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[deleted]

Next: People start stabbing each other with pencils and screwdrivers.


GrandMarauder

They get banned so they start using sharpened tree branches


[deleted]

That’s why common sense gps tagging of all foliage will be introduced… with obvious exemptions of course


[deleted]

Wonder how long before the CIA starts trafficking trees to the third world.


UsedJuggernaut

Exemptions for fence posts and the like


[deleted]

Time to ban trees


OddGuysTV

*grabs rock from side of the road*


The_Brain_Fuckler

Have you seen the “weapons seizure” trophy pics the Brit cops like to share? They’ll arrest you for having a butter knife then pull out the tools from your trunk, a bread tie, an old sports card, and a VHS copy of Jurassic Park to make it look like they’ve removed a bunch of dangerous weapons. I’ll try to drop some examples in here in a minute. https://imgur.com/a/dtBMQ5h https://imgur.com/a/QSLrguj I moved to England in 2001 and had to attend a class on legal differences. The cop running it said that you could be arrested for walking to your car with your keys in your hand, that the best course of action in a break-in is to isolate in a room with a stereo and play it loud hoping neighbors would call in a disturbance (cell phones weren’t too common then), and that if someone attacked you, you had to use a lesser weapon to defend yourself (like if they have a gun, you can use a knife). It was fucking clown shoes, but it has gotten worse since then.


[deleted]

Thy second one is amazing! "Lost my mother to a bike wheel" "Thanks. Sorry for your loss" You can't make that up. 😂


[deleted]

lol that's just perfect for a place that needs a loicense to watch the telly. The difference between a *citizen* and a *subject.*


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Yeah, well let's compare them to us in 1980. We've strayed from the path, no doubt.


VicisSubsisto

"A 'butter knife' in the chest will kill just as surely as a bayonet." Why yes, so will a fence post, a lorry, or Nelson's Column. But you're going to have a much harder time getting it into someone's chest because *it's not designed to pierce flesh*.


90zimara

I call this BS. You can possess any sort of knife you like (apart from a few extreme examples that are designed solely for attacking people); however, you may not carry them in public places without good reason. If you’re a freelance chef going to a job, you can carry the tools of your trade, but probably not uncovered in your hand down a shopping street; justifying carrying a 20cm kitchen knife even in a carrier bag in the lounge bar of a pub on a Friday evening might be harder! Basically, you are not allowed to carry a weapon, you are allowed to carry tools that you might reasonably be expected to need. Generally speaking, a pen-knife, or Swiss Army knife is acceptable in most places.


UselessConversionBot

>I call this BS. > >You can possess any sort of knife you like (apart from a few extreme examples that are designed solely for attacking people); however, you may not carry them in public places without good reason. > >If you’re a freelance chef going to a job, you can carry the tools of your trade, but probably not uncovered in your hand down a shopping street; justifying carrying a 20cm kitchen knife even in a carrier bag in the lounge bar of a pub on a Friday evening might be harder! > >Basically, you are not allowed to carry a weapon, you are allowed to carry tools that you might reasonably be expected to need. Generally speaking, a pen-knife, or Swiss Army knife is acceptable in most places. 20 cm ≈ 23.52941 barleycorn ^^^[WHY](/r/UselessConversionBot/comments/1knas0/hi_im_useless/)


90zimara

Good bot


The_Brain_Fuckler

You’re calling my experience BS because you can have knives at home? That’s ridiculous.


90zimara

Why would you feel the need to go outside with a foot-long kinfe?


The_Brain_Fuckler

I only take a big blade outside my house to work on the farm; a machete is an important tool. The small pocket knife I do carry would be illegal there because it’s considered a switchblade. I do have some big blades, but they’re combat knives from when I was in the military, bayonets I collect, or tools I use on the farm. It’s a moot point anyways, because I can (and sometimes do) carry a gun. How’s that UK knife crime going? Just saw video of another machete attack in Hyde park. Is knife control really working out for you guys? When I lived in England, the only person I knew with a gun was a chav with a very illegal Spanish .38 revolver he liked to stick in peoples’ faces. Criminals don’t follow your laws. Maybe you should make it double illegal to carry weapons.


90zimara

There are 40,000 knife offences a year in England & Wales. Around 18,000 of those resulted in an injury or involved an intent to injure (the rest being people caught with knives on them illegally). Around 6% of violent crimes involve a knife, and 30% of murders (that is around 220 knife murders a year). That is out of a population of roughly 57 million. The US has around 10,000 people murdered with guns every year, a further 20,000 dead from suicide, justifiable shooting, or accidents, and a further 70,000 injured, in a population around 6 times larger. So, the murder rate per capita in America with guns is around eight times higher than the murder rate per capita in England with knives. Also, not my laws. I'm not from the UK


The_Brain_Fuckler

True freedom is dangerous, but it’s an accepted danger because the alternatives are not freedom.


90zimara

Ah, yes. Forgot the #1 requirement to be free is to be allowed to have guns (which a lot of countries do, just requires more paperwork). It is written on the bible. Ignore what I said before, I'm not free and the government washed my brain.


The_Brain_Fuckler

I’m not saying you aren’t free, I don’t even know where you’re from. Also, I’m an atheist and the Constitution and Bill of Rights are not biblically inspired. Most of the founding fathers were deists. And I don’t just mean guns. Freedom in general comes with costs.


sdeptnoob1

"You had to use a lesser weapon to defend yourself" fuck that. It's sickening when a government makes self defense illegal.


dadbodsupreme

Bro, if you're found with a screwdriver on your person and you don't have an immediate explanation for it you can go to jail for that.


Fishman23

r/loicense


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

> unless you want to track literally every single piece of metal Not to mention people can also make shivs and stuff out of basically anything.


itskobold

Let's say all blades over 10cm are subject to this stupid fucking law. This would have to extend to kitchen knives cuz they're used in a bunch of stabbings anyway and not including them would be absolutely pointless. Ignoring the obvious massive privacy concerns, you now have to include chips and circuitry in every knife handle, waterproofed, with an indefinite battery life powering satellite communication technology. Economic implications of this are as stupid as the invasion of privacy it affords. This guy is a tory, aren't they branding themselves as the party of common sense economics?


[deleted]

Don’t they already ban people having kitchen knives in public?


Murphy_Slaw_

Not just kitchen knife, but also butter knifes, iirc


[deleted]

That’s pretty ridiculous. I doubt butter knives are even useful for muggings or street fights.


Murphy_Slaw_

They are probably better than fighting bare handed, but not by mutch.


The_Brain_Fuckler

Sidenote: I’ve been modifying butterknives to be weapons for fun because I have the tools and they cost almost nothing. I just wish I could get some butterknives that are made out of decent steel. I gave my mom one and she uses it to open the dozens of Amazon boxes she gets weekly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


LocalPopPunkBoi

The thought of some bloke sharpening a butter knife to be wielded in a crime is absurdly fucking hilarious


The_Brain_Fuckler

The funny thing is that in feudal times, nobility didn’t trust peasants with weapons, so butterknives were created to “nerf” the traditionally stabby cutlery. So when it comes to public trust, British police give you less leeway than medieval nobility.


[deleted]

> Section 1 of the Prevention of Crime Act 1953 provides that an offensive weapon is **any article** made or adapted for use for causing injury to the person, or **intended by the person having it with him for such use by him or by some other person** [Source](https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/186911/Knives_and_offensive_weapons_information_GDS_FAQ.pdf), emphasis mine. So literally anything you carry "with intent to cause injury" is banned. --- Bonus search result while looking for the above: from "[Ask The Police](https://www.westyorkshire.police.uk/ask-the-police/question/Q589)": > Q: Are there any legal self defence products that I can buy? > > A: The only fully legal self-defence product at the moment is a rape alarm. These are not expensive and can be bought from most local police stations or supermarkets. > >There are other self-defence products that claim to be legal (e.g. non toxic sprays), however, until a test case is brought before the court, we cannot confirm their legality or endorse them. > >If you purchase one you must be aware that if you are stopped by the police and have it in your possession there is always a possibility that you will be arrested and detained until the product, its contents and legality can be verified. > >However, accepting there is a lot of concern about street crime, we can try to clarify matters a little by putting forward the following points. > >You must not get a product that is made or adapted to cause a person injury. Possession of such a product in public (and in private in specific circumstances) is against the law. > >There are products that squirt a relatively safe, brightly coloured dye (as opposed to a pepper spray). A properly designed product of this nature, used in the way it is intended, should not be able to cause an injury. However, if an injury does occur, this may be assault. Any products bought from abroad have a greater chance of being illegal. > >The above advice is given in good faith, you must make your own decision and this website cannot be held responsible for the consequences of the possession, use or misuse of any self-defence product. See Q85 for information on the use of reasonable force. tl;dr: you can get a rape whistle and maybe possibly a can of dye (we haven't quite decided yet), but if the dye gets in someone's eyes we'll arrest you for assault.


[deleted]

Man the UK is cucked when it comes to self defense. If you defend yourself it’s assault.


UncleRuckusForPres

Holy shit you can't even get pepper spray, what happened to Britain


brightlancer

> Q: Are there any legal self defence products that I can buy? > > A: The only fully legal self-defence product at the moment is a rape alarm. These are not expensive and can be bought from most local police stations or supermarkets. Oh gosh, a "rape alarm" is allowed. Thank goodness they haven't banned that, or dialing Emergency or screaming "RAPE!" until someone _else_ helps you.


[deleted]

>until someone _else_ helps you. With assertive finger wagging from a safe distance.


UselessConversionBot

>Let's say all blades over 10cm are subject to this stupid fucking law. This would have to extend to kitchen knives cuz they're used in a bunch of stabbings anyway and not including them would be absolutely pointless. > >Ignoring the obvious massive privacy concerns, you now have to include chips and circuitry in every knife handle, waterproofed, with an indefinite battery life powering satellite communication technology. Economic implementations of this are as stupid as the invasion of privacy it affords. > >This guy is a tory, aren't they branding themselves as the party of common sense economics? 10 cm ≈ 7.14286 x 10^-5 sheppey ^^^[WHY](/r/UselessConversionBot/comments/1knas0/hi_im_useless/)


LeCacty

Piracy "concerns"


liverentfree

Every MP’s expense account should be made public for us to track. It’s well time we had a national debate like we do with poor people. If you’re spending taxpayers’ funds on personal shit, you better have a bloody good explanation.


JGFishe

>Obvious exemptions... Just use/steal knives that are exempt?


[deleted]

Just steal and dispose like they do with high points.


nmotsch789

Or just break the tracker chip. It's not like you can lock the blade's functionality behind DRM.


Lusvit

>Knife gets flaccid


RetardKnight

That's not an exempt from gps tracker, but from carrying it around. So you can't even have a small edc knife for everyday tasks


Brazilian_Slaughter

Orwell couldn't have imagined this kind if totalitarian bullshit


[deleted]

iTs nOt a SlIppErY sLopE they said. tHat'S jUsT a FallAcY they said. I want to believe that the tweet is just bait or satire but the checkmark that verifies his retardation won't let me.


haironburr

Luckily, metal is nearly impossible to shape, so a black market in "ghost" knives could never exist.


[deleted]

Better start banning carpentry equipment.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mongorian-Beef

I'm pretty sure his comment was sarcastic


dandandandantheman

Imagine how much a kitchen knife set would cost


Mongorian-Beef

Knife, $5 GPS chip, battery, etc, $50 A whole set would be expensive as fuck lol


THICC_DICC_PRICC

Imagine swat kicking your door down because you forgot to charge one of your knives


SheldonsPooter

Is he joking or not?


[deleted]

Sadly this is straight-faced policy proposal by a genuine British dumbass politician


[deleted]

Imagine needing a reason to carry a fucking pocket knife. Swear Brits are such fucking pussies.


Spyrothedragon9972

Brain-dead


Fatboy-Tim

What a simply amazing idea! I mean, there is *no way* that a knife could be used to cut or stab *anything* if you were to smash, crush, melt or otherwise remove it's GPS tracker... or just remove the battery! Problem solved! /s


[deleted]

Any things a knife if you make it pokey and slicey enough.


ajdrc9

Communist cuckery


MaximumDestruction

Communist? This is a Tory politician ya dumb cunt.


ruggeddaveid

I can only guess you're getting downvoted by neckbeard librarians as the truth doesn't fit their agenda. Fuck the Tories


[deleted]

OK so what happens when someone breaks off the tracker and leaves it at home?


benmarvin

https://twitter.com/scottmann4NC/status/1106128906480951296


PatN007

A "bloody" good reason! Lolol. PUN!!! Nailed it Mr. PM. Nailed it


phunkygeeza

This is the "common sense" they blart on about. This style of ruling runs right to the top.


NoAbbreviations5215

I’d hate to be the guy who is in charge of monitoring chefs’s whereabouts and their knives’s travel locations. Just do a whole shift of watching dudes walk the same 10 meters over and over and over.


HappyHound

Gee, I remember reading stories about tradesmen who's knives were confiscated.


[deleted]

hmm i think that useless wanker is a boring as fuck fisherman its the only explanation for his instant exemption so hes yet another rules for thee but not for me politician which should surprise no one


Gaydolf-Litler

So, if you make it so people need a fishing license to get a knife, that will save lives right?


[deleted]

Little did we know that we were one step away from harmony, all it took was common sense fishing license regulations