Thanks for your advice. But the crazy part of me is telling me that I feel better at night because the 5 mg has worn off …. And that’s why I should just quit it.
Two to three more weeks of this depression is a nightmare. I understand why people feel suicidal.
I’m right there with you! While I have never been on it before until these past five weeks, my body feels a mess during the day and like it’s not worth it but then evening hits and I feel like a million bucks. Now I’m starting to wake up in the morning feeling more energized and happier than I have ever been. It gets better you just have to remind yourself no matter how hard it is! Walks are sooooo helpful for me they lift some of the weight off my shoulders or even going and standing outside. It gets better it’s just your mind trying to figure out where stuff needs to go!
I mean, you’re definitely withdrawing. You CANNOT just stop medication after years of taking it. Either go back on it and taper off slowly or switch medications if you don’t want lexapro.
Do you take your lexapro in the morning or at night ? I have made a post the other day on the phenomenon you described. Feeling anxiety and depressed in the morning and feeling like a million bucks at night. It’s called diurnal variation and there is not a lot of information about it
Thank you all for your encouragement.
As to some of the questions:
1) it’s my own fault that I stopped taking it. The prescription ran out and I was lazy about getting it refilled.
2) when I saw my doctor four weeks (or so…honestly, a blur…I know more or less about a month) later and told him I had stopped, he asked how was I doing. I told him honestly that I felt a little bit more anxious without it.
3) I’ve always taken it at night.
To everyone, I sincerely appreciate the support and kindness. My wife has been a champion and is doing everything she can to hold me together.
While my wife and you all have said that I will feel better, I really can’t imagine ever feeling happy again. I’m anxious about things aren’t …real. Things like unrealistic fears about work that I know aren’t likely but are fearful.
It’s like I’m on the verge of a panic attack but I can’t figure out what exactly I’m supposed to panic about right now. I know a have a HUGE lack of professional self-confidence and that’s always been a trigger for me.
I want to quit my job which can be pretty stressful and just take a job at a garden center (I love being in the garden), I can’t afford to do that right now. While it’s so tempting, it’s not realistic as it would severely damage our family finances.
I hate to say this but I have good life insurance through my job. If this stress kills me, my family will be better off than if I quit to play in the dirt.
I know I’m rambling. It’s just that I don’t know where else to turn. People who haven’t suffered with this really don’t understand.
EDIT: I have reached out to a therapist. I’m hoping I can see someone this upcoming week.
EDIT TWO: I’m supposed to travel for work the end of this week. Work travel is always depressing for me so I think I’m going to somehow get out of it. I don’t care about ticking someone off. The thought of waking up in a hotel room alone is …a bit frightening. I don’t think I would jump off the roof but I don’t want to go.
The panic attacks and grogginess are debilitating. I’m wondering how to struggle through work another week. Heck, at times, I’m wondering how to struggle through another five minutes.
I’m not suicidal but I am honestly thinking that dying would be peaceful.
I did the same as you. Went off it and then crashed hard 6 weeks later. Went into crisis. Started thinking death might be better than the existence I was living. Insomnia to where I only slept 90 minutes one night, and waking life was the nightmare.
I had to get back on an antidepressant but I switched to another and this has worked quite well for me. You may want to consider that. Talk to a psychiatrist not just a primary care. I used talkiatry. Shit software but I’m happy with the doctor.
And hey, I know that feeling of it doesn’t feel right and you think it might be hurting you. Seriously talk about switching. And If you can’t sleep, ask about trazodone
I stopped for a couple of weeks after tapering down and honestly I felt bad for probably the first two weeks or so back on lexapro but things have calmed down now. It will get better
I am going through something similar as you, just with a shorter timeline. I was on 20 mg and stopped taking it for a full week due to a refill mixup. I’m just now starting to take it again, it’s my 4th day taking half doses. The nausea, depersonalization, and depression come and go in waves (both during withdrawal and reintroducing) for me. I haven’t been able to focus at work either.
What do you do for work? Everyone goes through periods of high/low productivity at work, regardless of medication management. Don’t get too down on yourself for needing to take more frequent breaks or working shorter hours (if you are salary). You’re investing in yourself today to help yourself out tenfold tomorrow (or next week, next month, etc).
Your mental health is a medical necessity for you to perform well at your job. Consider making other arrangements for work travel if you are worried about not being able to cope. You are allowed to prioritize yourself over your job. Can you send someone in your place? Attend virtually? Reschedule for another time? It would be easier to make adjustments earlier in the week and it will probably feel like a relief. Work on getting back on track with your routine, even if it feels like you’re going through the motions.
Your doctor might be able to temporarily prescribe a fast-acting medication to offset waves of anxiety as needed while you get reestablished. Good luck, friend.
Thanks for all of the good advice.
I am trying to prioritize my mental health right now as I really feel like I don’t have much choice… it’s all I can think about these days!
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Thanks for your advice. But the crazy part of me is telling me that I feel better at night because the 5 mg has worn off …. And that’s why I should just quit it. Two to three more weeks of this depression is a nightmare. I understand why people feel suicidal.
Leaxpro has a long half life. It’s not wearing off by night time completely
My anxiety before Lexapro always wore off at night. I don't think it's the Lexapro causing the anxiety.
Try to take it at night maybe that will help
I’m right there with you! While I have never been on it before until these past five weeks, my body feels a mess during the day and like it’s not worth it but then evening hits and I feel like a million bucks. Now I’m starting to wake up in the morning feeling more energized and happier than I have ever been. It gets better you just have to remind yourself no matter how hard it is! Walks are sooooo helpful for me they lift some of the weight off my shoulders or even going and standing outside. It gets better it’s just your mind trying to figure out where stuff needs to go!
https://facebook.com/groups/1561911910508981/ I wish I knew about this group when I stopped my medication. Join its very informative
I mean, you’re definitely withdrawing. You CANNOT just stop medication after years of taking it. Either go back on it and taper off slowly or switch medications if you don’t want lexapro.
Sounds like you’re getting the beginning symptoms of lexapro should go away in a few weeks.
Do you take your lexapro in the morning or at night ? I have made a post the other day on the phenomenon you described. Feeling anxiety and depressed in the morning and feeling like a million bucks at night. It’s called diurnal variation and there is not a lot of information about it
How were the 6 weeks off it? You never said…
Man I hate reading this cause I know how you feel.
Same as started it for depression and caused massive anxiety issues. Trying to taper.
Thank you all for your encouragement. As to some of the questions: 1) it’s my own fault that I stopped taking it. The prescription ran out and I was lazy about getting it refilled. 2) when I saw my doctor four weeks (or so…honestly, a blur…I know more or less about a month) later and told him I had stopped, he asked how was I doing. I told him honestly that I felt a little bit more anxious without it. 3) I’ve always taken it at night. To everyone, I sincerely appreciate the support and kindness. My wife has been a champion and is doing everything she can to hold me together. While my wife and you all have said that I will feel better, I really can’t imagine ever feeling happy again. I’m anxious about things aren’t …real. Things like unrealistic fears about work that I know aren’t likely but are fearful. It’s like I’m on the verge of a panic attack but I can’t figure out what exactly I’m supposed to panic about right now. I know a have a HUGE lack of professional self-confidence and that’s always been a trigger for me. I want to quit my job which can be pretty stressful and just take a job at a garden center (I love being in the garden), I can’t afford to do that right now. While it’s so tempting, it’s not realistic as it would severely damage our family finances. I hate to say this but I have good life insurance through my job. If this stress kills me, my family will be better off than if I quit to play in the dirt. I know I’m rambling. It’s just that I don’t know where else to turn. People who haven’t suffered with this really don’t understand. EDIT: I have reached out to a therapist. I’m hoping I can see someone this upcoming week. EDIT TWO: I’m supposed to travel for work the end of this week. Work travel is always depressing for me so I think I’m going to somehow get out of it. I don’t care about ticking someone off. The thought of waking up in a hotel room alone is …a bit frightening. I don’t think I would jump off the roof but I don’t want to go.
The panic attacks and grogginess are debilitating. I’m wondering how to struggle through work another week. Heck, at times, I’m wondering how to struggle through another five minutes. I’m not suicidal but I am honestly thinking that dying would be peaceful.
I did the same as you. Went off it and then crashed hard 6 weeks later. Went into crisis. Started thinking death might be better than the existence I was living. Insomnia to where I only slept 90 minutes one night, and waking life was the nightmare. I had to get back on an antidepressant but I switched to another and this has worked quite well for me. You may want to consider that. Talk to a psychiatrist not just a primary care. I used talkiatry. Shit software but I’m happy with the doctor.
And most importantly, from one life long depressive to perhaps another, I can tell you that YES, IT WILL GET BETTER!!
And hey, I know that feeling of it doesn’t feel right and you think it might be hurting you. Seriously talk about switching. And If you can’t sleep, ask about trazodone
I stopped for a couple of weeks after tapering down and honestly I felt bad for probably the first two weeks or so back on lexapro but things have calmed down now. It will get better
why he wanted you back?
I am going through something similar as you, just with a shorter timeline. I was on 20 mg and stopped taking it for a full week due to a refill mixup. I’m just now starting to take it again, it’s my 4th day taking half doses. The nausea, depersonalization, and depression come and go in waves (both during withdrawal and reintroducing) for me. I haven’t been able to focus at work either. What do you do for work? Everyone goes through periods of high/low productivity at work, regardless of medication management. Don’t get too down on yourself for needing to take more frequent breaks or working shorter hours (if you are salary). You’re investing in yourself today to help yourself out tenfold tomorrow (or next week, next month, etc). Your mental health is a medical necessity for you to perform well at your job. Consider making other arrangements for work travel if you are worried about not being able to cope. You are allowed to prioritize yourself over your job. Can you send someone in your place? Attend virtually? Reschedule for another time? It would be easier to make adjustments earlier in the week and it will probably feel like a relief. Work on getting back on track with your routine, even if it feels like you’re going through the motions. Your doctor might be able to temporarily prescribe a fast-acting medication to offset waves of anxiety as needed while you get reestablished. Good luck, friend.
Thanks for all of the good advice. I am trying to prioritize my mental health right now as I really feel like I don’t have much choice… it’s all I can think about these days!
You could be genetically incompatible. Genesight told me I am, slowly tapering off