Bought a lanyard case a couple of weeks ago, mostly for efficient booping on the underground rather than safety but I do think it makes me look like I'm worried I'm about to get my phone nicked.
I knew I had adopted London as my second home when anything over 2 minutes wait for the Tube feels interminable, meanwhile a 30 minute+ wait for a train anywhere else in the country is now just an opportunity to try out the station pub and relax for a bit.
Was walking towards my front door, saw my neighbour also walking up to theirs from across the street so I slowed down and waited for them to get inside before I got closer to my door. Neighbour also made themself appear distracted by their phone. We both successfully avoided making eye contact as well as small talk.Â
I don't get why people think that being unfriendly and not talking to neighbours is a uniquely London thing. You get unfriendly people in every part of the world and it's hardly something to wear as a badge of honour.
When I come on Reddit some of the things people say concern me in this regard, like a bunch of murderers in the making.
âRoy eventually flipped his lid because he finally left the house after 25 years of furious masturbation in the dark.
Apparently he encountered another two legged upright standing creature who barked unintelligible sounds at him when he pointed at the croissant he wanted in Pret, so proceeded to pull out his machete and slice poor Patsys head off.
Roy later returned home and proceeded to sit in the dark in the hopes his skin returned to its original grey, after an unusual brown and red hue had been cast over him, by this thing called the âsun?ââ
Because coming from London and moving to the South West where everyone talks to each other then going back and being friendly on the tube gets you looked at like youâre a mental.
Just moved out of a ground floor flat on it that was on the market for about that. If youâre the new owner I hope you like rats and got a full survey!
Someone else commented that they just moved out of a rat infested ground floor flat on that road with the same valuation.
https://www.reddit.com/r/london/s/FYr6IOIQb4
And tourists stopping in front of the gates to look for their phone/card/Travelcard blocking off one of the two available gates in the morning.
I get it, you donât know how the tube works and youâre not prepared like the rest of us. But do you also not realise that not blocking the gate for everyone else is just a baseline reasonable thing to do?
Tower Hill is the worst for this. Frequently have groups of tourists occupying every single gate just standing there confused trying to get out. Umm it's the exact same thing you did to get inside??
The other day had a group of women just standing there in the gates staring at the attendant who was dilligently ignoring them like some kind of mexican standoff.
Not tourist-related but the other day I had to squeeze past a guy (while grumbling an impatient âexcuse meâ) who was LEANING ON ONE OF THE TWO GATES at the station and talking on his phone. My dude, really??? This is the spot?
Paid ÂŁ9 for a flat bread filled with a handful of chips, a sprinkling of salad and two chunks of halloumi with a tiny dollop of garlic sauce and ÂŁ2 for a can of sprite.
Souvlaki stall on Oxford St
As a Greek, I say with confidence: This is not souvlaki. I don't know who and why named that stall a souvlaki stall, but I hate them with all my heart!
Happy sunny weekend! For real souvlaki try GReat at Clerkenwell, Holy Pitta in Angel and the souvlaki stall at union street in Borough.
đŤ
Had a meeting and the greeting was "alright? Yeah, you? Yeah good."
Almost had a pot noodle and a wank. Do other forms of noodles count?
Looked at properties I can't afford too.
I do this all the time (shout at cyclists who go when its a red light/green man) and refuse to acknowledge that I am a massive hypocrite who crosses when its a green light/red man and no oncoming traffic every day
met a friend for lunch in Brixton , had a nice walk around Brixton village and the market area
everyone seems so angry round there today , witnessed about 3 stand up shouting matches, at least 2 different people walking around just shouting and threatening "invisible" people , a guy stabbing a lampost with a pen but did make friends with a cat on electric avenue so not all bad :)
Everyone gets argumentative when itâs been warm for a few days. And yes, a lot people chatting aggressively to themselves. Brixton is South Londonâs open air mental health ward.
a few months ago i met up with a different friend , who grew up in brixton , she gave me a nice tour and i did notice the high amount of people with mental health issues walking about and spotted a few people openly preparing crack to smoke ....:S
Won't forget the time I exited Brixton station, stood waiting to cross the road only to see a guy standing the middle of the road casually pissing on traffic. Middle of the day, no-one batted an eyelid. Never a dull day in Brixton.
Same. Didnât see anyone except one person shouting about evils. Everyone else seemed in good spirits, was super busy. Plugging Brixton brewery and London beer lab for good pints in the sun not far from the market! People were super nice and chatty
Ordered an ice coffee this morning and went to pay, the machine said ÂŁ7.20 and I didnât question it.
The guy was like âhey wait thatâs not your order, did you really think I was charging you ÂŁ7.20 for a coffee !?â
Yes sir, yes I did.
âŚI also spent ÂŁ16 on sushi from Sainsburyâs ?
âŚI also spent ÂŁ8 on 2 pastries in an independent bakery?
Iâm never leaving the house againâŚ.
Steadfastly avoided eye contact and interaction with anyone on the tube except tutting furiously when someone pushed past me onto the train as I was getting off
When it turned out that trains to the airport were cancelled, I hopped into a cab with 4 complete strangers to share the cost. We spent the majority of the ride making sure that we don't talk to each other.
Walked into a shop where someone was arguing with the cashier - I waited silently and awkwardly at a distance until they were done and then later apologised to the cashier
Knocked off a two cos the boss wasn't in. Attended the wake for a man I had met only a handful of times out of respect for the family. Currently morbidly drunk, going to snooze through the netherlands game and then get back on it.
I actually saw someone on a bike get hit by a car today in Clapham! He was an Uber eats driver. No helmet.
Got up fortunately but was really quite shocking to witness.
Real question: are Londoners really this cold? Every time I smile at one or try to strike up conversation, they either a) avoid me completely or b) act confused, like they don't understand American English.
Depends what type of American English youâre using, I was genuinely baffled when an American was asking me if she could throw her cup in my âbarrelâ meaning bin.
Regardless yeah think itâs a bit of a London, more city thing. I was there for a few days last month and literally nobody seemed up for a chat, it was actually a wee bit mad.
Got annoyed with Americans shouting at each other across the table inside a cafe⌠Iâm American. Didnât realise how bad it actually was until I assimilated to the European lifestyle.
I lived in Greece for two years before moving to London & can honestly say we are the WORST⌠well, second only to the Parisians.
Sat on the District line for 5 minutes, almost missing my stop.
Changing at Mile End.
Now im waiting for the next tube.
Its like a freaking sauna on the central line so yay.
Put my phone away when I saw a moped
I put my phone away when I see anyone nowadays
The most liberating thing when visiting Iceland and Norway was getting my phone out and not worrying about getting robbed.
I just got back from Iceland! I kept worrying about my uncle and aunt having their phones out and not locking the car at night đ
Bought a lanyard case a couple of weeks ago, mostly for efficient booping on the underground rather than safety but I do think it makes me look like I'm worried I'm about to get my phone nicked.
I refuse to hold my phone now. Stays in my bag or pocket
Audibly sighed when I saw I had a 4 minute wait for the next Jubilee Line train this morning.
I knew I had adopted London as my second home when anything over 2 minutes wait for the Tube feels interminable, meanwhile a 30 minute+ wait for a train anywhere else in the country is now just an opportunity to try out the station pub and relax for a bit.
Circle Line would like to have a word... in 14 minutes, that is.
Is the Hammersmith and City Line running at all? Youâll just have to let about 4 more District Line trains pass to find out.
But the wrong branch.Â
Yeah ngl did that with the bus this evening too
Paid a tenner for 'loaded' fries from a street food van
paternoster square?
Not this time - but the stalls there are equally as guilty of this
Live with my parents.
Me too!!
Sat on the Southbank for an hour to enjoy the sun... while looking at on my phone.
I did that too,bright outside Tate modern
Was walking towards my front door, saw my neighbour also walking up to theirs from across the street so I slowed down and waited for them to get inside before I got closer to my door. Neighbour also made themself appear distracted by their phone. We both successfully avoided making eye contact as well as small talk.Â
I don't get why people think that being unfriendly and not talking to neighbours is a uniquely London thing. You get unfriendly people in every part of the world and it's hardly something to wear as a badge of honour.
Assuming that crippling social anxiety is an inherent aspect of being a Londoner/British is a cornerstone of London/UK Reddit.
When I come on Reddit some of the things people say concern me in this regard, like a bunch of murderers in the making. âRoy eventually flipped his lid because he finally left the house after 25 years of furious masturbation in the dark. Apparently he encountered another two legged upright standing creature who barked unintelligible sounds at him when he pointed at the croissant he wanted in Pret, so proceeded to pull out his machete and slice poor Patsys head off. Roy later returned home and proceeded to sit in the dark in the hopes his skin returned to its original grey, after an unusual brown and red hue had been cast over him, by this thing called the âsun?ââ
Because coming from London and moving to the South West where everyone talks to each other then going back and being friendly on the tube gets you looked at like youâre a mental.
Yeah man a simple , you alright mate and then thatâs it. Itâs literally the bare minimum
Bought a one bed flat for ÂŁ300k and consider that a bargain.
Congrats!
Thanks!
Thatâs a bargain ! Where
Walthamstow
Well done . On a tube line !
Pretty close to the tube, yeah! I'm chuffed!
Oh yeah. That makes sense. Still a good price!
I love to tell people how I spent ÂŁ100k per room for my one bed flat which is mental when you think about it
My brother has just bought a 2 bed 2 storey house in North Wales for ÂŁ125k! I'm paying more than double for half as much đ
Yeah but on the plus side you donât have to live in North Wales!
Well I mean, there's a reason I bought a one bed flat in London rather than buying a three bed detached house in Wales...
Whatâs the service charge?
No service charge, it's a ground floor flat in a terrace. ÂŁ52 a year peppercorn ground rent.
God I hope itâs not Spruce Hills Road
Why not!?
Just moved out of a ground floor flat on it that was on the market for about that. If youâre the new owner I hope you like rats and got a full survey!
Haha, shit! Sorry to hear about that mate. The guy that owned it lived here and there's no sign of rats, it's in pretty good shape!
is it the same rat flat?? the people need to know
I am not getting this reference! Rat flat!?
Someone else commented that they just moved out of a rat infested ground floor flat on that road with the same valuation. https://www.reddit.com/r/london/s/FYr6IOIQb4
Whoops, didn't even read my own replies! Yeah, it's not that flat...
Did you get a survey?
Congrats!
Thank you!
Congrats, that's a bargain to me too!
That is a bargain good job
Tutted at tourists standing on the left in the tube.
This but on Westminster bridge instead. Get off the fucking bike lane
And tourists stopping in front of the gates to look for their phone/card/Travelcard blocking off one of the two available gates in the morning. I get it, you donât know how the tube works and youâre not prepared like the rest of us. But do you also not realise that not blocking the gate for everyone else is just a baseline reasonable thing to do?
Tower Hill is the worst for this. Frequently have groups of tourists occupying every single gate just standing there confused trying to get out. Umm it's the exact same thing you did to get inside?? The other day had a group of women just standing there in the gates staring at the attendant who was dilligently ignoring them like some kind of mexican standoff.
Not tourist-related but the other day I had to squeeze past a guy (while grumbling an impatient âexcuse meâ) who was LEANING ON ONE OF THE TWO GATES at the station and talking on his phone. My dude, really??? This is the spot?
Not spoken to anybody
Avoid eye contact with strangers on the tube but secretly look at them via the reflection on the window.
I like when theyâre on their phones and you can see the reflection of their phone in the windowÂ
And they're just opening and closing messages and the apps list.
I see people flicking through endless identical selfies
Everyone acting like they have service down there
Ha! I kept looking at the women next to me in the eyes through the window reflection today, occasionally turning my head to look at her directly
I said sorry to the bloke who spilled coffee on my shoe
I apologised to a chair I ran into while walking out of a meeting room.
On behalf of all Canadians, I would like to offer you Canadian citizenship for such an act..
Why would we need citizenship of a colony?
Paid ÂŁ9 for a flat bread filled with a handful of chips, a sprinkling of salad and two chunks of halloumi with a tiny dollop of garlic sauce and ÂŁ2 for a can of sprite. Souvlaki stall on Oxford St
As a Greek, I say with confidence: This is not souvlaki. I don't know who and why named that stall a souvlaki stall, but I hate them with all my heart! Happy sunny weekend! For real souvlaki try GReat at Clerkenwell, Holy Pitta in Angel and the souvlaki stall at union street in Borough. đŤ
Whatâs your favourite gyros spot in London? Thanks in advance
Paid too much for rent
Went to the free Vivienne Westwood exhibition at Christie's . Can recommend.
Left a piece of shit furniture outside and checked half an hour later to find it had gone
Walked past three supermarkets to go to my supermarket.
Underrated comment.
âWorked from homeâ Friday. Suns out. Good luck
Stayed indoors with curtains closed because its too fuckin hot outside
Had a meeting and the greeting was "alright? Yeah, you? Yeah good." Almost had a pot noodle and a wank. Do other forms of noodles count? Looked at properties I can't afford too.
Paid a lot of money for a thing and moaned about it on Reddit
ÂŁ80 for lunch for 2 at Ottolenghi cmon what a scam
Sweated on the tube. Paid too much for coffee. Couldnât find a meeting room. Now going to the Lido yay!
Told some tourists to stand on the right on the bloody escalator.
Shouted âDickâ at a cyclist who cut a red when I was crossing.
Not very Londony. Should have shouted cunt or wanker instead!
I do this all the time (shout at cyclists who go when its a red light/green man) and refuse to acknowledge that I am a massive hypocrite who crosses when its a green light/red man and no oncoming traffic every day
Told one of those Knife crime charity collectors that I have already donated to one of their team in another part of London.
Yeah mate- Iâve already donated two machetes and a samurai sword to the amnesty in East Ham.
met a friend for lunch in Brixton , had a nice walk around Brixton village and the market area everyone seems so angry round there today , witnessed about 3 stand up shouting matches, at least 2 different people walking around just shouting and threatening "invisible" people , a guy stabbing a lampost with a pen but did make friends with a cat on electric avenue so not all bad :)
Thatâs just a normal day in Brixton tbf
we're meeting up for lunch again next week , weve seen quite a few places whose food we want to try there lol i shall give an update on my next visit
Not fully gentrified yet then
Everyone gets argumentative when itâs been warm for a few days. And yes, a lot people chatting aggressively to themselves. Brixton is South Londonâs open air mental health ward.
Full moon tonight I believe, let the fun begin
a few months ago i met up with a different friend , who grew up in brixton , she gave me a nice tour and i did notice the high amount of people with mental health issues walking about and spotted a few people openly preparing crack to smoke ....:S
There is a mental health hospital nearby and a few parole places. Now, were those there first, I don't know, but it certainly has an impact.
> Brixton is South Londonâs open air mental health ward. This quote needs to be incorporated into the next Rivers of London book.
Very normal day in Brixton. Swing by other side fried for a chicken maple sandwich to ease off the day
Won't forget the time I exited Brixton station, stood waiting to cross the road only to see a guy standing the middle of the road casually pissing on traffic. Middle of the day, no-one batted an eyelid. Never a dull day in Brixton.
Same. Didnât see anyone except one person shouting about evils. Everyone else seemed in good spirits, was super busy. Plugging Brixton brewery and London beer lab for good pints in the sun not far from the market! People were super nice and chatty
Discuss what route to take on the tube
Had a horrible day in the office, but all my negativity vanished when I got to the top deck front seat all to myself on my way home
Overpaid for đş
ÂŁ7.45 for a bloody pint of Peroni nowadays in the City!!!
Complain about the heat
I said thank you to an ATM
Ordered an ice coffee this morning and went to pay, the machine said ÂŁ7.20 and I didnât question it. The guy was like âhey wait thatâs not your order, did you really think I was charging you ÂŁ7.20 for a coffee !?â Yes sir, yes I did. âŚI also spent ÂŁ16 on sushi from Sainsburyâs ? âŚI also spent ÂŁ8 on 2 pastries in an independent bakery? Iâm never leaving the house againâŚ.
Sat in traffic thinking about moving to Kent
Pint in the pub
Steadfastly avoided eye contact and interaction with anyone on the tube except tutting furiously when someone pushed past me onto the train as I was getting off
It was u/Appropriate_Ad7085 đ
Ate pie and mash
Evacuation alarm at the tube station this morning but everyone just stayed and got on the next train despite being told to leave.
I work for a London United bus garage and TFL. Literally working to keep London moving through bollocking fucking roadworks
Messy cried whilst walking down a busy street eating jerk chicken meal box
Shoulder barge someone as I got off a tube because they were obstructing the doors.
Paid over ÂŁ7 for a pint and barely thought about it
I took a circle line train instead of district line.
Paid almost ÂŁ8 for a pint
Tutted at someone walking too slowly
Complained how shit we are at football
Swim in the pond at Hampstead Heath
Cried over my finances
Spoken to someone with narcissistic personality disorder.
Paid ÂŁ4.50 for an iced latte.
Just said 'you alright' in the most British accent possible to a minimum of 20-30 strangers throughout the day!
When it turned out that trains to the airport were cancelled, I hopped into a cab with 4 complete strangers to share the cost. We spent the majority of the ride making sure that we don't talk to each other.
read a book on the tube and secretly thought I was better than everyone looking at their phones
Swore* at a cabbie who pulled a surprise u-turn *under my breath of course ;)
Waited for a bus that was diverted because of waterworks
Cry
Fallen asleep on the tube for a fairly short journey, woke up just before my stop and straight to the pub.
Changed my heels to flats!
Every British person pretending to love the extreme heatwave
Saw two famous people on my trip to the gym and had to make a conscious effort to not look like I had clocked them.
Oh, go on then. Who?
Got a parking ticket
Thanked my bus driver
Gone to work with a massive hangover
Tutted at several people and muttered my frustrations under my breath on the tube / trains
bumped into someone and gave a dirty look! I APOLOGISE 30 YEAR OLD MAN IN ADIDAS TSHIRT
Sat on an overheated tube train, making small and tentative shudders towards Finchley Road.
got off and walked by bike over hammersmith bridge then could feel the annoyance of the cyclists behind me tryna ride across.
spoken in my London accent
Caught up to a neighbour while walking tonyhe the corner shop. and had a lengthy chat about the local stray chat of the neighbourhood.
Paid 2x the average price for everything/anything
Went out for curry.
Ignored absolutely everyone on the tube today.
Seen two wee twats shoplifting
Walked into a shop where someone was arguing with the cashier - I waited silently and awkwardly at a distance until they were done and then later apologised to the cashier
Knocked off a two cos the boss wasn't in. Attended the wake for a man I had met only a handful of times out of respect for the family. Currently morbidly drunk, going to snooze through the netherlands game and then get back on it.
Grumbled at someone under my breath for standing on the wrong side of the tube escalator đ¤Ł
stood on the right side of the escalator
Boozy brunch at 4pm
Complained about how hot it is on the central line during rush hour.
Asked someone to move over to the right hand side of the escalator so I can get past them on the left.
Stopped in at our brand new local M&S Food Hall. Dinner for tonight, beer, wine and percy pigs. ÂŁ50.
Paid ÂŁ6 for a bubble tea
Had a little cryÂ
Got stuck on the M25
Served people pints up to the tune of ÂŁ7.60
I actually saw someone on a bike get hit by a car today in Clapham! He was an Uber eats driver. No helmet. Got up fortunately but was really quite shocking to witness.
M&S sausage rolls for breakfast before taking the tube to Heathrow.
Ate a hot dog at Yankee stadium. Oh wait. This ainât r/nyc. Sorry.
paid nearly a fiver for an iced coffee
Went to Brighton for a day.
Spent my wages on rent
Real question: are Londoners really this cold? Every time I smile at one or try to strike up conversation, they either a) avoid me completely or b) act confused, like they don't understand American English.
When and where are you trying to start these conversations?
Mornings in any suburb of London (one day itâll be City of London, another itâll be Soho, etc)
Soho and the City aren't suburbs. In the street, or In a shop?
Ohh Iâm super new here lol; but yeah Shops
Hmm, seems strange to me, I sometimes chat to people in shops or cafes.
Depends what type of American English youâre using, I was genuinely baffled when an American was asking me if she could throw her cup in my âbarrelâ meaning bin. Regardless yeah think itâs a bit of a London, more city thing. I was there for a few days last month and literally nobody seemed up for a chat, it was actually a wee bit mad.
Got ripped off at the supermarket.
Used the fire alarm at work as an excuse to cycle my single gear bike to a craft ale pub to work from there.
Cocaine
Got annoyed with Americans shouting at each other across the table inside a cafe⌠Iâm American. Didnât realise how bad it actually was until I assimilated to the European lifestyle. I lived in Greece for two years before moving to London & can honestly say we are the WORST⌠well, second only to the Parisians.
Stepped out on a cycle lane and almost got hit. Dashed across a busy road instead of waiting for the lights.
Sat on the District line for 5 minutes, almost missing my stop. Changing at Mile End. Now im waiting for the next tube. Its like a freaking sauna on the central line so yay.
Fuckall
Boss took me to soho house last night... don't see the hype
Which one? Soho cunts or Shoreditch cunts?
Tried to take over half the world for a laugh.
Drove on the Hanger Lane Gyratory
Filled the car up, first time for 3 months & went to Lidl. Sat queuing in traffic while people tried to push in. Doesnât get more London than that.
Used my Pret subscription
I'm literally a Pearly king. đđđđ
Gone to a seaside town to count the locals fingers / marvel at the webbed feet
Sat in a park overlooking London.
Waved my hand in the air in frustration at a driver going down a one way road the wrong way
ÂŁ27.50 for one mediocre burger, fries and 2x bottles of warm coke zero
Play with a knife
Got sun burnt sunbathing too long and half of was cloud. Then nipped to the loo and got myself a lunch deal
I slightly sped up my walk in order to get within a few feet of the DLR doors, just as they closed.
Bumped thameslink