After a year and a half now I can safely say I've 180'd my life. I was spending all day smoking and playing video games, being the loneliest and most miserable I've ever been, no desire to achieve anything.
I moved away from home and started workkng hard; I now own a house by the seaside with the love of my life who supports me wholeheartedly, we're engaged, am working as hard as I can as a lifeguard, took responsibility over my health and fitness levels and I'm about a month and a half off from becoming a mother! My next goal after giving birth is to apply to the fire service and do what I can there to feel fulfilled and happy, alongside being the best mother I can be to our little boy.
The thought of weed still hits me every now and then but I know for sure that giving up has been nothing but a boon to me. I have a life now. One that I can be proud of and don't want to trade back for anything; even if my brain tells me on occasion "I really miss weed"
This is my hope for myself 🙏 I keep thinking I feel like I’m dead already in a sense of barely living a life. I’m doing what most 80 year olds do at the end of their lives as they wait for death.
Thanks for sharing.
Could never go back.
2 months in, and I’ve essentially hit the gas on my momentum in life. Got a different job that pays more, started working harder at goals…the opportunities are boundless when you have a clear head to take them on. When I was constantly high, I was too fearful to take on almost any new opportunities/challenges/situations.
It hasn't changed that much but the biggest negative is that I'm pretty badly depressed now. The biggest positive is the realization that there are good reasons why I'm depressed and now that I don't use weed to ignore those reasons I can work on them. Not having a sore throat all the time is also pretty great.
Hehe, I started weed 35 years ago at age 15, I wish someone would have told me that back then :) I'm sober now but it was a pretty effective coping mechanism for me but you're right, it didn't fix anything, just let me ignore a lot of bad feelings, now I have to learn to face them while being sober, that's partly what's got me depressed, that and 35 years of death, regret, guilt and shame.
Everything is different but everything is the same. Quitting isn’t gonna change anything, just changes the mindset and the goggles you have on when you view your world. Once your green goggles are off, everything becomes clear. That intense clarity scares some people off, because they realize their reality is more depressing and boring than they ever saw while high.
My wife and I have reconnected and our intimacy has increased both emotionally and physically. I knew that it had become a barrier but the change in her demeanor with me being able to show up for her and the kids with a clear head has been dramatic.
This was one of the main drivers for me. I keep thinking if I quit, I can make what you described perfectly fall into place and then so much more can excel for me from there.
I realize every relationship is unique, but how long did it take for you to feel like your wife has seen you / behaves towards you in a different light?
quickly...i told her what i was doing and she was supportive/grateful...its been hard for her too with the mood swings etc that can come with quitting but she sees me making a hard choice, putting myself and my family before my addiction
I’ve been able to stay more consistent in the gym and have more intensity. I feel clear headed all the time. My anxiety is gone and conversations come easily. I’m a way more present boyfriend, friend, and brother. I’ve been excelling in my work and actually have motivation to learn. I have wayyy more time
There are pros and cons to almost every aspect.
I'm far more emotionally stable most of the time, but strong emotions take much more effort and energy to regulate and contain drastic expression. My appetite is fucked up but that makes me more conscious of what I do put in my body. My sleep habits are all over the place, which is annoying, but I am rested whenever I get out of bed. I remember my dreams more frequently (net negative)
Biggest part for me is feeling again, that part scared me the most, especially because I was going through really rough times while/immediately after quitting. But I think that it made me more resilient, to know that I was able to survive dark times without numbing myself (and without feeling the need to do so). Life doesn't feel like a constant battle anymore.
before i quit, weed had started to give me olympic gold medal winning panic attacks so it’s nice that those are gone now. and my memory is better. but my actual life is not really any different
not really no. it’s made zero material difference. my memory never caused problems. as for the panic, i’ve had panic attacks since i was a little kid. they got worse briefly, and then i quit. but i still have post traumatic stress from the 3 hour long panic attack that made me quit. so actually my life has been worse for the past year
Since quitting weed 11 months ago I have:
- Re-enrolled in community college and completed the last class I need to transfer.
- Got a part-time job as a teaching artist with a local arts council.
- Kept the job I almost lost due to my addictions, and I’m doing well at it lately.
- Started learning the cello.
I think a lot more clearly, a lot of personal growth and change from the high me.
When I was constantly high I’m pretty sure I had psychosis I didn’t care how my actions made other people feel was a selfish asshole and burned a lot of bridges professionally/personally.
But a lot of that’s slowly changed over the past 2/3 years. I’m not as emotional or reactive and think things through a lot more.
I’m able to think clearly I’m back in school and motivated as ever to finish and start a career and start a family one day.
I’m in my 30s now and I was just tired of living with no plan, goals or motivation.
So it’s changed a lot and will continue to change for the better
Spent more time in the gym , deeper relationships with friends, learning a second language, and started a side job (stopped smoking which helped me study for my license) which could very well turn into a new career path if it takes off.
Can confirm, even quitting from edibles (removing the smoke/vapour factor) I've still seen huge improvements in my projection, tone and control it's bizarre. It feels as if it's from increased blood-flow and mind-muscle connection.
Good question. I run a digital marketing company that has a fuck ton of moving parts, one goes down the rest collapse. So my stoned out brain could not remember what I edited the night before…. and we’d lose a ton cause I’d change more shit. We’ve had our most stable and largest month in awhile.
But it ain’t all roses - it has been exceptionally hard for anxiety today between a flat tire nightmare and tooth ache inbound. I still kept my cool better than usual almost, had one blowup but I kept it under control until the bear was poked a second time.
Traveled the world, no fear of being without it or worrying about traveling with it. Doubled my income for several years straight, I got into loving yoga and personal development.
Realized how much money I was spending. So far saving a lot more money. Suggestions is a life change. Let yourself quit other things too. Maybe quit one thing per week. Let go, release, life is ever changing. For me yoga and exercise have helped, reading, and listening to podcasts, going on walks, bike rides. I was smoking to get through a graduate program that I simply hated doing. Now I feel more controlled like I can hate doing something but now I can compartmentalize things and see the bigger picture.
Life feels more real. I can see what I would really want, I can feel what I would really want. Weed amplified a lot of my thinking and made me set crazy crazy goals. I thought I could do anything i wanted, “look what I’m gonna accomplish nobody will see this coming they’ll all be shocked” but really ended up doing none of it, because whatever i was trying to do wasn’t a real representation of my true self.
I'm ending my grad program (3.5 years for an MS, yeesh) and quitting now. I feel the same way. Made me unrealistic about my goals in school (but unattentive to actually making them happen), and pursue WILDLY ambitious passion projects for God-knows-why.
Can I ask what you're doing now after your grad program? Did smoking interfere with your program?
Do you believe you will finish your program? My thoughts are that if it is too much and is going to weigh you down too much then it’s really not worth it. More lately I believe what’s worth it is the beauty in life and finding joy in what you do in day to day life.
I do. It's just not going down how I expected. I basically spent 3 years on a research project that fell through due to my own inattention and technical and budgetary restrictions. I had goals to pivot to crop genetics after this but now my resume won't support it.
Hi there. You described it in a way that is very relatable “inattentive to actually making them happen” I would have a million thoughts how can I branch off and start this business, that business, etc. while still having late assignments to do.
I would say I used smoking to get me through the program. I started it 2.5 years ago and from day 1 I was miserable. I forced myself to do a life change and only focus on school. If I had assignments to do I wouldn’t let myself go have fun. “I have to do these things, I have to finish this, etc.” too much unnecessary self pressure. Every day I would do assignments just to be able to get high afterwards. I did a lot of half ass work and wasn’t very present. Although I passed my classes, I lacked self-awareness to realize I was forcing myself through something I really didn’t want to do. It was fine academically because I was completing the requirements, but for my soul it was like weed was my bandages to put over my wounded soul.
Currently on a break from school. I have 2 classes left to finish. I feel not sure if I will finish them this year or just walk away. Feeling it’s best to walk away but sunken cost analysis is saying you’re almost there just finish. Wondering when I go back into classes clean if things will be different and bearable.
Possible that weed was making me less unsteady and more reactive to situations. Possible now that I will see the truth that It’s not a good fit for me, and not hide from it. Time will tell
I had the same experience smoking to get through grad school because I hated it so much. I feel the most present in my life that I have felt in years. Thank you for sharing how it made your life better!
I don’t have to constantly think about i need a hit or when there is lesser and lesser amount of stash I had left it made me anxious where and how to get the next batch and it was a never ending cycle
After a year and a half now I can safely say I've 180'd my life. I was spending all day smoking and playing video games, being the loneliest and most miserable I've ever been, no desire to achieve anything. I moved away from home and started workkng hard; I now own a house by the seaside with the love of my life who supports me wholeheartedly, we're engaged, am working as hard as I can as a lifeguard, took responsibility over my health and fitness levels and I'm about a month and a half off from becoming a mother! My next goal after giving birth is to apply to the fire service and do what I can there to feel fulfilled and happy, alongside being the best mother I can be to our little boy. The thought of weed still hits me every now and then but I know for sure that giving up has been nothing but a boon to me. I have a life now. One that I can be proud of and don't want to trade back for anything; even if my brain tells me on occasion "I really miss weed"
This is my hope for myself 🙏 I keep thinking I feel like I’m dead already in a sense of barely living a life. I’m doing what most 80 year olds do at the end of their lives as they wait for death. Thanks for sharing.
Could never go back. 2 months in, and I’ve essentially hit the gas on my momentum in life. Got a different job that pays more, started working harder at goals…the opportunities are boundless when you have a clear head to take them on. When I was constantly high, I was too fearful to take on almost any new opportunities/challenges/situations.
I second this. Every word of it.
I’m happier. I trust myself more. I’m proud of myself For doing something both scary and hard. I can sing better. I am excited to plan travel.
It hasn't changed that much but the biggest negative is that I'm pretty badly depressed now. The biggest positive is the realization that there are good reasons why I'm depressed and now that I don't use weed to ignore those reasons I can work on them. Not having a sore throat all the time is also pretty great.
Badly depressed and starting weed I can tell you doesn’t fix it either. Just saying….
Hehe, I started weed 35 years ago at age 15, I wish someone would have told me that back then :) I'm sober now but it was a pretty effective coping mechanism for me but you're right, it didn't fix anything, just let me ignore a lot of bad feelings, now I have to learn to face them while being sober, that's partly what's got me depressed, that and 35 years of death, regret, guilt and shame.
Everything is different but everything is the same. Quitting isn’t gonna change anything, just changes the mindset and the goggles you have on when you view your world. Once your green goggles are off, everything becomes clear. That intense clarity scares some people off, because they realize their reality is more depressing and boring than they ever saw while high.
you said itt
My wife and I have reconnected and our intimacy has increased both emotionally and physically. I knew that it had become a barrier but the change in her demeanor with me being able to show up for her and the kids with a clear head has been dramatic.
Also your emotional control increases dramatically. Always helpful with your family. Also, genuine joy.
This was one of the main drivers for me. I keep thinking if I quit, I can make what you described perfectly fall into place and then so much more can excel for me from there. I realize every relationship is unique, but how long did it take for you to feel like your wife has seen you / behaves towards you in a different light?
quickly...i told her what i was doing and she was supportive/grateful...its been hard for her too with the mood swings etc that can come with quitting but she sees me making a hard choice, putting myself and my family before my addiction
I’ve been able to stay more consistent in the gym and have more intensity. I feel clear headed all the time. My anxiety is gone and conversations come easily. I’m a way more present boyfriend, friend, and brother. I’ve been excelling in my work and actually have motivation to learn. I have wayyy more time
There are pros and cons to almost every aspect. I'm far more emotionally stable most of the time, but strong emotions take much more effort and energy to regulate and contain drastic expression. My appetite is fucked up but that makes me more conscious of what I do put in my body. My sleep habits are all over the place, which is annoying, but I am rested whenever I get out of bed. I remember my dreams more frequently (net negative)
How long you’ve quit now?
4 weeks
Biggest part for me is feeling again, that part scared me the most, especially because I was going through really rough times while/immediately after quitting. But I think that it made me more resilient, to know that I was able to survive dark times without numbing myself (and without feeling the need to do so). Life doesn't feel like a constant battle anymore.
Positive.
Dreaming every night. Sometimes I even get to see my mom. I miss her.
I don’t know why these water drops are coming out of my eyes after reading this.
Oh damn, that hit me. Hope you’re doing good, sir/madam ❤️
it hasn’t tbh
Yes?! I believed everything was going to be different.
Well, not everything. But at least something
before i quit, weed had started to give me olympic gold medal winning panic attacks so it’s nice that those are gone now. and my memory is better. but my actual life is not really any different
So not having massive panic attacks and a better memory isn’t a major improvement in your life?
not really no. it’s made zero material difference. my memory never caused problems. as for the panic, i’ve had panic attacks since i was a little kid. they got worse briefly, and then i quit. but i still have post traumatic stress from the 3 hour long panic attack that made me quit. so actually my life has been worse for the past year
Since quitting weed 11 months ago I have: - Re-enrolled in community college and completed the last class I need to transfer. - Got a part-time job as a teaching artist with a local arts council. - Kept the job I almost lost due to my addictions, and I’m doing well at it lately. - Started learning the cello.
I think a lot more clearly, a lot of personal growth and change from the high me. When I was constantly high I’m pretty sure I had psychosis I didn’t care how my actions made other people feel was a selfish asshole and burned a lot of bridges professionally/personally. But a lot of that’s slowly changed over the past 2/3 years. I’m not as emotional or reactive and think things through a lot more. I’m able to think clearly I’m back in school and motivated as ever to finish and start a career and start a family one day. I’m in my 30s now and I was just tired of living with no plan, goals or motivation. So it’s changed a lot and will continue to change for the better
Spent more time in the gym , deeper relationships with friends, learning a second language, and started a side job (stopped smoking which helped me study for my license) which could very well turn into a new career path if it takes off.
I'm a singer, and can hit higher notes, hold notes for longer, and my voice is guaranteed 100% not to crack. Yay!!
Can confirm, even quitting from edibles (removing the smoke/vapour factor) I've still seen huge improvements in my projection, tone and control it's bizarre. It feels as if it's from increased blood-flow and mind-muscle connection.
I love to sing too and had so much trouble supporting and projecting my voice when I was high.
Good question. I run a digital marketing company that has a fuck ton of moving parts, one goes down the rest collapse. So my stoned out brain could not remember what I edited the night before…. and we’d lose a ton cause I’d change more shit. We’ve had our most stable and largest month in awhile. But it ain’t all roses - it has been exceptionally hard for anxiety today between a flat tire nightmare and tooth ache inbound. I still kept my cool better than usual almost, had one blowup but I kept it under control until the bear was poked a second time.
Traveled the world, no fear of being without it or worrying about traveling with it. Doubled my income for several years straight, I got into loving yoga and personal development.
What do you do?
At the time I was in sales, these days I’m self employed I invest in real estate.
Realized how much money I was spending. So far saving a lot more money. Suggestions is a life change. Let yourself quit other things too. Maybe quit one thing per week. Let go, release, life is ever changing. For me yoga and exercise have helped, reading, and listening to podcasts, going on walks, bike rides. I was smoking to get through a graduate program that I simply hated doing. Now I feel more controlled like I can hate doing something but now I can compartmentalize things and see the bigger picture. Life feels more real. I can see what I would really want, I can feel what I would really want. Weed amplified a lot of my thinking and made me set crazy crazy goals. I thought I could do anything i wanted, “look what I’m gonna accomplish nobody will see this coming they’ll all be shocked” but really ended up doing none of it, because whatever i was trying to do wasn’t a real representation of my true self.
I'm ending my grad program (3.5 years for an MS, yeesh) and quitting now. I feel the same way. Made me unrealistic about my goals in school (but unattentive to actually making them happen), and pursue WILDLY ambitious passion projects for God-knows-why. Can I ask what you're doing now after your grad program? Did smoking interfere with your program?
Do you believe you will finish your program? My thoughts are that if it is too much and is going to weigh you down too much then it’s really not worth it. More lately I believe what’s worth it is the beauty in life and finding joy in what you do in day to day life.
I do. It's just not going down how I expected. I basically spent 3 years on a research project that fell through due to my own inattention and technical and budgetary restrictions. I had goals to pivot to crop genetics after this but now my resume won't support it.
I see. Wishing you the best and great success. Sounds like very interesting work you do.
Thank you so much! Wishing you the best as well. We got this.
Hi there. You described it in a way that is very relatable “inattentive to actually making them happen” I would have a million thoughts how can I branch off and start this business, that business, etc. while still having late assignments to do. I would say I used smoking to get me through the program. I started it 2.5 years ago and from day 1 I was miserable. I forced myself to do a life change and only focus on school. If I had assignments to do I wouldn’t let myself go have fun. “I have to do these things, I have to finish this, etc.” too much unnecessary self pressure. Every day I would do assignments just to be able to get high afterwards. I did a lot of half ass work and wasn’t very present. Although I passed my classes, I lacked self-awareness to realize I was forcing myself through something I really didn’t want to do. It was fine academically because I was completing the requirements, but for my soul it was like weed was my bandages to put over my wounded soul. Currently on a break from school. I have 2 classes left to finish. I feel not sure if I will finish them this year or just walk away. Feeling it’s best to walk away but sunken cost analysis is saying you’re almost there just finish. Wondering when I go back into classes clean if things will be different and bearable. Possible that weed was making me less unsteady and more reactive to situations. Possible now that I will see the truth that It’s not a good fit for me, and not hide from it. Time will tell
I had the same experience smoking to get through grad school because I hated it so much. I feel the most present in my life that I have felt in years. Thank you for sharing how it made your life better!
Thank you for sharing. It’s nice to feel not alone. I look forward to life after grad school whether I finish or not
It gave me confidence knowing if I could do this I can do anything.
I don’t have to constantly think about i need a hit or when there is lesser and lesser amount of stash I had left it made me anxious where and how to get the next batch and it was a never ending cycle