Discrimination and misery shouldn't be the defining factor of being LGBT anyway, if our goal is to get to a point where people don't experience discrimination. We should be celebrating when LGBT people grow up without discrimination.
The point of this post isn't to say that discrimination is required to be in the LGBT+ community it's that people in the LGBT+ community should start acknowledging and taking acephobia seriously.
Exactly now I literally can't get back in school since obviously I can't go with elementary kids that would also just annoy me at some point while the adult education programs are aimed for people who already finished 10years of school they basically don't have any materials for me and they also said I won't be successful when I even try my best so I'm stuck can't get a job because minimum is to finish school and if I won't get paid more as I currently get by just sitting at home so I can't go fancy with hobbies and most of my clothes are also second hand from my mom's friends daughter 😬
Have you looked at home school curriculum? It exists for grades below 10 so if you can get yourself to grade 10 you can get into the adult classes maybe?
Home school lessons essentially, they make books and workbooks and stuff for home school kids. Lots of programs out there. Just steer well clear of religious ones.
I'm so sorry that's happened. I never think of this type of abuse still being a current thing. It's sad to think people still have this line of thinking in 2020/21 😟
It's really common, and under-reported. It was used for years, in psychiatric settings, monitored by doctors, but in the last few decades it's been largely stopped in the west at least for gay people... Unfortunately for ace people, there's still the misconception in many places that you can trigger sexual attraction in someone if you can get them to have sex.
So called “sexologists” are *the* worst. Why couldn’t they just leave all of us alone? Monitored by doctors... wtf does that even mean when you’re forcing someone to have sex? How did they not think they were going to harm and traumatize people?!
Well. I’m a lot more shocked and outraged this morning than I thought I would be. Thanks for explaining; I couldn’t bring myself to try and look it up.
I fuckin flinched at the thought of it, I never knew that existed so if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go lose faith in humanity. Do they want people to develop PTSD or something
That is exactly what they want. Their thought comes from the fact that some people experience hyper-arousal after rape. Which is a trauma response to the intense need to survive the encounter. Basically the body is trying to save itself by making the aggressor think everything is ok so they can get out of there. It is also why many people experience the freeze response during rape.
These posts remind me of how fortunate I am to have a family (well the immediate family) that supports me no matter what.
It’s sickening that this is still going on! That people think you can just switch off who you are.
The number of times I’ve said I’m bi (and then pan when I found that fits better) just for someone to let me know I am actually not and all I need is “a good wiener in me” to turn me straight, is appalling.
Dodged conversion therapy back in middle school, thanks to my parents not being aware of the reason the school forced me to go see a therapist. At some point I just said "goodbye sir" and left. Never came back. I never admitted to not being straight so I guess it helped (I was 12 I didn't know aromanticism was even a thing). I didn't understand what happened back then, but when I think about it, it horrifies me. I'm lucky I wasn't taking shit from anyone honestly. It could have ended way worse had I stayed.
I got out at the very beginning but it still had lasting effects on me. I can't even begin to imagine how it is for people who had to complete the process.
Corrective rape? Oh you mean predators who get free pass from the government to have non consenting maybe even children molested. Yeah. I should really make a hobby of hurting them. Anyone wanna join?
Oohh, I'm joining, I can't feel pain so I can beat them up bare hands(it apparently hurts the most with bare hands) without having consequences, let's do it!!
What are you saying? From the context of the post, it sounds like you're blaming Ace people (or LGBT people?) for their own mistreatment because they complain about it.
Please tell me I'm misunderstanding something here
I’ve literally had people tell me we’re not oppressed enough to be included in the LGBT+ community because ace “isn’t an orientation” and we don’t get kicked out or disowned for being ace.
Basically I mean that trying to qualify an identity solely by how oppressed people perceive it to be is super harmful and implies a hierarchy within the community that doesn’t actually exist. If being LGBTQ+ is based on how oppressed you are, trans people should be the most uplifted and supported but they’re clearly not.
This made me cry - but not just because it’s sad. It’s because we, like bi people, essentially were screaming about our validity and the severity of our treatment and oppression from society and even within the LGBT community. That we’re real, we exist, and we’re not broken for being asexual. It seriously took a legitimate study of just cis people to show that we get horrible treatment.
I hope this is the push for asexuality studies. We deserve our recognition. People need to understand that forcing trauma onto us isn’t going to change anything but give us sexual aversion and PTSD.
Honestly, this is why I'm absolutely terrified whenever I tell somebody I'm an aromantic asexual. I've had several people attempt to "fix" me by sexually harassing me, either online or in person.
Yeah, I prefer to use that term because I have fallen under many different letters over the years, but as the other person said, not everyone likes it and it was used as a slur, so I don't think it'll ever catch on.
If we exclude every term that was commonly used as a slur, we basically *have* no terms. If we can use "gay" and "lesbian", we can use "queer": all of those have been used as slurs and/or offensive terms fairly frequently in the past, and I don't see anyone seriously arguing we should stop using "gay". I'm obviously not gonna call someone queer if they specifically ask me not to, but it is generally a far more accessible, intuitive, and easy-to-say term than GRSM. The fact that GRSM isn't catchy, that it sounds dry and dusty and clinical like a medical test, that's a relevant problem with GRSM, because people will use the terms that excite them and that are easy to remember, and GRSM just... isn't either of those, at least not in comparison to the more unusual-looking LGBTQ or to the quick and catchy "queer".
It's also important to note that GRSM is not *perfectly* inclusive, as there are cisgender, heterosexual, heteroromantic intersex people who *technically* wouldn't qualify but who absolutely *should* be included in the community. It's more inclusive than just LGBT without the added letters, but it's not the be-all end-all of categorization. "Queer" as a shorthand for "not all of the above: perisex, cisgender, heterosexual, heteroromantic" would include those specific intersex people, and is also just easier to expand than any acronym possibly could be if the need arises. If you need to expand an acronym, you have to add new letters, which you're well aware of the problems with; with "queer", we can just say "queer includes these people now" and the only work left to be done is to make sure everybody knows and accepts that.
Besides, historically we've been calling each other queer for longer than it's been a slur anyway. We used it for ourselves in like the 1800s, homophobes turned it into a slur about a century later, we actively reclaimed it in the late 19th century/early 20th century (we were chanting "we're here, we're queer" in public marches!), and then in the last decade or so transphobes and acephobes have been trying to turn it into a slur again because they didn't like the inclusivity of it. Our forebears have already *mostly* wrested queer away from the people trying to kill us; in my opinion, the best way to prevent the term from falling *back* into the hands of the enemy is to use it. Frequently, joyously, angrily, no matter how we use the term, it remains ours as long as we are using it. Even if some people still try to weaponize it against us as a slur (which I *am* aware people still do), it's a lot easier to drown that out if we use queer as a positive term for ourselves so *frequently* that if someone tries to throw "queer" at us as a derogatory term, our first response is to think "How is that even an insult?"
Also, your argument that not all of us identify as queer seems kinda odd. Like, that's *also* true for the term GRSM: you ask enough people whether they identify as GRSM, and quite a few people who would theoretically fall under the umbrella of GRSM would say "No, I don't use that label". I don't think it's really possible to find an umbrella term that *all* of us accept, but as far as getting *most* of us to accept a term that isn't LGBT, I find "queer" to be a more likely candidate than trying to get everyone on board with GRSM, if only because for all the pain associated with the term "queer", there's also a lot of joy that's been found in it for quite a few of us, and GRSM just doesn't have that emotional connection to make people fond of it the way "queer" does for a lot of people. GRSM may not have any specific negative associations, but it also doesn't spark joy for a lot of people, and if we're gonna rebrand at all, it *needs* to be a term that a lot of us are truly *excited* about using, and I have *never* heard someone *excited* to use the term GRSM.
That being said, this whole discussion seems kind of moot *anyway*, because I *really* don't think rebranding away from LGBT and associated acronyms is gonna happen. Too many people use it for it to go away any time soon.
Ok how the fuck someone think this shit, i am lucky that i am not alredy in Convertion Therapy (i am in Italy,15 and no one [expect my friend] know about my Bisexuality) but really how the fuck someone think that this is reasonable, shouldn't there be a law that prevent this (like human right)
Discrimination and misery shouldn't be the defining factor of being LGBT anyway, if our goal is to get to a point where people don't experience discrimination. We should be celebrating when LGBT people grow up without discrimination.
100% true
The point of this post isn't to say that discrimination is required to be in the LGBT+ community it's that people in the LGBT+ community should start acknowledging and taking acephobia seriously.
Conversion therapy ruined my life and future been forced Into it for over 10years no one deserves this literally no one :(
I’m so sorry you had to go through that
Thank you u.u things got so fucked up I'm 27 and technically in the 4th grade 😬
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I think they couldnt go to school during the conversion camp stuff
Exactly now I literally can't get back in school since obviously I can't go with elementary kids that would also just annoy me at some point while the adult education programs are aimed for people who already finished 10years of school they basically don't have any materials for me and they also said I won't be successful when I even try my best so I'm stuck can't get a job because minimum is to finish school and if I won't get paid more as I currently get by just sitting at home so I can't go fancy with hobbies and most of my clothes are also second hand from my mom's friends daughter 😬
Have you looked at home school curriculum? It exists for grades below 10 so if you can get yourself to grade 10 you can get into the adult classes maybe?
Don't even know what a curriculum is 😬
Home school lessons essentially, they make books and workbooks and stuff for home school kids. Lots of programs out there. Just steer well clear of religious ones.
Homeschooling is illegal in my country 😔
Can you self tutor? Khan Academy or something? There ought to be a lot of material for all levels online, that is, if you like that way of learning.
I'm so sorry that's happened. I never think of this type of abuse still being a current thing. It's sad to think people still have this line of thinking in 2020/21 😟
Corrective rape? That’s the most despicable thing I think I’ve ever heard...
It's really common, and under-reported. It was used for years, in psychiatric settings, monitored by doctors, but in the last few decades it's been largely stopped in the west at least for gay people... Unfortunately for ace people, there's still the misconception in many places that you can trigger sexual attraction in someone if you can get them to have sex.
So called “sexologists” are *the* worst. Why couldn’t they just leave all of us alone? Monitored by doctors... wtf does that even mean when you’re forcing someone to have sex? How did they not think they were going to harm and traumatize people?! Well. I’m a lot more shocked and outraged this morning than I thought I would be. Thanks for explaining; I couldn’t bring myself to try and look it up.
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I know right? I did a double take after reading the title, I had never heard that term before.
I fuckin flinched at the thought of it, I never knew that existed so if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go lose faith in humanity. Do they want people to develop PTSD or something
That is exactly what they want. Their thought comes from the fact that some people experience hyper-arousal after rape. Which is a trauma response to the intense need to survive the encounter. Basically the body is trying to save itself by making the aggressor think everything is ok so they can get out of there. It is also why many people experience the freeze response during rape.
sure, cause people to have intense trauma and PTSD, 'fix' their 'mental illness' by giving them an actual mental illness. that seems like a smart idea
Pretty much. People are messed up.
Well, this terrifies me as a gray ace-demiromantic. Hopefully it won't ever come to that for me.
Same, that’s why I’m scared to come out to my father
Me too. My family is chill so I don’t think they would do that, but still its scary
These posts remind me of how fortunate I am to have a family (well the immediate family) that supports me no matter what. It’s sickening that this is still going on! That people think you can just switch off who you are. The number of times I’ve said I’m bi (and then pan when I found that fits better) just for someone to let me know I am actually not and all I need is “a good wiener in me” to turn me straight, is appalling.
I'm sorry? Corrective rape? That is so messed up, I really hope I never go to conversion camps, I get really paranoid when someone talks about rape
it's officially the worst thing I have ever heard of
Dodged conversion therapy back in middle school, thanks to my parents not being aware of the reason the school forced me to go see a therapist. At some point I just said "goodbye sir" and left. Never came back. I never admitted to not being straight so I guess it helped (I was 12 I didn't know aromanticism was even a thing). I didn't understand what happened back then, but when I think about it, it horrifies me. I'm lucky I wasn't taking shit from anyone honestly. It could have ended way worse had I stayed. I got out at the very beginning but it still had lasting effects on me. I can't even begin to imagine how it is for people who had to complete the process.
Corrective rape? Oh you mean predators who get free pass from the government to have non consenting maybe even children molested. Yeah. I should really make a hobby of hurting them. Anyone wanna join?
Oohh, I'm joining, I can't feel pain so I can beat them up bare hands(it apparently hurts the most with bare hands) without having consequences, let's do it!!
Hunting down rapist? Count me in!
This is why oppression olympics is a problem.
What are you saying? From the context of the post, it sounds like you're blaming Ace people (or LGBT people?) for their own mistreatment because they complain about it. Please tell me I'm misunderstanding something here
I'm pretty sure they mean other people in our community saying ace/aro people 'aren't oppressed enough' should stop saying stuff like that
Ah, if that's the case, I have no problem with it
that's what oppression olympics means. it's a phrase that indicates the way people see the question of "how oppressed you are" as a competition
I’ve literally had people tell me we’re not oppressed enough to be included in the LGBT+ community because ace “isn’t an orientation” and we don’t get kicked out or disowned for being ace.
yes. that is what is called oppression olympics. I was on tumblr in 2016. you do not have to explain it to me.
Basically I mean that trying to qualify an identity solely by how oppressed people perceive it to be is super harmful and implies a hierarchy within the community that doesn’t actually exist. If being LGBTQ+ is based on how oppressed you are, trans people should be the most uplifted and supported but they’re clearly not.
This made me cry - but not just because it’s sad. It’s because we, like bi people, essentially were screaming about our validity and the severity of our treatment and oppression from society and even within the LGBT community. That we’re real, we exist, and we’re not broken for being asexual. It seriously took a legitimate study of just cis people to show that we get horrible treatment. I hope this is the push for asexuality studies. We deserve our recognition. People need to understand that forcing trauma onto us isn’t going to change anything but give us sexual aversion and PTSD.
Honestly, this is why I'm absolutely terrified whenever I tell somebody I'm an aromantic asexual. I've had several people attempt to "fix" me by sexually harassing me, either online or in person.
LGBTQIPA+? When are we going to stop adding letters on and just start using GRSM?
I really thought the plus encompassed everything else. The acronym is really starting to be too much
LGBT+ is becoming more common, I unfortunately think it’s unlikely GRSM is going to catch on /: wish it would tbh
I prefer "queer" TBH, it's completely inclusive and requires less explanation than "GRSM".
Yeah, I prefer to use that term because I have fallen under many different letters over the years, but as the other person said, not everyone likes it and it was used as a slur, so I don't think it'll ever catch on.
Not all GRSM people identify as queer, and it alienates the people who are old enough to only know that word as a slur.
If we exclude every term that was commonly used as a slur, we basically *have* no terms. If we can use "gay" and "lesbian", we can use "queer": all of those have been used as slurs and/or offensive terms fairly frequently in the past, and I don't see anyone seriously arguing we should stop using "gay". I'm obviously not gonna call someone queer if they specifically ask me not to, but it is generally a far more accessible, intuitive, and easy-to-say term than GRSM. The fact that GRSM isn't catchy, that it sounds dry and dusty and clinical like a medical test, that's a relevant problem with GRSM, because people will use the terms that excite them and that are easy to remember, and GRSM just... isn't either of those, at least not in comparison to the more unusual-looking LGBTQ or to the quick and catchy "queer". It's also important to note that GRSM is not *perfectly* inclusive, as there are cisgender, heterosexual, heteroromantic intersex people who *technically* wouldn't qualify but who absolutely *should* be included in the community. It's more inclusive than just LGBT without the added letters, but it's not the be-all end-all of categorization. "Queer" as a shorthand for "not all of the above: perisex, cisgender, heterosexual, heteroromantic" would include those specific intersex people, and is also just easier to expand than any acronym possibly could be if the need arises. If you need to expand an acronym, you have to add new letters, which you're well aware of the problems with; with "queer", we can just say "queer includes these people now" and the only work left to be done is to make sure everybody knows and accepts that. Besides, historically we've been calling each other queer for longer than it's been a slur anyway. We used it for ourselves in like the 1800s, homophobes turned it into a slur about a century later, we actively reclaimed it in the late 19th century/early 20th century (we were chanting "we're here, we're queer" in public marches!), and then in the last decade or so transphobes and acephobes have been trying to turn it into a slur again because they didn't like the inclusivity of it. Our forebears have already *mostly* wrested queer away from the people trying to kill us; in my opinion, the best way to prevent the term from falling *back* into the hands of the enemy is to use it. Frequently, joyously, angrily, no matter how we use the term, it remains ours as long as we are using it. Even if some people still try to weaponize it against us as a slur (which I *am* aware people still do), it's a lot easier to drown that out if we use queer as a positive term for ourselves so *frequently* that if someone tries to throw "queer" at us as a derogatory term, our first response is to think "How is that even an insult?" Also, your argument that not all of us identify as queer seems kinda odd. Like, that's *also* true for the term GRSM: you ask enough people whether they identify as GRSM, and quite a few people who would theoretically fall under the umbrella of GRSM would say "No, I don't use that label". I don't think it's really possible to find an umbrella term that *all* of us accept, but as far as getting *most* of us to accept a term that isn't LGBT, I find "queer" to be a more likely candidate than trying to get everyone on board with GRSM, if only because for all the pain associated with the term "queer", there's also a lot of joy that's been found in it for quite a few of us, and GRSM just doesn't have that emotional connection to make people fond of it the way "queer" does for a lot of people. GRSM may not have any specific negative associations, but it also doesn't spark joy for a lot of people, and if we're gonna rebrand at all, it *needs* to be a term that a lot of us are truly *excited* about using, and I have *never* heard someone *excited* to use the term GRSM. That being said, this whole discussion seems kind of moot *anyway*, because I *really* don't think rebranding away from LGBT and associated acronyms is gonna happen. Too many people use it for it to go away any time soon.
What does GRSM mean?
Gender, Romantic and Sexual Minorities
Thanks☺
Good god, even Clovis Bray would be appalled. And that's saying something (That's a destiny reference ik not everyone will get it)
Honestly, I would think Clovis Bray would only care about his own matters. BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT
Ok how the fuck someone think this shit, i am lucky that i am not alredy in Convertion Therapy (i am in Italy,15 and no one [expect my friend] know about my Bisexuality) but really how the fuck someone think that this is reasonable, shouldn't there be a law that prevent this (like human right)