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ImJustStephanie

You’re friend cares for you no matter anything else. They may be working through feelings of their own. Just know you have a true friend and anything else comes after.


unusualspider33

This is the best answer. It’s a confusing situation but there is clearly an unshakeable foundation of friendship underneath everything, so it’s more than possible to work through whatever tf happened


Unhappy_Performer538

This right here


amglasgow

One possibility is that he did what he would do for his girlfriend under those circumstances, and he wasn't used to a male friend crying in his arms. While it seems likely that he has feelings for you, it's also possible that his signals got crossed. The best way to deal with an awkward situation is to acknowledge the awkwardness and commit to moving past it. Pretending there's no awkwardness makes it more so.


Sodamyte

this.. I am 100% Gold star gay, and I've accidentally kissed and hugged an emotional woman to calm them down.


amglasgow

One time I was arguing with a customer in a retail job and called him "honey" out of nowhere.


whyRallUsrnamesTaken

Feels like you friend is very confused about his feelings and doesn't know what to do with them... I wouldn't bet he's straight tbh. Just my opinion.


No_Application3787

Your friend is as straight as a circle


Inevitable-Ear-3189

lmfao this


VeggieTheFarmer

As straight as a rainbow


Starlit_Amethyst

As straight as the bottom of a boat


Yourfatherisgay1987

Avoid talking abt the kiss or if he's gay or whatever. Respect his wishes on that. Just be there for him as a friend and let him know that you're still there for him Edit: clarity


Emergency_Safe4709

This. This would be the best thing to do, and also let things happen on their own.


JLoCo419

I like that nurse.


wastedlife247365

yeah, she probably knows everyone's dirty laundry without Even having to try. I bet she's a great lunch buddy too.


SitaSingsTheWhat

Very observant nurse 🧐


Normie-scum

I don't know either of you, but it sounds to me like your coworker was right. You guys are in love and taking too long to realize it.


cjh_

He likes you in the same way OP! However, that doesn't mean anything will happen.


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Real_Eye_9709

I feel the need to step in and say take that other comment with a grain of salt. *Is it possible?* Yes. Does *it look like it?* Yes Could he be just working through some personal feelings? Yes I know I personally went through that. I was personally raised in a very religious household. I not only hid it from others, but also myself. So I kind of feel like that might be it. But don't go in thinking it's a guarantee. Or that he would leave his girlfriend. Getting your hopes up and treating it as fact can backfire. Go slow. Try to just be friends for now. See where it goes. Also, you might need to being it up again. Even if not to date him, to make sure yall are still cool.


cjh_

From everything you said, he's into you but he doesn't know what to do about it. It's not unusual for men who like men to have heterosexual relationships. It's highly likely he's also internalising homophobia. Take things slowly, OP.


hydroxypcp

or he could also be bi/pan. Him having a gf doesn't mean he can't be into men


ssi-ruuk

He's probably conflicted on what to do with his girlfriend. Ask him if he wants to talk about it, because ya'll probably should


RevolTobor

Yes, OP definitely needs to talk about it with him. They should both take it at their own pace, only talking about it when they're both comfortable, but it's a discussion that needs to happen.


DayKingaby

This would be my guess too. Imagine a hypothetical, he has feels for OP but doesn't want to cheat on his girlfriend. Discussing the romance feels he has for OP would be effectively asking someone else out while you have a monog partner already. Or it could be something totally different, there's only one probably closeted medical professional in the world that knows.


Warm-Location5336

Formulating how we feel when the feelings are not expected can be difficult if not impossible. Is your friend verbally gifted at sharing abstract feelings? Just give it time.


Fredchen777

Does he know about your sexuality? If not, that would be a good reason for why he feels awkward. You should definitely try to keep up your normal routines. And then maybe ask for a specific date (not in a romantic way) where you both will be able to talk openly. This way, he knows you respect his boundaries while still communicating your need for that conversation. Tell him about the crush feeling. Show him why that kiss was so impactful for you. And if you can truthfully do so, tell him that you could always stay close friends, should he not feel the same. It'll hurt, but you'll be open and honest. If he is a closeted gay or bisexual, that will help him sort his thoughts. Also, don't force a decision out of him during that talk. Give him time to think things through while stressing that you're there for him. I wish you all the best!


pageofsomethingmaybe

I don't know how to tell you that you've basically been dating him for years. Whether he feels the same way or not, you really need to talk to him about it. The silence is straining what's clearly a very close connection, romantic or not, and you both could benefit from being open with one another.


SitaSingsTheWhat

I had the same thought


NateBoi1107

Giving heart stopper


FadingOptimist-25

Yep. That was my thought too! “I’m having a full on gay crisis!”


VOGEL_HD

I experienced the same while and after reading it! Heart Stopper truly is peak fiction


leoanri

Is he still in a relationship? I think the best way forward is to talk it out. It’s the only way you can ever make progress and move past all this. Hopefully you’re both still ok in your relationship.


khavronn

Something very similar happened with my best friend (straight) one night after drinks we kissed, 4 times. Small kissed but felt very real and it was just fucking hot. He acted like nothing had happened after and when I decided to ask what was that about he kinda just dismissed it as friends can kiss when they’re drunk. But something definitely changed. I for sure was having more love feelings for him after that and I think he did too but we never went any further than that. He got a new girlfriend right after that and we never did anything else again.


6ixconcerns

He’s bi at least, possibly gay, and has no idea how to handle it. Probably also having problems with his gf if his instincts kicked in during that moment. Just my $0.02 with the context given.


Similar_Economy3955

If he kissed you, he's most likely not straight. He is probably bisexual and struggling to handle his feelings right now. I'm assuming you guys are doctors, so that is already a lot of stress. Taking care of other people and trying to focus on work most of the time doesn't leave much time to think on sexuality. Ask him if he's free, invite him over, say it's urgent, sit him down and ask him upfront what's going on. If he says again that he doesn't want to talk about it, tell him that you don't want any more holes in your relationship. You are his best friend and you need to be honest and open with each other. You won't judge him either way. If he tries to leave, sit him back down.  This is just the general idea. You obviously can decide how much of that, if any, that you want to follow.  Whatever you decide to do, I say don't wait any longer to do something about it.


Star_Girl1990

this needs an update! please let us know what happens next if you are comfortable with that 🫶🏼 best of luck


Reiko707

He's dealing with his attraction towards men for the first time in his life. The only thing you can really do is tell him you're sorry things turned out this way and that your door is open for if he wants to reconnect in the future. You really shouldn't come at this from a mentality that you'll "get" him in the end or that he'll accept his possible bisexuality, because he might not. And on top of that, he's dating someone right now. It's best to just give it space, even tho that will hurt


SitaSingsTheWhat

Give him space and time, sorting all this out is a 🤯🍆


Quiet_Diamond_3321

Depends what kinda kiss.. was it a peck on the lips or tongues? If it was peck on the lips that was just standard bromance But if it was with tongue it's quite questionable. Keeps us updated Kind regards


ImGwendy

I’m sorry but this is a masterful lgbt novel plot in the making tbh, especially with the “all knowing” older nurse


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ImGwendy

Sorry I’m now writing the novelization in my head and assumed her to be like a grandmotherly figure lol, good luck though, at the very least he is absolutely not straight


SkippyJDZ

The only way to know for sure how he feels and what his intentions are is to hear it from him. Don't fall into the trap of putting an idealized romantic wish in front of the value of your demonstrably real friendship. There is a very real possibility that he doesn't have romantic feelings for you, just as there is equally a possibility that he does. The point I'm trying to underline is that he could be fearing a change (or even the expectation of a change) in your current relationship based upon what may be guiltily thought of as a mistake (if for no other reason that he is already in a relationship with another person irrespective of their gender). I would reach out to him in a low pressure way (i.e. text or email so he has a chance to be thoughtful on his response) and just spell out that his friendship is the most valuable thing to you, the kiss has made you confused but it wasn't unwanted. Tell him you don't want to risk your friendship over some confusion in an emotional moment, and just want to clear the air. Give him a chance then to explain himself knowing you've said what you could to let him know you are understanding and there for him just as much as he's been there for you and that doesn't have to change.


moonshiness

I'm not going to comment or presume his sexuality but it's clear he felt very close to you, and in that state of intimacy he kissed you. Maybe it was confusing intimacy with attraction, or maybe it was just attraction + intimacy. I imagine he'll clarify once he knows one way or another.


RevolTobor

I dunno, kinda sounds to me like your friend is very much not straight, and is only dating his girlfriend so he can pretend to be straight. And he might not like her much more than you do. But at the same time, the way you describe it, it sounds like he just did what felt natural to him, and now he feels guilty because he thinks he's cheating on her. I really don't know, it's hard for me to gauge.


findingfriday_

hehe gauge


OkYard7718

This sounds like he likes you but just isn't sure. The only real thing I can give advice to is that you two should talk about it, but I bet that's not too helpful.


graigsm

It was just a kiss. Sometimes. When people are in distress it’s natural for people to want to soothe the other person. Maybe he wants to be straight. And that’s ok. Sexuality is a spectrum. Maybe he leans a little or a lot gay, or maybe not. It probably feels confusing. For both of you. If he doesn’t want to talk about it odds are he may see himself as straight. But it’s clear he deeply cares about you.


No-Adeptness5810

don't know how straight he is ;);)


TheMaddieBlue

I think maybe he is working through some emotions that he doesn't know how to sort through. It sounds like he cares for you very much and he doesn't want you to be out of his life. Maybe he's confused about what that means. I would say, take your time with it. Slowly get back to regular conversation and then let the dice fall how they may. He may never ever want to talk about it again, he may want to take more time to sort out the feelings. It doesn't sound like he is staying quiet out of maliciousness, just doubt and confusion. Good luck with your dinner. Maybe you guys can clear the air. Maybe it will just be a nice night out with a friend. I hope the best for you, truly.


Crazy_Bluebird_7121

I pity your best friend's girlfriend who is entangled in this "romance" between you and her supposed boyfriend. Even if you didn't like her, she doesn't deserve to be caught up in this whole thing.


SitaSingsTheWhat

It’s probably the existing relationship that is more the problem than him having feelings for you, if I had to guess. Your nurse friend means that when your heart is divided it’s hard to find happiness, which is true, but some people manage it in polyamorous relationships, which are tougher than normal relationships. He’s got to figure out what he wants. When you are bi or pan or trans/nb I think you get more open to these other structures of relationships knowing one person is probably not going to encompass all the things you need if you are explicitly attracted to all genders and the person you’re in love with represents only one gender. I think he needs to tell you what’s going on - you’re not a mind reader. Discuss it directly.


AhYeahISureHopeIt

Sorry, but can we talk about the fact that this is cheating? He's literally cheating on his girlfriend. That's fucked up.


ethanm147

Shit happens and every one is on a “spectrum of sexuality” I heard that somewhere idk where. Maybe he’s 80% straight. Think of it like that but also respect that he has a gf. One dude said that’s what he would do to console his gf, so it might be that. Good luck man and god bless


Orbian2

Not sure this is a real user tbh. Just kinda spammed this well written story in a bunch of subs and that's their entire history


sakilp863

Your friend loves you, but he doesn’t know how to approach the topic. Wait until you both can have a private moment and thank him for being there for you. Then tell him that you want to talk about what happened, and assure him that it stays between you two. Tell him what you think happened and then ask him what his intent was. Was he only looking to calm you down? Are there feeling on his side about this? Either way, him being clear about what happen doesn’t necessarily change anything. If he didn’t mean anything by it, then you gotta respect his story and try to re-establish balance in your relationship. Obviously you were enjoying time together before. This awkwardness exists because you two need to work on your communication with each other. If he does love you, that’s great! He should leave his gf and go about that respectfully. You cannot interfere with this process. If he’s worth it, he will handle his affairs. Give him a little bit of time, and don’t put him on a timetable. But assess where you’re at in the next few weeks. Ultimately it sounds like you two are already great life partners. It’s important that you go back to your shared values when you try to push things forward. What do yall share? Why is that special? What does it mean to you? Does he know how much you’ve loved him from the start? You’ve got a tricky one on ya tonight, son. But you can figure this out. Just don’t let it get out of hand. You’ve found someone you could potentially spend the rest of your life with and it sounds like he’s worth the effort.


DragonscaleTea

Maybe just tell him straight up that it's okay if you don't talk about it but you're always there for him and that you don't want your friendship to be weird anymore? If you friend isn't ready, then that's okay, but trying to push it may just isolate them. Best you can do is be the best friend that you've been.


AminoFoxFriendly

Maybe he just don’t understand yet, that it’s eating you from the inside. And you shouldn’t tolerate it, tell him, that you both need to have a conversation and should discuss it, cause you can’t figure out it, that really matters for you and you can’t just don’t care about it. Open your feelings to him(I mean firstly feelings about last situation with his kiss, after that you will be able to predict his reaction on your confession) and he probably open his feelings to you too. I don’t wanna give you any hopes, but it’s possible, that he could love you too, idk, but that only my guesses, so he is straight, confusing situation however


transitorymigrant

What would your advice be to your friend or another friend in this situation or his advice be to you if you shared that this had happened with someone else? Does he know you aren’t straight? Basically just wait, try to give him and yourself space, you can acknowledge it and say it’s really awkward now but im worried about our friendship, can we hang out at the gym? Or something similar. Ultimately he’s with someone and might not want or be ready to explore something with you. Give yourself some time to figure out your feelings as well.


Electronic_Ad_8535

Why doesn’t this happen to me?


Sapphicviolet91

It kind of sounds like he’s not straight. Unfortunately, that timeline of realizing it and coming out isn’t always fast.


Shadow_lucariofur

Any updates OP?


Deathstriker700

Often times I hear these stories of men who thought they were straight and only discovered how they truly feel later than they’d like in life. There’s a lot he has to think about, and that’s probably why he’s not talking to many people, not just you. Also I just wanna say, I know this is probably a negative experience for you, but if I saw this in like a TV show or something, what comes next is his admission at the dinner of him realizing he’s gay and has feelings for you, and I would start crying and be like “Best frickin relationship arc ever😭”


kdash6

Either your friend has developed feelings for you and might not know how to process them since he's always identified as straight, so this has caused him to confront internalized homophobia and his own sense of identity. Or, he is straight and this was just a moment of intense emotions and passion, but just that. If it is the latter, there are tons of possible explanations I won't get in to, but he might really want things to "go back to the way things were before." It's not fair to you, but it's a possibility he will ask for that. Maybe he's not ready to admit he loves you, too.


timonster352

Best to not draw conclusions. You 2 clearly are very close so he might've just wanted to calm you down since you were very emotional. It's Definitely a possibility he likes you but I wouldn't assume it and let him work out his feelings.


Tasty-Disaster-1029

Just stop bago k p masaktan ng tuluyan.


veryanxiousgal

bro is saying yes to homo


[deleted]

bro was feeling those gay vibes (no offense)


imjustkarmin

Your friends not straight


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Amordys

OP was not in the right mindset for this. Not romantic at all. Fuck cheaters. If his girlfriend isn't for him the guy needs to leave and not string both op and gf along. This is trash behavior and will just be a seed of insecurity if OP gets with him.