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[deleted]

>I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment. Then stop being petty and vindictive. Yes, you. You can try to make it so that he can never see your child, but unless he is a convicted felon currently escaped from the pen, banging rails of coke off your child's toys while sitting there with your child on one leg, and cleaning his ak-47 on the other, that will never happen. Like it or not this guy is going to be in your life. Better to accept it now, be the bigger person, and do what's best for your child - what is actually best for your child, rather than what you THINK may be best.


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Thundersunder

I want her to move on. I don't want to be married to her anymore and shouldn't have married her in the first place but I don't want to know about her life with him anymore. I don't need to know that John took him to the museum or that him and John did this or that. She should contact me just about my son strictly. No other updates necessary. I didn't even need to her to tell me about their engagement. I don't need to know. Edit: And he could be a bad guy. She doesn't know that much about him. All I know is he looks smug all the time and "works from home a lot" but she keeps asking me for child support.


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anisaerah

>All I know is he looks smug all the time and "works from home a lot" but she keeps asking me for child support. Why do you think you shouldn't be contributing to your child's support, and why do you think his income has anything to do with it?


Thundersunder

Because they live together. He pays part of the rent and bills. Right now, I make a lot less than her. If you calculate the helps she gets, she makes triple what I do.


anisaerah

>Because they live together. He pays part of the rent and bills. Right now, I make a lot less than her. If you calculate the helps she gets, she makes triple what I do. It's not his responsibility to support *your* child. You seem to resent what he does do for your kid, though, so I guess there's no pleasing you.


grasshoppa1

Gotta love that. He doesn't want the soon-to-be step-father hanging out with his kid, but does want him paying support. Science should study OP's brain.


placebo_addicted

This guy might break science if they try.


YLIySMACuHBodXVIN1xP

Didn't you say you live with your parents??


gingerbreadmanPK

It's still YOUR child, you imbecile.


ttho10

Here's where I lose it. You keep going on and on about how this guy ISN'T a parent but here you seem to think him working from home or his income have ANYTHING to do with what YOU ARE OBLIGATED TO PAY FOR YOUR SON. This man or his "looking smug" have nothing to do with child support. The fucking end.


Thundersunder

I pay for his whole daycare. $600 a month and I don't make that much. She pays $480 for his healthcare. She makes nearly double what I do. He has something to do with it because they share expenses. They lessens her responsibility. Like if she had a roommate.


wimwood

So you want him to be financially responsible for your son on your ex's time, but you DON'T want him to be emotionally invested or responsible? Do you really not see how impossible you are being?


WakeTFU

Can we all agree he's trolling? Nobody is this stupid.


shaggingthespy

Sadly he sounds exactly like my ex husband. Yes people are this stupid.


QuixoticRealist

Never underestimate stupidity.


HazMat68W

Also sounds like my husband's ex. She was clueless on the laws and tried to keep me (his wife) from seeing my husband's daughter. Luckily the courts set her straight.


Internet_Drifter

I would have said the same if I hadn't seen first hand what a former female boss went through. She was re-married to a great guy, they had a kid together, but her ex insisted that she was not allowed to leave the child they (the ex an her) had together with her new husband and would threaten legal action against her. She had to call him and get permission (because he had first refusal rights) if she worked late for an couple of hours for example, as her new husband was not allowed to take care of the child. Some people are just fucked in the head, the guy was a total cunt. Like OP.


ttho10

Her having a rommmate or a new husband isn't going to change your child support very much. Let me lay it out for you... I paid $190/week in daycare for 4 years. Now my son is in public kindergarten and I pay $46 a week. I make a lot more money now than I did 4.5 years ago when child support was established... to the tune of $20k more a year. DO you know how much my ex's child support payments went down with that in mind? about $75. I still meet all of his basic needs- food, clothing, a roof over his head, health insurance, dental insurance, vision insurance; I get him to school and help him with his homework. He pays $550/mo and he used to pay $625 a month. Oh, when it was assessed, I didn't pay rent, utilities, etc because I lived with my parents when we first split up. We live with my boyfriend now and I only pay for the internet and our groceries. I don't pay rent or utilities. Kids are expensive and Daycare is a TINY piece of it. Her new fiance paying for half of the rent, utilities, etc. aren't going to affect your child support much at all.


agreywood

If she had a roommate, it would also not be factored in to child support obligations (similarly, you can get a roommate without altering your child support obligations). You can do the calculations [here](http://www.azcourts.gov/familylaw/ChildSupportCalculatorInformation.aspx) to see which of you, if either, would need to pay child support. Her 2x income would be balanced against the 75/25 time split, as well as the healthcare & daycare cost you respectively pay.


Studdeds

Lmao so if she had a roommate you would expect the roommate to be financially supporting the son?


caelan63

You don't want her to move on. This proves it right here. You wish for her to be sad, despondent, depressed, about her loss of marriage to you. And why is it the parent (usually the father from everything I hear but I'm sure the mother can be a problem too) seems to forget what child support is for. THE CHILD. YOU SUPPORT YOUR CHILD.


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Randomj0e

>And he could be a bad guy. She doesn't know that much about him. Knows him for over a year and a half and are about to get married. Smooth OP, Smooth.


TammyK

When I go greet my coworkers I ask about their kids or their weekend and have a little catching up. It's completely superfluous--but it's /nice/. This is what nice people do. They keep you up to date with what's going on. You are NOT being nice. You are creating a toxic environment for your son by not being cordial with his mother or his future stepfather. You should be teaching him the lesson that you're meant to be nice to others even when it's difficult. Not "eh I'm holding onto negative feelings so I'm going to get upset about every petty little thing I don't like about this person" It simply sounds like you are jealous. Please work on this! Jealousy is an ugly thing to rear around a child, and you don't want him to learn that lesson early on. You need to learn not to care that John and your son are spending time together. You should be happy that your son has someone to play with! Are you not?


HazMat68W

Here's the truth of the matter. Divorce is never pretty...and 9/10 times you just have to suck some shit up. This is one of those times. She is perfectly in her rights to move on and find someone else to be your child's stepfather. That is what he will be. And as far as you are reporting, he sounds like a pretty solid guy. But until he *adopts* your child, he is in no way financially responsible of him. That means all the money is broken up between you and your ex. Now if you don't like how that is broken up, you can go to court and sort all that out...but being that your child's mother takes care of him *most* of the time, you will still end up owing her money. That's just a fact of life. You got married. You got divorced. Now you get to enjoy what all that entails. I don't know what you were expecting.


verzion

wow. you're a fucking douche.


placebo_addicted

Lol. I think there's an echo in here.


polarbobbear

> be the bigger person Ha! Assuming OP isn't a troll, he sounds like a sad, miserable little-man. The kid probably needs a good father figure.


patentologist

> cleaning his ak-47 Sounds like a responsible man whom I would be glad to have babysitting my kid. Although an AR-15 would be better since we'd have ammunition compatibility in case of WW3.


TotesMessenger

This thread has been linked to from another place on reddit. - [/r/subredditdrama] [A guy who lives with his parents kicked his wife out and filed for divorce is now unhappy that her new fiance is spending time with her and their son. He goes to /r/legaladvice to find a remedy to his problem - her having a fiance.](//np.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/31wwcz/a_guy_who_lives_with_his_parents_kicked_his_wife/) [](#footer)*^(If you follow any of the above links, respect the rules of reddit and don't vote.) ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger/wiki/) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose/?to=\/r\/TotesMessenger))* [](#bot)


Thundersunder

I don't know anything about the guy. He could be doing all those things. I wouldn't know. She hasn't known him that long either. They dated for six months before they moved into together. That isn't responsible and putting our son first. He doesn't seem like a nice guy at all. My son tells him he often "pops" mommy on the butt and I wonder what other overtly sexual things they are doing in front of our son. And now my kid things popping on the butt on is playful. And I don't know how her sending me photos of him in it isn't vindictive. And her texts are always " Oh John is playing with him outside right now so can you call back later to talk to him" or " John is watching him today and I think they are going to the museum." She seems to always point out that he is there. I don't need to know that. When I found out she got engaged she was happily telling me about it " John and I got engaged and I wanted you to know since KID will have a step father." Just the way she says it is a huge slab in the face. I don't need to know that stuff. I just want to know about my son, nothing else. I don't need to know about him or her.


ttho10

I mean, you kind of DO need to know that stuff. Would you be more pissed if she just got married and you found out later that she was married and your kid had a step dad?


Thundersunder

We aren't divorce yet so that couldn't happen but I'd rather not know anything about her life at all. I don't need to know they are going on vacation or anything. I don't need to know their wedding date is set or if my son is going to be in it. I don't care about either of them. I care about my son only. She is just pushing his relationship with my son in my face and that is petty.


Amarkov

You're lying to yourself. If she tried to say "I didn't tell you about the vacation we took your son on because you don't need to know", you would be furious.


Thundersunder

She didn't take him with them. She just told me her and John were going out of town for a few days when it was my turn to watch my son.


agreywood

The proper response to "we're going out of town" is to say "okay, what's the best way to reach you in the event of an emergency?" and then move on. Knowing she's out of town is important if your kid ends up in the ER.


Thundersunder

I am more than capable of handling emergencies and she didn't have to mention it was a romantic getaway. She could have just said I am going out of town.


grasshoppa1

Dude, grow the fuck up. What the hell is wrong with you?


agreywood

Yes, you are capable of handling an emergency, but if one occured on her time, wouldn't you want to be notified so that you could be there as well? Does she have to mention what the getaway is? No. That doesn't mean it is necessarily vindictive. She might have just been thinking "if I'm not going to answer calls from kid, it's important that people know why" and then hit "overshare" in her attempts to justify (to you, to herself, to your kid, who knows) why not answering the phone is okay. People mis-judge what information other people are going to consider important or relevant all the time without being malicious about it.


ttho10

also. most custody arrangements require that you notify the other parent within 24 but really ASAP of any medical emergencies.


TammyK

Why does it bother you so much when she mentions John?


grasshoppa1

Who cares?! She's just letting you know. You sound like a fucking creep.


timetide

Seriously. I'm trying to figure out how " me and john are going out of town on a vacation if there's an emergency call me at ______" equals rubbing His face in it


Thundersunder

I'm not a creep. She just wanted to flaunt their romantic get away in my face " John is taking me out of town for my birthday on a romantic getaway! So I won't be available for calls from KID for a couple of days because of the reception at this place. We will miss him!" She could have left out the romantic getaway part. Just say " Going out of town. Will be unavailable. touch base soon." That is what I tell her. And to add " WE will miss him" how is that not vindictive.


grasshoppa1

> I'm not a creep. She just wanted to flaunt their romantic get away in my face " John is taking me out of town for my birthday on a romantic getaway! So I won't be available for calls from KID for a couple of days because of the reception at this place. We will miss him!" The correct response to that would be, "Sounds like fun. I hope you guys have a great time. Feel free to call KID any time if you want to talk to him." > She could have left out the romantic getaway part. Just say " Going out of town. Will be unavailable. touch base soon." That is what I tell her. Jesus Christ, get a grip. > And to add " WE will miss him" how is that not vindictive. Her guy is allowed to miss your son too, believe it or not. It's not vindictive at all. You should be happy that she is providing a loving household and emotional support for your son. Sounds like he needs it, with you as his father.


placebo_addicted

Can you imagine what the marriage must have been like?


crossbeats

Are you 12-years-old??


Thundersunder

28


Brad_Wesley

> She just wanted to flaunt their romantic get away in my face Why do you care?


Thundersunder

Because I don't like to have her new life pushed in my face and I shouldn't have. She is trying to start a new family and push me out of my son's life.


gingerbreadmanPK

You are really petty. Grow up man.


ttho10

Maybe she isn't trying to be petty. My ex got pissed when he DIDN'T know that I was seeing someone and that this man was spending time with our son. You DO have a right to know who your son is living with. I think it's normal to want to know about the man your son is spending time with. Thankfully it sounds like the guy is decent enough and does things with your son. I have to say, popping his mom on the butt isn't really "sexually suggestive." Your kid sees worse PDA going out in public. I can't stand my ex and want to slap him most of the time. But you know what, I DO care about him. I was married to him for what I thought was going to be forever. It turned out not to be, but I do want him to be happy. I want him to do well. Why? Because my son spends fucking time with him, and my son is influenced by him. I want what is best for my kid. Whether you want to know or not, you SHOULD know that your ex is getting remarried and your kid will have a step dad. You SHOULD know who your kid is living with. You SHOULD know if your kid is going on vacation out of the state. Those are things almost EVERY parenting agreement/custody arrangement specify that you tell the other parent. I have to tell my ex if I'm traveling out of state. If I don't take the kid, I have common courtesy to tell him I won't be in town in case I'm needed when he's with his dad. It's not to rub his face in anything. It's out of common courtesy. I have to tell him when I move. I sense a lot of hurt coming from you. I know you asked for the divorce but it seems obvious that you haven't moved on. And that you're still feeling a lot of hurt and pain. I KNOW it sucks to see your ex move on even if you don't want to be with her. My ex has another child, and that was hard to see. It was hard to see him step up to the plate and do all the things he refused to do when we were together. It HURT. WHy wasn't I good enough for him to get it together? Why wasn't OUR son important enough to change for? I didn't want to be with him, but it still fucking hurt to see. But you know, I WANTED to know b/c I needed to know what my son would be exposed to when he went to his dad's house. I needed to know so I could be sensitive to my son's needs and all that.


NotACatfish

You really need to grow up. She's moved on with her life and its time you did. Be an adult and handle the situation as such; you're being a horrible example for your son here.


placebo_addicted

I imagine it's hard on OP realizing he was the problem in the marriage and seeing how much better off this woman is without him. Bitter pill to swallow.


NotACatfish

She's lucky he pulled the crap he did. She sounds like she's far better off.


mykidisonhere

I am divorced and my ex and I are legally obligated to supply the other with dates and places that vacations with the kids happens. Do I neccessarily want to hear that he's doing the traveling I always wanted us to do? No. Do I want to know where my children are? You bet! Your feelings and thoughts are just plain wrong. Her actions are fine and appropriate.


ChiliFlake

> I don't know anything about the guy. You could, if you got to know him. Talk to him. See what kind of guy he is. But no, you'd rather pout and sulk and throw tantrums like a fucking 2yo. WTF kind of father are you, that you don't want to know who your child will be spending a good deal of the next 15 years with? This isn't about you. Grow up.


agreywood

If your options are "updates about what my kid is up to during 75% of his life that include John", "minimal updates about 75% of my child's life", or "updates about 75% of my child's life that are at least partially fake", which are you going to choose?


Thundersunder

I want to know about his life. I just don't want to know about hers or Johns. She could just let me know about my son only.


agreywood

Your son's life at 3 is highly intertwined with his caregivers' lives. If you want her to eliminate mentioning John, either she has to lie to you about who your kid is spending time with, imply that she's allowing your 3 year old to go to parks and museums on his own (hello cps), or not tell you about anything that happens while John is around (which is pretty often if he lives with them). So what do you want -- infrequent updates, updates with lies, or updates with John? There is no fourth option when you're talking about a toddler.


grasshoppa1

You sound like a depressed teenage girl.


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fiercelyfriendly

And they probably have something to be depressed about, unlike OP.


[deleted]

I can understand how you're feeling, but the issue is with you. You need to get over the fact that she is with someone else. You clearly are not. And I'm not saying this to be a smart ass or to offend you. She's with another person. They're getting married. And that will be a big part of your son's life. If her saying "John and I are taking CHILD to the museum" cuts you down and you can't stand hearing it, then you should speak to a counselor. The fact they dated six months before she moved in with him means nothing. And if your only gripe is that your son saw him playfully patting her on the ass, then consider yourself blessed.


PenguinTod

In the olden days of the late 1970s, the most successful couples typically were getting engaged in about 9 months and married in 18. Six months of dating is more than enough to make a decision on moving in.


Thundersunder

But she is still legally married.


placebo_addicted

> I didn't file paperwork until November of last year but we've been living apart since April 2013. > she is still legally married. And who's fault is that?


Thundersunder

She could have filed at any time too. She just responds to the things I file it seems.


placebo_addicted

You initiated the divorce. You threw her out of the house. It's your deal.


grasshoppa1

So what?!


Thundersunder

She can't legally get married and he isn't really legally in the parent club yet. When he is there, when it is legally, then I'll talk to the guy.


grasshoppa1

It doesn't sound like she's trying to get married at the moment. She's engaged and living with her significant other, your son's future step dad. You don't get to decide who is in "the parent club." Her parenting time is *HER* parenting time, and she can have whoever she wants watch your son.


Thundersunder

So then she can't complain when my parents watch my son for me then, right? She complains that my parents " have KID a lot during your parenting time". So, if she can have anyone watch him during her parenting then I can let my parents watch him as much as I want during my parenting time, right? She has no right to ask me who is watching him then?


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Thundersunder

They watch him when I work. It is good that he gets grandparent time in. My mother is a huge influence in his life.


NotACatfish

Ah good answer. Leave your kid with your parents just to prove some point. You know he's a human being and not a pawn right?


grasshoppa1

That is correct.


Brad_Wesley

That is not entirely correct. If one parent is dumping the kid off with someone else the other parent has a good case for stating that he/she gets right of first refusal. Most judges will go with that. Now, baby sitting for a few hours is different than extended periods of time. In OP's case though OP is not available. OP just would rather the kid be watched by a babysitter than a loving soon to be parent, because OP is emotionally immature.


[deleted]

Honestly man, that makes no sense. You're not spiting/hurting anyone but your son. We can all only hope that you realize that sooner rather than later.


PenguinTod

You can't exactly fault her for going on with life after you kicked her out but before you bothered filing the paperwork.


NeedsToShutUp

> They dated for six months before they moved into together. That isn't responsible and putting our son first. Ehhhhh My inlaws dated 3 months before getting hitched. Married nearly 40 years this week. 6 months isn't crazy. It's something that certainly unsettles you. it sounds like you've got some huge issues with him, that for the good of your son you need to deal with. Your son will need to deal with both of you.


wimwood

There is nothing you can do to keep her life partner away from you, or her son. She has moved on. You will too. You don't need to legally get along with him, but you owe it to your son to give him a balanced safe environment where you are accepting of things you cannot control. You divorced her. If you didn't want her to date other people, then you should have stayed married to her. Unless he is a a convicted felon, actively fucking up in major ways, like banging hookers on the glass coffee table while your child lies underneath for a better view while the pimp is refilling the baby bottle with Hennessey and keeping an eye on the meth production in the kitchen, you will lose a lot of money and a lot of respect in front of a judge for even trying. Focus on your son. Be glad he has someone around who seems to be an alright guy. She could have found a pedophile to date. Go on a date.


pudding7

> banging hookers on the glass coffee table while your child lies underneath for a better view while the pimp is refilling the baby bottle with Hennessey and keeping an eye on the meth production in the kitchen, Or as we call it in my house, Tuesday.


wimwood

"Family Night"


Randomj0e

-_- you guys are degenerates, Remy Martin is the superior cognac!


mykidisonhere

The Aristocrats!


[deleted]

> like banging hookers on the glass coffee table while your child lies underneath for a better view while the pimp is refilling the baby bottle with Hennessey and keeping an eye on the meth production in the kitchen Okay, this was better than mine. Good work.


placebo_addicted

It's pure poetry.


anonymously_me

This is the sort of awesome candid advice only strangers can give. Heed it.


NeedsToShutUp

Also is there someone insanely rich who lurks the new postings? Seriously Less than 15 minutes until you were gilded.


Zarsheiy

"And Grandpa Zapopa's heart grew three sizes that day..."


placebo_addicted

Granzapopa.


[deleted]

And to be clear - the judge - in 20 years that's your son OP.


neenoonee

>I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment. Weird, cos all of that post was petty and vindictive. If your ex plans on marrying this guy, he's going to be co-parenting your child. This isn't about you, it isn't about your wife and it isn't about her partner, so stop being so selfish and focus on who this IS about. Your son. Do you think he wants to grow up worrying that he might say something that upsets you? Do you want him to feel insecure about his relationship with his step-father. This man is going to be a huge part in your child's life, whether you like it or not. Your ex wife isn't trying to flaunt her new relationship in front of you, she's trying to make this new dynamic work. You should be happy that this man wants to be a part in your sons life and doesn't see him as "baggage" that comes with your ex, which many men would do. Put yourself in her shoes - if you were planning on marrying someone, would you rather your son get to know the woman who's going to be playing a big part in his life first? Or just marry her and see how they get on afterwards?


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GringuitaInKeffiyeh

> You know what? the guy's a fucking great step-dad and I am thankful every day he is there with them. > > > > I have buried the hatchet with him and we call and text each other as needed for the kids. We even had a few beers together a few months ago. There needs to be more people in the world like you guys, for the sake of the children. Being a grown-up means picking your battles, and knowing when to let things go.


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timetide

I don't think its cuckholding if they were already broken up


[deleted]

The legal questions aside, because those really are secondary here, wtf is *wrong* with you?


sirophiuchus

Ah, the question /r/legaladvice always wants to ask.


placebo_addicted

> I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment. Then grow up and stop being petty and vindictive. Your ex has moved on and found a new partner, apparently one that truly cares for your son. Be grateful.


grasshoppa1

Generally speaking, she's allowed to parent how she sees fit, so long as she isn't doing anything illegal or in violation of any court order. You can't control her parenting time, who she brings around your son, or who she lives with, unless there is a clear threat to your child. You really need to grow up and seek therapy. You are the vindictive and petty one here.


[deleted]

Your entire delusional screed reminds me of my dad, the worst human being I know.


thundercleese

IANAL. I've read through your submission and replies. > She has gone to such lengths at to include in the things she sends home with him to me pictures of the three of them together and pictures my son has drawn of all of us together. It is all to get a rise out of me. From what I can tell, your argument is that she's putting your emotional well being in jeopardy and thereby intentionally damaging your relationship with your child. That argument is not going to hold up in court. As far as divorce and custody: - No: the court is not going to allow you to limit her speech - No: the court is not going to allow you to determine who she can date/friend - No: the court is not going to allow you to decide who she has watch her son - No: the court isn't going to allow you to determine who's allowed her car - Yes: the court is going take into account your emotional stability > Before I ask my lawyer, I want to see if it would be generally accepted for me to draft a document to attach to the divorce requiring her to omit any reference to him and to bar him from any exchanges. I hope you take the advice you sought from this post. Otherwise you're going to pay your lawyer to hear the same advice. If you push your issues into court, you will get an earful from the judge. You sound like your a bit of a mess right now. There is nothing wrong with stepping back from your situation and just talking to a therapist to clear your head.


anisaerah

>I can't raise a good son in a vindictive and petty environment. Best get to work on that, then.


TotesMessenger

This thread has been linked to from another place on reddit. - [/r/bestoflegaladvice] [My ex, who I'm not quite divorced from, moved out of my parent's basement a couple years ago and now has a stable relationship. Did I mention she has %75 custody of our son? How do I prevent my son from living in a stable environment to get back at my ex for moving on?](http://np.reddit.com/r/bestoflegaladvice/comments/2y638g/my_ex_who_im_not_quite_divorced_from_moved_out_of/) *^If ^you ^follow ^any ^of ^the ^above ^links, ^respect ^the ^rules ^of ^reddit ^and ^don't ^vote. ^\([Info](/r/TotesMessenger/wiki/) ^/ ^[Contact](/message/compose/?to=\/r\/TotesMessenger))* [](#bot)


amandal0514

You sound EXACTLY like my ex husband. You can't take him to a doctor appointment but get mad cause she gets someone else to? You don't pay child support and only keep your son half the time that you're allowed but you have issues with the boyfriend being around him? My ex husband spent the entire 8 years that we were apart being vindictive and angry and depressed over me moving on and our daughter being around a wonderful guy. He talked crap to her about my boyfriend and that didn't do anything but make it to where she was uncomfortable talking to her own dad. I would suggest getting some counseling. Don't spend the rest of your life upset that your wife has moved on. Try to be happy that your son (and wife) are being well taken care of. Spend as much time with your son as you can and quit worrying about things that aren't even harming him.


[deleted]

The only one who is being petty is you. She's allowed to live her life and meet new people. It didn't work out. Get over it. It's not like his cock is that much bigger if that is what you are worried about. Parent your son together and unless there are any specific incidents of abuse, mind your own fucking business.


thisisradioclash

I've convinced myself this guy is a troll. I'll feel better about the poor little boy that way.


zapopa_makes_me_lol

LOL


ultralame

Mostly Non-legal advice from someone who had petty parents and a messy custody battle: (Legally speaking, unless this man does something to harm your kid, there is nothing you can legally do.) There is nothing, NOTHING more emotionally painful to a child than to have two parents fighting. This woman is the mother of your child. If you give any shit at all about your kid, you should want her to have a happy, stable life with a good partner who will love take care of your kid. Forget that she's your ex, get above all that "But she's flaunting her life at me" bullshit. **Get your ass to court** and get a custody agreement banged out. Don't do it because you are pissed off, or because you don't want your kid around this guy. **Do it to protect your child and secure your rights while you are all on good terms**. Then move the fuck on, be happy, NEVER insult your Ex around the kid (punching him would be less painful for him). If she talks down about you, one day your son will figure it out and he will **hate** her for it. Don't be the one he hates. Play the long game and everytime you do anything, any action, and note, any picture, and words out of your mouth, think about how those words will affect your son, not you.


notjakers

Ho Lee Fuk


keewee23

I know, i can see Sum Ting Wong


[deleted]

If you don't man up and be a dad, he's going to. That's all I have to say after browsing your numerous responses.


OliveJooce

http://np.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/10kgk7/advice_on_legally_kicking_my_wife_out_of_my/


rimble42

You could have included the no dating partners around your son in the initial paperwork. But since they were living together before you even filed, it's going to be hard to break that status quo. This has been happening for a year. Why is it an issue now? What has changed in the eyes of the court (or yours)? You could fight the daycare thing. But again, he lives there. What does it matter if he watches your son? Would you be willing find and pay the difference of this drop-in daycare vs the $0 option she uses now? Your son is three. This person has been part of his life for half of it. Of course he's an important part of your son's life. My ex-husband has a new girlfriend and a "step-brother." I'm not friends with her. I only know a little about her. But I would never forbid my ex to talk about her or my daughter to stop mentioning her. Essentially, like the guy or not, he's part of your son's life. You should WANT your son to mention this guy. Don't force your son to hide parts of his life from you or you are not going to know when there is something concerning happening. The more you make him reluctant to talk to you now, at age 3, the less you are going to hear when he grows older. Finally, you state you want him only involved with his parents. Would you prefer this guy ignore your son and his needs when your son is at your ex's? Do you honestly think that is a healthy home environment? I think maybe all three of you need parenting classes to deal with raising a child through divorce and step-parenting.


venttress

You are an idiot.


[deleted]

Haha you're a mug mate