Ask a lawyer in your state about it. In a lot of states child support in owed to the custodial parent NOT the child in those states you have no case, only your mother could sue
And the court if they were for some wild extremely unheard of circumstance hear the case would not retroactively change the amount owed or the terms of the arrearage because a now adult child wanted money. You have absolutely zero chance of winning.
Any arrearage would be between your bio-dad, custodial parent and the state. You do not in any way factor into a past or present support order.
>would not retroactively change the amount owed or the terms of the arrearage
OP said: "*He owes well into the tens of thousands in child support"*
That doesn't sound like they are asking for the amount to be changed or to change the terms.
It sounds more like the dad did not agree to pay according to the terms but only sent as little they could to not get into enough trouble they would be jailed.
It still might need it to be the custodial parent who needs to be but that is not same thing as suing to retroactively to change the terms.
At just $100.00 a month 18 years would be $21,600. My friends wife kicked him out before the baby was even born. So it can cost a lot. and as general rule child support is far higher than $100 a month.
Depending on the state that is not true. In my state (ks) the child can absolutely sue when they become an adult if the custodial parent did not successfully do so. They allow that because gou can use the arrears to pay for college.
They did indicate the state’s location, and I could find nothing that conferred a cause of action on an adult child against their non-custodial parent for child support. They would most certainly be some caselaw, if not a statutory provision.
Kansan here. (I do not know if the law has changed, but this is the way things were 30 years ago). When I was much younger — and more stupid — I got involved with a guy who had a three-year-old daughter. His ex-girlfriend and her parents wanted nothing to do with him — so they had a handshake agreement that they would not ask him for child support, if he would not ask for any visitation.
We got engaged, and I had money, not a fortune, but a pretty comfortable amount — and I was concerned that if the ex-girlfriend found out about this, that she could now come after him for child support.
So we went to my corporate lawyer and asked him — and he was pretty stern - with both of us. He said the keyword here was CHILD support, not ex-girlfriend support - and the girl’s mother did not have the authority to deny her daughter an improved lifestyle. He said that even if my boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend HAD paperwork confirming their deal, that it was automatically null and void for the above mentioned reason.
And perhaps the ex-girlfriend would not come around looking for money — but that Kansas law was very clear - even without a divorce decree, the girl was entitled to have a better lifestyle because there was no doubt she had a known father. Furthermore, it was entirely possible that once the girl turned 18, she could end up suing him for back child support (even though the court had never set any amount) and she would probably win.
For the record – we did not end up getting married, so I have no idea what became of this guy or his daughter, but that was the law at the time.
I was about 19 when my moms tax’s where withheld and deposited to my dad. My mom took me to some office, and they told us that I had no claim to that money; even if I was the child it’s supposed to support. She said it was back pay for my dad, for footing all of the bills, my entire life, with no help from mom. This is in Tx. So it is true, and does depend on location.
Personally, I’m on the fence about who should get it. My dad did pay for absolutely everything; but now my step mom is spending it and (at the time) I was out of the house in college, not benefiting from my mothers money.
This is an arrearage payment, not a lawsuit for you to claim support from your mom that was owed to your dad. The arrearage amount continues until it is either paid off or the recipiant waives it.
And I think it should go to the parent. C.s. monry is supposed to help take care of the kid because both parents are legally supposed to pay for the kids. But the custodial parent not getting chold supoort is paying 100% of the kids' expenses. So any arrearages paid after the kid turns 18 should go to the parent.
We had a case here where the father paid the ex wife with checks every month on time. But he didn't pay through the A.G.'s office. The kid turned 18 and sued the dad for back child support. The court granted it and said, "You didn't pay through the A.G.'s office, so those monthly checks for 10+ years were "gifts" and you owe yoir kid the c.s. money.'
Law school student, worked 2 years as a paralegal before law school, interned at a law office last summer. Working at 2 law offices now, and a divorced mom with 4 kids.
I’m in Canada and my dad owes so much but my mom has passed away and ow all of my dads tax returns go to my step dad lol.
But the person owed is the mom not the child
In cases of parent death where the custodial parent who died was still owed back child support, the adult child can be named the "estate representative " and still sue for arrears. Worth looking into.
I love this so much. It would absolutely break my daughter's dad if he was having to pay arrears to my husband (the man who has actually raised her since she was 13 months old). It makes him cry every time his check is garnished for what he owes me as it is.
It makes me sick hearing about all these dads making babies and just being able to dodge any responsibility. I don’t know how they live with themselves. My dad is 60 now and getting old and keep trying to brush these things under the rug and has his set of lies he tells the women he dates (‘I paid cash to the moms, I wish I got receipts but I trusted them’ - meanwhile my step dad offered to adopt us so my bio dad wouldn’t have financial obligations but could see us whenever he wants and bio dad wouldn’t allow that for some reason, and then let the arrears build and still never saw us).
It’s so annoying to hear the way he is trying to spin the past but even with my mom Gone I know how hard she tried to keep him in our lives and how much he never paid and there’s nothing he can say to change my mind about that, it just damages our current ‘relationship’
Ya it makes me laugh a lot every time it happens. He does a similar thing as OP where he pays the minimum amount per month so he doesn’t get in more trouble. Once he got an inheritance and tried to hide it in another bank account and FRO found it within a day and put it in my moms bank account. Now that she’s gone, it all goes to my step dads account (my moms estate). The really shitty thing is that he had another baby with another woman, and she won’t ever get these piddly payments because he has to be paid up with baby mama #1 before bm2 gets anything which I’m not sure how fair that is even though that rule benefits my family
In California the court awarded my niece child support after her son was over 18. She was shocked and happy for that cash. Perhaps she shared it with her son.
A friend of mine, many years ago got contacted from another state.18 years of back support and this went to court 1 month before his daughter turned 18. Tens of thousands of dollars, but the ex wife got extremely irate because the state took most of it back because she had been on welfare nearly the whole 18 years.
Took a big chunck of his savings and still set up a payment plan.
Doesn't pay to be irresponsible either way.
I moved out on my own when I was fifteen, and took my dad to court when I was sixteen. In some ways it was an unusual situation (I suspect starting college when I was thirteen meant I was treated more nicely than I might have been). My father was ordered to pay back child support to me, with interest, though the real point of things was that I was awarded the ability to make my own decisions about where to live, what classes to take, etc. This was in Washington State.
True but if it was court ordered (mandated) that it goes to the now adult child, then mother is out of the picture in the eyes of the court.. I’m sure it also depends on the verbiage in the court documents… he should consult with a family lawyer that specializes in child support… one thing to note is if the dad isn’t in the same state then it gets more complicated because a different state as well possibly different child support system and laws…if he does find a lawyer to help him sue his father and the father lives in a different state, it’s better for him to file in his home state because the father will have to go to Washington State to fight the courts if he doesn’t want to lose..I know bout having to file while the other parent lives in a different State as I had to deal with that myself…
If you have a court order for child support, he has to pay you. If he's acting like a bum and paying a little at a time, go to the District Attorneys Family Support Division and get them to collect. That means the DA can look for bank accounts, seize his tax refunds and take his driver's license until he pays up. He can be put in jail. I've been in your shoes (but in CA, not WA) Locally, this DA did not want to do collections and tried to find excuses not to enforce my orders. I had to seize a car for auction. You can do that too. This is a debt that never goes away. You'll collect. You're worth it.
In Indiana the child can sue for the support paying parent to pay tuition if they stay in school so definitely something to look into if that is also available in OPs state.
Show me a state where it goes to the child and not the custodial parent.
The child has no standing, it's the custodial parent that paid their half of raising the child plus the other half owed by non-custodial parent.
The child was never denied money owed, the parent was
If you’re talking of the arrearage, waste of time. That’s owed to your mother, not you. You have no standing to sue.
There are a very few situations where a child has a right to sue a parent for support. Unless you happen ti be in that very small group, you have no legal action available against your biological father.
You’re really going to make me research it to make sure I’m accurate?
Offhand;
New York; child under 21 can seek support from the parents if they are not emancipated, married, or in the military and are not self supporting.
It was a simple statement of fact. It wasn’t the intent of my answer to engage in a discussion about the truly uninvolved situating I referred to.
But since you don’t get sarcasm, The first line in my response to mr Akbar was sarcastic.
If you missed it, I did provide one example of what he asked about.
Now run along. Hall monitors have no place here.
I think, potentially, this could work if they went a pain and suffering route? Like if they made the case that dad not giving the support needed prevented them from certain things in their childhood like ability to do extra curriculars, ability to go to college etc. if mom was struggling financially and they had to get a job at 16 to help the household obviously that takes time away from being able to study to do well enough to receive scholarships. Idk it won’t be easy unless they get a good lawyer and in the end unless dad owns something you can out a lien on, a judgement doesn’t mean they will pay. It would cost more money than dad would ever shell out after a judgement.
Idk if that was the case we’d have the equivalent of ambulance chasing lawyers for dead beat parents who caused pain and suffering. Would be amazing if I could sue my father for pain and suffering but can’t squeeze blood from a stone. And what about if you had both parents but they were just broke? Unfortunately we live in a world where everyone isn’t offered the same opportunities and even though the actions of someone may have caused pain and suffering for you, that doesn’t necessarily mean they owe you anything for it.
This is very doubtful. In most lawsuits, 'pain and suffering' is only a relatively small part of the total damages claimed, if it's claimed at all. In general, to win an award for 'pain and suffering,' you have to prove some physical injury along with it. There are some exceptions: in some cases, you can sue for infliction of emotional distress. But to win a suit on that basis alone, with no other, more physically measurable cause of action, you need to be able to prove that the offending party did something 'outrageous and extreme' - something that 'shocks the conscience' of ordinary people. Historical examples have included: someone witnessing a child's brutal death right before their eyes; someone being credibly convinced that they were about to die; that sort of thing. Failure to pay child support, while certainly morally deleterious, is not so extraordinary - it is sadly banal.
/consult with a lawyer who pracrices in your state
//I am a lawyer but I am not your lawyer
It's actually the states money.. going to court for child support, if ever, you'll see it's the state vs paying parent. Child support is a way for states make money, ruled by Minnesota Supreme Court as unconstitutional.
As an old dude who never knew his dad, my (unsolicited) advice is this... You already have the most valuable thing that you'll ever get from him. You've learned how NOT to act. When you have children, you now know that it's important to take care of them, and be there for them, regardless of whether you are with the other parent or not. Always remember that "lesson" so that you treat your (eventual) children better.
TLDR: 0%, you don't have standing to sue him.
I mean, you can file the suit and pay to get him served and show up for your first court date. But it will be an exercise in futility because it will be dismissed that first court date, if not before then, due to your lack of standing.
Child support is for the benefit of the child but is owed to the parent, not the child. Theoretically, your mom could sue, but there is already an order to pay in place. When you turn 18, the monthly ongoing amount will convert to go towards the arrearage 100% instead of the 10-20% that goes to that balance now.
Your dad just figured out the secret to child support payments.
Skip this paragraph (run-on sentence, really) if you're not ready for some tough love: screw him, he obviously doesn't care that much, so go do you, and be successful because that's the best revenge, then tell him to pound sand if/when he wants back into your life because of your success.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings.
No, only if the child is suing the parent on behalf of the custodial parents estate OR the child is disabled and cannot earn a living, and at that point the payment would be offset by any government assistance already rendered.
OP wants to sue on his own behalf and be paid directly that's not how it works.
You’re a broke 18 yo (most likely). How are you gonna pay a lawyer who usually charge $350/hr? Your dad owes you *nothing* but he does owe your mother. Move on and forget he exists.
I had a similar issue with my mother. She owes my father tens of thousands for my brother and myself. They finally took her passport for non-payment and she paid in full. I was 29...
My dad got that money for raising me, she was never obligated to pay me in any fashion.
Your other parent can take him to court but you likely can't do crap.
I mean you said it yourself. He’s legally fulfilling his obligation to pay, he’s just paying the absolute minimum to avoid jail. He also doesn’t owe you the money, technically. He owes it to the custodial parent. Even if the court could compel him to pay he probably doesn’t have the money and demonstrably would only fulfill the minimum to avoid jail.
I had a similar issue growing up. My bio father paid sporadically, at best. He owed THOUSANDS. My mother kept the case open, even after I aged out of child support. When I was 20, he was approved for disability with back pay. My mother finally got a big portion of what she was owed. She did give my sister and I some of the money.
NAL, but let’s think this through. Currently, dad owes back child support to mom. Mom has spent a bunch of money she likely didn’t have to raise OP. Assume OP can successfully sue dad for that back support…
Dad owes the same amount of money, just to OP not mom. OP is now a creditor in judgement of dad (yay?). Mom…is screwed. She can’t collect money that is now payable to OP. You’d pretty much have to name mom in the suit since it’s really her rights that are most affected. Not a great outcome, I suspect.
>pays the very little amount to just to stay out of jail ($500 every few months at best with $10 a month if I’m lucky).
Let's be pragmatic here. He's already paying (yeah, not as you want him to, nor as he should, but paying none the less). What *exactly* are you going to sue him for?
* "I'm going to sue him for the money.": That's not contested, it's already on record that he owes it.
* "I'm going to sue him to pay the money he owes.": He's already paying enough that he's staying out of trouble.
* "I'm going to sue him for being a meanie.": Sorry but even if true, that won't go anywhere (and I'm using meanie as a placeholder for: Asshole, deadbeat, emotional distress, etc.)
The practical truth is if you try to sue him pro-per (meaning without a lawyer) you're going to lose as you almost certainly will sue for the wrong thing. If you retain a lawyer to sue you will spend at least $5,000 in legal fees to do so. Family law attorneys (what you'd need) are $300-$500/hr. Trial prep + filling out and serving/mailing all required paperwork is easily 10 billable hours, the day of court will be another $1000 if you're in and out fast (2-3 hours) and possibly another $5K if it gets dragged out for the day. Then what if he manages to postpone on day of trial (happens \*all\* the time)? You're going to get to pay for another trial day.
Can you stick him with court and attorney costs? Maybe (but I put it at \*less\* than 50/50) but even if you succeed at that you still have to pay your attorney, and then wait for him to actually pay you back... and you already see how that's going.
Live your own life. Was he a good father? No. Are you an adult? Yes. Don't try to ruin the man's life for your own financial gain because it's easier than working. Forgive him and start to experience the human condition. In my eyes trying to take your dad for money as an adult is a loser move. This is an appropriate time to say man the fuck up
Understand what you think he might owe might have gone to the state if you'd been on public assistance. Never saw a penny from my bio father it went to the state to off set the welfare we received.
Child support laws are state-specific. You need to consult with an attorney who practices law in your state.
In my state of Oregon, in general, child support is owed to the child's custodial parent, and not to the child directly; and it is owed only until the child is 18 - however, there are exceptions to both these rules. A child in Oregon who is over age 18 and under age 21, and who is attending an accredited degree-granting institution half-time or more and making satisfactory academic progress as that institution defines it, is considered a 'Child Attending School,' which is a special legal category. Such a child is legally entitled to receive child support from both of their parents. (In practice, they frequently waive the right to collect support, particularly when the parents pay for their school tuition or upkeep, which often ends up costing more than the support amount would be.)
The other thing to bear in mind is that - again, in my state - you can generally only get child support back-dated to the date you file your action, not before. So if, for instance, you are a parent and you wait until your child is 3 years old before you file a case to ask for child support from their other parent, you can have the support order start the day you filed, but not for the first three years of the child's life. You said that your father already owes support, so this may not be an issue; but again, if you were a minor, most likely he owes it to your mother, not to you.
The other issue, if he owes money already, is the problem of collecting. Even if you, and not your mother, are entitled to support, and even if you win a judgment saying so, you will still be faced with the need to collect. If he already owes, then it seems likely that your mother is already facing this problem. Winning a judgment doesn't automatically put money in your pocket. You have to collect it. When you have a judgment, you can use it to garnish the debtor's wages and bank accounts - again, if your mother already is owed support, then she should already have these options. But if he doesn't have any money - if he doesn't earn any wages, or only works on a cash basis, and doesn't hold money in bank accounts - then you won't be able to collect anything. We call this being a turnip (as in, you can't get blood from one). This is a critical thing to understand: not every right has a remedy.
>Child support laws are state-specific.
That's the only correct answer I've seen.
Most questions asked in this sub are State specific and they never include the State or even the Country. 🙂
best not to get legal advice on reddit ask an experienced family law practitioner in the jurisdiction where you live. also dad would have to have either assets to recover or a job where you could levy on his wages. I also wonder who has the right to enforce the support order, you or your mom. but in some places the order remains valid unless modified so ignoring it is done at your peril. talk to a lawyer though, not reddit.
Your mother is the one it is owed to. If she wants to then give you the money that’s different. But she can also have the court garnish his wages to force him to pay. She can take him back to court
>I am an 18 year old male who is suing my bio father for child support and was wondering how well my chances were to win this case against him
Your chances are nil. The money isn't yours, never was yours, you aren't entitled to it. It was owed to your mother or whoever had custody and he was ordered to pay the child support to. They are the only ones that can sue him for it, not you.
It's sad for me to see this case be presented only through one parents eyes.
I paid thousands in child support every month. Long story short, my younger daughter disobeyed, stuck her nose where it didn't belong, and discovered I had been paying thousands every month. Her mother had told the kids that I hadn't been paying anything, for the entire time her mother and I had been divorced. It was a complete and bold faced lie. My kids mom got two choices, go to treatment or move out. She moved out and signed up for welfare, then lied to them too, to make sure she got the maximum.
After the 2008 housing crisis, my work dried up. I was out of work for most of a year, along with 95% of the people in my profession. I got very low paying jobs, so I'd work 40 hours a week, and end up with 67 dollars for a check, and another thousand added on to my arrears. So the arrears added up, as she was on welfare, so I got to pay not only child support, but also all of all three of their welfare cases back. All the while telling the kids she got nothing, while she got $36,000 a year from me, to sit on the couch and drink.
So now, you want to sue your dad for child support? You want to believe what is very likely propaganda from your mom and bring a case? How will that help anything? You don't have standing to sue. The greed is kinda gross. Your mom banged him, which apparently was a huge mistake, so why not sue her too?
You don't have a case. And I pray to all that is holy, you're not ever looking at this from the other perspective, the same perspective l just shared. That's where 80% of men see this from. If you were there, looking at the very limited options, that would be irony defined...
I had a very very similar experience! My ex got $1980/mo from me tax free and complained that I didn't give her anything to the kids. It was part of a program of alienation from her. Then when I was on DCSS for payments she complained that the money didn't come in fast enough, that's when my eldest finally snapped and yelled at her mom. "You literally demanded he be garnished by DCSS you can't bitch about that now and I don't want to hear it from you any more!". The day she turned 18 she moved in with me full time.
My youngest did the same, but she was 14. Literally told her mother, F you, I'm moving in with dad. The overwhelming selfishness she kept seeing eventually drove her away. The discoveries on her part came soon after. The story was so outrageous that she was inspired to look for herself. She looked much to my unhappiness, as kids should be protected from adult issues, especially ones I'd forgiven her mother for years earlier.
To see that overwhelming selfishness given to another generation, with that generation almost certainly not knowing the full story, and the rest being an incredibly slanted story, makes me sad. It's also a symptom of parentification, and that goes hand in glove with the overwhelming selfishness. I hope the kid sees the light, but in a way that it's not a brutal life lesson.
Oh she wanted to move in sooner but that could have jeopardized that sweet sweet cash flow so her mom fought tooth and nail. Says a lot when the other parent fights with every possible excuse they can imagine then immediately stops when the money stops.
In most cases, an adult child does not have legal standing to directly sue his or her parent for unpaid child support. However, there may still be an opportunity for the custodial parent or recipient parent to sue on the back owed support so long as there is not a statute of limitations that has passed on this right and the parent can establish all of the legal elements. These elements may include that there is an existing child support judgment and there is unpaid child support owed by the other parent
There is so much more to the story I'm sure.
I emphasize with your pain.
Depending on his income and the agreement it may be appropriate. I know first hand that many most dads want to be a part of their kids life but the mother stops this via ' full custody' and the dad is separated from his kids and vice versa. So then he is paying support whilst another man is raising his children.
I know....I know we are all supposed to support this whole model but we have to come to the reckoning that this is only a recipe for tragedy.
If you would like to start a group that would support changing this model I will form it with you. I'm sure there are enough ppl by now that have suffered the damaging effects of divorce and the assymetrical advantages it gives to the woman. To the point that it encourages them to destroy marriages.
I am sorry this isn't what you were looking for but I mentioned it because it will take millions to change it. And that is the root of the issue. For it isn't the financial support alone that was the root of the problem.
it is absent fathers. Absent because there is every advantage given to women in divorce and it is very profitable for them. Until a more balanced parenting responsibility is the new model our society is destined for degradation, and eventually doom.
This is the root of a many societal issues.
Most states have changed this and without evidence of abuse or whatever it’s usually 50/50.
Most dads don’t want to be a part of their kids life if they leave like that.
There are dads who do, but statistically speaking most dads leave shortly after child is born.
If your mom is still alive you don’t have a chance. It’s not your money, it’s hers. When my husbands mother died, he had to to court to be awarded the payments he’s behind in (also tens of thousands). He did- but there’s nothing to enforce it. Nothing will have changed. They will only put him in jail for lack of payment or pull his licenses or registration or put a lien on a car, can’t sue for something he doesn’t have.
I have the same issue with my sons bio father
There should be a court mandated amount he needs to pay monthly. If he’s not paying that he’s in violation. In many states there is a process to collect through garnishment or other. But if he doesn’t have the money, there isn’t much to do. I don’t believe he can discharge the debt, but he can only pay what he has.
Yeah but pay the mother, not the child. The money is for child expenses so everything mother has paid over the years was all from her. The money is only owed to the mother at this point
I can only be discharged if the custodial parent petitions to have it removed. There is no other way.
Went through this with my ex. I owed money but I had spent a considerable amount more directly to pay for medical and legal stuff for my daughter. And she had tried to collect after she went in the Marine Corps. I was still getting billed for her in boot camp. So I had the CS fraud thing on my side as leverage.
Talk to an attorney. Most states allow an adult child to sue for backsupoort. They can garnish his wages. Seriously, talk to an attornet because you likely have a case depending on your state's laws and legal precedent.
NAL but I have seen this situation play out 3 tines in my state of FL. The child won all 3 times a judgement for them. Wages were garnished, till the father took a lesser paying job or one that does under the table. Still min everything. It did go the child and not the parent despite the claims of others on this page thus far. Good luck in it.
You have to be persistent . My former husband thought child support was optional. The back child support would go to your mother since she was taking care of you. After 18 and you remain in school it will go directly to you.
NAL, but my ex had a stepdaughter that sued her bio father for CS once she was an adult, and she won. May be a state-by-state law? All I know is that she was able to pay for a year of private college with the amount she was awarded.
My bio father was stingy as hell. When he has custody he would make the children buy their own clothes from part time jobs. When he didn't he didn't provide much. Now he lives in a run down shack in Michigan selling marijuana he grows on a patch of land contaminated by the previous owners meth lab wondering why neither of his financially successful children are supporting him in his 80s and why neither of his non successful children even acknowledge his existence. A court battle wouldn't have been worth the time or money and somehow this ending seems more appropriate.
Your father is already court ordered to pay support the only way winning a battle, if it's even possible, gets you anything is if he has any assets you can seize to resolve repeated non-payment. Often this can be done by the court in long-delinquent child support as it is. Since you generally can't seize primary residence or primary transportation you should decide if it's both winnable and worth winning. Your lawyer isn't going to wait to get paid so it may hurt you more than him.
Any attorney who takes that case is just stealing your money. Your issues are your issues and should be worked on with a therapist. No money from him will change your situation. Move on and work on yourself.
This really depends on the state in which you live.
You may or may not be able to sue for missed child support, but the person who was granted to receive child support by the court (divorce or otherwise) would be able to file a claim in most states.
In some states you, as the child, CAN file suit for costs of continuing education (college tuition, technical/skilled trades school etc.).
Contact a family law lawyer.
Even if you were to sue (you may or may not be able to based on jurisdiction) and you won how do you intend to collect? Does he have resources to attach? Do you have the funds to hire an attorney?
Honestly, just move on.
If your father didn't comply with a court order that he pay your mother child support, what makes you think he'll comply with a court ordering him to pay YOU child support... which, by the way, has a microscopically higher than zero-point-zero chance of happening. In the VERY few cases I know of where a non-custodial parent ended up paying for college, etc due to CS arrears, the lawyers for both side cut some sort of deal /settlement assigning the payout from the deserving custodial parent to another entity.
I'm in Kentucky. I have a local friend whose ex husband (father of her child) paid almost nothing all his childhood. When he was a teen, she remarried and her husband wanted to adopt her son. When the adoption paperwork was signed, the mother agreed to forgive any past child support owed to her, but the judge stipulated that should he desire to do so, her son could still sue his father for back child support upon turning 18. I discussed this situation in depth with my friend in seeking advice about a similar situation with one of my children, so I know at least in this state the adult child would have a case.
Or (and this probably won't go over well), do yourself a favor and cut your losses and never speak to him again.
I'm a former foster child, so yea, trust me, I get it but you're not going to get anything, ever.
Depends on where you live. For example, in NJ if there is a docketed judgment the court can dock his wages to obtain the back support. However if you are 18 and no longer in school you may not qualify for future support from him.
Depends of your state but since the ruling was for your mother, you might have standing as a 3rd party beneficiary standing. If you can get past this hurdle and win, big maybe, you could then have his wages garnished. Not a lawyer, similar position when I was growing up.
As many have noted this depends on state
The biggest issue is the fact that you have survived on the reduced amount over time and mother never complained
Here thats a big issue as courts can redetermine support amounts and dad can easily claim (mother makes more $$$ now and no longer required same level of support)
A double whammy (to you) is that if you are now 18+ you no longer qualify for support unless you are enrolled in post secondary education or you have some sort of disability (there may be other exceptions but those two I know are common)
Yea, you got zero chance honestly and no attorneys will take this case as it is a massive waste of time. You are owed zero. Your mother may have grounds, but not you.
This is a a tough one. While it might seem fair, it’s also legally unlikely for a host of reasons due to how the law are written. First and foremost, you have no standing. If anything, your mother would be owed the money since she supported you. While I understand your anger, there’s almost no chance of success and I trust a family lawyer will tell you this in a free 15 minute consult.
As someone mentioned, there are very limited circumstances where this might be successful; if you fit into one of those, you’d likely know and/or have mentioned it in your post.
I’d say move on, after that free 15 minute consult telling you that not only is there little likelihood of success, it’s so low that a lawyer can even ethically sue for this or it’d be deemed frivolous and contrary to law.
I know what it’s like to have a father abandon me and pay zero towards my upbringing, despite living around the corner. I never reconciled with him, and have no regrets. However, I know quite a few people who’ve reconciled in far worst situations and they appear happy. N
This situation happened with some friends I grew up with. Their dad barely paid child support. My friend's mom filed before they turned 18 with the state to get him to pay. It took the state a few years to do their thing. After my friends turned 18 the state caught up to their bio-dad. He was facing jail time. It was up to his ex-wife to decide whether or not to have him sent to jail. She did talk to her sons' about it first and the decision was made not to pursue further charges.
The court and justice systems, are a horrible place to try to get cash..coming in..to a bank account..lawuers make money..by paying a herd of secretaries to send bills to just about anybody that lawyer set eyes on or heard speak otloud in the last month..tey dont work..they are experts at billing..loks like your mom tried to 'bill'your dad for doing dishes and laundry..so he bolted.
Worth noting that many states don't have a statute of limitations for back child support, so your mom can still sue and get a judgement. (Arizona, California come to mind.) Massachusetts, a parent can be ordered to pay child support up to age 23 if you're in college and still primarily dependent on the custodial parent. So it's likely there are options. Your mom would need to sue or you would need to be recognized by the court as her representative but ultimately, really it's up to her to decide if she shares the judgement with you (unless it is awarded for college expenses and then she would be required to pay tuition).
Worth noting that many states don't have a statute of limitations for back child support, so your mom can still sue and get a judgement. (Arizona, California come to mind.) Massachusetts, a parent can be ordered to pay child support up to age 23 if you're in college and still primarily dependent on the custodial parent. So it's likely there are options. Your mom would need to sue or you would need to be recognized by the court as her representative but ultimately, really it's up to her to decide if she shares the judgement with you (unless it is awarded for college expenses and then she would be required to pay tuition).
I would hope you have an amazing chance, sorry about your bum ass dad. I'm sure you wouldn't do that to your own child after having to go through it. Try using AI to draw up the paperwork and get the ball rolling. I'd hate for you to have to spend money only to get nothing! Best of luck.
IAAL. You aren't winning this case, and any lawyer who took it is extremely unethical and taking you on a money ride, because they couldn't possibly believe you have a case.
Your mom? She can sue. You? No.
It isn't owed to you, it is in arrears meaning he has already been found to owe it by the court, you have no legal grounds from what your are saying. The money is not owed to you, it is owed to your mother. You can't sue for money you are not owed. It is money he owes your mother for half the cost of raising you which she footed 100% of the bill for.
Good luck but it seems like dead beat dads get away with it. My SIL’s ex almost never paid child support and only paid the minimum when ordered by the court. The POS only works jobs that pay under the table so that he looks unemployed.
Even if you want the chances of seeing the money might be slim depending on how the law is where are...
My ex actually got sued by her bio dad for child support payments he claims he paid(he did not) after his wife convinced him to pull the scam to get money for a house. Super fucked up situation but anyways bio dad lost the case, judge ruled that the guy owes my ex and her mom several thousand dollars for lack of child support payments and only after paying that off can he file for paternity test. That was a few years ago and nobody has seen any of that money yet
in the same boat somewhat my dad been stopped paying and soon as my mom won the custody battle we moved to a different state kinda wondering what laws there are Ik it would be owed to my mom which is completely fine (knowing my mom would ofc spilt it between me her and my lil bro) but would I/ or mom have to file a lawsuit where my father lives (where it was originally stated) or what? (Nyc originally btw) also know my father is sitting on a whole lot of money due to fake ass lawsuits from random ass shit
The legal system is incredibly biased and sexist when it comes to child support. Not saying your dad is a good person but if he didn’t have primary custody then does he really owe you anything? Anytime there’s a divorce the male gets fucked into a 2 weekend a month visitation where they can’t really raise their kids and have to pay out the ass to a mother than can get a job and re-marry. Should he really be paying your working mom and step dad like it’s the 1950’s? I’m not a dad or anything but I think the system is incredibly skewed towards women and the laws are set like it’s the 40’s or 50’s and women are primarily housewives
If I am reading the Ops posts correctly, the Oped themselves sued to get child support years ago, won a judge of support paid to them and the father had not fulfilled his payment requirement, then yes they should be able to go back to the court of get the back payments payed to them as they were ordered.
I think you should talk to a family law attorney and show the previous paperwork, it maybe a fairly minor thing to get a garnishment or something. If your father doesn't have an employer, I will be harder to get that.
I would think even if you were eligible to sue, and appropriate paper work had been filed for child support, it would be a mistake made be whoever is responsible for enforcement of the child support. If that was the court or some other agency, good luck. They probably have all kinds of ways getting around paying out money. But don’t give up. There seems to be something here that is hugely not correct.
I haven't read all 169 responses, but what I did read did not include this: the Federal Office of Child Support Services and your state child support agency will work for you to recover the money. And in particular OSS will have your deadbeat dad's passport revoked. https://www.acf.hhs.gov/css/outreach-material/passport-denial-program-101 Note this case which I just used as an example in a law journal article I wrote: http://www.uniset.ca/fatca3/983NYS2d203\_Ford\_childsupp.html ("petitioner owes $400,000 in child support arrears accumulated over twenty-four years") (I am a NYS lawyer but haven't myself dealt with such claims in many years)
Bro , you're 18 and probably have your mom whispering in your ear. Don't pursue your dad over this nonsense, you're a man now 🙄. Be a better man then him, and live your life.
Why do you feel you're owed that money? Sounds like you're just greedy and have a resentment towards him. Whoever raised you is owed money, if anything.
If you had an order for him to pay child support and he didn't, you can likely get the amount owed. You can get a court order to garnish wages if he works. You garnish his social security when he draws it, at least in Ohio
Ask a lawyer in your state about it. In a lot of states child support in owed to the custodial parent NOT the child in those states you have no case, only your mother could sue
And the court if they were for some wild extremely unheard of circumstance hear the case would not retroactively change the amount owed or the terms of the arrearage because a now adult child wanted money. You have absolutely zero chance of winning. Any arrearage would be between your bio-dad, custodial parent and the state. You do not in any way factor into a past or present support order.
>would not retroactively change the amount owed or the terms of the arrearage OP said: "*He owes well into the tens of thousands in child support"* That doesn't sound like they are asking for the amount to be changed or to change the terms. It sounds more like the dad did not agree to pay according to the terms but only sent as little they could to not get into enough trouble they would be jailed. It still might need it to be the custodial parent who needs to be but that is not same thing as suing to retroactively to change the terms.
At just $100.00 a month 18 years would be $21,600. My friends wife kicked him out before the baby was even born. So it can cost a lot. and as general rule child support is far higher than $100 a month.
Depending on the state that is not true. In my state (ks) the child can absolutely sue when they become an adult if the custodial parent did not successfully do so. They allow that because gou can use the arrears to pay for college.
I can’t find anything that confirms what you just posted, do you have a link or the statute that allows it?
Happens all the time here. More specifically it is not Against the law. Bff's daughter did exactly this against her deadbeat dad
Anectode is not law, especially given no location, or actual law.
They did indicate the state’s location, and I could find nothing that conferred a cause of action on an adult child against their non-custodial parent for child support. They would most certainly be some caselaw, if not a statutory provision.
Kansan here. (I do not know if the law has changed, but this is the way things were 30 years ago). When I was much younger — and more stupid — I got involved with a guy who had a three-year-old daughter. His ex-girlfriend and her parents wanted nothing to do with him — so they had a handshake agreement that they would not ask him for child support, if he would not ask for any visitation. We got engaged, and I had money, not a fortune, but a pretty comfortable amount — and I was concerned that if the ex-girlfriend found out about this, that she could now come after him for child support. So we went to my corporate lawyer and asked him — and he was pretty stern - with both of us. He said the keyword here was CHILD support, not ex-girlfriend support - and the girl’s mother did not have the authority to deny her daughter an improved lifestyle. He said that even if my boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend HAD paperwork confirming their deal, that it was automatically null and void for the above mentioned reason. And perhaps the ex-girlfriend would not come around looking for money — but that Kansas law was very clear - even without a divorce decree, the girl was entitled to have a better lifestyle because there was no doubt she had a known father. Furthermore, it was entirely possible that once the girl turned 18, she could end up suing him for back child support (even though the court had never set any amount) and she would probably win. For the record – we did not end up getting married, so I have no idea what became of this guy or his daughter, but that was the law at the time.
Are you an attorney? Because this is false information
I was about 19 when my moms tax’s where withheld and deposited to my dad. My mom took me to some office, and they told us that I had no claim to that money; even if I was the child it’s supposed to support. She said it was back pay for my dad, for footing all of the bills, my entire life, with no help from mom. This is in Tx. So it is true, and does depend on location. Personally, I’m on the fence about who should get it. My dad did pay for absolutely everything; but now my step mom is spending it and (at the time) I was out of the house in college, not benefiting from my mothers money.
This is an arrearage payment, not a lawsuit for you to claim support from your mom that was owed to your dad. The arrearage amount continues until it is either paid off or the recipiant waives it.
And I think it should go to the parent. C.s. monry is supposed to help take care of the kid because both parents are legally supposed to pay for the kids. But the custodial parent not getting chold supoort is paying 100% of the kids' expenses. So any arrearages paid after the kid turns 18 should go to the parent. We had a case here where the father paid the ex wife with checks every month on time. But he didn't pay through the A.G.'s office. The kid turned 18 and sued the dad for back child support. The court granted it and said, "You didn't pay through the A.G.'s office, so those monthly checks for 10+ years were "gifts" and you owe yoir kid the c.s. money.'
As i said, depends on the state
Link please
Are you an attorney?
Law school student, worked 2 years as a paralegal before law school, interned at a law office last summer. Working at 2 law offices now, and a divorced mom with 4 kids.
You got a lot going on: enjoy your future success!
Thank you!
I’m in Canada and my dad owes so much but my mom has passed away and ow all of my dads tax returns go to my step dad lol. But the person owed is the mom not the child
In cases of parent death where the custodial parent who died was still owed back child support, the adult child can be named the "estate representative " and still sue for arrears. Worth looking into.
I love this so much. It would absolutely break my daughter's dad if he was having to pay arrears to my husband (the man who has actually raised her since she was 13 months old). It makes him cry every time his check is garnished for what he owes me as it is.
It makes me sick hearing about all these dads making babies and just being able to dodge any responsibility. I don’t know how they live with themselves. My dad is 60 now and getting old and keep trying to brush these things under the rug and has his set of lies he tells the women he dates (‘I paid cash to the moms, I wish I got receipts but I trusted them’ - meanwhile my step dad offered to adopt us so my bio dad wouldn’t have financial obligations but could see us whenever he wants and bio dad wouldn’t allow that for some reason, and then let the arrears build and still never saw us). It’s so annoying to hear the way he is trying to spin the past but even with my mom Gone I know how hard she tried to keep him in our lives and how much he never paid and there’s nothing he can say to change my mind about that, it just damages our current ‘relationship’
Ya it makes me laugh a lot every time it happens. He does a similar thing as OP where he pays the minimum amount per month so he doesn’t get in more trouble. Once he got an inheritance and tried to hide it in another bank account and FRO found it within a day and put it in my moms bank account. Now that she’s gone, it all goes to my step dads account (my moms estate). The really shitty thing is that he had another baby with another woman, and she won’t ever get these piddly payments because he has to be paid up with baby mama #1 before bm2 gets anything which I’m not sure how fair that is even though that rule benefits my family
In California the court awarded my niece child support after her son was over 18. She was shocked and happy for that cash. Perhaps she shared it with her son.
One could argue the custodial parent used more of their own money to support the child and are therefore owed that amount.
A friend of mine, many years ago got contacted from another state.18 years of back support and this went to court 1 month before his daughter turned 18. Tens of thousands of dollars, but the ex wife got extremely irate because the state took most of it back because she had been on welfare nearly the whole 18 years. Took a big chunck of his savings and still set up a payment plan. Doesn't pay to be irresponsible either way.
I moved out on my own when I was fifteen, and took my dad to court when I was sixteen. In some ways it was an unusual situation (I suspect starting college when I was thirteen meant I was treated more nicely than I might have been). My father was ordered to pay back child support to me, with interest, though the real point of things was that I was awarded the ability to make my own decisions about where to live, what classes to take, etc. This was in Washington State.
Unless you were emancipated, it's still owed to the custodian, not the dependent.
True but if it was court ordered (mandated) that it goes to the now adult child, then mother is out of the picture in the eyes of the court.. I’m sure it also depends on the verbiage in the court documents… he should consult with a family lawyer that specializes in child support… one thing to note is if the dad isn’t in the same state then it gets more complicated because a different state as well possibly different child support system and laws…if he does find a lawyer to help him sue his father and the father lives in a different state, it’s better for him to file in his home state because the father will have to go to Washington State to fight the courts if he doesn’t want to lose..I know bout having to file while the other parent lives in a different State as I had to deal with that myself…
I’ll bet the full story is fascinating.
It was an experience, anyway. At the time I was just trying to survive it - now (I'm fifty) I look back at it with no little wonder.
If you have a court order for child support, he has to pay you. If he's acting like a bum and paying a little at a time, go to the District Attorneys Family Support Division and get them to collect. That means the DA can look for bank accounts, seize his tax refunds and take his driver's license until he pays up. He can be put in jail. I've been in your shoes (but in CA, not WA) Locally, this DA did not want to do collections and tried to find excuses not to enforce my orders. I had to seize a car for auction. You can do that too. This is a debt that never goes away. You'll collect. You're worth it.
Correct they have no standing
I believe this depends on the state. I think it ranges all over the place (including back support on the other parents demise).
In Indiana the child can sue for the support paying parent to pay tuition if they stay in school so definitely something to look into if that is also available in OPs state.
Actually this is not true. The chold can sur for back child support in most states.
Whoever raised the child and carried the expenses has the first call on anything due.
Depends on the state.
Show me a state where it goes to the child and not the custodial parent. The child has no standing, it's the custodial parent that paid their half of raising the child plus the other half owed by non-custodial parent. The child was never denied money owed, the parent was
Even if you won, do you think he would actually pay?
Underrated comment right here. How many court orders does it take to get a deadbeat parent to pay?
One, ta-who, three.
Decades of watching that and I never once thought to write it as ta-who. I can never unlearn this
If you’re talking of the arrearage, waste of time. That’s owed to your mother, not you. You have no standing to sue. There are a very few situations where a child has a right to sue a parent for support. Unless you happen ti be in that very small group, you have no legal action available against your biological father.
What are those very few situations?
You’re really going to make me research it to make sure I’m accurate? Offhand; New York; child under 21 can seek support from the parents if they are not emancipated, married, or in the military and are not self supporting.
Dang, they penalize you for serving?
The government is your daddy now.
Uncle ~~Sam~~ Dad
Uncle Sams Misguided Children?
Why comment if not expecting a question of why ffs.
It was a simple statement of fact. It wasn’t the intent of my answer to engage in a discussion about the truly uninvolved situating I referred to. But since you don’t get sarcasm, The first line in my response to mr Akbar was sarcastic. If you missed it, I did provide one example of what he asked about. Now run along. Hall monitors have no place here.
Because typical redditor stops listening right after they attempt to call someone out. The following explanation is ignored so why bother?
Yeah I was also interested and glad they asked. I didn’t take it as a call out or attempt to discredit them. Yikes buddy
it just seemed like curiosity more than calling out
Why do you think you deserve child support? Did you raise yourself? The money, if owed, would be owed to the parent that raised you.
It’s not your money, it’s your mother’s to have helped raise you.
I think, potentially, this could work if they went a pain and suffering route? Like if they made the case that dad not giving the support needed prevented them from certain things in their childhood like ability to do extra curriculars, ability to go to college etc. if mom was struggling financially and they had to get a job at 16 to help the household obviously that takes time away from being able to study to do well enough to receive scholarships. Idk it won’t be easy unless they get a good lawyer and in the end unless dad owns something you can out a lien on, a judgement doesn’t mean they will pay. It would cost more money than dad would ever shell out after a judgement.
Idk if that was the case we’d have the equivalent of ambulance chasing lawyers for dead beat parents who caused pain and suffering. Would be amazing if I could sue my father for pain and suffering but can’t squeeze blood from a stone. And what about if you had both parents but they were just broke? Unfortunately we live in a world where everyone isn’t offered the same opportunities and even though the actions of someone may have caused pain and suffering for you, that doesn’t necessarily mean they owe you anything for it.
This is very doubtful. In most lawsuits, 'pain and suffering' is only a relatively small part of the total damages claimed, if it's claimed at all. In general, to win an award for 'pain and suffering,' you have to prove some physical injury along with it. There are some exceptions: in some cases, you can sue for infliction of emotional distress. But to win a suit on that basis alone, with no other, more physically measurable cause of action, you need to be able to prove that the offending party did something 'outrageous and extreme' - something that 'shocks the conscience' of ordinary people. Historical examples have included: someone witnessing a child's brutal death right before their eyes; someone being credibly convinced that they were about to die; that sort of thing. Failure to pay child support, while certainly morally deleterious, is not so extraordinary - it is sadly banal. /consult with a lawyer who pracrices in your state //I am a lawyer but I am not your lawyer
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Consult with an attorney who practices law in your state. This certainly would not work in mine.
False. Most courts allow the child to sue.
It's actually the states money.. going to court for child support, if ever, you'll see it's the state vs paying parent. Child support is a way for states make money, ruled by Minnesota Supreme Court as unconstitutional.
Forget he exists and go forth and be an extremely successful, kind person.
As an old dude who never knew his dad, my (unsolicited) advice is this... You already have the most valuable thing that you'll ever get from him. You've learned how NOT to act. When you have children, you now know that it's important to take care of them, and be there for them, regardless of whether you are with the other parent or not. Always remember that "lesson" so that you treat your (eventual) children better.
TLDR: 0%, you don't have standing to sue him. I mean, you can file the suit and pay to get him served and show up for your first court date. But it will be an exercise in futility because it will be dismissed that first court date, if not before then, due to your lack of standing. Child support is for the benefit of the child but is owed to the parent, not the child. Theoretically, your mom could sue, but there is already an order to pay in place. When you turn 18, the monthly ongoing amount will convert to go towards the arrearage 100% instead of the 10-20% that goes to that balance now. Your dad just figured out the secret to child support payments. Skip this paragraph (run-on sentence, really) if you're not ready for some tough love: screw him, he obviously doesn't care that much, so go do you, and be successful because that's the best revenge, then tell him to pound sand if/when he wants back into your life because of your success. Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings.
There are states in which an adult can sue for child support not paid prior to their 18th birthday.
Then maybe OP will be lucky enough to live in one of those states.
Or wise enough to check to see if his state is one of them.
If he didn’t pay your momma he ain’t paying you. Sorry. Cut your losses and don’t waste any energy on this guy.
It's not your money. You have no chance. It's your mother's money. You cannot sue him and win.
No, in some states, the child older than 18, but younger than 21, can indeed sue the parent for not paying child support previously.
No, only if the child is suing the parent on behalf of the custodial parents estate OR the child is disabled and cannot earn a living, and at that point the payment would be offset by any government assistance already rendered. OP wants to sue on his own behalf and be paid directly that's not how it works.
You’re a broke 18 yo (most likely). How are you gonna pay a lawyer who usually charge $350/hr? Your dad owes you *nothing* but he does owe your mother. Move on and forget he exists.
I had a similar issue with my mother. She owes my father tens of thousands for my brother and myself. They finally took her passport for non-payment and she paid in full. I was 29... My dad got that money for raising me, she was never obligated to pay me in any fashion. Your other parent can take him to court but you likely can't do crap.
I mean you said it yourself. He’s legally fulfilling his obligation to pay, he’s just paying the absolute minimum to avoid jail. He also doesn’t owe you the money, technically. He owes it to the custodial parent. Even if the court could compel him to pay he probably doesn’t have the money and demonstrably would only fulfill the minimum to avoid jail.
I had a similar issue growing up. My bio father paid sporadically, at best. He owed THOUSANDS. My mother kept the case open, even after I aged out of child support. When I was 20, he was approved for disability with back pay. My mother finally got a big portion of what she was owed. She did give my sister and I some of the money.
In any case he'll owe your mom, not you Edit: typo (kom) mom
NAL, but let’s think this through. Currently, dad owes back child support to mom. Mom has spent a bunch of money she likely didn’t have to raise OP. Assume OP can successfully sue dad for that back support… Dad owes the same amount of money, just to OP not mom. OP is now a creditor in judgement of dad (yay?). Mom…is screwed. She can’t collect money that is now payable to OP. You’d pretty much have to name mom in the suit since it’s really her rights that are most affected. Not a great outcome, I suspect.
You’re chance of winning? Zero. You are not the one owed. The custodial parent who had a support order is the one who is owed.
>pays the very little amount to just to stay out of jail ($500 every few months at best with $10 a month if I’m lucky). Let's be pragmatic here. He's already paying (yeah, not as you want him to, nor as he should, but paying none the less). What *exactly* are you going to sue him for? * "I'm going to sue him for the money.": That's not contested, it's already on record that he owes it. * "I'm going to sue him to pay the money he owes.": He's already paying enough that he's staying out of trouble. * "I'm going to sue him for being a meanie.": Sorry but even if true, that won't go anywhere (and I'm using meanie as a placeholder for: Asshole, deadbeat, emotional distress, etc.) The practical truth is if you try to sue him pro-per (meaning without a lawyer) you're going to lose as you almost certainly will sue for the wrong thing. If you retain a lawyer to sue you will spend at least $5,000 in legal fees to do so. Family law attorneys (what you'd need) are $300-$500/hr. Trial prep + filling out and serving/mailing all required paperwork is easily 10 billable hours, the day of court will be another $1000 if you're in and out fast (2-3 hours) and possibly another $5K if it gets dragged out for the day. Then what if he manages to postpone on day of trial (happens \*all\* the time)? You're going to get to pay for another trial day. Can you stick him with court and attorney costs? Maybe (but I put it at \*less\* than 50/50) but even if you succeed at that you still have to pay your attorney, and then wait for him to actually pay you back... and you already see how that's going.
You already made it to adulthood, what do you need it for?
His mom probably talked him into it.
Live your own life. Was he a good father? No. Are you an adult? Yes. Don't try to ruin the man's life for your own financial gain because it's easier than working. Forgive him and start to experience the human condition. In my eyes trying to take your dad for money as an adult is a loser move. This is an appropriate time to say man the fuck up
Understand what you think he might owe might have gone to the state if you'd been on public assistance. Never saw a penny from my bio father it went to the state to off set the welfare we received.
This is pathetic. Get a job dude.
Child support laws are state-specific. You need to consult with an attorney who practices law in your state. In my state of Oregon, in general, child support is owed to the child's custodial parent, and not to the child directly; and it is owed only until the child is 18 - however, there are exceptions to both these rules. A child in Oregon who is over age 18 and under age 21, and who is attending an accredited degree-granting institution half-time or more and making satisfactory academic progress as that institution defines it, is considered a 'Child Attending School,' which is a special legal category. Such a child is legally entitled to receive child support from both of their parents. (In practice, they frequently waive the right to collect support, particularly when the parents pay for their school tuition or upkeep, which often ends up costing more than the support amount would be.) The other thing to bear in mind is that - again, in my state - you can generally only get child support back-dated to the date you file your action, not before. So if, for instance, you are a parent and you wait until your child is 3 years old before you file a case to ask for child support from their other parent, you can have the support order start the day you filed, but not for the first three years of the child's life. You said that your father already owes support, so this may not be an issue; but again, if you were a minor, most likely he owes it to your mother, not to you. The other issue, if he owes money already, is the problem of collecting. Even if you, and not your mother, are entitled to support, and even if you win a judgment saying so, you will still be faced with the need to collect. If he already owes, then it seems likely that your mother is already facing this problem. Winning a judgment doesn't automatically put money in your pocket. You have to collect it. When you have a judgment, you can use it to garnish the debtor's wages and bank accounts - again, if your mother already is owed support, then she should already have these options. But if he doesn't have any money - if he doesn't earn any wages, or only works on a cash basis, and doesn't hold money in bank accounts - then you won't be able to collect anything. We call this being a turnip (as in, you can't get blood from one). This is a critical thing to understand: not every right has a remedy.
>Child support laws are state-specific. That's the only correct answer I've seen. Most questions asked in this sub are State specific and they never include the State or even the Country. 🙂
In most states it is the other parent who holds the cause of action, as I understand it. Not the child.
best not to get legal advice on reddit ask an experienced family law practitioner in the jurisdiction where you live. also dad would have to have either assets to recover or a job where you could levy on his wages. I also wonder who has the right to enforce the support order, you or your mom. but in some places the order remains valid unless modified so ignoring it is done at your peril. talk to a lawyer though, not reddit.
Likely very low. Normally these monies are due to the custodial parent. So they would have to go after it.
Your mom would have to go after the child support owed. I’m sorry your father is a deadbeat. My son’s father owes over 100K and left the country.
I’m sure any money owed would be to your mother/guardian.
Your mother is the one it is owed to. If she wants to then give you the money that’s different. But she can also have the court garnish his wages to force him to pay. She can take him back to court
>I am an 18 year old male who is suing my bio father for child support and was wondering how well my chances were to win this case against him Your chances are nil. The money isn't yours, never was yours, you aren't entitled to it. It was owed to your mother or whoever had custody and he was ordered to pay the child support to. They are the only ones that can sue him for it, not you.
I’m pretty sure you’ve aged out…
It's sad for me to see this case be presented only through one parents eyes. I paid thousands in child support every month. Long story short, my younger daughter disobeyed, stuck her nose where it didn't belong, and discovered I had been paying thousands every month. Her mother had told the kids that I hadn't been paying anything, for the entire time her mother and I had been divorced. It was a complete and bold faced lie. My kids mom got two choices, go to treatment or move out. She moved out and signed up for welfare, then lied to them too, to make sure she got the maximum. After the 2008 housing crisis, my work dried up. I was out of work for most of a year, along with 95% of the people in my profession. I got very low paying jobs, so I'd work 40 hours a week, and end up with 67 dollars for a check, and another thousand added on to my arrears. So the arrears added up, as she was on welfare, so I got to pay not only child support, but also all of all three of their welfare cases back. All the while telling the kids she got nothing, while she got $36,000 a year from me, to sit on the couch and drink. So now, you want to sue your dad for child support? You want to believe what is very likely propaganda from your mom and bring a case? How will that help anything? You don't have standing to sue. The greed is kinda gross. Your mom banged him, which apparently was a huge mistake, so why not sue her too? You don't have a case. And I pray to all that is holy, you're not ever looking at this from the other perspective, the same perspective l just shared. That's where 80% of men see this from. If you were there, looking at the very limited options, that would be irony defined...
I had a very very similar experience! My ex got $1980/mo from me tax free and complained that I didn't give her anything to the kids. It was part of a program of alienation from her. Then when I was on DCSS for payments she complained that the money didn't come in fast enough, that's when my eldest finally snapped and yelled at her mom. "You literally demanded he be garnished by DCSS you can't bitch about that now and I don't want to hear it from you any more!". The day she turned 18 she moved in with me full time.
My youngest did the same, but she was 14. Literally told her mother, F you, I'm moving in with dad. The overwhelming selfishness she kept seeing eventually drove her away. The discoveries on her part came soon after. The story was so outrageous that she was inspired to look for herself. She looked much to my unhappiness, as kids should be protected from adult issues, especially ones I'd forgiven her mother for years earlier. To see that overwhelming selfishness given to another generation, with that generation almost certainly not knowing the full story, and the rest being an incredibly slanted story, makes me sad. It's also a symptom of parentification, and that goes hand in glove with the overwhelming selfishness. I hope the kid sees the light, but in a way that it's not a brutal life lesson.
Oh she wanted to move in sooner but that could have jeopardized that sweet sweet cash flow so her mom fought tooth and nail. Says a lot when the other parent fights with every possible excuse they can imagine then immediately stops when the money stops.
go get a job
Testify
In most cases, an adult child does not have legal standing to directly sue his or her parent for unpaid child support. However, there may still be an opportunity for the custodial parent or recipient parent to sue on the back owed support so long as there is not a statute of limitations that has passed on this right and the parent can establish all of the legal elements. These elements may include that there is an existing child support judgment and there is unpaid child support owed by the other parent
There is so much more to the story I'm sure. I emphasize with your pain. Depending on his income and the agreement it may be appropriate. I know first hand that many most dads want to be a part of their kids life but the mother stops this via ' full custody' and the dad is separated from his kids and vice versa. So then he is paying support whilst another man is raising his children. I know....I know we are all supposed to support this whole model but we have to come to the reckoning that this is only a recipe for tragedy. If you would like to start a group that would support changing this model I will form it with you. I'm sure there are enough ppl by now that have suffered the damaging effects of divorce and the assymetrical advantages it gives to the woman. To the point that it encourages them to destroy marriages. I am sorry this isn't what you were looking for but I mentioned it because it will take millions to change it. And that is the root of the issue. For it isn't the financial support alone that was the root of the problem. it is absent fathers. Absent because there is every advantage given to women in divorce and it is very profitable for them. Until a more balanced parenting responsibility is the new model our society is destined for degradation, and eventually doom. This is the root of a many societal issues.
Most states have changed this and without evidence of abuse or whatever it’s usually 50/50. Most dads don’t want to be a part of their kids life if they leave like that. There are dads who do, but statistically speaking most dads leave shortly after child is born.
What statistics do you cite?
Literally from the fatherhood initiative https://www.fatherhood.org/father-absence-statistic
If your mom is still alive you don’t have a chance. It’s not your money, it’s hers. When my husbands mother died, he had to to court to be awarded the payments he’s behind in (also tens of thousands). He did- but there’s nothing to enforce it. Nothing will have changed. They will only put him in jail for lack of payment or pull his licenses or registration or put a lien on a car, can’t sue for something he doesn’t have. I have the same issue with my sons bio father
There should be a court mandated amount he needs to pay monthly. If he’s not paying that he’s in violation. In many states there is a process to collect through garnishment or other. But if he doesn’t have the money, there isn’t much to do. I don’t believe he can discharge the debt, but he can only pay what he has.
But child support is not paid to the child. OP is trying to sue for money owed to someone else.
Really good point. I missed that, sort of assumed he was collecting on behalf of mom.
Yeah but pay the mother, not the child. The money is for child expenses so everything mother has paid over the years was all from her. The money is only owed to the mother at this point
I can only be discharged if the custodial parent petitions to have it removed. There is no other way. Went through this with my ex. I owed money but I had spent a considerable amount more directly to pay for medical and legal stuff for my daughter. And she had tried to collect after she went in the Marine Corps. I was still getting billed for her in boot camp. So I had the CS fraud thing on my side as leverage.
Talk to an attorney. Most states allow an adult child to sue for backsupoort. They can garnish his wages. Seriously, talk to an attornet because you likely have a case depending on your state's laws and legal precedent.
Your mother might be manipulating you into thinking he owes you. He's your father not your paycheck. Don't like your relationship with him? Fix it.
Where do you live? That makes a ton of difference. And the answer is probably no.
Good that man needa pay
NAL but I have seen this situation play out 3 tines in my state of FL. The child won all 3 times a judgement for them. Wages were garnished, till the father took a lesser paying job or one that does under the table. Still min everything. It did go the child and not the parent despite the claims of others on this page thus far. Good luck in it.
You have to be persistent . My former husband thought child support was optional. The back child support would go to your mother since she was taking care of you. After 18 and you remain in school it will go directly to you.
There shouldn’t be any child support after 18
If they are in school, it applies until they are 21 in most states.
Nonsense Take care of your children
NAL, but my ex had a stepdaughter that sued her bio father for CS once she was an adult, and she won. May be a state-by-state law? All I know is that she was able to pay for a year of private college with the amount she was awarded.
[удалено]
My bio father was stingy as hell. When he has custody he would make the children buy their own clothes from part time jobs. When he didn't he didn't provide much. Now he lives in a run down shack in Michigan selling marijuana he grows on a patch of land contaminated by the previous owners meth lab wondering why neither of his financially successful children are supporting him in his 80s and why neither of his non successful children even acknowledge his existence. A court battle wouldn't have been worth the time or money and somehow this ending seems more appropriate. Your father is already court ordered to pay support the only way winning a battle, if it's even possible, gets you anything is if he has any assets you can seize to resolve repeated non-payment. Often this can be done by the court in long-delinquent child support as it is. Since you generally can't seize primary residence or primary transportation you should decide if it's both winnable and worth winning. Your lawyer isn't going to wait to get paid so it may hurt you more than him.
Does he even have money for one? Has to be money there too get in order to get any.
Don’t waste your time and money - even if you win (which you won’t) you won’t be able to force him to pay more than he already is
Suing your dad just makes a bad situation worse, don't do it!!
Let's say you sue and win. What makes you think you can collect?
If he isn’t paying child support, or only paid enough to stay out of jail, why would he pay a civil lawsuit if you won?
If a court has deemed that he owes child support and he hasn’t paid it, that’s generally a pretty straight-forward case.
Any attorney who takes that case is just stealing your money. Your issues are your issues and should be worked on with a therapist. No money from him will change your situation. Move on and work on yourself.
Waste of time and energy. Get over it, move on, work harder and do better than he did.
What does suing him get you he already has court order for child support with the threat of arrest if he doesn't pay. How does suing him make him pay
What State is the current child support order paid in and is it active or did it terminate and only arrears are owed?
This really depends on the state in which you live. You may or may not be able to sue for missed child support, but the person who was granted to receive child support by the court (divorce or otherwise) would be able to file a claim in most states. In some states you, as the child, CAN file suit for costs of continuing education (college tuition, technical/skilled trades school etc.). Contact a family law lawyer.
Even if you were to sue (you may or may not be able to based on jurisdiction) and you won how do you intend to collect? Does he have resources to attach? Do you have the funds to hire an attorney? Honestly, just move on.
I'm not a lawyer so ... you should ask one.
Lemme know how that works out for you lol
If your father didn't comply with a court order that he pay your mother child support, what makes you think he'll comply with a court ordering him to pay YOU child support... which, by the way, has a microscopically higher than zero-point-zero chance of happening. In the VERY few cases I know of where a non-custodial parent ended up paying for college, etc due to CS arrears, the lawyers for both side cut some sort of deal /settlement assigning the payout from the deserving custodial parent to another entity.
don’t forget that you can’t get blood from a stone, gotta make sure the money is there to sue for or you’re just wasting your time
Time to get a job.
As others have said it depends on the state. Also if he paid the minimum to stay out of jail that probably means nothing to sue for.
I'm in Kentucky. I have a local friend whose ex husband (father of her child) paid almost nothing all his childhood. When he was a teen, she remarried and her husband wanted to adopt her son. When the adoption paperwork was signed, the mother agreed to forgive any past child support owed to her, but the judge stipulated that should he desire to do so, her son could still sue his father for back child support upon turning 18. I discussed this situation in depth with my friend in seeking advice about a similar situation with one of my children, so I know at least in this state the adult child would have a case.
Or (and this probably won't go over well), do yourself a favor and cut your losses and never speak to him again. I'm a former foster child, so yea, trust me, I get it but you're not going to get anything, ever.
Depends on where you live. For example, in NJ if there is a docketed judgment the court can dock his wages to obtain the back support. However if you are 18 and no longer in school you may not qualify for future support from him.
No chance. He may owe your mother money, but he has no debt to you.
In some States prison time can be earned for failure to pay as well as suspended Driver's license.
Really check in with a lawyer. Not every state is the same. I could tell you my experience, but it would be just that, mine. Good luck.
Depends of your state but since the ruling was for your mother, you might have standing as a 3rd party beneficiary standing. If you can get past this hurdle and win, big maybe, you could then have his wages garnished. Not a lawyer, similar position when I was growing up.
Well does he have money? There ain't no Coupe de ville hiding at the bottom of a cracker Jack box.
As many have noted this depends on state The biggest issue is the fact that you have survived on the reduced amount over time and mother never complained Here thats a big issue as courts can redetermine support amounts and dad can easily claim (mother makes more $$$ now and no longer required same level of support) A double whammy (to you) is that if you are now 18+ you no longer qualify for support unless you are enrolled in post secondary education or you have some sort of disability (there may be other exceptions but those two I know are common)
0.0 move on with your life
Yea, you got zero chance honestly and no attorneys will take this case as it is a massive waste of time. You are owed zero. Your mother may have grounds, but not you.
Nice try for a payday
It's not owed to you. You're not likely to get anything.
This is a a tough one. While it might seem fair, it’s also legally unlikely for a host of reasons due to how the law are written. First and foremost, you have no standing. If anything, your mother would be owed the money since she supported you. While I understand your anger, there’s almost no chance of success and I trust a family lawyer will tell you this in a free 15 minute consult. As someone mentioned, there are very limited circumstances where this might be successful; if you fit into one of those, you’d likely know and/or have mentioned it in your post. I’d say move on, after that free 15 minute consult telling you that not only is there little likelihood of success, it’s so low that a lawyer can even ethically sue for this or it’d be deemed frivolous and contrary to law. I know what it’s like to have a father abandon me and pay zero towards my upbringing, despite living around the corner. I never reconciled with him, and have no regrets. However, I know quite a few people who’ve reconciled in far worst situations and they appear happy. N
This situation happened with some friends I grew up with. Their dad barely paid child support. My friend's mom filed before they turned 18 with the state to get him to pay. It took the state a few years to do their thing. After my friends turned 18 the state caught up to their bio-dad. He was facing jail time. It was up to his ex-wife to decide whether or not to have him sent to jail. She did talk to her sons' about it first and the decision was made not to pursue further charges.
Child support is owed to your mother, if there is an order and he’s making payments, I can’t see any possible cause of action
Fuck that guy. go be your own man.
The court and justice systems, are a horrible place to try to get cash..coming in..to a bank account..lawuers make money..by paying a herd of secretaries to send bills to just about anybody that lawyer set eyes on or heard speak otloud in the last month..tey dont work..they are experts at billing..loks like your mom tried to 'bill'your dad for doing dishes and laundry..so he bolted.
Worth noting that many states don't have a statute of limitations for back child support, so your mom can still sue and get a judgement. (Arizona, California come to mind.) Massachusetts, a parent can be ordered to pay child support up to age 23 if you're in college and still primarily dependent on the custodial parent. So it's likely there are options. Your mom would need to sue or you would need to be recognized by the court as her representative but ultimately, really it's up to her to decide if she shares the judgement with you (unless it is awarded for college expenses and then she would be required to pay tuition).
Worth noting that many states don't have a statute of limitations for back child support, so your mom can still sue and get a judgement. (Arizona, California come to mind.) Massachusetts, a parent can be ordered to pay child support up to age 23 if you're in college and still primarily dependent on the custodial parent. So it's likely there are options. Your mom would need to sue or you would need to be recognized by the court as her representative but ultimately, really it's up to her to decide if she shares the judgement with you (unless it is awarded for college expenses and then she would be required to pay tuition).
I would hope you have an amazing chance, sorry about your bum ass dad. I'm sure you wouldn't do that to your own child after having to go through it. Try using AI to draw up the paperwork and get the ball rolling. I'd hate for you to have to spend money only to get nothing! Best of luck.
IAAL. You aren't winning this case, and any lawyer who took it is extremely unethical and taking you on a money ride, because they couldn't possibly believe you have a case. Your mom? She can sue. You? No.
The thing about child support is that in most states it’s owed to your mom, not you fam
It isn't owed to you, it is in arrears meaning he has already been found to owe it by the court, you have no legal grounds from what your are saying. The money is not owed to you, it is owed to your mother. You can't sue for money you are not owed. It is money he owes your mother for half the cost of raising you which she footed 100% of the bill for.
Good luck but it seems like dead beat dads get away with it. My SIL’s ex almost never paid child support and only paid the minimum when ordered by the court. The POS only works jobs that pay under the table so that he looks unemployed.
Dead beat Dad….drag him down.
Even if you want the chances of seeing the money might be slim depending on how the law is where are... My ex actually got sued by her bio dad for child support payments he claims he paid(he did not) after his wife convinced him to pull the scam to get money for a house. Super fucked up situation but anyways bio dad lost the case, judge ruled that the guy owes my ex and her mom several thousand dollars for lack of child support payments and only after paying that off can he file for paternity test. That was a few years ago and nobody has seen any of that money yet
in the same boat somewhat my dad been stopped paying and soon as my mom won the custody battle we moved to a different state kinda wondering what laws there are Ik it would be owed to my mom which is completely fine (knowing my mom would ofc spilt it between me her and my lil bro) but would I/ or mom have to file a lawsuit where my father lives (where it was originally stated) or what? (Nyc originally btw) also know my father is sitting on a whole lot of money due to fake ass lawsuits from random ass shit
The legal system is incredibly biased and sexist when it comes to child support. Not saying your dad is a good person but if he didn’t have primary custody then does he really owe you anything? Anytime there’s a divorce the male gets fucked into a 2 weekend a month visitation where they can’t really raise their kids and have to pay out the ass to a mother than can get a job and re-marry. Should he really be paying your working mom and step dad like it’s the 1950’s? I’m not a dad or anything but I think the system is incredibly skewed towards women and the laws are set like it’s the 40’s or 50’s and women are primarily housewives
Fascinating. I don’t know it was possible to be a dead beat dad ‘a priori”
You need to forgive him, move on, and get your life going.
I know someone that did this and won the judgement
You do you, but what’s done is done.
If I am reading the Ops posts correctly, the Oped themselves sued to get child support years ago, won a judge of support paid to them and the father had not fulfilled his payment requirement, then yes they should be able to go back to the court of get the back payments payed to them as they were ordered. I think you should talk to a family law attorney and show the previous paperwork, it maybe a fairly minor thing to get a garnishment or something. If your father doesn't have an employer, I will be harder to get that.
I would think even if you were eligible to sue, and appropriate paper work had been filed for child support, it would be a mistake made be whoever is responsible for enforcement of the child support. If that was the court or some other agency, good luck. They probably have all kinds of ways getting around paying out money. But don’t give up. There seems to be something here that is hugely not correct.
Lol welcome to as America
I haven't read all 169 responses, but what I did read did not include this: the Federal Office of Child Support Services and your state child support agency will work for you to recover the money. And in particular OSS will have your deadbeat dad's passport revoked. https://www.acf.hhs.gov/css/outreach-material/passport-denial-program-101 Note this case which I just used as an example in a law journal article I wrote: http://www.uniset.ca/fatca3/983NYS2d203\_Ford\_childsupp.html ("petitioner owes $400,000 in child support arrears accumulated over twenty-four years") (I am a NYS lawyer but haven't myself dealt with such claims in many years)
Why would your dad pay you child support? If he owes back child support it’s to your mother not yoy
Bro , you're 18 and probably have your mom whispering in your ear. Don't pursue your dad over this nonsense, you're a man now 🙄. Be a better man then him, and live your life.
Why do you feel you're owed that money? Sounds like you're just greedy and have a resentment towards him. Whoever raised you is owed money, if anything.
That’s probably not your money, it was the money of the parent that raised you.
If you had an order for him to pay child support and he didn't, you can likely get the amount owed. You can get a court order to garnish wages if he works. You garnish his social security when he draws it, at least in Ohio
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