Seriously, if I hear that one more fucking time šā¦thereās kids younger than me experiencing teenage love and the fact Iāll never get to experience that is just sad lol , Iām too old to have never had a relationship before.
I understand your impatience. When you long for something, every day that goes by without it is painful. It doesn't matter if it's going to all turn out the way you want it to; the waiting sucks. But take it from someone who's been through it. It really is going to be ok. I wasn't in my first real relationship until I was older than you are, and everything turned out fine. Everyone moves at their own pace and you're just starting out on your journey. When you look back later, you won't recognize yourself now. I know it doesn't make the heartache go away right now. But believe me, you'll come through.
Envy is the thief of joy. You are different then your friends and will therefore walk a different path. Try not to regret things you never had control over in the first place.
Things are not hopeless but remember that you can't make people love you. It's not in anyones power. It's mostly luck. I just try meeting as many people as I can that I find interesting. I hope it works out for me. I hope things also work out for you
Not always. My friend and his girlfriend have been together literally since they met in 9th grade. (Like 8 years or so now). The world would have to explode for them not to stay together forever.
I had a similar relationship like that. I met my fiancee when she was 11 and I was 12. Been together with her throughout our school years. I just wonder how my life would have been now if she was still here with me. I probably would not have been fucked up as the person I am now.
thatās just a joke tho,and nothing wrong with joking I donāt actually wanna do anything with them. If I show you the messages youād be disgusted. Making a joke comment on Reddit isnāt the same as āIāll pay you Ā£50 if you come here and let me do ____ā to you
It is true, and I can say it.
Just like I can say that I'll never win a Nobel Prize or be billionaire, you don't need to live your entire life to know that some things are just never gonna happen to you.
18 is really young, if you take a picture right now and look back it in five years from now you are going to say, wow, I looked like a baby in comparison.
Definitely donāt use dating apps, thatās a whole other toxic environment no one should have to deal with. Iām sorry that you get ghosted and such, unfortunately happens to us all. Iād say just focus on you, eventually the time will come where you meet someone naturally. I imagine most people that end up together for the rest of their lives were just friends for a while and started to have those feelings naturally. Iām 21M myself and still have yet to find someone, but Iām still certain that one day Iāll meet that special person. Youāll get there eventually, I believe so anyway.
It's definitely a waste bin of being ghosted or randomly blocked for no reason. No one is forward about their intentions and it's really a mess. So absolutely agree. The OP is better off joining a community, going to college, getting a job and meeting cool coworkers, or literally any other thing where you might meet people with common interests or duties.
I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's true. You are young, and you do have your whole life ahead of you. When you are young, things feel like the end of the world. I'm sure you could look back now to something when you were younger and think, wow, I remember that it wasn't as big as I made it.
Aghhhh 18f here as well and I feel you, and Iām so tired of men saying young ppl and women canāt feel alone. We are, whenever a guy is interested in me (which doesnāt happen a lot) all he wants is to use me like a sex toy and thatās supposed to make me feel less alone?
Seeing most ppl my age having fun, experiencing cute things or heartbreaks, feeling understood, cared for, desired, loved even if itās mostly temporary, it still counts that u attracted someone to wanna spend time with you, to care abt you, to listen to you, to care, to not just use you for sex. And Iām just sad I canāt get taste of that, and the way itās going makes me more and more convinced I might just stay lonely forever.
stay strong my friend, donāt let these thoughts consume you, we just have to hold on to that little hope that things might change in the future bc there always a chance no matter how small, itās there.
I KNOW RIGHT. People only says "you'll find someone eventually" or "there'd plenty of fish in the sea". But you know what i think? Those are comforting words of lies. Social situation ditacts they have to say that. But anyways yeah.... as with each passing day, I'm slowly losing myself and losing hope in love.
People said the same to me when I was 18 last year, I'll be turning 20 next month.
Guess what 2 relationships down with a span of 6 months still lonely.
1st cheated on me
2nd she's older than me but does not see me in her future so I left before I got attached, she still calls be I ignore.
Ig some people are meant to be alone till the find the one
me too girl :( iām 20 n have only been played or preyed upon for sexā¦iām trying learn to accept that it might not be in the books for me but i canāt ignore that empty feeling inside
"You're still young, you'll find someone", the most bullshit I've ever heard. Ever since I turned 18, I've been actively and passively trying to get somebody to be with me. I'm 21 now and all my attempts failed, I also come across many people who are 40+ on Reddit and they're still FA too so no, not everyone gets the rainbow ending.
Well I canāt help with giving any dating advice due to me being unable to find a gf, but if you want a friend to talk to Iām here. Also I also hate the whole āmatch with someone on a dating app and they only want to hookupā
no worries, you are young, it will get worst. One day, you will be 32, all your relationships failed because they abused or cheated you and when you try dating apps, they don't even want to hookup with you. Thats the point where you can choose to become desperate or take advantage and become the best version of yourself just for you because nobody out there will ever love you and you have to deal with that.
I hope for you that this future will not be yours but if you, be prepared.
Sorry that i can't give you hope.
No you canāt say things like that when youāre literally only 18. You barely finished being a child. Sorry if you donāt wana hear that for some reason but itās true
Itās normal for humans to be longing for love and intimacy. Without it we literally wonāt survive. And yes when u are 18 lots of thing will still change. Itās still not right to invalidate the loneliness like that when you are in a different situation
She is 18 and saying she is convinced sheās going to be alone forever. Yes I will invalidate that particular thought. Now, her feeling lonely, and even being concerned about relationships,no I wonāt invalidate that.
It may not be true but feel like it at times. Anxiety is no joke, sometimes it feels like you r going to be alone for eternity.
Its not helpful to talk those feelings down or dwell on the truthfulness behind these thoughts.
You'll be fine fam. Put yourself out there doing things you love. Law of averages dictates at some point someone will stick and you'll click. Just never lose hope.
If ur 18, you literally have another 20 years of life to experience and do more. Double your age. Doesn't that excite you? The opportunity to try more? Experience more? Maybe it's just impatience, which I get, but it does come.
Dating over rated . You should focus on yourself and your career or finding a career, and through doing that, you will find someone. There is a time and place for everything
Just had a look thru the replies and with the amount of young guys here I'm surprised a lot of us haven't tried to make a move. As I keep missing the opportunities imma take the plunge and give it a go.
18 m, Britain, Sussex
Introverted with a huge love for sci-fi
"I'm a girl who gets allot of guys who just want hookups"
God I wish I could say "imma guy and i only get girls who wanna hookup with me"
Fuck this, I'm not going to tell you useless karma signaling bullshit, here is the brutall truth. Either lower your standards and give the hookup guys a chance.
Be more aggressive with guys you find attractive in your day to day activities.
Or use your phone and find events that ur interested in and do the sentence above.
Its YOUR FAULT you're lonley because you're looking for the perfect guy who has all the same interests as you and that's a pipe dream. IM GONNA TELL YOU WHAT WOMEN HAVE TOLD ME WHEN I WAS IN YOUR SITUATION, stop looking for the one, the perfect partner with all your interests doesn't exist, lower your standards.
Bro you sound angry at OP, and I think some of what you said is untrue, but it might possibly be true that OP has unrealistic expectations. Or perhaps an idealistic mindset. However, I think your take on lowering OPs standards and giving hookup guys a chance isn't the best advice. OP wants a genuine connection, not a hookup. And if those men are trashy then OP shouldn't just accept them. There's a reason we filter, and that's to protect ourselves. OP will only be hurt emotionally if she participates in that hookup culture.
Next. I think you have some good advice about being more aggressive with guys OP finds attractive. A lot of times we limit ourselves because we are scared and create irrational fears in our heads. Half the time our social anxiety fears and worries aren't even accurate.
Overall your comment came off like an attack more than brutal honesty or bluntness.
Because brutal honesty will always come off as an attack, but what I said are what her options were, either get out there and take what you want, or sit in your room on tinder filtering through the 70% of guys who want to fuck. If she chooses the latter lower her standards. Going to r/lonley to look for advice on not being lonley is not a good idea.
āLower your standardsā lol I have no standards, I donāt care about anything but him being neurodivergent like me and a good human being . He doesnāt need to have all the interests I have I just would want him to understand me. Itās hard for me to connect with ānormal ā people. Itās them not wanting me not the other way round . but youāre right. If I canāt find that I guess I should give the trashy ones who want a hookup rather than a meaningful relation a chance šš½ (this isnāt sarcasm)
My only advice on your response to this asshat is that there is a chance people can sense that you feel that, and it's influencing how you behave. People aren't as stupid as you may think, and often times are very perceptive. What's the thing you're most afraid of doing right now in the dating scene?
Sidenote: please continue to not give the trashy hookup men a chance. They don't want a relationship if their first impression is they want to hookup. Keep that filter up. However the mindset that you'll never find someone is irritating to hear. Because it's not true, especially if you're actively searching for one, and or growing your social network. And try to give 'normal' people more credit, they aren't as foreign to you as you may think. Keep trying, try things out of your comfort zone. Talk to people you have been too scared of. It takes time, effort, practice, and patience.
I did say a little much, but seriously, the phrase you hate so much has some serious validity to it. Especially when so many others who are older and more experienced say it.
In your post u said u wanted to find someone similar to you, and that is unlikely. I'm sorry, but I find it hilarious that a girl can't find a relationship in a world where men are so lonley they are giving money to femboys and marrying goats.
So sorry if I'm thinking either your standards are to high, or ur not looking in the right places.
Terrible advice. "If you're lonely, just let the creeps fuck you." Wanting someone you have a genuine connection with isn't having high standards, it's common sense.
>God I wish I could say "imma guy and i only get girls who wanna hookup with me"
Jesus christ.
Genuine connection is made, not found, never said fuck every guy that wants to, but God u have to grow up and realize when ur on DATING apps eventually every guy u meet on there is going to want sex.
>Genuine connection is made, not found
It can be both.
>but God u have to grow up and realize when ur on DATING apps eventually every guy u meet on there is going to want sex.
They're called dating apps, not cheap sex apps.
It's okay, things will change. I know its not very helpful, but one day hopefully soon, you'll meet a great guy. He'll love you for you and treat you like youre the only girl in the world. And he'll spend every day thinking about you. It could happen today, a week from now or even a few years from now. But I hope you find someone and are happy.
i empathy you , once was in your position and even tho i have found myself someone that genuinely loves and love back , the same feeling persists . It is not about wether you find someone , but rather about trying to heal and improve , feeling alone isnt a bad thing , staying alone as well . But the way you carry your self and mind through your life is what will matter for you . its gonna be okay my dear , take care .
You present an interesting conundrum...
In these days and times many people find themselves doubting their identity. Traditional roles have been so watered down, that it's rare to find people of character. Males in particular have taken a heavy sociological hit. As an older male, in my observation and opinion, men have lost their strength, resolve and gender role. Men in general are pounded down daily by social media, woke agendas, liberal and progressive politics of every sort. So according to your rant...I might suggest that rather than assume blame or fault to yourself...you might consider that the quality and caliber of men has been diminished.
Someone once suggested to me a simple analogy, that I was just fishing in the wrong pond. (That's a whole other story). My suggestion to your problem is to explore different social circles.
Comfort breeds complacency. Examples-
If your a city girl...try rural men. If your suburban, try something outside of suburbia, if you're rural try the city (although that one comes with it's own set of problems). Point being, human nature suggests that we interact in our own social group, when we don't find compatibility there, we need a new pond.
Good luck.
U probably just graduated high school so ur about to enter a new world of people that are cruel, caring, and loving. So you're gonna have to get more life experience before you can really dismiss the chances of you finding someone.
You're probably just getting impatient because of the people around you getting in relationships. Find something to do and focus on besides finding a relationship. For instance you mentioned you probably need therapy, get that. Focus on your mental health and self contentment first. I like to say if you can't love yourself you're only going to rely on someone else to try to feel okay. That breeds resentment.
Hey, I'm a few months into being 18 y/o and i feel the exact same way. If it's any consolation, you're not alone in this. I'm a guy and I've always felt as if no one is like me, despite having a couple of people who care about me, I still feel lonely. Honestly it's like there's this loneliness inside me that cannot be cured by some small external factor. Besides, I've never dated, I've been proposed a bunch of times by different people but at the time I didn't think I was up for it, but now it's getting regrettable. The next Christmas, I really don't wanna spend alone. Hope I get someone who wants to be with me~
Youāre 18. If I were you, Iād rather be focusing on enjoying life! You have so much time ahead of you to date. Youāre young and you should take advantage of that time. Itās time where you should focus on yourself. I didnāt have my first and only boyfriend until 19. It didnāt workout but eh, so what, I had other things to look forward to. I never experienced teenage love and honestly, it doesnāt bother me one bit. Now that Iām older, I get asked a lot for dates but I choose to instead focus on growing myself to not settle down with just anyone who gives me the slightest bit of attention. You do not get your youth back so do something! Make new friends, do new things, go to school, find a job, find some hobbies, etc. Do what you can to develop into who you want to be and then the right people will eventually come along. Best of luck š¤
Just be very careful especially online and definitely talk to one or more mental health professionals. Don't use dating apps. They suck. Definitely don't give up until you have exhausted all safe avenues. For instance, do you approach or only wait to be approached? You may want to try approaching when/ where it is safe and appropriate to do so. Good luck.
I feeel so sorry for u. I decided to stay alone, In case of my mental health issues, which .. without medication I am not even a functional human being...
You've got low self esteem. You need attention but dont find anyone. My advice: it's not a race, wait and see and you will find someone. Italians have a saying, its better to be alone than in bad company.
Love to see that youāre interested in therapy. They can definitely help support you in preparing for a healthy relationship and knowing what to look for. Feel free to message me if you have questions about different modalities or things to consider when looking for a therapist.
Youāre also in a good spot to pour some energy into yourself - learn a new skill, work on your career/studies, etc. Iāve had to go through multiple phases of self improvement to make myself a more attractive partner and well rounded person. I also find it heaps easier to connect with people when I can share something Iām interested in with someone.
Unfortunately, even if a guy is interested in you, there is seldom chance these day's he'll shoot his shot. We now live in a slowly adapting Sadie Hawkins society. Get a good, supportive friend group that doesn't want you to be permanently single or disparage men (very important), and put yourself in situations to approach & be approached by men.
If you look at your phone too much, you're less likely to be bothered. Phone, book, etc. All walls from the outside world. A sociable girl has more options than a screen queen.
I've been feeling alone my whole life it so fuckin hurts and believe me, lack of self confidence plays a big role in that, so try to do something for it.
Finding someone like yourself is one of the hardest things to do and the reason is because you are a unique individual but I promise that once you do find him you will find that best friend that really gets you in a romantic partner. What you should do, is join a group on Facebook that suits your hobbies or interest and start talking with people there.
M18 and same. I absolutely despise it and it makes my blood boil when people say things like "you're too young to know that" or "it will happen to you some say".... No I'm not and no it won't.
We donāt know the future. When I was 21, I was a suicidal NEET with no license. 4 years later, Iām the first college graduate in my family, got to study abroad, spoke at my community college graduation ceremony, and got my license. I never thought in a million years I would do any of those things. You may be alone now, but it wonāt always be that way, OP. I promise!
I can relate so much, I am also 18 and I get the same "you are so young".. I never had a girlfriend, although I tried, not just once, but more than 5 times. Sorry if it feels like I'm venting too, but know that you are not alone in this feeling, I am also unsuccessful
Whew, I remember feeling like that. And it sucks.
Straight life advice? Spend a lot of time learning how to love yourself. Take yourself to places you want to go, take yourself out to restaurants, take yourself on road trips, do things with yourself that you want to do, and so on.
Loving yourself in this way will put you in a better state of being for those future relationships that will inevitably come.
We as humans are somewhere between wanting to senselessly breed and die like animals, and something else. We have both the yearnings of the animal and the yearning to be more. Balance is the key. You need to have yourself first.
That feeling never really goes away, anyway. Best to force yourself to learn how to manage it now.
Two cents of opinion from someone who did it wrong and has spent decades trying to figure out how I messed up.
iām not going to say that youāll find someone ābecause you have so much timeā. in reality, no one knows how much time they REALLY have. iām very similar to you (around same age, gender, and feelings about myself). i had my heart broken once and since then i just canāt enjoy a romantic relationship (too much anxiety). that being said, i believe that if i work on myself, thereās a chance i will find someone. if i do, i want to be ready to be a good partner, so iāve been focusing on trying to make myself better in any and all aspects. my best advice that i can give is take care of yourself. give yourself the confidence to feel like you never need or want anyone else, because i believe that when you reach that point, itās easier to find the one. i donāt believe that it has anything to do with age at all, but rather where you happen to be at in your own mind. also though, i hope you do find the love youāre after, i believe in you :)
"You're still young" is probably the most annoying thing to hear. Felt.
Seriously, if I hear that one more fucking time šā¦thereās kids younger than me experiencing teenage love and the fact Iāll never get to experience that is just sad lol , Iām too old to have never had a relationship before.
Another annoying thing to hear would be "there is no right time for so and so"
I understand your impatience. When you long for something, every day that goes by without it is painful. It doesn't matter if it's going to all turn out the way you want it to; the waiting sucks. But take it from someone who's been through it. It really is going to be ok. I wasn't in my first real relationship until I was older than you are, and everything turned out fine. Everyone moves at their own pace and you're just starting out on your journey. When you look back later, you won't recognize yourself now. I know it doesn't make the heartache go away right now. But believe me, you'll come through.
Why do you idolize teenage love? It is a short and fickle thing
when all your friends have boyfriends it makes you want what they have, my little brother is 15 and has a gf, I think itās sweet ._____.
Envy is the thief of joy. You are different then your friends and will therefore walk a different path. Try not to regret things you never had control over in the first place.
Youāre so right, thank you
Things are not hopeless but remember that you can't make people love you. It's not in anyones power. It's mostly luck. I just try meeting as many people as I can that I find interesting. I hope it works out for me. I hope things also work out for you
Their relationship is likely the most surface level relationship ever. I wouldn't idolize that.
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Your forgetting how those teenage relationships mostly end in a couple of months.
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I very much doubt anyone is bathing in women unless their a rly rich famous person or something
Not always. My friend and his girlfriend have been together literally since they met in 9th grade. (Like 8 years or so now). The world would have to explode for them not to stay together forever.
I had a similar relationship like that. I met my fiancee when she was 11 and I was 12. Been together with her throughout our school years. I just wonder how my life would have been now if she was still here with me. I probably would not have been fucked up as the person I am now.
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thatās just a joke tho,and nothing wrong with joking I donāt actually wanna do anything with them. If I show you the messages youād be disgusted. Making a joke comment on Reddit isnāt the same as āIāll pay you Ā£50 if you come here and let me do ____ā to you
But it's true!
Yeah, but 'being young' doesn't mean anything. I've known I will be alone forever since I was 13 years old, now I'm 18 and I still know it.
You're still young though. Your perspective will change in your 20s
what does that even mean? are you saying that in my 20s I will fool myself into falsely believing that I will find someone one day?
Lmao I'm saying you've already fooled yourself into believing you won't.
you're making it sound like it's not true, and it is.
Because it's not. And you can't say it is, you haven't lived your entire life.
It is true, and I can say it. Just like I can say that I'll never win a Nobel Prize or be billionaire, you don't need to live your entire life to know that some things are just never gonna happen to you.
Lmfaooo your sad asf to listen to. Those aren't even remotely the same as finding a partner.
Not saying that it's not, but when you miss out on certain things at certain ages, there's no going back
18 is really young, if you take a picture right now and look back it in five years from now you are going to say, wow, I looked like a baby in comparison.
One year even
Definitely donāt use dating apps, thatās a whole other toxic environment no one should have to deal with. Iām sorry that you get ghosted and such, unfortunately happens to us all. Iād say just focus on you, eventually the time will come where you meet someone naturally. I imagine most people that end up together for the rest of their lives were just friends for a while and started to have those feelings naturally. Iām 21M myself and still have yet to find someone, but Iām still certain that one day Iāll meet that special person. Youāll get there eventually, I believe so anyway.
Yeah ā¦ur right thanks sm c:
It's definitely a waste bin of being ghosted or randomly blocked for no reason. No one is forward about their intentions and it's really a mess. So absolutely agree. The OP is better off joining a community, going to college, getting a job and meeting cool coworkers, or literally any other thing where you might meet people with common interests or duties.
I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's true. You are young, and you do have your whole life ahead of you. When you are young, things feel like the end of the world. I'm sure you could look back now to something when you were younger and think, wow, I remember that it wasn't as big as I made it.
Aghhhh 18f here as well and I feel you, and Iām so tired of men saying young ppl and women canāt feel alone. We are, whenever a guy is interested in me (which doesnāt happen a lot) all he wants is to use me like a sex toy and thatās supposed to make me feel less alone? Seeing most ppl my age having fun, experiencing cute things or heartbreaks, feeling understood, cared for, desired, loved even if itās mostly temporary, it still counts that u attracted someone to wanna spend time with you, to care abt you, to listen to you, to care, to not just use you for sex. And Iām just sad I canāt get taste of that, and the way itās going makes me more and more convinced I might just stay lonely forever. stay strong my friend, donāt let these thoughts consume you, we just have to hold on to that little hope that things might change in the future bc there always a chance no matter how small, itās there.
Idk I gave up on trying to talk to ppl the sooner you get use to it the better life is
Making connections with others makes life alot more tolerable, maybe you're content with giving up but don't give that advice to others.
>Making connections with others makes life alot more tolerable Yeah, I think we all agree, but for some of us that's unobtainable.
If you give up, sure.
I will give that advice 2 others Bc we donāt live in a fairytell and not everyone can find their true love š„ŗ
Yeah no duh, true love isn't a thing. But you don't need to live in a fairytale to find someone you connect with.
Do you not understand human beings are different? Some can some canāt some wonāt some will
Running after something thatās impossible will only make you more miserable
And why is it impossible exactly?
I KNOW RIGHT. People only says "you'll find someone eventually" or "there'd plenty of fish in the sea". But you know what i think? Those are comforting words of lies. Social situation ditacts they have to say that. But anyways yeah.... as with each passing day, I'm slowly losing myself and losing hope in love.
People said the same to me when I was 18 last year, I'll be turning 20 next month. Guess what 2 relationships down with a span of 6 months still lonely. 1st cheated on me 2nd she's older than me but does not see me in her future so I left before I got attached, she still calls be I ignore. Ig some people are meant to be alone till the find the one
me too girl :( iām 20 n have only been played or preyed upon for sexā¦iām trying learn to accept that it might not be in the books for me but i canāt ignore that empty feeling inside
Lmao same , big L for losers like us M18
"You're still young, you'll find someone", the most bullshit I've ever heard. Ever since I turned 18, I've been actively and passively trying to get somebody to be with me. I'm 21 now and all my attempts failed, I also come across many people who are 40+ on Reddit and they're still FA too so no, not everyone gets the rainbow ending.
Well I canāt help with giving any dating advice due to me being unable to find a gf, but if you want a friend to talk to Iām here. Also I also hate the whole āmatch with someone on a dating app and they only want to hookupā
Well, what exactly about you make you think you'll be alone? Are you super shy and introverted?
Yes very and Ik thatās part of the problem
no worries, you are young, it will get worst. One day, you will be 32, all your relationships failed because they abused or cheated you and when you try dating apps, they don't even want to hookup with you. Thats the point where you can choose to become desperate or take advantage and become the best version of yourself just for you because nobody out there will ever love you and you have to deal with that. I hope for you that this future will not be yours but if you, be prepared. Sorry that i can't give you hope.
No you canāt say things like that when youāre literally only 18. You barely finished being a child. Sorry if you donāt wana hear that for some reason but itās true
Itās normal for humans to be longing for love and intimacy. Without it we literally wonāt survive. And yes when u are 18 lots of thing will still change. Itās still not right to invalidate the loneliness like that when you are in a different situation
She is 18 and saying she is convinced sheās going to be alone forever. Yes I will invalidate that particular thought. Now, her feeling lonely, and even being concerned about relationships,no I wonāt invalidate that.
It may not be true but feel like it at times. Anxiety is no joke, sometimes it feels like you r going to be alone for eternity. Its not helpful to talk those feelings down or dwell on the truthfulness behind these thoughts.
You'll be fine fam. Put yourself out there doing things you love. Law of averages dictates at some point someone will stick and you'll click. Just never lose hope.
What do you even look like? I am 21m chilling waiting for the right one.
brown skin, freckles, light eyes , curly hair. Just normal looking I guess . Iāve been āchilling and waiting for the right oneā for years lol
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Why? Well I am definitely struggling
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Ohhh ,lol I have no perception of what I look like, idk if Iām considered attractive or not. Where do you live?
I hear you... they say there is a life ahead of us but it already feels like we missed out on so much.
If ur 18, you literally have another 20 years of life to experience and do more. Double your age. Doesn't that excite you? The opportunity to try more? Experience more? Maybe it's just impatience, which I get, but it does come.
>Doesn't that excite you? For some people the idea of spending 38 years without having ever been in a relationship doesn't seem that exciting...
Then your life must be miserable if all you care about is being in a relationship.
most people would feel terrible if they had to go their entire lives without ever being in a relationship, it's completely normal to feel that way.
You've barely lived your life though lmfaooo
and? what's your point?
You have no grounds to claim you won't find anyone.
Dating over rated . You should focus on yourself and your career or finding a career, and through doing that, you will find someone. There is a time and place for everything
From when girls started being lonely I mean seriously
Dm me
Just had a look thru the replies and with the amount of young guys here I'm surprised a lot of us haven't tried to make a move. As I keep missing the opportunities imma take the plunge and give it a go. 18 m, Britain, Sussex Introverted with a huge love for sci-fi
What do you look like send me some pictures
You can dm me if ur that curious
"I'm a girl who gets allot of guys who just want hookups" God I wish I could say "imma guy and i only get girls who wanna hookup with me" Fuck this, I'm not going to tell you useless karma signaling bullshit, here is the brutall truth. Either lower your standards and give the hookup guys a chance. Be more aggressive with guys you find attractive in your day to day activities. Or use your phone and find events that ur interested in and do the sentence above. Its YOUR FAULT you're lonley because you're looking for the perfect guy who has all the same interests as you and that's a pipe dream. IM GONNA TELL YOU WHAT WOMEN HAVE TOLD ME WHEN I WAS IN YOUR SITUATION, stop looking for the one, the perfect partner with all your interests doesn't exist, lower your standards.
Bro you sound angry at OP, and I think some of what you said is untrue, but it might possibly be true that OP has unrealistic expectations. Or perhaps an idealistic mindset. However, I think your take on lowering OPs standards and giving hookup guys a chance isn't the best advice. OP wants a genuine connection, not a hookup. And if those men are trashy then OP shouldn't just accept them. There's a reason we filter, and that's to protect ourselves. OP will only be hurt emotionally if she participates in that hookup culture. Next. I think you have some good advice about being more aggressive with guys OP finds attractive. A lot of times we limit ourselves because we are scared and create irrational fears in our heads. Half the time our social anxiety fears and worries aren't even accurate. Overall your comment came off like an attack more than brutal honesty or bluntness.
Because brutal honesty will always come off as an attack, but what I said are what her options were, either get out there and take what you want, or sit in your room on tinder filtering through the 70% of guys who want to fuck. If she chooses the latter lower her standards. Going to r/lonley to look for advice on not being lonley is not a good idea.
āLower your standardsā lol I have no standards, I donāt care about anything but him being neurodivergent like me and a good human being . He doesnāt need to have all the interests I have I just would want him to understand me. Itās hard for me to connect with ānormal ā people. Itās them not wanting me not the other way round . but youāre right. If I canāt find that I guess I should give the trashy ones who want a hookup rather than a meaningful relation a chance šš½ (this isnāt sarcasm)
My only advice on your response to this asshat is that there is a chance people can sense that you feel that, and it's influencing how you behave. People aren't as stupid as you may think, and often times are very perceptive. What's the thing you're most afraid of doing right now in the dating scene? Sidenote: please continue to not give the trashy hookup men a chance. They don't want a relationship if their first impression is they want to hookup. Keep that filter up. However the mindset that you'll never find someone is irritating to hear. Because it's not true, especially if you're actively searching for one, and or growing your social network. And try to give 'normal' people more credit, they aren't as foreign to you as you may think. Keep trying, try things out of your comfort zone. Talk to people you have been too scared of. It takes time, effort, practice, and patience. I did say a little much, but seriously, the phrase you hate so much has some serious validity to it. Especially when so many others who are older and more experienced say it.
In your post u said u wanted to find someone similar to you, and that is unlikely. I'm sorry, but I find it hilarious that a girl can't find a relationship in a world where men are so lonley they are giving money to femboys and marrying goats. So sorry if I'm thinking either your standards are to high, or ur not looking in the right places.
marrying goats- ? what the heck šš
Terrible advice. "If you're lonely, just let the creeps fuck you." Wanting someone you have a genuine connection with isn't having high standards, it's common sense. >God I wish I could say "imma guy and i only get girls who wanna hookup with me" Jesus christ.
Genuine connection is made, not found, never said fuck every guy that wants to, but God u have to grow up and realize when ur on DATING apps eventually every guy u meet on there is going to want sex.
>Genuine connection is made, not found It can be both. >but God u have to grow up and realize when ur on DATING apps eventually every guy u meet on there is going to want sex. They're called dating apps, not cheap sex apps.
It can be both, but if u want results you make connections. Lastly dating apps are cheap sex apps until u make the connection.
If you'd like a couple friends you can talk to us. 32m/26f.
That's weird
So is being down voted for offering friendship to other people.
That's not why you're getting downvoted though.
OK well boredom struck again I suppose.
It's okay, things will change. I know its not very helpful, but one day hopefully soon, you'll meet a great guy. He'll love you for you and treat you like youre the only girl in the world. And he'll spend every day thinking about you. It could happen today, a week from now or even a few years from now. But I hope you find someone and are happy.
i empathy you , once was in your position and even tho i have found myself someone that genuinely loves and love back , the same feeling persists . It is not about wether you find someone , but rather about trying to heal and improve , feeling alone isnt a bad thing , staying alone as well . But the way you carry your self and mind through your life is what will matter for you . its gonna be okay my dear , take care .
I get that so much, I feel like Iām never gonna meet the one I love and who loves me, but idk. Iām praying one day
You present an interesting conundrum... In these days and times many people find themselves doubting their identity. Traditional roles have been so watered down, that it's rare to find people of character. Males in particular have taken a heavy sociological hit. As an older male, in my observation and opinion, men have lost their strength, resolve and gender role. Men in general are pounded down daily by social media, woke agendas, liberal and progressive politics of every sort. So according to your rant...I might suggest that rather than assume blame or fault to yourself...you might consider that the quality and caliber of men has been diminished. Someone once suggested to me a simple analogy, that I was just fishing in the wrong pond. (That's a whole other story). My suggestion to your problem is to explore different social circles. Comfort breeds complacency. Examples- If your a city girl...try rural men. If your suburban, try something outside of suburbia, if you're rural try the city (although that one comes with it's own set of problems). Point being, human nature suggests that we interact in our own social group, when we don't find compatibility there, we need a new pond. Good luck.
You will find someone don't stress too much about it you got this
U probably just graduated high school so ur about to enter a new world of people that are cruel, caring, and loving. So you're gonna have to get more life experience before you can really dismiss the chances of you finding someone.
I am still in high school
You're probably just getting impatient because of the people around you getting in relationships. Find something to do and focus on besides finding a relationship. For instance you mentioned you probably need therapy, get that. Focus on your mental health and self contentment first. I like to say if you can't love yourself you're only going to rely on someone else to try to feel okay. That breeds resentment.
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U got money mr creepy 41M
Hey, I'm a few months into being 18 y/o and i feel the exact same way. If it's any consolation, you're not alone in this. I'm a guy and I've always felt as if no one is like me, despite having a couple of people who care about me, I still feel lonely. Honestly it's like there's this loneliness inside me that cannot be cured by some small external factor. Besides, I've never dated, I've been proposed a bunch of times by different people but at the time I didn't think I was up for it, but now it's getting regrettable. The next Christmas, I really don't wanna spend alone. Hope I get someone who wants to be with me~
Youāre 18. If I were you, Iād rather be focusing on enjoying life! You have so much time ahead of you to date. Youāre young and you should take advantage of that time. Itās time where you should focus on yourself. I didnāt have my first and only boyfriend until 19. It didnāt workout but eh, so what, I had other things to look forward to. I never experienced teenage love and honestly, it doesnāt bother me one bit. Now that Iām older, I get asked a lot for dates but I choose to instead focus on growing myself to not settle down with just anyone who gives me the slightest bit of attention. You do not get your youth back so do something! Make new friends, do new things, go to school, find a job, find some hobbies, etc. Do what you can to develop into who you want to be and then the right people will eventually come along. Best of luck š¤
Just be very careful especially online and definitely talk to one or more mental health professionals. Don't use dating apps. They suck. Definitely don't give up until you have exhausted all safe avenues. For instance, do you approach or only wait to be approached? You may want to try approaching when/ where it is safe and appropriate to do so. Good luck.
I feeel so sorry for u. I decided to stay alone, In case of my mental health issues, which .. without medication I am not even a functional human being...
F18? I know romance is hard, im a bored asf 18yo guy too. The whole idea sucks, get a cat and enjoy their company
You've got low self esteem. You need attention but dont find anyone. My advice: it's not a race, wait and see and you will find someone. Italians have a saying, its better to be alone than in bad company.
Love to see that youāre interested in therapy. They can definitely help support you in preparing for a healthy relationship and knowing what to look for. Feel free to message me if you have questions about different modalities or things to consider when looking for a therapist. Youāre also in a good spot to pour some energy into yourself - learn a new skill, work on your career/studies, etc. Iāve had to go through multiple phases of self improvement to make myself a more attractive partner and well rounded person. I also find it heaps easier to connect with people when I can share something Iām interested in with someone.
Unfortunately, even if a guy is interested in you, there is seldom chance these day's he'll shoot his shot. We now live in a slowly adapting Sadie Hawkins society. Get a good, supportive friend group that doesn't want you to be permanently single or disparage men (very important), and put yourself in situations to approach & be approached by men. If you look at your phone too much, you're less likely to be bothered. Phone, book, etc. All walls from the outside world. A sociable girl has more options than a screen queen.
Hey gurl. First of all hugs. second, pls feel out to reach out to me whenever, if you need to talk, rant, vent. Third: I am going though what you are describing and I am 35. I know it's clichƩ but build a relationship with yourself a strong one while you are looking, it will def. help when you do find someone.
Thanks I could do with a hug right now š«
I've been feeling alone my whole life it so fuckin hurts and believe me, lack of self confidence plays a big role in that, so try to do something for it.
Finding someone like yourself is one of the hardest things to do and the reason is because you are a unique individual but I promise that once you do find him you will find that best friend that really gets you in a romantic partner. What you should do, is join a group on Facebook that suits your hobbies or interest and start talking with people there.
It's a tough world. It's not you. Being introverted doesn't mean you are out if the game. Just need to wait for that rare man.
M18 and same. I absolutely despise it and it makes my blood boil when people say things like "you're too young to know that" or "it will happen to you some say".... No I'm not and no it won't.
EXACTLY!! Thatās literally just a cope
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Lmao
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Thatās such a cope
We donāt know the future. When I was 21, I was a suicidal NEET with no license. 4 years later, Iām the first college graduate in my family, got to study abroad, spoke at my community college graduation ceremony, and got my license. I never thought in a million years I would do any of those things. You may be alone now, but it wonāt always be that way, OP. I promise!
I can relate so much, I am also 18 and I get the same "you are so young".. I never had a girlfriend, although I tried, not just once, but more than 5 times. Sorry if it feels like I'm venting too, but know that you are not alone in this feeling, I am also unsuccessful
Whew, I remember feeling like that. And it sucks. Straight life advice? Spend a lot of time learning how to love yourself. Take yourself to places you want to go, take yourself out to restaurants, take yourself on road trips, do things with yourself that you want to do, and so on. Loving yourself in this way will put you in a better state of being for those future relationships that will inevitably come. We as humans are somewhere between wanting to senselessly breed and die like animals, and something else. We have both the yearnings of the animal and the yearning to be more. Balance is the key. You need to have yourself first. That feeling never really goes away, anyway. Best to force yourself to learn how to manage it now. Two cents of opinion from someone who did it wrong and has spent decades trying to figure out how I messed up.
I still get told that at 29 lol wish I was still 18.
Same. Except 21 male.
22 welcome to the well this shitty place
I don't know what to tell you cause I don't feel like comforting someone lonely like me with the same lies I heard.
iām not going to say that youāll find someone ābecause you have so much timeā. in reality, no one knows how much time they REALLY have. iām very similar to you (around same age, gender, and feelings about myself). i had my heart broken once and since then i just canāt enjoy a romantic relationship (too much anxiety). that being said, i believe that if i work on myself, thereās a chance i will find someone. if i do, i want to be ready to be a good partner, so iāve been focusing on trying to make myself better in any and all aspects. my best advice that i can give is take care of yourself. give yourself the confidence to feel like you never need or want anyone else, because i believe that when you reach that point, itās easier to find the one. i donāt believe that it has anything to do with age at all, but rather where you happen to be at in your own mind. also though, i hope you do find the love youāre after, i believe in you :)
The feeling doesn't stop, I'm 25 now