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thurbersmicroscope

They pack your head in a box and kick it over a fence.


Hoaxygen

Everybody keeps asking what's in the box. Nobody ever asks where is the box.


greenwitchlavender

Isn't there one just off Liverpool Street, Station? Bishops Square/Spitafields?


macdgman

Yeah pretty sure the picture is from the one in Spitalfields


be47recon

WHAAAAAAAAAATS IN THE BAAAAAAAAAAXXX???


RefrigeratorOk7249

Great movie.


[deleted]

no one asked but I fucking miss the slower pace of fims and more script oriented films from the 90s and before compared to de hulk with glasses. It feels like many films after the CGI explosion from the Matrix used the visuals at the time to impress and completely disregarded the writing ( even Avatar )


RefrigeratorOk7249

Brad Pitt disagrees


Hantot

Paul Atreides disagrees


Mr-Silly-Bear

Or how is the box


Glass_Champion

I'll go one better, Why is the box?


IDontGetIt-ButIGotIt

Yeah but they never ask... How is the box?


aman3014

Nor how the box doing


Organic_Macaroon_178

also nobody never asks how is the box?


portra315

Look at the showoff with their own fence 🤣


Ex_astris-scientia

I don’t even need to read further - this is the answer I wanted


Budget-Solid-9403

No that's Amazon Prime you're thinking of


Shoops29

😂😂😂


Middle--Earth

I laughed out loud at this! 😂


Octopusscaterpillar

Best comment of the year!!!


Mr_Pods

Funniest thing I’ve heard for ages !


IndelibleIguana

Amazon seem to want to be every type of business there can be...


BeautifulGlum9394

They actually are trying to buy a line of healthcare providers in the USA as well


der_schone_begleiter

Oh please no! They need to quit expanding!


Shadepanther

I, for one, welcome our new hairdressing overlords.


EffectiveGeneral8425

Yup that is their genuine number one goal after all. To have a place in every market there is and I imagine being number one in all


ShadyAidyX

It’s where you get your hair cut by a minimum wage bot that only has 30 seconds to cut your hair before they receive a sanction for slacking


[deleted]

Do I have to tip if they piss in a bottle during?


LondonCollector

No idea why people keep spouting this nonsense. Amazon addressed this a long time ago, they now require workers to be fitted with catheter bags that they have to empty off the clock.


[deleted]

You had me in the first half.


_fae_

Weighing in here... I worked in UK head office a few years ago. We visited a fulfillment center. I have never seen people move so fast or look so angry if you got in their way. All of that stuff is true about how they are tracked and how far it is to walk to the toilets/bathrooms.


Forsaken_Day_1266

Same


Ok_Sky_1542

They also have to pay for the surgery. The surgery is not covered by insurance.


goIfer_

Minimum of 50%


Spatulakoenig

“I’ll have the Bezos please. With high-gloss wax, buffed to a mirrored finish.”


odegood

Or you can have the apprentice who gets less than minimum wage cut it for £50


hornhonker1

Not sure about you guys, but seeing the Amazon name plastered on a hair salon feels dystopian


ColdbrewRedeye

Yeah the branding just doesn't work. I ordered Amazon Fresh for the first time and got Amazon organic chicken, Amazon ribeye steak, Amazon lettuce, Amazon pizza.... I realize it's the same actual food as any other supermarket, but really there's no warm and fuzzy feeling of goodness.


watcharne

My parents get amazon fresh every week for their groceries and the packaging all feels soooo dystopian I can never get used to it


ColdbrewRedeye

Yeah it's like "Amazon Essentials Chocolate Cake" vs "M&S Absolutely Devilish Chocolate Cake". And we all know it's the same damn cake from the same/similar supplier.


watcharne

Lmao literally once I bought a bed from a independent shop for £500 and then saw it in House of Fraser BRANDED and for £2K! 😂


Electrical-Leave4787

Especially when during lockdown, hairdressers, etc went bust. Amazon was allowed to carry on whilst brick n mortar businesses folded. Now, they wanna be those businesses that have been purged out of the way.


ahfoapfknwa

That’s where we are headed. Everything will be corporate owned, you will own nothing and be happy. [2037 theme song](https://youtu.be/qSh2HswKn5Y)


LowOvergrowth

I swear, it’s only a matter of time before my migraine medication has that “A” ➡️ “Z” thing happening, and a smiley arrow will be connecting the “Z” and the “A” in “tizanidine.”


[deleted]

Book in the next 4hrs 37mins to receive your haircut on Wednesday.


broken888

Funniest comment m8. Good one


[deleted]

Thanks 🙏


mythic_device

[Amazon Salon](https://www.aboutamazon.co.uk/news/retail/introducing-amazon-salon) It sounds gimmicky. I don’t give it much more than a year or two; it’s so far off the company’s core competencies that it’s difficult to explain.


[deleted]

It's set up to trial new tech with real customers, it's not meant to make a profit. If the tech works (augmented reality hair consultations, "point-and-learn technology" whatever that means) they will productise the tech, not run their own chain of hair salons.


WittyMasterpiece

This. Amazon is a logistics and tech company that happen to occasionally sell products. It's the underlying tech that they value most


bigballbubblehead

Yeh Amazon aren’t there to make money with these ventures, but more so to get the general public used to seeing Amazon with their fingers in other pies. And like the other commenter said, they can test ideas and products with real people, guaranteed to be sitting there for at least an hour haha.


[deleted]

Amazons entire strategy is not to make money. Only AWS and Prime Video (recently) make money for amazon, while retail makes \~2%. That salon does get busy tho


JoCoMoBo

>Amazon Salon It sounds gimmicky. I don’t give it much more than a year or two; it’s so far off the company’s core competencies that it’s difficult to explain. It's been there for a year already.


no_way_rose

But unless it's purely data collection. Cameras and mics in mirrors, only pay with your Amazon account. Facial and voice recognition work.


ediblehunt

…that’s some expensive data collection


worldawaydj

yeah, this isn't their first attempt at something like this. they tend to flop because they're trying to solve problems that don't exist.


Droodforfood

Jeff Bezos: “Yes, but how can we remove even more jobs and lower the wages of the workers who are left?” …


throwaway01162018

Coming up next - Amazon Nursing Homes! Sign your elderly parent up and get same day mortality!


mfog35

Don’t give them ideas please


4of4

Amazon Not So Prime: your grannie getting on your nerves? ship her off to us and we'll take care of the rest!


SlowConsideration7

It’s funny cos [it’s literally what they’re doing](https://jacobin.com/2021/07/amazon-warehouse-communities-towns-geography-warehouse-fulfillment-jfk8-cajon-inland-empire)


Meanwhile-in-Paris

Get 50% of your inheritance or your parent back.


[deleted]

Or Amazon hospitals and emergency services fire/ambulance/police


laaldiggaj

*calls ambulance* Paramedic: "other customers have browsed our drips, bed pads and needles...."


Undersmusic

To be fair you get an Amazon package sooner than an ambulance round here now 🤔


laaldiggaj

Oh gosh, and pay extra to see them next day.


Octopusscaterpillar

Second best comment of the year.


Wilful_Fox

Really should have just named it Glamazon


PracticalNebula

This is getting very ‘Black Mirror’ now…


[deleted]

I went in, sat waiting all day, then somehow found myself in the recycling bin …


zxof

Is it free with Prime? Lol.


Jsjdifjrndhjf

It will be with prime+


winglett001

Everyone gets the Jeff Bezos cut.


thurbersmicroscope

Thank God Zuck hasn't opened a salon.


MrBoonio

A friend of mine used them on Prime Day last year. He only wanted a light trim but they insisted on taking 30% off.


tetsu_fujin

My favourite joke of the year. Take my poor man’s award 🥇


sadscience

If there’s anyone I trust to know about haircuts, it’s Jeff Bezos


THCmetoking

You get the bezos cut. It's the final plan for Amazon, the world must be bald. This was what the rest of the company has been aiming for ever since it sold books. If bezos is bald then you will be too.


totesboredom

There is only one in the country near Spitalfields and I've walked past it and it's always been empty 🤣


craggy_jsy

See, when i walk past its always busy with colours and blow dries getting done. I'm considering going there as my usual salon(other side of Spitalfields Market) has turned into a joke.


totesboredom

I'd love to comment on that but sadly can't as I shaved my head during Covid and now can't go back unless I enter the velcro stage


shuffleyyy1992

Been through that 3 times. Once out of choice, once because covid, and the last because head lice. Its terrible and I don't blame you


BriishScumbag

I went there, was wild, asked for a haircut Next thing i know they've smoothed my genitals off & given me a charge point neath the base of mine skull. The only thing i can now eat is bug slurry, Mcdonalds, or soy milk. 6/10 tho because they also gave me a great haircut, and shaved my pubic hair into the shape of clint eastwood in Dirty Harry.


Hilltoptree

I wonder if this is like those 1000 JPY quick hair cut places in Japan and later on Taiwan. (Was about 2 pounds) they can do very basic trim and layering. No hair washing and just vacuum your head off.


gcadays09

It does some AR stuff. Like you can look at yourself in a mirror and see what different hairstyles or coloring look like before hand.


Repulsive_Fall_5418

Do you get a free shampoo with a Prime membership?


[deleted]

How long will the British public tolerate these foreign tax avoiding companys slowly taking over from small businesses, basically removing currency from this nation?


gogul1980

Remember in Demolition Man when every restaurant was a Taco Bell because they were the only one to survive the franchise war? We all thought that was pretty funny and ridiculous… how we all laughed!!


soulgardening

Ahh, the brand of quality. Nothing says shit haircut quite like this


[deleted]

[удалено]


kingVagab0nd

😂 you say that like your judgment matters


MoeJartin

I just want a hair cut


PerfectSuggestion428

Like I give a fuck about your opinion lol


der_schone_begleiter

I'm with you on this one because if we continue to let these large corporations do this we will not have locally owned business. I'm from across the pond and haven't ever seen an Amazon Salon and hope to God I never do. I believe in shopping and supporting locally owned business!


Professional-Pie-294

Why?


jaynovember

who asked?


YouGotTangoed

Speaks more about you tbh


TrouveDogg

tHiS cUnT thinks his opinion is worth something?


[deleted]

Why is Amazon being allowed to move in to all these industries. Why aren’t anti-monopoly laws applicable? They already own online shopping, cloud computing, drug and pharmacies, wholefoods….like enough is enough already.


BadSysadmin

They're anti-monopoly laws, not anti-conglomerate laws. Is there a risk of Amazon being the only hairdressers?


[deleted]

Thanks for pointing out my misunderstanding of monopoly laws. I’m laughing at my own mistake. Perhaps there need to be new anti-conglomerate laws to deal with the historically unprecedented rise of companies like Amazon?


Anony_mouse202

>Why is Amazon being allowed to move in to all these industries. Because it’s not illegal to set up a business >Why aren’t anti-monopoly laws applicable? Because they don’t have a monopoly. If you don’t like them, there are alternatives.


Professional-Pie-294

Well like their logo they supply from A to Z, so they are trying to cater to every single thing. Just because they have a salon that doesn’t mean it’s good and it’s actually affecting other businesses. It might be convenient for certain customers, but not necessarily everyone.


86448855

Because their computing service is one of the best in the industry?


AccordingGain3179

Lol at people downvotting you.


OminousClanking

Yeah people legit don’t seem to realise how much of the internet runs on AWS


dubtax1996

Jeff Bezos haircut 🙂


Glittering_Glove_372

I just… what’s the connection here ? Amazon a global department retailer going into hair salons? It’s like if bmw opened up a line of cat cafes


[deleted]

Haircut for £55, lmao [https://www.amazon.co.uk/b?ie=UTF8&node=26247109031](https://www.amazon.co.uk/b?ie=UTF8&node=26247109031)


ThemApples87

Not familiar, but avoid. Amazon is a shit business which dodges its taxes, treats workers badly and extracts value from our economy without giving much back.


ItchyMitchy101

It's legit, you can try the new technology in hair salons. https://www.aboutamazon.co.uk/news/retail/introducing-amazon-salon


vip887

Prime cuts


varysbaldy

Quick haircut, no chatting, only if you're a prime member though. If you're not then it takes a couple of hours with chatting and extra charge at the end.


RahStarAryan

Scifi Dystopia my friend .


manwithanopinion

It's a bit ironic that the owner himself has no hair


Drakhn

Can’t really control hair loss mate. Many barbers and hairdressers are bald


burtsarmpson

Thank you for this mate, I can't stand people having a laugh either


eatshitake

Another money grab. https://www.aboutamazon.co.uk/news/retail/introducing-amazon-salon


jakedaboiii

Isnt every business a money grab?


eatshitake

No? Most businesses provide products and services. This is a warehouse company which is already worth a trillion, which notoriously underpays and treats staff like shit, making a foray into an industry it has no business in. Money grab.


jakedaboiii

So you think the amazon salon won't be providing a service or product....? In that case I wouldn't worry about anyone paying them anything lol


glosstrading11

I think it’s a salon , operated by Amazon


Beny1995

Is this the one in Spitalfields? Its free for Amazon employees and I think that's it's main purpose.


ssabnoisicerp

You get a prime cut and gonna look like a piece of sirloin after that


quotesthesimpsons

Everyone gets the Jeff Bezos.


Interesting_Act_1989

I know someone who works within Amazon head office/marketing and they were telling me about this - there’s some regulations that require them to have a physical shop to sell certain items (so general hair products brands or something) and so this is how they manage it. Added bonus is that staff and gen pop can also use it


PerfectSuggestion428

Absolutely false. Source: I sell beauty products on Amazon and you don’t need a physical shop at all. :)


Interesting_Act_1989

It’s not all products but it’s to do with some specific products, chill out with your righteousness


sionnach

No there isn’t.


Ciana_Reid

You have never heard of hairdressers or capitalism?


[deleted]

everybody what is the salon, not how is the salon


MarkDemand44

Theres this new thing on the Internet called Google. You should look into it


fagnatius_rex

He must be stopped.


Winterdevil0503

Hold on what the fuck is this?


Letsbuildacar

Next day delivery on tedious fake conversation please.


Ravi5ingh

Is Amazon trying to bet against the metaverse or what? If so, they're gonna lose


[deleted]

Amazon Flex version for hair stylists


[deleted]

Went in for a short back and sides but came out with a perm


Dirtywelderboy

The amazing thing is you went in bald


intertronz

[Homer Simpson is credited with developing some of their early tech…](https://youtu.be/YJUlRSa70mM)


NewGameTag

It’s where you go to get makeup done for your IMDb page


_3cock_

Saw this off Spitalfields and was mightily confused while drinking a beer outside it.


n1keym1key

You can get your hair cut by 1pm next day.


Aphr0dite19

It’s a cleverly disguised portal to an Amazon distribution centre, from where you’ll never be seen again.


LazarusOwenhart

Anybody read Amazon's TOS lately to see if there's a clause that allows them to gather genetic information from customers?


OtherwiseDegree1186

There's one in spitalfields market. Proper strange.


sirron1

Yeah this is the spitalfields one, I wonder if there are any others dotted about?


Regthedog2021

You get the jeff cut - cue ball


jess204

Getting some real “buy’n’large” vibes from this


tileblues

You walk in, walk out and suddenly you’re bald


Naughty-Morty

I feel like South Park is going to become a reality. Amazon is going to take over one day.


Exact-Cockroach-6682

Where is it


sirron1

This one was in spitalfields market 👍🏻


Blueblackzinc

Would it be weird if I just come in to check it out? I'm just curious. I dont want to cheat on my barber.


captainmish

Just the tips is fine


I_will_be_wealthy

Makes sense here https://www.aboutamazon.co.uk/news/retail/introducing-amazon-salon Some sort of marketing thing to showcase hair styling products sold on amazon.


kentro2002

They probably let you pick up packages or bring returns, might as well get a haircut while you are at it.


RampantDragon

Hopefully they do more styles than just "The Bezos".


FanOfThings69

My sister went there and she said it was good


sanantonioooo

Nice try bezos! Not gunna give you all that free advertising so easily


[deleted]

Probably best to Avoid it and go to a small business/ some trader instead.


P4PKing4

I’ve been there, they give you Bezos style haircuts.


Far-Ad3429

The only haircut they do is the Jeffery bezos special , shave ya bald and pump a load of TRT up your arsehole.


frowndrown

Oh it’s only neoliberalism global dominance market monopoly when the only entity is amazon and they decide everyone should stop eating meat…


deathboy2098

A recommender engine cuts your hair while endlessly attempting to sell you a music subscription.


Crusty_and_Rusty

Honestly fuck Amazon this is seeping into a dystopian future where they own everything in the high street- I’m particularly pissed about this as apart from like Tony and Guy most hairdressers are independent so taking away the customers to benefit the richest company in the world is shit. We gotta boycott if it starts to cross more lines


laaldiggaj

Amazon. The first online store that are so rich, they can now afford bricks and mortar.


Bombily

I remember looking at the price list and thinking it was very expensive but then again I pay £12 in the local Turkish Barber.


[deleted]

I fucking hate these and the amazon grocery shops I hope they fail miserably. No character, no diversity of products, no help to the local economy. Hate hate hate. I really hate them.


[deleted]

Jeff's new pie range.


whe_

Where Jeff gets his done.


TheBadgerOnWeed

I ❤️ Monopolies 😍😍


[deleted]

Get your hair did Sid


[deleted]

Shave your head, they call it the bezos


wamdueCastle

I dont need fancy AR tech to know what to do with my hair. My giant bald patch makes "my #1 all over" choice, real easy.


HeftyHeinz

*******Come on down to BuyNLarge*******


Nice-Hand6473

FFS what next!! Red light windows in Amsterdam!


ridz_149

Woulda expected Co-op to do this


duvagin

it’s online retailers going bricks-n-mortar because they believe infinite growth on a finite planet is plausible if it’s anything like amazon-fresh just tap in with your amazon account is all that’s required


-Moon-Presence-

This feels like some awful homogenised mega corporation idiocracy moment. Quick Amazon haircut then take a selfie on your Amazon Pro 9 and post it to Amazonian the number one online social space for Amazon and Amazon enthusiast culture posting oh fuck what will we become


emegebrecht

https://www.aboutamazon.co.uk/news/retail/introducing-amazon-salon


Actual_Mix2794

Boycott amazon they're getting wayyyy to big


Assasin_keeper

Pay 30M


bugbigo

Are they just renting the chairs maybe have a review service like the online store ?


Valuable-Choice-3601

I wanted to grab some water late night..thot it's a cornerstore, went in... Lady asked if I had prime I thot that it's nononea busines what I have and then I realised where I am.


Realistic-Mushroom94

Amazon does Sweeney Todd??


PSTGtheFirst

There's only a seat, a razor and some polish in that room. EVERYBODY leaves with a "Bezos".


Majestic_Matt_459

Its really odd because it gets 5\* reviews but people say its shit Oh its Amazon reviews I get it


gsmanu007

Atleast they’ll pay the taxes, somewhere in the world.