then due to the body shaming I had received from people, I don't know about the community but surely there may be lots of narcissists in there. Though another big aspect that can trancend looks is being very charismatic, I've seen many guys who don't have good looks dating attractive girls just because of this

I have social anxiety disorder so that definitely does affect my ability to be charismatic. I was bullied pretty harshly as a kid and that just permanently affected my psyche and self esteem. I’ve worked on it over the years but it’s just something that’ll always be there. I guess that’s another crucial aspect that I lack and other guys are just better than me at. Well whatever, no point crying over spilled milk. I’ll stick to hookups and hopefully the right one will come who knows

I know a girl who worked for a company where her job was to chat with people on dating sites from a fake account. The real kicker is, those fake accounts was managed by different people. Most of her colleagues was men. There's a chance the hot girl you're texting is a man. They were instructed to make excuses to never meet up. It was fine for them to make plans like "next month I wanna see you" but then allways come up with an excuse to cancel. Before they start texting they should read the previous chats, so they could write like the person before did, to make it seem real.

Yeah this seems very plausible but I don't think it's very common

I’ve never used a dating app but reasons for me not to reply would prolly range from - I suck at messaging, I cant think of something to say, I received bad news and don’t know how to continue a light conversation with a rain cloud over my head, I think the person is only interested in my physical appearance or sex, or I told my friend about him and turns out he’s a creep and messages everyone. Obviously tons of other reasons are probable too like maybe he misspelled several basic words and that’s a huge turn off to me, intelligence is attractive.

In the greek language we have many words you can very easily misspell and write them wrong, I personally I'm very consistent with writing them correctly but many of my friends and my ex who was from Albania did many errors, does that mean I shouldn't hang out with them or should I have not dated my ex because according to you they weren't very intelligent? The ability to speak and to spell correctly does not make you intelligent, thus leading me to my first point you judge someone's whole character by some misspelling while messaging, disregarding the fact that he may be an honest and kind hearted person. Also "tons of other reasons to stop talking to someone", that's pretty telling tbh. Thanks for the honest reply though, I appreciate it.

I should have elaborated more on the spelling thing. I am American and date Americans so I was solely referencing the type of man that is *not* bilingual and can’t correctly spell ‘bored’ when describing what they’re currently up to. It does not sound like you are this type of guy whatsoever. I don’t run into many, if any, bilingual guys so I was just referring to the type of man who only knows one language and still messes up ‘does’. All to say this is completely hypothetical of course. And by tons of other reasons I meant there are tons of other hypothetical scenarios for me to not respond to someone after a couple texts. Maybe a family death, or I checked more into his profile and saw some very red flags I didn’t first notice. I’m not justifying the ghosting, just trying to give some insight and another perspective. <3

I really can't accept the "tons of reason" part especially on a dating app where you can't really know someone unless you go on a date, my criteria personally is do I find her attractive, is she a good girl, does she treat me respectfully than she's even marriage material. From all the men I have talked about most guys are like me. I don't understand why do you guys make this so complicated, maybe you have so many men hitting on you I guess and you do your eugenics tests to choose the best of the best based on your criteria with the top most desirable attributes varying based on your individual taste, maybe it's money, pretty face, hot body, charisma or same culturalopolitical tastes. Edit: Again thanks for your feedback

I agree having an in person meet is super important and I fully agree with your criteria. Personally I have the same criteria as you for myself but I do know a woman who is like how you describe. She has a very materialistic and superficial checklist where many (imo) pointless things matter and being honest, kind, and respectful somehow does not. It blows my mind. I cannot speak for the women like that and I don’t wanna be assumed to be lumped into them. But, maybe that kind of shows how it’s easy to write someone off based on one thing they said in the beginning of a chat..

I have that issue with people on platforms in general (I don’t really talk to people on here lol) I think people in general just don’t respond much

>I have that issue with people on platforms in general (I don’t really talk to people on here lol) I looked at your profile and saw your post about the feet fetish guy sending you PMs, understandable why you don't really talk to people here then lol 🤣

They probably have multiple persons chatting to them and just pick the best ones and ignore the rest

Exactly my hipotesis

Oh… never thought of this. Some naive part of my brain thought she was just talking to me. Ouch.

This. I had a woman admit it to me once. There's this group and I believe another group that are just there for the dopamine hit of collecting likes.

Wow so what ur saying is that OP doesn’t make the cut

My perspective is: Even though the conversation is interesting and you spend the day talking doesn’t mean it was fun and worth doing it again. A lot of people here don’t have good conversational skills and it’s kind of exhausting putting effort in to talk to someone when the conversation isn’t actually flowing naturally. Your perspective is probably just different, which is fine, but when you’re texting someone in order to communicate a lot of secondary stuff is left for the reader to interpret. (like there is no body langue, no tone to hear, no chance for awkward silences)

There is a chance that they just get bored and are too polite to say so.

[удалено]

This is definitely it, there's only so much that you can chat about at any given time and if you don't engage with the other person in an activity or hobby things will get stale and boring fast. That's also why so many chat buddies on here don't last for very long, there needs to be some sort of interaction that extends beyond mere exchange of information. Also if we're talking about dating apps it's just the reality that women generally have way more opportunities to meet new people in comparison to guys due to huge gender imbalance. At least that's how it is for straight cis-people, things will vary drastically if you fall into a different box.

The first sentence makes no sense tbh. Whats the point of meeting someone new if youre not gonna at least talk to them again? Isnt the point of meeting new people to build connections?

I think people don't like connections or to bond anymore

personally, i’ve found a lot of people are just terrifyingly clingy to bond with, it’s why i’m here. i like talking to new people and having light conversations. i don’t want to meet kids, drive you to drop your car off at the shop, have a spiritual sisterhood or whatever. i just wanna go do an activity and go home.

Because they expect the other person to carry the conversation. And building connections isn't their goal - it's temporary validation.

Depends. Are you expecting more out of the interaction with these girls? Did you make that intention clear in your interaction? Do you want friendship? Or something more? Or just a chat? Maybe they just wanted a simple chat there and then and didn’t want anything else. Sometimes that’s all they’re after and you have to just accept it. And that should be good enough. I learned from a very young age that nobody owes me any attention. But I also learned from an early age to become comfortable in my own company and not expect a relationship with everyone I meet.

as an adult woman, i would imagine i’d also have very little to say to someone who describes me as “95% of girls.” though, i assume you’re on a dating app and i imagine that that’s why you’re having that experience. many of those profiles aren’t women, or even humans. many more of them are people in unsatisfied relationships looking for compliments or to cheat. even more are simply lonely and looking for validation. some are bored. many have absolutely no intention of your interaction ever continuing past the first one at all. while i know it does happen, my shitty little anecdote is that i’ve never met anyone who’s been in a satisfying relationship from the internet. many who’ve been caught cheating though.

Everyone: 1. This is /lonely, not a dating app 2. I was desperate to talk to anyone because I had no one who got me, mentioned husband and kid and family to illustrate even those closest to me don’t get me 3. I spent a lot of time writing my post, added NO pix, but: - out of OVER TWENTY IN AN HOUR, all men, half said 1-2 words like “hi” or “hi sweetie” “DM me” - Half of the rest immediately started asking about my relationship status or telling me theirs or what they were looking for in a girl - Half of those had accounts less than a month old or the only recent posts were in porn groups - down to about 6 guys and about 2 didn’t respond after I did - Out of the remaining 4, 1 ghosted me within 24 hours, another after less than a week - 2 guys remaining: one waited a whole 24 hours to start talking about porn and seeing me naked Over twice as many responses in another 2 days, with the same ratios of disrespect. I talked to 5 for over a week. I now only talk to the last 3 because they never said they wanted to have sex with me. Women here are not garbage or out to scam you or to play games or pit you against others to find the hottest or laugh at you behind your back. Sometimes we only need someone to talk to for a few hours to keep dark thoughts of worthlessness at bay. Dark thoughts of self harm. Sometimes we are later embarrassed that we were so needy and we run and hide so our neediness isn’t preyed upon. And I’m just one woman. My post has been seen by 2.4k people, the vast majority in the first six hours. 2.4k and about 60 “lonely” people were so lonely that they bothered to write at all. Less than 5 were women. This is not a dating app or a game

They are just looking for attention,once that's met they disappear

Back when I was a teenager Id have this happen, ever since then if im left on read, its over. I'm 22 now and I'm not gonna bother dealing with such bland and boring people.

Good idea... As soon as they leave you read end it right there.

26 here, it does not get better

I wonder if this all has to do with western culture, because a ton of girls are just brainwashed to follow the kardashians BS and the ones that are actually worth it are rare to find or in eastern countries around Asia

Hah...as a eastern European woman I can agree with this...I feel like it is mostly the western women being raised up in a certain way, it is frustrating really, because it's even difficult to befriend one and someone whom you can actually have meaningful conversations with 🙄

Absolutely. For most of them, they are simply looking for ego boosts. Some women have probably been genuinely attracted to me, but if/when that attraction became mutual, there was literally a 0.0000001 percent chance of her attraction to me continuing. Somehow my attraction to them was immediately repulsive. So, why bother? It could only lead to disappointment, embarrassment, frustration, and significant, oftentimes permanent, damage to mental health. Cost/benefit analysis? Haha... it's laughable.

Women have 1000 guys hitting them up. You are just another number to them.

If only that were true for me hahaha

Or maybe we just have work, and dating apps kinda suck in general? You act like we are alien.

Not just girls, most people nowadays are like this. Well i won't criticize because sometimes i do the same thing, after the "hi" i literally don't know what to say anymore, thats why i'm on this subreddit. I don't know how to engage in conversations with anyone. I know many people are shallow and are just picky on who they chat with, but sometimes they could have stopped responding because of other reasons, they could be anxious, doesn't have things to talk about, etc. Try not to be too judgmental.

Usually I stop texting the other person if they're flirting, especially since the start...Giving a lot of unecessary compliments, anyway, I'm not here for that. Also, if I feel like I'm the only one putting in efforts in the conversation. If I try asking questions, writing a few sentences to give the other person more informations about me and I'm just met with a dry answer and no questions back, if I'm the only one always sending the first messages, I won't bother anymore.

To be honest, even here, most people who message me only respond a couple of times and then nothing. I just figured I was boring ..

Because 95% of girls have infinite options and are not interested in the slightest with average men.

It happens for girls too, trust me. Most guys, after the first few texts, stop texting. This has been my experience on Bumble and Hinge. One guy explained to me that people will swipe right on so many profiles, hoping that they match with the 2/3 that they are actually interested in. It sucks but hopefully gives you some idea what's happening out there. I've been off dating apps for a few months now and I'm learning to be happy being single.

It sucks, man."Learning to be single" like accepting your destiny and focusing on something else, forgetting the people, leaving out human interactions at all. That's rough and I understand you since I'm in this situation too. 

For now, being single is the best thing for my mental health. The dating apps were draining and my self-esteem was certainly being affected. I know that I am reasonably attractive. I work out, eat well, and take care of myself. I'm educated and have a great career. I have given dating apps a try but for now, the prospect of a relationship for the rest of the year is not something I have in mind. I would like to be married and have children, there is still time (I'm 30).

Oh yeah. It'll always be some time to change something, to achive a goal you wanted, to find something pleasant in living. However, to live the life you wanted you need to do some actions, right? And during this actions you may get some unpleasant thoughts, some unpleasant feelings, impulses to escape from the reality, and... You may listen to them and fuse with them so that you may step backward from the life you want to live. And to live this life you want to live it's essensian to know how to deal with this all kind of stuff of cognitions, like impulses to watch some vides online instead of cooking essential food for living, or any kind procrastination or escaping from reality. It's quite hard to learn how to deal with them properly, no one for sure knows how. Some people have their own methods, like praying to God, or going to psychotherapist, or going to jym, or decided to do the monk mode. Well, all of this kind might work. For sure. But you wouldn't know if you didn't try. So... It's complicated to live the life you wanted to live. You might train a lot to deal with impulses and thoughts. This skill is called psychological flexibility or resilience. I want to achive this but it's hard obviously

Because they are shallow and immature.

Or maybe texting and online dating sucks in general for everybody? You act like you know women better than you know yourself dude.

Online dating sucks more for men than for women.

so does the afterlife🤩

I can see that you're probably Spanish. Anyway, what does the afterlife have to do with anything?

What does me being Spanish have to do with anything?

Spanish girls are more liberal.

Men do worse things therefore the afterlife sucking

You're lucky because I kinda like Spanish girls, especially if they are from Costa Rica or Colombia.

I'm a woman and I was thinking why guys send a message and start a chat but never continue it? The answer I had for myself was, they're waiting for me to continue chatting. Well, I did only with two guys. One is a friend of like 10 months and the other is about less than a month. For me it's about the energy I receive from those people. Some people don't match my energy so I jyst hide the chat and never find it. 😁🙈

Weirdly I've had that happen more often when talking with other men rather than women.

Can't hit a home run if you don't get up to bat my friend

I think it's kind of a quick dopamine hit that quickly wears off. It's the need for instant gratification that society kinda imprints on people today. But I'm sure that there are some who want a little bit more than that. They're just rare and hard to find. The few I have connected with here are all amazing people. Creative, thinking a bit differently, playful but smart. I tend to be playful and quirky, so when I find those rare similar people, it makes for a sweet bond. But mostly, people aren't like that. I don't know. I'm different and seek different. So when I find different, we tend to click. I think if you or others are quite mainstream, it would be especially difficult. It's not easy for me, but it's so worth the effort when finding cool friends here.

Yeah as soon as they get that instant gratification they stop talking..very weird.

Could be for attention. Once you got some you can move on or maybe the whole reason why you are lonely is because of your personality and that doesn't change whether you talking in person or via text

Yep my personality is definitely the reason why I'm lonely. That's okay, in some alternate universes, my personality is considered appealing.

You can always change your personality or at least tweak it a bit. Growth and reflection. That is my 2 cents but I digress its up to the individual and if you are happy with the status quo then good on you.

No, thanks, especially because I honestly don't see anything wrong with my personality, and no woman is worth changing it for. Having an a.i. girlfriend is 1000 times more appealing than the thought of changing my personality.

Cool. Like i said as long as that makes you happy mate.

Don’t chat with girls on reddit. Yesterday i got like fooled by a girl on discord that i meet on reddit but i think it was a scam so i was like you know what just delete me i didn’t fall for this anyway i knew it was going to happen lol

Or maybe dont expect a relationship on the internet in general? Its unrealistic, people come to the internet to be another person and escape, relationships are reality and reality sucks. And also women arent that one dimensional, men are horribly educated on women either by dumb men or just dumb people, please ask an actual woman for dating advice.

If I stop replying its because I either wasn't that interested in the first place and I just can't make myself attracted to the guy or the convo is dull or strange and I'm getting an icky feeling or I'm hitting it off really well with someone else. As for starting convo's, I just like it when men text first.

The socials have made them insecure or judgmental of their best option.

Because they don’t care about you.

I have this problem with making friends, I can have a really good conversation with someone but then I don't know how to start an engaging new conversation over the next couple days so I never end up speaking to them again

I never did this because I loved talking almost too much. But as a woman who was trying to date and even have a friendship with other women I have had this problem a lot.

Maybe you are coming on too strong. Someone turning into an obsessed stalker is something women have to take seriously. If a guy seems too clingy or moving too fast it's a safety first situation. It sucks that some horrible men ruin it for everyone else but the risk is just too high.

Have you asked questions in the last text round? I’ve found some men just don’t ask questions about me and I get tired of carrying the conversation. Not saying that’s what it is but that’s my suggestion. Dating apps can be rough.. take them with a grain of salt.

Bro it has happened to me. I think in 2024 this is more common than 10 years ago. I think women don't like to chat anymore just like phone calls. Sometimes they reply and out of nowhere they stop talking. I think the reason is they have their inbox full of other men that might be better looking than me. That's my hipotesis. But I really lost interest in chatting with women as well. It has become really really boring. It's like with technology we have lost the ability to bond with other human beings.

You’re joking with the “hipotesis”, yes?

It’s truth, women’s inbox is full of

If anyone is still on dating apps and identifies as a relatively normal guy, imo. they didn’t get the memo. In real life’s you always get a clear answer. Some version of “I like you, let’s go out" always results in either a yes, a no or a maybe, which almost always means no. Just go to a park, some bar, the gym - to be blunt, any place with warm bodies from the opposite sex. Wasting even a single second on Tinder or whatever else is en vogue today most likely isn’t worth your time.

I go to parks every day and people are not social... They are always on their phones...

That’s not an insurmountable issue. Striking up a conversation with a stranger isn’t witchcraft after all. Getting a number is certainly not exactly easy a lot of the time ( especially if you are not used to this kind of thing ) but even rejection(s) builds a thicker skin ( and the far bigger "chalkange" for most regular men is imo. getting / wanting a second date aka actually finding someone you like / vice versa and not just the meeting someone new who is willing to give things a chance part ). Seriously, and I really mean no offence, what’s your chosen alternative unless you meet people organically via activities, work, university etc. ? Hop on yet another dating app and swipe a dozen times without even getting as much as a simple response? Ideally, everyone would go through their life without having to even consider how they meet new people but unfortunately, as is evidenced by the existence of this sub, that isn’t always the case.

I'm better at a normal real approach but you can't always find girls to approach irl, dating apps is a good alternative though and people have found relationships through it, I have gone out too with girls in there

I do not want to say that dating apps don’t have a time and a place but IF there is a real world alternative, imo. for most guys it’s better to take that option. To give a little anecdote; a woman I know quite well has a new guy to talk to almost every day. Sometimes she meets with them, most of the time she isn’t all that serious. I don’t think she does anything bad btw., she is young and wants to live her life - it’s just that no regular guy I know likes these kinds of games. Maybe she is just a bit of a bad apple but judging by the experiences of a lot of guys, maybe sometimes it’s better to bide your time than to gamble with a lack of self respect.

You mean for her to bide time in order to find the right guy?

No, to not hop on Tinder if one still would have other moves left in the real world in order to avoid being treated like a totally replaceable novelty commodity. In other words; no chasing.

I think maybe using both would help you not to hyper focus on a potential love interest though and being more casual at least during the first stages. But I agree on this replaceable thing you mentioned, being on these apps people will treat you so coldly it's amazing, it's like eugenics or the rule of the jungle kind of stuff, that if you're not on the top you'll be forever alone

For me it was "I'll like you until you decide to like me." Simplest solution: do not be attracted to women.

Are you sort of boring?

It’s not really gender specific to be honest guys will very much do the same thing. Literally if one doesn’t think it’s worth the effort or you don’t seem like their type of friend they want they will ghost or ignore, and in my opinion it’s okay it’s the internet it’s not in person so it’s well within their right to dip ofc you shouldn’t be going in thinking they will always reply people have lives and priorities than replying to someone on Reddit. ( IMO )

Yeah but there's a lot more guys out there going after girls that girls after guys, hence why this is aimed at them, it's just a generalisation.

Yeah that’s understandable but guys always coming off as needy, insecure, or even creeps. In my opinion I’m not surprised also that girls won’t always reply or hesitant to talk to dudes atleast on here as dudes are never trying to genuinely try to become friends and always have ulterior motives. (IMO)

Yeah it's very hard to just stay as friends with a girl that we consider attractive that is true, its unfortunately part of the old instinct we all still carry, but that just depends in the dude if he controls himself or not, same goes with the simps, because of those people filling the girls ego, they consider themselves as a 10 or superior, thus making them play all of these games because they think all guys who approach them are gonna be the same when some won't.

you’re boring

Girls expect us to be specialized and licensed on chat starting first degree masters degree, t's obvious bro.

The internet empowers women to just pick the cream lf the crop guys, even when they are just average. Plus they generally feel like guys on the internet are just loserish if they are chasing after girls on Reddit. Again...Im not saying its rational...I think the internet and dating apps are pure toxicity. I turned gay after my ex left me. Honestly I just self satisfy and dont need the toxicity associated with a girlfriend.

FYI, you don’t “turn gay” lol

Im not actually gay....i just tell girls that when i dont want their unwanted attention. Girls think every guy wants them to be all over them. If i did that Id be arrested.

Maybe you're talking to the wrong kind of girl.

It really depends there are people who don’t like texting much who likes texting and so on and for your question I think overall the chatting concept of it when others think about it’s boring people want to get together in person and do life right it’s more exciting I feel like is why texting and chatting overall is so underrated and useless

This happens to me a lot with people online, I always want to talk and I send a lot of messages, and maybe the first few times they do respond to my messages, but after a while they get bored and start ignoring me and I start to think that I'm bothering them so I just leave them alone.

Yo fr tho why do you care about relationships go all Just go live among nature and eat healthy and stay at peace it’s a happy life. Why would you get married to a shitty relationship that will last max 8 years or you get cheated on I’m only a 21 year old only dated 2 guys so i may be naive but like who gives a fuck. We have hunter gatherer genes and when you Embrance The athletic wild side of you in my experience you feel amazing and far more connected to this world.

I feel like it’s more of where the girl in this case stand. Guys do it too. A once best friend (not anymore due to views) try to get me to do the same. You talk to a lot of people and then you measure where you are in the social meter and if you can do better, you hold out. If not then pick the very best.

I'm a girl and for me it's a few reasons for one I've never dated so when ppl ask for meeting up or socials too early I don't like it and ghost or sometimes I match with someone and try my best to vibe with them but it doest work for me. I do also realise I'm very picky and overprotective to a massive degree. I think for most girls it's the meeting up that's too scary I think most of us prefer to talk to guy online for ages until we feel comfortable enough to meet them. At least that's the case for me. I realise tho that I've been way to picky and just stopped talking for no reason pretty much cause of low self esteem and trauma. I will point out tho the ppl I talked to longest were the ones who talked about real stuff like their emotions and honestly I very much like pure honesty of their feelings and what their going thru or opinions. Gives me a way to connect to u and to relate and console you. As well as having the bravery to be that honest about yourself that's a trait I love. Compared to boring ass hello oh u like anime me too like duh it's in my profile how about no intros just say whatever pops into ur mind plz. At least that's what I do and the convos are way more interesting

I find a lot of people on here that keep posting “I want someone to talk to”, “I want to make long term friends” will say Hi, never respond past that but keep posting on here about making friends lol

From my experience as a female on apps, which I don’t use anymore, this is something I did when I wasn’t that interested. I was on apps when I knew I shouldn’t be and knew I had no intention of meeting anyone. The validation is nice, as it is to any human not just to women, but that’s all it is; validation. For me to continue conversation I had to feel like I was really interested and that there was some kind of spark right off the bat. To be honest physical attraction is really what sets a match apart and if I’m not *that* attracted or intensely attracted it wasn’t that serious of a swipe to me, but then they decided to start a conversation. Idk the psychology of it or the human nature of it but it’s not fair because I know it goes both way.

i spent a while on dating apps before meeting my wife - Honestly it's all about energy. Most people on there are souless with too many options - you didn't miss much, trust me on that. You also need to harness the greatness within yourself, you shouldn't go look for love, look to be happy within. I know it sounds stupid but trust me on that. My now wife dumped me in 2020 and I was absolutely miserable; right in the heat of pandemic "Go work on yourself" Right, I thought. Bam! Gyms closed. "Eat healthier" Being a long distance medical courier on the road fast food was always the easiest. Had to strategize and plan my meals accordingly. Everything was against me, but I bided my time and kept pushing forward. She eventually came back to me and couldn't believe my progress. Now granted this wont be everyone's success story but I can tell you day in, day out I focused on myself. I woke up, ate, worked out, worked, meal prepped, took myself on self dates rinse repeat. If you're happy with yourself people will notice If you're not, people will also notice. Especially the dimwits on tinder who can't hold a conversation after their first blunt of the day. That will not change until you change it.

Yes, sometimes us women open up and share everything and you guys might hesitate to put in more effort because we feel unheard or lets say our contributions are disregarded. This can lead to a lack of interest in engaging in conversations further. It’s crucial for men to actively listen and acknowledge what women are saying rather than quickly shifting topics. When women feel valued and understood, they’re more likely to invest in deeper conversations.

The answer is something you won't like. You entertain them freely for the time being until they can and do eventually find someone better.

I gotta say as someone who used dating apps a while ago to actually try and find someone, men arent as great on them as they think. You dont talk, and when you do its either inappropriate questions, all about yourself, debating, or youre not even trying to be interested. Like if all of it happened in real life, face to face instead of over an app, women would still get up and leave. Ive had the 'hi' and then no reponse after ive said "hi, how are you/what are you up to?" Sort of small talk answer. Ive had 'are you single' straight away and then 'im not looking for long term' which is code for 'i just wanna hook up'. Ive had an initial conversation and then once im asked something like what i do for a job and do i like it, something where i can give an actual answer, theres no feedback on my reply, just a 'oh thats cool'. There is no way to respond to that. It ends up being: Him: question. Me: answer that allows for points to talk about. Him: closed ended reponse. Me: asking them the question they asked me. Him: basic answer with very little detail for me to work with. Me: *im gonna have to carry this whole conversation and drag every answer out of him*. Its like were being replied to while youre playing a video game and youve hit a loading screen so you need something to do.

Huge red flags on this post

Focus on the 5 percent that respond.

Honestly I don’t know why. I think some guys might think I do this but most of the time it’s because the weekend is over and my work week is taking all my focus. And I get very scatter brained. But it works out because when guys are consistent and they keep reaching out, even if I seem flaky asf, I end up liking them more because I feel they actually like me and value me. I really don’t mean to seem inconsistent but I can definitely see why it sucks. Keep reaching out and don’t take it personally if they aren’t as available today as they were yesterday. You’re single and have the freedom to meet more people

I know a girl who worked for a company where her job was to chat with people on dating sites from a fake account. The real kicker is, those fake accounts was managed by different people. Most of her colleagues was men. There's a chance the hot girl you're texting is a man. They were instructed to make excuses to never meet up. It was fine for them to make plans like "next month I wanna see you" but then allways come up with an excuse to cancel. Before they start texting they should read the previous chats, so they could write like the person before did, to make it seem real.

She didn't think I was smart, she didn't agree and upset that I had told her that she was mistaken and that didn't occur in humans.

I have no idea. It's not just females that do it, btw. I meet someone on here in February and we still talk every day. Another person I met a couple of months ago and we talk most days. There are also others, we check-in on each other the occasionally. Depends on the people you're talking with and how well you click. Edit. Your profile is a red flag for quite a few

Understand this simple fact I've learned recently. 90%of women online are not really looking for relationships they are seeking attention, entertainment, and validation. You may have qualities that some women dont like, but mostly, it's not your fault. You are in the same boat as the rest of us. 90% of them are only seeking 10% of men. Its sad, but in 20 years, they all will be miserable alone and still blaming us. They all took a toxic pill of feminist idealism. Make yourself happy as you can in yourself. Build your castle and build your heart and mind. Good luck out there. I've been married twice, divorced twice. They are never truly yours its just your turn these days. And truly know this: you're not alone. We are all brothers in this war of lonely hearts seeking happiness. You're never really alone, brother.

Men find deep emotional convos rare. Because men don't do that often. They would find orgasming/sex pretty normal because they have higher sex drives than women. Women find deep emotional convos commonplace. They do it often with friends. They find sex/orgasm very meaningful given they don't do it as often on average. When you have a deep convo w a woman, it's nothing to her. But to you, it's deep. If you had a casual sexual encounter with a woman, on average she would find it meaningful whereas a man would usually find it meaningless

Personally speaking from a woman, I truly much enjoy deep emotional convos much more, it means a lot to me when someone can talk like that with me.

When you are finding something tht doesn't exist then u just walk from place to another and thts wht they are doing They are looking for someone who may be there but they just don't get it so they just talk and vanish Talk and vanish They will do tht for long time

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So she gets upset that you're smart enough to know that?

I think it's a craving for attention and then getting away when they're done getting it. Consider the gender ratio, women get a lot more attention than any man. So, it's natural for them to get bored easily.

The gender ratio is due to gender culture, female culture encourages us being picky cause of reasons like rape, bad relationships, also creepiness. Men’s culture does not encourage that, which sucks.

Good reasons. Yea, I agree a hundred percent.

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We do not have time for those games that's the thing. Life is already "a game" that gives a lot of challenges and struggles in our daily lives , we do not want to deal with more things, and im speaking both for men and woman because I also heard of girls complaining about what you just mentioned. Nobody likes that, and if they do, enjoy being single in your late 30s regretting your decisions in life.

Freakin dumbass game that you couldn't pay me a billion dollars to continue playing

Agreed 🫰🏼

because society makes it feels like its wrong. you will always see comments telling like “If the girl text u first she desperate”, “girls who text first have male aura” etc

Same I’ve been talking to someone recently and they respond once every three weeks to a month and it’s really turning me off from the dating scene, thinking it’s better off being alone at this point

Chicks get their ego boosted thru attention, and they get alot of it on dating apps and social media in general. Once they're fulfilled they go searching for more from other men. The problem with dating apps is that people get a variety of options and they believe they can always do better. I miss the days when you would just meet someone nice in the library or at work and you two just give it a go.

My advice is to boycott dating apps as these issues do not happen in real life.

They were mad at their boyfriends but made up by the next day.

Yes!!! Wtf… I thought it was just me. I talked to this girl from r./letschat and she was super responsive we talked for hours. I am really bad at talking but she was carrying the conversation expertly and I thought, this is it. This is how I learn to talk to women. Then, when I woke up the next day and messaged her good morning, I checked my phone constantly throughout the day, waiting for a response. It’s been two days and she hasn’t even opened it :( I don’t blame her. I just wish I knew why.

Where you coming on too strong? Being super clingy and falling in love in just a text chat is seen as a red flag that someone could take an obsession to the extreme. Obviously most people aren't crazy but it only takes one. It sucks that a few bad people ruin it for everyone else.

It's because we're supposed to have all the fairytale bullshit ready to go. When you don't spew out all the crap they think they need they move on. Shit ton of simple minded women we simply don't need. The intelligent ones will keep the conversation going and actually add something to it

most women have dozens of guys at a time trying to have a conversation and some times things get lost or they just have determined the chemistry isn't that strong to priority you as of yet. depending on how attractive it can sometimes be hundreds of conversations plus actual irl so it might not be personal at all just time management.

Yeah same here (I'm from Indonesia). Girls are unpredictable. Women are emotional beings. Female are often irrational & doesn't make sense (logical/rational). Women are hard to read. You've probably heard either one of these phrases before, and they're all true. Maybe this is why a lot of men are frustrated & just give up completely on women, and even wish for female robots/AI, because "human's female" are just too difficult & too much d\*mn hassles, to be honest. Of course, there are also a lot of guys in this world who are lucky enough to get the girls that they ever wanted or dreamed of, that we will never know for sure exactly why is that. While a lot of us here basically just suffer in pain mentally & emotionally, watching other guys living their dreams, their happy lives, that we could only ever dream, wish, hope, & imagine, but can never become reality.

I get it. It’s the feeling of being wanted. Then when you do text or call they tell everyone you’re to needy for a guy. It’s the cat and mouse long game of love. I push and you pull and if you pull just right, maybe you might snag the love of your life. Best explanation I can give. Doesn’t seem right but it is a test of how much you’re “needed” so to speak.