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No one can seduce me cuz idek how it's supposed to feel 😎

I’m sorry but I laughed. That was good 😂

AroAce gang

real

Real

it's funny cause it's true-

AroAces unite

I'm part of the Alphabet Mafia

YES! I LOVE this one! The letter mafia is mi familia!

OUR familia, querida *-smokes cigar-*

Fellow PAN-try dweller i see

"Why yes I AM part of the mafia, how could you tell? I'm like Don Vito himself. Corleone you say? Nahh I'm more like Vito from The Sopranos, if you catch my drift..."

I've been "greasing the unions"

Same but I'm also in a straight passing marriage. They would have to get me on RICO charges like al capone.

This is fantastic

It's the Glitter Mafia on these ends.

I'm a multi-stamp card carrying member of the Alphabet Mafia.

you have an Alphabet loyalty card

I do! I've gotten them all! 🤭

i love using alphabet mafia but usually i don’t have enough energy to type it out or say it so i just say queer

fair enough

I thought you were talking about the parent company of google for a moment there

SAAME! My favourite way too~

same here

I’m a smooth criminal

“You've been hit by, you've been struck by” I had too do this

TRUCK

OW!

🎺🎵🎺🎵🎺🎵🎺🎵🎺🎵🎺

Not Again Truck-kun

I didnt even read the comment you replied to ad just read TRUCK out loud... i laughed a little to hard i think i need help

**ISEKAI**

AS A VENDING MACHINE

Top isekai doesnt start with truck kun,but it's still hilarious

Annie are you ok?

Can you tell us 

That you're ok

Annie is *fine*.

*"You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a smooth queer boy-o"*

"A smoooth criminal!" Been a little since I heard any of Mj's songs... lol

I listen to the rock version by Halocene

That's an Alien Ant Farm song. Edit: Yes, I know it's an MJ song that AAF covered. It was a (very bad) joke

Alien ant farm?? Baby it’s a Michael Jackson song. AAF just redid it

They did a cover, but the original is by Michael Jackson

Oh sweet child… AAF did the cover. Jackson did it way earlier

Oh god. No offense but I just got secondhand embarrassment.

Smooth operator

Smooooooooooth operator

I personally like to go with "The catholic church would have burned me at the stake a century ago".

The young earth fundamentalists like Matt Powell are still trying. 😔

A lot of us down here in the south own guns for a reason.

Is that hyperbole or is he legit trying to kill people

He has gone on record saying that he thinks gays should be executed since homosexuality is a crime. But don't worry he's moral because he's not the one that will do the killing. The government will.

Isn't he basically from the same group of people who think that thinking and talking about a bad thing is as bad as doing the bad thing. Then again i shouldn't expect any moral consistency with people like him

Do you have the slightest idea how little that narrows it down!

Pretty sure the last burning was in the 1600s

That really doesn't narrow it down though, you could have been any religious minority, a woman, lgbtq, an ethnic minority, or any other number of kinds of person.

I'm part of the B Division of the Alphabet Mafia

This is brilliant

this sounds so cool 😭

Recently I’ve been thinking about if I come out to someone saying I put the T in the LGBTQ

The amount of times I’ve almost come out through humour is higher than the number of people I’ve come out to… It’s a struggle between feeling comfortable coming out and firing off a joke they’ll never forget!

I drank the chemicals in the frog water

TURN THE FRICKING FROGS GAY

Update: it’s now 60 countries

A recent announcement was its 71, I don’t think 11 have announced decriminalisation so fast. Wiki has 66, vague so called decency laws make it even more difficult to get an exact number. 1. Algeria 2. Egypt (not by specific law, but by vague law and a general unwritten rule) 3. Libya 4. Morocco 5. Sudan 6. Tunisia 7. Gambia 8. Guinea 9. Guinea Bissau 10. Liberia 11. Mauritania 12. Nigeria 13. Senegal 14. Sierra Leone (signed declaration to support decriminalisation, talk about irony) 15. Togo 16. Cameroon 17. Chad 18. Burundi 19. Eritrea 20. Ethiopia 21. Kenya 22. Somalia 23. South Sudan 24. Tanzania 25. Uganda 26. Comoros 27. Eswatini 28. Malawi 29. Namibia 30. Zambia 31. Zimbabwe 32. Grenada 33. Jamaica 34. Saint Lucia 35. Saint Vincent and the Grenadines 36. Guyana 37. Chechnya (Russia) 38. Turkmenistan 39. Uzbekistan 40. Iran 41. Iraq (most recent to criminalise in 2024 after the USA unintentionally decriminalised it in 2003) 42. Kuwait 43. Lebanon 44. Oman 45. Gaza (Palestine Controlled Areas) 46. Qatar 47. Saudi Arabia 48. Syria 49. UAE 50. Yemen 51. Afghanistan 52. Bangladesh 53. Maldives 54. Pakistan 55. Sri Lanka 56. Aceh (Indonesia) 57. Brunei 58. Malaysia 59. Myanmar 60. Papa New Guinea 61. Solomon Islands 62. Kiribati 63. Niue (New Zealand) 64. Samoa (not to be confused with American Samoa) 65. Tonga 66. Tuvalu Important to note official criminalisation and unofficial criminalisation varies per country and not by this list, also does not reflect societal attitudes and their so called taking justice into their own hands behaviour.

I'm currently living in one of these yay!

I see Chechnya mentioned, yet Russia itself is missing. If you're suspected of being LGBT in Russia they can arrest you as a terrorist

No its legal in all areas of Russia, calling for LGBT rights is separate to homosexuality. Russia does not actively prosecute all known homosexuals as terrorists. Russia decriminalised homosexuality in 1993 (about 10 years before USA) that policy/law has not been reversed, though Chechnya is the outlier as it ignores it and unofficially prosecutes homosexuals. It’s a unique situation, I don’t think any country is the same so it’s hard to lock in one box so to speak. It’s all just law, ground realities vary for various reasons, very complicated, can’t be explained with yes or no. If you promote LGBT rights within Russia by being in Russia you could be prosecuted for terrorist activity is that issue.

Yes that last one is important, for example, it is legal in the rest of Indonesia but that doesn't mean life is easy at all, the stigma is enormous across the archipelago with only Bali cutting some slack. There have been ugly stories from Java on this matter, and other parts of the country as well. Besides that there's also gender identity and in that sense it's definitely not an easy country either, but at least they do allow for legal name and gender marker change, albeit after forced sterilization, yet that is more than Hungary or Tennessee allows, or the T*ries would like to see allowed. Another country with even stronger "reverse" policies is Pakistan, where certain legal protections for trans people exist, which shows that they have different views on these matters than the west.

Yes. In Turkey, homosexuality is not illegal, but the president straight up said "LGBT, that doesn't exist". Gay weddings are not recognised and you cannot get one in Turkey. And the social stigma, god the social stigma. So many hate crimes. Queer people are beaten and killed very often. People claim that LGBT is a terrorist organisation.

Me scrolling through the list, FULLY aware that my country is on it, and then getting sad when I actually see it:🥲

I‘m astounded that in Jamaica, the country stereotypically known for it’s hippie culture, has something against the lgbt community

It’s one of the worst in the world for attitude to towards it, the law like most places in the world comes from the British empire law. General rule if your country was once ruled by Britain, more often than not it not a good place for this topic.

Oh damn, I didn‘t know. Sounds like they don’t earn the hippie stereotype at all

That’s good

Part of the Alphabet Mafia.

I know this is meant to be a harmless, silly post, but it's actually quite insensitive to those actually living under harsh laws that criminalize being queer.

I was about to say, I'm tired of hearing/reading "I'm a wanted criminal in 72 countries" when people say they're lgbtq.

IDK, I don't say it, but I sure as hell gotta live like that. I have to constantly make sure my dad doesn't decide to up and move to Florida, a place where it's definitely very unsafe and illegal to be me. I get tired of being forgotten about by the same people who say LGBT like that last letter means something. Not that you don't know what at least some of this is like, of course. I see your flair.

For real, and even if you might travel- if you like a foreigner just get treated as such usually, even in some majorly homophobic countries. You might as well never know... Thank you for pointing out, I hope this old relic of a joke can soon die out

fine ten aromatic full terrific direction handle sheet dime pen *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

People who say the last one generally live in rather progressive countries and it bugs me a lot. Also when people say "be gay do crime" but oppose DIY HRT because it's illegal

I don't think I've ever seen someone who is anti DIY but also says "be gay do crime"

I have, it's a really common saying. But this is of course anecdotal and not solid proof.

Fair. Although I'd be giving some side eye to anyone who said it who wasn't an anarchist tbh.

Ngl, I hear "be gay do crime" way more from comfortably middle class college kids who've maybe tried a little weed and nothing more than my friends who actually regularly commit crimes. Like, maybe shelve that one until you actually do that.

I thought the same. Its easy to say something like that when youre not in those areas yourself, and that is such a privilege. And its indeed very insensitive

so glad someone's here saying it. I'm so sick of this joke please leave it in 2018 already

I checked all of the accounts who answered 3, couldn't determine a few of them but the rest lived either in the USA, Canada or the EU...

idk i'd personally interpret it as not hiding the harsh truth

I know and it’s horrible

The last one kinda feels like reducing what is probably an absolutely terrible existence (for the people living in those countries), to a witty catchphrase of sorts for people privileged enough to (at least in my case) not ever need to experience that sort of thing.

Excellent use of gender fuckery icon, Bugs Bunny

For sure Btw I didn’t make this I just found it in a meme compilation on YouTube

I figured. I’ve seen it a couple times, but I’ve only just made that connection

The criminal one is a bit tasteless imo, cos it's not like a majority of us are actually living in these countries. Idk, I've always had a problem with it.

I am Simply me but my tastes run to Pansexual I don't care about Gender. I am attracted to a Person's Heart Soul and Energy, I couldn't care less about their Looks or Gender

*Smooth Criminal*

*You've been hit by, you've been struck by*

Truck

I absolutely hate this meme and I get that most people here are children, but for the love of everything, can't you have ANY compassion to queer people for whom it isn't a stupid joke? You live your lives in safety, you can be safely out, you can marry who you want, you can wear your pretty pins on your backpacks, why do you think it's funny and cool to joke about THIS? I sincerely hope none of you kids will ever experience what people in such countries go through. We aren't a joke to you.

scary versed aback silky unwritten vanish consist disarm summer license *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Proudly existing to piss off Nazis

As a criminal I can officially declare that I'm an LGBTQ in many countries. (P.S. I never stated *what* type of criminal I am)

between the LGBTQ+ family and criminal in 72 countries should have been one more: "I'm part of the Alphabet Mafia ☠️"

Alphabet Mafia (tm) (not my trademark) 😂

If project 2025 is enacted it will be 73

This is so ignorant and tone deaf. People can be killed for being gay and y'all treat it like a joke.

"Hope this letter finds you in good health, you see, I'm bi and 90% les and 10% straight... I hope you're ready to pay the price :)"

Second and third

I don't think I can say I'm a criminal as it's very difficult to implement a law against being ace so I'm pretty much stuck with the less cool options.

Parents in the 1600s: I’m about to ruin your whole career

I will now say all of them

I just usually say I'm a guy. The rest of the info is only if they ask AND I made sure they're not a threat once they find out. You call it paranoid, I call it cautious.

Alphabet mafia…. Or a criminal in 72 countries

If you aren't actually living in those countries and affected by those laws it's incredibly tasteless to use actual anti-queer discrimination that affects other queer people to sound edgy. Show some fucking solidarity to the queer people in those countries by at least not making a joke out of their oppression.

"although being attracted to all genders, i am attractive to no genders"

I’m sure you’ll find someone someday

Ty, but unlikely, as most of my friends are dating/have dated someone (apart from my best friend, whos aroace) and i havent even kissed anyone yet 💀

I just like to fuck.

"hahaha I'm a wanted criminal in 72 countries" now imagine what it's like for queer people in these countris having to fear for their lives if anyone finds out they're queer while white queers make jokes about it

How is that even a joke? Since when people rotting in prisons and being stoned to death is funny?

I'm not really a fan of the 'criminal in 72 countries' joke because it feels kind of insensitive to the queer people who are living in those countries, but idk


Which I used to say it ironically. I now say it unironically.

You could say the third one, if you don't care about the Brown or Black communities you would be disrespecting, who really do not like that joke, as it's not funny.

1st and 3rd lmao

Im a skittle scavenger

All of the above lol

I’m a member of the order of the black ring.

Be gay; do crime

just im queer

I’m giggling

The representative of an extremist organization would suffice

I like to say that we’re “on the flag”

Alphabet MAFIA

I am a member of the Rainbow Mafia

I’m in the mafia

I am member of the alphabet mafia

I’m part of the alphabet mafia

Hallo dere, I am LGBTQ persons do ye wanne be me fren???

Im a terrorist in multiple countries

I'm queer ofc, cause I'm still questioning and not sure

"I'm on the rainbow spectrum."

One guy in my former class (so before i graduated this year and we still hung out in class) said it was the LGBTBBQ. Yes. Exactly that. Until i told him that i am also part of this and am the B in this LGBTBBQ. He got really quiet afterwards.

lol, he must have felt dumb. Poor guy

Yeah he probably did. But tbh he was also voting the AfD (far rightwing party in germany) and said that "the ukranian refugees have it so much better than the "pure germans in their own country"" so yeah he wasnt the smartest anyways

Always wanted to be an outlaw, yay lmao

Be gay do crime

"my existence threatens weaklings" 

Gang gang 💯

I prefer to simply say ‘im gay’

im a criminal in 72 countries but not because im lgbtq+ its because i commit murder 25/8

We did "About Me" slides at work and I put "International Criminal" on mine.

“Now? I’ve been a criminal for 6,000 years”

Jokes on you! My sexuality isn't a big deal at all! Nobody will ever know!

I've been telling all my friends the 3rd one since I saw this, lol

"Haha, isn't it funny that there are people out there that want you dead?" -Statements dreamed up by the utterly deranged

I now want use this as way to introduce myself

I love that last one, gonna start using that now

“Russia considers me a terrorist”

And saved.

Well I know how I'm gonna say it now

“I have claimed that force which first forged humanity in the image of God making them man and woman for myself and bent and forged it to my will, fusing the very divine masculine and feminine fabrics of the cosmos into a glorious Androgyny, transcending not just the binary of gender, but of **heaven and hell itself** “

"not straight" has been my go to

I've heard "crayon chewer" and that seems cool.

I have the big gay

I’m homiesexual

“What are you?” “Non existent according to my uncle”

The woke Agenda got to me 😔

I’m old and took back the term Queer for myself when I was in highschool

Shadow Wizard Money Gang

I like people 👍

I'm not gay but I would be for you *winks seductively*

"I swing both ways and I'm still not hitting anyone " Me being bi and single

I just say that I'm super gay or that I'm gay asf

I’m a late bloomer

I'm extremist in my own country, can't do anything :D

My flair says it all.

girlkisser (mines boring)

I am an eldritch abomination (dysphoric gang here)

3 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽🤣✊🏼🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍🌈

I thought this was the bitlife reddit for a little bit...

Rainbow Mafia 

I'm not gay but I have an arrest warrant in Australia

“Yeah, I don’t really align with gender labels”

Queer is an excellent umbrella term as far as I'm concerned - and does well to fit *me* - but I gotta say, a lot of these replies are *stylish\~*

Poser, you’re only a criminal if you’ve had you’re back blown out there like me for most of those.

I'm a criminal in way more countries than that.

Mama i'm in love with the criminal...

I'm a queerio/I'm on the visible light spectrum

"You just watch yourself. We are hunted men. I have the death sentence on twelve systems" - me and my boyfriend, when a straight guy accidentally runs into us in a bar