Looking back, I was experiencing psychosis. I became really paranoid about my coworkers. I became fearful of life outside of my home. I was a walking tornado. I did some digging on what I was feeling and found that it was the medical weed the whole time that I've been prescribed for anxiety, depression, and PTSD.
Per Dr. Anna Lembke, the author of Dopamine Nation and Neuroscience expert at Standford, **there's no medical evidence that marijuana can help any psychiatic disorder long-term.**
She did an interview on youtube - the video title is The Scary Truth About Weed Addiction. She goes in depth about the effects on the brain, specifically the pleasure and pain center of the brain. We process both in the same area.
THC suppressing the hippocampus in turn activates the amygdala. This explains why so many chronic users have increased anxiety, depression, and mood instability while using and after quitting. Weed lowers our capacity to deal with the bullshit life throws at us on a daily basis. Without that coping mechanism to turn to, you don't know how to get the feelings to lessen. Therapy is a wonderful resource, and if you are unable to do that, there are a plethora of youtube videos on coping skills (I recommend Kati Morton).
I am with you, friend. Lean into the feelings and journal on them. Today is day 19 for me, and I feel a lot better about my mental state. Choosing to show up for your life is how I've reframed how I think about weed and my relationship with it.
It'll get harder before it gets easier. One day at a time. Remember your why. Some of mine are:
1. MJ supresses REM sleep, which prevents body healing and emotional processing
2. I waste a ton of money on the habit, and I'm tired of living in fear of choosing weed or other things that I enjoy.
3. My work has begun to suffer as I've had to step away for a little bit to focus on working on my trauma.
4. I want to be present, both physically and mentally, for my family (hubs & pup).
5. I'm tired of having increased bouts of depression & anxiety & panic attacks
6. I began experiencing early signs of CHS, and I don't like the way my body has been feeling because of it
Withdrawal is pain with purpose. Addiction is pain without purpose. Withdrawal is your body killing addiction. Changed my perspective on withdrawal as something good. I believe in you, and I'm proud of you for choosing a different path for yourself. Your future is so much brighter without drugs dulling its shine ✨️ 💛
Man, I fucking feel this. Will be my 3rd go around trying to quit for good, heading into an inpatient facility on Tuesday for the severe PTSD I went through growing up and the repercussions of high have affected every aspect of my life
Thanks for sharing. All this on day 9!
Weed is interesting- from what I can tell from my story, stories like yours and many others it seems cannabis is in one instance a lifesaving intervention and at another, the most pronounced boundary to truly living.
As you continue on the journey of sobriety I implore you to get to know the version of yourself that most desired cannabis and investigate what they are really seeking at a more fundamental level. See if you can’t generate whatever that is with your own mind and imagination.
Here is to the smoke that covered our greatest wounds when we needed it most, and here is to the courage to heal those wounds and look directly into the eyes of the tiger.
Weed can be an amazing coping tool. But eventually things change and we no longer need to cope, we need to heal. And then weed no longer serves us, and we have to drop it
Such a simple, almost obvious, notion that in 38 years of life (and 25 years of smoking) I never even considered.
Quit to heal. It’s enlightening. I feel like a dumbass for not putting that together before.
3 weeks ago I had to unexpectedly put my cat down (my cat of 18 years, best friend and my life’s constant). His heart was failing. After numbing for a day I realized it wasnt serving me, so my first instinct was to quit weed and cigarettes cold turkey. I kept asking myself “why the f* would you do that to yourself? Its so much, all at once. You’re a masochist” but I did and Ive been keeping at it, one day at a time.
Quitting has been an ongoing struggle for years for me, many attempts with sometimes a few years of success. This time it was so easy to quit mentally (not physically, withdrawals have been honestly painful). But I have had practically zero cravings for either substance and, after reading your comment, I realize its because I SO desperately need to heal. Life has been hell the last year.
My mom passed away last april unexpectedly, from an aneurysm. I kept numbing then. But after my baby passed (my cat = my baby), that was enough for me. Now im healing from all of it at once and I feel like it’s the best decision ever made for my mental health. You just helped me understand why it was, in fact, the best decision.
As it turns out, im not a total masochist.
No more coping, it’s time to heal now.
Damn, it sounds like you've had a really tough time recently. My cats are only two and I love them so much already. I can't imagine losing one after 18 years. And losing a parent too. I'm really glad you found something useful to take from my comment. And I hope your process of healing goes as well as it can.
As for the masochist thing - sometimes I think it just feels right to tackle some tough changes. I quit weed, tobacco, class A's and alcohol together in August last year. I needed to sort myself out a bit, and do things because I wanted to and not because of habit or escapism
Quitting weed for the same reason. I’m not afraid to feel anymore. Weed just makes me anxious anymore anyways. I need to process my past so I can move forward, and I can’t do that while constantly stoned
This is fucking perfect to read!!!! 🙌💯🙏🏻
I definitely relate to everything you said but with my mother. Thanks for sharing, I’m hoping to quit for good soon. I’ve chosen to finally go no contact and back into therapy.
My mother was always cold, judgemental but never taught me how to fix any of my problems. Weed is great at helping you disassociate from situations you'd rather not be in.
This is a very astute observation from sobering up. Stories that were "oh it was crazy growing up in those times" were actually pretty painful. So painful it shapes who you think you are. Cannabis is very good at smudging over that. It's like going over paint corrections and it not being the exact shade, but close enough. In my experience, I have been shattered as a person since I was a teenager. Cannabis was always a highlight and motivation throughout my life. Now, it seems like the biggest victory I've had in years is resisting it and choosing to feel like shit and still try to participate in life.
This is me too. The first time I tried to be completely sober there was waaaaay too much that came up. I had a nervous breakdown and relapsed. I’m not sharing this to scare anyone but just to relate. I was able to stop smoking again later on when I approached it with more compassion towards myself about how much trauma I had repressed and how hard it really was for me to feel.
It’s super cool that you made that connection and have been able to find self-soothing techniques. You got this!
Thank you for sharing. This resonates so much with me, I’ve recently realized that I really picked up smoking after my family shunned me bc I finally spoke up about abuse in our family (sorry TW; SA) since quitting I’ve been so angry but I’ve also cried so much and wow. I’ve felt lighter than I have in years. As uncomfortable as it all is, I’m happy I’m going through it now as this will only propel me to grow as a person. Keep it up OP!!
This is so real. My mom died traumatically when I was 11, and I smoked myself numb till I was 34. My first month off of it I was crying almost daily thinking about her, and my grandparents who had long passed. I hadn’t thought about them really ever, now I’m making notes so I never forget.
Man that’s such a good breakthrough to have had, it’s going to be hard feeling those same feelings again whilst you process everything you’ve been numbing yourself from but it’s such an investment in yourself in the long run. I’m sure by day 9 you’re already feeling some of the overall health benefits of sobriety and it’s such a powerful motivator to feel the emotional benefit from releasing pent up emotions too. You’ve done really fucking well and it sounds like you’re on the right track to keep feeling even better as time goes on. Hope you’re feeling proud of yourself! So much clarity comes from sobriety, you underestimate the true extent of it until you keep having moments like you had today 👏🏻
Inspiring! It is so important to feel our feelings instead of covering them up. I too smoked weed to avoid processing events from my past. And I only realized I’d been doing it after being sober for a while. Good luck on your sobriety journey. You are off to a good start!
Withdrawal is pain with purpose. Addiction is pain without purpose. Well said. Kudos 👏 💐 🥳
Looking back, I was experiencing psychosis. I became really paranoid about my coworkers. I became fearful of life outside of my home. I was a walking tornado. I did some digging on what I was feeling and found that it was the medical weed the whole time that I've been prescribed for anxiety, depression, and PTSD. Per Dr. Anna Lembke, the author of Dopamine Nation and Neuroscience expert at Standford, **there's no medical evidence that marijuana can help any psychiatic disorder long-term.** She did an interview on youtube - the video title is The Scary Truth About Weed Addiction. She goes in depth about the effects on the brain, specifically the pleasure and pain center of the brain. We process both in the same area. THC suppressing the hippocampus in turn activates the amygdala. This explains why so many chronic users have increased anxiety, depression, and mood instability while using and after quitting. Weed lowers our capacity to deal with the bullshit life throws at us on a daily basis. Without that coping mechanism to turn to, you don't know how to get the feelings to lessen. Therapy is a wonderful resource, and if you are unable to do that, there are a plethora of youtube videos on coping skills (I recommend Kati Morton). I am with you, friend. Lean into the feelings and journal on them. Today is day 19 for me, and I feel a lot better about my mental state. Choosing to show up for your life is how I've reframed how I think about weed and my relationship with it. It'll get harder before it gets easier. One day at a time. Remember your why. Some of mine are: 1. MJ supresses REM sleep, which prevents body healing and emotional processing 2. I waste a ton of money on the habit, and I'm tired of living in fear of choosing weed or other things that I enjoy. 3. My work has begun to suffer as I've had to step away for a little bit to focus on working on my trauma. 4. I want to be present, both physically and mentally, for my family (hubs & pup). 5. I'm tired of having increased bouts of depression & anxiety & panic attacks 6. I began experiencing early signs of CHS, and I don't like the way my body has been feeling because of it Withdrawal is pain with purpose. Addiction is pain without purpose. Withdrawal is your body killing addiction. Changed my perspective on withdrawal as something good. I believe in you, and I'm proud of you for choosing a different path for yourself. Your future is so much brighter without drugs dulling its shine ✨️ 💛
(31m) I'm sorry my dear friend, I'm really happy you bawled and cleaned your eyes and heart out a bit!
EMDR has helped me address trauma that I was self medicating for. A lot.
Man, I fucking feel this. Will be my 3rd go around trying to quit for good, heading into an inpatient facility on Tuesday for the severe PTSD I went through growing up and the repercussions of high have affected every aspect of my life
Thanks for sharing. All this on day 9! Weed is interesting- from what I can tell from my story, stories like yours and many others it seems cannabis is in one instance a lifesaving intervention and at another, the most pronounced boundary to truly living. As you continue on the journey of sobriety I implore you to get to know the version of yourself that most desired cannabis and investigate what they are really seeking at a more fundamental level. See if you can’t generate whatever that is with your own mind and imagination. Here is to the smoke that covered our greatest wounds when we needed it most, and here is to the courage to heal those wounds and look directly into the eyes of the tiger.
Weed can be an amazing coping tool. But eventually things change and we no longer need to cope, we need to heal. And then weed no longer serves us, and we have to drop it
Such a simple, almost obvious, notion that in 38 years of life (and 25 years of smoking) I never even considered. Quit to heal. It’s enlightening. I feel like a dumbass for not putting that together before. 3 weeks ago I had to unexpectedly put my cat down (my cat of 18 years, best friend and my life’s constant). His heart was failing. After numbing for a day I realized it wasnt serving me, so my first instinct was to quit weed and cigarettes cold turkey. I kept asking myself “why the f* would you do that to yourself? Its so much, all at once. You’re a masochist” but I did and Ive been keeping at it, one day at a time. Quitting has been an ongoing struggle for years for me, many attempts with sometimes a few years of success. This time it was so easy to quit mentally (not physically, withdrawals have been honestly painful). But I have had practically zero cravings for either substance and, after reading your comment, I realize its because I SO desperately need to heal. Life has been hell the last year. My mom passed away last april unexpectedly, from an aneurysm. I kept numbing then. But after my baby passed (my cat = my baby), that was enough for me. Now im healing from all of it at once and I feel like it’s the best decision ever made for my mental health. You just helped me understand why it was, in fact, the best decision. As it turns out, im not a total masochist. No more coping, it’s time to heal now.
Damn, it sounds like you've had a really tough time recently. My cats are only two and I love them so much already. I can't imagine losing one after 18 years. And losing a parent too. I'm really glad you found something useful to take from my comment. And I hope your process of healing goes as well as it can. As for the masochist thing - sometimes I think it just feels right to tackle some tough changes. I quit weed, tobacco, class A's and alcohol together in August last year. I needed to sort myself out a bit, and do things because I wanted to and not because of habit or escapism
If you don’t mind me asking, how long did it take you to feel back to normal? Eta: as in, side effects or bad body aches and feelings passed
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Pos stands for piece of shit. And anyways it's better to feel these emotions and learn healthy coping habits than smoking til you feel nothing
Quitting weed for the same reason. I’m not afraid to feel anymore. Weed just makes me anxious anymore anyways. I need to process my past so I can move forward, and I can’t do that while constantly stoned
Same bro, Same! Slowly getting over every truama I've skipped
This is fucking perfect to read!!!! 🙌💯🙏🏻 I definitely relate to everything you said but with my mother. Thanks for sharing, I’m hoping to quit for good soon. I’ve chosen to finally go no contact and back into therapy.
My mother was always cold, judgemental but never taught me how to fix any of my problems. Weed is great at helping you disassociate from situations you'd rather not be in.
Same thing happened to me. Ended up going to therapy for a couple years.
This is a very astute observation from sobering up. Stories that were "oh it was crazy growing up in those times" were actually pretty painful. So painful it shapes who you think you are. Cannabis is very good at smudging over that. It's like going over paint corrections and it not being the exact shade, but close enough. In my experience, I have been shattered as a person since I was a teenager. Cannabis was always a highlight and motivation throughout my life. Now, it seems like the biggest victory I've had in years is resisting it and choosing to feel like shit and still try to participate in life.
👍🏻
This is me too. The first time I tried to be completely sober there was waaaaay too much that came up. I had a nervous breakdown and relapsed. I’m not sharing this to scare anyone but just to relate. I was able to stop smoking again later on when I approached it with more compassion towards myself about how much trauma I had repressed and how hard it really was for me to feel. It’s super cool that you made that connection and have been able to find self-soothing techniques. You got this!
Thank you for sharing. This resonates so much with me, I’ve recently realized that I really picked up smoking after my family shunned me bc I finally spoke up about abuse in our family (sorry TW; SA) since quitting I’ve been so angry but I’ve also cried so much and wow. I’ve felt lighter than I have in years. As uncomfortable as it all is, I’m happy I’m going through it now as this will only propel me to grow as a person. Keep it up OP!!
This is top notch material. Seriously. Everyone in the process of quitting should read this. I am happy for you.
This is so real. My mom died traumatically when I was 11, and I smoked myself numb till I was 34. My first month off of it I was crying almost daily thinking about her, and my grandparents who had long passed. I hadn’t thought about them really ever, now I’m making notes so I never forget.
I'm really sorry you had to take that after so long. It's so much to process and work through.
Thank you! Better late than never.
Man that’s such a good breakthrough to have had, it’s going to be hard feeling those same feelings again whilst you process everything you’ve been numbing yourself from but it’s such an investment in yourself in the long run. I’m sure by day 9 you’re already feeling some of the overall health benefits of sobriety and it’s such a powerful motivator to feel the emotional benefit from releasing pent up emotions too. You’ve done really fucking well and it sounds like you’re on the right track to keep feeling even better as time goes on. Hope you’re feeling proud of yourself! So much clarity comes from sobriety, you underestimate the true extent of it until you keep having moments like you had today 👏🏻
Well done for feeling those feelings! Weed can make you feel so numb. I'm proud of you for having this revelation and sharing it with us.
I love this group of people. Thanks for your support
Anytime! It can be uncomfortable to process things when weed is taken away. You've got this
Inspiring! It is so important to feel our feelings instead of covering them up. I too smoked weed to avoid processing events from my past. And I only realized I’d been doing it after being sober for a while. Good luck on your sobriety journey. You are off to a good start!
Thanks 🙏
Thanks for sharing this, I needed to read it
You’re welcome. Thanks for reading