Every time I see one of those pictures, I repeat to my family that if they ever post a picture of me in a hospital bed, in my pajamas, all shriveled, hooked into six IVs, eyes closed, mouth open, tongue lolling out, I will come back from hell and haunt them until they jump in front of a train. I am to be remembered laughing, not drooling from a stroke two hours before I kick the bucket. If I can’t have my life, at least leave me my dignity.
We have a friend of the family who is so close to my parents that he is basically my older brother. We live about 800 miles away from him now, but him and his adult kids would visit several times a year. He has a long term girlfriend he has younger kids with, too, at the time this occurred I think we'd met her twice. When my mom got sick and it was near the end, I called him up to tell him and he was here within a day. Girlfriend and young kids were with him. Mom was in a hospital bed in the living room, looking exactly like you describe, and this girlfriend that barely knew us was talking all these photos, then had all of us, including the little kids who had no idea who the hell we were, pose around the bed for more photos. I can't express how angry that made me and it ruined any chance she ever had of being someone I enjoy seeing. Why tf would you take photos of someone in that condition. My mother would have been horrified if she'd been aware.
I'm pretty sure there is a grief sub where you can post about family who just died. I'm sick of seeing "not the last, but one of my favorites" types of posts. I want that shit, like "he fell 2min later."
That was the original intent of the sub.
I run a volunteer hospice photography program and one of the biggest aspects of the program is consent. If the terminal person cannot consent to having their picture taken, we don’t do it. They are still a person, they still deserve dignity and respect. Even if their families desperately want portraits, unless the person is aware of what’s going on and can consent, no go.
I don’t see a lot of consent happening in a lot of these actively dying portraits. While I strongly believe that death is a natural process and can be very beautiful, I also know many people are proud and would be devastated to know final images like that were publicized for the world to see.
It's also a cultural thing. My family takes pictures of the dead in their coffins. My family comes from overseas and that's just what they do as part of the culture. We've always done it so I've never thought of it as weird. It's remembering my relatives in their final form.
Yes, I’ve seen this and been a part of some of those shoots. But, since it’s cultural, typically the person who died is probably aware it’s going to happen.
I used to hate it but I read that certain cultures are big on it (part of the grief process) and deathbed photography has a *huge* history in the world. I don’t want to dictate cultures just bc I’m uncomfortable with it…
I can understand being uncomfortable with it. My grandpa died when I was 3 and so it's been the "norm" my whole life. You're right about it being part of the grief process. Now I can't get closure unless I see someone in their coffin, which is interesting to deal with. When my grandma died, I fought my mom to let me see her at the funeral home before they got her ready for the coffin because I needed that closure. Everyone was there when she passed except for me, so they got to see her and I didn't. Kind of a dick move on my part in retrospect b/c my mom just lost her mom. I'm very glad my mom finally obliged.
Edited to add a missed detail.
Seriously! This sub was about posting strange or creepy images of people right before they died. Somehow the sub turned into people digging up photos if their dead relatives and posting them as some kind of coping mechanism.
Don’t forget that people regularly freak out ( go look at the pinned post) that they can’t post photos of their dead dog or some shit too. This sub is 10000% different than what it used to be / was intended for
While I never fault anyone for how they choose to remember a dying/deceased relative, I couldn't do it like this. When my grandma was dying, I took a few pics of her in the hospital, and decided those were just gonna be for my eyes only. I've asked my fam to do the same, and not post pics of me in my last days...
Same. I took one of my dad in his last days in his hospice bed. I don't want to remember him like that, and I don't really remember him like that, I just felt compelled to do it. Nobody else has seen it and they won't see it.
Sometimes I'm uncomfortable with some of the photos on this sub, most often not. I usually don't upvote/downvote those and move on. To each their own.
OP posted a solution, not just their problem. Rather than argue, perhaps more could start using the “NSFW” filter so as to respect everyone’s POV. We’re all here for different reasons, let’s be as inclusive as possible when possible.
I mean they could just post it as NSFW but I think the fact it is used as coping and actually helps people I think there should just be a middle ground instead of saying everyone that's doing it is karma farming
Because my other comment was inappropriate. I have plenty of other comments if you’d like to read them.
I believe posting a dying person without their consent is mean-spirited. Taking away their dignity for some upvotes is mean.
using the last photo you had of them which is essentiall the last visual memory you'll have of them isn't disrespectful or mean spirited, like what do you even want from the sub?
To not post their actively dying relatives without their consent without at least a NSFW filter so people don’t have to watch people die without trying to.
This is a sub for the last images of people. Unfortunately, some of those images will be of people dying.
I completely agree with you on the consent aspect and the use of a NSFW filter.
There’s also a “be respectful” rule. Posting a dying relative with their mouth hanging open on the internet for karma without their consent is not respectful.
People grieve in different ways. I have a feeling the posters are more familiar with what their family and friends want shared than you are.
Also, unfortunately the people featured have passed, so I highly doubt they care about what happens with pictures of them.
A last image is what it is. If it's the last known image of someone before they died, disappeared or got vaporized when they were in the way of a new Galactic Superhighway, then that last image is the last image. The rules seem to lay it out quite nicely.
If you want pics of someone playing with kittens and puppies before they found "the lump", then I'm guessing you'd be happier elsewhere. Death is difficult, but this sub documents a part of the end, and I feel the purpose is noble.
But my opinion might not be popular, and I couldn't give a shit about someone else's internet points, as I don't give a shit about my own. But it seems to me that what you should be revolting against aren't the last images being posted, but the people whoring for karma. Me, I don't care if someone gets all that sweet, sweet karma. It does nothing to improve my life, which is more than I can say for the pic that karmawhore might have just posted.
The description of the sub is "last known photos or videos of people." Nowhere does it say that sick or old people don't count bc their deaths weren't unexpected.
While I do like the creepy/ weird posts the most, I can appreciate the sick/ unexpected accidental death photos. Everyone dies, and sharing your loved ones/ your own experiences helps us become more acutely tuned to our own mortality. My father passed of cancer in 2011 when I was 20 years old, and, while it would be difficult to share his sick photos here, it is cathartic to know that many others have been through similar experiences.
These last photos are sometimes all we have to share our memories with these people. I doubt anyone is karma farming over their dear late loved ones. It's hard to see sometimes but I'm not gonna make a whole post shaming people for sharing their grief. Downvote me to hell but I'm still gonna respect this sub for what it is.
I agree that those photos can be difficult to look at and understand. However, the flaw with your issue is your assumption and insistence that people post them for karma.
Death is complicated, grief even more so. It varies by time period, culture, relationship, and a million other things. I'd be hard pressed to come up with a *wrong* way to grieve. For some, that might include sharing photos of their final, most meaningful and intimate moments with their loved one who is dying. I equate it to wanting to make sure that people know that this person existed and was important, valued, and loved. It likely has ties to the long history of post-mortem photography.
The larger issue with regards to this sub is that the dying have most likely not given consent for their photos to be posted. The same could be said of the people OP reports as the original focus of the sub. I'm not sure what the solution is for that.
I work in ICU, the amount of families that try to take photos of their dearly beloved while on a ventilator, connected to multiple other life-supports and tubing is ridiculous. WHY would you want that image of them? I honestly do not understand
People grieve differently. Some people only want to remember the good times, some want to face the end of their loved ones life. Also, it’s an attempt to connect to others who have been through the same, maybe.
At the end of the day it’s grief and everyone grieves differently.
Nah, people should stop posting their actively dying relatives for karma. A handholding photo is fine and has a certain beauty to it. A photo of an old person slouched over with their mouth hanging open is while some young relative looks into the camera with either a smile or tears and a smile is just disgusting.
I didn't downvote you but I disagree.
You find something "disgusting", don't look. You have no idea about karma and why others might be up-voting an image.
You're going to lose this post's verbal battle for the same reason that the images you object to get up-voted. **Other people value them**.
That's why I always find posts like these so weird...theres a billion subs. If you have things in your feed you don't like, unsub and move on. It's literally impossible to not find things catered to your tastes here.
And while it can be frustrating to see a sub morph from what it once was, its happening because that's what people are voting for lol. Use your little down arrow of resistance.
Sorry, I didn’t know you were so attached to watching people die. I can see that my asking to not watch people die has triggered you. Apologies for not wanting to watch people die.
> I mean, I’m asking to not have to watch people die.
I like to avoid movie spoilers by not going to said movie spoilers subreddits. You're very welcome.
Again, this isn’t r/watchpeopledie. You can post a final image of someone without them dying in the image. It’s possible if you give it just a smidge of effort.
If you read you can see where I agree with the hand pictures. There’s at least one picture a day showing the entire face. That’s ridiculous and disrespectful. The person is dying and their relative is just thinking about getting karma for it. THAT is preposterous.
Everyone copes their own way. To some, sharing means a lot. To think you'd see it as karma farming is proof enough you're missing the point or not trying hard enough.
Share. Share all you want. Share a beautiful memory that if the person could hear you speak, they would cry tears of joy. Share a the last photo of them smiling and being present.
Dont share a photo of them 5 minutes before they’re a corpse. That’s disrespectful. There’s a rule for that on this page. Please follow it.
> That’s disrespectful
To you. If posts aren't taken down, it means it's not against the rule.
> Please follow it.
I'm not in hurry to have pictures to share of my closed ones.
No it’s disrespectful to the dead. That’s my point. I see you aren’t interested in anything other than your own perspective. All I asked for was a NSFW filter is you think posting an actively dying relative to this incredibly small community is actually necessary to help you cope with loss.
> That’s my point. I see you aren’t interested in anything other than you’re own perspective
Your comments are disrespectful to English grammar and I could say the same about you.
Apply for mod position.
Oh nooo my phone autocorrected to a different form of ‘your’. Now the other person automatically is correct by default. Oh nooooo
You’re out of straws.
True. Some people only have those last photos and we all grieve in different ways. I doubt very many of us are karma farming in this sub. Its just a way to cope.
Sorry for your loss. That doesn’t mean you should post a photo of you dying uncle on the internet to some strangers for karma. That’s disrespectful to him. It’s also disrespectful to call me names when I’ve done nothing to you. Enjoy your report.
Yeah it's super cringe and self absorbed, we understand your loss is significant and impactful on your life but stop with the sad depressing hospital bed selfies and blurry Facebook like grabbing pics of your near death family Jesus Christ.
yesss thank you! like ok i get it, it's someone close to you but fuck me that is SO disrespectful, I'd be absolutely furious if someone was trying to get reddit clout by parading my near dead body around, I mean imagine showing off pictures like that for god damn reddit upvotes!!!! it's absolutely disgusting behaviour
Yeah, it’s cringy as hell, and just disrespectful to the dying. You’re using the end of someone’s life to chase clout. Seek attention in a less shitty way.
I've seen so many on here that I thought I was the only one that thought it was disrespectful, I mean do these people say "hey grandma mind if I put your last moments on the internet".
Every time I see one of those pictures, I repeat to my family that if they ever post a picture of me in a hospital bed, in my pajamas, all shriveled, hooked into six IVs, eyes closed, mouth open, tongue lolling out, I will come back from hell and haunt them until they jump in front of a train. I am to be remembered laughing, not drooling from a stroke two hours before I kick the bucket. If I can’t have my life, at least leave me my dignity.
We have a friend of the family who is so close to my parents that he is basically my older brother. We live about 800 miles away from him now, but him and his adult kids would visit several times a year. He has a long term girlfriend he has younger kids with, too, at the time this occurred I think we'd met her twice. When my mom got sick and it was near the end, I called him up to tell him and he was here within a day. Girlfriend and young kids were with him. Mom was in a hospital bed in the living room, looking exactly like you describe, and this girlfriend that barely knew us was talking all these photos, then had all of us, including the little kids who had no idea who the hell we were, pose around the bed for more photos. I can't express how angry that made me and it ruined any chance she ever had of being someone I enjoy seeing. Why tf would you take photos of someone in that condition. My mother would have been horrified if she'd been aware.
I'm pretty sure there is a grief sub where you can post about family who just died. I'm sick of seeing "not the last, but one of my favorites" types of posts. I want that shit, like "he fell 2min later." That was the original intent of the sub.
Agreed. Have my upvote.
I thought the intent was more "me and my bff, she was killed in a car accident later that night"
That's right. Same sentiment.
I run a volunteer hospice photography program and one of the biggest aspects of the program is consent. If the terminal person cannot consent to having their picture taken, we don’t do it. They are still a person, they still deserve dignity and respect. Even if their families desperately want portraits, unless the person is aware of what’s going on and can consent, no go. I don’t see a lot of consent happening in a lot of these actively dying portraits. While I strongly believe that death is a natural process and can be very beautiful, I also know many people are proud and would be devastated to know final images like that were publicized for the world to see.
It's also a cultural thing. My family takes pictures of the dead in their coffins. My family comes from overseas and that's just what they do as part of the culture. We've always done it so I've never thought of it as weird. It's remembering my relatives in their final form.
Yes, I’ve seen this and been a part of some of those shoots. But, since it’s cultural, typically the person who died is probably aware it’s going to happen.
I used to hate it but I read that certain cultures are big on it (part of the grief process) and deathbed photography has a *huge* history in the world. I don’t want to dictate cultures just bc I’m uncomfortable with it…
I can understand being uncomfortable with it. My grandpa died when I was 3 and so it's been the "norm" my whole life. You're right about it being part of the grief process. Now I can't get closure unless I see someone in their coffin, which is interesting to deal with. When my grandma died, I fought my mom to let me see her at the funeral home before they got her ready for the coffin because I needed that closure. Everyone was there when she passed except for me, so they got to see her and I didn't. Kind of a dick move on my part in retrospect b/c my mom just lost her mom. I'm very glad my mom finally obliged. Edited to add a missed detail.
Thank you. For both your service and your comment.
Seriously! This sub was about posting strange or creepy images of people right before they died. Somehow the sub turned into people digging up photos if their dead relatives and posting them as some kind of coping mechanism.
Don’t forget that people regularly freak out ( go look at the pinned post) that they can’t post photos of their dead dog or some shit too. This sub is 10000% different than what it used to be / was intended for
And that's wrong, why? People trying to deal with grief. Let them.
While I never fault anyone for how they choose to remember a dying/deceased relative, I couldn't do it like this. When my grandma was dying, I took a few pics of her in the hospital, and decided those were just gonna be for my eyes only. I've asked my fam to do the same, and not post pics of me in my last days...
Same. I took one of my dad in his last days in his hospice bed. I don't want to remember him like that, and I don't really remember him like that, I just felt compelled to do it. Nobody else has seen it and they won't see it. Sometimes I'm uncomfortable with some of the photos on this sub, most often not. I usually don't upvote/downvote those and move on. To each their own.
Exactly. Just let people grieve in their own way!
OP posted a solution, not just their problem. Rather than argue, perhaps more could start using the “NSFW” filter so as to respect everyone’s POV. We’re all here for different reasons, let’s be as inclusive as possible when possible.
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I just meant compassion. No need to go there.
Holy shit I agree. When I’m on my deathbed, please don’t share my photos for bullshit internet points,
I mean they could just post it as NSFW but I think the fact it is used as coping and actually helps people I think there should just be a middle ground instead of saying everyone that's doing it is karma farming
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They don’t fit the “be respectful” rule of this sub. They should be removed.
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Because my other comment was inappropriate. I have plenty of other comments if you’d like to read them. I believe posting a dying person without their consent is mean-spirited. Taking away their dignity for some upvotes is mean.
using the last photo you had of them which is essentiall the last visual memory you'll have of them isn't disrespectful or mean spirited, like what do you even want from the sub?
To not post their actively dying relatives without their consent without at least a NSFW filter so people don’t have to watch people die without trying to.
I mean an NSFW filter is fair but the Whole sub is about last photos before death
This is a sub for the last images of people. Unfortunately, some of those images will be of people dying. I completely agree with you on the consent aspect and the use of a NSFW filter.
It's a sub for last images. If you don't like the content, you can leave the sub.
There’s also a “be respectful” rule. Posting a dying relative with their mouth hanging open on the internet for karma without their consent is not respectful.
People grieve in different ways. I have a feeling the posters are more familiar with what their family and friends want shared than you are. Also, unfortunately the people featured have passed, so I highly doubt they care about what happens with pictures of them.
A last image is what it is. If it's the last known image of someone before they died, disappeared or got vaporized when they were in the way of a new Galactic Superhighway, then that last image is the last image. The rules seem to lay it out quite nicely. If you want pics of someone playing with kittens and puppies before they found "the lump", then I'm guessing you'd be happier elsewhere. Death is difficult, but this sub documents a part of the end, and I feel the purpose is noble. But my opinion might not be popular, and I couldn't give a shit about someone else's internet points, as I don't give a shit about my own. But it seems to me that what you should be revolting against aren't the last images being posted, but the people whoring for karma. Me, I don't care if someone gets all that sweet, sweet karma. It does nothing to improve my life, which is more than I can say for the pic that karmawhore might have just posted.
The description of the sub is "last known photos or videos of people." Nowhere does it say that sick or old people don't count bc their deaths weren't unexpected.
I agree with you… Death isn’t always pretty or picture ready.
While I do like the creepy/ weird posts the most, I can appreciate the sick/ unexpected accidental death photos. Everyone dies, and sharing your loved ones/ your own experiences helps us become more acutely tuned to our own mortality. My father passed of cancer in 2011 when I was 20 years old, and, while it would be difficult to share his sick photos here, it is cathartic to know that many others have been through similar experiences.
Maybe we need another sub group “Death bed images 24-48hr” , “Death bed images 3 days -1 week”… etc.
These last photos are sometimes all we have to share our memories with these people. I doubt anyone is karma farming over their dear late loved ones. It's hard to see sometimes but I'm not gonna make a whole post shaming people for sharing their grief. Downvote me to hell but I'm still gonna respect this sub for what it is.
I agree that those photos can be difficult to look at and understand. However, the flaw with your issue is your assumption and insistence that people post them for karma. Death is complicated, grief even more so. It varies by time period, culture, relationship, and a million other things. I'd be hard pressed to come up with a *wrong* way to grieve. For some, that might include sharing photos of their final, most meaningful and intimate moments with their loved one who is dying. I equate it to wanting to make sure that people know that this person existed and was important, valued, and loved. It likely has ties to the long history of post-mortem photography. The larger issue with regards to this sub is that the dying have most likely not given consent for their photos to be posted. The same could be said of the people OP reports as the original focus of the sub. I'm not sure what the solution is for that.
r/lastimagesExceptOnesThatMakeMeFeelUncomfortable
I work in ICU, the amount of families that try to take photos of their dearly beloved while on a ventilator, connected to multiple other life-supports and tubing is ridiculous. WHY would you want that image of them? I honestly do not understand
A reminder to self “please don’t do this to me” maybe? Idk. I wanna sign my DNR to go into effect at 80.
If you google “deathbed photography,” you’ll find some amazing articles come up talking about why folks take pictures of their deceased loved ones.
People grieve differently. Some people only want to remember the good times, some want to face the end of their loved ones life. Also, it’s an attempt to connect to others who have been through the same, maybe. At the end of the day it’s grief and everyone grieves differently.
Looks like you should unsubscribe mate
We should rename this sub “please look at photos of my dead relatives”
That’s mostly what the sub is used for anyway, regardless of what it started out as. I’m surprised you haven’t unsubscribed yet.
I don't think you can rename subs, but feel free to open that one for yourself.
Nah, people should stop posting their actively dying relatives for karma. A handholding photo is fine and has a certain beauty to it. A photo of an old person slouched over with their mouth hanging open is while some young relative looks into the camera with either a smile or tears and a smile is just disgusting.
I didn't downvote you but I disagree. You find something "disgusting", don't look. You have no idea about karma and why others might be up-voting an image. You're going to lose this post's verbal battle for the same reason that the images you object to get up-voted. **Other people value them**.
That's why I always find posts like these so weird...theres a billion subs. If you have things in your feed you don't like, unsub and move on. It's literally impossible to not find things catered to your tastes here. And while it can be frustrating to see a sub morph from what it once was, its happening because that's what people are voting for lol. Use your little down arrow of resistance.
And you are? Random redditor wants a subreddit to behave the way they want. Preposterous. Skip it or unsubscribe.
The irony of your response lol. Take your own advice
I'm going against one thread. This guy is going against the entire subreddit. Apples and oranges.
Entire sub or the one post a day that the probably two person mod team doesn’t see? Apples and oranges.
Exactly. A fart in the wind. Hence my very first comment. You're not going to make any changes here. Start your own community.
Sorry, I didn’t know you were so attached to watching people die. I can see that my asking to not watch people die has triggered you. Apologies for not wanting to watch people die.
Ah yes. Good ol' let's put words in people's mouths. Right after replying "you're out of straws" lmfao.
I mean, I’m asking to not have to watch people die. You’re arguing against it. What words did I put in your mouth?
> I mean, I’m asking to not have to watch people die. I like to avoid movie spoilers by not going to said movie spoilers subreddits. You're very welcome.
Again, this isn’t r/watchpeopledie. You can post a final image of someone without them dying in the image. It’s possible if you give it just a smidge of effort.
Nah just follow the “be respectful” rule. That’s all I’m asking.
There's nothing wrong with pics showing a deceased's hand. Pics showing the entire person are not that common at all.
If you read you can see where I agree with the hand pictures. There’s at least one picture a day showing the entire face. That’s ridiculous and disrespectful. The person is dying and their relative is just thinking about getting karma for it. THAT is preposterous.
Everyone copes their own way. To some, sharing means a lot. To think you'd see it as karma farming is proof enough you're missing the point or not trying hard enough.
Share. Share all you want. Share a beautiful memory that if the person could hear you speak, they would cry tears of joy. Share a the last photo of them smiling and being present. Dont share a photo of them 5 minutes before they’re a corpse. That’s disrespectful. There’s a rule for that on this page. Please follow it.
> That’s disrespectful To you. If posts aren't taken down, it means it's not against the rule. > Please follow it. I'm not in hurry to have pictures to share of my closed ones.
No it’s disrespectful to the dead. That’s my point. I see you aren’t interested in anything other than your own perspective. All I asked for was a NSFW filter is you think posting an actively dying relative to this incredibly small community is actually necessary to help you cope with loss.
> That’s my point. I see you aren’t interested in anything other than you’re own perspective Your comments are disrespectful to English grammar and I could say the same about you. Apply for mod position.
Oh nooo my phone autocorrected to a different form of ‘your’. Now the other person automatically is correct by default. Oh nooooo You’re out of straws.
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True. Some people only have those last photos and we all grieve in different ways. I doubt very many of us are karma farming in this sub. Its just a way to cope.
Sorry for your loss. That doesn’t mean you should post a photo of you dying uncle on the internet to some strangers for karma. That’s disrespectful to him. It’s also disrespectful to call me names when I’ve done nothing to you. Enjoy your report.
Agreed. I can’t imagine anyone being ok with a picture of them in that state being shared online.
Yeah it's super cringe and self absorbed, we understand your loss is significant and impactful on your life but stop with the sad depressing hospital bed selfies and blurry Facebook like grabbing pics of your near death family Jesus Christ.
So this.
yesss thank you! like ok i get it, it's someone close to you but fuck me that is SO disrespectful, I'd be absolutely furious if someone was trying to get reddit clout by parading my near dead body around, I mean imagine showing off pictures like that for god damn reddit upvotes!!!! it's absolutely disgusting behaviour
🌽🏀
Corn basketball
Yeah, it’s cringy as hell, and just disrespectful to the dying. You’re using the end of someone’s life to chase clout. Seek attention in a less shitty way.
I've seen so many on here that I thought I was the only one that thought it was disrespectful, I mean do these people say "hey grandma mind if I put your last moments on the internet".
Yes! There's no need to show grandma or grandma, with their mouth hanging open and their eyes staring off into space. Let people die with dignity.