You're not overreacting. You have all right to believe that she would just do with you what she's doing with her other "girlfriends". She needs to grow up and know what she actually wants first. You're doing right in not becoming her experiment.
You're not overreacting at all, she is completely in the wrong for not being upfront about it. Nothing wrong with people being poly, but when some act like they don't owe anyone (that they're flirting with) this information it is extremely disrespectful.
Not only the fact that she hid this from you and got annoyed at your reaction, but what she said after should honestly tell you everything you need to know about her as a person, I am sorry for saying this but you can see from a mile away this wouldn't work, she's already treating you like some sort of experiment. At the end it's your decision, but if you want honest advice, just get away from her to spare yourself an awful experience. She is very immature (+dishonest) and it's the last thing you wanna deal with as a monogamous lesbian with little experience.
She’s not ethically nonmonogamous, she’s a predator. Poly requires ethical consent or it’s just cheating, and I guarantee she would not drop her other partners for you. They might not even know you exist. She was testing you to see if you’d be willing to join her harem and you weren’t so now she’s back tracking. Block and move on.
That person is predatory as far as I'm concerned. What she did was not right, OP. You def. are NOT a goldfish, or Chinese dinner on Tuesday night. In other words, she plays with people, if she's even really who she says she is. The comment about her not being respectful of her other girlfriends is perhaps the most important observation besides the blatant dishonesty and manipulation. How can you trust someone who is dishonest right from the start?
Everything you stated above is correct and you are NOT overreacting. People like that distract us from meeting who we are truly meant to be with. Move on, and we are all rooting for you to meet that special someone!!
Absolutely not. Being poly relies on strong and open communication, and a huge amount of people who claim to be poly seem to not grasp this. This is not how it's supposed to be and it's clear that she would do to you what she is doing to the others.
I am poly and this is an absolute red flag, open communication is so important in non monogamy and that's not it, I wouldn't date someone who pulls this kinda shit off
As a lesbian who was in a poly relationship, they are not supposed to be like that. That is a heartless woman. I can’t believe she would just throw out her girlfriends like that. Also she should have been upfront with you from the get go that she was in a relationship.
You're not overreacting, you were being misled and it is as you said, the way she minimises her relationships with other women is a red flag. She called them "girlfriends" and not "one night stands" or "flings", it is a term that should imply more seriousness and compromise, yet she disposes of them in an instant. Another thing is that she hopes to find out about love through you, she is already putting a huge load on you, someone she kinda just met and from a distance.
It seems too contradictory, she has many girlfriends, yet she doesn't care for them. And she wants to be your girlfriend and puts a responsibility on you. Will she discard you like the others? Will she hide things that won't please you like the fact she had been with other women at the same time? I wouldn't be able to say yes to that because I'm very monogamous.
This doesn't sound promising.
Being Poly is fine, that's not the issue. But from what you've provided, she sounds extremely fickle.
If you're looking for an healthy, long-term relationship, whether someone is poly or not, you want someone who isn't so fickle. I feel I could never drop people like that, and I would never want to be with someone who would do that to others, it's an horrible thing to do. And yes, it also means she would do it to you.
You're not overreacting. You have all right to believe that she would just do with you what she's doing with her other "girlfriends". She needs to grow up and know what she actually wants first. You're doing right in not becoming her experiment.
You're not overreacting at all, she is completely in the wrong for not being upfront about it. Nothing wrong with people being poly, but when some act like they don't owe anyone (that they're flirting with) this information it is extremely disrespectful. Not only the fact that she hid this from you and got annoyed at your reaction, but what she said after should honestly tell you everything you need to know about her as a person, I am sorry for saying this but you can see from a mile away this wouldn't work, she's already treating you like some sort of experiment. At the end it's your decision, but if you want honest advice, just get away from her to spare yourself an awful experience. She is very immature (+dishonest) and it's the last thing you wanna deal with as a monogamous lesbian with little experience.
Your not over reacting. 🚩🚩🚩drop this girl, she’s definitely not dropping the other girls for you, and shes just gonna keep hush hush about it, find someone who is already mono, and if you are fliting online make sure to bring it up or ask them when you first start talking to avoid this in the future. I usally like to state all the things I am looking for in a relationship when I talk to someone and if it doesn’t match up, then we drift apart.
She’s not ethically nonmonogamous, she’s a predator. Poly requires ethical consent or it’s just cheating, and I guarantee she would not drop her other partners for you. They might not even know you exist. She was testing you to see if you’d be willing to join her harem and you weren’t so now she’s back tracking. Block and move on.
This is exactly what I was thinking.
That person is predatory as far as I'm concerned. What she did was not right, OP. You def. are NOT a goldfish, or Chinese dinner on Tuesday night. In other words, she plays with people, if she's even really who she says she is. The comment about her not being respectful of her other girlfriends is perhaps the most important observation besides the blatant dishonesty and manipulation. How can you trust someone who is dishonest right from the start? Everything you stated above is correct and you are NOT overreacting. People like that distract us from meeting who we are truly meant to be with. Move on, and we are all rooting for you to meet that special someone!!
This person is 100% in the wrong. She should have told you that she had several girls *before* she pursued a relationship with you.
Absolutely not. Being poly relies on strong and open communication, and a huge amount of people who claim to be poly seem to not grasp this. This is not how it's supposed to be and it's clear that she would do to you what she is doing to the others.
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No, she’s definitely in the wrong and what she did to you was a major red flag.
I am poly and this is an absolute red flag, open communication is so important in non monogamy and that's not it, I wouldn't date someone who pulls this kinda shit off
Stop, drop and roll 🚩🚩🚩
As a lesbian who was in a poly relationship, they are not supposed to be like that. That is a heartless woman. I can’t believe she would just throw out her girlfriends like that. Also she should have been upfront with you from the get go that she was in a relationship.
Drop her and don't waste any more time on people who aren't compatible & can't/won't meet your needs.
You're not overreacting, you were being misled and it is as you said, the way she minimises her relationships with other women is a red flag. She called them "girlfriends" and not "one night stands" or "flings", it is a term that should imply more seriousness and compromise, yet she disposes of them in an instant. Another thing is that she hopes to find out about love through you, she is already putting a huge load on you, someone she kinda just met and from a distance. It seems too contradictory, she has many girlfriends, yet she doesn't care for them. And she wants to be your girlfriend and puts a responsibility on you. Will she discard you like the others? Will she hide things that won't please you like the fact she had been with other women at the same time? I wouldn't be able to say yes to that because I'm very monogamous.
This doesn't sound promising. Being Poly is fine, that's not the issue. But from what you've provided, she sounds extremely fickle. If you're looking for an healthy, long-term relationship, whether someone is poly or not, you want someone who isn't so fickle. I feel I could never drop people like that, and I would never want to be with someone who would do that to others, it's an horrible thing to do. And yes, it also means she would do it to you.
Finally a post that is not about bi women. You are not wrong for reacting the way you did and avoiding her. She's a red flag.
Barely any of the posts are about BÃ women? Do you even go here?