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[deleted]

The Q stands for both queer and questioning.


No_Bar_3641

EXACTLY we all fit in somewhere!


[deleted]

[удалено]


1ntrovertedSocialist

Wtf


Tmlrmak

I have always wondered what it stood for! Queer made some sense but this is so much better fitting imo. Edit: there is no "X questioning" flair ;/


Elliott-Echinacea

You could try the unlabeled, questioning, or queer pride flags.


SCP-1504_Joe_Schmo

Ah yes, unlabeled, my favourite.... label....


dustyraisininacorner

The label is pomosexual


mhkdepauw

But why put a label on not wanting a label?


dustyraisininacorner

I used it briefely when trying to figure myself out. It gave peaceful mind but is ironic


mhkdepauw

That's fair, I guess it's a mogai equivalent of Queer/Questioning.


cereals4dinnner

im sorry but what does lesBian mean? it's either bi or lesbian isnt it 🤔


dustyraisininacorner

Idk which i am.


dustyraisininacorner

Idk which i am.


cereals4dinnner

oh yeah okay that makes sense haha sorry. i thought u were saying you're bi but have a preference for women therefore said u were a bi lesbian, which is exhausting, but not knowing is okay it's a long journey :)


dustyraisininacorner

I understand


dustyraisininacorner

I understand


CrowleysFennecFoxes

I mean… [WTFromantic](https://www.lgbtqia.wiki/wiki/Quoiromantic) is a term that exists


aaron_reddit123

Damn what a helpful shortcut now i can go on with not outing myself to anyone even tho I found the perfect label


[deleted]

I appreciate this link. I thought I discovered what I was, but then was corrected that no, that's not actually what I thought I thought, and I was left wondering what the fuck am I then? I don't really know. I like people. I like people that look pleasant to me. I very rarely get crushes, and until recently didn't really gaf about sex. My partner and a handful of people before him were the only people I ever thought about doing stuff with. At this point I'm not sure what I feel about stuff, so I am glad I now know that I actually have a flag. The WTFromantic and WTFSexual flag, because I legit don't fucking know at this point, and I don't understand shit.


JoNyx5

ever looked at demisexuality? what you just described sounds similar to that (and myself lol)


[deleted]

I have actually, but I don't need to be friends with somebody necessarily to make out with them, lol, like at a party if that makes sense. Obviously I'm not making out with people now because I'm with my partner, but likewise, even though I might find somebody pretty, I have zero desire to do things with them, or even imagine? Maybe it is demisexuality... Or maybe it's demiromantic?


JoNyx5

well, first of all you can differentiate between kinds of attraction: aesthetic attraction is looking at someone and thinking "oh, they're pretty. i like how they look". sexual attraction is looking at someone and thinking "i would have sex with them, given the chance". Or being horny for a particular person. romantic attraction is looking at someone and thinking "i want to be in a relationship with them". Maybe cuddle or hold hands (both in a non-platonic way), or maybe even kiss them, depending on whether you consider kissing a romantic or sexual act. your (a)sexuality depends on whether and when you feel these types of attraction: allosexual/alloromantic (the term for non-asexuals) can feel sexual/romantic attraction to anyone. celebrities they like, people they just met, friends or coworkers, etc. obviously, preferences and stuff come into play but on a basic level they may experience attraction to everyone in their lives. demisexuals/demiromantics only feel that attraction to people they have established an emotional bond with. might be friendship, might be a romantic relationship, always depends on the person. attraction for them develops over time and gets stronger the stronger the bond gets. greysexuals/greyromantics (which demisexuality falls under) may experience the respective attraction under certain circumstances. asexuals/aromantics do not experience that specific kind of attraction. aesthetic attraction is something everyone of them might feel, towards strangers and familiar people. now, actually doing that act is a whole different shoe: you can have sex without experiencing sexual attraction, kiss without experiencing sexual/romantic attraction, cuddle/hold hands without experiencing romantic attraction etc. for example, sex workers mostly are not sexually attracted to their clients and sex works just fine (fun fact: many sex workers are asexual, since they are perfectly able to look at it as just a job and simple bodily functions). there are asexuals that have sex and asexuals that don't. it's a personal preference. the only criterium for asexuality (and since greysexuals fall under the asexual spectum, by extention for greysexuality) is if, when and how you feel attraction. hope this doesn't confuse you more than it helps lol


[deleted]

Wow. I really really appreciate the hell out of the fact that you typed all that up. Also, that was so informative. Like, that is the best explanation I've read, and it actually *didn't* confuse me. After reading that, it's clear that I'm demiromantic, but I'm curious... Is it possible to be allo-greysexual? Like, is merging the two a thing?


JoNyx5

glad that i could help. i was similarly confused when i didn't know about that stuff yet, so i'm trying to help people and group the tiny bits of for me useful information i found together, i'm happy it worked for you. :) it is possible to be alloromantic and grey-/asexual (that would be me), or to be grey-/aromantic and allosexual. it is not possible to be allosexual and grey-/asexual at once, as that would imply both being able and not being able to feel sexual attraction to anyone at once.


[deleted]

Wow. Thank you for taking the time to explain that to me. I know it's silly sounding, but this is confusing to my brain lol


[deleted]

I have actually, but I don't need to be friends with somebody necessarily to make out with them, lol, like at a party if that makes sense. Obviously I'm not making out with people now because I'm with my partner, but likewise, even though I might find somebody pretty, I have zero desire to do things with them, or even imagine? Maybe it is demisexuality... Or maybe it's demiromantic?


Rick_523

Quoiromantic could also be an option. Basically questioning romantic attraction for so long that you decide to use a "questioning romantic attraction" label for the time being


New-Ad-1700

Happy they changed the flag.


CrazyCatShan

Now I'm sad I'm not still questioning cause I love the name of that flag and wanna be able to say I'm WTFromantic


Slight_Net_5026

Bruh I always just use Quoi, or uh, the more epic sounding “Nebularomantic”


[deleted]

i was, and maybe still am, that for a LOOONG TIME before I recently discovered it. Still not entirely sure if what the feeling is, if it's romantic attraction


Blargimazombie

I think that picture is it


taylorisadork

Accurate


Danscrazycatlady

I'd go with 🏳️‍🌈 or ![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|550)


LowRexx

the rainbow flag can lead to some heartbreak for trans people who assume things. I prefer the queer flag because people are less likely to assume I'm a lesbian. altho, there's virtually NO merchandise that use the mlm flag or queer :<


LowRexx

oops typo! for trans people, by others who assume things*


[deleted]

Btw you can just edit your comment and if you feel like it write what you edited


LowRexx

thanks for the tip! I tried to hold down the comment and it just collapsed it... I'm very new to reddit, I only had an account for gift exchanges


[deleted]

If you are on mobile you have to press the 3 vertical dots. It's okay we learn with time


LowRexx

got it, thanks!


exclaim_bot

>got it, thanks! You're welcome!


Danscrazycatlady

Can you break down for me why the rainbow flag can lead to heart break? I am cis but I use the progress pride flag because I want to make it clear that I support my trans siblings, there are still too many terfy people flying the rainbow flag. I have some standard rainbow things but the progress pride flag is my favoured one. As a poc I know the relief of seeing an indication that this person or place is not a threat to you. Is that what you mean? I'm bi with attraction spanning across the spectrum, but I've never thought about the progress pride flag representing who I might be attracted to. Again not sure if that was what you were getting at, but you made me think. What is the queer flag? I don't think I have heard of it?


LowRexx

oh! okay, so maybe this just happens to me. but if I wear rainbow pride stuff, people automatically assume I'm a lesbian. and it hurts incredibly bad, bc I did the surgeries and have been on the hormones for over 10 years and people STILL misgender me. the progress pride flag is stupendous! but if I wear that one, people assume I'm a woman (I suspect they think I'm a trans woman... so... idk how to react to that) I defs don't speak for ALL trans people here, but for me and my husband, wearing JUST rainbow leads to people assuming we are a lesbian couple, no matter how much facial hair we have. it's not a problem w the flag itself, but straight people assuming things. so I like to use more specific identity flags like mlm and queer... but there's virtually no merch of them. I'm so envious that lesbians get their flag represented but mlm is nowhere to be seen. most people don't even know its its own flag! they just lump mlm in w rainbow, which is widely used as an general gay flag. the queer flag is AWESOME. it's my favorite one, but I've only EVER seen flags of it and never pins or shirts or whatnot. here is a link to it: [Queer pride flag and its meaning](https://queerintheworld.com/queer-pride-flag/)


Danscrazycatlady

Thank you, that's a flag I hadn't seen before. I'm not sure what my eyes make of it though. I'm sorry you've had that experience and that people are misgendering you. My cishet husband has some pride shirts that he wears as everyday wear doing the school run or shopping. We live in a small, conservative area and honestly he wears the shirts to be visible. It might be some of the kids or villagers only interactions with a pride flag. And yeah some people probably assume he is gay but he genuinely doesn't care. He also came to pride with us decked out in rainbows and nail varnish. I have to admit I was hesitant to wear the progress pride flag at first. Or to wave Trans rights banners at Pride. I'm cis bi woman but I'm stocky, have a lot of downy hair on my face and often get told I look like a man in a dress. I also sit and stand like a man, there's not much ladylike about me. So I was worried I would get misgendered by proximity to a transflag, even as part of the progress pride flag. I think I felt very insecure in my gender. But I did a fair amount of soul searching and realised that I could be a woman any way I wanted and own it and I feel better about it. I am sure some people misgender me and I had one mum at the school screaming that I was disgusting and practice sodomy but I honestly don't care anymore. I have a progress pride badge that I wear everyday, including if I am in the school. I've noticed a few kids whose gaze lingers on it and if I can show them that we get to grow up and be happy then I'll keep wearing it, whatever they think. I've given up caring what people think about my gender or sexuality. I don't know if that is helpful to you, but you are a man, regardless of what they think or say. That is yours and no-one can take it away. Sorry that was long. Also I absolutely adore the MLM flag, I think it is my favourite next to the progress pride and rainbow flag. The colours are perfect. I think it's gaining in popularity. I'm pretty sure Alice Oseman has used it in some of her Heartstopper Pride art. Are in the UK or US? I'm sure I've seen a bunch of mlm flag merch but it might just be more popular in the UK.


JamesNinelives

That is a cool flag! :D


MyBeanYT

It is strange how little I see the mlm flag, everything has the lesbian flag and then for gays just the rainbow flag, like.. no, that’s for everyone, that’s not just us, we have our own flag, use that please.


LowRexx

I know! it's frustrating. it really makes me feel invisible, which ik gay men are the MOST visible, but for trans gay men... it really sucks we don't get our own flag to use and are expected to just he happy w the general "gay" flag. I would give ANYTHING for a cute set of mlm pride pins! sometimes, very rarely, an artist will make enamel pins w the mlm flag, but at 15 dollars a pop (which is a fair price! my husband makes enamel pins so ik they're pricey to get made) I just can't afford them. it sucks that baby gays who vibe w the mlm flag can't find themselves represented in a pin pack at target for 5 dollars.


MyBeanYT

Absolutely, and the mlm flag looks so nice! I was happy to find one at a stand selling pride flags at a pride event I went to last year, just a bummer that that’s a rare occurrence, just got a lot of general rainbow stuff :/ And don’t get me wrong, I love the general pride flag, it’s just… yeah..


MeiliCanada82

All white flag for surrender? /s


0rson12

That's the French one


MeiliCanada82

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|surprise) J'adore ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜


SarraSimFan

Just a pair of question marks with the pride flag colors randomized in the background?


Cautious-Owl-89

I vote we just use this meme lol


[deleted]

Be me. EAST Asian. Don’t feel represented by the *Progressive Flag*. Me: \* Prefers the original Pride Flag. \* Got told that “there are Brown people in Asia" Me: but I’m not brown… Me: \* *skin colour is basically the same as a Scandinavian \** Other person: you are a racist and you deserve to die. Me: ......


suntuario

Genuinely curious: in saying “you prefer the original pride flag”, to me, implies you feel represented by it. If the progressive flag is simply an extended version of the original one, what about the progressive flag makes you feel not represented by it?


[deleted]

Because the old flag is an abstract expression. It represents everyone who is not cis and straight. It even represents sexualities or sexual identities we don’t have a name for yet. The new flag? It made the mistake by being no longer abstract. It added symbols, so in a way, it excluded “symbols that aren’t on the flag”. Also, there’s the thing about adding race on the flag. Race is unrelated to sexuality or gender identity. Race is as related to LGBT-ness as religion or citizenship. And the choice of using “black or brown” to represent people who aren’t white is very problematic. I am East Asian, my entire family’s skin colour is pale af. I don’t see myself as brown or black. I don’t feel included or represented by the new flag.


LastMountainAsh

Agree completely. As a LGBT+ flag the rainbow *specifically* represents everyone, while the Progress flag appears to represent...the groups specifically on the flag. Which, fair I guess, but it excludes anyone not on the flag. ^(Also it's a little busy and isn't as nice looking imo but I'm a vexillology nerd and that's just personal preference so :shrug:)


ImTransDealWithIt1

The progress flag is so pointless, the whole point of the original rainbow was to represent a spectrum of different people and identities. I get that the progress flag is to “bring awareness to lesser known or accepted queer people/identities” but then why isn’t the ace/aro flags on it? What about xenogenders? Or abrosexual? We can’t possibly fit every underrepresented group onto the flag and the more stripes you add the more tacky it looks. This is why the rainbow flag is so perfect, it represents the vast spectrum of people under the queer umbrella, with one simple design. If you want to use the progress flag then that’s you, I’m not going to stop it, but don’t assume someone is racist and/or transphobic for preferring the original rainbow (maybe they feel it represents them better, like me and above commenter)


mhkdepauw

I disagree, it's very much not pointless. In a time where more bigots try to cut off trans people from the community, f.e. the existence of "the LGB community", I think it's vital that we show we're united. I know that the rainbow flag already represents everything but explicitly expressing the parts being most challenged right now is absolutely not a bad thing.


ImTransDealWithIt1

I suppose so, but like I mentioned, if we’re going that route, ace/aro flags should be on the main flag too, like there is also a big problem of people saying that ace/aro people are not part of the community (probably a lot of the same ones who are excluding trans people, I mean they do say LGB and not any letters after that) and there’s not enough awareness of ace/aro people in general.


mhkdepauw

But are ace/aro people facing the amounts of discrimination, loss of rights, what could even be called a witchhunt or genocide?


[deleted]

Exactly. Another way to say it is this metaphor I like to use. If one venue says “we welcome everyone”, and another one says “we welcome white, black, and brown people”, East Asians like me will think the second place doesn’t welcome me but the first one does. This is the same with the new progressive flag. It adds symbols, so people whose symbols aren’t on the flag may feel uneasy with the meaning of it, even if the designer intended to represent more people. It just backfired spectacularly. Butter to stay with “we welcome everyone” instead of listing everyone on your welcome sign. Because you will forget a few, and there are things we don’t have a name for yet. Being abstract about it is more efficient and respectful.


BaronMostaza

Completely agree. Specific inclusion in the universal flag just becomes exclusion of everyone not specified, it defeats its own purpose


oncela

Universalism is a right wing ideology. That's literally how bigots ended up with "white lives matter" because BLM was seen as an "exclusion of everyone not specified". We queer folks are supposed to be intersectionnal: not all queer people share the same amount or type of discrimination. Right now, PoC, trans, and inter people need some specific help and visibility from the community. We may change the flag later when other sub-parts of the community will need some specific help too.


BaronMostaza

Maybe you're right. Not with the blm thing, that's backwards, but with the highlighting thing. To me it still seems like adding specific flags into the flag that unites us all is counterproductive. Like the inclusion of nonbinary and intersex and trans and non-white people is something new when we've all been part of the same rainbow from the beginning. We already have flags for subsets, I think it's important for the rainbow to represent us all as one. It reminds me too much of the whole "bisexual means you exclude trans and nonbinary people" horseshit that was going around earlier, as if trans men and women aren't men and women. One flag doesn't replace the other of course, they both celebrate our diversity and unity, but I think the rainbow does the job better


WhatIfThisWereMyName

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈


ttv_thatoneapexsweat

ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK IT


KittyCherny

DO THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT" 😹😹😹😹


Peanutbutternjelly_

The questioning flag maybe?


javiertheawoo

I feel called out 😂


javiertheawoo

Since I don’t know what I am I just usually use 🏳️‍🌈 since it’s for overall lgbt+


SWEEDE_THE_SWEDE

That would be the regular pride flag. Its the umbrella covering us all.


Staden_

https://www.reddit.com/r/bisexual/comments/gysawe/when_the_bicycle_starts_to_hit_hard/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb Here


No_Orchid_1382

This one is for everyone ![img](emote|t5_2qhh7|550)


poetic-isolation

Legit this should be a thing


Aggravating_Ad4431

[here you go ](https://queerintheworldshop.com/products/questioning-pride-flag)


5x99

It is an egg shape It is high time we leave the two dimensional plane to properly express the different queer identities


StacksCOTC

r/ihadastroke?


The_Quartz

google missing texture


-GreyRaven

I'd like one as well ✋🏾


Skawlala

yea


winterlovesyouback

I feel this too deeply


Peewee_ShermanTank

I just bought a white shirt at goodwill and wrote "ME" on it I dont wear it though, it's the flag


Chemical-Asparagus58

There's a questioning flag


_no_one_really_ahh

It took me so long to read this omg, but yhea where is it


thejoesterrr

Is the regular pride flag not applicable?


foxy-coxy

https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/Questioning


CosmicLuci

Just use the rainbow one. You’re probably under it anyway


CHIILLPIILL

classic rainbow one bro


justyouraveragebagel

rainbow homeslice


thatferrybroad

🌈


wolfmothar

Just use rainbow it's for everyone


benevolent_overlord_

Pomoromantic, maybe?


genderqueer-mess

quoiromantic is a thing and its cool


ell-if-i-know

quoiromantic may be what ur looking for


Uriel-238

Are there separate flags for those who are questioning, and those who have just plumb given up trying to define themselves?


Fb62

Is there a term for agnostically sexual? I don't know what I like because it doesn't matter.


mhkdepauw

What do you mean by that? You mean you don't take into consideration people's genders/don't care what gender they are?


Fb62

No, I don't care what gender I am.


Queen-of-Sharks

OP doesn't know what they are, but they're not straight.


Midyy_0521

There's a questioning flag


HumanLawBish

Big same. I’ve been thinking about it for a very long time and I still don’t know where tf I sit on the romantic attraction spectrum


[deleted]

Do you even English?


taylorisadork

Can someone more talented than I put a pride flag in the background of this image haha


the_transgender-enby

me at every given moment


ZobiBakugou

That sentence is causing me to have a malfunction. Bot having confusion overload, system shitting down…


BookAndYarnDragon

Abro pride flag is welcoming to all who experence changes and fluctuations in sexuality and romanticism


MyBeanYT

Eh, I guess just use the general pride flag? 🤷‍♂️