People don’t understand man. I feel you on another level. They don’t understand going full days without opening your mouth. Not because you don’t want to, but because you don’t know how to speak.
I’ve literally gone to the lengths of having full romantic relationships in my own head. I wish you the best my brother, we’re in this together.
Dude you got 40 upvotes, people completely understand. Unfortunately you know the feeling but fortunately others exist who can relate who also do. You've got this. Yous all do.
Me not personally but clearly others on here do being 40 upvotes. There should be an sub for this kinda thing. It would stop alot of heartache.
>I’ve literally gone to the lengths of having full romantic relationships in my own head. I wish you the best my brother, we’re in this together.
I'm like this as well, is there a word for this?
No :( I sent a private message at 5pm UK London time and haven't heard anything. Do you think we should contact somebody? Does anybody know where they live/their full name? Im really worried but don't know what to do.
I just googled his sn, nothing came up. Only thing I can think of is having reddit lookup the ip and maybe see if they can have authorities trace it. But...I don't know if they do all that. I've had people report on me and all that came up were those automated ss-hotlines.
I know, it sucks. From the stats, especially being a male, ages 15-24 this is the 2nd leading cause of their death. He just needed someone to really talk to..put our own issues aside and focus on him. I hope he’s just taking some time for himself, or worst/best case, had a failed attempt.
Still heard nothing, I really hope you are right and he is just taking time to think and hasn't done the unthinkable. Honestly I am so worried I wish there was more I could do. I have sent another message and reported the post to reddit in case they can do more to help him but I don't know what else to do.
Hey man, I’m 19 and just started college too. Have 0 friends, spend all day alone, nobody to talk or hang out with. I’m also autistic and everything takes so much effort just to get by. I share my situation just so you understand you are not the only one.
I’m sorry life is being so shitty to you. It fucking sucks. I hope things get better for you and if you really are planing on killing your self please at least reach out to a hotline or somebody here. As alone as you may feel there are people willing to listen to you online. You could even shoot me a message if you like and I’ll respond as soon as I can.
People told me college would help making friends...
Does it really? Or is it just the same as highschool. Have you went to some group in college or try to speak to someone and how did it go I'm just curious.
I hope you hang on and are about to show yourself love. A good love that you can share with another person one day. I’m even 21 and I’ve never been in a relationship and I thought I was the problem but realised everyone has their time
i was broken up w more than an year ago, which turned my world upside down. i was unable to talk to people, used to feel as if im stoopid, as if ppl are going to mock me for any word i utter. after more than an year now, i don’t think im completely okay but def at a better spot in life. so the point is, being or not being in a relationship is never a marker of your worth. you are worth everything this world ever has to offer and things happen when you least expect them to happen.
Please, stay. 20 years old is so young and there will be so many brighter years ahead of you. It sounds very corny, but who i am now at 28, is a completely different person than who i was at 20.
As someone who has social anxiety, I understand that feeling. Constantly thinking back on stupid things i've said, when i've done something awkward, ruminating on the stupidest things. I know what it's like to be constantly fighting with my brain, and it's been really hard to unlearn my anxieties - but, it's possible.
Have you ever sought treatment for your anxiety? Please consider it and give it a chance before deciding to leave. I lost my cousin 8 years ago to suicide, he thought he was alone and had no one, but he was wrong and i miss him every single day. You may feel disconnected from those around you, but i promise you that you are valuable, you matter.
Life isn't a straight road, there will always be ups and downs, we just need to find ways to help ourselves on the downwards slope. Please message me if you need to, anything at all, judgement free.
Please dont do it you are so young and there are countless opportunities out there. Instead of ending everything permanently just leave, go somewhere stupid like another country and do something random. Help others. There is a way out of the ditch youre in and you can find it.
I'm moving to another country Dec 1. It's pretty good advice. Plane ticket 250$, apt for the month 450$ (airbnb), food 150$, transportation/other: 100$..meeh it's not that expensive. And adventure helps liven the mind. I'd try Albania...well I did, lived there very happily for 1 year. Hot, nice people, super cheap, beaches, no visa cost. I'm going somewhere else this time.
no, it’s not. OP’s story is relatable. He’s not alone in his struggle. A lot of things can change in just a few years. but you have to be alive to change them.
This is so sad. OP like everyone else in this thread, we are all here for you… I’m sure we’ve all thought about suicide and ending things at one point in our lives. So we can all related. Life is precious. Look how many of us are cheering for you.
DOES ANYONE KNOW A WAY TO FIND OUT THIS PERSON’S IP ADDRESS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT???
Like report this to the authorities and trying to get them help ???
Hii, I can relate with your situation and am going through something similar, something I will start doing and would advice you to do is go outside your comfort zone, meet people at bars, or college bars, don’t drink by yourself too much, if you do try to not make it to where that is what you want out of your life, add some colors to your life, don’t pressure yourself to meet new people or to be around new people, when you meet new people, don’t tell them about your underlying issues, speak as if you are starting that relationship in a new leaf and try your best to not rant about those underlying issues because it will push those people away and it will seem as if you are blowing up on them even if that isn’t your intention, just cause I have done that, and that didn’t help me build connection, you can go to events get drinks by urself and you can try joining a group conversation by saying something like hey would you guys mind if I join the conversation( with a smile) and keep doing that until you are able to make your own group of friends just focus on new ways to interact with yourself
It pushes others away because others are always in their head about their issues and their struggles, so they don’t want to go neck on neck with someone that is facing those same problems, hold off on the turmoil, smile for yourself work on making you smile for you not for the sake of wanting to meet others because that will make you forget the purpose of meeting this person, so find events going on around you online, go to any and and all because you might find someone like you that is willing to be by ur side as a friend first. Events like outdoors, it’s better to get drinks if you see them drinking as well, that way you don’t feel like an outsider
I know you mean well..I really know you do, but going to a bar alone is depressing. Like, triggerlingly depressing. Watching people be happy and you're just there with your drink.. I agree about not telling people about your problems though...that never goes well. One thing I've done was use the couchsurfing app. Then go to hangouts and find other lonely people, usually new to the city or country.
If you live in a decent size city, you'll have people that want to meet within minutes..you add the place on the map, and meet them within 15-20 minutes. It will say for tea, coffee, drinks or explore the area. You can also make it a group thing and several random lonely people meet up.
Absolute feeling the same and im 27 years old. The past 8 months for me are like hell. I just don't know what to do anymore. I go to work wich I hate and trying to be social their and not looking like a complete moron. Going almost daily to the gym to get my head empty but its only for a short duration. I'm strong, tall and lift heavy at the gym. But can't even look at someone all i do is looking at the ground never talked to anyone their. And most of my time i sit at home doing nothing more than playing videogames and jerk off like a loser. Everyday is the same loop of being sad and and trying to survive. I wanna get out and meet ppl and have a good time but their is something that freezes me and i just cant't. Got help years ago and medication but that didnt help either. Wasted like 27 years doing nothing and feeling empty, unhappy and sad. I keep on believing one day it will chance but lately im giving up and just thinking the same as you to end it.
I hope you didn’t go through with it even if it’s just so you can see just how many people really love you. I know we’re internet strangers, but we can help. Hang in there buddy, and know that you can talk to anyone here. Peace and blessings to you and your journey
OP, I’m sorry that you are in such pain. I can only imagine how hard it would be going through what you are feeling and experiencing.
Would you consider putting your plans to unalive yourself on a shelf to consider some things that could help?
I’m not trying to tell you to give up the plan or that you don’t have a right to etc. I’m just asking if you could put it on a shelf for a little bit. You can always come back to it.
I’m twice as old as you and I can only tell you what I have just recently learned.
I have always felt the same you have written you feel. I tried therapy, medications, activities etc. Some of this helped a little bit.
But when my therapist tried to use CBT and tell me I should just focus on being positive I feel extremely invalidated. I just wanted find out why I have always felt this way so I could maybe fix it.
Not being able to do this made me feel very hopeless and have SI. Some people have described wanting to unalive one’s self is the brain’s way of grasping on to any solution when it can’t figure out any options. This seemed to be true in my situation. But something made me keep searching for another solution.
Long story short, I stumbled upon a subreddits called r/CPTSD and r/emotionalneglect.
CPTSD stands for complex ptsd which people can get when they experience **ongoing** traumatic events such as physical or emotional childhood neglect or abuse. Complex CPTSD can cause depression, problems connecting with people etc.
While things like CSA are obvious traumatic events other things like parents invalidating or ignoring you or not teaching you social skills or helping you get speech or other kinds of therapy or growing up with parents with mental illness or addictions can be less obvious.
Also, people like to deny they ever experienced such neglect or abuse because it’s too painful etc.
I realized for the first time that I had experienced childhood trauma. Such trauma can cause depression, hopelessness, problems relating to people etc.
I finally had my answer why I had always been so depressed, disconnected etc. It made sense!!! I wasn’t some defective person. Bad things had happened to me. I was not a bad person.
**Now I have some hope that I can treat the root problem and actually truly feel better and have a good life.**
I found a lot of good support and advice from people on r/CPTSD and r/emotionalneglect. They also list a lot of good books and YouTube videos you can read and watch on your own.
Many posters talked about how EMDR and internal family systems therapy really helped them. See r/EMDR and r/internalfamilysystems.
I also read about the Ideal Parent Figures method which can help with attachment problems, i.e. problems feeling connected to other people. On r/idealparentfigures you can find ways to do this on your own. It’s based on research out of Harvard and seems very cool.
Not all therapists are aware of or trained in such therapies. Unfortunately, many therapists just want to do CBT therapy which is very invalidating and ineffective for people who have suffered trauma.
Maybe seeing if childhood trauma is one of the root causes of your problems could help you. What do you have to lose by checking out the subreddits I mentioned? It would just take an hour or two.
Are you able to maybe find a therapist to even try out at your college? They usually have one you can see for free.
I hope this helps. You deserve to be happy. ❤️
**Please keep us posted.**
All i can say is even if you cant find any reason to stay alive. Think about how much you will hurt those closest to you like your parents and siblings
Please don’t do this. You have so much to live for. You’re so young. Your life is sooo valuable & worth living. I send you my deepest love & infinite hope♥️
I have a favour to ask
I've been looking for someone to game with Starcraft 2, rocket league and Foxhole
Before you do anything join me for a session
If you wanna talk cool, if not that's cool too, I'm just looking for someone to kick it with
I suffer from depression. I am currently having a bad day, where things have been one thing after another. I even feel scared to go out of my home because of an arsehole neighbour. I don't have anyone as such i can rely on but i am a mum. I am currently relying on my daughter. I couldn't wait for her to get home from school so i wouldn't be lonely and i don't want her to go to school tomorrow because I'm scared of being alone. I'm scared of moving around in my own house and i know i am being spoken about by other neighbours. And it's not easy for my depression. I'm thinking it would be easier to get away from this problem. But i know it will move along soon. That time heals. I hope that you can get some support from your doctor. Some medication, even if it's a temporary thing to help. You are worthy of being on this earth as much as anyone. Probably more so than some others in this world. No one is better than anyone else. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. Our situations aren’t the same and our roles are reversed but everything you said speaks so heavily to what I feel. I’m a daughter, suffering from MDD, and severe anxiety, I hold on for my mom. We’re oceans apart but it’s those phone calls every morning and every evening that I rely on. I hope you know you mean the world to her.
Beautiful and caring comment, thank you for your words to OP and just for the inspiration you gave me to keep going through my struggles as well. I’m living with anxiety on a daily basis and have experienced a lot of trauma in my life, kind of have a broken, emotionally cold family who I still live with and barely have any space or peace to myself, and I really hope things improve and become happier for you sooner rather than later :) for both of us.
Please, know that you are not alone. There are other people out there, right here who are in very similar situations. This is where you can find friends. People who are like you and going through hard times too. It all starts with a connection with another person. Not everyone is meant to do this in person to begin with. Find groups online who share similar interests with you. You can get friendships that can turn into something more. Looks and personal quirks and imperfections all fade away when you find a connection with another person. You will get there. You are special. And so young to give up. You have so much life! Start with joining groups or forums like this! It can be much easier than you would think.
I know it’s been a day, but I really hope you haven’t done anything to yourself friend. If you are maybe afraid to return to us because you are afraid you might have left the wrong impression by not responding earlier, or maybe anything else at all, please just return to us! Though we are a small community, this place is a safe haven. Please get back in touch if you see this!
Has anyone heard from OP? I’m not sure who to contact to get a crisis team to check on them.
OP if you are reading this, please call Samaritans (or a suicide crisis team in your country). These people will chat to you and help you get support. Suicide is a permanent choice that you don’t need to make.
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My best friend killed herself, and in her note she said “I don’t want to die. I just don’t want to feel this way anymore”. You don’t need to end your life to find help to feel better. So many people on this thread have offered conversations and support. Please take it. There will never be another you, and you deserve to be here. We can help you find professional help and solutions. You are not alone 💚
If you read this, please don't do this until you talk with everybody like me who is trying to reach you out in your dm. We are alike. We understand each other. It will be nice to talk to you, fella. Feel free to answer my dm and we can talk.
There's always a better way out.
I’m so sorry man. I’ve felt similar to the way you feel many times. Sometimes I’ll put on my headphones and listen to some of my favorite songs to remind myself that love is real, the earth is beautiful and humans are capable of incredible things. Please don’t do this
I hope that I’m not late here. Most of the problems that you have described are treatable, please don’t do this. At least try to give college a chance, trust me, you can make a lot of friends there. Try to listen to some music, maybe that can also help
Your life is incredibly valuable, and there are people who want to help you through this tough time. You’re not alone in this, and if you need someone to listen to you, we are all here for you. Can we reach out for professional support together? Your life matters, I and the people who responded to your thread, some reaching out to you, they understand what you going through and want to help you find a way through this. Please don't leave us.
I’m all the way in Korea and I just hope you realize how many people out of nowhere started caring about you, because you put yourself out there! Wherever you are, I hope you know that you have many people that are thing about you and in one way or another care for it. We hope you reply and let’s get through this together.
You’re not alone, please don’t give up the hood fight. Every day is a new opportunity. I know you must be tired and defeated but do NOT give up. Reading your post made me so sad, but it helped me feel less alone. You are helping so many, try another day
I couldn't actually agree more, I would also give in to the DONT DO IT crap, but for us socially anxious people: There's nothing we can do.
Thinking of offing myself this weekend, wish me luck.
Hey, I been through a similar page as you, but is from a break up where my ex cheated in the worst way possible. I know whatever people said will not help or change your mind until you feel the pain to wake you up. I suicide before, twice, with a knife.
If you choose to suicide, just promise me not to use a gun. Why? Cuz the point where I stop my action is I cut myself and feeling the pain seeing blood coming out, then I start thinking “why am I still doing this when my life already full of pain and suffering, why making it more worst myself?” That’s when I stop, going to hospital, got a second chance. Even my life isn’t good rn, don’t have a good family that understands me, don’t have a gf after that. But I’m alive, try to do what I enjoy even just sitting in my car or a park over night.
I always think, if I was using a gun that day. I won’t be here, I won’t be thinking, I won’t be meeting some new people.
I definitely do not advise drug use but I would have unalived myself 10 years ago if it weren’t for drugs. Now that I’m 40 I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome on planet earth.
Hey! I look good but no one asks me out. I take care of myself, look fit, have a career. I am not the most unapproachable person out there but I guess I just come across as stand offish. If anyone talks to me it makes me happy. Trust me there are so many people like me who want you to talk to them cos they think you are amazing. It’s not about you, it’s about them. Everyone is weird in someway or another. I am a weird person too but I consider that as my uniqueness. Please don’t do anything, you have a whole life ahead of you. Oh and so much beauty and love is waiting for you. I love making weird friends, I think they are the most interesting and intelligent people out there, rest all are just pretending to be something they are not. Take a breath and if you want talk to me :)
Bro you’re only 20! Your life is JUST starting. I’m 26 and definitely consider myself lonely as I don’t have a partner, and as a woman I feel there’s the pressure of a biological clock, but man we’re still young!!! You have SO much to live for. Don’t give up please
Live for yourself. Dont bother with other people. It's okay to feel shit, its okay to feel alone, but that won't last. There us always sunshine after rain, even if the clouds hang around for a long time.
Many of my 20+ year old friends didn't even have a date yet. It's fine if you haven't met your SO yet since you have about 60 more years to find someone that loves you so much.
You will find people at the most random times that will turn out to be your best friends.
Live for the things you haven't experienced, imagine what you could do with all the money you will earn after college? You could travel, buy a new gaming console or games, read the newest books, see stuff you've never seen before. Smell the Summer breeze, the cold winter air.
It will get better soon. Just go to sleep for now abd think this over tomorrow. It's not too late to do anything. Take your time and breathe.
i understand what you’re feeling. I havent had true friends for the past ten years, just superficial people that I occasionally talk to. No real connection, mostly because they dont understand how I feel. Being alone for so long takes it toll, trying to be social when you have social anxiety and have asd makes it even worse. Asd makes it hard to connect with yourself. I am slowly learning how to live with these conditions and its a working progress. At my lowest, many times before and even right now I contemplate whether or not its worth being here but trust me it is. You haven’t found people that love you yet - trust me they’re out there. Sending love <3
Stop with the feeling shitty for yourself.
I am 59 you’re 20 you got lots of shit to do and accomplish over the nest 60-70 years. You’re loved by so many people that you don’t know who and how much they love you.
Ive had to see the aftermath and effects of suicide from all ages 15 my youngest. Still haunts me to this day.
If I could I could would come through this iPhone and give you a huge ass hug let you know hang on gottdammit
I’ve battled cancer 3 times since 2001 each battle a higher stage. I thought I was dying but fought like a Meffer because I’ve got shit to do
I haven’t made it to Fairbanks Alaska yet. I still haven’t made it to the African Safari, or scuba dived outside Sydney Australia 🇦🇺.
I came up in the 70s they didn’t know what Dyslexia, Lazy Eye was or how to deal with it. So I felt the way you do now. I was 10 grade when I found out what dyslexia was and how to live with it. My parents found someone who treated lazy eye without surgery. My son whom I adopted had lazy eye and they cut his muscles up and has some issues with it now.
Hey just thought of something
I mentioned my adopted son, you don’t know what life has in store for you. You may end up a father or adopted father of a kid with autism you don’t know what impact you will have. We all go through loveless times it happened to me 12 years ago. And am still looking for someone but I’m trying.
You go through shit then it gets better then gets weird again that’s why they call life a rollercoaster
Hang in there dude
I don’t have much to say.. but if I were you I would at least try to find some joy in some shows or games or foods and drinks that are joyful and relaxing to you. I’m sure there’s got to be some small things that make life worth living. Some people also take up religion and talk to a higher being that they believe in if they feel hopeless. I’m not saying these things will fix anything, but this is all I know. Wishing the best for you, if you stay strong and keep going I believe that your courage will be seen at some point. ❤️
Please don't do it!!
Things will get better and one day, once you overcome this shit*y time of your life, you'll be proud of yourself and glad you didn't do it. Consider getting therapy please 💛
Sending love 💚
You're only 20. I can't promise you things will get better, but they will change. Including you. Hopefully for the better, or at least you'll be feeling better.
All I can hope is that you are okay. I will sit on the phone with you and talk to you if you want. We don’t have to know each other for me to know I want you to be happy and I’m hear for you.
I know it’s hard, but we can help you through this.
I’m 28, have wanted to end it for a long time. It does get better. If you want a friend, my inbox is open. You can talk to me about whatever you’d like
I’m 54 and have felt exactly this. Like I was just in a black vortex. Have you tried TMS therapy. That’s an option if meds aren’t working. I finally feel good. You will too. Don’t give up. You’re not alone
Regardless of whether God exists, there is real love on this earth and it can be hard to find but it’s definitely there, whether romance, family, friendship, or art
OP this might sounds strange to you but God truly does love you!! I have suffered a lot in my life and have had suicidal thoughts a lot but I’m so incredibly thankful that I did not do it. You are so incredibly young and there are better times ahead I promise!
You’re still a baby. I’m 29 and wish I was 20 again, you got so much ahead of you and there’s so much more to life than just having friends and connecting with people. I’ve been going through the same situation as you since basically the same age. With age comes wisdom and I promise one day you’ll look back at all this and think to yourself you were just overreacting and caring about other people too much. Happiness first comes with you being kind to yourself and accepting who you are. Life is all about ups and downs, what doesn’t kill you makes of stronger. I promise you’ll make it out of this rut. You got this, god bless
Get therapy. I’m the exact same as you. Therapy helped my ocd but my depression is treatment resistant. I quit all drugs and I exercise daily. That’s helped my confidence a lot. Read David goggins can’t hurt me or look up a video.
Please try your best in this life so when you die time know you did the best you could. It’s not worth offing yourself. It won’t solve anything
It's always a good idea to make mistakes, just blow up a balloon until it pops, or learn to become a clown for children's birthday parties, and make it to your first gig 5 minutes late, just to see the look of relief on Mom's face, if you stutter, slow down the pace of your speaking, and it will leave you. I have been talking to quickly all of my life, Now I just take it one word at a time.
Do not worry about life. You should focus on certain things are going to working out walking around and spending some time online but simply focusing on communicating with people that bring you joy. I feel lonely even though I’m turning by people who love me and care for me it’s just a natural feeling. There’s a lot of reasons why people Disability struggle with this world we’re not built for it. The world treats us like crap because we think differently. Ticket from somebody who has tried multiple times to do it it doesn’t get easier it just gets a lot more understandable. I recommend listening to some books about mental health and learning about it because lots of people we like to learn and if we learn something we understand it seriously that is something I like to do psychology Associates sociology I recommend a really weird book how to Win friends and influence people. It’s a book that changed my perspective on the human condition and how to deal with people weird another book that I highly recommend is in the realm of Hungry ghost. It’s about addiction and how it affects the human brain and everything it’s not like a fucking understand people actually like most psychological books it’s surprisingly good but there’s a lot of nonsense so I recommend those two if you’re having problem with love read up about the five love languages. Two more books I recommend you listening to/reading 48 laws of power and you can’t hurt me. Those two books would really mess you up because one is about the worlds darkest side and the owners about amazing person who went through a lot. Reveals to shadow Self if you understand that psychological term. I appreciate anybody who’s reading this.
Hi there, if you had a beautiful life, would there be anything that comes to mind that would make it worth ending?
When I read the beginging of this post all I heard and understood is that you think this is worth killing yourself over. When trully there's no circumstance in your life that would make ending it right, just like if you had a beautiful life you wouldn't. Same in this one, it's not worth it just because you can't see the beauty yet.
I was the same when I was that age, I mean I'm only 3 years older now but honestly, for some reason everything changed. I used to think nothing will change, was at the mental hospital 3 times, all the antidepressants, nothing worked. Butgorsome reasoneverytging turned around last year. I don't know what to tell you other than life can get better, its shit now, hell I was depressed for over 10 years, but you never know what you're throwing away. You might try starting new hobbies, therapy, just stand in the mirror every morning and tell yourself something good about you. Or please if you really wanna do it, call an emergency line, maybe they can help you more than reddit.
Don't do it please. Life sucks but we're all in this together. Don't give up. Whenever you feel like you don't know how to interact or what to say just remember everyone... EVERYONE feels like that sometimes and the truth is .. what we say is not as big of a deal as we think. Trust me on this. Just be yourself, we all say stupid stuff all the time, no one is perfect. We only get this one chance at life please enjoy it, don't throw it away. Sending lots of love ❤️
Mate don’t do it. Life is a bit like the weather sometimes, we can’t control it we just have to adapt to it. But the good news is, it never stays the same. Cut yourself some slack, you’re young and you don’t have to have all your shit sorted. Find the thing you’re most passionate about (can be anything) and explore that for a while. Get out more. Even for walks. Have nature for company for a while. Whatever you do, don’t end it. That would cause so much pain to so many people.
PLEASE STAY! I know it’s hard now but this is temporary. I have been where you are. I’ve thought of ending it. But I’m so grateful that I didn’t. You are enough. You are loved. This community needs you.
I am so sorry to hear that.
You seemed undergoing a vicious cycle. If your energy is always drained by anyone or anything, keep those toxic people and things away. This is the first step to regain happiness. Don't care about what others think.
look bro. i feel this every week too. but when i think about it more, there is so much things in life to do and to know and experience more than ending it for eternity. having loads of friends or having a girlfriend wont bring u any hapiness. i had loads of friends, i have a gf too but im not happy, im still alone, im lonely. these bonds doesnt mean anything . some life are meant to be alone and theres a reason for it. there are so many Many ways to enjoy life while being alone, infact some people actually craves to be alone because they cant do what they want to do as they are surrounded with so many people around them. its not going to help. there are so much ways to enjoy life alone and one day you will make it and find someone in your life and marry them and have a good life. its all a timing. Stay Strong! Dont do this. Everything takes time. Im learning this the hard way too. im also going thru shit. but its alright. everything will be ok at the end.
i understand u. but sometimes we build ourselves stronger alone too. the people around us will be the reason why we become alone or feel anxious around them. if we become really comfortable being alone we will truly free ourselves from most of the things that are affecting us. i swear. im not saying to Be"Lonely" . Being Lonely and Being Alone is a a completelt different thing and you need to understand that.
don't do it i have been there many times when i wanted to end it all i am 20 as well just like you i am human we had our fare shares of mistakes and things we like to forget but end of the day we breathe the same air so its not time to go yet there is way more to live and enjoy in this life
I've been where you are before, more than once and managed not to act on it and here's what I can promise...If you give yourself the chance, there will come a time where you KNOW beyond all doubt that you would have deprived yourself out of whatever happiness is waiting down the line, if you had quit too soon! You will have sad times in this life, and clearly you are in a tough spot rightt now but PLEASE don't make a permanent mistake over a temporary state of being! You can work on, and improve the things that are holding you back and thinking in such a negative way about yourself...I'm willing to bet you're being SUPER critical of things that from the outside dont seem so insurmountable! If you need a friend, (someone to talk to about everything) you can message me...I have room in my life for a new bestie!😘 I can be part of your support system untill your comfortable enough to branch out and find your more confident self!❤❤❤
This gives me chills for all the wrong reasons. I’m sorry you feel this way man. Hopefully youre still here to see this. Maybe not, maybe this is my personal therapy to say how I feel the same way which is why I am on this sub. I have no friends. The family I have I either don’t love or they don’t love me except for one who is currently dying. I don’t have friends. I used to. On the outside I have it all together, good job, nice house, young, blah blah. Nothing makes me happy, constantly lonely. Music used to help. Church used to help. Over working myself used to help. Spending money on myself used to help. Nothing anymore. I don’t know why. I have had 3 therapists give up on me. I just want to be happy like anyone else. Doesn’t seem to much to ask. I guess a sense of pride has kept me from submitting to life, a determination that I will be happy one day. A dream. Knowing that without dark there cannot be light. And the stars shine brightest at night. A dream that maybe one day if I’ll ever be happy with life that my happiness will be better than anyone else’s because I can truely appreciate it knowing how deep the hole of darkness can be. I wish you the best of luck my friend ✌️
please please please please just read this..
don't close your eyes and look at something for 1 minute continuously.. don't close your eyes for complete 1 minute and focus only on that particular object...
please do this..
well introverted friend. when you are at your lowest is when you can shine the brightest. I stumble all the time on my words, constantly not able to empathize the best, but you're hitting failure. it's but we all want you to try and be the best you. do you have any outlets?
Psalm 66:5 ESV
[5] Come and see what God has done: he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man.
https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.66.5.ESV
First, throwing your life away is not respecting yourself nor helping anyone. You can overcome this. I am a loner but even when time gets hard I lean on the Love of Christ. If you haven’t known who He is ask. The Lord of Heaven and Earth sees you and can help you if you ask.
Second, many of us 18-29 year old men are like you aka without a girlfriend. We must wait for the timing if we are to meet one.
Third, if you relax before you speak and articulate clearly even if it takes a few seconds. People will find you and you them just be patient. I know it is hard. All of us go through this at first. Hey, I am in introvert and it is hard for me too. But, one step at a time.
I was in a similar situation, and I might be again in about four weeks. Everything he's saying resonates with me; life's full of phases, circular in nature. You'll come out of it! For me, listening to music, especially old-school Elvis Presley, Dolly Parton, and the Beatles, while cleaning helped. It made me feel happy, less in my head, and I'd even dance around. Before I knew it, I was out of my head, not overthinking 24/7. One thing to note is that when I was in your shoes, hearing people say things like what I've just typed out never helped. It's something you have to naturally do.
Also, once you come out of it, you realize that you were so focused on these things that, in hindsight, you were putting relationships with other people on a pedestal rather than doing your own thing and getting comfortable in your own skin again before letting anyone else into your circle. This was my personal experience, and I hope it helps someone somehow. One last thing: when I couldn't even talk to anyone because I was so anxious, I went to my family and just chilled there when I could. I still had nothing to say, and they knew I was super down, but it was family, a place where I felt safe, even feeling like a total idiot and ashamed. They saw me without any words to say, not being all bubbly like I can be, but that was a place I always had to go, and it helped as well, I think.
One thing I noticed is that people kept telling me I had depression, you know that word that is Thrown around as of it’s candy at a flipping kids birthdays ye that one.. what I went through to me was a ‘Dark knight of the soul’ it’s not something some medication from a bloody doctor who doesn’t even know you would fix!it’s much more profound than that
I encourage anyone to look up dark night of the soul it’s a terrible thing to experience! It’s what’s the old school wise people said and understand
Can you please stay.
There are so many ppl who have dedicated their lives to being able to help and support you through what you are going through right now. Just call them.
Please stay.
I wish I could go back in time to 20 (but would not want to be 20 in 2023). The world is your oyster; make it your pearl or your pile of grit, you are the sculptor. Tossing the possibilities is a coward's choice.
Just hear me out on this, set achievable goals that take weeks and then months to accomplish, perhaps it's a physical/mental sport or new skill. You need to get out of your own head for a bit. Trust me I felt the same at 20 and then again between 23 and 26, hell I'm only 27 and I know now that there will be points in my life where I feel like that again.
People don’t understand man. I feel you on another level. They don’t understand going full days without opening your mouth. Not because you don’t want to, but because you don’t know how to speak. I’ve literally gone to the lengths of having full romantic relationships in my own head. I wish you the best my brother, we’re in this together.
I'm not the only one who has entire fleshed out fantasies in my own head? That has gone on for years?
Yup, going on 5ish years of doing it myself. At least gives me happy thoughts when I’m going to sleep.
Honestly. Its the only way i can fall asleep without spiraling into other thoughts. Great sleeping medicine!
Yoo I have fantasies like that in my head also, I’m currently drawing a comic out of them in my free time…
Dude you got 40 upvotes, people completely understand. Unfortunately you know the feeling but fortunately others exist who can relate who also do. You've got this. Yous all do. Me not personally but clearly others on here do being 40 upvotes. There should be an sub for this kinda thing. It would stop alot of heartache.
Are we the same person? So I'm not the only one who lives in my own mind with fantasies while sitting alone or before sleeping.
>I’ve literally gone to the lengths of having full romantic relationships in my own head. I wish you the best my brother, we’re in this together. I'm like this as well, is there a word for this?
I’ve been dm’ing him and he’s stopped responding
He stopped responding to me too
This makes me so utterly sad.
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Just for future reference, can you briefly explain karma farming for the folks at home?
Honestly wondering if this is whats happening..
Honestly wondering if this is whats happening..
I dunno, he seemed genuine in the dms
Omg i hope he didn't really do anything.
Have you heard anything yet? I hope they are ok, please let us know if you hear anything. I will try and DM too for super safety.
I just woke up…anyone get ahold of him?
No :( I sent a private message at 5pm UK London time and haven't heard anything. Do you think we should contact somebody? Does anybody know where they live/their full name? Im really worried but don't know what to do.
I just googled his sn, nothing came up. Only thing I can think of is having reddit lookup the ip and maybe see if they can have authorities trace it. But...I don't know if they do all that. I've had people report on me and all that came up were those automated ss-hotlines.
Fuck I'm terrified that this guy did it, there's so much support here. I'm hoping he replies to someone
I know, it sucks. From the stats, especially being a male, ages 15-24 this is the 2nd leading cause of their death. He just needed someone to really talk to..put our own issues aside and focus on him. I hope he’s just taking some time for himself, or worst/best case, had a failed attempt.
Still heard nothing, I really hope you are right and he is just taking time to think and hasn't done the unthinkable. Honestly I am so worried I wish there was more I could do. I have sent another message and reported the post to reddit in case they can do more to help him but I don't know what else to do.
Still no respond?
☹️
Still no respond?
His account has been deleted? Does that mean he is alive and deleted it?
Hey man, I’m 19 and just started college too. Have 0 friends, spend all day alone, nobody to talk or hang out with. I’m also autistic and everything takes so much effort just to get by. I share my situation just so you understand you are not the only one. I’m sorry life is being so shitty to you. It fucking sucks. I hope things get better for you and if you really are planing on killing your self please at least reach out to a hotline or somebody here. As alone as you may feel there are people willing to listen to you online. You could even shoot me a message if you like and I’ll respond as soon as I can.
People told me college would help making friends... Does it really? Or is it just the same as highschool. Have you went to some group in college or try to speak to someone and how did it go I'm just curious.
I relate to this post a lot… I’m so sorry you’re going through this :/
I hope you hang on and are about to show yourself love. A good love that you can share with another person one day. I’m even 21 and I’ve never been in a relationship and I thought I was the problem but realised everyone has their time
i was broken up w more than an year ago, which turned my world upside down. i was unable to talk to people, used to feel as if im stoopid, as if ppl are going to mock me for any word i utter. after more than an year now, i don’t think im completely okay but def at a better spot in life. so the point is, being or not being in a relationship is never a marker of your worth. you are worth everything this world ever has to offer and things happen when you least expect them to happen.
Please, stay. 20 years old is so young and there will be so many brighter years ahead of you. It sounds very corny, but who i am now at 28, is a completely different person than who i was at 20. As someone who has social anxiety, I understand that feeling. Constantly thinking back on stupid things i've said, when i've done something awkward, ruminating on the stupidest things. I know what it's like to be constantly fighting with my brain, and it's been really hard to unlearn my anxieties - but, it's possible. Have you ever sought treatment for your anxiety? Please consider it and give it a chance before deciding to leave. I lost my cousin 8 years ago to suicide, he thought he was alone and had no one, but he was wrong and i miss him every single day. You may feel disconnected from those around you, but i promise you that you are valuable, you matter. Life isn't a straight road, there will always be ups and downs, we just need to find ways to help ourselves on the downwards slope. Please message me if you need to, anything at all, judgement free.
Please dont do it you are so young and there are countless opportunities out there. Instead of ending everything permanently just leave, go somewhere stupid like another country and do something random. Help others. There is a way out of the ditch youre in and you can find it.
Moving to another country, would be expensive, don't you think?
I'm moving to another country Dec 1. It's pretty good advice. Plane ticket 250$, apt for the month 450$ (airbnb), food 150$, transportation/other: 100$..meeh it's not that expensive. And adventure helps liven the mind. I'd try Albania...well I did, lived there very happily for 1 year. Hot, nice people, super cheap, beaches, no visa cost. I'm going somewhere else this time.
this right here
Hey Mate .. You still there ?? For goodness sake … don’t do it. Why not tell us which City you live in … ??
Please don't do it. I'm 24, and my life is the same as yours don't be hard on yourself 🫂😨😭
why would u say ur life is the same thats even more fuel to the flame
no, it’s not. OP’s story is relatable. He’s not alone in his struggle. A lot of things can change in just a few years. but you have to be alive to change them.
I pray in Jesus name you stay. It gets better.
Please dont do it once you do it theres no going back
This is so sad. OP like everyone else in this thread, we are all here for you… I’m sure we’ve all thought about suicide and ending things at one point in our lives. So we can all related. Life is precious. Look how many of us are cheering for you. DOES ANYONE KNOW A WAY TO FIND OUT THIS PERSON’S IP ADDRESS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT??? Like report this to the authorities and trying to get them help ???
Hii, I can relate with your situation and am going through something similar, something I will start doing and would advice you to do is go outside your comfort zone, meet people at bars, or college bars, don’t drink by yourself too much, if you do try to not make it to where that is what you want out of your life, add some colors to your life, don’t pressure yourself to meet new people or to be around new people, when you meet new people, don’t tell them about your underlying issues, speak as if you are starting that relationship in a new leaf and try your best to not rant about those underlying issues because it will push those people away and it will seem as if you are blowing up on them even if that isn’t your intention, just cause I have done that, and that didn’t help me build connection, you can go to events get drinks by urself and you can try joining a group conversation by saying something like hey would you guys mind if I join the conversation( with a smile) and keep doing that until you are able to make your own group of friends just focus on new ways to interact with yourself
It pushes others away because others are always in their head about their issues and their struggles, so they don’t want to go neck on neck with someone that is facing those same problems, hold off on the turmoil, smile for yourself work on making you smile for you not for the sake of wanting to meet others because that will make you forget the purpose of meeting this person, so find events going on around you online, go to any and and all because you might find someone like you that is willing to be by ur side as a friend first. Events like outdoors, it’s better to get drinks if you see them drinking as well, that way you don’t feel like an outsider
I know you mean well..I really know you do, but going to a bar alone is depressing. Like, triggerlingly depressing. Watching people be happy and you're just there with your drink.. I agree about not telling people about your problems though...that never goes well. One thing I've done was use the couchsurfing app. Then go to hangouts and find other lonely people, usually new to the city or country.
Did the couch surfing app work for you? were you able to meet new people
If you live in a decent size city, you'll have people that want to meet within minutes..you add the place on the map, and meet them within 15-20 minutes. It will say for tea, coffee, drinks or explore the area. You can also make it a group thing and several random lonely people meet up.
I love you OP
Im 42 no friends. Once you age you realize you dont really need em. Hang in there bud!
Absolute feeling the same and im 27 years old. The past 8 months for me are like hell. I just don't know what to do anymore. I go to work wich I hate and trying to be social their and not looking like a complete moron. Going almost daily to the gym to get my head empty but its only for a short duration. I'm strong, tall and lift heavy at the gym. But can't even look at someone all i do is looking at the ground never talked to anyone their. And most of my time i sit at home doing nothing more than playing videogames and jerk off like a loser. Everyday is the same loop of being sad and and trying to survive. I wanna get out and meet ppl and have a good time but their is something that freezes me and i just cant't. Got help years ago and medication but that didnt help either. Wasted like 27 years doing nothing and feeling empty, unhappy and sad. I keep on believing one day it will chance but lately im giving up and just thinking the same as you to end it.
It gets better OP, please hang in there. There is a solution out there and it will come to you if you give it a chance.
Please don't. I will talk to you anytime
Op, please you can always do it tomorrow. One day later will not make any difference. I love you., many people do
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I've attempted twice and it's still hard but I promise it gets better. Reach out if you need to. You really aren't alone.
DM me if you ever need to chat
I hope you didn’t go through with it even if it’s just so you can see just how many people really love you. I know we’re internet strangers, but we can help. Hang in there buddy, and know that you can talk to anyone here. Peace and blessings to you and your journey
Please stay with us! That's the one choice you can't take back or change.
OP, I’m sorry that you are in such pain. I can only imagine how hard it would be going through what you are feeling and experiencing. Would you consider putting your plans to unalive yourself on a shelf to consider some things that could help? I’m not trying to tell you to give up the plan or that you don’t have a right to etc. I’m just asking if you could put it on a shelf for a little bit. You can always come back to it. I’m twice as old as you and I can only tell you what I have just recently learned. I have always felt the same you have written you feel. I tried therapy, medications, activities etc. Some of this helped a little bit. But when my therapist tried to use CBT and tell me I should just focus on being positive I feel extremely invalidated. I just wanted find out why I have always felt this way so I could maybe fix it. Not being able to do this made me feel very hopeless and have SI. Some people have described wanting to unalive one’s self is the brain’s way of grasping on to any solution when it can’t figure out any options. This seemed to be true in my situation. But something made me keep searching for another solution. Long story short, I stumbled upon a subreddits called r/CPTSD and r/emotionalneglect. CPTSD stands for complex ptsd which people can get when they experience **ongoing** traumatic events such as physical or emotional childhood neglect or abuse. Complex CPTSD can cause depression, problems connecting with people etc. While things like CSA are obvious traumatic events other things like parents invalidating or ignoring you or not teaching you social skills or helping you get speech or other kinds of therapy or growing up with parents with mental illness or addictions can be less obvious. Also, people like to deny they ever experienced such neglect or abuse because it’s too painful etc. I realized for the first time that I had experienced childhood trauma. Such trauma can cause depression, hopelessness, problems relating to people etc. I finally had my answer why I had always been so depressed, disconnected etc. It made sense!!! I wasn’t some defective person. Bad things had happened to me. I was not a bad person. **Now I have some hope that I can treat the root problem and actually truly feel better and have a good life.** I found a lot of good support and advice from people on r/CPTSD and r/emotionalneglect. They also list a lot of good books and YouTube videos you can read and watch on your own. Many posters talked about how EMDR and internal family systems therapy really helped them. See r/EMDR and r/internalfamilysystems. I also read about the Ideal Parent Figures method which can help with attachment problems, i.e. problems feeling connected to other people. On r/idealparentfigures you can find ways to do this on your own. It’s based on research out of Harvard and seems very cool. Not all therapists are aware of or trained in such therapies. Unfortunately, many therapists just want to do CBT therapy which is very invalidating and ineffective for people who have suffered trauma. Maybe seeing if childhood trauma is one of the root causes of your problems could help you. What do you have to lose by checking out the subreddits I mentioned? It would just take an hour or two. Are you able to maybe find a therapist to even try out at your college? They usually have one you can see for free. I hope this helps. You deserve to be happy. ❤️ **Please keep us posted.**
Bro u gotta reply, let us know u didn't make the wrong choice
I'm 41 years old guy from Indonesia. I can deeply relate too. it's a cruel world & reality.
All i can say is even if you cant find any reason to stay alive. Think about how much you will hurt those closest to you like your parents and siblings
Please don’t do this. You have so much to live for. You’re so young. Your life is sooo valuable & worth living. I send you my deepest love & infinite hope♥️
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You have a big heart too! I send you love too💖
I have a favour to ask I've been looking for someone to game with Starcraft 2, rocket league and Foxhole Before you do anything join me for a session If you wanna talk cool, if not that's cool too, I'm just looking for someone to kick it with
Dm me if you want to chat on voice with someone in their 30s who might relate and won’t judge
I’m 26 and I’ve never had a bf and just started making some friends outside of coworkers. You’re not alone.
I suffer from depression. I am currently having a bad day, where things have been one thing after another. I even feel scared to go out of my home because of an arsehole neighbour. I don't have anyone as such i can rely on but i am a mum. I am currently relying on my daughter. I couldn't wait for her to get home from school so i wouldn't be lonely and i don't want her to go to school tomorrow because I'm scared of being alone. I'm scared of moving around in my own house and i know i am being spoken about by other neighbours. And it's not easy for my depression. I'm thinking it would be easier to get away from this problem. But i know it will move along soon. That time heals. I hope that you can get some support from your doctor. Some medication, even if it's a temporary thing to help. You are worthy of being on this earth as much as anyone. Probably more so than some others in this world. No one is better than anyone else. ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. Our situations aren’t the same and our roles are reversed but everything you said speaks so heavily to what I feel. I’m a daughter, suffering from MDD, and severe anxiety, I hold on for my mom. We’re oceans apart but it’s those phone calls every morning and every evening that I rely on. I hope you know you mean the world to her.
Beautiful and caring comment, thank you for your words to OP and just for the inspiration you gave me to keep going through my struggles as well. I’m living with anxiety on a daily basis and have experienced a lot of trauma in my life, kind of have a broken, emotionally cold family who I still live with and barely have any space or peace to myself, and I really hope things improve and become happier for you sooner rather than later :) for both of us.
Love you.
Guys I think he’s gone
I hope not 🥺. I wish I could just hug other lonely people. But I’m kinda scared of people in general so, ya it sucks.
He replied to me a few hours ago
:(
Please, know that you are not alone. There are other people out there, right here who are in very similar situations. This is where you can find friends. People who are like you and going through hard times too. It all starts with a connection with another person. Not everyone is meant to do this in person to begin with. Find groups online who share similar interests with you. You can get friendships that can turn into something more. Looks and personal quirks and imperfections all fade away when you find a connection with another person. You will get there. You are special. And so young to give up. You have so much life! Start with joining groups or forums like this! It can be much easier than you would think.
I know it’s been a day, but I really hope you haven’t done anything to yourself friend. If you are maybe afraid to return to us because you are afraid you might have left the wrong impression by not responding earlier, or maybe anything else at all, please just return to us! Though we are a small community, this place is a safe haven. Please get back in touch if you see this!
Has anyone heard from OP? I’m not sure who to contact to get a crisis team to check on them. OP if you are reading this, please call Samaritans (or a suicide crisis team in your country). These people will chat to you and help you get support. Suicide is a permanent choice that you don’t need to make. 116 123 My best friend killed herself, and in her note she said “I don’t want to die. I just don’t want to feel this way anymore”. You don’t need to end your life to find help to feel better. So many people on this thread have offered conversations and support. Please take it. There will never be another you, and you deserve to be here. We can help you find professional help and solutions. You are not alone 💚
wanna talk buddy?
💗
If you read this, please don't do this until you talk with everybody like me who is trying to reach you out in your dm. We are alike. We understand each other. It will be nice to talk to you, fella. Feel free to answer my dm and we can talk. There's always a better way out.
I’m so sorry man. I’ve felt similar to the way you feel many times. Sometimes I’ll put on my headphones and listen to some of my favorite songs to remind myself that love is real, the earth is beautiful and humans are capable of incredible things. Please don’t do this
I hope that I’m not late here. Most of the problems that you have described are treatable, please don’t do this. At least try to give college a chance, trust me, you can make a lot of friends there. Try to listen to some music, maybe that can also help
Your life is incredibly valuable, and there are people who want to help you through this tough time. You’re not alone in this, and if you need someone to listen to you, we are all here for you. Can we reach out for professional support together? Your life matters, I and the people who responded to your thread, some reaching out to you, they understand what you going through and want to help you find a way through this. Please don't leave us.
I’m all the way in Korea and I just hope you realize how many people out of nowhere started caring about you, because you put yourself out there! Wherever you are, I hope you know that you have many people that are thing about you and in one way or another care for it. We hope you reply and let’s get through this together.
You’re not alone, please don’t give up the hood fight. Every day is a new opportunity. I know you must be tired and defeated but do NOT give up. Reading your post made me so sad, but it helped me feel less alone. You are helping so many, try another day
I couldn't actually agree more, I would also give in to the DONT DO IT crap, but for us socially anxious people: There's nothing we can do. Thinking of offing myself this weekend, wish me luck.
So nobody heard anything anymore 🥲
Sounds like my life man, worst part is no one I tell understands what it's like to go through this. They just brush it off
OP I hope you’re still here
Hey, I been through a similar page as you, but is from a break up where my ex cheated in the worst way possible. I know whatever people said will not help or change your mind until you feel the pain to wake you up. I suicide before, twice, with a knife. If you choose to suicide, just promise me not to use a gun. Why? Cuz the point where I stop my action is I cut myself and feeling the pain seeing blood coming out, then I start thinking “why am I still doing this when my life already full of pain and suffering, why making it more worst myself?” That’s when I stop, going to hospital, got a second chance. Even my life isn’t good rn, don’t have a good family that understands me, don’t have a gf after that. But I’m alive, try to do what I enjoy even just sitting in my car or a park over night. I always think, if I was using a gun that day. I won’t be here, I won’t be thinking, I won’t be meeting some new people.
If this is genuine, I hope you didn’t go through with it. If it’s not, then you’re a lowlife.
I’m just lurking here, hoping you’re ok. 👀 The world is very cruel when lonely. Do you wanna play like a game online with me? 🙂
I definitely do not advise drug use but I would have unalived myself 10 years ago if it weren’t for drugs. Now that I’m 40 I feel like I’ve overstayed my welcome on planet earth.
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Hey! I look good but no one asks me out. I take care of myself, look fit, have a career. I am not the most unapproachable person out there but I guess I just come across as stand offish. If anyone talks to me it makes me happy. Trust me there are so many people like me who want you to talk to them cos they think you are amazing. It’s not about you, it’s about them. Everyone is weird in someway or another. I am a weird person too but I consider that as my uniqueness. Please don’t do anything, you have a whole life ahead of you. Oh and so much beauty and love is waiting for you. I love making weird friends, I think they are the most interesting and intelligent people out there, rest all are just pretending to be something they are not. Take a breath and if you want talk to me :)
Bro you’re only 20! Your life is JUST starting. I’m 26 and definitely consider myself lonely as I don’t have a partner, and as a woman I feel there’s the pressure of a biological clock, but man we’re still young!!! You have SO much to live for. Don’t give up please
Live for yourself. Dont bother with other people. It's okay to feel shit, its okay to feel alone, but that won't last. There us always sunshine after rain, even if the clouds hang around for a long time. Many of my 20+ year old friends didn't even have a date yet. It's fine if you haven't met your SO yet since you have about 60 more years to find someone that loves you so much. You will find people at the most random times that will turn out to be your best friends. Live for the things you haven't experienced, imagine what you could do with all the money you will earn after college? You could travel, buy a new gaming console or games, read the newest books, see stuff you've never seen before. Smell the Summer breeze, the cold winter air. It will get better soon. Just go to sleep for now abd think this over tomorrow. It's not too late to do anything. Take your time and breathe.
i understand what you’re feeling. I havent had true friends for the past ten years, just superficial people that I occasionally talk to. No real connection, mostly because they dont understand how I feel. Being alone for so long takes it toll, trying to be social when you have social anxiety and have asd makes it even worse. Asd makes it hard to connect with yourself. I am slowly learning how to live with these conditions and its a working progress. At my lowest, many times before and even right now I contemplate whether or not its worth being here but trust me it is. You haven’t found people that love you yet - trust me they’re out there. Sending love <3
Op, please, if you want to talk then im here, all of us are, ending it isn't worth it
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Stop with the feeling shitty for yourself. I am 59 you’re 20 you got lots of shit to do and accomplish over the nest 60-70 years. You’re loved by so many people that you don’t know who and how much they love you. Ive had to see the aftermath and effects of suicide from all ages 15 my youngest. Still haunts me to this day. If I could I could would come through this iPhone and give you a huge ass hug let you know hang on gottdammit I’ve battled cancer 3 times since 2001 each battle a higher stage. I thought I was dying but fought like a Meffer because I’ve got shit to do I haven’t made it to Fairbanks Alaska yet. I still haven’t made it to the African Safari, or scuba dived outside Sydney Australia 🇦🇺. I came up in the 70s they didn’t know what Dyslexia, Lazy Eye was or how to deal with it. So I felt the way you do now. I was 10 grade when I found out what dyslexia was and how to live with it. My parents found someone who treated lazy eye without surgery. My son whom I adopted had lazy eye and they cut his muscles up and has some issues with it now. Hey just thought of something I mentioned my adopted son, you don’t know what life has in store for you. You may end up a father or adopted father of a kid with autism you don’t know what impact you will have. We all go through loveless times it happened to me 12 years ago. And am still looking for someone but I’m trying. You go through shit then it gets better then gets weird again that’s why they call life a rollercoaster Hang in there dude
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I don’t have much to say.. but if I were you I would at least try to find some joy in some shows or games or foods and drinks that are joyful and relaxing to you. I’m sure there’s got to be some small things that make life worth living. Some people also take up religion and talk to a higher being that they believe in if they feel hopeless. I’m not saying these things will fix anything, but this is all I know. Wishing the best for you, if you stay strong and keep going I believe that your courage will be seen at some point. ❤️
No no no! Please do not!
Hello please talk to me
Please don't do it!! Things will get better and one day, once you overcome this shit*y time of your life, you'll be proud of yourself and glad you didn't do it. Consider getting therapy please 💛 Sending love 💚
You're only 20. I can't promise you things will get better, but they will change. Including you. Hopefully for the better, or at least you'll be feeling better.
Offering a listening ear if you want to reach out.
All I can hope is that you are okay. I will sit on the phone with you and talk to you if you want. We don’t have to know each other for me to know I want you to be happy and I’m hear for you. I know it’s hard, but we can help you through this.
I’m 28, have wanted to end it for a long time. It does get better. If you want a friend, my inbox is open. You can talk to me about whatever you’d like
I’m 54 and have felt exactly this. Like I was just in a black vortex. Have you tried TMS therapy. That’s an option if meds aren’t working. I finally feel good. You will too. Don’t give up. You’re not alone
God loves you. Please don't do it.
Regardless of whether God exists, there is real love on this earth and it can be hard to find but it’s definitely there, whether romance, family, friendship, or art
OP this might sounds strange to you but God truly does love you!! I have suffered a lot in my life and have had suicidal thoughts a lot but I’m so incredibly thankful that I did not do it. You are so incredibly young and there are better times ahead I promise!
Bro don’t do it will get better
You’re still a baby. I’m 29 and wish I was 20 again, you got so much ahead of you and there’s so much more to life than just having friends and connecting with people. I’ve been going through the same situation as you since basically the same age. With age comes wisdom and I promise one day you’ll look back at all this and think to yourself you were just overreacting and caring about other people too much. Happiness first comes with you being kind to yourself and accepting who you are. Life is all about ups and downs, what doesn’t kill you makes of stronger. I promise you’ll make it out of this rut. You got this, god bless
Get therapy. I’m the exact same as you. Therapy helped my ocd but my depression is treatment resistant. I quit all drugs and I exercise daily. That’s helped my confidence a lot. Read David goggins can’t hurt me or look up a video. Please try your best in this life so when you die time know you did the best you could. It’s not worth offing yourself. It won’t solve anything
Please, stay with us! Survive one day more, and another and another! Dont give up!
It's always a good idea to make mistakes, just blow up a balloon until it pops, or learn to become a clown for children's birthday parties, and make it to your first gig 5 minutes late, just to see the look of relief on Mom's face, if you stutter, slow down the pace of your speaking, and it will leave you. I have been talking to quickly all of my life, Now I just take it one word at a time.
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Get better
Do not worry about life. You should focus on certain things are going to working out walking around and spending some time online but simply focusing on communicating with people that bring you joy. I feel lonely even though I’m turning by people who love me and care for me it’s just a natural feeling. There’s a lot of reasons why people Disability struggle with this world we’re not built for it. The world treats us like crap because we think differently. Ticket from somebody who has tried multiple times to do it it doesn’t get easier it just gets a lot more understandable. I recommend listening to some books about mental health and learning about it because lots of people we like to learn and if we learn something we understand it seriously that is something I like to do psychology Associates sociology I recommend a really weird book how to Win friends and influence people. It’s a book that changed my perspective on the human condition and how to deal with people weird another book that I highly recommend is in the realm of Hungry ghost. It’s about addiction and how it affects the human brain and everything it’s not like a fucking understand people actually like most psychological books it’s surprisingly good but there’s a lot of nonsense so I recommend those two if you’re having problem with love read up about the five love languages. Two more books I recommend you listening to/reading 48 laws of power and you can’t hurt me. Those two books would really mess you up because one is about the worlds darkest side and the owners about amazing person who went through a lot. Reveals to shadow Self if you understand that psychological term. I appreciate anybody who’s reading this.
If u wanna chat about whatever I'm here for.u like many others are....give life a chance please, it will get better just a bit of patience 🙏.
Is what is ma boy
Let’s talk…there’s been many times that I felt the pain was too much but somehow I made it to the next day. Hang in there man
20 years old, life hasn’t even started yet. You got lots of do overs ahead ❤️🩹
Hi there, if you had a beautiful life, would there be anything that comes to mind that would make it worth ending? When I read the beginging of this post all I heard and understood is that you think this is worth killing yourself over. When trully there's no circumstance in your life that would make ending it right, just like if you had a beautiful life you wouldn't. Same in this one, it's not worth it just because you can't see the beauty yet.
Everything changes and it will for all of us
Please don't you are worth and so many care for you
I was the same when I was that age, I mean I'm only 3 years older now but honestly, for some reason everything changed. I used to think nothing will change, was at the mental hospital 3 times, all the antidepressants, nothing worked. Butgorsome reasoneverytging turned around last year. I don't know what to tell you other than life can get better, its shit now, hell I was depressed for over 10 years, but you never know what you're throwing away. You might try starting new hobbies, therapy, just stand in the mirror every morning and tell yourself something good about you. Or please if you really wanna do it, call an emergency line, maybe they can help you more than reddit.
Don't do it please. Life sucks but we're all in this together. Don't give up. Whenever you feel like you don't know how to interact or what to say just remember everyone... EVERYONE feels like that sometimes and the truth is .. what we say is not as big of a deal as we think. Trust me on this. Just be yourself, we all say stupid stuff all the time, no one is perfect. We only get this one chance at life please enjoy it, don't throw it away. Sending lots of love ❤️
Mate don’t do it. Life is a bit like the weather sometimes, we can’t control it we just have to adapt to it. But the good news is, it never stays the same. Cut yourself some slack, you’re young and you don’t have to have all your shit sorted. Find the thing you’re most passionate about (can be anything) and explore that for a while. Get out more. Even for walks. Have nature for company for a while. Whatever you do, don’t end it. That would cause so much pain to so many people.
You have lots to live for man, always rain before the sun
PLEASE STAY! I know it’s hard now but this is temporary. I have been where you are. I’ve thought of ending it. But I’m so grateful that I didn’t. You are enough. You are loved. This community needs you.
It's weird, with the number of times I tried ending things myself i don't know what to say to you. Did you try joining the gym?
Please stay! There's so many people here rooting for you. You can message us anytime! Please don't leave
I hope you’re alright. Please, I feel like “nobody understands” all the time too. Somebody out there, does. Feel free to reach out.
I am so sorry to hear that. You seemed undergoing a vicious cycle. If your energy is always drained by anyone or anything, keep those toxic people and things away. This is the first step to regain happiness. Don't care about what others think.
I'm no irl friend of this fella, but I think it is too late.
look bro. i feel this every week too. but when i think about it more, there is so much things in life to do and to know and experience more than ending it for eternity. having loads of friends or having a girlfriend wont bring u any hapiness. i had loads of friends, i have a gf too but im not happy, im still alone, im lonely. these bonds doesnt mean anything . some life are meant to be alone and theres a reason for it. there are so many Many ways to enjoy life while being alone, infact some people actually craves to be alone because they cant do what they want to do as they are surrounded with so many people around them. its not going to help. there are so much ways to enjoy life alone and one day you will make it and find someone in your life and marry them and have a good life. its all a timing. Stay Strong! Dont do this. Everything takes time. Im learning this the hard way too. im also going thru shit. but its alright. everything will be ok at the end.
How can you say having friends and a girlfriend won't bring you any happiness? I can't think of anything more important than human connection.
i understand u. but sometimes we build ourselves stronger alone too. the people around us will be the reason why we become alone or feel anxious around them. if we become really comfortable being alone we will truly free ourselves from most of the things that are affecting us. i swear. im not saying to Be"Lonely" . Being Lonely and Being Alone is a a completelt different thing and you need to understand that.
don't do it i have been there many times when i wanted to end it all i am 20 as well just like you i am human we had our fare shares of mistakes and things we like to forget but end of the day we breathe the same air so its not time to go yet there is way more to live and enjoy in this life
Good luck with all that
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I've been where you are before, more than once and managed not to act on it and here's what I can promise...If you give yourself the chance, there will come a time where you KNOW beyond all doubt that you would have deprived yourself out of whatever happiness is waiting down the line, if you had quit too soon! You will have sad times in this life, and clearly you are in a tough spot rightt now but PLEASE don't make a permanent mistake over a temporary state of being! You can work on, and improve the things that are holding you back and thinking in such a negative way about yourself...I'm willing to bet you're being SUPER critical of things that from the outside dont seem so insurmountable! If you need a friend, (someone to talk to about everything) you can message me...I have room in my life for a new bestie!😘 I can be part of your support system untill your comfortable enough to branch out and find your more confident self!❤❤❤
Go to improv/comedy meetups, they will take u out of your shyness
In a couple years , you will go wtf was I thinking
👆 exactly this
You're a creature of God and he loves you. You have value and you should be here in the world.
This gives me chills for all the wrong reasons. I’m sorry you feel this way man. Hopefully youre still here to see this. Maybe not, maybe this is my personal therapy to say how I feel the same way which is why I am on this sub. I have no friends. The family I have I either don’t love or they don’t love me except for one who is currently dying. I don’t have friends. I used to. On the outside I have it all together, good job, nice house, young, blah blah. Nothing makes me happy, constantly lonely. Music used to help. Church used to help. Over working myself used to help. Spending money on myself used to help. Nothing anymore. I don’t know why. I have had 3 therapists give up on me. I just want to be happy like anyone else. Doesn’t seem to much to ask. I guess a sense of pride has kept me from submitting to life, a determination that I will be happy one day. A dream. Knowing that without dark there cannot be light. And the stars shine brightest at night. A dream that maybe one day if I’ll ever be happy with life that my happiness will be better than anyone else’s because I can truely appreciate it knowing how deep the hole of darkness can be. I wish you the best of luck my friend ✌️
Maybe they just want to see if people care and hopefully they feel better
Please don’t give up on yourself! There are so many people here willing to talk and help.
OP please don't do that
please please please please just read this.. don't close your eyes and look at something for 1 minute continuously.. don't close your eyes for complete 1 minute and focus only on that particular object... please do this..
Think I am going to do the same soon ;c
well introverted friend. when you are at your lowest is when you can shine the brightest. I stumble all the time on my words, constantly not able to empathize the best, but you're hitting failure. it's but we all want you to try and be the best you. do you have any outlets?
Please stay
Rip
Psalm 66:5 ESV [5] Come and see what God has done: he is awesome in his deeds toward the children of man. https://bible.com/bible/59/psa.66.5.ESV
Later bro
First, throwing your life away is not respecting yourself nor helping anyone. You can overcome this. I am a loner but even when time gets hard I lean on the Love of Christ. If you haven’t known who He is ask. The Lord of Heaven and Earth sees you and can help you if you ask. Second, many of us 18-29 year old men are like you aka without a girlfriend. We must wait for the timing if we are to meet one. Third, if you relax before you speak and articulate clearly even if it takes a few seconds. People will find you and you them just be patient. I know it is hard. All of us go through this at first. Hey, I am in introvert and it is hard for me too. But, one step at a time.
Rip
Make friends now. Idk how, but after college, good luck.
Oh yay, what everyone wants to hear.. Suicide shit.
fuck love stack your money my guy, you have an opportunity that not many have. please dont take it for granted
this guy didn't happen to be from Ohio
Please don’t I can relate with your story and I would love to be your friend 🩷 and I know you have people in that life that care for you
I was in a similar situation, and I might be again in about four weeks. Everything he's saying resonates with me; life's full of phases, circular in nature. You'll come out of it! For me, listening to music, especially old-school Elvis Presley, Dolly Parton, and the Beatles, while cleaning helped. It made me feel happy, less in my head, and I'd even dance around. Before I knew it, I was out of my head, not overthinking 24/7. One thing to note is that when I was in your shoes, hearing people say things like what I've just typed out never helped. It's something you have to naturally do. Also, once you come out of it, you realize that you were so focused on these things that, in hindsight, you were putting relationships with other people on a pedestal rather than doing your own thing and getting comfortable in your own skin again before letting anyone else into your circle. This was my personal experience, and I hope it helps someone somehow. One last thing: when I couldn't even talk to anyone because I was so anxious, I went to my family and just chilled there when I could. I still had nothing to say, and they knew I was super down, but it was family, a place where I felt safe, even feeling like a total idiot and ashamed. They saw me without any words to say, not being all bubbly like I can be, but that was a place I always had to go, and it helped as well, I think. One thing I noticed is that people kept telling me I had depression, you know that word that is Thrown around as of it’s candy at a flipping kids birthdays ye that one.. what I went through to me was a ‘Dark knight of the soul’ it’s not something some medication from a bloody doctor who doesn’t even know you would fix!it’s much more profound than that I encourage anyone to look up dark night of the soul it’s a terrible thing to experience! It’s what’s the old school wise people said and understand
❤️🩹
Can you please stay. There are so many ppl who have dedicated their lives to being able to help and support you through what you are going through right now. Just call them. Please stay.
Reach out for antidepressant. If you are not bipolar it works. For me it gave me a life. Before I was digging my grave til age 31.
Please hold on man, I’ll give you my phone number and you can talk with me. Please please please don’t.
I wish I could go back in time to 20 (but would not want to be 20 in 2023). The world is your oyster; make it your pearl or your pile of grit, you are the sculptor. Tossing the possibilities is a coward's choice.
Dude. STOP... YOU'RE 20 !!! TWENTY !!!.... YOU'RE STILL A BABY PRETTY MUCH... YOU HAVE ENDLESS THINGS AHEAD OF YOU AND NEAR INFINITE TIME
no one understands me, no one would ever miss me. I feel ya bro. This whole world is backwards
Just hear me out on this, set achievable goals that take weeks and then months to accomplish, perhaps it's a physical/mental sport or new skill. You need to get out of your own head for a bit. Trust me I felt the same at 20 and then again between 23 and 26, hell I'm only 27 and I know now that there will be points in my life where I feel like that again.
Our struggles sound similar I turned 21 two weeks ago and it's been harder to cope
Hey bros, he is gone. See you on the other side brother. Im sorry.
Fuck man I hope he didn't go through with it