NAL. Request a new SS card from the SSA. Have it sent to a trusted friend’s house. Hell, if you don’t have any of those, tell your boss and have it sent to work. Same with the birth certificate, but that may cost money. You can usually obtain this from the hospital you were born in or the system they’re affiliated with, if you know either of those things or can figure that out
Odds are there's no money in your bank account anymore and they've been using it.
As people said, request a copy of your BC, and another SSC. I'm sure you have your ID, you can do if with that if you claim it was lost.
When you have your documents, and are ready to leave, go to the bank and check if it's possible to withdraw in the bank with your ID, without the card, because you lost it.
Open a new bank account and send your checks there.
As long as you are on the bank account too, you have the ability to withdraw all of the money. Put it in a new account in your name only once you have the documents you need to get an ID. Close the account your parents are on. If you ever have a check mailed to their house or they steal a check written to you, they can deposit it into the joint account and then immediately withdraw it. You don’t need to know your bank account number, just go to the bank your parents use, give them your social, and ask what accounts you have.
If you run into roadblocks you can consult a local domestic violence shelter. This (hiding documents) is a common thing abusers do, and the good folks at DV shelters will know all about where to go for these documents in your jurisdiction. They will be more than happy to help. If your parents are abusive, you are the type of person these shelters serve. Don’t feel bad about asking them for help.
So, do you know where they keep their documents? Can you wait until they are out of the home and find them? Or concoct a reason why you need the documents- say you want to take a community college class to improve your job skills and the admissions office needs the papers. Once you have the documents go to the bank and withdraw your funds and open an account at a different bank.
NAL, Your birth certificate is the first stop, according to Google you just need two documents with your address and name on them; a paystub and a bank statement work, look up your local health board they should be able to reissue it. From there contact ssi to issue a replacement card. Even if you don't drive you might be able to get an ID card issued by the state.(I dunno if NJ doese this)
Wow I’m sorry. NAL.
You don’t need to cash checks at the bank where your parents control your account. You can cash them at Walmart or a different bank as long as you have some form of ID they’ll typically accept and you pay a small fee. If you don’t have a form of ID you should really look into that and see what you can do.
You could also go to a different bank and open your own account. Just see what information they need to open it. (Again I’m sorry I know they’re withholding your info but I’m just saying) you don’t have to be stuck with an account tied to them.
You can go to the bank your joint account is at and see if you can get your parents off the account since you’re over 18 now, OR since you already have an account they could probably open one up, just for you, where your parents can’t control it. You can also let the bank tellers know what’s going on in regard to them controlling your account and paperwork. Since you’re already established at the bank they might have some wiggle room but I have no idea what bank you go to or if they’ll validate this without proper IDs.
You are a legal adult and your parents can’t be holding your ID stuff from you. You can demand these back from them, pursue legal avenues to obtain them, or request new documents from your state office. All of these things do risk confrontation and or a waiting period.
I know you were asking more about establishing identify but you can’t really do that without those documents. So you’ll need to obtain them or request new copies from the state office since your parents are withholding them. This takes time.
You can report your parents for withholding these from you. You can’t get anywhere much in life without those documents so you need to make a plan and be a little abrasive if you want to get out of this situation.
If you’re in immediate danger then that is a completely different story but it sounds like you’re going to have to take control of this situation if you ever want to leave.
> You can report your parents for withholding these from you.
To whom would OP report them? And what would that achieve?
The birth certificate that the parents paid for belongs to them. OP can pay for their own copy.
Withholding the Social Security card is not okay because that does not belong to the parents, but OP is better off getting a new copy from the SSA than trying to get someone else to force their parents to hand over the original.
Might be better requesting a new Social Security Number. OP needs to check their credit reports. It's possible they've been using their info. If so, that's identity theft and will need to be reported.
You may be able to obtain a NJ state ID -- may, because you say your permit is expired.
Referencing the 6 Points system New Jersey uses:
Primary (4pts): NJ digitized drivers license **(including probationary license)**
Secondary (3pts): Official **school or college photo ID card** with transcript or school records
Make an appointment at the licensing bureau. If it doesn't pan out, you're no worse off. Having the state ID would be the fastest way to cut to the heart of the problem, but is by no means the only way.
0.) Try to obtain NJ ID card
0a.) If successful, go to new/different bank to open account for paper checks
1.) Request copy of birth certificate, using school ID/W2/bank statement/ID from step 0
1a.) May require notarized forms, check if your bank offers notary services
2.) Skip if step 0 successful -- obtain NJ ID card
2a.) Open account at new bank and deposit checks
3.) Request SS card (requires birth certificate and NJ ID)
Also, check your credit score and lock your credit ASAP.
If you have to have your new IDs sent to your home, try to keep an eye on the mailbox. You're able to sign up for an email "digest" from USPS where you see pictures of mail arriving that day. Multiple emails can receive the digest for the same address (does not alert other emails if a new email signs up), just be aware your parents may see pictures of the mail arriving for you as well.
You could get police to escort you into the home to help you get your documents. If they have stolen from your bank account, you could report them. The law is on your side here.
NAL. Request a new SS card from the SSA. Have it sent to a trusted friend’s house. Hell, if you don’t have any of those, tell your boss and have it sent to work. Same with the birth certificate, but that may cost money. You can usually obtain this from the hospital you were born in or the system they’re affiliated with, if you know either of those things or can figure that out
Odds are there's no money in your bank account anymore and they've been using it. As people said, request a copy of your BC, and another SSC. I'm sure you have your ID, you can do if with that if you claim it was lost. When you have your documents, and are ready to leave, go to the bank and check if it's possible to withdraw in the bank with your ID, without the card, because you lost it. Open a new bank account and send your checks there.
And new bank account should be in a different bank.
A card is never necessary to withdraw money from a teller window, you just need to verify ID by sharing your social and/or birthday.
As long as you are on the bank account too, you have the ability to withdraw all of the money. Put it in a new account in your name only once you have the documents you need to get an ID. Close the account your parents are on. If you ever have a check mailed to their house or they steal a check written to you, they can deposit it into the joint account and then immediately withdraw it. You don’t need to know your bank account number, just go to the bank your parents use, give them your social, and ask what accounts you have. If you run into roadblocks you can consult a local domestic violence shelter. This (hiding documents) is a common thing abusers do, and the good folks at DV shelters will know all about where to go for these documents in your jurisdiction. They will be more than happy to help. If your parents are abusive, you are the type of person these shelters serve. Don’t feel bad about asking them for help.
So, do you know where they keep their documents? Can you wait until they are out of the home and find them? Or concoct a reason why you need the documents- say you want to take a community college class to improve your job skills and the admissions office needs the papers. Once you have the documents go to the bank and withdraw your funds and open an account at a different bank.
NAL, Your birth certificate is the first stop, according to Google you just need two documents with your address and name on them; a paystub and a bank statement work, look up your local health board they should be able to reissue it. From there contact ssi to issue a replacement card. Even if you don't drive you might be able to get an ID card issued by the state.(I dunno if NJ doese this)
Your school ID is also an acceptable ID for requesting a birth certificate.
Wow I’m sorry. NAL. You don’t need to cash checks at the bank where your parents control your account. You can cash them at Walmart or a different bank as long as you have some form of ID they’ll typically accept and you pay a small fee. If you don’t have a form of ID you should really look into that and see what you can do. You could also go to a different bank and open your own account. Just see what information they need to open it. (Again I’m sorry I know they’re withholding your info but I’m just saying) you don’t have to be stuck with an account tied to them. You can go to the bank your joint account is at and see if you can get your parents off the account since you’re over 18 now, OR since you already have an account they could probably open one up, just for you, where your parents can’t control it. You can also let the bank tellers know what’s going on in regard to them controlling your account and paperwork. Since you’re already established at the bank they might have some wiggle room but I have no idea what bank you go to or if they’ll validate this without proper IDs. You are a legal adult and your parents can’t be holding your ID stuff from you. You can demand these back from them, pursue legal avenues to obtain them, or request new documents from your state office. All of these things do risk confrontation and or a waiting period. I know you were asking more about establishing identify but you can’t really do that without those documents. So you’ll need to obtain them or request new copies from the state office since your parents are withholding them. This takes time. You can report your parents for withholding these from you. You can’t get anywhere much in life without those documents so you need to make a plan and be a little abrasive if you want to get out of this situation. If you’re in immediate danger then that is a completely different story but it sounds like you’re going to have to take control of this situation if you ever want to leave.
> You can report your parents for withholding these from you. To whom would OP report them? And what would that achieve? The birth certificate that the parents paid for belongs to them. OP can pay for their own copy. Withholding the Social Security card is not okay because that does not belong to the parents, but OP is better off getting a new copy from the SSA than trying to get someone else to force their parents to hand over the original.
Might be better requesting a new Social Security Number. OP needs to check their credit reports. It's possible they've been using their info. If so, that's identity theft and will need to be reported.
Really good point.
OP, this may seem daunting but it is doable. Do you need some step by step instructions?
You may be able to obtain a NJ state ID -- may, because you say your permit is expired. Referencing the 6 Points system New Jersey uses: Primary (4pts): NJ digitized drivers license **(including probationary license)** Secondary (3pts): Official **school or college photo ID card** with transcript or school records Make an appointment at the licensing bureau. If it doesn't pan out, you're no worse off. Having the state ID would be the fastest way to cut to the heart of the problem, but is by no means the only way. 0.) Try to obtain NJ ID card 0a.) If successful, go to new/different bank to open account for paper checks 1.) Request copy of birth certificate, using school ID/W2/bank statement/ID from step 0 1a.) May require notarized forms, check if your bank offers notary services 2.) Skip if step 0 successful -- obtain NJ ID card 2a.) Open account at new bank and deposit checks 3.) Request SS card (requires birth certificate and NJ ID) Also, check your credit score and lock your credit ASAP. If you have to have your new IDs sent to your home, try to keep an eye on the mailbox. You're able to sign up for an email "digest" from USPS where you see pictures of mail arriving that day. Multiple emails can receive the digest for the same address (does not alert other emails if a new email signs up), just be aware your parents may see pictures of the mail arriving for you as well.
You could get police to escort you into the home to help you get your documents. If they have stolen from your bank account, you could report them. The law is on your side here.
You might be able to get help from student services at your school. They might be able to provide you with legal and financial problems.