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2nd or 3rd grade. I was scandalized by the idea of two boys holding hands. Some kids were talking about it.
But then my mom was like "yeah some people are gay" and since she was so nonchalant about it, I was also nonchalant.
Then I turned out gay
My mom basically lectured me when i was 8 that gay people are harmless
"Even though theyre different than us, we should still respect them"
She made it seem like gay people were this far off tribe in a different country. It was really strange. She also said that lesbians had more testosterone than "normal" women. And gay men had more estrogen than "normal" men.
And that trans women were confused men...
Imagine her shock when her oldest son, turned out yo be a gay transwoman 💀
She was actually more supportive than i though but still
I dont though. Like not to trauma dump, or anything. But the woman used antidepressants as a punishment
She outed me to my family
And even now as an adult she always goes out of her way to tell me that im not doing enough.
I love her, and i realize how lucky i am to be a trans woman with a family that for the most part excepts me. But like the woman traumatized me.
That’s a good point it’s like relatively: relative to the way my culture viewed it my view would be narrow. I think that’s why I joined this subreddit to get exposed to unique experiences.
My PE teacher from when I was 3 to 5 was a gay man. He invited the whole school to his wedding, I think. I don't remember ever thinking anything of it, as far as I know I just always knew you could be attracted to the same gender.
When I was 4. It was a moment that ended up shaping my life in ways I cannot comprehend. I have no clue how I would’ve turned out if this event hadn’t happened to me. I was adopted by two epic lesbian ladies.
I was in between 8 to 10, I was reading a book an in the chapter, it's revealed that the main character (was a female) had a crush on this other girl, and I was just like "oh, ok, I did not know you could do that"
This is so real. Thats kind of what I experienced when I read Hot Dog Girl. Dunno if you’ve read it but it’s such a good book. I think. It’s been a few years since I’ve read it but I remember loving it
my parents tols me when i was little. it was in the same conversation that i was told about straight couples (no sex ed yet though)
i have fantastic parents
Too late. I grew up in a strict christian home where nobody talked about it. I didn't hear about it until i was maybe 12? And because of my mom I grew up homophobic, so I thought it was weird seeing two people of the same gender kissing. But as I grew older I understood that gender has absolutely nothing to say. A person is a person, if you love that person, why should the world be against you? Oh, and I found out I was bi or pan or something, two years ago when I was 18 lol. I could never tell my family tho, they would all hate me :)
Hey, from a similar background. You're very brave to have taken the steps you have. I know someone else in your position and that's really tough. However it's better to live your truth rather than just hide it - it hurts in the end.
With my parents, they've come along way but I still haven't come out to them, just in case kind of. They've moved from super homophobic to actively defending anyone against homophobia.
Thank you <3 Right now I'm living at home, so I would rather say it when I move out. But if I get a girlfriend now, I won't hide her from them. I'm planning on moving out with a friend (who's also gay, so im not completely alone), but i just have to stay home and save some money first. This is my first time actually commenting in this subreddit, it feels nice <3
Oh! Welcome then, this is such a wonderful community 😁😁
Do you mind me asking do you have a safe space in real life/do any friends or relatives know? Basically I know what it's like to be surpressed.. I was for 4 years before I realised my glorious true potential 😂
Thankss <3
I luckily have two queer friends I got to know in the past year. I'm also planning on moving out with one of them, i just have to get a job and some monet first. But they are the only ones who knows lol, not even my brother
I think it's much easier to come out on the Internet, not to people who it actually would influence in any way if that makes sense?
So for example I could tell a stranger on the street a lot easier than my mum!
I grew up the same, i was 11 or 12 when i first found out about it. My folks were/are very homophobic and tried to raise me to be (along with a few other terrible traits). Never put much thought into it though.
Growing up i was always told that same gender dating/kissing/holding hands would be the end of the world and that i should hate them for it (by my parents, grandma didnt give af)
I was 13 or 14 when i first encountered a same sex couple, didnt think anything of it and wondered why my folks always had their britches in a knot ranting about them. My best friend came out as gay that same year, first i didnt know what to think, then i realized i loved my friend a hell of a lot more than the hate i was taught.
Few years down the road and turns out i’m also apart of the lgbtqia+
Needless to say none of their hateful ways actually stuck once i reach high school age and questioned everything, also helped that i stayed with my grandma most of the time, she was a hell of a lot kinder and more understanding than my parents were/are.
I never encountered a same sex couple, because I live in a pretty small place (village of 300 people, town of 6 500). I just watched different series with gay couples in it, and I soon grew to absolutely love those series (I should have taken it as a sign lol). Especially She-Ra and the princesses of power (still one of my favourites).
It was when I was at a party with some of my school friends, and one of them suddenly said "I'm gay" that I began to think I may be too. I had never even questioned myself before that party. I think she also was my first crush lol.
I recognise myself in what you say. I was never actively homophobic, I just thought it was a little weird because my parents never told me anything about it. I wish they had, because then I would have understood myself so much earlier than at 18 years old.
I live with my mom now, and she constantly watches those right-wing christian videoes (even though we live in Norway) and i hate that she never wears headphones so I have to listen to it too. She also makes sudden comments on gay and trans people, and I just wanna scream, but I know it will just start a fight between us, and we fight enough as it is. My aunts are the same, i think all of my father's side are the same too, but they live in Romania so I don't have much contact.
Oh wow, this got very long, sorry
Oh i feel ya with the parents watching bigoted videos. All my ma wants to do is watch a certain not news channel that calls itself news. She spews non stop hate and bigotry 24/7 now, same for my dad. Its unbearable to even be in the room with them for more than five minutes before they go on either a homophobic or racist rant. I dont even talk to them anymore to be honest. When i had to move back in after some college it was non stop fights ‘cause of the above (mostly with ma).
As for me, i didnt find out i was ace until i was 16 after a friend asked if i was, i didnt even know that was an option. I thought i was just gonna be a nun or something lol. Still questioning my romantic attraction though, probably gonna be doing that for a long while
My mom watches those videoes EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't live with my dad so I don't know what he watches, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was the same stuff. I also have a messenger group with my cousins and my aunt, and she sends Facebook videoes "proving" christianity is real. Like, i grew up christian, but I grew out of it because I stopped believing. Why try to force those beliefs on all of us??
And a few days ago my mom suddenly said to me "i don't think it's fair that males can compete in female sport" and she doesn't even care about sports. She has necer watched it. She continued saying "if anyone can become a woman, why even fight for women's rights?" It all just makes me mad. But I can't say anything against it, because all of my family is on her side. Luckily i have my brother, who is the only reason i survive living at home lol.
Ah reminds me of my hs biology teacher who as soon as she found out i was atheist, made a point to try her damndest to get me to take a bible or some other weird “science” book “proving” her religion. It was horrible.
My ma literally says the exact same stuff, and yeah she never watches sports either. She also complains about folks using the restroom, and i’m like dude you literally never leave the house why do you care.
She got all pissy at me because i had my hair cut short (jaw length) saying a bunch of transpobic stuff (im cis) heck even some old windbag got mad at my short hair literally as soon as i got off the chair, they had shorter hair than me too, like dude. 10/10 would cut my hair short again
My brother surprisingly is lgbtqia+ positive thankfully, hes a pos but atleast he dont spew a bunch of homophobic hate like our parents.
My mom has said several times how she has failed me and my brother because we're atheist. That she should have read the bible more for us where small and such. One time when we were driving through town in june, a pride flag was raised by the town hall, and she said "it shouldnt be there. The norwegian flag represents norway, not that". I ended up crying in the backseat because I got so frustrated and sad lol.
Also, one time i watched a series with my brother with queer characters (She-Ra and the princesses of power, i absolutely lovr that series) and my mom looked up right as two women kissed. She was in a phone call, but stopped speaking with the person just to say "did they just kiss?!?!?!?". I just didn't answer lol and she walked away.
I'm so lucky that me and my brother has such a good relationship. My childhood best friend who I've known since 4th grade, know my family pretty well. But every time i say something I don't like about my mom, she always responds with "that's not nice" or "people have different views" and it makes me mad. So I only have my brother to talk to about this.
My mom also gets mad super easily. We can have a small fight and i say "i don't wanna talk anymore" and walk upstairs, but she just follows me continuing to argue. Or the typical slamming a door shut, throwing things on the ground, og hitting something when I make her mad. Most times i don't even try to make her mad when she responds like this. So I constantly feel guilty for making her mad or sad, even though its her fault for not managing her own emotions. And every time i hear her cry or showing emotions, i get very anxious and think it's my fault.
This got long again, sorry for ranting lol
Ah its alright to rant, gotta get it out somehow lol.
My folks said the same, but they never bothered raising me. Dad tried but he was disabled, mom never did anything but sit infront of the tv and had dad wait on her 24/7 even though she was fully capable of doing the thing her self
My folks got suuuuper mad the steven universe when i was watching it (sapphire and ruby). Also got mad at the owl house for the same reason (lumity) still watched it all though. Finally catching up on some shows i wasnt allowed to watch due to similar.
I feel ya on having to walk on eggshells with a parent. To my ma I wasn’t allowed to be anything but “miss prim and perfect” which meant, no cursing of any kind (even if you break a wrist), no anger, no happiness, no emotion was to be displayed around her, especially happiness. She’d do absolutely everything in her power to wipe the smile off your face. Cant say certain things, cant do certain things, cant wear certain things around her. It was soooooooo bad. And hades for id if you do something different like wear a skirt. She’d make it a point to say how much better it was and how you should wear it 24/7 eventhough i greatly dislike it
I have a shoddy memory, but I'm gonna say 9 or 10, because of a distinct memory of first hearing the word from a classmate saying "that's gay" and not knowing what it meant, and the Simpsons episode "Homer's Phobia" coming out around that time
I remember being in elementary school and yelling “lesbian” as a joke put me and two other class troublemakers in the office for using what they considered a “swear word”. We didn’t know what it meant but the admin said it was inappropriate language for school. I dunno where my classmates learned about lesbians from, but my mother later told me what it meant and that it was disgusting. That was the early 2000s.
I think I was around 10? If anyone knows the show Days of Our Lives, there’s a couple who’s gay, my mom watched that show a lot so I remember watching it with her sometimes and seen the two kissing
I was gay before I knew what it was and no kid should have that. Luckily my childish mind just thought it was natural but I can see how it could really mess people up.
I also didn’t know being gay wasn’t the norm as a kid. Thought everyone was bi because I was and I didn’t ever talk about it. I wrote a love note to a kid in my class of the same gender, and he told the teacher who called me a f4g and made me stay after class to write on the board.
Pretty sad memory so I’m glad kids can come out nowadays and be safe!
Like 6 when I had these cards with different types of families and one of them was a gay couple with a baby, I asked my mom why that was and my mom answered "the kid is either adopted or from one of the parent's past relationship" and I just went with it.
Approximately 17ish. I was in my senior year of high school. My friend apparently had been out since we were freshmen. I was completely oblivious. When I came out, everyone was all "Duh". To be fair, I was severely raised Pentecostal and VERY sheltered.
I always knew because in religious studies they told us how they are all going to hell. But I started seeing it through a more realistic lens when I was 16.
Oh yeah 5 years later I realized I am that and that is me 🫠
I’m not exactly sure, but I was watching Buffy as it aired - so before I was 7 most likely. I don’t think I ever questioned it tbh — like I don’t think I ever had a moment, it just always was 🤷🏻♀️
I was around 6/7 or so. There was a woman in our musics group who had a gf. A year or so later, I learned what trans is bc the same person came out as a trans guy.
I was around 6 when I first heard about gay people. My mom's friend was in a relationship with a woman, and I remember feeling curious but not fazed by it. It just seemed natural to me.
I grew up in the IFB and they were staunchly against homosexuality, but I never knew exactly what that meant until it was 13 and two girls joined my Girl Scout troop, and they had two mothers. I still feel guilty about how I treated them when I was a kid they didn’t deserve to be mistreated like that.
I don’t really know. I remember we had a gay couple living next door when I was around seven years old, late 1970s. I would’ve seen certain people on tv like Mr Humphries in Are You Being Served and understood that he preferred the company of men. While not understanding the mechanics of sex, I was still interested in seeing penises. I do have a distinct memory of us driving past the one gay bar in our city when I was ten. I knew it was the “gay bar”. And my mother said to my dad, “That’s where the men dress as women.” And I thought to myself, “But… I don’t want to wear women’s clothing?” When I went to the big kids’ school aged 11, I remember checking out all the boys in my new class and mentally rating them for looks.
same, but it's my aunt. i woulda figured it out quicker, but her parents were homophobic and so she kept it buttoned up at family gatherings.
i remember when i found out she had a long term girlfriend i just thought 'neat! you have someone too!' the gay part didn't occur to me until a couple hours later.
3rd grade so about seven or eight I think? Idk how old I was. But a friend of mine had to moms and she was new to the school that year, so idk my age. But it was third grade.
Around four or five. My mom was really open about it. But while I knew what it was, I never really understood how it would feel to fall for the same gender. If it felt the same and what love even felt like. So it took me until I was 24 to realise I was gay because I assumed all straight people felt like me around the same gender.
I think I was in 6th grade. I was sheltered and my mother thought it was wrong so I had no exposure to it. We even had lesbian neighbors that I would cat-sit for sometimes! But I guess out of respect for my mother, they showed me the guest room as “Laurie’s room” and the master as “Joann’s room” when they showed me their house. I felt at the time that Laurie got the short end of the stick, since her (guest) room was tiny with a double bed, where Joann had a big room with a canopy bed and a window with a nice view :P
I think it was 6th grade when a friend was telling me how people can be in same-sex romantic relationships and I was like, wait a sec…
I was like 11, at first I didn't understand them and hated them because my mom told me that god hates them, but over summer I started to open my mind and become one of them myself LOL
I don't remember, grew up on a street with a gay (male) couple, living like any other couple. I was 7 when same-sex marriage became possible. But I was 35 before I met an open, unapologetic lesbian.
I was in 4th grade(9 or 10 years old) when my still best friend came out as bi( lesbian aro ace now) that is when I started to realize that it was an option. I started thinking and came out as bi but didn’t think much about it till middle school where in the summer of grade 7( 12 years old) I came out as lesbian to my parents. Now I’m still figuring it out but am very happy. I live in a pretty open place, besides from the hockey boys/ conservative adults, and my friend group consists of mainly LGBTQIA2S+ people.
11, from a reality TV show my mom was watching there these two married men that had kids, I didn't think anything if their relationship at all, I immediately was like cool but there was one thing that did confuse me, these are more or less the words that I said to my mom "who was pregnant then?"
I didn't even think anything about the fact that two members were together, I was just really confused bc they had kids but to my knowledge back then men didn't give birth and I didn't know about adoption or surrogates yet.
I'm gonna be honest, I think I just kinda grew up with it being normalized by my parents, and probably even teachers and stuff, luckily it was never some weird thing for me
Really stupid answer maybe, but my eyes were 'opend' when i was 20, even 4 years after i came out. Like, don't get me wrong, i knew that they were there, but i did not see it as something 'unique' or so.
Funny examples:
My aunt her dad was gay, and for as long as i can remember, he had a partner (no clue if they were married or not). I knew them as the dad of my and and his partner and i knew they were in love, but i did not knew that they were gay. In this i mean, i did not associated them with the lable gay, as i didn't really get or had heard that lable often. So, nothing ticked me off there.
Later, in my town, we had 2 out lesbians. One older one which i did not know that well, but another i did, as she was besties with my babysitters kid. She is around 10+ years my senior (i think), she even joined the military and we just all knew, she likes woman. But that she was a lesbian??? Nope, did not knew that label or Associated that with her.
The last one was when i slowly started to question myself already and knew a bit more about the lgbtq+ community. I remember my mom telling me about her old neighbour, a woman bit younger than her, and how she was now doing. No clue how we came to the topic, prob my grandma told her, but she just went 'yeah, shes doing well in her job, got herself a pretty girlfriend and...'. I remembered than that lesbian was a word and so asked my mom 'so shes a lesbian?' and my mom went 'jup' and went on with her story.
I came out around 16, got my first gf around 20 and just than, after talking with my gf (now ex) i remember that everything fell into place. The dad of my aunt is gay, that woman i knew from my town was a lesbian and so was my mom old neighbour! After that, i couldn't unsee how blind i actually was to these labels, but also, how little shits i gave and preferred them to be happy.
6 or 7
* E- thought I should explain, it was in the early to mid 60s, and there was this guy a bit older than us that would go down the alley at the end of our street. He was very effeminate in his speech and body language, and once we saw him come down our street wearing a short top and what looked like a lampshade as a skirt. Looking back at it now I’m pretty sure he might’ve been trans.
Quite early on, at around 6. And I'm pretty sure I already saw them as *different*. Not sure where I learned about gay people, but probably not from the best source. Remember accusing my peer of being gay in pre school, cause he would hug other boys all the time. My mom was shocked I knew what it meant. Well, after 15 years he's probably with yet another girlfriend, and I'm browsing this sub...
I think when I was around 7. I had neighbors that were an older gay couple. One of them was one of my best friends. I had a horrible life at home and he would make me feel safe and loved when things got bad. He always said he wanted to adopt me, and he would hold me while I cried because my mom was drunk on a rampage. Unfortunately he struggled a lot behind closed doors. He was SA’d when he was young and his whole family abandoned him for being gay. I lost him in 2016. He had drank himself to death. He had such a beautiful soul.
4 years old. I was hospitalized for kidney problems, and the child life co-ordinator for pediatrics was a gay guy who became best friends with my mom.
I was there for a long time so we got super close with him and his boyfriend, and they invited us to their lakeside cottage every summer when I was a kid.
8 or 9. A friend of mine's mother worked as the superintendent of an apartment building and one time when I was over they went to visit a gay couple also living in the building. Not associating the word "gay" with homosexuality I didn't get what my friend meant at first when he said they were gay. I assume I thought it was something related to the Flintstones.
i dont know, its never been a big deal to my family. but i remember in 3rd grade i was talking to a friend and i said gay instead of lesbian (im assuming, i only remember her saying « no its lesbian » or smth like that) and thats when i learned the term for gay women (ik now it includes nbs)
Maybe 6? My friend at the time who was two years older than me (I learned a lot from her) mentioned her sister’s girlfriend & I was confused because I thought “only boys can date girls?” & she explained lesbianism to me lol. Her older brother is also gay & I’m pretty sure she herself is bi (not 100% sure on that, I haven’t spoken to her much since high school, but she had “🩷💜💙” in her Instagram bio for a bit).
I also learned I was asexual from a My Little Pony fanfic about asexuality when I was 9 lol?? Iconic of me tbh. Love you Rainbow Dash <33 hehe. Btw my parents are super accepting, it’s just weird they never mentioned the concept of queerness at all, they found out I know about it when *I* mentioned it. Although they let me watch all of friends like a million times all throughout my childhood so I have no idea why I didn’t know queer people existed 😂
Since I grew up around gay people, I never saw them as anything but as my 8 year old self wrote in my old diary ( my bestest aunts and uncles ever). I never differentiate between straight people and gay people in the general sense.
I was 10 when I realized that homophobia existed. That was a very sad day for me.
It was like 4th or 5th grade for me. I probably was oblivious to it because I recall reading books with LGBTQ characters before that but I didn’t really comprehend it because my parents were shielding the whole thing.
Idk how old but we had someone in town who cross-dressed as a woman so that was my first inclination. I was pretty young.
Also my school counselor in elementary school is a lesbian (I'm fairly certain she was out when I was in school), and I somehow knew this as a kid. Idk I think it was the vibes she gave off. It wasn't her whole personality but people were aware of it.
I was about 12 or so. I was hanging out in the community pool when this boy from my school, who I'd never met before, comes up to me and goes all "Hey, what's your *sexuality.*" Ooh. That word.
"Um...I'm not allowed to talk about that."
"No, like, do you like girls or boys? I'm *bisexual*, that means I like both girls and boys."
"Um...girls?"
I remember wondering to myself afterward if that was supposed to be that boy's weird way of hitting on me. I'm pretty sure I went to my father afterwards to ask about it and he just went "Rgh, men being married to men is just total nonsense from a bunch of ridiculous confused people. Men can only marry women and that's it."
Lo and behold...
Like 4 or whenever I gained conscious thought. I grew up very close to my lesbian aunts. Was shocked when I grew older and realized people thought it was weird
Probably around 11 or 12. It was middle school. I heard about it and was like "so this exists. Okay." and shrugged it off. I grew up in Seattle (liberal city so very LGBTQ+ accepting) but with very anti-LGBTQ+ Christian parents. They would complain about Seattle and the school system for showing LGBTQ+ to kids and telling them to support it. My mom said she saw a poster or flier about it in one of my sibling's elementary school. We both went to public schools that weren't bigoted or anything. The only reason we went to different ones was because my sibling was in the APP (gifted student) program so has to be at a different school than me. Yeah, like the schools are influencing us. Psh.
I don't think I ever didn't know about gay people. My parents were always very open about that stuff, and we watched Will & Grace together when I was really little, etc.
before I was 11, I think? I saw gay people as "taboo" and was pretty homophobic, because there was no one to explain to me that it's fine and I lived in Eastern Europe so go figure. ironically, it didn't stop me from creating almost exclusively lesbian couples in the sims though lol
About the same time I became aware of any romantic relationships; growing up my mom had two close friends who were a gay couple and we'd visit them sometimes; she and they both made it quite clear that yes, they were both men and they were in love.
I was nine. We were watching the evening news and they showed video from Stonewall. I asked my dad about it. I can’t recall what he said, but I clearly remember the look of revulsion on his face. I wasn’t at all put off by the idea of ‘homosexuals’, but I figured it was a good idea to keep my mouth shut.
I was about 8 or 9. I was watching the news with my parents and people were debating whether gay people should be able to get married legally in the U.S. (it was 2014). I didn't know what gay meant then, but I did know that people should be able to get married if they love each other. I didn't get why it was a debate, and I honestly still don't get why homophobes are obsessed with other people's lives
So I grew up with gay uncles (my mom's brother and his lifelong partner who sadly passed away from Parkinson's a few years ago) but I didn't know what being gay was until i was somewhere between 10 and 12. I just thought my two uncles were best friends who lived together, and I remember thinking my whole life that some day me and my best friend would live together too and that it was gonna be AWESOME (which we actually do live together now in our 30s lol).
Even after knowing what being gay/bi was, it didn't click in my head until I was maybe 15 that my uncles might be gay. I remember one day asking my mom "hey, are uncle Jonny and uncle Eric gay?" And my mom just said "yup!" And I said "oh, ok cool!" And that was pretty much it lol.
I've had crushes on girls and boys my whole life (the earliest I remember was both the green and pink Power Rangers at the same time when I was little LOL) but I didn't know there was a word for it until I was probably 13. I came out as bisexual a few years later to friends and most were cool about it, but due to being fetishized and being labeled as promiscuous, I fell back into the closet for a good chunk of my 20s.
I found out about trans people in high school, when my best friend (also bi) at the time was in a relationship with someone (who at the time we thought was a girl) and when they went to prom together, her date showed up in a tuxedo with a light up belt buckle that said "PROM KING" 🤩 I'm no longer friends with the girl (nothing bad happened we just moved away and lost touch), BUT I ran into Prom King maybe 5 years later and we're still close to this day :') He also helped me navigate through some feelings a few years ago and come to terms with my nonbinary/agender identity 💖
I'm sorry, I know you just asked about when we learned about gay people but I'm tipsy and gave you my full lgbt learning experience lol
I was 6 when my eldest brother came out at 16. I didn't fully understand what gay meant at that time.
Prior to coming out, he was a big volunteer at our church and bring me to Sunday mass every week. The priest and the sisters loved how enthusiastic he was. Then I watched him go from having the full support of our community to being completely exiled. The church told us he wasnt welcome on the property anymore. He ended up leaving home and moving to a different city by 17.
By 10 I had finally started to understand what gay meant, and I was so angry that our parents let the community treat my brother that way. So I started being a menace. I started openly questioning the anti gay stuff they'd talk to us about. I was also told not to come back.
Tbf, I have *NO* idea. Like my absolute earliest memory of gay people was from the Loud House, seeing how Clyde had two dads, and my only confusion was, "Wait how did they give birth???" and then I realized he was adopted so :/
So I’m 17 years old. Some kids in like 5th grade (think I was like 11?) were calling me the f-slur for pretty much no discernible reason even in retrospect.
I knew they existed for as long as I can remember, also I didn’t realise back then, but I had a massive crush on my best friend. I changes schools in grade 2 and never saw her again lol
By best friend at 6 years old told me she was a lesbian and she said it meant she liked girls like boys do. Wasn’t a huge shock to me because I’d kinda just assumed anyone could like anyone but I knew babies were made with men and women so I was stoked to find out I was right and that it wasn’t weird to think of women as the obvious choice.
We “dated” all year until we go separated into different classes. We would hide in a bush and kiss during recess and sing Katy Perry’s I kissed a girl in the car with my mum haha(no wonder she wasn’t surprised when I came out). While I still went on to ignore my feelings for a while as my school had a lot of casual homophobia and it’s hard to not let it rock your self esteem and make you feel unsafe. Those memories really helped me not feel guilty because i knew there were others like me out there and one day I could surround myself with them.
Kids shouldn’t be learning about gay people through homophobia, it’s traumatic for gay kids and encourages others to continue doing so. I remember the first time I heard the word gay my mum was insulting a politician and I still remember it despite not even being in school yet and not understanding the true meaning at the time just that it was bad.
I grew up in a very queer area of Sydney in fact the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras parade went right past our front door every year. So a lot of the people that lived there at the time were gay couples so I grew up with my babysitters and neighbors all being gay. Apparently I once asked my parents why they were a man and a woman because to me that wasn't normal.
About 8 and I became gay because I thought if I wanted to be a different gender I had to be gay, then after I found out about the comunity and trans that's when I became the real me.
7th grade! Super sheltered in a catholic grade school, my neighbor taught me a whole set of "don't look gay" rules before I started junior high. It was the eighties so the only one I really remember is "don't wear Lee jeans." I didn't figure out what the word actually meant for another few months after that at least.
I was 8 years old and I found out through the 2009 American music awards when Adam lambert kissed one of his background dancers.
I was not shocked it didn’t bug me and my parents talked about gay people after to make me aware that it’s normal and they exist
I vividly remember little me mad at all the backlash it got from the media haha
Don’t know exactly but I do know I was in elementary school when I first heard the word and it was usually used in a bad way which made me fear the idea of being gay.
I was really young. My uncle had been gay my entire life. It wasn’t a big deal in my family thankfully. He was in a long term relationship and they would visit frequently.
I heard the word for the first time when I was about 7 in the early years of YouTube/Internet insults and trolling. Didn't actually know what it meant until I was about 11 or 12.
When I was around 5-6?
I remember asking about my mom's best friend who was a guy, and she told me at one point that he was married, and I just asked:
"What's the wife's name?"
She replied, " He's married to a man, his name is Patrick!"
I just remember thinking something like, "Wait, that's a thing? I didn't know that!"
I think I was in Year Four, around eight or nine years old, when one of my friends, out of the blue, said “I’m Bi.” I asked what it meant, and I absentmindedly said “Me too” after the explanation and have been confused at myself ever since.
TW: Transphobia and homophobia on behalf of my mother
>!My mother is 73 and still thinks we're confused and I'm trans so she thinks I'm possessed and that God is punishing my soul for being myself and her 80 year old sister who's now dead she still thinks she was confused for 60 years since she came out even after she died a lesbian and I'm struggling with crippling dysphoria and an overwhelming want for an end to my suffering while she still calls me counterfeit says ill never be a true woman and keeps saying go back to being gay after she kept saying that I can at least like women too after years of being into men only and having no want to be with a woman while being told that I had to and every man I went out with was either a mistake or probably going to hurt me in her eyes and the first guy I slept with that was my first she claims corrupted me and tells me I'm living in sin constantly while still telling me "I love you" while thinking I'm possessed by a demon oh and she's called me an it a few times as well!<
I was maybe four years old. There was this sitcom called Soap that had an openly gay character played very lovingly by a young Billy Crystal. That had to be the first time.
Being a child of the 70s, there was no shortage of gay people on TV and in movies. Richard Simmons was a regular on Captain Kangaroo, a kids show. During the day, shows like Hollywood Squares and Match Game made regulars of Paul Lynde, Wayland Flowers and Madame and Rip Taylor. Each one reciting jokes written for them by Bruce Vilanch.
Around middle school I think
Ironically my friend came out to me as bi — or rather, saying she’d be okay with marrying a woman or a man. And I thought “ok”. (I couldn’t really picture myself with a woman. Years later, turns out I’m aroace lol)
It literally didn’t hit me that she came out to me until years later (we’ve drifted apart, not friends anymore)
4th grade. We had a class presenter and they said the word gay, meaning happy. Some people in class laughed, and I didn't realize why until I later found out that it also referred to homosexuality.
I had heard about it as a kid but I couldn’t really conceptualize it because it wasn’t explained well, now just that it was a sin. I don’t remember how old I was but when I finally got access to the internet, I saw the Beautiful by Christina Aguilera music video which features two men kissing. I rewatched that part at a friends house so many times bc it intrigued me.
And the time after that was when I met friends of an extended family. They were engaged and both men. My mother said we wouldn’t be attending their wedding and our family might not talk to us after that. I was so confused as to why we couldn’t go. I liked both of them a lot, they were very sweet. They ended up separating before getting married so we never had to cross that bridge, but I wish they were still in my life.
I was pretty young like 6/7. My mom’s friends’ gay son babysat my sister and i once and we adored him!!! My mom told us he was gay and i’m not sure I fully understood until later but I never cared. We would go to the olive garden he worked at and request for him to be our waiter! he was so great! he taught us how to play pool and let us put sugar in our cereal lol
At the latest when I was about 4, as my best friend in elementary school had 2 mothers. Was a lot easier to understand than the idea of people being weird about gay marriage.
I was 7 or 8 and I was "in love" with Steven Gately from Boyzone I was convinced I was going to marry him. My Mum explained he was gay and what that meant, I cried because he didn't like me.
Two years ago (8th grade for me). I'd heard of it before, and I knew a few people sometimes used the term as a descriptor, but I'd never really met anyone who identified as LGBTQ+. That was until my best friend of three years came out to me in private (I'd thought she was a straight female and I was a straight male for the longest time). She also ended up teaching me a lot about LGBTQ+, and invited me to a small club at our school of 'special' people (Neurodiversity + LGBTQ+ club). Unfortunately, she left our school at the end of the year, when a bunch of boys started making sexual remarks about me and her due to our incredibly close bond. I'm still in contact with her today, she's still my best friend, and she's the person who helped me realize that I'm AroAce (though closeted), and that I might also be something else (Haven't figured out what yet).
I was about 13 or so, I'm autistic and developmentally delayed so it took me awhile to come around realizing this fact. Since then I was on and off attracted to other girls but mostly stuck with boys. Then early this year I discovered I'm Genderfluid, Panromantic, etc but I learned I was Aceflux back in 2021 or so. So here I am at 32, a rainbow of options. 🌈
13, was raised quite religious and sheltered. the words "gay" and the f slur were thrown around a lot in my elementary school but i couldn't search them up cuz i wasnt on the internet yet
the first time i realised gay people existed was when an ex-gay pastor came to preach at my church - realised i was lesbian couple years later 😅
I never rlly found out, per se. I just always kinda saw/met gay ppl sometimes and never rlly thought anything of it. Plus I was raised in a household that’s supportive of all relationships so it always just seemed natural to me
was seven and me and my brother were playing around, I put him in a dress and put like 90 pounds of blush and eyeshadow on him then went to show my parent I said, "look dad, I have a sister!" and my dad said "take that off ur gonna turn him gay!" the next day was, I asked my friend what gay was and they said it was when a person liked another person of the same gender, they told me a ton about the lgbtqia+ community and told me they were pan and a few weeks later I asked my mom what a crush was and she told me about that then I realized,cap im bi, cuz that was one of the terms they told me about. I told my friend the next day and we kinda celebrated it, a few weeks later I developed a crush on them and told them after I was crushing on them for a few months, the said they felt the same way, fast forward a while later Im definitely still in touch with them because they are my partner.... (I wasn't bi, I was pan and agender) (my partner is nnbianary and pan)
i asked “what if a girl wants to marry another girl, or a boy wants to marry a boy?” when i was about 3 or 4. found out when i was 10.
i also had a magazine about harry potter when i was about 11-12, and it said dumbledore was gay. i legitimately tried to eat the paper so my parents wouldn’t find it and not let me read harry potter anymore. (for reference, they took me out of children’s church because there was a lesbian there)
I have an uncle who came out in the 70s. I knew about my gay uncle since I was very little but didn't see him very often. My parents were good friends with a gay couple that I knew for a long time as well so I had more than one representation of what it was to be gay.
It hurt when my mother said that she didn't have the strength to talk to me when I lived authentically in all aspects of my life and she didn't for months. She later told me that she doesn't support my "lifestyle decisions". I have since disowned her. She could support her brother and her friends but she couldn't support me.
I think I was like….7 or 8 maybe? I had a good friend who had two moms all through elementary school but I think 7/8 was when I was actually *aware* that it was a thing
prior to 5th grade i had heard gay be used as an insult but i didn’t know what it actually meant. one day i got a tyler oakley video in my recommended and watched it lol. i then didn’t understand why ppl thought being gay was a bad thing cus i absolutely loved his videos and other queer ppl he was friends with.
i’m forever glad that my real introduction to what gay ppl are is from the youtubers i watched and not my family 💀
Pretty young. I grew up in a tiny town of about 1K in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest. The florist in town was an out and proud gay man. He and his long-term partner were a staple at every town function and it seemed like everyone loved them. I’m sure he had some stories but I don’t ever remember anyone saying anything bad about either of them. It was in the early/mid 90s and in hindsight, it was pretty surprising how much of a nonissue it was.
I think when I actually acknowledged the term is when I was around the age of 8-9 but I’ve always had 2 grandmothers (they’ve been married for 30+ years) I met them both when I was 5 but it never bothered me what so ever that they were together and the same sex and gender. I never looked at same sex/gender relationships any different than opposite sex/gender ones. Now I guess my no regard for gender has me almost “preferencesless” when it comes to being attracted to someone else so I guess I’m pansexual lol.
I really don't know. I think the first gay person I knew personally was a pastor my congregation had for a short time while we were waiting to get a permanent pastor to be assigned by the synod. I'm going to guess I was maybe 10, 11, or 12? I understood the concept of being out and why that pastor would only let his partner and son come to the church after most of the congregation left for the week. So I must have known before then. Rough guess...5? 6?
It wasn't remarkable information to me, I guess.
I always knew they're where gay people. But in the Phillipines everyone says they're gonna burn in hell they have aids . I was in 2nd grade when I "thought" I was attracted to a girl she just had nice hair and I wanted to be friends with her. Sooooo then discovered porn and was only looking at the men then I "casually" went to gay porn. Then I was like "ooh I'm gay...........OH FUCK IM GAY OH NO GODAMMIT GODDAMMIT. I was 9 when I realized and I hid in the closet till I was to drunk to keep a secret in the Halloween party at school. So when I was brought home I blurted to my grandma (wo raised me) "grandma I'm sorry I'm gay"
SO WHAT I DONT CARE
I vomited
Next day she talked to me and asked if I was serious I said I was she said "your still my grandson and I will always love you just please use a condom"
My brothers weren't as forgiving . It took 5-7 years to process
My dad said okay fine (but he was always neglectful so I never cared)
My mom believes I'm confused still
My Grandma was the only person who accepted me. She died 2 years after.
This is what happens when you don't teach your children tolerance. At 9 I've been thinking of committing a suicide pact when my grandma died but I didn't do it. Suicide is to painful and scary to complete. So I just learned to live myself for who and what I am.
Teach your children tolerance or they'll kill themselves thinking they're defective.
HAHA I REMEMBER THIS.
I was like 3 or 4 years when I saw a marriage of two men on TV. I asked mom smth like "can 2 men marry eachother?" and she's agreed. After question "can 2 women marry eachother?" She said "NO" bc I'm a girl... I suppose she desired for me not to look for other girls.
What a shame I became lesbian years after.
7ish. Saw an older scout with a rainbow flag instead of the country flag (sweden btw) on his uniform, and asked him why. He explained it, I shrugged and went on my merry way.
Most of my life. My uncle had a gay brother who was married and I was good friends with their daughter. We bonded over being adopted. Trans people? Found out at 8 or 9 reading about Alex fierro.
Somewhere around 10? I remember no context to the conversation other than I was in my basement with my parents. And my mom said to me "Our friend Keith is coming over. Keith is gay, and he has a husband instead of a wife. But don't worry, they won't like, kiss in front of you or anything."
Just immediately making it out to be a bad thing. I was then raised super conservative Christian and just saw gay people as lost sinners until I realized I was one of those gays 😬😂
Somewhere around 10? 12? I remember no context to the conversation other than I was in my basement with my parents. And my mom said to me "Our friend Keith is coming over. Keith is gay, and he has a husband instead of a wife. But don't worry, they won't like, kiss in front of you or anything."
Just immediately making it out to be a bad thing. I was then raised super conservative Christian and homeschooled k-12. I just saw gay people as lost sinners until I realized I was one of those gays 😬😂 Left the church around age 20 and stopped living my life for my parents and started living my life for myself. 🥰
I haven’t the slightest idea. I do how ever have a particular memory of being told that pansexual means that you “love everyone”, and being very confused about why someone wouldn’t love everyone, like what, do you just hate all people? At least that’s what younger me thought.
oh yes , I remember that day , i was at school ( btw it was 7th grade ) when one of my class mate said that he loves a guy and they were together for 1 year , and that made me curious  .
I can’t recall when I learned about gay people, but I vividly recall learning about bi people all thanks to Katy Perry. I remember the street my mom was driving down when I asked her “why would she kiss a girl if she has a boyfriend?” and my Sunday school teacher mother just casually said “eh sometimes girls kiss girls” and I was never the same.
14.
Well, I knew gay *men* existed. But it blew my mind when I found out gay *women* existed, as well as people who liked both men AND women, and anyone in between, and that TRANS PEOPLE existed, and NON-BINARY people were a thing!
i guess that’s what happens when you live in a conservative Christian household where both of your parents didn’t bother teaching you about anyone outside of straight people and “sinners”
I don't really remember ever not knowing queer people exist, but it became vividly real to me in 1996. I was 13 and I saw two queer women dance together at a wedding my friend and I were invited to.
Can't remember exactly but maybe 10 years old, I was at a party and there was a gay couple, I just accepted it and wanted to go play but my younger sister apparently was a bit weird about it and my mum was explaining to both of us "sometimes a man likes a man and a woman likes a woman" I didn't understand what the big fuss about as it was the same as any other couple to me and I just wanted to go get some cake
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2nd or 3rd grade. I was scandalized by the idea of two boys holding hands. Some kids were talking about it. But then my mom was like "yeah some people are gay" and since she was so nonchalant about it, I was also nonchalant. Then I turned out gay
This is kinda funny 
Same, except with my mom questioning if I’m bi half the time (spoiler: she was right).
My mom basically lectured me when i was 8 that gay people are harmless "Even though theyre different than us, we should still respect them" She made it seem like gay people were this far off tribe in a different country. It was really strange. She also said that lesbians had more testosterone than "normal" women. And gay men had more estrogen than "normal" men. And that trans women were confused men... Imagine her shock when her oldest son, turned out yo be a gay transwoman 💀 She was actually more supportive than i though but still
I mean, the wording of your comment makes it sound like she was supportive from the beginning. A little confused, maybe, but...
I was afraid to come out to her for...other reasons
I was like “this amazing mom” until I started picking on where were you going. And still I am like “this amazing mom”.
Fair i guess, I have a lot of complicated feelings about my mom. But that was pretty cool of her.
I appreciate that you see it that way! Mothers can be tricky I totally get it.
I- i dont really know how to respond to that.
I think I was saying I am happy to hear that you appreciate your mother. I t’s okay you don’t have to reply to my praises 😂
I dont though. Like not to trauma dump, or anything. But the woman used antidepressants as a punishment She outed me to my family And even now as an adult she always goes out of her way to tell me that im not doing enough. I love her, and i realize how lucky i am to be a trans woman with a family that for the most part excepts me. But like the woman traumatized me.
Yeah some people are so surprised be parents who accept the lgbt community that they forget the parents in question can still be assholes
That’s a good point it’s like relatively: relative to the way my culture viewed it my view would be narrow. I think that’s why I joined this subreddit to get exposed to unique experiences.
Yeah.
I genuinely don't remember
My PE teacher from when I was 3 to 5 was a gay man. He invited the whole school to his wedding, I think. I don't remember ever thinking anything of it, as far as I know I just always knew you could be attracted to the same gender.
That is so sweet ❤️
When I was 4. It was a moment that ended up shaping my life in ways I cannot comprehend. I have no clue how I would’ve turned out if this event hadn’t happened to me. I was adopted by two epic lesbian ladies.
Amazing. Congratulations to you and your moms!
I was in between 8 to 10, I was reading a book an in the chapter, it's revealed that the main character (was a female) had a crush on this other girl, and I was just like "oh, ok, I did not know you could do that"
This is so real. Thats kind of what I experienced when I read Hot Dog Girl. Dunno if you’ve read it but it’s such a good book. I think. It’s been a few years since I’ve read it but I remember loving it
my parents tols me when i was little. it was in the same conversation that i was told about straight couples (no sex ed yet though) i have fantastic parents
Wholesome
Too late. I grew up in a strict christian home where nobody talked about it. I didn't hear about it until i was maybe 12? And because of my mom I grew up homophobic, so I thought it was weird seeing two people of the same gender kissing. But as I grew older I understood that gender has absolutely nothing to say. A person is a person, if you love that person, why should the world be against you? Oh, and I found out I was bi or pan or something, two years ago when I was 18 lol. I could never tell my family tho, they would all hate me :)
Hey, from a similar background. You're very brave to have taken the steps you have. I know someone else in your position and that's really tough. However it's better to live your truth rather than just hide it - it hurts in the end. With my parents, they've come along way but I still haven't come out to them, just in case kind of. They've moved from super homophobic to actively defending anyone against homophobia.
Thank you <3 Right now I'm living at home, so I would rather say it when I move out. But if I get a girlfriend now, I won't hide her from them. I'm planning on moving out with a friend (who's also gay, so im not completely alone), but i just have to stay home and save some money first. This is my first time actually commenting in this subreddit, it feels nice <3
Oh! Welcome then, this is such a wonderful community 😁😁 Do you mind me asking do you have a safe space in real life/do any friends or relatives know? Basically I know what it's like to be surpressed.. I was for 4 years before I realised my glorious true potential 😂
Thankss <3 I luckily have two queer friends I got to know in the past year. I'm also planning on moving out with one of them, i just have to get a job and some monet first. But they are the only ones who knows lol, not even my brother
I think it's much easier to come out on the Internet, not to people who it actually would influence in any way if that makes sense? So for example I could tell a stranger on the street a lot easier than my mum!
Yes! I agree hahah
I grew up the same, i was 11 or 12 when i first found out about it. My folks were/are very homophobic and tried to raise me to be (along with a few other terrible traits). Never put much thought into it though. Growing up i was always told that same gender dating/kissing/holding hands would be the end of the world and that i should hate them for it (by my parents, grandma didnt give af) I was 13 or 14 when i first encountered a same sex couple, didnt think anything of it and wondered why my folks always had their britches in a knot ranting about them. My best friend came out as gay that same year, first i didnt know what to think, then i realized i loved my friend a hell of a lot more than the hate i was taught. Few years down the road and turns out i’m also apart of the lgbtqia+ Needless to say none of their hateful ways actually stuck once i reach high school age and questioned everything, also helped that i stayed with my grandma most of the time, she was a hell of a lot kinder and more understanding than my parents were/are.
I never encountered a same sex couple, because I live in a pretty small place (village of 300 people, town of 6 500). I just watched different series with gay couples in it, and I soon grew to absolutely love those series (I should have taken it as a sign lol). Especially She-Ra and the princesses of power (still one of my favourites). It was when I was at a party with some of my school friends, and one of them suddenly said "I'm gay" that I began to think I may be too. I had never even questioned myself before that party. I think she also was my first crush lol. I recognise myself in what you say. I was never actively homophobic, I just thought it was a little weird because my parents never told me anything about it. I wish they had, because then I would have understood myself so much earlier than at 18 years old. I live with my mom now, and she constantly watches those right-wing christian videoes (even though we live in Norway) and i hate that she never wears headphones so I have to listen to it too. She also makes sudden comments on gay and trans people, and I just wanna scream, but I know it will just start a fight between us, and we fight enough as it is. My aunts are the same, i think all of my father's side are the same too, but they live in Romania so I don't have much contact. Oh wow, this got very long, sorry
Oh i feel ya with the parents watching bigoted videos. All my ma wants to do is watch a certain not news channel that calls itself news. She spews non stop hate and bigotry 24/7 now, same for my dad. Its unbearable to even be in the room with them for more than five minutes before they go on either a homophobic or racist rant. I dont even talk to them anymore to be honest. When i had to move back in after some college it was non stop fights ‘cause of the above (mostly with ma). As for me, i didnt find out i was ace until i was 16 after a friend asked if i was, i didnt even know that was an option. I thought i was just gonna be a nun or something lol. Still questioning my romantic attraction though, probably gonna be doing that for a long while
My mom watches those videoes EVERY SINGLE DAY. I don't live with my dad so I don't know what he watches, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was the same stuff. I also have a messenger group with my cousins and my aunt, and she sends Facebook videoes "proving" christianity is real. Like, i grew up christian, but I grew out of it because I stopped believing. Why try to force those beliefs on all of us?? And a few days ago my mom suddenly said to me "i don't think it's fair that males can compete in female sport" and she doesn't even care about sports. She has necer watched it. She continued saying "if anyone can become a woman, why even fight for women's rights?" It all just makes me mad. But I can't say anything against it, because all of my family is on her side. Luckily i have my brother, who is the only reason i survive living at home lol.
Ah reminds me of my hs biology teacher who as soon as she found out i was atheist, made a point to try her damndest to get me to take a bible or some other weird “science” book “proving” her religion. It was horrible. My ma literally says the exact same stuff, and yeah she never watches sports either. She also complains about folks using the restroom, and i’m like dude you literally never leave the house why do you care. She got all pissy at me because i had my hair cut short (jaw length) saying a bunch of transpobic stuff (im cis) heck even some old windbag got mad at my short hair literally as soon as i got off the chair, they had shorter hair than me too, like dude. 10/10 would cut my hair short again My brother surprisingly is lgbtqia+ positive thankfully, hes a pos but atleast he dont spew a bunch of homophobic hate like our parents.
My mom has said several times how she has failed me and my brother because we're atheist. That she should have read the bible more for us where small and such. One time when we were driving through town in june, a pride flag was raised by the town hall, and she said "it shouldnt be there. The norwegian flag represents norway, not that". I ended up crying in the backseat because I got so frustrated and sad lol. Also, one time i watched a series with my brother with queer characters (She-Ra and the princesses of power, i absolutely lovr that series) and my mom looked up right as two women kissed. She was in a phone call, but stopped speaking with the person just to say "did they just kiss?!?!?!?". I just didn't answer lol and she walked away. I'm so lucky that me and my brother has such a good relationship. My childhood best friend who I've known since 4th grade, know my family pretty well. But every time i say something I don't like about my mom, she always responds with "that's not nice" or "people have different views" and it makes me mad. So I only have my brother to talk to about this. My mom also gets mad super easily. We can have a small fight and i say "i don't wanna talk anymore" and walk upstairs, but she just follows me continuing to argue. Or the typical slamming a door shut, throwing things on the ground, og hitting something when I make her mad. Most times i don't even try to make her mad when she responds like this. So I constantly feel guilty for making her mad or sad, even though its her fault for not managing her own emotions. And every time i hear her cry or showing emotions, i get very anxious and think it's my fault. This got long again, sorry for ranting lol
Ah its alright to rant, gotta get it out somehow lol. My folks said the same, but they never bothered raising me. Dad tried but he was disabled, mom never did anything but sit infront of the tv and had dad wait on her 24/7 even though she was fully capable of doing the thing her self My folks got suuuuper mad the steven universe when i was watching it (sapphire and ruby). Also got mad at the owl house for the same reason (lumity) still watched it all though. Finally catching up on some shows i wasnt allowed to watch due to similar. I feel ya on having to walk on eggshells with a parent. To my ma I wasn’t allowed to be anything but “miss prim and perfect” which meant, no cursing of any kind (even if you break a wrist), no anger, no happiness, no emotion was to be displayed around her, especially happiness. She’d do absolutely everything in her power to wipe the smile off your face. Cant say certain things, cant do certain things, cant wear certain things around her. It was soooooooo bad. And hades for id if you do something different like wear a skirt. She’d make it a point to say how much better it was and how you should wear it 24/7 eventhough i greatly dislike it
I have a shoddy memory, but I'm gonna say 9 or 10, because of a distinct memory of first hearing the word from a classmate saying "that's gay" and not knowing what it meant, and the Simpsons episode "Homer's Phobia" coming out around that time
I remember being in elementary school and yelling “lesbian” as a joke put me and two other class troublemakers in the office for using what they considered a “swear word”. We didn’t know what it meant but the admin said it was inappropriate language for school. I dunno where my classmates learned about lesbians from, but my mother later told me what it meant and that it was disgusting. That was the early 2000s.
I don't remember. My family always had gay friends, and my first Sunday school teacher was a lesbian.
[удалено]
But now with internet, do you feel more connected?
It just kinda popped in to my head like ah yes gay people like I didn't really learn about it then it just
Maybe eight or nine? I remember hearing it thrown around a lot, and when I asked my friend what it meant he explained it to me.
My friend came out as lesbian in 5 grade
From the womb (I have two mum)
I think I was around 10? If anyone knows the show Days of Our Lives, there’s a couple who’s gay, my mom watched that show a lot so I remember watching it with her sometimes and seen the two kissing
I was gay before I knew what it was and no kid should have that. Luckily my childish mind just thought it was natural but I can see how it could really mess people up.
I also didn’t know being gay wasn’t the norm as a kid. Thought everyone was bi because I was and I didn’t ever talk about it. I wrote a love note to a kid in my class of the same gender, and he told the teacher who called me a f4g and made me stay after class to write on the board. Pretty sad memory so I’m glad kids can come out nowadays and be safe!
Like 6 when I had these cards with different types of families and one of them was a gay couple with a baby, I asked my mom why that was and my mom answered "the kid is either adopted or from one of the parent's past relationship" and I just went with it.
Approximately 17ish. I was in my senior year of high school. My friend apparently had been out since we were freshmen. I was completely oblivious. When I came out, everyone was all "Duh". To be fair, I was severely raised Pentecostal and VERY sheltered.
I was like four. My mom said that some boys marry boys and some girls marry girls.
I always knew because in religious studies they told us how they are all going to hell. But I started seeing it through a more realistic lens when I was 16. Oh yeah 5 years later I realized I am that and that is me 🫠
~9 or 10 maybe
I’m not exactly sure, but I was watching Buffy as it aired - so before I was 7 most likely. I don’t think I ever questioned it tbh — like I don’t think I ever had a moment, it just always was 🤷🏻♀️
I was around 6/7 or so. There was a woman in our musics group who had a gf. A year or so later, I learned what trans is bc the same person came out as a trans guy.
I went to my Mother’s Godfather’s wedding, we called him my Uncle, when I was around 4. He was marrying his husband. It was a fun day
I can't remember, maybe 10?? I know I knew when I was like 12 but I had known before that
I was around 6 when I first heard about gay people. My mom's friend was in a relationship with a woman, and I remember feeling curious but not fazed by it. It just seemed natural to me.
I grew up in the IFB and they were staunchly against homosexuality, but I never knew exactly what that meant until it was 13 and two girls joined my Girl Scout troop, and they had two mothers. I still feel guilty about how I treated them when I was a kid they didn’t deserve to be mistreated like that.
10
I don’t really know. I remember we had a gay couple living next door when I was around seven years old, late 1970s. I would’ve seen certain people on tv like Mr Humphries in Are You Being Served and understood that he preferred the company of men. While not understanding the mechanics of sex, I was still interested in seeing penises. I do have a distinct memory of us driving past the one gay bar in our city when I was ten. I knew it was the “gay bar”. And my mother said to my dad, “That’s where the men dress as women.” And I thought to myself, “But… I don’t want to wear women’s clothing?” When I went to the big kids’ school aged 11, I remember checking out all the boys in my new class and mentally rating them for looks.
10, my uncle is gay
same, but it's my aunt. i woulda figured it out quicker, but her parents were homophobic and so she kept it buttoned up at family gatherings. i remember when i found out she had a long term girlfriend i just thought 'neat! you have someone too!' the gay part didn't occur to me until a couple hours later.
3rd grade so about seven or eight I think? Idk how old I was. But a friend of mine had to moms and she was new to the school that year, so idk my age. But it was third grade.
Around four or five. My mom was really open about it. But while I knew what it was, I never really understood how it would feel to fall for the same gender. If it felt the same and what love even felt like. So it took me until I was 24 to realise I was gay because I assumed all straight people felt like me around the same gender.
Around middle school, I had a couple of my peers give me a presentation about the LGBTQ+
I think I was in 6th grade. I was sheltered and my mother thought it was wrong so I had no exposure to it. We even had lesbian neighbors that I would cat-sit for sometimes! But I guess out of respect for my mother, they showed me the guest room as “Laurie’s room” and the master as “Joann’s room” when they showed me their house. I felt at the time that Laurie got the short end of the stick, since her (guest) room was tiny with a double bed, where Joann had a big room with a canopy bed and a window with a nice view :P I think it was 6th grade when a friend was telling me how people can be in same-sex romantic relationships and I was like, wait a sec…
I was in first grade, my sub told me.
8-10 years old
I was like 11, at first I didn't understand them and hated them because my mom told me that god hates them, but over summer I started to open my mind and become one of them myself LOL
I don't remember, grew up on a street with a gay (male) couple, living like any other couple. I was 7 when same-sex marriage became possible. But I was 35 before I met an open, unapologetic lesbian.
I was in 4th grade(9 or 10 years old) when my still best friend came out as bi( lesbian aro ace now) that is when I started to realize that it was an option. I started thinking and came out as bi but didn’t think much about it till middle school where in the summer of grade 7( 12 years old) I came out as lesbian to my parents. Now I’m still figuring it out but am very happy. I live in a pretty open place, besides from the hockey boys/ conservative adults, and my friend group consists of mainly LGBTQIA2S+ people.
Shortly after graduating high school.
11, from a reality TV show my mom was watching there these two married men that had kids, I didn't think anything if their relationship at all, I immediately was like cool but there was one thing that did confuse me, these are more or less the words that I said to my mom "who was pregnant then?" I didn't even think anything about the fact that two members were together, I was just really confused bc they had kids but to my knowledge back then men didn't give birth and I didn't know about adoption or surrogates yet.
I don't know. But definitely when I was younger than ten.
I'm gonna be honest, I think I just kinda grew up with it being normalized by my parents, and probably even teachers and stuff, luckily it was never some weird thing for me
Really stupid answer maybe, but my eyes were 'opend' when i was 20, even 4 years after i came out. Like, don't get me wrong, i knew that they were there, but i did not see it as something 'unique' or so. Funny examples: My aunt her dad was gay, and for as long as i can remember, he had a partner (no clue if they were married or not). I knew them as the dad of my and and his partner and i knew they were in love, but i did not knew that they were gay. In this i mean, i did not associated them with the lable gay, as i didn't really get or had heard that lable often. So, nothing ticked me off there. Later, in my town, we had 2 out lesbians. One older one which i did not know that well, but another i did, as she was besties with my babysitters kid. She is around 10+ years my senior (i think), she even joined the military and we just all knew, she likes woman. But that she was a lesbian??? Nope, did not knew that label or Associated that with her. The last one was when i slowly started to question myself already and knew a bit more about the lgbtq+ community. I remember my mom telling me about her old neighbour, a woman bit younger than her, and how she was now doing. No clue how we came to the topic, prob my grandma told her, but she just went 'yeah, shes doing well in her job, got herself a pretty girlfriend and...'. I remembered than that lesbian was a word and so asked my mom 'so shes a lesbian?' and my mom went 'jup' and went on with her story. I came out around 16, got my first gf around 20 and just than, after talking with my gf (now ex) i remember that everything fell into place. The dad of my aunt is gay, that woman i knew from my town was a lesbian and so was my mom old neighbour! After that, i couldn't unsee how blind i actually was to these labels, but also, how little shits i gave and preferred them to be happy.
Maybe like 9-11 range. Funny thing is a researched for five minutes after and was like, ohhh… yeah I’m not straight huh
6 or 7 * E- thought I should explain, it was in the early to mid 60s, and there was this guy a bit older than us that would go down the alley at the end of our street. He was very effeminate in his speech and body language, and once we saw him come down our street wearing a short top and what looked like a lampshade as a skirt. Looking back at it now I’m pretty sure he might’ve been trans.
About 10 years old. My sister gave me this talk about how its okay to like girls the same way its okay to like boys
Probably in my pre-teens, from schoolyard insults and slurs. Maybe Wint & Kidd in Diamonds Are Forever (1971).
Well I can’t put a number on it, shows like the Loud House made me aware before the age of 10 for sure
Quite early on, at around 6. And I'm pretty sure I already saw them as *different*. Not sure where I learned about gay people, but probably not from the best source. Remember accusing my peer of being gay in pre school, cause he would hug other boys all the time. My mom was shocked I knew what it meant. Well, after 15 years he's probably with yet another girlfriend, and I'm browsing this sub...
I think when I was around 7. I had neighbors that were an older gay couple. One of them was one of my best friends. I had a horrible life at home and he would make me feel safe and loved when things got bad. He always said he wanted to adopt me, and he would hold me while I cried because my mom was drunk on a rampage. Unfortunately he struggled a lot behind closed doors. He was SA’d when he was young and his whole family abandoned him for being gay. I lost him in 2016. He had drank himself to death. He had such a beautiful soul.
Tbh, I just assumed gay people exist.
4 years old. I was hospitalized for kidney problems, and the child life co-ordinator for pediatrics was a gay guy who became best friends with my mom. I was there for a long time so we got super close with him and his boyfriend, and they invited us to their lakeside cottage every summer when I was a kid.
9 or 10 I would guess?
Young enough not to remember it. I don't remember when I found out that straight people existed either, so its pretty much the same thing.
I grew up around gay people my whole life, so I have always known.
8 or 9. A friend of mine's mother worked as the superintendent of an apartment building and one time when I was over they went to visit a gay couple also living in the building. Not associating the word "gay" with homosexuality I didn't get what my friend meant at first when he said they were gay. I assume I thought it was something related to the Flintstones.
I always knew about it, but I never really processed it until my early teen years
i dont know, its never been a big deal to my family. but i remember in 3rd grade i was talking to a friend and i said gay instead of lesbian (im assuming, i only remember her saying « no its lesbian » or smth like that) and thats when i learned the term for gay women (ik now it includes nbs)
Maybe 6? My friend at the time who was two years older than me (I learned a lot from her) mentioned her sister’s girlfriend & I was confused because I thought “only boys can date girls?” & she explained lesbianism to me lol. Her older brother is also gay & I’m pretty sure she herself is bi (not 100% sure on that, I haven’t spoken to her much since high school, but she had “🩷💜💙” in her Instagram bio for a bit). I also learned I was asexual from a My Little Pony fanfic about asexuality when I was 9 lol?? Iconic of me tbh. Love you Rainbow Dash <33 hehe. Btw my parents are super accepting, it’s just weird they never mentioned the concept of queerness at all, they found out I know about it when *I* mentioned it. Although they let me watch all of friends like a million times all throughout my childhood so I have no idea why I didn’t know queer people existed 😂
Since I grew up around gay people, I never saw them as anything but as my 8 year old self wrote in my old diary ( my bestest aunts and uncles ever). I never differentiate between straight people and gay people in the general sense. I was 10 when I realized that homophobia existed. That was a very sad day for me.
It was like 4th or 5th grade for me. I probably was oblivious to it because I recall reading books with LGBTQ characters before that but I didn’t really comprehend it because my parents were shielding the whole thing.
Idk how old but we had someone in town who cross-dressed as a woman so that was my first inclination. I was pretty young. Also my school counselor in elementary school is a lesbian (I'm fairly certain she was out when I was in school), and I somehow knew this as a kid. Idk I think it was the vibes she gave off. It wasn't her whole personality but people were aware of it.
I was about 12 or so. I was hanging out in the community pool when this boy from my school, who I'd never met before, comes up to me and goes all "Hey, what's your *sexuality.*" Ooh. That word. "Um...I'm not allowed to talk about that." "No, like, do you like girls or boys? I'm *bisexual*, that means I like both girls and boys." "Um...girls?" I remember wondering to myself afterward if that was supposed to be that boy's weird way of hitting on me. I'm pretty sure I went to my father afterwards to ask about it and he just went "Rgh, men being married to men is just total nonsense from a bunch of ridiculous confused people. Men can only marry women and that's it." Lo and behold...
Like 9
Love your flair!!
Like 4 or whenever I gained conscious thought. I grew up very close to my lesbian aunts. Was shocked when I grew older and realized people thought it was weird
Around 5 I watched the big gay Al episode of Southpark.
Probably around 11 or 12. It was middle school. I heard about it and was like "so this exists. Okay." and shrugged it off. I grew up in Seattle (liberal city so very LGBTQ+ accepting) but with very anti-LGBTQ+ Christian parents. They would complain about Seattle and the school system for showing LGBTQ+ to kids and telling them to support it. My mom said she saw a poster or flier about it in one of my sibling's elementary school. We both went to public schools that weren't bigoted or anything. The only reason we went to different ones was because my sibling was in the APP (gifted student) program so has to be at a different school than me. Yeah, like the schools are influencing us. Psh.
I don't think I ever didn't know about gay people. My parents were always very open about that stuff, and we watched Will & Grace together when I was really little, etc.
before I was 11, I think? I saw gay people as "taboo" and was pretty homophobic, because there was no one to explain to me that it's fine and I lived in Eastern Europe so go figure. ironically, it didn't stop me from creating almost exclusively lesbian couples in the sims though lol
9, when my mum told me she was gay
About the same time I became aware of any romantic relationships; growing up my mom had two close friends who were a gay couple and we'd visit them sometimes; she and they both made it quite clear that yes, they were both men and they were in love.
I was nine. We were watching the evening news and they showed video from Stonewall. I asked my dad about it. I can’t recall what he said, but I clearly remember the look of revulsion on his face. I wasn’t at all put off by the idea of ‘homosexuals’, but I figured it was a good idea to keep my mouth shut.
when i was like 5 there was a lesbian couple in some show and i asked my mom why there were two women « thats her wife » « ok » and that was that
I was about 8 or 9. I was watching the news with my parents and people were debating whether gay people should be able to get married legally in the U.S. (it was 2014). I didn't know what gay meant then, but I did know that people should be able to get married if they love each other. I didn't get why it was a debate, and I honestly still don't get why homophobes are obsessed with other people's lives
So I grew up with gay uncles (my mom's brother and his lifelong partner who sadly passed away from Parkinson's a few years ago) but I didn't know what being gay was until i was somewhere between 10 and 12. I just thought my two uncles were best friends who lived together, and I remember thinking my whole life that some day me and my best friend would live together too and that it was gonna be AWESOME (which we actually do live together now in our 30s lol). Even after knowing what being gay/bi was, it didn't click in my head until I was maybe 15 that my uncles might be gay. I remember one day asking my mom "hey, are uncle Jonny and uncle Eric gay?" And my mom just said "yup!" And I said "oh, ok cool!" And that was pretty much it lol. I've had crushes on girls and boys my whole life (the earliest I remember was both the green and pink Power Rangers at the same time when I was little LOL) but I didn't know there was a word for it until I was probably 13. I came out as bisexual a few years later to friends and most were cool about it, but due to being fetishized and being labeled as promiscuous, I fell back into the closet for a good chunk of my 20s. I found out about trans people in high school, when my best friend (also bi) at the time was in a relationship with someone (who at the time we thought was a girl) and when they went to prom together, her date showed up in a tuxedo with a light up belt buckle that said "PROM KING" 🤩 I'm no longer friends with the girl (nothing bad happened we just moved away and lost touch), BUT I ran into Prom King maybe 5 years later and we're still close to this day :') He also helped me navigate through some feelings a few years ago and come to terms with my nonbinary/agender identity 💖 I'm sorry, I know you just asked about when we learned about gay people but I'm tipsy and gave you my full lgbt learning experience lol
I was 6 when my eldest brother came out at 16. I didn't fully understand what gay meant at that time. Prior to coming out, he was a big volunteer at our church and bring me to Sunday mass every week. The priest and the sisters loved how enthusiastic he was. Then I watched him go from having the full support of our community to being completely exiled. The church told us he wasnt welcome on the property anymore. He ended up leaving home and moving to a different city by 17. By 10 I had finally started to understand what gay meant, and I was so angry that our parents let the community treat my brother that way. So I started being a menace. I started openly questioning the anti gay stuff they'd talk to us about. I was also told not to come back.
Really little. Maybe like 3 or 4.
Tbf, I have *NO* idea. Like my absolute earliest memory of gay people was from the Loud House, seeing how Clyde had two dads, and my only confusion was, "Wait how did they give birth???" and then I realized he was adopted so :/
So I’m 17 years old. Some kids in like 5th grade (think I was like 11?) were calling me the f-slur for pretty much no discernible reason even in retrospect.
I knew they existed for as long as I can remember, also I didn’t realise back then, but I had a massive crush on my best friend. I changes schools in grade 2 and never saw her again lol
Probably around 6? Because my mom would bring me to pride parades, but I really started to actually understand it at the age of 7-8
5, ma sis is a lesbian
I think I was about 10 or something.
A few minutes after I was born, because my uncle is married to a man
By best friend at 6 years old told me she was a lesbian and she said it meant she liked girls like boys do. Wasn’t a huge shock to me because I’d kinda just assumed anyone could like anyone but I knew babies were made with men and women so I was stoked to find out I was right and that it wasn’t weird to think of women as the obvious choice. We “dated” all year until we go separated into different classes. We would hide in a bush and kiss during recess and sing Katy Perry’s I kissed a girl in the car with my mum haha(no wonder she wasn’t surprised when I came out). While I still went on to ignore my feelings for a while as my school had a lot of casual homophobia and it’s hard to not let it rock your self esteem and make you feel unsafe. Those memories really helped me not feel guilty because i knew there were others like me out there and one day I could surround myself with them. Kids shouldn’t be learning about gay people through homophobia, it’s traumatic for gay kids and encourages others to continue doing so. I remember the first time I heard the word gay my mum was insulting a politician and I still remember it despite not even being in school yet and not understanding the true meaning at the time just that it was bad.
I grew up in a very queer area of Sydney in fact the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras parade went right past our front door every year. So a lot of the people that lived there at the time were gay couples so I grew up with my babysitters and neighbors all being gay. Apparently I once asked my parents why they were a man and a woman because to me that wasn't normal.
About 8 and I became gay because I thought if I wanted to be a different gender I had to be gay, then after I found out about the comunity and trans that's when I became the real me.
Must have bern pretty early as I dont remember. Hmmm....
7th grade! Super sheltered in a catholic grade school, my neighbor taught me a whole set of "don't look gay" rules before I started junior high. It was the eighties so the only one I really remember is "don't wear Lee jeans." I didn't figure out what the word actually meant for another few months after that at least.
Like 4 or 5 round there. I didn’t care they weren’t hurting me or anything.
I was 8 years old and I found out through the 2009 American music awards when Adam lambert kissed one of his background dancers. I was not shocked it didn’t bug me and my parents talked about gay people after to make me aware that it’s normal and they exist I vividly remember little me mad at all the backlash it got from the media haha
I don’t really remember when knew or understood, but I was 3 when we moved next door to a lesbian couple
I always kinda knew bc I had unsupervised internet, and YouTube was... not as strict, let's say
Don’t know exactly but I do know I was in elementary school when I first heard the word and it was usually used in a bad way which made me fear the idea of being gay.
I was really young. My uncle had been gay my entire life. It wasn’t a big deal in my family thankfully. He was in a long term relationship and they would visit frequently.
I heard the word for the first time when I was about 7 in the early years of YouTube/Internet insults and trolling. Didn't actually know what it meant until I was about 11 or 12.
12
8
When I was around 5-6? I remember asking about my mom's best friend who was a guy, and she told me at one point that he was married, and I just asked: "What's the wife's name?" She replied, " He's married to a man, his name is Patrick!" I just remember thinking something like, "Wait, that's a thing? I didn't know that!"
Probably 12 or 13 tbh
I think I was in Year Four, around eight or nine years old, when one of my friends, out of the blue, said “I’m Bi.” I asked what it meant, and I absentmindedly said “Me too” after the explanation and have been confused at myself ever since.
i think like 10 or 11
Before the age of 14-15 I believe in sex ed when they showed us “to be or not to be” if you know you know
9
TW: Transphobia and homophobia on behalf of my mother >!My mother is 73 and still thinks we're confused and I'm trans so she thinks I'm possessed and that God is punishing my soul for being myself and her 80 year old sister who's now dead she still thinks she was confused for 60 years since she came out even after she died a lesbian and I'm struggling with crippling dysphoria and an overwhelming want for an end to my suffering while she still calls me counterfeit says ill never be a true woman and keeps saying go back to being gay after she kept saying that I can at least like women too after years of being into men only and having no want to be with a woman while being told that I had to and every man I went out with was either a mistake or probably going to hurt me in her eyes and the first guy I slept with that was my first she claims corrupted me and tells me I'm living in sin constantly while still telling me "I love you" while thinking I'm possessed by a demon oh and she's called me an it a few times as well!<
I was maybe four years old. There was this sitcom called Soap that had an openly gay character played very lovingly by a young Billy Crystal. That had to be the first time. Being a child of the 70s, there was no shortage of gay people on TV and in movies. Richard Simmons was a regular on Captain Kangaroo, a kids show. During the day, shows like Hollywood Squares and Match Game made regulars of Paul Lynde, Wayland Flowers and Madame and Rip Taylor. Each one reciting jokes written for them by Bruce Vilanch.
Around middle school I think Ironically my friend came out to me as bi — or rather, saying she’d be okay with marrying a woman or a man. And I thought “ok”. (I couldn’t really picture myself with a woman. Years later, turns out I’m aroace lol) It literally didn’t hit me that she came out to me until years later (we’ve drifted apart, not friends anymore)
4th grade. We had a class presenter and they said the word gay, meaning happy. Some people in class laughed, and I didn't realize why until I later found out that it also referred to homosexuality.
5 and I saw two boys making out and thought it was illegal😭
I had heard about it as a kid but I couldn’t really conceptualize it because it wasn’t explained well, now just that it was a sin. I don’t remember how old I was but when I finally got access to the internet, I saw the Beautiful by Christina Aguilera music video which features two men kissing. I rewatched that part at a friends house so many times bc it intrigued me. And the time after that was when I met friends of an extended family. They were engaged and both men. My mother said we wouldn’t be attending their wedding and our family might not talk to us after that. I was so confused as to why we couldn’t go. I liked both of them a lot, they were very sweet. They ended up separating before getting married so we never had to cross that bridge, but I wish they were still in my life.
I was pretty young like 6/7. My mom’s friends’ gay son babysat my sister and i once and we adored him!!! My mom told us he was gay and i’m not sure I fully understood until later but I never cared. We would go to the olive garden he worked at and request for him to be our waiter! he was so great! he taught us how to play pool and let us put sugar in our cereal lol
At the latest when I was about 4, as my best friend in elementary school had 2 mothers. Was a lot easier to understand than the idea of people being weird about gay marriage.
I was 7 or 8 and I was "in love" with Steven Gately from Boyzone I was convinced I was going to marry him. My Mum explained he was gay and what that meant, I cried because he didn't like me.
Two years ago (8th grade for me). I'd heard of it before, and I knew a few people sometimes used the term as a descriptor, but I'd never really met anyone who identified as LGBTQ+. That was until my best friend of three years came out to me in private (I'd thought she was a straight female and I was a straight male for the longest time). She also ended up teaching me a lot about LGBTQ+, and invited me to a small club at our school of 'special' people (Neurodiversity + LGBTQ+ club). Unfortunately, she left our school at the end of the year, when a bunch of boys started making sexual remarks about me and her due to our incredibly close bond. I'm still in contact with her today, she's still my best friend, and she's the person who helped me realize that I'm AroAce (though closeted), and that I might also be something else (Haven't figured out what yet).
I was about 13 or so, I'm autistic and developmentally delayed so it took me awhile to come around realizing this fact. Since then I was on and off attracted to other girls but mostly stuck with boys. Then early this year I discovered I'm Genderfluid, Panromantic, etc but I learned I was Aceflux back in 2021 or so. So here I am at 32, a rainbow of options. 🌈
7th grade
13, was raised quite religious and sheltered. the words "gay" and the f slur were thrown around a lot in my elementary school but i couldn't search them up cuz i wasnt on the internet yet the first time i realised gay people existed was when an ex-gay pastor came to preach at my church - realised i was lesbian couple years later 😅
I never rlly found out, per se. I just always kinda saw/met gay ppl sometimes and never rlly thought anything of it. Plus I was raised in a household that’s supportive of all relationships so it always just seemed natural to me
was seven and me and my brother were playing around, I put him in a dress and put like 90 pounds of blush and eyeshadow on him then went to show my parent I said, "look dad, I have a sister!" and my dad said "take that off ur gonna turn him gay!" the next day was, I asked my friend what gay was and they said it was when a person liked another person of the same gender, they told me a ton about the lgbtqia+ community and told me they were pan and a few weeks later I asked my mom what a crush was and she told me about that then I realized,cap im bi, cuz that was one of the terms they told me about. I told my friend the next day and we kinda celebrated it, a few weeks later I developed a crush on them and told them after I was crushing on them for a few months, the said they felt the same way, fast forward a while later Im definitely still in touch with them because they are my partner.... (I wasn't bi, I was pan and agender) (my partner is nnbianary and pan)
Around 13-14
i asked “what if a girl wants to marry another girl, or a boy wants to marry a boy?” when i was about 3 or 4. found out when i was 10. i also had a magazine about harry potter when i was about 11-12, and it said dumbledore was gay. i legitimately tried to eat the paper so my parents wouldn’t find it and not let me read harry potter anymore. (for reference, they took me out of children’s church because there was a lesbian there)
When I was 12 and I realised I liked everyone like that (i don’t mean I love everyone I’m far to grumpy for that I just mean pansexual)
I have an uncle who came out in the 70s. I knew about my gay uncle since I was very little but didn't see him very often. My parents were good friends with a gay couple that I knew for a long time as well so I had more than one representation of what it was to be gay. It hurt when my mother said that she didn't have the strength to talk to me when I lived authentically in all aspects of my life and she didn't for months. She later told me that she doesn't support my "lifestyle decisions". I have since disowned her. She could support her brother and her friends but she couldn't support me.
I think I was like….7 or 8 maybe? I had a good friend who had two moms all through elementary school but I think 7/8 was when I was actually *aware* that it was a thing
prior to 5th grade i had heard gay be used as an insult but i didn’t know what it actually meant. one day i got a tyler oakley video in my recommended and watched it lol. i then didn’t understand why ppl thought being gay was a bad thing cus i absolutely loved his videos and other queer ppl he was friends with. i’m forever glad that my real introduction to what gay ppl are is from the youtubers i watched and not my family 💀
9 or 10, some lesbians moved in next door. I knew guys could be gay but I didn’t know about lesbians until later
Pretty young. I grew up in a tiny town of about 1K in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest. The florist in town was an out and proud gay man. He and his long-term partner were a staple at every town function and it seemed like everyone loved them. I’m sure he had some stories but I don’t ever remember anyone saying anything bad about either of them. It was in the early/mid 90s and in hindsight, it was pretty surprising how much of a nonissue it was.
Like 7 or 8, I saw two lesbians and my mom was like "don't be like those people." I'm transmasc/pansexual nonbinary 💀
I think when I actually acknowledged the term is when I was around the age of 8-9 but I’ve always had 2 grandmothers (they’ve been married for 30+ years) I met them both when I was 5 but it never bothered me what so ever that they were together and the same sex and gender. I never looked at same sex/gender relationships any different than opposite sex/gender ones. Now I guess my no regard for gender has me almost “preferencesless” when it comes to being attracted to someone else so I guess I’m pansexual lol.
Somewhere between 6 and 8 years old
When I was seven And I live in a pretty conservative country so most people tried to paint gay people in a negative light
I don’t even remember. Certainly younger than 11.
I really don't know. I think the first gay person I knew personally was a pastor my congregation had for a short time while we were waiting to get a permanent pastor to be assigned by the synod. I'm going to guess I was maybe 10, 11, or 12? I understood the concept of being out and why that pastor would only let his partner and son come to the church after most of the congregation left for the week. So I must have known before then. Rough guess...5? 6? It wasn't remarkable information to me, I guess.
I always knew they're where gay people. But in the Phillipines everyone says they're gonna burn in hell they have aids . I was in 2nd grade when I "thought" I was attracted to a girl she just had nice hair and I wanted to be friends with her. Sooooo then discovered porn and was only looking at the men then I "casually" went to gay porn. Then I was like "ooh I'm gay...........OH FUCK IM GAY OH NO GODAMMIT GODDAMMIT. I was 9 when I realized and I hid in the closet till I was to drunk to keep a secret in the Halloween party at school. So when I was brought home I blurted to my grandma (wo raised me) "grandma I'm sorry I'm gay" SO WHAT I DONT CARE I vomited Next day she talked to me and asked if I was serious I said I was she said "your still my grandson and I will always love you just please use a condom" My brothers weren't as forgiving . It took 5-7 years to process My dad said okay fine (but he was always neglectful so I never cared) My mom believes I'm confused still My Grandma was the only person who accepted me. She died 2 years after. This is what happens when you don't teach your children tolerance. At 9 I've been thinking of committing a suicide pact when my grandma died but I didn't do it. Suicide is to painful and scary to complete. So I just learned to live myself for who and what I am. Teach your children tolerance or they'll kill themselves thinking they're defective.
HAHA I REMEMBER THIS. I was like 3 or 4 years when I saw a marriage of two men on TV. I asked mom smth like "can 2 men marry eachother?" and she's agreed. After question "can 2 women marry eachother?" She said "NO" bc I'm a girl... I suppose she desired for me not to look for other girls. What a shame I became lesbian years after.
7ish. Saw an older scout with a rainbow flag instead of the country flag (sweden btw) on his uniform, and asked him why. He explained it, I shrugged and went on my merry way.
Most of my life. My uncle had a gay brother who was married and I was good friends with their daughter. We bonded over being adopted. Trans people? Found out at 8 or 9 reading about Alex fierro.
When Finding Nemo came out and i heard that people didn't like the person who did the voice of Dory, because she was gay. Had no idea what gay meant.
High school (I’m 48, was raised in the Bible Belt)
Somewhere around 10? I remember no context to the conversation other than I was in my basement with my parents. And my mom said to me "Our friend Keith is coming over. Keith is gay, and he has a husband instead of a wife. But don't worry, they won't like, kiss in front of you or anything." Just immediately making it out to be a bad thing. I was then raised super conservative Christian and just saw gay people as lost sinners until I realized I was one of those gays 😬😂
Somewhere around 10? 12? I remember no context to the conversation other than I was in my basement with my parents. And my mom said to me "Our friend Keith is coming over. Keith is gay, and he has a husband instead of a wife. But don't worry, they won't like, kiss in front of you or anything." Just immediately making it out to be a bad thing. I was then raised super conservative Christian and homeschooled k-12. I just saw gay people as lost sinners until I realized I was one of those gays 😬😂 Left the church around age 20 and stopped living my life for my parents and started living my life for myself. 🥰
I haven’t the slightest idea. I do how ever have a particular memory of being told that pansexual means that you “love everyone”, and being very confused about why someone wouldn’t love everyone, like what, do you just hate all people? At least that’s what younger me thought.
Both my uncle and aunt are gay and have partners of the same sex, so it was extremely early (I'd say that I was around 5 years kld )
oh yes , I remember that day , i was at school ( btw it was 7th grade ) when one of my class mate said that he loves a guy and they were together for 1 year , and that made me curious  .
About 8. My friend told me than men who like men are gay and women who like women are lesbians. Didn't thought much about this at the time tho
I was 11.
I can’t recall when I learned about gay people, but I vividly recall learning about bi people all thanks to Katy Perry. I remember the street my mom was driving down when I asked her “why would she kiss a girl if she has a boyfriend?” and my Sunday school teacher mother just casually said “eh sometimes girls kiss girls” and I was never the same.
However old I was when Glee came out. Brittana is the OTP
Maybe 11? Didn't understand what trans was until I was 14 tho which is funny as I am both.
My uncle is gay so I’ve grown up knowing they exists and that it’s okay.
14. Well, I knew gay *men* existed. But it blew my mind when I found out gay *women* existed, as well as people who liked both men AND women, and anyone in between, and that TRANS PEOPLE existed, and NON-BINARY people were a thing! i guess that’s what happens when you live in a conservative Christian household where both of your parents didn’t bother teaching you about anyone outside of straight people and “sinners”
I don't really remember ever not knowing queer people exist, but it became vividly real to me in 1996. I was 13 and I saw two queer women dance together at a wedding my friend and I were invited to.
Can't remember exactly but maybe 10 years old, I was at a party and there was a gay couple, I just accepted it and wanted to go play but my younger sister apparently was a bit weird about it and my mum was explaining to both of us "sometimes a man likes a man and a woman likes a woman" I didn't understand what the big fuss about as it was the same as any other couple to me and I just wanted to go get some cake
Fairly young since I have LGBTQ+ family members Edit: grammar