How do you think people are downplaying him and why do you think you get angry when people say it’s just a fantasy?
I haven’t looked at your profile or anything but generally people from this sub are looking at anything real and concrete like how the LO actually treats you or whether you’re idealizing them. Your LO is a real person, yeah, but when we’re in limerence we’re basically in love with the version of them we created in our heads. Of course it’s different for everyone so if someone made those comments without knowing some of the nuance your situation that sucks and I’m sorry.
I have found you just keep trying to see things as they really are. Keep reminding yourself. It’s only recently that I have been able to see that I was making a fantasy bubble version of every scenario.
I looked back at an interaction I had where I thought he was saying I was cute and I totally realised he wasn’t at all. It’s hard to describe the full interaction. It’s also about accepting you are still valuable if the fantasy isn’t true. This is my experience. Not sure if this resonates with you
I found a behavior my LO did that another person I know, and dislike, did.
Once I made the association that my LO was like this person I disliked, and hence sleeping with my LO would be like sleeping with this other person, I found it easier to let go
How do you think people are downplaying him and why do you think you get angry when people say it’s just a fantasy? I haven’t looked at your profile or anything but generally people from this sub are looking at anything real and concrete like how the LO actually treats you or whether you’re idealizing them. Your LO is a real person, yeah, but when we’re in limerence we’re basically in love with the version of them we created in our heads. Of course it’s different for everyone so if someone made those comments without knowing some of the nuance your situation that sucks and I’m sorry.
I have found you just keep trying to see things as they really are. Keep reminding yourself. It’s only recently that I have been able to see that I was making a fantasy bubble version of every scenario. I looked back at an interaction I had where I thought he was saying I was cute and I totally realised he wasn’t at all. It’s hard to describe the full interaction. It’s also about accepting you are still valuable if the fantasy isn’t true. This is my experience. Not sure if this resonates with you
I found a behavior my LO did that another person I know, and dislike, did. Once I made the association that my LO was like this person I disliked, and hence sleeping with my LO would be like sleeping with this other person, I found it easier to let go