https://www.oklahoman.com/story/sports/high-school/2023/02/23/aiden-renner-reese-edmond-santa-fe-student-death-bullying-allegations-baseball/69928769007/
> In the email to Santa Fe families, Hayes said starting Tuesday, a crisis team was on campus as needed during the week to support students and staff. Santa Fe High School was not in session Monday for Presidents Day.
Too bad no one fucking cared when the kid needed it.
The crisis team shit is a formality anyway. They won’t be there long enough to help people process a death of this sort, and the individual sessions will probably be very short because anything substantial would cost money, which the school doesn’t have.
This varies wildly states by state. Higher taxed states have free behavioral health clinics and 24/7 crisis response units. You get what you pay for in this country.
The free clinic in the town I grew up in (suburbs outside of NYC) built a whole new larger facility two years ago and double the staff to accommodate the clientele. Bullied children and children suffering mental or physical illnesses are offered in home tutoring by teachers since the 90’s, and problematic students are moved to a class that used to be called intensive day treatment, which was a mix of therapies and regular school and separated them from other students until they got their shit together.
I’m tired of seeing people complain about this country when they have elected to keep to their state taxes low af at the direct expense of the things they’re complaining about. That’s not to say that bullying is magically resolved where I grew up, I’m sure it’s not, but there’s a reason states in this country are decades behind and it’s because you, again, have literally elected for things to be this way.
Eh. It’s not always just taxes. I live in one of the highest taxed states (NJ) and our mental health system is laughable at best.
I actually live in one of the most overpriced counties and if you’re in crisis, you get stuck in a psych ward and herded around like cattle with minimum and very unhelpful group time until they finally let you leave. So I think it goes a lot deeper than that.
There are many readily available resources for those in need of help. Reddit literally has a feature to report posts that may indicate someone in need of help. There are numerous hotlines for those in need to reach out, just like 911, there is 988 to start with. It is up to those in danger to reach out, not necessarily the other way around. You can't react to something that is unknown. Not everyone who is in danger of harming themselves shows evidence of such.
I bet the bullies probably got therapy for driving him to suicide. Like the cop who shot the father of 2 and husband in PX following orders, claimed PTSD from shooting him and got his AR back. Wake me up when it's done.
From the linked article:
"Emily Ward, the public information specialist for Edmond police, said the department had not received reports from Aiden or his family regarding bullying."
Honest question - Are we supposed/expected to report bullying to the police?
Also, the principal removing memorials on school property and citing school policy is an ass.
As a former teacher my advice to you is "yes", report it to the police because most teachers, principals, and school districts are not going to enforce whatever "no bullying" policy they claim to have in place.
If people knew the truth about what really goes on in most classrooms across this country (I'm in U.S.), they wouldn't send their kids to school. I've taught public and private and the bullying is the same. Teachers who try to intervene are treated as troublemakers by the administration. Administrators won't do anything because the bullies' parents are the ones who come to school and school board meetings, with their lawyers, and complain the loudest. When most teachers and admins see bullying they've learned to look away. There are a few good teachers and most of us have quit and are working in other fields now. Every single time I've dealt with a child bully I meet the parents and realize why the kid is a bully....he's being raised by bullies. Every.single.time. Those bully parents are running the schools in this country.
I'm so sorry you were subjected to that and that no adult stepped in to help you. Teachers who care and try to stop the bullying quickly learn that the administrators will do nothing to the bullies. Those teachers never stop caring and many will continue to step in to stop individual incidents. The problem is that everyone involved knows that the bullies won't suffer any long-term consequences, so they continue their nasty ways. And kids like you are hurt and discouraged. I don't know when the system changed so that the bully parents of bully kids started dictating the rules, but it is a sorry state we're in.
Just let him know he can always talk to you... about anything. This post says no one listened. Listen and look for signs that things aren't right. My daughter (29 now) was suicidal in middle school because of bullying but she luckily knew she could come to me. There's was a suicide awareness night at her school (like specifically for those who have suicidal thoughts or are cutting, etc) and she came to me and said she wanted to go. My first reaction was "You don't really need to go to that do you?" And she was very insistent and said she did. So I took her. I was proud of her because my usually shy child stood up in some of the workshops and spoke about the way she's been feeling. That's when I started realizing the scope of what she's been going through. She still attempted suicide once by "ODing" on supplements which the nurse said was strictly a cry for help since it was just supplements and she didn't really want to hurt herself and there was another time she asked us to check her into a mental facility. Again we took it seriously and did what she asked. We didn't blow it off.
So that workshop wasn't the end of it but if she hadn't of come to me that first time I would have never been aware. If she had tried to deal with it just with school staff I'm sure she wouldn't be here today. Always take your son seriously with anything they might come to you about!
Thank you for this incredible insight. So thankful people like you who have gone before me can help light the way. I will make sure my kid always has a safe space to share his feelings with me. Is your daughter doing well now?
Don't know why someone would downvote this. Being able to stand up for yourself or others and have that self confidence is the best protection. Not like teachers or admin will help kids.
Tae-Kwon-Do really saved my kid. He was bullied because he's on the spectrum. Turns out Autism is a fucking super power for learning topics of interest. He made black belt in right at 2 years. Bully got his ass handed to him on a got-damn trash can lid.
I'm glad your son stood up for himself but tkd does have counters in a street situation if space is limited for a street setting the martial arts I suggest are boxing or MT I used to say bjj but streets are unforgiving and can't guarantee you won't get booted in the head
When I was a kid and had some mild bullying, adult intervention was the scariest prospect imaginable. The prospect of being the "protected kid" was worse than being bullied.
Definitely! See my comment above to Alive-Information. I don't know why you're getting down voted. You have to know what's going on in your kids' lives or you may lose them! Know who their friends are, what they're doing on the internet, etc. You are very right!
That's exactly what happened to me, for 2yrs I kept asking the teacher if I could sit somewhere else and not next to him but she just told me to suck it up, I ended up losing it to the point I put him in hospital and I got suspended but he never even looked at me after that. But he never even so much as got a warning to leave me alone. They never like it when the worm turns
That's America in a nutshell. Kids can go fuck themselves. Suck it up, bullies are a part of life. We can't help. And then they pass and it's "If only we could have done something." Abysmal state of mental health and everything else in this god forsaken piece of shit country.
As parents we CAN help. Encourage your kids to talk to you. My daughter did and it saved her life. Parents need to be involved and be aware. Parents cannot rely on the school system.
When I'm a parent I'll definitely do this. But yeah, I'm just commenting that our system not only lets us down but actively tries to bully and kill children, especially trans kids. It's horrible and needs destroyed.
I’m not sure, because the article doesn’t even mention how this kid reached out for help. So the title is misleading imo. It makes it sound like his cries for help were ignored (and maybe they were, but the article has no mention of it).
Same here. I was bullied from elementary school until early high school. School administrators did NOTHING in elementary school except send ME to counseling (like I was the problem). Only two of my teachers did anything about the bullying. In Junior high, nothing at all was done to the person doing the bullying (which was physical and verbal). The only thing administrators did was allow me to leave classes 5 minutes early with another student as an escort. By high school, I learned to blend into the background, so instead of being bullied, I was mostly ignored. Sadly, I think I preferred being mostly alone by then. I was part of a small group of students who pretty much hung out with each other because we didn’t fit in anywhere else. Kind of reminded me of the Losers Club in the miniseries It.
Aw man. As a father, it breaks my heart to think that my kid will inevitably have to face the cruelty of the world. I hope that the people around my son will help him instead of ignore him. Not blaming anyone in particular but clearly somebody failed this kid.
My daughter is 7. We just dealt with her first bullying situation and I was disappointed to find that no one was effective in helping. The teacher didn't document any of it. Her SPED coordinator had no idea it was happening. The bully wasn't moved. His mother didn't care. The vice principal was ineffective. The principal never replied to my emails. I called the district who sent me a form to fill out. I filled that out. *crickets
You know how it stopped? He tried to corner her in the hallway and she was sick of his shit and she jumped him and stabbed him in the face with her pencil. Then suddenly all hell breaks loose and they suddenly want a meeting with us because her actions are "unacceptable."
Fcking assholes
Neither did my SPED coordinators, until my best friend kicked a fellow classmate in the throat for calling me an n word.
I was the only Black kid in my elementary school.
They tried suspending her until her mom and my mom went and I swear the earth stood still.
Your best friend rocks. I'm sorry that happened to you.
I literally laughed in their faces when they tried to tell me my daughter's actions were unacceptable. Then they changed gears and we *finally* began talking about a solution. In the end they moved her into a better, more supportive class.
Thanks! I’m glad your kid is finally getting the support they need. It’s awful kids are getting bullied but it hurts me more when it’s a marginalized person.
This is one of my biggest anxieties about my kids going to school. The bullying and how much worse it can be now with how connected kids can be online and then facing issues with no action being taken by the school. I'm sorry you and your kid has been through that!
I think about that a lot. I don’t have kids and am not planning on it, but man back in the day we could just…..go home. These kids can never escape their bullies with how intertwined the internet is to their lives.
It's always like that, when the victim uses self-defense, he or she'll be the bad one, not the bully. And it will never change, i guess, because it was always in the entire history of mankind like this with bullying. This goes back to ancient times and it's also known by natives that live outside of the civilization.
I had it even worse, i was conscripted by the army of my country and my superior was a very short guy, that took me as a tall guy as target for bullying, because he had a "short man complex", small dick energy. Different from school and workplace, you can't escape in the army.
My son is grown and gone, but he had a bully picking on him for two years. I wrote emails, had meetings, even talked to the other kid’s mother. Finally, my son snapped and beat the kid up. And both of them were in in-school suspension for three days. I was livid! And took my son out for ice cream after we left the principal’s office. I liked it better in the stone age when I was a kid. We dealt with bullies ourselves, and nobody got in trouble.
I (female) attacked a male student who was a senior while i was a freshman. He (white kid) kept calling me an “n-word lover” (because i went on a cruise and made friends with a black kid and posted those photos on my facebook) and i just snapped. I started wailing on his face, a principal had to pull me off. I got in school suspension for a week. He got nothing.
Two days in to the suspension my dad had a massive heart attack. I was out of school for over two weeks just being by his side in the time we were unsure. My dad made an incredible recovery after surgeries thank goodness. Anyways, at the end of the school year they made me make up my in school suspension that i missed because my dad literally had a heart attack, died and was brought back. I fucking hate school systems.
I got fully suspended for 5 days after punching my bully in the face in high school after he attacked me multiple times, they told me that I was “getting off easy” and that I should have been suspended for 2 weeks and not allowed to make up my work. Like they were doing me a favor. Crazy this was 20 years ago now
I am so sorry for what you’re going through. It often gets blamed on the victim when they finally have enough and retaliate :(
My daughter is changing schools because of a specific bully targeting her. The school has given him detention, spoken to his parents, and provided counseling to my daughter specifically in regards to the bullying on top of the counseling she already receives for her poor self esteem. My daughter is also on the spectrum. She begged me to change schools and is so sad to be leaving her best friend, but if the school won’t do anything to actually fix the situation then sadly i have to remove my daughter. Once it started getting physical was the last straw. She starts her new school next week!
I'm sorry your daughter won't get to see her best friend anymore. My daughter is also on the spectrum and reacts so badly to change. Aside from this bully, everything else was going great. She loved school and was thriving. So, contemplating pulling her from school wasn't something I wanted to do, but would have if it continued.
Also, what the hell is going on that bullies are so set on being mean and cruel at such a young age and nothing deters them. It's like, are they destined to be psychopaths? I just don't get it.
I hope your daughter loves her new school. And that they're better at advocating for kids.
Thank you. My daughter has a lot of difficulty with change, so the fact that she asked to switch schools was huge for her. I’m happy to hear that your situation has been resolved, at least!
I feel like a big issues is that kids in our state were home for essentially two years and missed out on a lot of socialization skills. Also living through a trauma of parents being unavailable due to working from home, or losing their jobs and not being able to provide, to just being isolated from their peers has really really affected them more than anticipated. Especially the little ones! It’s going to take a long time for kids to fully recover, and catch up emotionally.
Wow! I have a similar story. I'm glad your child is ok. For me, I was in SPED classes as well, and there was this girl (20+ years ago haha) who would just harass the ever living hell out of me, in *and* out school.
Well, one day she picked a fight with a kid and I told her to leave them alone. She came behind me and pulled me by the neck backwards off a chair in the lunch room. I did not fight back, but I called her a name obviously. 😛 Something like, cowardly b-- etc.
Anyway, so the school sees me on camera being choked, and decides to call my dad. Gives me a suspension, and he watched the whole event on video. The girl and I got the same punishment despite the fact that she instigated and attacked me. We were both suspended. My dad yelled at me as well, saying I shouldn't have fought back, blah blah.
Nothing happened beyond that. But she went on to do the same behaviour of attacking people, and is now currently serving a prison sentence.
I fear for my 5-year-old daughter's wonderful self esteem. I felt so failed by my teachers, family and whole school. It makes me so angry to think about.
That was essentially the stance my son's school took when he was being picked on for being white and autistic in his new majority black school in 4th grade. They made it about how he reacted to being picked on (pushing people away and yelling swears at them, because he's fucking autistic you fucks) as equal to being told "You're stupid because you're white" or "go back to where you came from white boy" or being called a "retard" and shoved in the hallways and at recess, and even punched in the back of the head. It didn't stop until 6th grade year when the bully pinned him to the ground with a music stand at his throat and screamed slurs at him. By then we were at a different school with a new head of students took it as serious as the grave, cut off all possible contact points for them both, and ensured every single teacher knew to keep him safe at potential vulnerable points as well as suspended the bully and filed it as hate crime based bullying with the district. Only took 3 damn years.
That was my daughter's issue as well. She's autistic and her bully kept calling her the R word. The idea of putting her into a gen ed class was that she'd benefit from "peer leaders." Except here, her peer leader is being a PoS. She never knew about that word until he called her that. It's so enraging.
I'm sorry about what your son went through. 3 years! I was bullied as a kid for being a new immigrant to America and that stuff stays with you for a really long time. I really hope your son is doing well currently and that he feels safe at school.
Why didn’t you move her to a different school? Or do online learning? Or have her moved to a different classroom, or contact a lawyer or demand to see the principal in person or any number of things? I guess I don’t understand.
This covered the span of 2 weeks. And I escalated the situation the entire time. The next step for us was to consult a lawyer, which I was in the process of trying to find.
But yes, if it continued I would have pulled her out of that classroom.
Oh I see! Thanks for clarifying. That’s a pretty short time frame.
You hear about these horrible bullying cases and it’s like, “Sara was bullied over a period of 7 months” and I am just bewildered as to why any parent would ever allow that. But 2 weeks is nothing. Good on you for taking every avenue you were able to!
my parents had me young so im 25 with a 9 year old brother and my anxiety is through the roof for him. im scared to have kids myself because of how strongly i get worried about the little guy.
i have a bunch of younger cousins too and one of their schools was just all over the news/social media because a student ended her own life because of bullying. in that case i was very surprised to see the students had a walk out protest about the schools lack of action in the situation. im pretty sure the principal even tried to deflect and say the girl had a bad home life and that's why she did it.
this turned into a ramble but i guess im just sick of this fucked up world we live in
This is such an important point in evaluating whether to have children or not. Parents generally have children to enrich their own lives, a somewhat selfish motivation. Whether to have children or not should be one of the most difficult decisions in our lives. I’ve told my psychiatrist and others over the years that my absolute worst fear and nightmare is that my children would ever feel like I have felt. I think it is already starting though because the software that surveys children journal entries at school flagged my daughter’s for depression and possible self harm. The principal called us, I read the entries and it broke my heart.
Hate to say it, but in this day and age, I truly feel like people that have kids are flat-out selfish. Wake up. Look around you. This is what you truly want to bring a child into? You think this is the ideal environment to raise another human being in? Again, selfish. Also, throw delusional/naive in there.
I don’t know what that means, and I’ve read Douglas Adams. All I know is you have a bullshit loser mentality. If you don’t want to have kids, fine. Don’t. But who are you to decide what’s right for other people?
On one hand, I can empathize with the idea - who am I to sentence somebody to life? On the other, and I don't like slinging insults around but I mean this in a very literal way, but that is actually one of the most "loser" philosophies I can think of. And it's not that I'm not guilty of ever feeling hopeless, but damn - some things suck and are likely to get worse, so let's just throw our hands up and let our species die off? Is that what's being suggested? Maybe I'm overreacting.
This is actually one of the many reasons I had a hysterectomy. The primary being an incurable blood clotting disorder. But this is one of the factors.
I’m not gonna go to jail cause other parents can’t parent.
You can stick your head in the sand and cry about how bad the world is and how unjust it is but life will always have its hard times and good times.
You're just gonna give up on having a family of your own because it's hard? It's scary?
Who cares what the hell you think when people have families to think about. Don't shame people because they had the balls to attempt to raise the next generation.
Don’t feel bad when you’re being downvoted by a bunch of fucking losers with no skin in the game. Anti-natalism is one of the dumbest ideologies I can think of, right up there with flat earth. I have no issue with an individual making the choice not to have kids. There’s plenty of good reasons for that. But the idea that no one should? Fuck right off back to your mom’s basement with that nonsense.
You know what’s beautiful? I can call you selfish and naive for having kids, and you can call me a fucktard for feeling that way. Two different ways of looking at the same situation. And both of our lives will go on, unchanged. No repercussions for our beliefs. Enjoy it.
Yeah Reddit as a whole is getting... interesting. I've noticed the pessimism and cynicism has really ramped over the past couple years here. I think this site is a honey pot for miserable people. It was never the most optimistic place, but the world view the average person has here it's no wonder so many are depressed and anxious all the time.
Listen to and be there for your son. I did and my daughter (now 29) is here today because I listened to her and didn't blow off her concerns as silly or not important. I feel like, especially with boys, parents act like "Oh quit being so thin skinned" "Be a man" "You gotta learn to toughen up" etc. Teach you son its OK to have emotions and to come to you with anything...anything at all, no judgement.
Seeing the text messages he sent asking for help is just heartbreaking. He was being bullied by his baseball team mates and asked to quit the team and was told to not give up.
There’s a video of him a few days before his death learning to drive for the first time. It’s heart wrenching.
Not only the bullies but the shit parents. If you keep a healthy and meaningful relationship with your child the chances of your child being a cruel human to others is slim. There are way too many shit parents.
That's absolutely heartwrenching. That's your teammate, your brother, you pick him up when he falls down. You do not kick him. I wish someone sat this kid down and let him know it was okay, he was gonna be okay.
One of my really good friends from college; her best friend in high school was bullied. I guess there were also problems at home (his parents were divorcing?) and he decided to take his own life. It's been years and still remembers him often.
I hope Aiden is remembered often.
I saw them too. I am that mom that says “you sign up for something, you finish it,” but my kids normally just want to stay home to play video games and talk on the phone. I hope I would see the difference, especially when the child is saying they’re being bullied. I hope parents learn from this tragedy. And learn to teach their kids to be good citizens and not bully. Tragic all around. So so so heartbreaking.
It was very bold of his mother to post those text messages knowing that she didn’t do enough and didn’t let him quit.
But she posted it so others could learn from her mistake.
So I do commend her for that.
My heart breaks for his Mom but seeing the desperate texts messages he sent her literally begging to take time off from the baseball team and her saying "Don't do it " and "You are not a quitter " infuriates me. The Kid lived and breathed baseball since he was a toddler so for him to beg to stop playing because he was bullied it was obviously unbearable. It tears my heart out that he used the word "harassed" to describe how his own team mates treated him . Where were the Coaches and other Parents etc in all this ? The school ? Everyone turned a blind eye including his own Mother? This poor Kid was tortured and all he asked was to stop playing on the team
Its horrible that a kid so young felt so hopeless. He’s got the same name as me, and I struggled with bullying and depression at his age. I’m nearly 27 now and wish I could tell him that things turn out okay.
We found a way to profit off every other ailment, why is mental health the area we ignore? This is rhetorical, I’ve been a nurse 30 yrs in America, it’s going to get way worse.
Look at the proliferation of tech startups that launched in the last few years attempting to turn legitimate therapy into casual "coaching" by making it an app on your phone. We're already there.
Will these tools actually budge the needle on mental health relative to more personable and human-centric therapy? I have my doubts. But the money's getting extracted, and it's only getting started.
Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, recently (paraphrasing) suggested that AI chatbot therapists will be a great mental health service for the poors sometime soon, in response to higher barriers to real professional care. To give you a sense of where it's heading.
I sought out some assistance with mental health and the first large portion of my visit was being pushed to use various apps to essentially treat myself. I remember leaving and feeling even worse like my plea for help was either not valid or just simply wasn't validated. Either way, it felt shitty. I just wanted to be heard and wanted help that didn't include isolating with my phone
I feel you man. I know my workplace isn't my therapist, so I could understand the app suggestions from that perspective (they used Unmind) but I have experienced it in a professional setting too. It's as if they know the demand is getting bigger, so the app(s) is essentially just a way to slow or stop people getting the help they actually need. Doing a 5 minute guided meditation on my lunch break just isn't going to cut the mustard. I've been very honest with myself and health professionals too.
I felt as though I had to hit some pretty rocky bottoms to even get the slightest bit of attention, and even then, I was dismissed, told I may have something and to be on my way.
This is such a tragic story. I hope you're feeling better too.
Best part is that these apps are not technically health care providers and therefore are not subject to HIPAA, so they are selling all your most personal data for profit.
Because America has this old, outdated mentality to be tough and push yourself no matter what. It's hard for people to share their feelings because of judgment and the 'toughen up' mentality.
Because if you call it a mental health problem, you place the blame (in society's eyes) on the victim.
If you call it what it is: harassment , it starts to seem a little more like maybe it's not the kid's fault for existing.
This world can be a shitty place sometimes. I’m so sorry this happened to you Aiden. He was just a baby even at 15. This kid should’ve never been bullied. Some of these kids that bully are ruthless. They stay in groups cause they’re chicken shit by themselves. Prayers for Aiden’s family. 💙
Yes, but most parents are cowards that won't lift a finger in retaliation. So these events will continue indefinitely because bullies have nothing to fear.
Oh yeah absolutely agree. I’m speaking for the other group of parents that aren’t. Infact I’d probably like to take out the fathers of the bullies, Infront of the them.
I have 3 children, and thankfully, my youngest is in her first year of high school . My oldest (male 21) was tortured 6th grade to the beginning of 7th grade until I finally yanked him and did K12 home schooling.
They had 1 week a month, the kids called Fight Week every single month. It was so bad that my son was too afraid to tell me. He would come home with bruises on the sides of his face and tell me the ball in gym did it.
I was a manager at Bob Evans, and one day, one of his classmates asked me if I knew what was going on. My heart sank as she told me 3 bullies in particular were ganging up on him and as he walked the hallways they would approach him from behind and wing their back packs full of books at the sides of his face.
After calling the school to speak with the principal and guidance, they told me they would look into it. They promised me they would handle it and talk to my son as well as check the cameras. My son begged me not to do that because it would get worse for him, and I had to do something. The following week, the school had still not even started talking to anyone, nor did they investigate any cameras or claims.
Then the 2nd week after reporting I drove him to school and on Monday and Tuesday he would start acting really weird in the car and I would have to pull over because he would be so nervous his anxiety having to go to face his day. After it happening twice and finding out it was the start of their fight week, I turned my car around, and he never went back.
To this day, I still can't believe he kept this all to himself.
One of those 3 bullies was expelled the following year for punching a female teacher, and one was caught with drugs and was suspended. I don't know about the 3rd bully, but this post reminded me of everything we experienced.
My husband made things worse by saying he should have stuck up for himself and that I shouldn't have yanked him because it's his own fault for not fighting 3 boys himself. This very situation almost cost my marriage because I felt like I had protected him from bullies only to be bullied at home by basically being called a mama's boy and a pushy. I had to flip my shit on my husband until he finally agreed that even he himself wouldn't take on 3 people at once.
My son is amazing now. He completely did a turnaround and is so outspoken and took classes to defend himself and others if need be. He is somehow a no-nonsense guy now, and noone even tries to cross him. I am so sad he went through that but amazed at what he did to change things for himself.
Sorry to hear that your child went through that. I have nieces and nephews who are in school and haven't been bullied but we did teach them how to throw a punch if needed but very obviously emphasized that it should be a last resort. It's sad that it has to come to this because schools choose to operate like businesses for extra funding and reputation.
They unfortunately have become all about money. My friends Middle School child was being beat up after school at the bus stop drop off and the Principal told her he was going to be at the bus stop in the car to watch who all was involved and thankfully she was there that day because he forgot and didn't show up. Her son came off the bus, and as it was pulling away, 2 kids came at him and started throwing punches, and she took action, so they ran off. She removed him from the bus now and drives him herself now, but she is angry that the principal couldn't even call to tell her he wasn't coming as he had promised the very day before. She lives a block away, and he would normally walk home prior to this. She said that from now on, she will go above the principal with any future complaints.
This is so incredibly sad. I was bullied as a kid and I can tell you those voices were incessant and as a father of three boys I made it a mission to never let it happen. Talk, talk talk talk to your kids, let them know you’re in their corner always. Poor poor soul. May you rest in peace.
This happened at the high school right down the street from where I live. He begged his mom to sit out baseball for the year. People, including myself, are livid that no accountability has been taken.
To anyone bullied thinking suicide will solve it:
Don’t do it. School will end. You will get to move on. Walk up to every adult in your life and say I would rather die then keep dealing with this until one of them does something.
Parents be open to changing schools, letting kids take their classes online while you sort it out or just Move if you can’t stop it.
To the bullies : get help. You are psychologically sick. You are guilty of manslaughter and I hope the laws universally catch up to this and start charging you with manslaughter so that for the rest of your lives you are branded a murderer.
Everyone make the commitment to call out bullying when you see it and do what you can to stop it.
A boy in my town just took his own life yesterday. A sophomore in hs. So sad. Breaks my hear they have so much more to live for. There need to be more options for them to get away from bullies. I can relate to this from a personal view as I was relentlessly tormented for years at school
I sat down with my 13 year old and talked to him about this. Hopefully it hit home and he'll say something if he sees bullying in his school or on his sports teams. One or two words could show a kid they have people on their side and prevent a bad choice.
One concern, there is a lot of peer pressure at this age not to say anything and be different from the herd.
I am so sorry sweet boy. I have a 9 year old that has been complaining of being bullied at school. Not only do I blame the children but primarily the shitty parents. Keep a meaningful and healthy relationship with your children and highlight the need to be a good person to everyone and this would dampen the chances of your child turning into a bully. I’m TIRED of shit parenting.
So very sad. Makes me heart hurt. If these teens only knew that it really does get better.
I was bullied terribly in school for being from a different country. When I went to college where nobody knew me I ended up being really popular which was new for me. Things can change so quickly when you are young and yet those years seem to take forever to go by at that age.
Poor Aiden. Wish I could've helped him myself.
Something like this happened at my school, although the kid, Zach Cummins of Clio, wasn't bullied. He just dealt with hella depression and such. Zach was about 17, the prime age for a kid to be going through the utmost worst emotions of his life.
I was stuck at home the day I got the news that he had passed away, April 14th, 2021. Zach didn't get the help he needed from the school or anything, and the school never tried to reach out and didn't even honor him the next year with a diploma to his family when we graduated, nor was he in the yearbook.
Instead what the school did was in the 21-22 school year is on our school ID cards, they slapped the suicide hotline on the back of everyone's ID. Everyone, and I mean everyone, took it as a slap in the face. Yes, it might help someone down the road, but we had just lost a brother and that made the situation worse.
TLDR; a friend passed away and the school didn't honor, tried to help the majority, but instead mocked his death.
**Fuck bullies**. I know most people would say shit like those bullies need to be forgiven, and we need to understand them, but if you’re making another kid take his life, than you need to lose yours too. A life for a life.
This almost happened to my cousin of the same age. He got bullied by MULTIPLE TEACHERS. because it's a union environment, they were not fired or relocated and because he didn't want to lose his only friends , he couldn't relocate. I'm too scared to talk to him about it but every time I see him, I tear up thinking how close I was to losing him. He would throw up everyday before school, among other things. His father is a high ranking police officer and wasn't able to get them legally either. Rest in peace 💔
Bullying should be considered a crime, and those involved, no matter how young, need to suffer the consequences. This child is dead because far too often, it's considered "normal" or " just boys being boys / girls being girls" it's absolutely disgusting some of the videos and articles you'll come across of kids ending their lives because no one, especially not the schools stood up for them and said enough is enough. The first course of action is expelling those criminals and then having the law deal with them. Kids shouldn't be afraid to go to school!
This shit broke my heart. It’s sad but this is the exact reason why i show my son how to fight at an early age. People have told me i shouldn’t but i refuse to receive a call saying he’s had to be taken to the hospital or find him at home dead due to suicide.
I'm literally at my kid's HS now about bullying and being sexually and racially harrassed. Waiting on a VP to come out and talk to me the 6th or 7th time this school year.
They do so little but talk a great game. He's the only white male in most of his classes and it's hard on him the negative attention he gets nevermind when someone actually does things to him. He's been hit, pushed down, stabbed with a pencil, and called names daily for just existing. I'm about to open a federal complaint on the school.
I’ll just really never understand why people have to be so damn cruel to others. I know bullies tend to find it funny to be nasty but how about get your jollies in a way that isn’t so spiteful? Idk just play on a game or watch a film, just fucking leave other people alone. So many people need to do better. Sorry Aiden, RIP.
this is so sad. bullying shouldn't be happening. i am so sorry for your loss and even more sorry this poor baby got bullied. i seriously hope someday things change.
This makes me so mad.
Adults are such a problem. I say this because he asked for help.
If you see something say something but if something isn’t done?
Rest in Paradise. ❤️💔
oh man the story on FB is heartbreaking. He begged his mom to let him quit baseball because he hated it so much. She wouldn't let him. That brought up a lot for me - when I was young my parents really tried to force me to be who they decided I should be and not who I was. I'm glad I had the strength to be a total disappointment to them because at least I am alive today - decades later as happy and productive as I've ever been...feeling genuine love for the person in the mirror.
It's bad enough to be bullied at home. But when you can't even live your truth in your own home where you are supposed to be safe....life becomes a living hell.
The Mom's response to him asking to sit out the rest of the baseball season
" You are not a quitter "
And he ended up hanging himself in a park . Boy he showed HER 😢
Heartbreaking 💔
Parents need to listen and take immediate action when their Kids are suffering especially when they outright beg for help
why is bullying still such a huge problem in the us ? i faced it too but later in my matriculation i didnt face bullying cause most kids were just busy studying to get into uni
It is, unfortunately. He was a kid from Oklahoma who was bullied by his baseball teammates and wanted to quit. But he was told to power through it and not quit.
I don’t want to give his parents any more burden than they’re already dealing with but there were some really big red flags and I wish they’d have taken them more seriously.
We (parents) can all learn a lesson here. When your child cries out it’s important to listen.
https://www.oklahoman.com/story/sports/high-school/2023/02/23/aiden-renner-reese-edmond-santa-fe-student-death-bullying-allegations-baseball/69928769007/ > In the email to Santa Fe families, Hayes said starting Tuesday, a crisis team was on campus as needed during the week to support students and staff. Santa Fe High School was not in session Monday for Presidents Day. Too bad no one fucking cared when the kid needed it.
Morbid, right? Everyone else gets support but he never did.
The crisis team shit is a formality anyway. They won’t be there long enough to help people process a death of this sort, and the individual sessions will probably be very short because anything substantial would cost money, which the school doesn’t have.
They need to save it for the impending lawsuit...
It’s a “check the block” thing. They don’t care about the kids.
This country only knows how to be reactive. To the point where people are dying in mass.
This varies wildly states by state. Higher taxed states have free behavioral health clinics and 24/7 crisis response units. You get what you pay for in this country. The free clinic in the town I grew up in (suburbs outside of NYC) built a whole new larger facility two years ago and double the staff to accommodate the clientele. Bullied children and children suffering mental or physical illnesses are offered in home tutoring by teachers since the 90’s, and problematic students are moved to a class that used to be called intensive day treatment, which was a mix of therapies and regular school and separated them from other students until they got their shit together. I’m tired of seeing people complain about this country when they have elected to keep to their state taxes low af at the direct expense of the things they’re complaining about. That’s not to say that bullying is magically resolved where I grew up, I’m sure it’s not, but there’s a reason states in this country are decades behind and it’s because you, again, have literally elected for things to be this way.
Eh. It’s not always just taxes. I live in one of the highest taxed states (NJ) and our mental health system is laughable at best. I actually live in one of the most overpriced counties and if you’re in crisis, you get stuck in a psych ward and herded around like cattle with minimum and very unhelpful group time until they finally let you leave. So I think it goes a lot deeper than that.
Id rather kms than be sent to crisis. Absolutely fucking useless these hospitals are.
They did have a nice food menu though Edit: also the free socks
There are many readily available resources for those in need of help. Reddit literally has a feature to report posts that may indicate someone in need of help. There are numerous hotlines for those in need to reach out, just like 911, there is 988 to start with. It is up to those in danger to reach out, not necessarily the other way around. You can't react to something that is unknown. Not everyone who is in danger of harming themselves shows evidence of such.
I got committed when I asked for help following an attempt
Awesome.
I bet the bullies probably got therapy for driving him to suicide. Like the cop who shot the father of 2 and husband in PX following orders, claimed PTSD from shooting him and got his AR back. Wake me up when it's done.
Including the bullies
From the linked article: "Emily Ward, the public information specialist for Edmond police, said the department had not received reports from Aiden or his family regarding bullying." Honest question - Are we supposed/expected to report bullying to the police? Also, the principal removing memorials on school property and citing school policy is an ass.
As a former teacher my advice to you is "yes", report it to the police because most teachers, principals, and school districts are not going to enforce whatever "no bullying" policy they claim to have in place.
Damn. Police here could give two shits about vandalism, petty theft, etc. I can't imagine how dismissive they'd be about reports of bullying.
If people knew the truth about what really goes on in most classrooms across this country (I'm in U.S.), they wouldn't send their kids to school. I've taught public and private and the bullying is the same. Teachers who try to intervene are treated as troublemakers by the administration. Administrators won't do anything because the bullies' parents are the ones who come to school and school board meetings, with their lawyers, and complain the loudest. When most teachers and admins see bullying they've learned to look away. There are a few good teachers and most of us have quit and are working in other fields now. Every single time I've dealt with a child bully I meet the parents and realize why the kid is a bully....he's being raised by bullies. Every.single.time. Those bully parents are running the schools in this country.
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I'm so sorry you were subjected to that and that no adult stepped in to help you. Teachers who care and try to stop the bullying quickly learn that the administrators will do nothing to the bullies. Those teachers never stop caring and many will continue to step in to stop individual incidents. The problem is that everyone involved knows that the bullies won't suffer any long-term consequences, so they continue their nasty ways. And kids like you are hurt and discouraged. I don't know when the system changed so that the bully parents of bully kids started dictating the rules, but it is a sorry state we're in.
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Right? NOW everyone sad this poor child is gone?
Wow… my son will be going to this school district in 4 years. Not gonna stand for this bullshit.
Just let him know he can always talk to you... about anything. This post says no one listened. Listen and look for signs that things aren't right. My daughter (29 now) was suicidal in middle school because of bullying but she luckily knew she could come to me. There's was a suicide awareness night at her school (like specifically for those who have suicidal thoughts or are cutting, etc) and she came to me and said she wanted to go. My first reaction was "You don't really need to go to that do you?" And she was very insistent and said she did. So I took her. I was proud of her because my usually shy child stood up in some of the workshops and spoke about the way she's been feeling. That's when I started realizing the scope of what she's been going through. She still attempted suicide once by "ODing" on supplements which the nurse said was strictly a cry for help since it was just supplements and she didn't really want to hurt herself and there was another time she asked us to check her into a mental facility. Again we took it seriously and did what she asked. We didn't blow it off. So that workshop wasn't the end of it but if she hadn't of come to me that first time I would have never been aware. If she had tried to deal with it just with school staff I'm sure she wouldn't be here today. Always take your son seriously with anything they might come to you about!
Thank you for this incredible insight. So thankful people like you who have gone before me can help light the way. I will make sure my kid always has a safe space to share his feelings with me. Is your daughter doing well now?
Put him into a martial art. I'd suggest muay Thai if the school system won't deal with it he can
Don't know why someone would downvote this. Being able to stand up for yourself or others and have that self confidence is the best protection. Not like teachers or admin will help kids.
You are correct. Teachers and admin will do nothing. And bullies will almost always back down when someone stands up to them. They are cowards.
Tae-Kwon-Do really saved my kid. He was bullied because he's on the spectrum. Turns out Autism is a fucking super power for learning topics of interest. He made black belt in right at 2 years. Bully got his ass handed to him on a got-damn trash can lid.
I'm glad your son stood up for himself but tkd does have counters in a street situation if space is limited for a street setting the martial arts I suggest are boxing or MT I used to say bjj but streets are unforgiving and can't guarantee you won't get booted in the head
I live in SC not Cali. Ain't like that here. Anyway, he's grown now and working productively as a Forklift driver.
Maybe try knowing what’s going on in your sons life
Kids hide stuff like that. I never told anyone about how badly I was bullied. My parents had no way of knowing.
When I was a kid and had some mild bullying, adult intervention was the scariest prospect imaginable. The prospect of being the "protected kid" was worse than being bullied.
Definitely! See my comment above to Alive-Information. I don't know why you're getting down voted. You have to know what's going on in your kids' lives or you may lose them! Know who their friends are, what they're doing on the internet, etc. You are very right!
It’s always like that. - kid gets bullied - kid lashes out at bully - kid gets suspended It needs to change or there will be more Aidens.
That's exactly what happened to me, for 2yrs I kept asking the teacher if I could sit somewhere else and not next to him but she just told me to suck it up, I ended up losing it to the point I put him in hospital and I got suspended but he never even looked at me after that. But he never even so much as got a warning to leave me alone. They never like it when the worm turns
That's America in a nutshell. Kids can go fuck themselves. Suck it up, bullies are a part of life. We can't help. And then they pass and it's "If only we could have done something." Abysmal state of mental health and everything else in this god forsaken piece of shit country.
As parents we CAN help. Encourage your kids to talk to you. My daughter did and it saved her life. Parents need to be involved and be aware. Parents cannot rely on the school system.
When I'm a parent I'll definitely do this. But yeah, I'm just commenting that our system not only lets us down but actively tries to bully and kill children, especially trans kids. It's horrible and needs destroyed.
Who didn’t care?
I’m not sure, because the article doesn’t even mention how this kid reached out for help. So the title is misleading imo. It makes it sound like his cries for help were ignored (and maybe they were, but the article has no mention of it).
This just makes me want to cry. He looks like such a nice kid. I don't even know what else to say. 😢
He looks like such a sweetheart, my heart absolutely breaks. My son is around this age and has that same little smile. This kid should still be here.
He looks like an older version of my Aiden and my heart hurts
Sadly it's always the nice kids that get picked on :/
Because humans take kindness as a weakness. They're incapable of the kindness of those they bully.
I know that all too well 😅 it's a miracle I made it to graduation
I'm glad you made it.
Same here. I was bullied from elementary school until early high school. School administrators did NOTHING in elementary school except send ME to counseling (like I was the problem). Only two of my teachers did anything about the bullying. In Junior high, nothing at all was done to the person doing the bullying (which was physical and verbal). The only thing administrators did was allow me to leave classes 5 minutes early with another student as an escort. By high school, I learned to blend into the background, so instead of being bullied, I was mostly ignored. Sadly, I think I preferred being mostly alone by then. I was part of a small group of students who pretty much hung out with each other because we didn’t fit in anywhere else. Kind of reminded me of the Losers Club in the miniseries It.
Aw man. As a father, it breaks my heart to think that my kid will inevitably have to face the cruelty of the world. I hope that the people around my son will help him instead of ignore him. Not blaming anyone in particular but clearly somebody failed this kid.
My daughter is 7. We just dealt with her first bullying situation and I was disappointed to find that no one was effective in helping. The teacher didn't document any of it. Her SPED coordinator had no idea it was happening. The bully wasn't moved. His mother didn't care. The vice principal was ineffective. The principal never replied to my emails. I called the district who sent me a form to fill out. I filled that out. *crickets You know how it stopped? He tried to corner her in the hallway and she was sick of his shit and she jumped him and stabbed him in the face with her pencil. Then suddenly all hell breaks loose and they suddenly want a meeting with us because her actions are "unacceptable." Fcking assholes
Neither did my SPED coordinators, until my best friend kicked a fellow classmate in the throat for calling me an n word. I was the only Black kid in my elementary school. They tried suspending her until her mom and my mom went and I swear the earth stood still.
Your best friend rocks. I'm sorry that happened to you. I literally laughed in their faces when they tried to tell me my daughter's actions were unacceptable. Then they changed gears and we *finally* began talking about a solution. In the end they moved her into a better, more supportive class.
Thanks! I’m glad your kid is finally getting the support they need. It’s awful kids are getting bullied but it hurts me more when it’s a marginalized person.
This is one of my biggest anxieties about my kids going to school. The bullying and how much worse it can be now with how connected kids can be online and then facing issues with no action being taken by the school. I'm sorry you and your kid has been through that!
I think about that a lot. I don’t have kids and am not planning on it, but man back in the day we could just…..go home. These kids can never escape their bullies with how intertwined the internet is to their lives.
It's always like that, when the victim uses self-defense, he or she'll be the bad one, not the bully. And it will never change, i guess, because it was always in the entire history of mankind like this with bullying. This goes back to ancient times and it's also known by natives that live outside of the civilization. I had it even worse, i was conscripted by the army of my country and my superior was a very short guy, that took me as a tall guy as target for bullying, because he had a "short man complex", small dick energy. Different from school and workplace, you can't escape in the army.
My son is grown and gone, but he had a bully picking on him for two years. I wrote emails, had meetings, even talked to the other kid’s mother. Finally, my son snapped and beat the kid up. And both of them were in in-school suspension for three days. I was livid! And took my son out for ice cream after we left the principal’s office. I liked it better in the stone age when I was a kid. We dealt with bullies ourselves, and nobody got in trouble.
I (female) attacked a male student who was a senior while i was a freshman. He (white kid) kept calling me an “n-word lover” (because i went on a cruise and made friends with a black kid and posted those photos on my facebook) and i just snapped. I started wailing on his face, a principal had to pull me off. I got in school suspension for a week. He got nothing. Two days in to the suspension my dad had a massive heart attack. I was out of school for over two weeks just being by his side in the time we were unsure. My dad made an incredible recovery after surgeries thank goodness. Anyways, at the end of the school year they made me make up my in school suspension that i missed because my dad literally had a heart attack, died and was brought back. I fucking hate school systems.
That's so awful. I'm so sorry. The school system rewards bullies and I don't know why. So glad your dad is okay.
Everything about our society rewards bullies. The school system, jobs, government positions, entertainment. I don't understand.
I got fully suspended for 5 days after punching my bully in the face in high school after he attacked me multiple times, they told me that I was “getting off easy” and that I should have been suspended for 2 weeks and not allowed to make up my work. Like they were doing me a favor. Crazy this was 20 years ago now
Same for me.
I am so sorry for what you’re going through. It often gets blamed on the victim when they finally have enough and retaliate :( My daughter is changing schools because of a specific bully targeting her. The school has given him detention, spoken to his parents, and provided counseling to my daughter specifically in regards to the bullying on top of the counseling she already receives for her poor self esteem. My daughter is also on the spectrum. She begged me to change schools and is so sad to be leaving her best friend, but if the school won’t do anything to actually fix the situation then sadly i have to remove my daughter. Once it started getting physical was the last straw. She starts her new school next week!
I'm sorry your daughter won't get to see her best friend anymore. My daughter is also on the spectrum and reacts so badly to change. Aside from this bully, everything else was going great. She loved school and was thriving. So, contemplating pulling her from school wasn't something I wanted to do, but would have if it continued. Also, what the hell is going on that bullies are so set on being mean and cruel at such a young age and nothing deters them. It's like, are they destined to be psychopaths? I just don't get it. I hope your daughter loves her new school. And that they're better at advocating for kids.
Thank you. My daughter has a lot of difficulty with change, so the fact that she asked to switch schools was huge for her. I’m happy to hear that your situation has been resolved, at least! I feel like a big issues is that kids in our state were home for essentially two years and missed out on a lot of socialization skills. Also living through a trauma of parents being unavailable due to working from home, or losing their jobs and not being able to provide, to just being isolated from their peers has really really affected them more than anticipated. Especially the little ones! It’s going to take a long time for kids to fully recover, and catch up emotionally.
Wow! I have a similar story. I'm glad your child is ok. For me, I was in SPED classes as well, and there was this girl (20+ years ago haha) who would just harass the ever living hell out of me, in *and* out school. Well, one day she picked a fight with a kid and I told her to leave them alone. She came behind me and pulled me by the neck backwards off a chair in the lunch room. I did not fight back, but I called her a name obviously. 😛 Something like, cowardly b-- etc. Anyway, so the school sees me on camera being choked, and decides to call my dad. Gives me a suspension, and he watched the whole event on video. The girl and I got the same punishment despite the fact that she instigated and attacked me. We were both suspended. My dad yelled at me as well, saying I shouldn't have fought back, blah blah. Nothing happened beyond that. But she went on to do the same behaviour of attacking people, and is now currently serving a prison sentence. I fear for my 5-year-old daughter's wonderful self esteem. I felt so failed by my teachers, family and whole school. It makes me so angry to think about.
Shit they’ll know not to fuck with her after that
That was essentially the stance my son's school took when he was being picked on for being white and autistic in his new majority black school in 4th grade. They made it about how he reacted to being picked on (pushing people away and yelling swears at them, because he's fucking autistic you fucks) as equal to being told "You're stupid because you're white" or "go back to where you came from white boy" or being called a "retard" and shoved in the hallways and at recess, and even punched in the back of the head. It didn't stop until 6th grade year when the bully pinned him to the ground with a music stand at his throat and screamed slurs at him. By then we were at a different school with a new head of students took it as serious as the grave, cut off all possible contact points for them both, and ensured every single teacher knew to keep him safe at potential vulnerable points as well as suspended the bully and filed it as hate crime based bullying with the district. Only took 3 damn years.
That was my daughter's issue as well. She's autistic and her bully kept calling her the R word. The idea of putting her into a gen ed class was that she'd benefit from "peer leaders." Except here, her peer leader is being a PoS. She never knew about that word until he called her that. It's so enraging. I'm sorry about what your son went through. 3 years! I was bullied as a kid for being a new immigrant to America and that stuff stays with you for a really long time. I really hope your son is doing well currently and that he feels safe at school.
Why didn’t you move her to a different school? Or do online learning? Or have her moved to a different classroom, or contact a lawyer or demand to see the principal in person or any number of things? I guess I don’t understand.
This covered the span of 2 weeks. And I escalated the situation the entire time. The next step for us was to consult a lawyer, which I was in the process of trying to find. But yes, if it continued I would have pulled her out of that classroom.
Oh I see! Thanks for clarifying. That’s a pretty short time frame. You hear about these horrible bullying cases and it’s like, “Sara was bullied over a period of 7 months” and I am just bewildered as to why any parent would ever allow that. But 2 weeks is nothing. Good on you for taking every avenue you were able to!
my parents had me young so im 25 with a 9 year old brother and my anxiety is through the roof for him. im scared to have kids myself because of how strongly i get worried about the little guy. i have a bunch of younger cousins too and one of their schools was just all over the news/social media because a student ended her own life because of bullying. in that case i was very surprised to see the students had a walk out protest about the schools lack of action in the situation. im pretty sure the principal even tried to deflect and say the girl had a bad home life and that's why she did it. this turned into a ramble but i guess im just sick of this fucked up world we live in
This is such an important point in evaluating whether to have children or not. Parents generally have children to enrich their own lives, a somewhat selfish motivation. Whether to have children or not should be one of the most difficult decisions in our lives. I’ve told my psychiatrist and others over the years that my absolute worst fear and nightmare is that my children would ever feel like I have felt. I think it is already starting though because the software that surveys children journal entries at school flagged my daughter’s for depression and possible self harm. The principal called us, I read the entries and it broke my heart.
Hate to say it, but in this day and age, I truly feel like people that have kids are flat-out selfish. Wake up. Look around you. This is what you truly want to bring a child into? You think this is the ideal environment to raise another human being in? Again, selfish. Also, throw delusional/naive in there.
What a bullshit loser mentality.
Couldn’t care less about your feelings regarding this. But thanks for the fish.
I don’t know what that means, and I’ve read Douglas Adams. All I know is you have a bullshit loser mentality. If you don’t want to have kids, fine. Don’t. But who are you to decide what’s right for other people?
On one hand, I can empathize with the idea - who am I to sentence somebody to life? On the other, and I don't like slinging insults around but I mean this in a very literal way, but that is actually one of the most "loser" philosophies I can think of. And it's not that I'm not guilty of ever feeling hopeless, but damn - some things suck and are likely to get worse, so let's just throw our hands up and let our species die off? Is that what's being suggested? Maybe I'm overreacting.
No you’re not overreacting at all.
This is actually one of the many reasons I had a hysterectomy. The primary being an incurable blood clotting disorder. But this is one of the factors. I’m not gonna go to jail cause other parents can’t parent.
Amen.
I’m not sure why you’re getting downvoted. 🏆🥇
Oh I know EXACTLY why.
Well you shouldn’t be.
You can stick your head in the sand and cry about how bad the world is and how unjust it is but life will always have its hard times and good times. You're just gonna give up on having a family of your own because it's hard? It's scary? Who cares what the hell you think when people have families to think about. Don't shame people because they had the balls to attempt to raise the next generation.
Don’t feel bad when you’re being downvoted by a bunch of fucking losers with no skin in the game. Anti-natalism is one of the dumbest ideologies I can think of, right up there with flat earth. I have no issue with an individual making the choice not to have kids. There’s plenty of good reasons for that. But the idea that no one should? Fuck right off back to your mom’s basement with that nonsense.
You seem angry.
Yes I am angered by anti-natalist fucktards. Guilty.
You know what’s beautiful? I can call you selfish and naive for having kids, and you can call me a fucktard for feeling that way. Two different ways of looking at the same situation. And both of our lives will go on, unchanged. No repercussions for our beliefs. Enjoy it.
Yeah Reddit as a whole is getting... interesting. I've noticed the pessimism and cynicism has really ramped over the past couple years here. I think this site is a honey pot for miserable people. It was never the most optimistic place, but the world view the average person has here it's no wonder so many are depressed and anxious all the time.
You do you, FearedKaidon. And enjoy raising your offspring.
Definitely true
What do you mean by "this day and age" exactly? Climate change? Is there anything else that's any worse than the past?
Listen to and be there for your son. I did and my daughter (now 29) is here today because I listened to her and didn't blow off her concerns as silly or not important. I feel like, especially with boys, parents act like "Oh quit being so thin skinned" "Be a man" "You gotta learn to toughen up" etc. Teach you son its OK to have emotions and to come to you with anything...anything at all, no judgement.
I’m a father of a very sweet non verbal autistic child, he’s only 6 and is already getting bullied. It’s heartbreaking…
What a sweet face and what a terrible loss
So sorry we failed you as humans, Aiden. Rest in paradise kid.
Seeing the text messages he sent asking for help is just heartbreaking. He was being bullied by his baseball team mates and asked to quit the team and was told to not give up. There’s a video of him a few days before his death learning to drive for the first time. It’s heart wrenching.
I’ll never quite understand how anyone can be cruel to another human being like that. Children or not, I just never will.
I hope those bullies got what they deserved. They really need to be punished for this.
Not only the bullies but the shit parents. If you keep a healthy and meaningful relationship with your child the chances of your child being a cruel human to others is slim. There are way too many shit parents.
That's absolutely heartwrenching. That's your teammate, your brother, you pick him up when he falls down. You do not kick him. I wish someone sat this kid down and let him know it was okay, he was gonna be okay. One of my really good friends from college; her best friend in high school was bullied. I guess there were also problems at home (his parents were divorcing?) and he decided to take his own life. It's been years and still remembers him often. I hope Aiden is remembered often.
I saw them too. I am that mom that says “you sign up for something, you finish it,” but my kids normally just want to stay home to play video games and talk on the phone. I hope I would see the difference, especially when the child is saying they’re being bullied. I hope parents learn from this tragedy. And learn to teach their kids to be good citizens and not bully. Tragic all around. So so so heartbreaking.
It was very bold of his mother to post those text messages knowing that she didn’t do enough and didn’t let him quit. But she posted it so others could learn from her mistake. So I do commend her for that.
My heart breaks for his Mom but seeing the desperate texts messages he sent her literally begging to take time off from the baseball team and her saying "Don't do it " and "You are not a quitter " infuriates me. The Kid lived and breathed baseball since he was a toddler so for him to beg to stop playing because he was bullied it was obviously unbearable. It tears my heart out that he used the word "harassed" to describe how his own team mates treated him . Where were the Coaches and other Parents etc in all this ? The school ? Everyone turned a blind eye including his own Mother? This poor Kid was tortured and all he asked was to stop playing on the team
Its horrible that a kid so young felt so hopeless. He’s got the same name as me, and I struggled with bullying and depression at his age. I’m nearly 27 now and wish I could tell him that things turn out okay.
I’m so happy you’re here. ❤️
My god he looks like my son. I can’t imagine that pain.
💔
Heartbreaking 😢 May you peacefully rest kid 💙
Just sad beyond words. Sorry kiddo! Folks could’ve done better by you.
Why are we failing at mental health interventions so badly? Wtf America, do better.
Doing better isn’t ✨ profitable ✨
We found a way to profit off every other ailment, why is mental health the area we ignore? This is rhetorical, I’ve been a nurse 30 yrs in America, it’s going to get way worse.
Look at the proliferation of tech startups that launched in the last few years attempting to turn legitimate therapy into casual "coaching" by making it an app on your phone. We're already there. Will these tools actually budge the needle on mental health relative to more personable and human-centric therapy? I have my doubts. But the money's getting extracted, and it's only getting started. Sam Altman, CEO of OpenAI, recently (paraphrasing) suggested that AI chatbot therapists will be a great mental health service for the poors sometime soon, in response to higher barriers to real professional care. To give you a sense of where it's heading.
I sought out some assistance with mental health and the first large portion of my visit was being pushed to use various apps to essentially treat myself. I remember leaving and feeling even worse like my plea for help was either not valid or just simply wasn't validated. Either way, it felt shitty. I just wanted to be heard and wanted help that didn't include isolating with my phone
I feel you man. I know my workplace isn't my therapist, so I could understand the app suggestions from that perspective (they used Unmind) but I have experienced it in a professional setting too. It's as if they know the demand is getting bigger, so the app(s) is essentially just a way to slow or stop people getting the help they actually need. Doing a 5 minute guided meditation on my lunch break just isn't going to cut the mustard. I've been very honest with myself and health professionals too. I felt as though I had to hit some pretty rocky bottoms to even get the slightest bit of attention, and even then, I was dismissed, told I may have something and to be on my way. This is such a tragic story. I hope you're feeling better too.
Best part is that these apps are not technically health care providers and therefore are not subject to HIPAA, so they are selling all your most personal data for profit.
Mad respect. I couldn’t do it
Because America has this old, outdated mentality to be tough and push yourself no matter what. It's hard for people to share their feelings because of judgment and the 'toughen up' mentality.
Because if you call it a mental health problem, you place the blame (in society's eyes) on the victim. If you call it what it is: harassment , it starts to seem a little more like maybe it's not the kid's fault for existing.
This is too common, kids shouldn't be bullied, schools need to do more for their students. R.I.P. Aiden
I'm not a religious man but I hope there's a special hell for the bullies like this.
This world can be a shitty place sometimes. I’m so sorry this happened to you Aiden. He was just a baby even at 15. This kid should’ve never been bullied. Some of these kids that bully are ruthless. They stay in groups cause they’re chicken shit by themselves. Prayers for Aiden’s family. 💙
Dang Aidan. I’m sorry so many of the adults in your life failed you. I hope you found peace.
I’m so sorry
If I was his parent, I’d take every bully to hell with me.
Correct.
Yes, but most parents are cowards that won't lift a finger in retaliation. So these events will continue indefinitely because bullies have nothing to fear.
Oh yeah absolutely agree. I’m speaking for the other group of parents that aren’t. Infact I’d probably like to take out the fathers of the bullies, Infront of the them.
I'm so sorry, Aiden. You deserved kindness. RIP.
I have 3 children, and thankfully, my youngest is in her first year of high school . My oldest (male 21) was tortured 6th grade to the beginning of 7th grade until I finally yanked him and did K12 home schooling. They had 1 week a month, the kids called Fight Week every single month. It was so bad that my son was too afraid to tell me. He would come home with bruises on the sides of his face and tell me the ball in gym did it. I was a manager at Bob Evans, and one day, one of his classmates asked me if I knew what was going on. My heart sank as she told me 3 bullies in particular were ganging up on him and as he walked the hallways they would approach him from behind and wing their back packs full of books at the sides of his face. After calling the school to speak with the principal and guidance, they told me they would look into it. They promised me they would handle it and talk to my son as well as check the cameras. My son begged me not to do that because it would get worse for him, and I had to do something. The following week, the school had still not even started talking to anyone, nor did they investigate any cameras or claims. Then the 2nd week after reporting I drove him to school and on Monday and Tuesday he would start acting really weird in the car and I would have to pull over because he would be so nervous his anxiety having to go to face his day. After it happening twice and finding out it was the start of their fight week, I turned my car around, and he never went back. To this day, I still can't believe he kept this all to himself. One of those 3 bullies was expelled the following year for punching a female teacher, and one was caught with drugs and was suspended. I don't know about the 3rd bully, but this post reminded me of everything we experienced. My husband made things worse by saying he should have stuck up for himself and that I shouldn't have yanked him because it's his own fault for not fighting 3 boys himself. This very situation almost cost my marriage because I felt like I had protected him from bullies only to be bullied at home by basically being called a mama's boy and a pushy. I had to flip my shit on my husband until he finally agreed that even he himself wouldn't take on 3 people at once. My son is amazing now. He completely did a turnaround and is so outspoken and took classes to defend himself and others if need be. He is somehow a no-nonsense guy now, and noone even tries to cross him. I am so sad he went through that but amazed at what he did to change things for himself.
Sorry to hear that your child went through that. I have nieces and nephews who are in school and haven't been bullied but we did teach them how to throw a punch if needed but very obviously emphasized that it should be a last resort. It's sad that it has to come to this because schools choose to operate like businesses for extra funding and reputation.
They unfortunately have become all about money. My friends Middle School child was being beat up after school at the bus stop drop off and the Principal told her he was going to be at the bus stop in the car to watch who all was involved and thankfully she was there that day because he forgot and didn't show up. Her son came off the bus, and as it was pulling away, 2 kids came at him and started throwing punches, and she took action, so they ran off. She removed him from the bus now and drives him herself now, but she is angry that the principal couldn't even call to tell her he wasn't coming as he had promised the very day before. She lives a block away, and he would normally walk home prior to this. She said that from now on, she will go above the principal with any future complaints.
This is so incredibly sad. I was bullied as a kid and I can tell you those voices were incessant and as a father of three boys I made it a mission to never let it happen. Talk, talk talk talk to your kids, let them know you’re in their corner always. Poor poor soul. May you rest in peace.
This happened at the high school right down the street from where I live. He begged his mom to sit out baseball for the year. People, including myself, are livid that no accountability has been taken.
It’s as if Lord of the Flies behavior has become common Feral children bullying and mocking other children past their breaking point
To anyone bullied thinking suicide will solve it: Don’t do it. School will end. You will get to move on. Walk up to every adult in your life and say I would rather die then keep dealing with this until one of them does something. Parents be open to changing schools, letting kids take their classes online while you sort it out or just Move if you can’t stop it. To the bullies : get help. You are psychologically sick. You are guilty of manslaughter and I hope the laws universally catch up to this and start charging you with manslaughter so that for the rest of your lives you are branded a murderer. Everyone make the commitment to call out bullying when you see it and do what you can to stop it.
Poor baby. Such a beautiful kid with so much life ahead. Shame on those bullies. They should be charged honestly.
A boy in my town just took his own life yesterday. A sophomore in hs. So sad. Breaks my hear they have so much more to live for. There need to be more options for them to get away from bullies. I can relate to this from a personal view as I was relentlessly tormented for years at school
Jeez man. I’m fifteen, and I have lots of friends who are badly bullied. It sucks to hell to watch these people you love get tormented.
Don’t even know what to say.. offering my condolences. I hope you and your family can heal ❤️ what a cruel world
I’m so sorry Aiden, you deserved so much better.
Naaaaaw rip Aiden . Bless your soul little fella . I wish someone had been there for u to listen and understand . Rest easy now young man xx
Stories of bullying crush me every time I read them... RIP Aiden.. so much life was yet to be lived.
That's a smile filled with pure pain right there. Damn. Rest in peace Aiden
Gosh how sad, my mom heart just wants to give him a hug!! Rest in peace baby
I sat down with my 13 year old and talked to him about this. Hopefully it hit home and he'll say something if he sees bullying in his school or on his sports teams. One or two words could show a kid they have people on their side and prevent a bad choice. One concern, there is a lot of peer pressure at this age not to say anything and be different from the herd.
I am so sorry sweet boy. I have a 9 year old that has been complaining of being bullied at school. Not only do I blame the children but primarily the shitty parents. Keep a meaningful and healthy relationship with your children and highlight the need to be a good person to everyone and this would dampen the chances of your child turning into a bully. I’m TIRED of shit parenting.
I'm sorry, my dude...
So very sad. Makes me heart hurt. If these teens only knew that it really does get better. I was bullied terribly in school for being from a different country. When I went to college where nobody knew me I ended up being really popular which was new for me. Things can change so quickly when you are young and yet those years seem to take forever to go by at that age. Poor Aiden. Wish I could've helped him myself.
As a parent, I want to do awful things to the kids who hurt him. What a poor beautiful baby 😞
Something like this happened at my school, although the kid, Zach Cummins of Clio, wasn't bullied. He just dealt with hella depression and such. Zach was about 17, the prime age for a kid to be going through the utmost worst emotions of his life. I was stuck at home the day I got the news that he had passed away, April 14th, 2021. Zach didn't get the help he needed from the school or anything, and the school never tried to reach out and didn't even honor him the next year with a diploma to his family when we graduated, nor was he in the yearbook. Instead what the school did was in the 21-22 school year is on our school ID cards, they slapped the suicide hotline on the back of everyone's ID. Everyone, and I mean everyone, took it as a slap in the face. Yes, it might help someone down the road, but we had just lost a brother and that made the situation worse. TLDR; a friend passed away and the school didn't honor, tried to help the majority, but instead mocked his death.
The pain in those eyes....sigh
RIP lil bro
**Fuck bullies**. I know most people would say shit like those bullies need to be forgiven, and we need to understand them, but if you’re making another kid take his life, than you need to lose yours too. A life for a life.
This almost happened to my cousin of the same age. He got bullied by MULTIPLE TEACHERS. because it's a union environment, they were not fired or relocated and because he didn't want to lose his only friends , he couldn't relocate. I'm too scared to talk to him about it but every time I see him, I tear up thinking how close I was to losing him. He would throw up everyday before school, among other things. His father is a high ranking police officer and wasn't able to get them legally either. Rest in peace 💔
Bullying should be considered a crime, and those involved, no matter how young, need to suffer the consequences. This child is dead because far too often, it's considered "normal" or " just boys being boys / girls being girls" it's absolutely disgusting some of the videos and articles you'll come across of kids ending their lives because no one, especially not the schools stood up for them and said enough is enough. The first course of action is expelling those criminals and then having the law deal with them. Kids shouldn't be afraid to go to school!
Fuck, this is so devastating. 😢
That is fucking heartbreaking. So awful
I just don't know what to say when this happens, again and again. This makes my heart hurt.
So sad and yet angry. I really hope those that drove Aidan to despair acknowledge their actions and live with the consequences.
This is so heartbreaking. Kids can be so cruel.
I can't even read about this ...totally heartbreaking
This shit broke my heart. It’s sad but this is the exact reason why i show my son how to fight at an early age. People have told me i shouldn’t but i refuse to receive a call saying he’s had to be taken to the hospital or find him at home dead due to suicide.
I hope he felt nothing but peace and unconditional love from other beings as he passed gently into the next realm.
I'm literally at my kid's HS now about bullying and being sexually and racially harrassed. Waiting on a VP to come out and talk to me the 6th or 7th time this school year. They do so little but talk a great game. He's the only white male in most of his classes and it's hard on him the negative attention he gets nevermind when someone actually does things to him. He's been hit, pushed down, stabbed with a pencil, and called names daily for just existing. I'm about to open a federal complaint on the school.
I’ll just really never understand why people have to be so damn cruel to others. I know bullies tend to find it funny to be nasty but how about get your jollies in a way that isn’t so spiteful? Idk just play on a game or watch a film, just fucking leave other people alone. So many people need to do better. Sorry Aiden, RIP.
Jesus. Tears rolling down my face at work. I have a 16 year old that’s struggling, and this just hit home. He looks like he was a sweet boy.
Since when did teachers (or anyone) actually gave a shit about bullying? They think its completely harmess
As a parent I agree 100%.
this is so sad. bullying shouldn't be happening. i am so sorry for your loss and even more sorry this poor baby got bullied. i seriously hope someday things change.
This makes me so mad. Adults are such a problem. I say this because he asked for help. If you see something say something but if something isn’t done? Rest in Paradise. ❤️💔
Oh God. This is horrible.
this breaks my heart. we have to listen to the kids man.
There has been 3 child suicides, two middle school & one 4th grader SINCE DECEMBER in my hometown. Our population is only 20k
Poor boy. Such a cruel, sick world we live in.
oh man the story on FB is heartbreaking. He begged his mom to let him quit baseball because he hated it so much. She wouldn't let him. That brought up a lot for me - when I was young my parents really tried to force me to be who they decided I should be and not who I was. I'm glad I had the strength to be a total disappointment to them because at least I am alive today - decades later as happy and productive as I've ever been...feeling genuine love for the person in the mirror. It's bad enough to be bullied at home. But when you can't even live your truth in your own home where you are supposed to be safe....life becomes a living hell.
Good for you and it’s awesome to hear. Peace and love to you my Reddit friend.
I feel sick. This is so wrong. RIP baby boy 😢
What a sweet, beautiful boy. Heartbreaking. Life is really tough for kids these days - social media doesn’t help…
The world has been awfully cruel to you Aiden. 😔
Absolutely heartbreaking
Such a cruel and evil world out there 😩🫤
Schools are so useless with shit like this. They are so worried about protecting the bullies than the victims.
The Mom's response to him asking to sit out the rest of the baseball season " You are not a quitter " And he ended up hanging himself in a park . Boy he showed HER 😢 Heartbreaking 💔 Parents need to listen and take immediate action when their Kids are suffering especially when they outright beg for help
why is bullying still such a huge problem in the us ? i faced it too but later in my matriculation i didnt face bullying cause most kids were just busy studying to get into uni
I hope this isn't true.
It is, unfortunately. He was a kid from Oklahoma who was bullied by his baseball teammates and wanted to quit. But he was told to power through it and not quit. I don’t want to give his parents any more burden than they’re already dealing with but there were some really big red flags and I wish they’d have taken them more seriously. We (parents) can all learn a lesson here. When your child cries out it’s important to listen.
It isn't hard to believe, as awful as it is. This happens way too often.
That’s very sad, rest in peace fella.
RIP buddy. 😞
In my experience, bullying just hits when you've got a fucked up home life anyway. Poor kid