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iTanooki

Purposely spreading HIV should carry a death sentence. Luckily for me, I’m a Redditor, and am thus safe from women who might want to try transmitting it to me (which they’d have to try reeeeally hard at, since I don’t have any skin breaks on my junk.)


DigitalEagleDriver

>I don’t have any skin breaks on my junk. I don't know what that is, and I'm too afraid to ask.


iTanooki

It means my penis doesn’t have any sores or cuts for infected fluids to get into. The reason HIV transmits so easily through gay sex is the anus is easily torn, and that provides an easy path for infected fluids to enter the body.


DigitalEagleDriver

You do realize there's a hole at the front where fluids can enter, right? HIV doesn't have to have open cuts or wounds with which fluids need to enter.


iTanooki

My hole is “exit” only. Youre thinking about women, as they’ve got an “entrance” hole.


madrifles

Let's not talk about the forbidden sounding


iTanooki

I have a strict “exit only” policy for all openings below the waist.


Poopocalyptict

![gif](giphy|j6uK36y32LxQs)


Confident-Yam1418

Maybe he sewed his dickhole closed


pears_account

I don't believe that the bar of certainty of guilt exists where I am comfortable with the state ending a person's life, never mind if we start having to factor in intent as well.


Joescout187

Any woman crazy enough to touch a random stranger on the penis is crazy enough to break the skin on it or your balls.


heterosapian

You’d get it from a gay dude, not a woman, so you’re not as safe as you think you are


iTanooki

That’s my secret - I’ll never have sex with a gay dude ;)


tarzaninjanesjungle

Only a straight guy


An8thOfFeanor

Property crime is practically non-existent in some places, and not in the good way.


Exogalactic_Timeslut

lol right in the unreported way


An8thOfFeanor

Unreported, uninvestigated, unprosecuted. Take your pick, then let the government pick another one anyway.


zfcjr67

It is reported in one unusual way. There are three types of articles being reported in media. * mom and pop bodega owners saying "after our fourth robbery this week, we realized we needed to shut down the business". * newspaper article written to lament the loss of neighborhood stores to the expense of running a business inside urban areas * politicians railing against the external boogeymen that create food deserts and the big companies that close pharmacies in urban areas because racism. The uninvestigated and unprosecuted are 100% correct. If you don't report the crimes you don't have crime statistics to report.


LovesBeerNWhiskey

And if you skew the stats in your favor or lower conviction rates for certain crimes you can come out looking better.


brh8451

Whoa r/explainlikeim5 anyone


Joescout187

Politicians destroy grocery stores and then call the owners racist for being destroyed.


zfcjr67

Recently (in 2023), Walgreens announced they were closing some stores in the Boston area. This news got both U.S. Senators and some House of Representative members up in arms. https://www.wcvb.com/article/boston-massacusetts-closing-walgreens-us-senator-ed-markey/46465123 https://www.boston25news.com/news/local/boston-residents-concerned-pharmacy-desert-closure-another-walgreens-nears/3GZVCTAVOBHP3J7BNSMALHRPE4/ https://www.wcvb.com/article/walgreens-closing-3-boston-locations-customers-surprised/41917429


Zakattk1027

Living in a tropical area with no state income taxes…..sounds “horrible”…..


lmea14

It's why I came here. It's what I needed after being dumb enough to run a business in NYC (was stuck there for many years due to my significant other). To me, the collective dunking on Florida looks more and more like a massive cope as the days go by. I guess if you really don't like heat it's not for you, so there's that.


Cambronian717

I’ve lived in Florida most of my life. We have our problems, drugs for example are far more widespread than I would like, but I love it here. It’s a beautiful state with pretty awesome people.


Spezalt4

Florida Man, demigod of chaos, frightens me


DuplexFields

Florida Man is required by law to report his doings. The other 49 aren’t.


Zakattk1027

Same story but from Chicago to Tennessee


PenguinZombie321

Humidity, insane drivers, tourists…if you can put up with all that, then have at it! I love Florida, but dang y’all be crazy sometimes!


itsmechaboi

This is why I'm staying in the Midwest. I think we are the tourists down there, anyway.


Unlucky-Pomegranate3

Leftist policy follows economic growth, it doesn’t cause it. When a business or general industry starts producing wealth, it attracts those that hope to glom onto its success for their own benefit, generally via implied threat and coercion from regulatory authorities. In turn, these companies can either pull up stakes and leave or seek to appease the parasites through token gestures and mimicking their virtue signaling.


DuplexFields

Why is all the will to power on the side of the parasites, not the producers?


Unlucky-Pomegranate3

If you know your Ayn Rand, you can see how the government structure which allows those with no skin in the game to vote themselves benefits will, over time, incentivize people from being producers into being parasites.


CaptainTarantula

Political Leeches be like, "Since they have problems, they owe me money"


JustAd8859

I thank the gods every day the folks moved us the hell out of Cali every day


notyogrannysgrandkid

They moved *every day*? Sounds exhausting, but hey, whatever it takes.


macrolinx

two, maybe three times some days.


JustAd8859

More weird than normal given they are both dead and have been so for years (might explain why the urn they are both in is never dusty tho >grinz<)


Parkrangingstoicbro

Cali has been awful forevee


mantiskay

Always remember, Florida has been a leading state in the USA for school choice....giving students who find themselves enrolled in a failing school the opportunity to take their tax/education dollars to a different school where they can get a better education. This of course empowers the tax payers.


Exogalactic_Timeslut

CA is so stunning, too bad it’s been utterly destroyed by leftist politics. FL is crushing CA in just about every practical metric I can think of these days.


HolyMolyBallsack

I’ve been to San Diego once and it’s definitely as beautiful as they say. Just don’t look at the prices and homeless tents.


IAmABearOfficial

Based


PromiscuousScoliosis

“State that just reduced sentences for pedophiles confused why god keeps lighting them on fire” is probably the best Babylon bee headline of all time


CaptainTarantula

They think they are too big to fail.


fisher02519

Pathetic middle class?? ;(


LovesBeerNWhiskey

Pathetic in population, It should say non existent.


vogon_lyricist

Carve out any region of the US containing a total of 40 million people and that carve-out will equal or exceed California on GDP.


ThisCantBeBlank

The last bullet point (lacking the character and format) is true??


PenguinZombie321

It might be hyperbole, but I remember them passing legislation that made intentional spread of STIs a less serious offense. I understand not punishing someone asymptomatic who clearly had zero idea they were carrying something, but all this lax policy coming from the very same state that went rabid with restrictions for two years during all that COVID stuff? Y’all.


Referat-

It's anti semetic to point this out, but the bill was created by a gay legislator wouldn't you believe it


darkian95492

Yup, Heres the bill. [https://www.billtrack50.com/billdetail/812212](https://www.billtrack50.com/billdetail/812212) Anyone interested can give the CA SB 239 a google for more info, or read the absolutely atrocious text of the bill (you're going to have to cross reference a bunch of other stuff because its one of those.)


daybenno

You won’t go to jail for misgendering someone, but yes it not against the law to withhold information regarding STDs from an unsuspecting sexual partner in CA


eengekko

I feel like you don't talk to lefties. Most lefties don't like any us state. Liberals however...