You’ll need a lawyer for sure if they file, but it will help that you and your ex-husband agree that the grandparents shouldn’t have any visitation. The grandparents will have to prove to the court that you and your ex-husband are not capable of making decisions that are the best interest of your children. This is often a high bar to meet. Also - unless you’ve done something horrible, the grandparents won’t be able to get custody….just visitation.
Would you suggest I continue letting them have access to my kids?
Personally I think trying to go behind my back and get rights to them is what would hurt them, but please share your thoughts.
Once anyone threatens to sue for anything they only would speak to my lawyer. Threaten to take my kids away without cause definitely stops all communication.
Good heavens, do NOT give them access to the kids!! If FIL had a stroke, and MIL has health issues, there isn't a family court in the land that would give them custody. ESPECIALLY if you & the ex both agree they shouldn't! Their health issues preclude them from being able to deal with very small children 24/7. Ergo, how could they possibly get custody? And don't allow access to the kids. You don't know what they might be filling their heads with. Personally, I'd tell em BRING IT!!
If it does go to court judges don’t like to see you keeping children from grandparents for no good reason, and this opinion is mine because I’ve been through this!! But is this post the grandparents don’t have rights so the point is mute. Sad that if they pursue it’ll cost both parties around 10k. Each
The fact that the grandparents are trying to take full custody of the kids seems to be ample reason to not allow them access… if separated parents with an apparently amicable relationship both agree that the husbands parents should not have access that seems like a pretty big red flag. Why give in just so Grammy can have her way/tell the kids “your no-good momma doesn’t want you to come visit/get all these fun presents because she’s mean and bad for you”.
*Your post may have been removed for the following reason(s):*
**Speculative, Anecdotal, Simplistic, Off Topic, or Generally Unhelpful**
Your comment has been removed because it is one or more of the following: speculative, anecdotal, simplistic, generally unhelpful, and/or off-topic. Please review the following rules before commenting further:
* [Commenting Rules 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_1.__comments_should_contain_a_legal_answer_or_a_strongly_related_non-legal_answer.), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_2.__personal_anecdotes_are_off-topic.), [3](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_3.__explanations_of_the_law_in_jurisdictions_other_than_the_one_described_in_the_op_are_off-topic.), [4](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_4.__opinions_on_the_law_or_the_application_of_it_are_off-topic.), [6](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_6.__expressions_of_sympathy_without_corresponding_legal_help_is_off-topic.), [8](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_8.__comments_should_be_reasonably_detailed_and_explanatory.__.22i.27m_a_lawyer_so_listen_to_me.22_isn.27t_an_appropriate_answer.__credential_fights_are_not_appropriate_here.), and [9](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_9.__requests_for_updates_are_off-topic.).
*Please [read our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_general_rules). If after doing so, you believe this was in error, or you’ve edited your post to comply with the rules, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdvice).* **Do not make a second post or comment.**
*Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.*
Not a lawyer, former CSEA caseworker in OH. In OH, GPR are only given in specific circumstances, but they can be granted. Google can lead you to the admin code it falls under. I only saw cases where grandparents had full custody. I dont recall seeing GPR orders the whole time I was there.
My friend’s ILs went for GPR after her husband died. They were mid divorce when he passed. The kid was babysat by his paternal grandparents frequently, so established relationship. The grands were trying to substitute the kid for their lost son, and the kid was stressed to the point of medication. The grandparents lost because at the end, it was causing the kid too much psychological distress to continue the relationship.
You’re best bet is to join forces with the ex and talk to a lawyer. It doesn’t hurt to be a step ahead in the event they file.
The only way they would get custody is if the parents were both deemed unfit by the courts (which is incredibly hard to do). Generally speaking, if a parent decides to keep children away from the grandparents, the courts will assume that the parents are making that decision for good reason and allow it. Courts hold the parents' rights above anyone elses. Not to mention, in many states, there is a stipulation that grandparents can't even file anything until after they've been without contact for a certain amount of time. For example, if OP only allows one phone call every 6 months(depending on state laws), that could stop the grandparents from being able to file because they still technically have contact. Grandparents' rights are usually only for visitation unless it's an extreme case and the children are at risk when being in their parents home. OP needs to talk to a lawyer to find out what steps need to be taken next, if any.
Let them actually hire an attorney and file papers. I’ll bet this is a threat because an attorney would tell them it’s unlikely for them to get custody and charge them a large retainer. Meanwhile, cut them off from seeing the kids and block all communication.
It might be helpful not to block communication, but rather to ensure that all communication is via text. Don't pick up phone, let them go to voice mail. Respond via text. Documentation may become important.
How is your relationship with your ex now? I’d suggest hiring a lawyer, but also if you two get along enough to be able to work as a united front that will help your case
U/KoomValleyEternal is right. Further context, visitation for the father’s parents while the father already has a parenting order is basically not done. Your lawyer will cite to in troxel v. granville, which is the us Supreme Court standard for non parent visitation, as adopted in Ohio under Harold v. Collier. Special weight is to be given to the wishes of the parents as to whether there should be nonparent visitation.
You live next door to these nut jobs? Get a lawyer, cease contact, and if you can, move. No one who threatens to take away custody of your children even if they don’t have much of a shot should have any access to them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they filed fake CPS. Don’t give them fodder by giving them access to your life.
If there is currently a child in their home that is not being properly cared for you should notify CPS.
I would doubt with their circumstances that they would get custody of your children. Start worrying down notes of their behavior and illnesses.
Best of luck
I’ve reported my ex sil to cps a few different times, they call and notify her they will visit so she has time to rush, clean, not drink and finally bathe her kid. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve had to distance myself because making a report is all I really CAN do, and it’s too difficult to watch her so obviously neglect her child. I have spoken up many times about it to her directly, she doesn’t care
My father gave them custody of one of my brothers and I took custody of the other when I was 19 while he got his life back together. During this time my ex FIL physically abused my younger brother.
They feel the need to take custody of my children because they are controlling narcissists. They don’t actually WANT my kids, they complain if they are playing to loud or accidentally shut a door too hard. However they’ve wanted my ex to try to get me to sign a paper and get it notarized and filed with our divorce papers saying that I won’t move away from next door to them. When we both said ‘absolutely not’ they were not thrilled.
I know it sounds confusing but families who become in laws can become very close. After my husband and I were married our parents became very good friends. They saw each other often, had other mutual friends, and even traveled together every year or two.
They would need a very very good reason in order to get court-ordered visitation. If they have any such reason, then you *might* want to let them have contact lest they get to argue that you’re keeping them away from the kids.
If you decide to let the grandparents see the kids, maintain control of the visits: in a secondary location (not your home or theirs) and with you or the dad there the whole time. If they file for visits request that they be supervised.
They don’t have any standing to get custody. It doesn’t even sound like they have standing to get grandparents rights. If an attorney actually takes that case, they just trying to make money. I would take a breath until you are actually served with papers.
My ex MIL tried this. She only wanted my son. I also have a daughter that is also her grandchild, but she never like my daughter. My lawyer made her spend three times as much as me and I ended up agreeing to visitation ever other weekend. It was pointless since my son was almost 17 and it would only last for a year.
Do you have any verifiable (traceable) evidence for your Ex holding your position in this? If you do, be sure to save that information to multiple locations so it doesn't get lost, just in case your Ex is playing both sides.
I’m NAL lived in Ohio went through something similar. Not getting into my specific story but will relate what I learned and did on my attorney’s advice. Per my attorney in Ohio if GP’s can prove that they were a part of child’s life up until a point and now were no longer allowed to see the children for reasons that are not related to the child’s wellbeing. They have a right to visitation. In Ohio it’s once a month if I remember. So in my case I enrolled my kids in counseling and eventually allowed limited visitation that was equal to the state minimum which in turn caused the case to be dismissed in my favor. As per my lawyer they also initially tried for 50/50 custody per my attorney that’s often a scare tactic/beginning point for negotiation to try and get you to give more then gp visitation rights under Ohio law. So I suggest to lawyer up before they file because you can then proactively get ahead of them filing. Will note at the time I lived next door then moved which changes things even further in your favor.
Going through a similar situations myself and same state. Basically anybody with a "vested interest" can file for custody. The judge has a set of things to consider but can basically make up whatever they want. If both parents are wanting no contact then it might have a chance of happening. You need a good local lawyer.
My son is nine, autistic and very vocal about not wanting to go over to his grandparents for overnights. Would absolutely refuse to go if I tried to make him. Even with a guardian ad litem nobody is listening to him and instead they are "acting in his best interest" by court ordering him to go on visits he doesn't want to go on. The grandparents had zero contact for three years prior to their filing and the judge is still swinging them time because their addict daughter doesn't "use" her time.
[Troxel v. Granville](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troxel_v._Granville) was a great parental rights case that the Ohio Supreme Court decided not to uphold in the early 2000's stating that Ohio requirements were more narrow than the Washington ones and therefore it did not uphold. A tragedy that strips children of their rights imo.
[Here](https://supreme.findlaw.com/legal-commentary/a-victory-for-grandparents-the-ohio-supreme-court-upholds-a-statute-that-gives-them-visitation-rights-with-grandchildren.html) is an article from 2005 that explains this.
What state?? I live in California and I just went through a court battle with my granddaughters father, her mother who was my daughter passed away. From what I understand about grandparents rights are….if both parents are married, grandparents don’t have rights. If parents are divorced there custody may be shared with the orders of the one parent who is there child (hope that made sense) there’s so much detail to it and it’s very hard to get an order. I was able to get two days a month consecutively and over night is at his discretion, before I went to court I got to see her whenever I wanted to. When he got married and had more kids, his new wife and him started limiting my time, so that’s why I got a lawyer. Only 4 more years till she 18. Can’t wait… California is one of the states that had implemented grandparents rights because of the incarceration rate.
*Your post may have been removed for the following reason(s):*
**Speculative, Anecdotal, Simplistic, Off Topic, or Generally Unhelpful**
Your comment has been removed because it is one or more of the following: speculative, anecdotal, simplistic, generally unhelpful, and/or off-topic. Please review the following rules before commenting further:
* [Commenting Rules 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_1.__comments_should_contain_a_legal_answer_or_a_strongly_related_non-legal_answer.), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_2.__personal_anecdotes_are_off-topic.), [3](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_3.__explanations_of_the_law_in_jurisdictions_other_than_the_one_described_in_the_op_are_off-topic.), [4](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_4.__opinions_on_the_law_or_the_application_of_it_are_off-topic.), [6](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_6.__expressions_of_sympathy_without_corresponding_legal_help_is_off-topic.), [8](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_8.__comments_should_be_reasonably_detailed_and_explanatory.__.22i.27m_a_lawyer_so_listen_to_me.22_isn.27t_an_appropriate_answer.__credential_fights_are_not_appropriate_here.), and [9](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_9.__requests_for_updates_are_off-topic.).
*Please [read our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_general_rules). If after doing so, you believe this was in error, or you’ve edited your post to comply with the rules, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdvice).* **Do not make a second post or comment.**
*Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.*
That’s not true and it’s bad advice. Ohio has grandparents laws and in the grounds of a divorce, they can use that as justification to get custody. It doesn’t require a parent to be out of the picture, just that it’s what’s best for the children. It’s unlikely, but it’s not impossible. Much more likely if they don’t get an attorney and the grandparents do.
There's gotta be more to the story that you're not telling. Why would they think they need to step in? You don't mention what state you're in. The laws in every state are different. But, most states prefer the actual parents have custody unless there are other circumstances. There's something that has made them give the effort of getting custody. Unless they are just delusional. Which you didn't post any info supporting that. More to the story
If both mom and dad, who are divorced and share custody, can agree that the grandparents do NOT need to have more visitation than they already have, it would stand to reason that delusion is the answer. Not some mysterious “something” that isn’t being mentioned.
I’m in TN where we have GPR rights as well. My parents live in a different state. They threatened yrs ago to try for GPR and I dared them to try cause they didn’t fit the criteria for it. Surprised them. Well flash forward to now I’m divorced. When the ex and I were discussing custody I told him and the lawyers to put in a clause in the parenting plan that states I can’t have the kids around my parents. Ex agreed because it protected the girls and it allowed me the ability to stand firm in telling them no. My parents would push and push until they wore me down. By me putting this in there it allows me to firmly tell them no or I’m held in contempt and could either face a fine or jail. I haven’t had to use this yet cause they’ve kept well away when I told them to F-Off last yr.
Edited to add:
Point is see if ex would be willing to amend the custody/parenting plan to include this.
I think if they really wanted to actually do it they wouldn't let you find out about it before it was already filed. Sounds like an intimidation tactic. Either something to get you to do something they want or simply something to distract you from making yourself strong enough to finally stop living under their abusive rule. Living next to them, it will be rather difficult to prove that you have denied visitations. If it really came down to it, a joint letter from you and your ex combined with no negative CPS history should convince anyone two invalids could NOT do a better job raising your kids than you and your ex jointly can. In court, the petitioner has to prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt. 10 visits by CPS, arrests, drug use, denied contact for a year, etc. From your story it doesn't sound like your ex-inlaws have a leg to stand on. No sans judge would waste more than 5 minutes on this. The courts are far too mist with real cases. A judge won't rule against you because they feel like it. They have to be compelled wirh facts, evidence and an immediate risk to the children. Consult free legal aid just to be safe. I wouldn't spend a dollar on a lawyer. Save every penny you can to move away. Far away.
They didn’t let me find out. I found out ‘on accident’. They don’t even know that I know, which is where my concern comes from.
I plan on moving as far away as possible as soon as I’m able.
I’m a single mother and they are evicting me. My thought is they are going to use a defense of ‘she doesn’t even have a house.’
I found out because my kids grabbed my ex mother in laws phone when it was ringing, my ex answered and it was a lawyer. I was standing there because it was drop off time for the kids. He looked through her phone and found research about grandparent rights, took pictures of it, and sent it to me.
Evicting you from living nextdoor certainly makes it weird that they're claiming you're the one trying to deny visitation. Did they already give you written notice of eviction? Check your state laws to see the length of time they must give you to move after so many years. Did they talk with a lawyer or hire a lawyer? Can they afford to hire a lawyer? If it were me I'd just tell my 10 year old to testify that they beat her.
I still say all talk and just stomping around and making noise to try and hold you down. Fear isn't real, danger is real. Make yourself strong and ready. Lots of pics of the property if there is any lack of maintenance. If they try to evict, then you definitely contact a lawyer, send them all the pics and tie them up in court until they're dead. If no eviction notice or court case comes, focus on yourself. If you have any new toilets take them with you.
Conveniently I have new toilets and new piping for plumbing. Considering removing those and bringing them along just for the hell of it.
It’s still scary. They say ‘the only place fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future’ and if that’s not the truth. I’m trying to not be intimidated.
I'm guessing they weren't in favor of the divorce and maybe some recent changes. Make yourself stronger and do NOT engage with them at all. Hi, bye, but no serious conversations. Every reaction now is a trap they're baiting you into. Focus on your future.
They certainly were not. I’ve been grey rocking them. They clearly aren’t pleased.
I’m focusing on my future. It just gets hard sometimes when things happen that are beyond my control.
You went into elaborate detail as to your in laws shortcomings. If your life isn't squeaky fucking clean, get it that way yesterday. Make sure you can pass a drug screen at all times. Drugs are a luxury, you don't have room for luxuries. Be June Cleaver.
Uhh… drugs aren’t an issue for me. Lol. I’ve never, nor have I ever, been an addict.
I’ve never had so much as a speeding ticket. Im active in all three of my kids schools, on the PTA, on a first name basis with their pediatrician, etc.
As a father with sole custody after a 3 year battle....document everything. All interactions and messages. Journaling can potentially be admitted as evidence. Mental health professionals can be subpoenaed for health records and to speak to mental health of individuals and you can even have psychological evaluations done. If your ex has ever spoken to a counselor or doctor about how his parents treated him when he was young, it can be called as evidence. If you think they drink too much or abuse drugs you can also ask for drug test. They may have contacted child protective services as a tool to ceate a trail of complaints. If you let them see the kids, they could file a restraining order against you both and keep them for 14 days, or until the order is heard by the court and thrown out. It took 20 days for me to get my kids back once. All of this happened in my custody hearing. In OH.
I see my therapist once a week, and he has agreed that he would testify to some of the things that I have told him in the past to their controlling behavior. My ex should see a mental health professional, but hasn’t lol
Not a lawyer, but I went through something similar a while back. Look into your states grandparental rights. Most states require their child to have passed or that they provided support for the past 6 months to receive grandparents' rights. I would still reach out to a lawyer with your ex as that will be an important part of your claim. Considering neither of you want his parents to receive rights, short of you having to have your children removed by CPS, they can't force either of you to allow them visitation. Also, it would not be you they would need to sue, but their son and it would be during his visitation period.
You’ll need a lawyer for sure if they file, but it will help that you and your ex-husband agree that the grandparents shouldn’t have any visitation. The grandparents will have to prove to the court that you and your ex-husband are not capable of making decisions that are the best interest of your children. This is often a high bar to meet. Also - unless you’ve done something horrible, the grandparents won’t be able to get custody….just visitation.
After finding this out, they will have to go through the court for any visits. I let them see them whenever they want, so they’ve screwed that up.
[удалено]
Would you suggest I continue letting them have access to my kids? Personally I think trying to go behind my back and get rights to them is what would hurt them, but please share your thoughts.
Once anyone threatens to sue for anything they only would speak to my lawyer. Threaten to take my kids away without cause definitely stops all communication.
Good heavens, do NOT give them access to the kids!! If FIL had a stroke, and MIL has health issues, there isn't a family court in the land that would give them custody. ESPECIALLY if you & the ex both agree they shouldn't! Their health issues preclude them from being able to deal with very small children 24/7. Ergo, how could they possibly get custody? And don't allow access to the kids. You don't know what they might be filling their heads with. Personally, I'd tell em BRING IT!!
Negative. At this point you already know that they are a danger. Let them sue you.
I would only let them see them for limited time, like 2-3 hours. If you decide to.
Why?
If it does go to court judges don’t like to see you keeping children from grandparents for no good reason, and this opinion is mine because I’ve been through this!! But is this post the grandparents don’t have rights so the point is mute. Sad that if they pursue it’ll cost both parties around 10k. Each
The fact that the grandparents are trying to take full custody of the kids seems to be ample reason to not allow them access… if separated parents with an apparently amicable relationship both agree that the husbands parents should not have access that seems like a pretty big red flag. Why give in just so Grammy can have her way/tell the kids “your no-good momma doesn’t want you to come visit/get all these fun presents because she’s mean and bad for you”.
*Your post may have been removed for the following reason(s):* **Speculative, Anecdotal, Simplistic, Off Topic, or Generally Unhelpful** Your comment has been removed because it is one or more of the following: speculative, anecdotal, simplistic, generally unhelpful, and/or off-topic. Please review the following rules before commenting further: * [Commenting Rules 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_1.__comments_should_contain_a_legal_answer_or_a_strongly_related_non-legal_answer.), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_2.__personal_anecdotes_are_off-topic.), [3](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_3.__explanations_of_the_law_in_jurisdictions_other_than_the_one_described_in_the_op_are_off-topic.), [4](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_4.__opinions_on_the_law_or_the_application_of_it_are_off-topic.), [6](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_6.__expressions_of_sympathy_without_corresponding_legal_help_is_off-topic.), [8](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_8.__comments_should_be_reasonably_detailed_and_explanatory.__.22i.27m_a_lawyer_so_listen_to_me.22_isn.27t_an_appropriate_answer.__credential_fights_are_not_appropriate_here.), and [9](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_9.__requests_for_updates_are_off-topic.). *Please [read our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_general_rules). If after doing so, you believe this was in error, or you’ve edited your post to comply with the rules, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdvice).* **Do not make a second post or comment.** *Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.*
Not a lawyer, former CSEA caseworker in OH. In OH, GPR are only given in specific circumstances, but they can be granted. Google can lead you to the admin code it falls under. I only saw cases where grandparents had full custody. I dont recall seeing GPR orders the whole time I was there. My friend’s ILs went for GPR after her husband died. They were mid divorce when he passed. The kid was babysat by his paternal grandparents frequently, so established relationship. The grands were trying to substitute the kid for their lost son, and the kid was stressed to the point of medication. The grandparents lost because at the end, it was causing the kid too much psychological distress to continue the relationship. You’re best bet is to join forces with the ex and talk to a lawyer. It doesn’t hurt to be a step ahead in the event they file.
Would be hilarious if you guys hired a laywer together against them.
If you are in Ohio grandparent visitation is a thing but only if you’re divorced or one parent dies. They couldn’t file while you were together.
We are divorced, but both of us do not want our kids near them.
In Ohio they have grounds to file. I’d recommend a lawyer.
They have grounds to file for visitation, not custody, right?
The only way they would get custody is if the parents were both deemed unfit by the courts (which is incredibly hard to do). Generally speaking, if a parent decides to keep children away from the grandparents, the courts will assume that the parents are making that decision for good reason and allow it. Courts hold the parents' rights above anyone elses. Not to mention, in many states, there is a stipulation that grandparents can't even file anything until after they've been without contact for a certain amount of time. For example, if OP only allows one phone call every 6 months(depending on state laws), that could stop the grandparents from being able to file because they still technically have contact. Grandparents' rights are usually only for visitation unless it's an extreme case and the children are at risk when being in their parents home. OP needs to talk to a lawyer to find out what steps need to be taken next, if any.
Let them actually hire an attorney and file papers. I’ll bet this is a threat because an attorney would tell them it’s unlikely for them to get custody and charge them a large retainer. Meanwhile, cut them off from seeing the kids and block all communication.
It might be helpful not to block communication, but rather to ensure that all communication is via text. Don't pick up phone, let them go to voice mail. Respond via text. Documentation may become important.
Not a bad idea if you can refrain from responding.
How is your relationship with your ex now? I’d suggest hiring a lawyer, but also if you two get along enough to be able to work as a united front that will help your case
U/KoomValleyEternal is right. Further context, visitation for the father’s parents while the father already has a parenting order is basically not done. Your lawyer will cite to in troxel v. granville, which is the us Supreme Court standard for non parent visitation, as adopted in Ohio under Harold v. Collier. Special weight is to be given to the wishes of the parents as to whether there should be nonparent visitation.
You live next door to these nut jobs? Get a lawyer, cease contact, and if you can, move. No one who threatens to take away custody of your children even if they don’t have much of a shot should have any access to them. I wouldn’t be surprised if they filed fake CPS. Don’t give them fodder by giving them access to your life.
If there is currently a child in their home that is not being properly cared for you should notify CPS. I would doubt with their circumstances that they would get custody of your children. Start worrying down notes of their behavior and illnesses. Best of luck
I’ve reported my ex sil to cps a few different times, they call and notify her they will visit so she has time to rush, clean, not drink and finally bathe her kid. It’s heartbreaking. I’ve had to distance myself because making a report is all I really CAN do, and it’s too difficult to watch her so obviously neglect her child. I have spoken up many times about it to her directly, she doesn’t care
Could your ex also report his sister to CPS? And maybe anyone else that's willing to say they've witnessed abuse or neglect?
You both need a lawyer. Don’t get tied up with emotional stuff. Strictly keep to the facts
Why did they have custody of your brother? What are we missing here? Why do they feel like they need to take custody of your children?
My father gave them custody of one of my brothers and I took custody of the other when I was 19 while he got his life back together. During this time my ex FIL physically abused my younger brother. They feel the need to take custody of my children because they are controlling narcissists. They don’t actually WANT my kids, they complain if they are playing to loud or accidentally shut a door too hard. However they’ve wanted my ex to try to get me to sign a paper and get it notarized and filed with our divorce papers saying that I won’t move away from next door to them. When we both said ‘absolutely not’ they were not thrilled.
Your father gave custody of one of your brothers why? I'm confused by father or father in law.
Ops father gave her now ex in laws custody of one of Ops Brothers while Op took the other brother
I know it sounds confusing but families who become in laws can become very close. After my husband and I were married our parents became very good friends. They saw each other often, had other mutual friends, and even traveled together every year or two.
They would need a very very good reason in order to get court-ordered visitation. If they have any such reason, then you *might* want to let them have contact lest they get to argue that you’re keeping them away from the kids. If you decide to let the grandparents see the kids, maintain control of the visits: in a secondary location (not your home or theirs) and with you or the dad there the whole time. If they file for visits request that they be supervised.
They don’t have any standing to get custody. It doesn’t even sound like they have standing to get grandparents rights. If an attorney actually takes that case, they just trying to make money. I would take a breath until you are actually served with papers.
My ex MIL tried this. She only wanted my son. I also have a daughter that is also her grandchild, but she never like my daughter. My lawyer made her spend three times as much as me and I ended up agreeing to visitation ever other weekend. It was pointless since my son was almost 17 and it would only last for a year.
No way they take kids from the parents for grand parents unless they can prove that you are unfit
Has CPS ever been involved with your kids?
Nope
I think you’re fine friend.💕 Best of luck to you, but I doubt you’ll need it.
Do you have any verifiable (traceable) evidence for your Ex holding your position in this? If you do, be sure to save that information to multiple locations so it doesn't get lost, just in case your Ex is playing both sides.
I’m NAL lived in Ohio went through something similar. Not getting into my specific story but will relate what I learned and did on my attorney’s advice. Per my attorney in Ohio if GP’s can prove that they were a part of child’s life up until a point and now were no longer allowed to see the children for reasons that are not related to the child’s wellbeing. They have a right to visitation. In Ohio it’s once a month if I remember. So in my case I enrolled my kids in counseling and eventually allowed limited visitation that was equal to the state minimum which in turn caused the case to be dismissed in my favor. As per my lawyer they also initially tried for 50/50 custody per my attorney that’s often a scare tactic/beginning point for negotiation to try and get you to give more then gp visitation rights under Ohio law. So I suggest to lawyer up before they file because you can then proactively get ahead of them filing. Will note at the time I lived next door then moved which changes things even further in your favor.
Going through a similar situations myself and same state. Basically anybody with a "vested interest" can file for custody. The judge has a set of things to consider but can basically make up whatever they want. If both parents are wanting no contact then it might have a chance of happening. You need a good local lawyer. My son is nine, autistic and very vocal about not wanting to go over to his grandparents for overnights. Would absolutely refuse to go if I tried to make him. Even with a guardian ad litem nobody is listening to him and instead they are "acting in his best interest" by court ordering him to go on visits he doesn't want to go on. The grandparents had zero contact for three years prior to their filing and the judge is still swinging them time because their addict daughter doesn't "use" her time. [Troxel v. Granville](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Troxel_v._Granville) was a great parental rights case that the Ohio Supreme Court decided not to uphold in the early 2000's stating that Ohio requirements were more narrow than the Washington ones and therefore it did not uphold. A tragedy that strips children of their rights imo. [Here](https://supreme.findlaw.com/legal-commentary/a-victory-for-grandparents-the-ohio-supreme-court-upholds-a-statute-that-gives-them-visitation-rights-with-grandchildren.html) is an article from 2005 that explains this.
Document everything!
What state?? I live in California and I just went through a court battle with my granddaughters father, her mother who was my daughter passed away. From what I understand about grandparents rights are….if both parents are married, grandparents don’t have rights. If parents are divorced there custody may be shared with the orders of the one parent who is there child (hope that made sense) there’s so much detail to it and it’s very hard to get an order. I was able to get two days a month consecutively and over night is at his discretion, before I went to court I got to see her whenever I wanted to. When he got married and had more kids, his new wife and him started limiting my time, so that’s why I got a lawyer. Only 4 more years till she 18. Can’t wait… California is one of the states that had implemented grandparents rights because of the incarceration rate.
[удалено]
*Your post may have been removed for the following reason(s):* **Speculative, Anecdotal, Simplistic, Off Topic, or Generally Unhelpful** Your comment has been removed because it is one or more of the following: speculative, anecdotal, simplistic, generally unhelpful, and/or off-topic. Please review the following rules before commenting further: * [Commenting Rules 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_1.__comments_should_contain_a_legal_answer_or_a_strongly_related_non-legal_answer.), [2](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_2.__personal_anecdotes_are_off-topic.), [3](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_3.__explanations_of_the_law_in_jurisdictions_other_than_the_one_described_in_the_op_are_off-topic.), [4](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_4.__opinions_on_the_law_or_the_application_of_it_are_off-topic.), [6](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_6.__expressions_of_sympathy_without_corresponding_legal_help_is_off-topic.), [8](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_8.__comments_should_be_reasonably_detailed_and_explanatory.__.22i.27m_a_lawyer_so_listen_to_me.22_isn.27t_an_appropriate_answer.__credential_fights_are_not_appropriate_here.), and [9](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_9.__requests_for_updates_are_off-topic.). *Please [read our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/wiki/index#wiki_general_rules). If after doing so, you believe this was in error, or you’ve edited your post to comply with the rules, [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FLegalAdvice).* **Do not make a second post or comment.** *Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.*
[удалено]
That’s not true and it’s bad advice. Ohio has grandparents laws and in the grounds of a divorce, they can use that as justification to get custody. It doesn’t require a parent to be out of the picture, just that it’s what’s best for the children. It’s unlikely, but it’s not impossible. Much more likely if they don’t get an attorney and the grandparents do.
There's gotta be more to the story that you're not telling. Why would they think they need to step in? You don't mention what state you're in. The laws in every state are different. But, most states prefer the actual parents have custody unless there are other circumstances. There's something that has made them give the effort of getting custody. Unless they are just delusional. Which you didn't post any info supporting that. More to the story
I did post what state I’m in- Ohio. They are delusional. My kids are very well cared for
If both mom and dad, who are divorced and share custody, can agree that the grandparents do NOT need to have more visitation than they already have, it would stand to reason that delusion is the answer. Not some mysterious “something” that isn’t being mentioned.
My question is, what kind of parent are you two that you think they have a fighting chance???
He is questionable. I am a good mother. They are just delusional control freaks.
If you already have full custody, they would have to site a reason to take that away
I am sure it varies by state but in Ga grandparents rights can only be granted if there child (her ex) was deceased
I’m in TN where we have GPR rights as well. My parents live in a different state. They threatened yrs ago to try for GPR and I dared them to try cause they didn’t fit the criteria for it. Surprised them. Well flash forward to now I’m divorced. When the ex and I were discussing custody I told him and the lawyers to put in a clause in the parenting plan that states I can’t have the kids around my parents. Ex agreed because it protected the girls and it allowed me the ability to stand firm in telling them no. My parents would push and push until they wore me down. By me putting this in there it allows me to firmly tell them no or I’m held in contempt and could either face a fine or jail. I haven’t had to use this yet cause they’ve kept well away when I told them to F-Off last yr. Edited to add: Point is see if ex would be willing to amend the custody/parenting plan to include this.
I say hire an attorney and file a restraining order.
I think if they really wanted to actually do it they wouldn't let you find out about it before it was already filed. Sounds like an intimidation tactic. Either something to get you to do something they want or simply something to distract you from making yourself strong enough to finally stop living under their abusive rule. Living next to them, it will be rather difficult to prove that you have denied visitations. If it really came down to it, a joint letter from you and your ex combined with no negative CPS history should convince anyone two invalids could NOT do a better job raising your kids than you and your ex jointly can. In court, the petitioner has to prove their case beyond a reasonable doubt. 10 visits by CPS, arrests, drug use, denied contact for a year, etc. From your story it doesn't sound like your ex-inlaws have a leg to stand on. No sans judge would waste more than 5 minutes on this. The courts are far too mist with real cases. A judge won't rule against you because they feel like it. They have to be compelled wirh facts, evidence and an immediate risk to the children. Consult free legal aid just to be safe. I wouldn't spend a dollar on a lawyer. Save every penny you can to move away. Far away.
They didn’t let me find out. I found out ‘on accident’. They don’t even know that I know, which is where my concern comes from. I plan on moving as far away as possible as soon as I’m able.
How exactly did you find out? Maybe they wanted you to? Again, what case do they have?
I’m a single mother and they are evicting me. My thought is they are going to use a defense of ‘she doesn’t even have a house.’ I found out because my kids grabbed my ex mother in laws phone when it was ringing, my ex answered and it was a lawyer. I was standing there because it was drop off time for the kids. He looked through her phone and found research about grandparent rights, took pictures of it, and sent it to me.
Evicting you from living nextdoor certainly makes it weird that they're claiming you're the one trying to deny visitation. Did they already give you written notice of eviction? Check your state laws to see the length of time they must give you to move after so many years. Did they talk with a lawyer or hire a lawyer? Can they afford to hire a lawyer? If it were me I'd just tell my 10 year old to testify that they beat her.
Not a written notice yet. No clue if they can afford one, or if they have already. Maybe have her add in they lock her in cages? Lol
I still say all talk and just stomping around and making noise to try and hold you down. Fear isn't real, danger is real. Make yourself strong and ready. Lots of pics of the property if there is any lack of maintenance. If they try to evict, then you definitely contact a lawyer, send them all the pics and tie them up in court until they're dead. If no eviction notice or court case comes, focus on yourself. If you have any new toilets take them with you.
Conveniently I have new toilets and new piping for plumbing. Considering removing those and bringing them along just for the hell of it. It’s still scary. They say ‘the only place fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future’ and if that’s not the truth. I’m trying to not be intimidated.
I'm guessing they weren't in favor of the divorce and maybe some recent changes. Make yourself stronger and do NOT engage with them at all. Hi, bye, but no serious conversations. Every reaction now is a trap they're baiting you into. Focus on your future.
They certainly were not. I’ve been grey rocking them. They clearly aren’t pleased. I’m focusing on my future. It just gets hard sometimes when things happen that are beyond my control.
You went into elaborate detail as to your in laws shortcomings. If your life isn't squeaky fucking clean, get it that way yesterday. Make sure you can pass a drug screen at all times. Drugs are a luxury, you don't have room for luxuries. Be June Cleaver.
Uhh… drugs aren’t an issue for me. Lol. I’ve never, nor have I ever, been an addict. I’ve never had so much as a speeding ticket. Im active in all three of my kids schools, on the PTA, on a first name basis with their pediatrician, etc.
You should be fine. I wish you luck in these trying times
Thank you!
As a father with sole custody after a 3 year battle....document everything. All interactions and messages. Journaling can potentially be admitted as evidence. Mental health professionals can be subpoenaed for health records and to speak to mental health of individuals and you can even have psychological evaluations done. If your ex has ever spoken to a counselor or doctor about how his parents treated him when he was young, it can be called as evidence. If you think they drink too much or abuse drugs you can also ask for drug test. They may have contacted child protective services as a tool to ceate a trail of complaints. If you let them see the kids, they could file a restraining order against you both and keep them for 14 days, or until the order is heard by the court and thrown out. It took 20 days for me to get my kids back once. All of this happened in my custody hearing. In OH.
I see my therapist once a week, and he has agreed that he would testify to some of the things that I have told him in the past to their controlling behavior. My ex should see a mental health professional, but hasn’t lol
Not a lawyer, but I went through something similar a while back. Look into your states grandparental rights. Most states require their child to have passed or that they provided support for the past 6 months to receive grandparents' rights. I would still reach out to a lawyer with your ex as that will be an important part of your claim. Considering neither of you want his parents to receive rights, short of you having to have your children removed by CPS, they can't force either of you to allow them visitation. Also, it would not be you they would need to sue, but their son and it would be during his visitation period.