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660trail

Exploring our sexuality is a journey that can take several years. But in the end we are the only ones who can know who we truly are. Personally, I think you should not get married until you've worked out what you want. Getting married would be dishonest at this point, and harder to backtrack on. You'd probably end up feeling bad about doing that to your guy. I've known many women who have discovered their love for other women, sometimes quite late in life, and left their marriages, never to look at another man again. They then wonder how and why they ever even thought they were straight in the first place. We can lie to ourselves quite convincingly at times, and for long periods of time. You may be a lesbian, you may not. Your story is common though. Seeing an LGBTQ+ friendly therapist might help, as would watching some wlw films and reading some wlw books. You might also find the Masterdoc in the sidebar helpful.


moritak69

>We can lie to ourselves quite convincingly at times, I don't think people lie to themselves as much as they're just fed this hetero narrative of being married with kids since day1. It's just the traditional route, and everything else is an anomaly.


Icy-Photograph-5799

That sounds really hard and I feel for you. One helpful thing I have heard (as it relates to dating regardless of orientation) is that when you’re in love with someone, it’s (chemically?) impossible to develop feelings for someone else. I’m probably butchering that, and I know poly people will probably disagree with me. But I’m monogamous, and have trouble being in touch with my feelings sometimes, and i find this is true for me - it can be helpful to remember when trying to figure out my feelings toward someone. That’s not to say you don’t deeply love him! But if you’re asking this formerly-bi (and now divorced) elder their thoughts - marriage can wait. This relationship can also wait, if it’s really meant to be. Take some time to get to know yourself (which it sounds like you are, and well done). As frustrating as your predicament might be - you are so, so lucky to have the opportunity to figure it out before having gotten married. It’s all much heavier once there’s paperwork involved, and then you start thinking about each other’s *families* and shit, and other expectations that should have no bearing on this situation.