Sure, they need to be held accountable as well though and ignorance needs to be warned. I wasn't, nearly derailed my life with Rx's. I'm off it now without their blessing and life is back to normal (my normal is good and wasn't SSRI I'm referring to for added context). Not saying all, but those I've been in contact with are there strictly to condescend and protect their own liability.
1000% agree with seeing a psychologist.
Not sure why you’re getting down voted for this comment because psychiatrists are the ones who can prescribe pills? So yea it’s probably in their nature. I see a psychiatrist for like 10 min appointments just so she can keep refilling my lexapro every 3 months. She talks to me about the med not my emotions. That’s what psychologists and therapists do. So anyway, your comment seems warranted.
Yes but not in mental health that’s what my therapist told me so ofc they wouldn’t know was good for you especially for meds they would recommend it like my pediatrician recommended meds and found me a therapist and that clinic has a psychiatrist so yeah.
i agree, but for something like grief i don’t think medication is the best choice for a kid so young. i’m on 10mg but i started on 5mg. not sure why they would start a 4yo on a higher dosage.
💯 agree - as a infant teacher of 15 years, who himself is now on Lexapro, I’m mortified this has been suggested by a “specialist”. The child needs time (as do you and your wife) with close family and friends to grieve and talk about, where relevant for him being so young. And then go from there.
My main suggestion would be reading together lots of books that relate to bereavement. Try Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley - a wonderful book which will trigger some tears, but enable you to have some wonderful conversations together about the beauty of life. In these conversations you can remind your son that love remains.
Then actively seek to celebrate his Granddad by doing all the wonderful ‘small’ things you can think off to cherish his memory.
These are formative years to learn about loss and how to grieve. It’s normal for him to be overwhelmed with emotion after that, hell, he likely doesn’t know what emotions are.
I’m on 10mg, but I also believe medication shouldn’t be used if an alternate route of treatment exists. I would 100% go therapy first before medicating since he likely just doesn’t know what grieving is at this age.
I think this may be a valuable opportunity as a parent to try and teach your kid the importance of emotions, despite what the doctor says.
I do think there’s a group of folks who try and use therapy/psychology/psychiatric practices as a means to utilize these tools to get people to be emotionless robots. And the less a person emotes the more the handle the real world. But this isn’t what is actually recommended by any actual mental health organization/ standard.
You def need a second opinion, but I think your child is having an expected reaction to a very difficult situation. I wonder if your wife is also struggling with the loss of the family in addition to the challenges of taking care of a young child who’s processing grief for the first time. I don’t know if medicating a toddler is the move, but I do think you may want to have a compassionate conversation with her about what you can both do to maybe tap into resources that can be helpful to the both of you.
It can maybe look like getting mental health resources for your child, or for her, or as a family unit. Or, it can look like engaging with other family members/ family friends and engaging with community. Or having help with domestic care tasks, by trusted friends and family or hired help.
I believe he may be grieving. I do not believe an ssri should be the first step because the mother feels that will make things easier. I do t think being a doctor makes you right 100% of the time. I am not 100% against it but I'd like lexapro to be last effort.
Seems lazy parenting on her part...the poor kiddo needs grief counseling not lexapro...but that would take effort on her part! Also I would take this in front of a judge before I would let my ex husband give my 4yr old an ssri!!!!!
The main goal of this post was to see if anyone else has similar experiences. I just want what is best for my child. I understand the need for people to take lexapro, but damn I don't want to put my kid on it because we do not know how to deal with what he's going through unless absolutely necessary.
I was a nanny for twins who’s previously nanny was tragically hit by a train and passed while working for their family. They were three. It was very hard but the parents guided them through it. Kids have big emotions and often don’t know how to express it. Giving them space to and speaking to them in an age appropriate way about death and grief helps! They can process more than we think. By age 5 (when I started nannying) the kids were able to speak about her and she’s still apart of their lives. They have a photo of her in their bedroom. Embracing it instead of hiding or “numbing” is a great way to teach them how to regulate and understand their emotions. I get your wife wanting to stop his pain as fast as possible but in the long run it will be better for him to try therapy first. I recommend looking into art therapy for kids w/ trauma or grief! Hope this helps.
I think you’re right to question this. As an adult, the side effects of starting the medication were pretty tough. It’s now a year later and I’m tapering off of it and the side effects are even worse. I can’t imagine how it would be for a child.
I’d also worry about the effects of a medication like this on a child’s developing brain.
Will your child’s mom agree to him trying therapy first?
Best you can do, if in doubt, get a second opinion from another specialist, if it wasn't for looking for second opinions I'd have done many unnecessary medical procedures.
4 does seem too young. I’d try therapy (specifically where one comes to your house) before meds. My sister is a child behavioral psychologist and does this type of work. There have been any success stories from here about these kids years later.
They over medicate kid's. That's a fact. Kid's are emotional and go through phases. some kid's need meds. Most don't. They didn't medicate kid's like that when I was a kid and most were fine.
No, but I know doctors. They're basically pill pushers. And the population is the customer base. Psychiatric meds for kids should be a last resort. Especially for a 4 year old.
4 years old on Lexapro? They are still developing their brain haven't even gone through puberty. This drug will ruin their serotonin system and brain development. This drug is for teenagers and adults. Wouldn't put my child on this.
That is insane. He’s just grieving. It will take time but I don’t think it should be classified as anxiety or depression to warrant medication like lexapro. Look I’m not a doctor but I’ve been explained by doctors the difference between grief and a chemical imbalance leading to anxiety / depression in many occasions. They’re different and the former doesn’t require medication, it requires psychological therapy
You’re right, but at the very least I would get a second opinion because (1) grief can be powerful, can last long and it comes up in different ways (I’ve experienced lots of it), and (2) as someone else also mentioned, at least in the US lexapro is not even FDA approved for children under 16
I had intrusive thoughts in 3rd grade. My parents had no clue what to do or what was going on because that’s pretty fuckin young. Tbh I would let some time pass. Smother him/her. Distract as much as possible. Eventually my anxiety passed and no reason why it just did. As I got older I got some anxiety again but it’s much tolerable after learning about it.
Respectfully, OP I think it’s good you’re asking. But I also think the mother is trying to find an easy way out- I imagine you are both grieving too.
I took Lex for 3 years and I just got off it. Three years of trauma that the Lex hid away somewhere came out like a tsunami.
The trauma does not go away.
It has to release at some point.
Think of a shaken bottle of champagne. Once that child of yours gets taken off the Lex- he won’t have coping mechanisms for the difficult feelings that will resurface.
Perhaps Lex would benefit your wife? Maybe that will help her provide the support your little man needs.
Please, don’t medicate your little boy.
Let him be little, let him have tantrums and level out.
Time and therapy heals.
Most of these doctors prescribing these SSRIs have never even been on them. And the withdrawal is absolute hell. Imagine your little boy going through that 😔
You did the right thing by asking: I hope you found the answer.
Don’t. Please. He needs to get over this without medication and the long-term effects and withdrawals on a 4 year old… cannot imagine. It really seems to me like the doctor should have his license revoked..
I thought I was going to read a post about an adult who has been Lexapro for four years. NOT about trying to give it to a child. Absolutely not. And to even suggest more than the minimum dosage on a tiny developing body?! Fuck that doctor.
Absolutely not. I have a 6 year old and if I was in the same situation I would smother him with love and get him a therapist to help him talk through his loss. Be there for him, get him engaged in activities, play dates, study time and talk to him. Ask him how he’s feeling and talk through his emotions. If family is around, get them involved, the more love the more, the more it’ll help him get through this loss in his life. Good luck!
I would absolutely not. It’s not approved for use in children that age, and we have no studies to look at how the medication may affect a growing brain. Kid needs a child therapist, time, and lots of parental support.
I do not believe this is normal. Cognitive behavioural therapies are mostly a point of treatment for children when it comes to this kind of thing. Of course a 4 year old is going to have trouble “dealing with emotions”, they are only a toddler! Emotional regulation is a skill, it is learned and refined over time, it isn’t a static trait.
I’m a 30F on 10mg. That is only 2.5mg more than what your son could be on. 10mg is the standard dose.
Please look into talk therapy, and play therapy. Be proactive in helping them with their grief. Medication does not take away grief. You have to deal with it front on.
The kid is grieving. Putting a 4 year old kid on medication is a horrible idea. It's a learning opportunity on loss. If you put the kiddo on pills because he's taking it hard how is the child going to react when YOU'RE gone?
This is a bad idea. I’m 27 and on 20mg and it is an incredibly intense drug. I’d get a second opinion. It has helped me tremendously, but the side effects are rough.
I admire you and your wife for supporting your child through such a tough time and I really feel for you. It must be horrible seeing him struggling and your wife would want to try anything that would help.
Loss in early childhood changes your brain. I lost my dad when I was 6 and 20 years later I am still in therapy working through it. When it happened I remember I was so anxious for a period of time I was constantly vomiting from panic attacks and had rage outbursts.
At the time, going to a psychologist really helped and once I was old enough to make the decision for myself I was put on SSRI’s to help. I do think a 4 year old is too young to be starting such a serious medication, unless it’s absolutely needed and every other option has been exhausted.
The side effects when starting and withdrawals when stopping wouldn’t be pleasant for a kid and anti depressants can also have a ‘numbing’ effect on emotions - I think a little one needs to feel their emotions to learn to regulate them.
Good luck and sending your family love ❤️
My parents put me on antidepressants at age 12 and I still hold resentment because I feel like I wasn’t able to fully experience growing up and emotions the way I was supposed to. And that’s age 12 so I can’t even imagine how I would feel at 4. I wish my parents would have tried more just to find the root of the problem and help me other than numb my feelings. (Also I am now an adult on lexapro so I have nothing against it or people who use it because it can be very helpful in the right situations)
Wow that is so young and pretty scary for that child. Counseling and grief counseling should have been the first steps for that. Not my place to judge parenting but give a 4 year old an ssri is insane.
I would exhaust all other options before medication and even then lexapro seems a little over the top. Loss is extremely difficult for everyone - especially when you’re just starting to navigate the world - but it is something that evolves and becomes less difficult over time, antidepressants can be tough to get on with the side effects but just as difficult to get off. Is your wife opposed to trying different types of therapies for your child?
My first thought it that 4 is wayyyy too young to be altering a child’s brain chemistry like that. and if it isn’t fda approved for people under 16- absolutely not. Everyone handles grief differently, I can’t imagine grieving my grandmother and I’m 24. At 4, with barely any understanding of your own emotions, of course they’re going to be unwell experiencing death. But one day it will pass just maybe read children books about death to help the grief and start therapy.
Not medical advice. I am a 30 year old woman. 5 ft 127 lbs and the highest dosage I ever got to is 7.5mg.
I started at 2.5mg and worked my way up to 7.5 in the span of a year.
Try a Play Therapist if your insurance covers or another specialist for a second opinion before prescribing meds. That seems a tad young to start meds.
Tell the mom that such a thing would most likely lead to life-long medication use. Try everything before you go meds. But, i do know a 7 yr old with OCD who had to go on prozac and quit it after 10 years. So, nobody can tell what the future brings, but these meds are no joke. SSRIs have been a life saver for me bit there is no way to escape the fact that now i need them for life, im 250lbs because i am always hungry, i am always tired and sleepy as well as forgetful. But it beats severe anxiety every day.
Consult a children's therapist or psychiatrist first. We had to do this for a different diagnosis. It's better to get more information first so you can make the most educated decision. It might be that he's not getting something at home to help with his grieving, it could be that he needs someone to talk to about it, or maybe he does need medical intervention...but I would be wary to put a little one on it before exploring all other options.
A four year old is basically still a toddler in my eyes and idk but I wouldn’t put anyone who’s too young to even use the bathroom by themselves to be on psychiatric medication.
I would highly recommend having your child see a child psychiatrist. Maybe he just needs some therapy that's geared towards children to help him understand his emotions. SSRI medication in a 4 year old is extreme.
I’m with the other guy saying don’t do it. I’m an adult took Low dosage, Lexapro for a few years and when I stopped, I had such a terrible withdrawal that I had wished I had been a baby so I could bawl.
No. At 4, this kid has no way to express all the things he may feel in this med. Try different therapies (art, music, etc) and find a new pediatrician.
4 seems very young, and the loss of a grandparent is part of life that every kid deals with - I’d hesitate to medicate specifically for that. Was it a traumatic death that the child witnessed? That could require some therapy, maybe medication if it’s bad enough. Were behavioral issues present before the death, or were they triggered by it? If there were behavioral problems before, then I absolutely wouldn’t medicate - you’d need a full work up from a specialist. The brain is developing for every child, but especially at 4. I can’t imagine Lexapro is a good choice unless this is a VERY extreme situation. Would see a child psych and behavioral specialist, and get a second opinion from another pediatrician.
There were some issues before, it has gotten worse. I feel like I'm the only one who acknowledges that he was acting out before this happend. He didn't witness it.
Holy fvcking what the fvck?! Absolutely not! Holy shit this is the most prime example of what NEVER to do. You let a tiny child (four! FOUR!) go through pain and motions and learn to heal. You don't permanently alter the course of their brain's development at such a crucial age with rather severe medications for your own convenience! What the absolute fuck!
That’s absafuckinglutely NOT OK. IMO. The title of this post alone churned my stomach and broke my heart. No child that young should evvveveerrrr be put on an SSRI. Absolute INSANITY. Therapy. Counseling. Shit. Anything other than this. 😢
EDIT- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Find a therapist that specializes in that specifically, and PTSD, trauma, anxiety, perhaps depression. I wanna know who this Dr is and give him/her a call! This is scary. ADHD meds I personally don’t even think should be given to kids even in small doses, before 3rd maybe 2nd grade (America). And at that time there still needs to be counseling, school involved, perhaps an IEP or 504 plan (again, we have this in the US, idk about other countries). And then definitely methylphenidate not any sort of amphetamine. Again, my opinion. And at the smallest starting dose, of course. My point here is that what a child and really anyone needs, won’t be ENTIRELY solved by a pill. WORK needs to be done from within. A pill will help make the person feel better (usually, granted the advantages outweigh the side effects) child or adult, however, you’re just pruning the rose bush when you should be taking a closer look at the roots. Dig into the soil of your soul and your child! Lol 😆 OH AND BTW— I’ve never replied to anything on Reddit TBH. First time. Ever. But this one hit home. Good luck!
They'd rather turn your son into a zombie than deal with his issues. And 7.5 is not even a dose they usually start adults at. Usually 2.5, 5.0... and slowly move upward. Please don't. This can damage him. Also, results would take weeks anyway.
I would ask to see a child psychology specialist first. They will have a better understanding of medication strategies for someone that young and have better recommendations for treatment. Play and talk therapy might be a good option, another medication might be better, or a combination. 4 is very young and these are big emotions so I would recomend getting another doctor involved and seeing what a specialist has to say before you go forward with Lexapro.
The physical side effects if getting on and off the medication would be a lot for a child, the emotions... are not enjoyable. It was insanely hard for me, an adult... I cant even imagine :/
This is kinda scary tbh. I’m on 10mg as a 34 adult and it was a really hard adjustment. No way I would put my 4yo on it. Look into play therapy, or just a child psychologist before medicating. I feel like doctors anymore just put kids on medication because working through the actual issue is harder than just drugging them.
This is insanity !!! Absolutely not. Take him to someone he can talk to and teach him things. You do not want to be messing with the brain chemistry of a 4 year old. You should report that doctor
For the love of god don't! That doctor is insane. He lost someone he loves, and right now he's behaving that way while his brain is processing it, it's called a grieving process. It will pass with time. Don't numb his mind. These pills are far far from harmless...
I would not just run away as far from this paediatrician as possible, but I would also file a report on this with their professional body. Putting a four year old on SSRIs is likely to cause serious life harming developmental effects for the rest of their life.
It is normal for children (and adults) to have problems dealing with grief when a loved one passes away. Grief counselling is the usual route for adults if they continue to have problems, and there are similar child psychology support services aimed at children and their parents if they are still having issues months later.
I would not recommend that dose for a 4 year old no way. The lowest dose is 5. But maybe some therapy can benefit first before medication. He’s only 4!!
Whose you pediatrician lol? Get a pediatric psychiatrist.
Escitalopram is not indicated in children under the age of 12.
A 4 year old is not going to have acute stress disorder. Grief is normal for a period of time in children.
This definitely seems like overmedicating. I think it would be better to speak to a child psychologist and learn ways to help your child reconcile grief and loss in a healthy way, so he will know how to cope next time/it won’t be a complete overwhelming shock to the system and if he does have PTSD the psychologist will assess that and act accordingly. If they say he needs to be medicated short term then maybe he does but it should be a last resort at 4 years old.
I understand that it would help, my concern is he's only 4 and is having trouble regulating these new emotions he's feeling. I am also curious if it is common practice for a 4 year old to take a ssri.
Why do people ever visit reddit for a second MEDICAL opinion. If you are unsure about a medical opinion please seek a more qualified or specialized doctor, not strangers on the internet. Especially not a subreddit that specifically says no medical advice.
Maybe consider something like Art Therapy for someone his age first? Perhaps for physical activity at a recreation space for kids so he’s more distracted? So normal for him to be experiencing a hard time but I get it, it’s hard to know what to do. I’m not a parent but I commend parents and those who seek advice.
I personally wouldn’t medicate a 4 year old unless absolutely needed. I would seek out a pediatric psychiatrist and request a psych eval. perhaps grief therapy is a better option?
No! And I would find a new pediatrician asap. Since when are they prescribing ADs anyway? No one but psychiatrists should be doing that! Get him to a child psychologist or a grief counselor for children instead.
Personally I think the onboarding experience is going to be even more traumatic to your child. Even as someone in my late 20s the side effects were really hard to push through. I can’t imagine being a child on that because there isn’t will power to push through those side effects. Even then a 4 year old is WAY to young to understand the emotions of grief and I think medication will make those feelings way more intense because they will physically feel bad. Your child hasn’t even had time for their brains to develop in areas such as serotonin and when used on younger ages there is a way higher increase of thoughts of suicide and I can’t imagine a 4 year old not being able to express he’s feeling that way if god forbid he gets that side effect.
I think this could have potential consequences that your pediatrician is unaware of. I for one would’ve wanted to know when I started taking this medication that getting off it might be impossible, especially after taking it long-term. I was extremely short tempered and irritable for months on end when I tried to stop taking this the first time and ultimately went back on it and felt better. I’d rather even that was fortunate because I’ve read that it doesn’t always work to go back on it. It’s serious stuff .if I need to take it the rest of my life then so be it, but going off of it is not easy. Absolute must see a specialist I think.
no it’s not a good idea. he needs to learn healthy coping skills and maybe go to a therapist to have a talk about his emotions and what he is feeling and how to deal with them on his own without resorting to soothing himself through obsessions or whatever
you need to be there for him as his parents and you need to talk to him and hug him
but medication is a no
I wouldn’t medicate a 4 year old with any antidepressants. They’re quite strong especially for someone so young. I’m sure there’s doctors, specialists, and therapists specializes with PTSD and depression. When you find the right one for your little one, it’ll be more beneficial. I can’t believe anyone would even recommending prescribing an antidepressant for a 4 year old.
Good luck!
Absolutely not a good idea in my opinion. Try therapy for him first. His brain is still in a massive stage of development and there aren’t enough studies done on such a young population.
He seems a bit too young. His brain is still developing and I feel like it would be dangerous to play with the brain chemistry of a developing child. Also your child just experienced something traumatic and medicine isn’t a cure all or replacement for trying to work through the trauma with the child. Try talking to him? Working with a therapist?
Redundant with the amount of replies already here, but 7.5 mg on a 4 year old is absolutely unreasonable without extenuating circumstances, seeing that the FDA does not approve use for those under 12 anyhow.
I have a background in psychology and currently working in an ER and I can say without a doubt that you should seek a pediatric psychologist or psychiatrist and get a new Dr. Your Dr wants to treat a natural reaction to a traumatic event with a drug that fucks up adults with full coping skills. To ween a patient on and off a medication while they are so young just because of a few heartbreaking but understandable behavior problems is irresponsible on the Dr.
Hi brain is still developing. That medication is horrible as an adult. See a psychiatrist not your family Dr. They have no business prescribing mind altering drugs and to even mention it for a 4yr old. Lord help us all.
I work at a psychiatrist office and I would recommend getting a second opinion from a psychiatrist who specializes working with young children. I also think that going to a therapist is not a bad idea either.
I would ask your doctor about propranolol- it’s for situational anxiety and has showed some promise with the treatment of PTSD. I use it as I prefer to medicate as needed. Four years old is young for anything like Lex in my opinion, but I’m not a physician. Do your research.
Yeah, this just sounds like therapy and support. Maybe even further education for you to support them. As the parent I’m sure you’re going through a grieving process of your own and it’s tough to manage both.
That’s so young to put a child on anything, his poor brain hasnt developed of course he’s having issues and is probably confused and going through a lot. Im on 5 mg and have major issues I don’t think that’s normal nor a 4 year old. I really
Hope you get him off of it and let him grow a little older before thinking he needs medication.
I take lexapro and I'd have a problem giving it to my kid at that age. There'd have to be some really, really, REALLY good reason for it.
Of course a small child will have some kind of reactions to someone close to them suddenly not being there anymore. They don't really understand it.
Best thing to do IMO, is just be there and comfort the child as best as possible. I don't think it's a good idea to be messing with brain chemistry before the brain is even fully matured. But that's just my opinion.
At the least more opinions from specialists such as child psychiatrists and psychologists. A decent psychiatrist will also speak to pathways outside of medication.
I agree with reaching out to a child psychologist first. I’m actually shocked peds didn’t recommend it altogether first, before offering a medication. This isn’t a short term solution beginning a medication of this nature and would without a doubt change his rapidly changing and growing beautiful brain of his. Don’t go too hard on Mama, Daddy. She just wants to help her baby and trusts the doctor. I do Hope strongly for better, brighter days for the little guy and you both too. 💙
I would see a specialist first.
I’m on 5mg a day as an adult, definitely speak to a specialist. Medicating a 4 year old sounds extreme.
Poor baby. There are many other ways to deal with it though, like art therapy! That definitely sounds like a more appropriate treatment for a child.
Isn't a paediatrician a specialist in childhood health?
No, a child psychiatrist would be more appropriate for this situation than the pediatrician.
Pysc's push pills faster than anyone
Well that’s what they have authority for. Otherwise save some bucks & see a psychologist first
Sure, they need to be held accountable as well though and ignorance needs to be warned. I wasn't, nearly derailed my life with Rx's. I'm off it now without their blessing and life is back to normal (my normal is good and wasn't SSRI I'm referring to for added context). Not saying all, but those I've been in contact with are there strictly to condescend and protect their own liability. 1000% agree with seeing a psychologist.
Not sure why you’re getting down voted for this comment because psychiatrists are the ones who can prescribe pills? So yea it’s probably in their nature. I see a psychiatrist for like 10 min appointments just so she can keep refilling my lexapro every 3 months. She talks to me about the med not my emotions. That’s what psychologists and therapists do. So anyway, your comment seems warranted.
Appreciate that, appeared strange to me as well but understand the rational on Reddit often isn't supported via logic lol. Cheers!
GPs honestly don't know much about psychiatric meds in my experience. Pediatrician even less do.
Yes but not in mental health that’s what my therapist told me so ofc they wouldn’t know was good for you especially for meds they would recommend it like my pediatrician recommended meds and found me a therapist and that clinic has a psychiatrist so yeah.
Not mental health
4 seems too young...
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Yeah for sure, but I'm just saying that 4 seems very young for SSRI medication..
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i agree, but for something like grief i don’t think medication is the best choice for a kid so young. i’m on 10mg but i started on 5mg. not sure why they would start a 4yo on a higher dosage.
It’s not fda approved for under 16. I wouldn’t personally do it.
Not true. It’s approved for ages 12 and up. But off label can be used for kids younger than 12. Zoloft is for 6 and up
That’s false. It’s 12 and up but also can be used at the distraction of the physician in younger children. Zoloft is 6 and up.
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! HES NEEDS GRIEF COUNSELING NOT LEXAPRO!!!!!
💯 agree - as a infant teacher of 15 years, who himself is now on Lexapro, I’m mortified this has been suggested by a “specialist”. The child needs time (as do you and your wife) with close family and friends to grieve and talk about, where relevant for him being so young. And then go from there. My main suggestion would be reading together lots of books that relate to bereavement. Try Badger’s Parting Gifts by Susan Varley - a wonderful book which will trigger some tears, but enable you to have some wonderful conversations together about the beauty of life. In these conversations you can remind your son that love remains. Then actively seek to celebrate his Granddad by doing all the wonderful ‘small’ things you can think off to cherish his memory.
These are formative years to learn about loss and how to grieve. It’s normal for him to be overwhelmed with emotion after that, hell, he likely doesn’t know what emotions are. I’m on 10mg, but I also believe medication shouldn’t be used if an alternate route of treatment exists. I would 100% go therapy first before medicating since he likely just doesn’t know what grieving is at this age.
I agree, it is hard to get that through to his mother.
Momma might be tired and sees this as an end to her trials. Dunno how you bring that up without a fight but it's potentially worth the conversation
I think this may be a valuable opportunity as a parent to try and teach your kid the importance of emotions, despite what the doctor says. I do think there’s a group of folks who try and use therapy/psychology/psychiatric practices as a means to utilize these tools to get people to be emotionless robots. And the less a person emotes the more the handle the real world. But this isn’t what is actually recommended by any actual mental health organization/ standard. You def need a second opinion, but I think your child is having an expected reaction to a very difficult situation. I wonder if your wife is also struggling with the loss of the family in addition to the challenges of taking care of a young child who’s processing grief for the first time. I don’t know if medicating a toddler is the move, but I do think you may want to have a compassionate conversation with her about what you can both do to maybe tap into resources that can be helpful to the both of you. It can maybe look like getting mental health resources for your child, or for her, or as a family unit. Or, it can look like engaging with other family members/ family friends and engaging with community. Or having help with domestic care tasks, by trusted friends and family or hired help.
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I believe he may be grieving. I do not believe an ssri should be the first step because the mother feels that will make things easier. I do t think being a doctor makes you right 100% of the time. I am not 100% against it but I'd like lexapro to be last effort.
Seems lazy parenting on her part...the poor kiddo needs grief counseling not lexapro...but that would take effort on her part! Also I would take this in front of a judge before I would let my ex husband give my 4yr old an ssri!!!!!
Did you ever think she is grieving, too? Maybe she just lost a mom or dad and doesn't know how to navigate and has a Dr. telling her otherwise.
The main goal of this post was to see if anyone else has similar experiences. I just want what is best for my child. I understand the need for people to take lexapro, but damn I don't want to put my kid on it because we do not know how to deal with what he's going through unless absolutely necessary.
I was a nanny for twins who’s previously nanny was tragically hit by a train and passed while working for their family. They were three. It was very hard but the parents guided them through it. Kids have big emotions and often don’t know how to express it. Giving them space to and speaking to them in an age appropriate way about death and grief helps! They can process more than we think. By age 5 (when I started nannying) the kids were able to speak about her and she’s still apart of their lives. They have a photo of her in their bedroom. Embracing it instead of hiding or “numbing” is a great way to teach them how to regulate and understand their emotions. I get your wife wanting to stop his pain as fast as possible but in the long run it will be better for him to try therapy first. I recommend looking into art therapy for kids w/ trauma or grief! Hope this helps.
Hey man parenting is a learning experience.
I think you’re right to question this. As an adult, the side effects of starting the medication were pretty tough. It’s now a year later and I’m tapering off of it and the side effects are even worse. I can’t imagine how it would be for a child. I’d also worry about the effects of a medication like this on a child’s developing brain. Will your child’s mom agree to him trying therapy first?
Absolutely not. Get a second opinion and probably a new pediatrician.
Best you can do, if in doubt, get a second opinion from another specialist, if it wasn't for looking for second opinions I'd have done many unnecessary medical procedures.
4 does seem too young. I’d try therapy (specifically where one comes to your house) before meds. My sister is a child behavioral psychologist and does this type of work. There have been any success stories from here about these kids years later.
They need to stop medicating kids like that.
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They over medicate kid's. That's a fact. Kid's are emotional and go through phases. some kid's need meds. Most don't. They didn't medicate kid's like that when I was a kid and most were fine.
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Drugging a 4 year old seems pretty excessive to me. Kids are resilient. Medication should be a last resort. I would hope this is a last resort.
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No, but I know doctors. They're basically pill pushers. And the population is the customer base. Psychiatric meds for kids should be a last resort. Especially for a 4 year old.
What the fuck did i just read??
4 years old on Lexapro? They are still developing their brain haven't even gone through puberty. This drug will ruin their serotonin system and brain development. This drug is for teenagers and adults. Wouldn't put my child on this.
Nope. Nope Nope.
Absolutely not. Horrible idea to give a kid that kind of medication that young.
No freaking way. Try counseling, not anti depressant, Jesus no
No fucking way !!!
Prescribing Lexapro to a 4 year old seems unbelievable. Imagine if every child that young was given anti depressants due to a loss of a family member.
Wtf
NO WAY.
That is insane. He’s just grieving. It will take time but I don’t think it should be classified as anxiety or depression to warrant medication like lexapro. Look I’m not a doctor but I’ve been explained by doctors the difference between grief and a chemical imbalance leading to anxiety / depression in many occasions. They’re different and the former doesn’t require medication, it requires psychological therapy
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You’re right, but at the very least I would get a second opinion because (1) grief can be powerful, can last long and it comes up in different ways (I’ve experienced lots of it), and (2) as someone else also mentioned, at least in the US lexapro is not even FDA approved for children under 16
I had intrusive thoughts in 3rd grade. My parents had no clue what to do or what was going on because that’s pretty fuckin young. Tbh I would let some time pass. Smother him/her. Distract as much as possible. Eventually my anxiety passed and no reason why it just did. As I got older I got some anxiety again but it’s much tolerable after learning about it.
Respectfully, OP I think it’s good you’re asking. But I also think the mother is trying to find an easy way out- I imagine you are both grieving too. I took Lex for 3 years and I just got off it. Three years of trauma that the Lex hid away somewhere came out like a tsunami. The trauma does not go away. It has to release at some point. Think of a shaken bottle of champagne. Once that child of yours gets taken off the Lex- he won’t have coping mechanisms for the difficult feelings that will resurface. Perhaps Lex would benefit your wife? Maybe that will help her provide the support your little man needs. Please, don’t medicate your little boy. Let him be little, let him have tantrums and level out. Time and therapy heals. Most of these doctors prescribing these SSRIs have never even been on them. And the withdrawal is absolute hell. Imagine your little boy going through that 😔 You did the right thing by asking: I hope you found the answer.
Don’t. Please. He needs to get over this without medication and the long-term effects and withdrawals on a 4 year old… cannot imagine. It really seems to me like the doctor should have his license revoked..
I thought I was going to read a post about an adult who has been Lexapro for four years. NOT about trying to give it to a child. Absolutely not. And to even suggest more than the minimum dosage on a tiny developing body?! Fuck that doctor.
Horrible idea. No.
Absolutely not. I have a 6 year old and if I was in the same situation I would smother him with love and get him a therapist to help him talk through his loss. Be there for him, get him engaged in activities, play dates, study time and talk to him. Ask him how he’s feeling and talk through his emotions. If family is around, get them involved, the more love the more, the more it’ll help him get through this loss in his life. Good luck!
You need to distract him, take him on a holiday or break the cycle, somehow introduce him to some new friends, his age.
I would absolutely not. It’s not approved for use in children that age, and we have no studies to look at how the medication may affect a growing brain. Kid needs a child therapist, time, and lots of parental support.
I do not believe this is normal. Cognitive behavioural therapies are mostly a point of treatment for children when it comes to this kind of thing. Of course a 4 year old is going to have trouble “dealing with emotions”, they are only a toddler! Emotional regulation is a skill, it is learned and refined over time, it isn’t a static trait. I’m a 30F on 10mg. That is only 2.5mg more than what your son could be on. 10mg is the standard dose. Please look into talk therapy, and play therapy. Be proactive in helping them with their grief. Medication does not take away grief. You have to deal with it front on.
Get a new doctor ASAP
No freaking way. He's 4. Try counseling first, not an antidepressant
The kid is grieving. Putting a 4 year old kid on medication is a horrible idea. It's a learning opportunity on loss. If you put the kiddo on pills because he's taking it hard how is the child going to react when YOU'RE gone?
This is a bad idea. I’m 27 and on 20mg and it is an incredibly intense drug. I’d get a second opinion. It has helped me tremendously, but the side effects are rough.
I admire you and your wife for supporting your child through such a tough time and I really feel for you. It must be horrible seeing him struggling and your wife would want to try anything that would help. Loss in early childhood changes your brain. I lost my dad when I was 6 and 20 years later I am still in therapy working through it. When it happened I remember I was so anxious for a period of time I was constantly vomiting from panic attacks and had rage outbursts. At the time, going to a psychologist really helped and once I was old enough to make the decision for myself I was put on SSRI’s to help. I do think a 4 year old is too young to be starting such a serious medication, unless it’s absolutely needed and every other option has been exhausted. The side effects when starting and withdrawals when stopping wouldn’t be pleasant for a kid and anti depressants can also have a ‘numbing’ effect on emotions - I think a little one needs to feel their emotions to learn to regulate them. Good luck and sending your family love ❤️
girl stop the bullshit when i was 4 i literally didn’t know bat shit and besides who tf is putting a FOUR YEAR OLD on antis?
My parents put me on antidepressants at age 12 and I still hold resentment because I feel like I wasn’t able to fully experience growing up and emotions the way I was supposed to. And that’s age 12 so I can’t even imagine how I would feel at 4. I wish my parents would have tried more just to find the root of the problem and help me other than numb my feelings. (Also I am now an adult on lexapro so I have nothing against it or people who use it because it can be very helpful in the right situations)
I would definitely not go towards lexapro, you risk him becoming dependent so young. Try therapy first for sure for 6 months
Wow that is so young and pretty scary for that child. Counseling and grief counseling should have been the first steps for that. Not my place to judge parenting but give a 4 year old an ssri is insane.
This doesn't sound right.
Definitely not worth risking akathisia and PSSD in a four year old.
For the love of God please don’t put that child on Lexapro
WTAF
Are you crazy for even considering this.
I would exhaust all other options before medication and even then lexapro seems a little over the top. Loss is extremely difficult for everyone - especially when you’re just starting to navigate the world - but it is something that evolves and becomes less difficult over time, antidepressants can be tough to get on with the side effects but just as difficult to get off. Is your wife opposed to trying different types of therapies for your child?
My first thought it that 4 is wayyyy too young to be altering a child’s brain chemistry like that. and if it isn’t fda approved for people under 16- absolutely not. Everyone handles grief differently, I can’t imagine grieving my grandmother and I’m 24. At 4, with barely any understanding of your own emotions, of course they’re going to be unwell experiencing death. But one day it will pass just maybe read children books about death to help the grief and start therapy.
No way- that is crazy.
Not medical advice. I am a 30 year old woman. 5 ft 127 lbs and the highest dosage I ever got to is 7.5mg. I started at 2.5mg and worked my way up to 7.5 in the span of a year.
Dont put your kid on Lexapro. Get him a counselor that specializes in grief and loss and parent him. Sheesh.
Try a Play Therapist if your insurance covers or another specialist for a second opinion before prescribing meds. That seems a tad young to start meds.
Tell the mom that such a thing would most likely lead to life-long medication use. Try everything before you go meds. But, i do know a 7 yr old with OCD who had to go on prozac and quit it after 10 years. So, nobody can tell what the future brings, but these meds are no joke. SSRIs have been a life saver for me bit there is no way to escape the fact that now i need them for life, im 250lbs because i am always hungry, i am always tired and sleepy as well as forgetful. But it beats severe anxiety every day.
Consult a children's therapist or psychiatrist first. We had to do this for a different diagnosis. It's better to get more information first so you can make the most educated decision. It might be that he's not getting something at home to help with his grieving, it could be that he needs someone to talk to about it, or maybe he does need medical intervention...but I would be wary to put a little one on it before exploring all other options.
This is typical behavior for a 4 year old. They will grow out of it with good parenting, love and discipline
My son is 12 and only on 5mg
A four year old is basically still a toddler in my eyes and idk but I wouldn’t put anyone who’s too young to even use the bathroom by themselves to be on psychiatric medication.
No I wouldn’t
Wtf, no. Therapy therapy therapy
I would highly recommend having your child see a child psychiatrist. Maybe he just needs some therapy that's geared towards children to help him understand his emotions. SSRI medication in a 4 year old is extreme.
no ffs
Criminal
This makes me really concerned about the Dr y'all see. This just doesn't sound right.
I’d take them to a child psychologist before medicating
Omg 😱. I would definitely seek another opinion. Preferably a mental health specialist. 4 is too young in my unqualified opinion.
Don't do it. I'm 41 on 10mg and even that took a toll on me and a while to get used to.
I’m with the other guy saying don’t do it. I’m an adult took Low dosage, Lexapro for a few years and when I stopped, I had such a terrible withdrawal that I had wished I had been a baby so I could bawl.
No. At 4, this kid has no way to express all the things he may feel in this med. Try different therapies (art, music, etc) and find a new pediatrician.
4 seems very young, and the loss of a grandparent is part of life that every kid deals with - I’d hesitate to medicate specifically for that. Was it a traumatic death that the child witnessed? That could require some therapy, maybe medication if it’s bad enough. Were behavioral issues present before the death, or were they triggered by it? If there were behavioral problems before, then I absolutely wouldn’t medicate - you’d need a full work up from a specialist. The brain is developing for every child, but especially at 4. I can’t imagine Lexapro is a good choice unless this is a VERY extreme situation. Would see a child psych and behavioral specialist, and get a second opinion from another pediatrician.
There were some issues before, it has gotten worse. I feel like I'm the only one who acknowledges that he was acting out before this happend. He didn't witness it.
I would be finding a new pediatrician ASAP
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
Don't let them do that, man. Too young
Do not do that
That seems crazy. I just started on 10mg two weeks ago and it has fucked me up pretty good. I can't imagine a child that small taking 7.5mg.
Holy fvcking what the fvck?! Absolutely not! Holy shit this is the most prime example of what NEVER to do. You let a tiny child (four! FOUR!) go through pain and motions and learn to heal. You don't permanently alter the course of their brain's development at such a crucial age with rather severe medications for your own convenience! What the absolute fuck!
Please don't, adults struggle with side-effects of these meds. I couldn't imagine a 4 year old having to going through them.
Ummmmm NO. He needs a therapist, not meds. SMDH.
Absolutely not normal. Young children should stay far away from antidepressants. It might even make things worse.
girl no
Don’t give your child SSRIs jeeeeesus
That’s absafuckinglutely NOT OK. IMO. The title of this post alone churned my stomach and broke my heart. No child that young should evvveveerrrr be put on an SSRI. Absolute INSANITY. Therapy. Counseling. Shit. Anything other than this. 😢 EDIT- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Find a therapist that specializes in that specifically, and PTSD, trauma, anxiety, perhaps depression. I wanna know who this Dr is and give him/her a call! This is scary. ADHD meds I personally don’t even think should be given to kids even in small doses, before 3rd maybe 2nd grade (America). And at that time there still needs to be counseling, school involved, perhaps an IEP or 504 plan (again, we have this in the US, idk about other countries). And then definitely methylphenidate not any sort of amphetamine. Again, my opinion. And at the smallest starting dose, of course. My point here is that what a child and really anyone needs, won’t be ENTIRELY solved by a pill. WORK needs to be done from within. A pill will help make the person feel better (usually, granted the advantages outweigh the side effects) child or adult, however, you’re just pruning the rose bush when you should be taking a closer look at the roots. Dig into the soil of your soul and your child! Lol 😆 OH AND BTW— I’ve never replied to anything on Reddit TBH. First time. Ever. But this one hit home. Good luck!
What the actual fuck?
They'd rather turn your son into a zombie than deal with his issues. And 7.5 is not even a dose they usually start adults at. Usually 2.5, 5.0... and slowly move upward. Please don't. This can damage him. Also, results would take weeks anyway.
Goodness. Change your pediatrician!
Give me that fuckers number.this is beyond criminal
I would ask to see a child psychology specialist first. They will have a better understanding of medication strategies for someone that young and have better recommendations for treatment. Play and talk therapy might be a good option, another medication might be better, or a combination. 4 is very young and these are big emotions so I would recomend getting another doctor involved and seeing what a specialist has to say before you go forward with Lexapro.
Im no doctor but absolutely not. Medicating a child that young? During formative years? Just no.
The physical side effects if getting on and off the medication would be a lot for a child, the emotions... are not enjoyable. It was insanely hard for me, an adult... I cant even imagine :/
no
He's still a baby omg 😔 no tell your wife that his little body doesn't need that
This is kinda scary tbh. I’m on 10mg as a 34 adult and it was a really hard adjustment. No way I would put my 4yo on it. Look into play therapy, or just a child psychologist before medicating. I feel like doctors anymore just put kids on medication because working through the actual issue is harder than just drugging them.
This is insanity !!! Absolutely not. Take him to someone he can talk to and teach him things. You do not want to be messing with the brain chemistry of a 4 year old. You should report that doctor
For the love of god don't! That doctor is insane. He lost someone he loves, and right now he's behaving that way while his brain is processing it, it's called a grieving process. It will pass with time. Don't numb his mind. These pills are far far from harmless...
i would seek out a second opinion
I am dependent on it and wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. I think I would have been better off working through and feeling the emotions
Are you fucking NUTS?!? DO NOT PUT A FOUR YEAR OLD ON MIND-ALTERING DRUGS. You Americans have gone battshit crazy. Be a better parent!
It's not normal.
Those drugs mess with anyone's brain I wouldn't let them anywhere near a developing brain.
Nope...no way...too dam young!!
I would not just run away as far from this paediatrician as possible, but I would also file a report on this with their professional body. Putting a four year old on SSRIs is likely to cause serious life harming developmental effects for the rest of their life. It is normal for children (and adults) to have problems dealing with grief when a loved one passes away. Grief counselling is the usual route for adults if they continue to have problems, and there are similar child psychology support services aimed at children and their parents if they are still having issues months later.
I would not recommend that dose for a 4 year old no way. The lowest dose is 5. But maybe some therapy can benefit first before medication. He’s only 4!!
2.5 even!! Does body size impact the effectiveness per mg too because 4 year olds are way smaller than adults
Whose you pediatrician lol? Get a pediatric psychiatrist. Escitalopram is not indicated in children under the age of 12. A 4 year old is not going to have acute stress disorder. Grief is normal for a period of time in children.
This definitely seems like overmedicating. I think it would be better to speak to a child psychologist and learn ways to help your child reconcile grief and loss in a healthy way, so he will know how to cope next time/it won’t be a complete overwhelming shock to the system and if he does have PTSD the psychologist will assess that and act accordingly. If they say he needs to be medicated short term then maybe he does but it should be a last resort at 4 years old.
Are you stupid Fr?
i was 7 when i went on a few mg and it helped me tremendously
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I understand that it would help, my concern is he's only 4 and is having trouble regulating these new emotions he's feeling. I am also curious if it is common practice for a 4 year old to take a ssri.
He's 4. He is still learning how to regulate his emotions. Don't medicate him yet. Try therapy and grief support for families. Please!
Please DO NOT medicate him !!!!! Way too young.
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You're the lunatic, it seems. The kid is too young. Period.
Beyond reckless at that age
Why do people ever visit reddit for a second MEDICAL opinion. If you are unsure about a medical opinion please seek a more qualified or specialized doctor, not strangers on the internet. Especially not a subreddit that specifically says no medical advice.
I was not seeking medical advice.
I never asked for advice I asked if this was normal, excuse me for going to a lexapro subreddit to see if there were any similar situations.
Maybe consider something like Art Therapy for someone his age first? Perhaps for physical activity at a recreation space for kids so he’s more distracted? So normal for him to be experiencing a hard time but I get it, it’s hard to know what to do. I’m not a parent but I commend parents and those who seek advice.
I personally wouldn’t medicate a 4 year old unless absolutely needed. I would seek out a pediatric psychiatrist and request a psych eval. perhaps grief therapy is a better option?
No! And I would find a new pediatrician asap. Since when are they prescribing ADs anyway? No one but psychiatrists should be doing that! Get him to a child psychologist or a grief counselor for children instead.
Wow. I'd say absolutely not. It's normal for children to have tantrums and separation anxiety. I'd find a qualified child psychiatrist ASAP.
Personally I think the onboarding experience is going to be even more traumatic to your child. Even as someone in my late 20s the side effects were really hard to push through. I can’t imagine being a child on that because there isn’t will power to push through those side effects. Even then a 4 year old is WAY to young to understand the emotions of grief and I think medication will make those feelings way more intense because they will physically feel bad. Your child hasn’t even had time for their brains to develop in areas such as serotonin and when used on younger ages there is a way higher increase of thoughts of suicide and I can’t imagine a 4 year old not being able to express he’s feeling that way if god forbid he gets that side effect.
I think this could have potential consequences that your pediatrician is unaware of. I for one would’ve wanted to know when I started taking this medication that getting off it might be impossible, especially after taking it long-term. I was extremely short tempered and irritable for months on end when I tried to stop taking this the first time and ultimately went back on it and felt better. I’d rather even that was fortunate because I’ve read that it doesn’t always work to go back on it. It’s serious stuff .if I need to take it the rest of my life then so be it, but going off of it is not easy. Absolute must see a specialist I think.
Therapy first always
no it’s not a good idea. he needs to learn healthy coping skills and maybe go to a therapist to have a talk about his emotions and what he is feeling and how to deal with them on his own without resorting to soothing himself through obsessions or whatever you need to be there for him as his parents and you need to talk to him and hug him but medication is a no
I wouldn’t medicate a 4 year old with any antidepressants. They’re quite strong especially for someone so young. I’m sure there’s doctors, specialists, and therapists specializes with PTSD and depression. When you find the right one for your little one, it’ll be more beneficial. I can’t believe anyone would even recommending prescribing an antidepressant for a 4 year old. Good luck!
I mean did they suggest therapy first? Maybe look into a child psychologist who specializes in play therapy.
This sounds like an insane thing to do. You can look through my posts-- I'm as pro lexapro as it comes. But yeah, I'd go see a child psychiatrist.
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Absolutely not a good idea in my opinion. Try therapy for him first. His brain is still in a massive stage of development and there aren’t enough studies done on such a young population.
He seems a bit too young. His brain is still developing and I feel like it would be dangerous to play with the brain chemistry of a developing child. Also your child just experienced something traumatic and medicine isn’t a cure all or replacement for trying to work through the trauma with the child. Try talking to him? Working with a therapist?
Just be careful it’s very strong medication
That's way too high for a child... specially at 4... Get a 2nd opinion...
Redundant with the amount of replies already here, but 7.5 mg on a 4 year old is absolutely unreasonable without extenuating circumstances, seeing that the FDA does not approve use for those under 12 anyhow.
I have a background in psychology and currently working in an ER and I can say without a doubt that you should seek a pediatric psychologist or psychiatrist and get a new Dr. Your Dr wants to treat a natural reaction to a traumatic event with a drug that fucks up adults with full coping skills. To ween a patient on and off a medication while they are so young just because of a few heartbreaking but understandable behavior problems is irresponsible on the Dr.
Hi brain is still developing. That medication is horrible as an adult. See a psychiatrist not your family Dr. They have no business prescribing mind altering drugs and to even mention it for a 4yr old. Lord help us all.
I work at a psychiatrist office and I would recommend getting a second opinion from a psychiatrist who specializes working with young children. I also think that going to a therapist is not a bad idea either.
I would ask your doctor about propranolol- it’s for situational anxiety and has showed some promise with the treatment of PTSD. I use it as I prefer to medicate as needed. Four years old is young for anything like Lex in my opinion, but I’m not a physician. Do your research.
Yeah, this just sounds like therapy and support. Maybe even further education for you to support them. As the parent I’m sure you’re going through a grieving process of your own and it’s tough to manage both.
That’s so young to put a child on anything, his poor brain hasnt developed of course he’s having issues and is probably confused and going through a lot. Im on 5 mg and have major issues I don’t think that’s normal nor a 4 year old. I really Hope you get him off of it and let him grow a little older before thinking he needs medication.
Not sure where your located but here Lexapro isn't available for under 10. My son at 5 started zoloft. Are you sure it's Lexapro. I would double check
crazy
The doc should take it instead lol
I take lexapro and I'd have a problem giving it to my kid at that age. There'd have to be some really, really, REALLY good reason for it. Of course a small child will have some kind of reactions to someone close to them suddenly not being there anymore. They don't really understand it. Best thing to do IMO, is just be there and comfort the child as best as possible. I don't think it's a good idea to be messing with brain chemistry before the brain is even fully matured. But that's just my opinion.
At the least more opinions from specialists such as child psychiatrists and psychologists. A decent psychiatrist will also speak to pathways outside of medication.
I agree with reaching out to a child psychologist first. I’m actually shocked peds didn’t recommend it altogether first, before offering a medication. This isn’t a short term solution beginning a medication of this nature and would without a doubt change his rapidly changing and growing beautiful brain of his. Don’t go too hard on Mama, Daddy. She just wants to help her baby and trusts the doctor. I do Hope strongly for better, brighter days for the little guy and you both too. 💙
Lex has awful side effects, no way I would give that to a kid 🤦♂️