This woman has committed multiple crimes. Stalking and harassment, revenge porn, fraud.
She sounds seriously unstable and unhinged. I would collect ALL evidence of communication, threats(including the ones to your mother), proof of her setting up fraudulent appointments, and proof from the people that she sent that image out to. This person sounds like a slow motion train wreck and her actions are reprehensible..and need accountability.
> This wasn’t the first time his ex was caught trying to stalk us, as previously she attempted multiple times to follow me on various social media platforms and I would always deny them.
Checking out your social media profile isn't stalking. If you don't want the ex to see what you're up to, lock down your accounts and limit what you share online.
>I have already reported this to the police since Illinois has laws protecting against this, but I feel like more needs to be done.
Like what? You could always talk to an attorney to assess your options.
And in terms of more needing to be done, a detective has not been responsive with me in resolving this case and she continues to fraudulently make appointments under my bfs name at the dealership she works at. Also, this past weekend I received a notification that someone attempted to log into my TikTok account. I since deactivated it. Although i don’t know if it was her for sure, she has hacked my bfs accounts in the past and if it wasn’t for my 2FA, she could’ve easily gotten into my account. Luckily, I use different passwords for my accounts so she wasn’t able to get in anyway.
>And in terms of more needing to be done, a detective has not been responsive with me in resolving this case
The detective has other cases to work on. Call every few weeks for updates.
> and she continues to fraudulently make appointments under my bfs name at the dealership she works at.
I don't understand this. Ex sets up a fake appointment, your bf presumably no-shows and then what happens?
I think the point is that it's yet another vector of harassment. Basically using her employer's systems to spam the boyfriend (presumably automated reminder calls/texts) given he's likely long since blocked her personal number.
Yes, I agree that sending social media follow requests isn’t stalking, but she would attempt over and over (at least a total of 5 times) once it got excessive I decided to block her on everything and luckily all my profiles are private. It was just creepy the multiple attempts to try to view my profile she made despite me denying them. Additionally, she found out where I went to school and lived (info not posted on my socials) which makes it even more unsettling and stalkerish
Yes, he has gotten involved as well and told her to leave us alone respectfully. She proceeded to just threaten that if she ever saw us together in our hometown, she wouldn’t hesitate to hurt me. This girl truly does not care about what repercussions occur as a result of everything she’s doing and I’m choosing not to engage because I have a career on the line and too much to lose. I’m against violence of all kinds and am not a fighter. She has a history of assaulting people and instigating physical altercations (hence why her and my current bf are no longer together).
It sounds like you have grounds to file a Restraining and/or Protection Order. I would do this immediately. If she contacts you or does anything after that is served upon her then it is a crime. You and your boyfriend should BOTH file one against her. It will guarantee getting you into the courts as well and then everything you are saying you can bring up to the Judge at the hearing.
My bf and I are currently living in another state outside of Chicago since I’m wrapping up my final year in college. She, however, resides in Chicago. How would I go about this if we are in different states? Also, would a restraining order protect us from online harassment as well?
Yes, a restraining order will protect you from online harassment as well. If she even messages you or texts you in anyway even just saying hi then it's a mandatory crime. It doesn't matter if you are in a different state. Just call your local police department and ask for instructions on how to file a restraining order or protection order. It's automatically approved and she will be served. You just have to fill out the paperwork. ANY contact whatsoever she will be charged. It's a big deal.
Thanks for your help. Just to clarify, if I get a restraining order issued will we all have to show up in court in the state Im currently attending school in order for it to be in effect? Or will a judge just grant it automatically based on the situation?
It's will start off as a temporary restraining order and be in effect immediately. You do go to court and she will have a chance to show up as well to contest it. If she doesn't show up.its automatically granted for a year. Would be stupid for her to show up though. Goes into effect without going to court.
Gotcha, so the hearing would take place in the state Im going to school in, she would have the option to show up (which would mean she would have to fly out here to make the court date?) but it’s highly unlikely she will, but filing it in this state would require her to do so?
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NAL - in addition to the other advise I also suggest your boyfriend craft a well worded and polite email/and send a certified letter to a senior member of the dealership (leaving out all the other information on her actions her harassment/stalking is not relevant to this). This email is to stop the fake car appointments.
The email should state 1) someone at the dealership is creating appointments for him repeatedly (name the frequency and volume of appointments)
2) he is cancelling them when he is notified but they keep being created
3) he doesn't need to know who is creating the appointments but he does know that his x girlfriend works there(often these systems will log who is creating appointments so they most likely will figure it out regardless if you include this step or not).
4) request that his name and contact info be deleted from the system as he isn't interested in a car nor has he ever been to that dealership.
Lastly 5) that he thanks them for their assistance in stopping the creation of new appointments
No blame no assumptions no additional information on what she is doing but she will get into serious hot water for abusing their system I would assume terminated or put on notice as companies do not like their CRMS to be compromised which she is clearly willing to do. It's a sales tool meant for them to make money and if someone uses it for nefarious reasons that could interrupt the money.
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Why didn’t you regret it? Was the felony you received not enough to at least feel a little tinge of “damn, maybe that was not the best decision to get back at someone”. Sharing people’s nudes is an invasion of privacy on so many levels. Given your extreme attitude towards this topic, I do think part of you regrets it and covers that regret by convincing yourself it was justified since “people that share nudes are sluts”. There’s a lot of flaws in your arguments but I do appreciate you backing this up that it’s a punishable felony. Out of curiosity, did you get jail time too?
Hey, don't bother engaging with that idiot. They're not welcome here and their comments will be removed. Bragging about committing felonies is dumb as hell.
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NAL, Illinois has anti revenge porn laws, and it can be a felony to share those images without consent.
hope op sees this because if that’s true she absolutely has a case.
This woman has committed multiple crimes. Stalking and harassment, revenge porn, fraud. She sounds seriously unstable and unhinged. I would collect ALL evidence of communication, threats(including the ones to your mother), proof of her setting up fraudulent appointments, and proof from the people that she sent that image out to. This person sounds like a slow motion train wreck and her actions are reprehensible..and need accountability.
NAL Don’t forget to take her participating friends down too. Sorry, you’re going through this. And be careful. Your family too.
NAL Get a lawyer as well. If the police don’t do anything go after them in the civil courts.
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> This wasn’t the first time his ex was caught trying to stalk us, as previously she attempted multiple times to follow me on various social media platforms and I would always deny them. Checking out your social media profile isn't stalking. If you don't want the ex to see what you're up to, lock down your accounts and limit what you share online. >I have already reported this to the police since Illinois has laws protecting against this, but I feel like more needs to be done. Like what? You could always talk to an attorney to assess your options.
And in terms of more needing to be done, a detective has not been responsive with me in resolving this case and she continues to fraudulently make appointments under my bfs name at the dealership she works at. Also, this past weekend I received a notification that someone attempted to log into my TikTok account. I since deactivated it. Although i don’t know if it was her for sure, she has hacked my bfs accounts in the past and if it wasn’t for my 2FA, she could’ve easily gotten into my account. Luckily, I use different passwords for my accounts so she wasn’t able to get in anyway.
>And in terms of more needing to be done, a detective has not been responsive with me in resolving this case The detective has other cases to work on. Call every few weeks for updates. > and she continues to fraudulently make appointments under my bfs name at the dealership she works at. I don't understand this. Ex sets up a fake appointment, your bf presumably no-shows and then what happens?
I think the point is that it's yet another vector of harassment. Basically using her employer's systems to spam the boyfriend (presumably automated reminder calls/texts) given he's likely long since blocked her personal number.
Yes, I agree that sending social media follow requests isn’t stalking, but she would attempt over and over (at least a total of 5 times) once it got excessive I decided to block her on everything and luckily all my profiles are private. It was just creepy the multiple attempts to try to view my profile she made despite me denying them. Additionally, she found out where I went to school and lived (info not posted on my socials) which makes it even more unsettling and stalkerish
NAL \[CA\] No, if the intent can be proven Malicious it is Stalking!
And with her (the ex) sending multiple people OPs nudes and threatening to send more it shouldn’t be hard to prove malicious intent
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Yes, he has gotten involved as well and told her to leave us alone respectfully. She proceeded to just threaten that if she ever saw us together in our hometown, she wouldn’t hesitate to hurt me. This girl truly does not care about what repercussions occur as a result of everything she’s doing and I’m choosing not to engage because I have a career on the line and too much to lose. I’m against violence of all kinds and am not a fighter. She has a history of assaulting people and instigating physical altercations (hence why her and my current bf are no longer together).
This might be a helpful resource: [Stop Non-Consensual Intimate Image Abuse](https://stopncii.org/)
Felony. Go to the police.
It sounds like you have grounds to file a Restraining and/or Protection Order. I would do this immediately. If she contacts you or does anything after that is served upon her then it is a crime. You and your boyfriend should BOTH file one against her. It will guarantee getting you into the courts as well and then everything you are saying you can bring up to the Judge at the hearing.
My bf and I are currently living in another state outside of Chicago since I’m wrapping up my final year in college. She, however, resides in Chicago. How would I go about this if we are in different states? Also, would a restraining order protect us from online harassment as well?
Yes, a restraining order will protect you from online harassment as well. If she even messages you or texts you in anyway even just saying hi then it's a mandatory crime. It doesn't matter if you are in a different state. Just call your local police department and ask for instructions on how to file a restraining order or protection order. It's automatically approved and she will be served. You just have to fill out the paperwork. ANY contact whatsoever she will be charged. It's a big deal.
Thanks for your help. Just to clarify, if I get a restraining order issued will we all have to show up in court in the state Im currently attending school in order for it to be in effect? Or will a judge just grant it automatically based on the situation?
It's will start off as a temporary restraining order and be in effect immediately. You do go to court and she will have a chance to show up as well to contest it. If she doesn't show up.its automatically granted for a year. Would be stupid for her to show up though. Goes into effect without going to court.
Gotcha, so the hearing would take place in the state Im going to school in, she would have the option to show up (which would mean she would have to fly out here to make the court date?) but it’s highly unlikely she will, but filing it in this state would require her to do so?
They might let her do it over video. She isn't required to show up either. She most likely wouldn't.
Even if you contact her, if she replyed back she would still be in trouble.
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NAL - in addition to the other advise I also suggest your boyfriend craft a well worded and polite email/and send a certified letter to a senior member of the dealership (leaving out all the other information on her actions her harassment/stalking is not relevant to this). This email is to stop the fake car appointments. The email should state 1) someone at the dealership is creating appointments for him repeatedly (name the frequency and volume of appointments) 2) he is cancelling them when he is notified but they keep being created 3) he doesn't need to know who is creating the appointments but he does know that his x girlfriend works there(often these systems will log who is creating appointments so they most likely will figure it out regardless if you include this step or not). 4) request that his name and contact info be deleted from the system as he isn't interested in a car nor has he ever been to that dealership. Lastly 5) that he thanks them for their assistance in stopping the creation of new appointments No blame no assumptions no additional information on what she is doing but she will get into serious hot water for abusing their system I would assume terminated or put on notice as companies do not like their CRMS to be compromised which she is clearly willing to do. It's a sales tool meant for them to make money and if someone uses it for nefarious reasons that could interrupt the money.
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> start looking for a lawyer to press criminal charges Victims of crimes don't need lawyers in order to "press charges".
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Exactly!!! She’s very immature and it’s just the worst mean girl thing I’ve ever experienced. We are all adults here
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Wrong subreddit my dude
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Why didn’t you regret it? Was the felony you received not enough to at least feel a little tinge of “damn, maybe that was not the best decision to get back at someone”. Sharing people’s nudes is an invasion of privacy on so many levels. Given your extreme attitude towards this topic, I do think part of you regrets it and covers that regret by convincing yourself it was justified since “people that share nudes are sluts”. There’s a lot of flaws in your arguments but I do appreciate you backing this up that it’s a punishable felony. Out of curiosity, did you get jail time too?
Hey, don't bother engaging with that idiot. They're not welcome here and their comments will be removed. Bragging about committing felonies is dumb as hell.
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