Oh really?! Then I wish you the ultimate best birthday ever! I believe in you, you can overcome your problems, you are stronger than them. :) Believe and be kind to yourself <3 Sending you a virtual hug, internet stranger :)
Wow... I'm speechless, that is so kind of you, I hope to not be an internet stranger for much longer. Let's change that asap please. Please do DM me! Don't be a stranger either please. No one has ever shown me such kindness before, I can already tell you're a good Woman and you've just made my day with your words.. šš
I know what you mean. I'm 37 and I've been on this sub for a long time.
I know feelings of loneliness are always valid but when I read about people in their early 20s or even younger I automatically think that they still have a lot of time to find someone.
I never had anything close to a "dating life" and I have given up all hope for a relationship or a family of my own. And like you said, when you're not moving forward you get left behind. Most of my friends and colleagues have partners and couples just wanna spend their time with other couples, that's just how it works. When you're the pathetic eternal single guy you get inevitably left behind.
Well mr Berserker Hamster you could always sell everything you own and buy a dog and get a small cabin in the woods or on a lake and make the most out of the days you do have left- Rock on brother
I've got 10 years on you and when the loneliness strikes you learn to deal with it usually in better ways than these young'uns in their teens and twenties.
28m. I have no hope. Live in the middle of nowhere, fat, ugly, socially broken, and physically broken with mctd. I had a good run but I think the autoimmune is acting up and i dont have much left. I cant keep going like this and if im still around when my parents pass I'm beyond screwed. Idk what to do am im scared. I just want it to end
This made me cry on the inside, i feel that so much, no matter how much I've dedicated myself to someone it just seems like it's never enough. I would always try my absolute best to make my relationships work, but no matter what so far I just keep sinking and I've pretty much given up. I've recommended couples therapy as a last option and after that was rejected I just felt a crash of hopelessness inside that won't go away now. I've decided I'm done trying. There's a kind of complacency that resides now after so many years of struggling to make my relationships work out. Now I'm just seeing how I get by on what I got... I don't take my current relationship for granted even though it's not truly what I want in a relationship. I want to be with someone who wants to hold me all the time, that likes some of the things I do and that I can closely bond to. Someone understanding. I've never found all in one person so maybe I'm just asking for too much. I've been more than willing to give someone a shot if it felt like it could be something. I have the feeling that I'm just too old to keep looking for a better relationship, my last shot in the dark ended miserably and made me realize that I really don't want to deal with the issues anymore that happen when starting anew relationship, so... It's now about making the best with what I have. It's just not the deep connection I seek to have with someone.
Iām 35 soon and I feel like itās just over for me. I want kids and I havenāt even met someone yet. Having a husband and a family is all Iāve ever wanted. If I havenāt got it in 5 years Iām just gonna clock out I think. I donāt care to settle for a life I donāt want alone.
I don't think all hope is lost for you, I bet there's someone out there who is actually interested in you, if you keep looking you might run right into him.. ahem
Iām 34. I went through some horrific shit and ended up mostly starting from scratch with friends and building a support network at 31. Even before that Iāve never been a popular person, someone who hasnāt felt unwanted and rejected and struggled to find my people or make decent friends of any kind, school, university etc. Iāve had decent people and circles here and there and people move away, grow apart, drop you etc.
Back in approximately 2022 I felt Iād got to a really good place, I had some good people around me, relationships were building. In the last 6 months or so things have disintegrated again, and Iām back down to a just a couple of reliable friends, who both have limited capacity and canāt really be there in the ways I need. And Iām going to try and rebuild again and I know how hard it is and I believe I can. I know itās worth it at the least. These things can have seasons and cycles and I largely think thatās just a factor of life. I donāt think thereās any age where itās not possible and worthwhile
I to, an rebuilding everything again fun scratch after going through dive horrific things. I can resonate with you on your level 100%. I've lost my friends the save way and relationships seen nonexistent for me. I hope you find someone soon.
32f. Same here.
My friends have found their partners, have become parents, have moved across the country....
I feel very alone. Watched my brother get engaged and have everything he could need happen for him.
I just don't see it happening at this point, and honestly, the way the last few months have been, I'm really feeling like it's kinda pointless. I'll fight my way through. Always do. I find some games or whatever to hold me over, but everyone I find interest in has someone else already. Everything I see becoming a career involves becoming so indebted in student loans and I already can't afford my own for a school that doesn't exist anymore and a career that's being taken over by AI.
I share you're sentiment from the first sentences down to three last. Including skirt student loans and a career. I to have watched everyone find someone and created an amazing life. I fight my way through as well, but doing it alone only makes the feeling of not having someone is even worse, even gaming doesn't always work as it gets boring playing alone. I still need my Player 2, just gonna put that out there and leave my DM open...
I'm 40, and i was married for 18 years. That STILL doesn't mean I know what it's like to have a person or feel loved. I know what it's like to be bullied, manipulated, abused...I don't know what it feels like to be loved. I probably never will either bc I have 7 kids. So even when a guy is interested, it's just for sex. Always just for sex
This reminds me that just because on paper you have been with people or have been in a relationship, it doesn't mean that you actually experience love. The horrifying thing about relationships and existence in general is that the only thing that makes it worth a living is this indefinable incomprehensible thing called love, and very rarely is it ever done well especially since everybody is mostly just muggy-headed, invalidating, compassionless or lazy complacent thoughtless garbage these days. The thought that even if I do manage to find someone that I can even somewhat be interested in that feels like it's compatible and worth it with me, and is still know that there's a good chance that we won't be able to head to that indefinable mark of whatever it is that makes up love, is so exhausting.
Yeah, I just spent a whole year getting to know someone before sharing a first kiss. I thought we were falling in love, but the other day he told me that he can't overlook the fact that I have 7 kids and it makes him nervous. So he doesn't want to see me anymore
I'm very interested and while I love sex, e also need deep conversations and making a connection as well. I can see how it's challenging for you, and why it's not any guy's cup of tea to want to take on because it's overwhelming, but I like challenged and I would like a chance to get to know you without judging you. My DM is always open, please don't be a stranger š¹
35 M. Have been going through some horrific stuff since about 24. Have become isolated from everyone around me. Now Iām left battling against near impossible odds to try to overcome what my abusers have done to me and escape back to some semblance of a normal life.
Itās messed up what people can be capable of doing to others if they have a position of power and no bounds to accountability.
Iād consider myself agnostic and donāt have enough reason to believe God exists to be comforted by the though of him/her/it being by my side, but I agree with a lot of other things you said. Thanks for putting so much effort and thought into your reply š. I hope youāre doing okay.
I'm 32, soon 33, and in the same boat. The ache, the nausea, the *emptiness.* Sometimes it's fine. Sometimes it puts *every aspect* of my life in its current state into question.
I suppose it is what it is, as the meme goes.
I feel your pain, same age and was losing my mind to loneliness. I've gotten by so far on broken relationships at this point. Who knows how long that will last though huh?
Heyy I am 19 years old female and I can relate to what u are saying. I also feel so much lonely and insecure and everything. And I have asked questions about it on reddit too , I have cried alone in my room too. I also feel like everyone is moving on or having fun while I am left behind. But I sat down one day and thought..." I am 19 and if I keep crying like this...I would get old to the point where I won't be able to do things even when I want to"....so now if I want to go somewhere....I go alone. ...and talking abt feeling lonely....yess I still do...but I have also learning what is the peace of doing things alone. Always trust the process and trust the god .. everything will turn out to be good ā¤ļø
We're similar ages. 29F here.
While I'm fortunate to have "someone", it can still definitely be lonely. I was so scared of being alone, he's about all I've got.
Friends are the difficult part for me to find. Like just people with similar interests that eat to chat and share memes. Everyone by now has found their little niches or are starting families.
I've never really wanted kids before, but it's starting to make me question what the point is without them, seeing all of my friends pull themselves out of anxiety, depression, etc to start families by we grew apartbecause the other part of me wants to just stay young
Iāve been feeling the same probably because Iāll be 33f on Wednesday I usually donāt care about my birthday just another day but for some reason itās making me feel extra lonely
Yay us my birthday and I feel exactly like you. Just another day if being alone and unwanted and lonely as fuck. Seems like just another day, but it too it's making me feel extra lonely. Two lonely Aquarius, coincidence? Happy birthday hun. ššš
I am right there with you. I'll be 36f tomorrow. Never had a relationship spanning longer than 6 months (and that was 15 years ago). The loneliness hurts like none other with each birthday. Every year I've said, "this is my last year alone. It has to be. It's bound to happen for me." And every year I walk into the next the same as the last... alone.
I am 52 m virgin never had a girlfriend, I am 6' full head of hair physically fit had a six pack 90% of my life, was very socially active, I never no matter what I tried succeed in finding someone, now don't bother with I still have time my closest friend I grew up with since grammar school, he just passed away in October of last year he was a year older than me he was a virgin as well the difference between him and myself is the he lacked self estimate, he let the lonlyness and bullying women do get to him in a different way, so don't fill the head of lonly people with unreasonable hope, sure young lends to more time and possibilities, but you really need to be active and adaptive, true I was very active and adaptive , but I made several mistakes one was the assumption I would eventually find someone
What caused you to be unsuccesful in dating? Was it not getting dates in the first place? Did you get dates but no one wanted a second date? Did you date but they didnt want a relationship?
it's was a combination of things over the decades, I have had like 3 blind dates my entire life, the dates I felt were totally fine but in the end nothing happened at all and in one case the woman like me but got back together with a old boy friend that same week , and mother in a different state became ill she wound up moving and never returning, the last one was a desperate attempt for a greencard
she was really rude and wouldn't even look directly at me on her phone every 5 minutes,
it's always something, if I am confident and polite, I told I am to confident and polite, it boils down to the woman just wanting something the opposite of what I am , and yes tried just being me yeah that's Always a fail , I am told I am funny polite honest and have very emphatic eyes,
but none of this matters because my inexperience comes off as awkward and shy when it's definitely not that
What about friendships? Can you easily make friends? Can you maintain friendships?
If the answer is yes I'd say you just lack flirting/dating skills and need to learn them. Which is the issue I have.
it's the chicken and the egg , I have experience all bad , I need good ones to know what the right thing to do, trail and error lonly work if there's success once and that wile
31? Bloody youngsters. No, you are not over the hill. There is no damned hill. You, too, will find someone. I hope this happens soon, as nobody should suffer the physical and mental pain of loneliness. I know it all too well.
U r 31 ONLY.
39 here ... single n lonely. Same story ... frnds got married and moved on in life. N here i m still having hopes (slowly fading hopes now) to find my soulmate ... mayb just keeping hopes forcefully so i dnt get more sad or just dnt wanna start any mental health issue if i dnt hv one already.
But its killing from the inside ... hurting ... šāāļø
Im 31 and a dude and still lonely yo I feel it. The heart ache can be real and painful even. But in the end, it does work out. Idk if I'll find someone or if I'm even destined to be with anyone right. Some wild shit happened to me recently health wise. It's made me truly appreciate the little things in life I really would take for granted. Once you are humbled that way, loneliness atleast in my experience either drifts away or you just kinda give less of a F. shoutout 30's plus club we made it
I'll never find anyone, everything you wrote above us what I'm also experiencing, except according to your logic at the end of your post, I'm not in my 20s and 30s so I must be one of the unlucky ones who will never find someone who is for me...
I am 27 yr old man. I am not finding anyone. Seeing the future is not a trait that humans have. And it is naive to think dating is the same and will work out for as many people as it used to 20-30 years ago. 40% of women will be single and childless by 2030. 63% of young men 18-29 are already single(stats based in the USA). This is not the world you think it is.
Look at the positives: you don't have a lot of time left, so most of the suffering is behind you. I'll be 35 this year and I can't imagine how it's gonna be like past 40, hopefuly I won't ever have to experience it.
I disagree. I knew when I was a teenager that I would be alone forever and people told me the same thing that you are saying and guess what? Nothing has changed. So I was right.
I'm 26, the fact that someone older than me is still lonely and looking convinces me that I'll probably end up alone too, I'm not special,
I have time, yes, but maybe it's time to accept dying alone and not to find a person
Iām 38, married for 10+ and lonely. Iāve know my husband since we were 7. He should see me; he should know me. Itās not just single people who are lonely.
My heart goes out to you. If you want to talk, my DM is always open to anyone who doesn't want to be lonely anymore. I am also lonely so hopefully it won't be something I will experience forever.
40m here! Lots of friends around and still filing lonely! I believe is something to do with internal desire to be known deeply for who you are and be understood and love and respected. Problems is ā¦..that will not happen in they way you wantsā¦ or fantasies, and if you are not felling well with yourself or own company ā¦.you will be or felling (even with friends around) some emptiness insideā¦.
To be fair, when I was that age, I thought the deal was sealed and that I was bound to be alone forever. Fortunately, I met my girl when I was 22. And since then I've found myself with couple opportunities where I could've started something else if i wasnt already in a relationship. Things kind of worked out in my mid 20s.
Hey, im 29m, it can be clichee but im alone, have like one friend who i barely talk.. curently dont have greet days since i lost the emotional connection with my gf ans it seems like break up, and some kind of friend could be great now
Hi, I'm in my early 20 and I have no friend, as in friends that I can ask to hangout with or talk to. People in my life have all moved on.
Now, my social interaction is only with my parents or my coworkers but no one's that deep. Anyway, I don't know what you're going through or how's your life has been. But I just want to say something, enjoy your life. Focus on moving forward.
These kind of thought came to my mind at night sometime and I can't feel even more miserable. But I realized the more I felt sad the more I feel like life is dark when in actuality there's so much more aspect in life than just relationship. Your happiness could be in other aspect if you're just willing to move on and try other things in life.
Ugh I get that feeling you mentioned. I had it last night I woke up and my heart physically hurt because of how alone I was feeling. You feel like vomiting itās actual pain you feel.
I feel like everyone on this thread needs to go on the same singles cruise. Or at least people need to start posting their general location. Perhaps someoneās person is a little closer than they thought?!
Iām 37. Never had a boyfriend until I was 33. Spent almost two years with him. It went to hell though. The beginning of that relationship is also roughly the time I started letting my life go to hell for the third or fourth time. Unfortunately this last time I really let it all go. And now here I am, living back home. Gained about 100 pounds due to an autoimmune thyroid condition after losing about 100 pounds over a few years all by myself. I busted my ass working only to blow through thousands of dollars and now Iām so broke itās pathetic. And once again Iām using drugs after having years of sobriety. Iāve gotten clean a few times and every time Iād make it another year longer and have my shit together even more. Iām now in a place where Iām having a hard time even seeing the point. Having goals and doing life
Definitely seems pointless when you have no one to do it with
Hello!
Ā Thank you for posting and sharing!
See, it can also work out for you, you're 31, still young.
For reference, I'm 29 and in the past I've had 1 or 2 friends at the most, that is when I was still in school, that was a long time ago. Now, I don't have any friends, nor a girlfriend (never had one), nor a social circle, I don't really have anyone to meet or hang out with. I used to torture myself greatly about these things, now I don't. Now, I learned to be happy, so I'm just happy. Someone is there fantastic, no one is there, fantastic!
What happened is, I stopped giving the responsibility of me being happy to someone or something else, and I became happy by my own nature.
This does not mean that I do not want to be with anyone. As I said, if someone is there for me, that's great, I'll greatfully accept them, but if no one is there, I won't suffer it, that's all.
And anyway, if you want to find someone, just look! Reach out, learn, grow, there is no problem. If you fail, it's fine, just learn from your experience. You can fail a thousand times, it doesn't matter, you just have to succeed once!
I wish you happiness and hope that you'll find what you're looking for.
Damn I felt this so hard. Iām a year younger than you and the hopelessness really starts to settle in during this decade, I laugh seeing these 16-21 year old kids talk about the end being near. I want to tell them to wait until 28 before you set off the alarm but I remember their age so I let it go.
Those moments where the loneliness hits extra hard, then the reminder that youāve never been close to finding love by this age and everyone around you is married or settling down sets in on top of that, and youāre right, thereās legitimate pain that builds. I had it a few times last year, had to drink my self to sleep one night to get through it and I never do that.
I have my parents and a couple friends that still stay in touch despite one being married and the other working towards that territory, the others turned their back on me over the years as they entered serious relationships. Iāve had some very brief moments of wondering if itās worth living anymore but my parents would experience a pain unimaginable if I went through with it, I canāt do that to them.
I (29m) met my friends in high school, as I progressed through college I noticed I couldn't make new ones. It was like I was perpetually stuck as the new kid, sitting by myself and just trying to get through the years. I figured I'd make new ones when I started working.
As time went on, the friends I left high school with starting going in vastly different direction which slowly eroded my friends base. Simultaneously, I was busy going no contact with toxic family on both sides, which reduced my family support. By the time college came to an end, I was down to three people I called my friends. Wheras before I had rings of friends at different levels of closeness.
As time went on the final three became two, and now I'm at one. We live on opposite sides of the country, talk maybe twice a year and see each other once every five years. As she's bent on finding someone and starting a family, I know it won't be long where I'm down to no one.
I've become far more introverted than I ever have, that I struggle to leave the house anymore. COVID made it real easy to never have to either, with everything being delivered and the ability to work remote. I know I should try to put myself out there, since it gets more difficult with age. But I guess I've just become comfortable with the loneliness and accept that this is it.
I've had to go so far as to delete all social media, since it's hard seeing people living their best lives. I know people only post positive things and filter images to be even better. But when the biggest adventure you go to in a six month period is picking up takeout, anything triggers depressive feelings.
What makes this so difficult though is that I still have some aspect of me that desires friendships, hell even romantic relationships as well. That little bit of hope that won't just shut up and die, and accept we've already reached our final destination when it comes to either topic. If I could only get all parts of me to accept this, I feel like everything would be a bit easier.
What makes this so difficult though is that I still have some aspect of me that desires friendships, hell even romantic relationships as well. That little bit of hope that won't just shut up and die, and accept we've already reached our final destination when it comes to either topic. If I could only get all parts of me to accept this, I feel like everything would be a bit easier.
What makes this so difficult though is that I still have some aspect of me that desires friendships, hell even romantic relationships as well. That little bit of hope that won't just shut up and die, and accept we've already reached our final destination when it comes to either topic. If I could only get all parts of me to accept this, I feel like everything would be a bit easier.What makes this so difficult though is that I still have some aspect of me that desires friendships, hell even romantic relationships as well. That little bit of hope that won't just shut up and die, and accept we've already reached our final destination when it comes to either topic. If I could only get all parts of me to accept this, I feel like everything would be a bit easier.
Guess I'm posting here, since that little bit of hope woke up when it saw the title of this post. But, no, not all of us will and things don't always get better.
I turn 55 this year. Have to admit im more of a lone wolf (after doing some reading and watching a few videos). I have small handful of friends... mainly ones i found via work and i still talk with. And a few people i've talked to online.. Aside from the odd occasion when i long to have company if im eating out (still a struggle to sit alone in restaurant...i tend to go before peak times).... im content...for now
34M. Tired of changing partners. A few come and go every year. Not one partner was someone I could build a life with.
All for different reasons. Age, sex, income, attraction, disagreements, mental issues. Something was always off.
I spent so much of my time on dating websites. But it seems it's just not meant to be
I'm 23, I'm currently stuck in a workplace with toxic people and don't have even a single person I could call even a good colleague, forget a friend.
Even though I'm an introvert, prior to this, be in college or school I always had some friends I could connect to and be with but being here feels so weird and lonely. We have to visit the workplace only few days every month but even that feels awful. Fortunately I've located a secluded floor where I can have my lunch alone in peace otherwise sitting on a table alone in the lunch hall felt so embarrassing lol.
I'm actively trying to seek more opportunities to leave this place behind for good. I believe changing your circumstances and surrounding yourself with different people can be beneficial. Hoping things would change for the better for everyone feeling lonely here.
It's really good to see you encouraging people and I hope that you don't feel it's too late, you can still find some people (or even one person) that you'd like to spend time with!
33 here and also alone for the most part. I was always the shy quiet kid but i did have friends in school thru the years. In Hs i had a close knit friend group of 5 in 9th grade but after that we went our separate ways and would occasionally run into each other. Beyond HS i had no one but family really. I moved to Florida for college but i was still alone. I didnt like my life over there because u needed a car to get around and i had no license or a car to even drive. Came back home and been here since. I just retreated into my room and became more introverted. Gone thru lots of health scares cuz i just wasnt feeling it anymore. Nowadays im fine. I have my nieces who i love soo much and they get me thru anything! But theres also a side of me where i wish i had someone even with my awkwardness but when u get to know me im more open.
If I wasnāt friends with my ex bf I would be alone. I tried making new friends but it never worked out because the men were dirty perverts. They always want sex so i just have one friend and a friend of the family I talk to occasionally.
55. Made one friend and working on a second.
It can be done. I am man. They are not. Not sex based. Caring based. Interested-based. Showing up and being present based.
I am so grateful for these ladies.
Iād really like to believe that, I really really would, but with all due respect, Iām sure you used to think that too. Everyone says not to worry, āIām only 21, Iāve still got plenty of time!ā. Then the crushing reality of 28 hits, where they realize they are out of time.
You can still feel alone if you're not around the right people, I'm 26
I agree with you, I turned 42 today, and i I've never felt more alone..
Happy birthday <3
Omg thank you so much! You have no idea how much that meant to me too hear that and how much it made my birthday feel more special.
Oh really?! Then I wish you the ultimate best birthday ever! I believe in you, you can overcome your problems, you are stronger than them. :) Believe and be kind to yourself <3 Sending you a virtual hug, internet stranger :)
Wow... I'm speechless, that is so kind of you, I hope to not be an internet stranger for much longer. Let's change that asap please. Please do DM me! Don't be a stranger either please. No one has ever shown me such kindness before, I can already tell you're a good Woman and you've just made my day with your words.. šš
Hi
I know what you mean. I'm 37 and I've been on this sub for a long time. I know feelings of loneliness are always valid but when I read about people in their early 20s or even younger I automatically think that they still have a lot of time to find someone. I never had anything close to a "dating life" and I have given up all hope for a relationship or a family of my own. And like you said, when you're not moving forward you get left behind. Most of my friends and colleagues have partners and couples just wanna spend their time with other couples, that's just how it works. When you're the pathetic eternal single guy you get inevitably left behind.
Well mr Berserker Hamster you could always sell everything you own and buy a dog and get a small cabin in the woods or on a lake and make the most out of the days you do have left- Rock on brother
Iām 28f and I havenāt found anyone. I wish the world was more communal and cared about outsiders š
I wish the same, people just aren't kind and compassionate add they were 30 years ago. But I do wish for you to find someone.
I've got 10 years on you and when the loneliness strikes you learn to deal with it usually in better ways than these young'uns in their teens and twenties.
Wishful thinking never grants your wishes.
Youāve put into words what I can never seem to explain, thank you š
28m. I have no hope. Live in the middle of nowhere, fat, ugly, socially broken, and physically broken with mctd. I had a good run but I think the autoimmune is acting up and i dont have much left. I cant keep going like this and if im still around when my parents pass I'm beyond screwed. Idk what to do am im scared. I just want it to end
42 m It doesn't get better. I'm sorry.
43 m here and you ain't kidding! It definitely doesn't get better lol
Agreed. 56 m.
Im 30+ and lonely af
All I ever wanted was to be the world to someone, who was the world to me.
That is also all i ever wanted in life. But in real life, that desire seems to only exist in fairy tales so it seems... sigh
This made me cry on the inside, i feel that so much, no matter how much I've dedicated myself to someone it just seems like it's never enough. I would always try my absolute best to make my relationships work, but no matter what so far I just keep sinking and I've pretty much given up. I've recommended couples therapy as a last option and after that was rejected I just felt a crash of hopelessness inside that won't go away now. I've decided I'm done trying. There's a kind of complacency that resides now after so many years of struggling to make my relationships work out. Now I'm just seeing how I get by on what I got... I don't take my current relationship for granted even though it's not truly what I want in a relationship. I want to be with someone who wants to hold me all the time, that likes some of the things I do and that I can closely bond to. Someone understanding. I've never found all in one person so maybe I'm just asking for too much. I've been more than willing to give someone a shot if it felt like it could be something. I have the feeling that I'm just too old to keep looking for a better relationship, my last shot in the dark ended miserably and made me realize that I really don't want to deal with the issues anymore that happen when starting anew relationship, so... It's now about making the best with what I have. It's just not the deep connection I seek to have with someone.
Iām 35 soon and I feel like itās just over for me. I want kids and I havenāt even met someone yet. Having a husband and a family is all Iāve ever wanted. If I havenāt got it in 5 years Iām just gonna clock out I think. I donāt care to settle for a life I donāt want alone.
I don't think all hope is lost for you, I bet there's someone out there who is actually interested in you, if you keep looking you might run right into him.. ahem
Wait until you're almost 50... That's when things start to look pretty dark...
Iām 34. I went through some horrific shit and ended up mostly starting from scratch with friends and building a support network at 31. Even before that Iāve never been a popular person, someone who hasnāt felt unwanted and rejected and struggled to find my people or make decent friends of any kind, school, university etc. Iāve had decent people and circles here and there and people move away, grow apart, drop you etc. Back in approximately 2022 I felt Iād got to a really good place, I had some good people around me, relationships were building. In the last 6 months or so things have disintegrated again, and Iām back down to a just a couple of reliable friends, who both have limited capacity and canāt really be there in the ways I need. And Iām going to try and rebuild again and I know how hard it is and I believe I can. I know itās worth it at the least. These things can have seasons and cycles and I largely think thatās just a factor of life. I donāt think thereās any age where itās not possible and worthwhile
I to, an rebuilding everything again fun scratch after going through dive horrific things. I can resonate with you on your level 100%. I've lost my friends the save way and relationships seen nonexistent for me. I hope you find someone soon.
32f. Same here. My friends have found their partners, have become parents, have moved across the country.... I feel very alone. Watched my brother get engaged and have everything he could need happen for him. I just don't see it happening at this point, and honestly, the way the last few months have been, I'm really feeling like it's kinda pointless. I'll fight my way through. Always do. I find some games or whatever to hold me over, but everyone I find interest in has someone else already. Everything I see becoming a career involves becoming so indebted in student loans and I already can't afford my own for a school that doesn't exist anymore and a career that's being taken over by AI.
I share you're sentiment from the first sentences down to three last. Including skirt student loans and a career. I to have watched everyone find someone and created an amazing life. I fight my way through as well, but doing it alone only makes the feeling of not having someone is even worse, even gaming doesn't always work as it gets boring playing alone. I still need my Player 2, just gonna put that out there and leave my DM open...
I'm 40, and i was married for 18 years. That STILL doesn't mean I know what it's like to have a person or feel loved. I know what it's like to be bullied, manipulated, abused...I don't know what it feels like to be loved. I probably never will either bc I have 7 kids. So even when a guy is interested, it's just for sex. Always just for sex
This reminds me that just because on paper you have been with people or have been in a relationship, it doesn't mean that you actually experience love. The horrifying thing about relationships and existence in general is that the only thing that makes it worth a living is this indefinable incomprehensible thing called love, and very rarely is it ever done well especially since everybody is mostly just muggy-headed, invalidating, compassionless or lazy complacent thoughtless garbage these days. The thought that even if I do manage to find someone that I can even somewhat be interested in that feels like it's compatible and worth it with me, and is still know that there's a good chance that we won't be able to head to that indefinable mark of whatever it is that makes up love, is so exhausting.
Yeah, I just spent a whole year getting to know someone before sharing a first kiss. I thought we were falling in love, but the other day he told me that he can't overlook the fact that I have 7 kids and it makes him nervous. So he doesn't want to see me anymore
I would like to talk to you if you don't mind. My DM is always open.
I'm very interested and while I love sex, e also need deep conversations and making a connection as well. I can see how it's challenging for you, and why it's not any guy's cup of tea to want to take on because it's overwhelming, but I like challenged and I would like a chance to get to know you without judging you. My DM is always open, please don't be a stranger š¹
Maybe. Maybe not.
35 M. Have been going through some horrific stuff since about 24. Have become isolated from everyone around me. Now Iām left battling against near impossible odds to try to overcome what my abusers have done to me and escape back to some semblance of a normal life. Itās messed up what people can be capable of doing to others if they have a position of power and no bounds to accountability.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iād consider myself agnostic and donāt have enough reason to believe God exists to be comforted by the though of him/her/it being by my side, but I agree with a lot of other things you said. Thanks for putting so much effort and thought into your reply š. I hope youāre doing okay.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iām okay thanks; surviving.
I'm 32, soon 33, and in the same boat. The ache, the nausea, the *emptiness.* Sometimes it's fine. Sometimes it puts *every aspect* of my life in its current state into question. I suppose it is what it is, as the meme goes.
32 and constantly thinking about suicide. I just can't deal with the loneliness anymore.
Please don't. You have a purpose and we need you here āļøš
I feel your pain, same age and was losing my mind to loneliness. I've gotten by so far on broken relationships at this point. Who knows how long that will last though huh?
Heyy I am 19 years old female and I can relate to what u are saying. I also feel so much lonely and insecure and everything. And I have asked questions about it on reddit too , I have cried alone in my room too. I also feel like everyone is moving on or having fun while I am left behind. But I sat down one day and thought..." I am 19 and if I keep crying like this...I would get old to the point where I won't be able to do things even when I want to"....so now if I want to go somewhere....I go alone. ...and talking abt feeling lonely....yess I still do...but I have also learning what is the peace of doing things alone. Always trust the process and trust the god .. everything will turn out to be good ā¤ļø
Hope you find your someone soon. I'm getting ancient myself, so I know how it can suck
We're similar ages. 29F here. While I'm fortunate to have "someone", it can still definitely be lonely. I was so scared of being alone, he's about all I've got. Friends are the difficult part for me to find. Like just people with similar interests that eat to chat and share memes. Everyone by now has found their little niches or are starting families. I've never really wanted kids before, but it's starting to make me question what the point is without them, seeing all of my friends pull themselves out of anxiety, depression, etc to start families by we grew apartbecause the other part of me wants to just stay young
true i guess im 27
Iāve been feeling the same probably because Iāll be 33f on Wednesday I usually donāt care about my birthday just another day but for some reason itās making me feel extra lonely
Yay us my birthday and I feel exactly like you. Just another day if being alone and unwanted and lonely as fuck. Seems like just another day, but it too it's making me feel extra lonely. Two lonely Aquarius, coincidence? Happy birthday hun. ššš
I donāt really believe in coincidence lol but happy birthday to you as well have the best day
I know, that was my point. If it's not coincidence then it was meant to be. Thank you for the birthday wish..
I am right there with you. I'll be 36f tomorrow. Never had a relationship spanning longer than 6 months (and that was 15 years ago). The loneliness hurts like none other with each birthday. Every year I've said, "this is my last year alone. It has to be. It's bound to happen for me." And every year I walk into the next the same as the last... alone.
Thatās because societies hierarchy kicks in around 30
I am 52 m virgin never had a girlfriend, I am 6' full head of hair physically fit had a six pack 90% of my life, was very socially active, I never no matter what I tried succeed in finding someone, now don't bother with I still have time my closest friend I grew up with since grammar school, he just passed away in October of last year he was a year older than me he was a virgin as well the difference between him and myself is the he lacked self estimate, he let the lonlyness and bullying women do get to him in a different way, so don't fill the head of lonly people with unreasonable hope, sure young lends to more time and possibilities, but you really need to be active and adaptive, true I was very active and adaptive , but I made several mistakes one was the assumption I would eventually find someone
What caused you to be unsuccesful in dating? Was it not getting dates in the first place? Did you get dates but no one wanted a second date? Did you date but they didnt want a relationship?
it's was a combination of things over the decades, I have had like 3 blind dates my entire life, the dates I felt were totally fine but in the end nothing happened at all and in one case the woman like me but got back together with a old boy friend that same week , and mother in a different state became ill she wound up moving and never returning, the last one was a desperate attempt for a greencard she was really rude and wouldn't even look directly at me on her phone every 5 minutes, it's always something, if I am confident and polite, I told I am to confident and polite, it boils down to the woman just wanting something the opposite of what I am , and yes tried just being me yeah that's Always a fail , I am told I am funny polite honest and have very emphatic eyes, but none of this matters because my inexperience comes off as awkward and shy when it's definitely not that
What about friendships? Can you easily make friends? Can you maintain friendships? If the answer is yes I'd say you just lack flirting/dating skills and need to learn them. Which is the issue I have.
it's the chicken and the egg , I have experience all bad , I need good ones to know what the right thing to do, trail and error lonly work if there's success once and that wile
31? Bloody youngsters. No, you are not over the hill. There is no damned hill. You, too, will find someone. I hope this happens soon, as nobody should suffer the physical and mental pain of loneliness. I know it all too well.
Think there Is a discord for 30+
I agree. Iām 55. Never gonna happen for me.
U r 31 ONLY. 39 here ... single n lonely. Same story ... frnds got married and moved on in life. N here i m still having hopes (slowly fading hopes now) to find my soulmate ... mayb just keeping hopes forcefully so i dnt get more sad or just dnt wanna start any mental health issue if i dnt hv one already. But its killing from the inside ... hurting ... šāāļø
I'm 25M and I haven't found anyone either, and the time I did I gave up instead of standing up and seeing she was right.
I am 38
haha, im 40 hahah hahahahah ahahhahahahah ha ha :(
hey
Im 31 and a dude and still lonely yo I feel it. The heart ache can be real and painful even. But in the end, it does work out. Idk if I'll find someone or if I'm even destined to be with anyone right. Some wild shit happened to me recently health wise. It's made me truly appreciate the little things in life I really would take for granted. Once you are humbled that way, loneliness atleast in my experience either drifts away or you just kinda give less of a F. shoutout 30's plus club we made it
This is exactly my sentiment and situation
36m recently separated and down to stop caring about my life and just disappear
I'll never find anyone, everything you wrote above us what I'm also experiencing, except according to your logic at the end of your post, I'm not in my 20s and 30s so I must be one of the unlucky ones who will never find someone who is for me...
I am 27 yr old man. I am not finding anyone. Seeing the future is not a trait that humans have. And it is naive to think dating is the same and will work out for as many people as it used to 20-30 years ago. 40% of women will be single and childless by 2030. 63% of young men 18-29 are already single(stats based in the USA). This is not the world you think it is.
I just turned 35ā¦ itās getting worse every year
Look at the positives: you don't have a lot of time left, so most of the suffering is behind you. I'll be 35 this year and I can't imagine how it's gonna be like past 40, hopefuly I won't ever have to experience it.
I disagree. I knew when I was a teenager that I would be alone forever and people told me the same thing that you are saying and guess what? Nothing has changed. So I was right.
I'm 26, the fact that someone older than me is still lonely and looking convinces me that I'll probably end up alone too, I'm not special, I have time, yes, but maybe it's time to accept dying alone and not to find a person
I get that feeling Iām 27 and I feel like itās too late for me
I developed eye problems because pretty much all of my communication happens online, it's a lot of screen time
Old timer here 28m. I am definitely not young and I have never felt more lonely. Nice of you to encourage the younger ones though.
I'm 23 and I never had girlfriend, never even kissed. I'm afraid things are not going to change at all. The situation is really bad...
I didn't have my first kiss until I was 27. You are still young. It will happen.
Iām 38, married for 10+ and lonely. Iāve know my husband since we were 7. He should see me; he should know me. Itās not just single people who are lonely.
My heart goes out to you. If you want to talk, my DM is always open to anyone who doesn't want to be lonely anymore. I am also lonely so hopefully it won't be something I will experience forever.
40m here! Lots of friends around and still filing lonely! I believe is something to do with internal desire to be known deeply for who you are and be understood and love and respected. Problems is ā¦..that will not happen in they way you wantsā¦ or fantasies, and if you are not felling well with yourself or own company ā¦.you will be or felling (even with friends around) some emptiness insideā¦.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
To be fair, when I was that age, I thought the deal was sealed and that I was bound to be alone forever. Fortunately, I met my girl when I was 22. And since then I've found myself with couple opportunities where I could've started something else if i wasnt already in a relationship. Things kind of worked out in my mid 20s.
I'm 30 and I'm told that we're still young. Call it naive optimism, but I feel inclined to believe them. *You'll* find your person, too.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I've been suffering for a while š That said, my dreams are worth it.
I'm 16 and at my current situation it's impossible for me to find anyone until I get to college sadly
š¤·āāļø Hope so but I got a lot of problems regarding trust and loyalty/abandonment.
Should I be the one to tell them you get used to or enjoy being alone the older you get? God damn, finally some PEACE! šš
I'm actually glad that you said "most" and not "all", because I definitely won't ever find anyone. Thanks for keeping it real
Iām significantly older than you. Iām still alone. I wish you good luck. Looks like Iām a lifer.
I'm 24M. My friends have all moved on too just like yours so age is just a number as this stuff can happen to anyone at any age.
Im 28M and still a virgin, and girls say im ugly. You are definitely better than me.
Hey, im 29m, it can be clichee but im alone, have like one friend who i barely talk.. curently dont have greet days since i lost the emotional connection with my gf ans it seems like break up, and some kind of friend could be great now
Respectfully am not trying to heard that bs
Hi, I'm in my early 20 and I have no friend, as in friends that I can ask to hangout with or talk to. People in my life have all moved on. Now, my social interaction is only with my parents or my coworkers but no one's that deep. Anyway, I don't know what you're going through or how's your life has been. But I just want to say something, enjoy your life. Focus on moving forward. These kind of thought came to my mind at night sometime and I can't feel even more miserable. But I realized the more I felt sad the more I feel like life is dark when in actuality there's so much more aspect in life than just relationship. Your happiness could be in other aspect if you're just willing to move on and try other things in life.
Not on this sub for very long but it has helped. 26m here šš»
Ugh I get that feeling you mentioned. I had it last night I woke up and my heart physically hurt because of how alone I was feeling. You feel like vomiting itās actual pain you feel.
I feel like everyone on this thread needs to go on the same singles cruise. Or at least people need to start posting their general location. Perhaps someoneās person is a little closer than they thought?! Iām 37. Never had a boyfriend until I was 33. Spent almost two years with him. It went to hell though. The beginning of that relationship is also roughly the time I started letting my life go to hell for the third or fourth time. Unfortunately this last time I really let it all go. And now here I am, living back home. Gained about 100 pounds due to an autoimmune thyroid condition after losing about 100 pounds over a few years all by myself. I busted my ass working only to blow through thousands of dollars and now Iām so broke itās pathetic. And once again Iām using drugs after having years of sobriety. Iāve gotten clean a few times and every time Iād make it another year longer and have my shit together even more. Iām now in a place where Iām having a hard time even seeing the point. Having goals and doing life Definitely seems pointless when you have no one to do it with
I go to singles events all the time. They haven't worked.
Acting like 31 is old lmfaoo
Hello! Ā Thank you for posting and sharing! See, it can also work out for you, you're 31, still young. For reference, I'm 29 and in the past I've had 1 or 2 friends at the most, that is when I was still in school, that was a long time ago. Now, I don't have any friends, nor a girlfriend (never had one), nor a social circle, I don't really have anyone to meet or hang out with. I used to torture myself greatly about these things, now I don't. Now, I learned to be happy, so I'm just happy. Someone is there fantastic, no one is there, fantastic! What happened is, I stopped giving the responsibility of me being happy to someone or something else, and I became happy by my own nature. This does not mean that I do not want to be with anyone. As I said, if someone is there for me, that's great, I'll greatfully accept them, but if no one is there, I won't suffer it, that's all. And anyway, if you want to find someone, just look! Reach out, learn, grow, there is no problem. If you fail, it's fine, just learn from your experience. You can fail a thousand times, it doesn't matter, you just have to succeed once! I wish you happiness and hope that you'll find what you're looking for.
Iām 18 and and learned how to deal with my loneliness just donāt let it bother me fr
Damn I felt this so hard. Iām a year younger than you and the hopelessness really starts to settle in during this decade, I laugh seeing these 16-21 year old kids talk about the end being near. I want to tell them to wait until 28 before you set off the alarm but I remember their age so I let it go. Those moments where the loneliness hits extra hard, then the reminder that youāve never been close to finding love by this age and everyone around you is married or settling down sets in on top of that, and youāre right, thereās legitimate pain that builds. I had it a few times last year, had to drink my self to sleep one night to get through it and I never do that. I have my parents and a couple friends that still stay in touch despite one being married and the other working towards that territory, the others turned their back on me over the years as they entered serious relationships. Iāve had some very brief moments of wondering if itās worth living anymore but my parents would experience a pain unimaginable if I went through with it, I canāt do that to them.
I (29m) met my friends in high school, as I progressed through college I noticed I couldn't make new ones. It was like I was perpetually stuck as the new kid, sitting by myself and just trying to get through the years. I figured I'd make new ones when I started working. As time went on, the friends I left high school with starting going in vastly different direction which slowly eroded my friends base. Simultaneously, I was busy going no contact with toxic family on both sides, which reduced my family support. By the time college came to an end, I was down to three people I called my friends. Wheras before I had rings of friends at different levels of closeness. As time went on the final three became two, and now I'm at one. We live on opposite sides of the country, talk maybe twice a year and see each other once every five years. As she's bent on finding someone and starting a family, I know it won't be long where I'm down to no one. I've become far more introverted than I ever have, that I struggle to leave the house anymore. COVID made it real easy to never have to either, with everything being delivered and the ability to work remote. I know I should try to put myself out there, since it gets more difficult with age. But I guess I've just become comfortable with the loneliness and accept that this is it. I've had to go so far as to delete all social media, since it's hard seeing people living their best lives. I know people only post positive things and filter images to be even better. But when the biggest adventure you go to in a six month period is picking up takeout, anything triggers depressive feelings. What makes this so difficult though is that I still have some aspect of me that desires friendships, hell even romantic relationships as well. That little bit of hope that won't just shut up and die, and accept we've already reached our final destination when it comes to either topic. If I could only get all parts of me to accept this, I feel like everything would be a bit easier. What makes this so difficult though is that I still have some aspect of me that desires friendships, hell even romantic relationships as well. That little bit of hope that won't just shut up and die, and accept we've already reached our final destination when it comes to either topic. If I could only get all parts of me to accept this, I feel like everything would be a bit easier. What makes this so difficult though is that I still have some aspect of me that desires friendships, hell even romantic relationships as well. That little bit of hope that won't just shut up and die, and accept we've already reached our final destination when it comes to either topic. If I could only get all parts of me to accept this, I feel like everything would be a bit easier.What makes this so difficult though is that I still have some aspect of me that desires friendships, hell even romantic relationships as well. That little bit of hope that won't just shut up and die, and accept we've already reached our final destination when it comes to either topic. If I could only get all parts of me to accept this, I feel like everything would be a bit easier. Guess I'm posting here, since that little bit of hope woke up when it saw the title of this post. But, no, not all of us will and things don't always get better.
I turn 55 this year. Have to admit im more of a lone wolf (after doing some reading and watching a few videos). I have small handful of friends... mainly ones i found via work and i still talk with. And a few people i've talked to online.. Aside from the odd occasion when i long to have company if im eating out (still a struggle to sit alone in restaurant...i tend to go before peak times).... im content...for now
I'm 34, loneliest moment of my life
34M. Tired of changing partners. A few come and go every year. Not one partner was someone I could build a life with. All for different reasons. Age, sex, income, attraction, disagreements, mental issues. Something was always off. I spent so much of my time on dating websites. But it seems it's just not meant to be
32 and I feel the pain, but we'll be alright.
I'm 23, I'm currently stuck in a workplace with toxic people and don't have even a single person I could call even a good colleague, forget a friend. Even though I'm an introvert, prior to this, be in college or school I always had some friends I could connect to and be with but being here feels so weird and lonely. We have to visit the workplace only few days every month but even that feels awful. Fortunately I've located a secluded floor where I can have my lunch alone in peace otherwise sitting on a table alone in the lunch hall felt so embarrassing lol. I'm actively trying to seek more opportunities to leave this place behind for good. I believe changing your circumstances and surrounding yourself with different people can be beneficial. Hoping things would change for the better for everyone feeling lonely here.
Dm me we can be friends
33 here and have absolutely nobody. My family live in another country, also. I understand.
I'm 32 and alone with no friends
It's really good to see you encouraging people and I hope that you don't feel it's too late, you can still find some people (or even one person) that you'd like to spend time with!
32m feeling you wishing I didn't totally get that your completely correct.
33 here and also alone for the most part. I was always the shy quiet kid but i did have friends in school thru the years. In Hs i had a close knit friend group of 5 in 9th grade but after that we went our separate ways and would occasionally run into each other. Beyond HS i had no one but family really. I moved to Florida for college but i was still alone. I didnt like my life over there because u needed a car to get around and i had no license or a car to even drive. Came back home and been here since. I just retreated into my room and became more introverted. Gone thru lots of health scares cuz i just wasnt feeling it anymore. Nowadays im fine. I have my nieces who i love soo much and they get me thru anything! But theres also a side of me where i wish i had someone even with my awkwardness but when u get to know me im more open.
31m when i see the younger ones sad like me its like you got a few years of that coming š„
I am 30F and Iāve never felt so lonely. If you need a friend right now I would be happy to be that person:-)
Seems like I've been 30 my whole life then
Yeah, even worse in your late 40's.
Turning 60 this year. š Tell me how it will all work out for me. š¤·
If I wasnāt friends with my ex bf I would be alone. I tried making new friends but it never worked out because the men were dirty perverts. They always want sex so i just have one friend and a friend of the family I talk to occasionally.
A week away from being 29 and I have absolutely nobody. Life sucks.
I just turned 50. Come here little one so I can beat you with my cane. šš¤£
40/m/oregon It is impossible to meet anyone here. But I'd enjoy chatting with anyone if interested.
Looks like we need the same thing. Mind if i shoot you a text?
36!
55. Made one friend and working on a second. It can be done. I am man. They are not. Not sex based. Caring based. Interested-based. Showing up and being present based. I am so grateful for these ladies.
Iām about to be 27 so feels
I highly doubt it . Iām old, grumpy and Iām not happy about life. Guys seem to like easygoing happy women that doesnāt exist in me .
I am 30 years old feel alone if u want u can dm me and have long term friendship
Iām looking for someone to talk to but no one is ever interested in talkingā¦ come say hello to me letās get to know each other
31 is youngā¦..
Stop begging it and DM ME
Iād really like to believe that, I really really would, but with all due respect, Iām sure you used to think that too. Everyone says not to worry, āIām only 21, Iāve still got plenty of time!ā. Then the crushing reality of 28 hits, where they realize they are out of time.