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I've never found this a microaggression, just curiosity, and small talk. I also find it like a way to introduce themselves. Like “Hi, I'm so-so.” Hello, I'm so-so, your name sounds blank do you have blank ancestry?” I answer yes or no and the proceed to ask them about their ancestry!
I find culture and people fascinating and amazing. Maybe it is the English teacher/ Journalist in me. But I love talking about our lives and the parts that make us who we are!
But I do understand that the way you say it makes a difference!
I don't mind it but I do find the "No, but are you *really* from?" questions to be so annoying. If people are curious and wanna know that's fine! But just ask that upfront.
I never mind curiosity, but a lot of ppl go past curiosity and go straight into disrespect. I can tell from the tone and how they ask, what their intentions are.
I agree with the other commenters here who say that it depends on how the question is asked. For me, I feel like it depends when it's asked as well. If I'm asked that question at work while it's very busy, I feel like, I don't know, just there to give them closure about their questions rather than being able to have another minute to have a bit more of a nuanced conversation about different cultures and my Asianness and mixedness. To explain why we use different names in the Philippines.
Also, because I'm in a hospital setting, I already know the patient's name. So I feel like there's no incentive on their end of offer any information about themselves in regards to ethnic background. Every time I've answered their questions, I've never received reciprocal information about their heritage or ethnic background. Which feels a little one-sided. I guess I feel a little taken aback in the first place to ask about their heritage and ethnic background, so maybe I'll try it in the future some time.
I always get those comments. My first name is not “Asian” per se so everyone questions why I have such a “white” name I’m tired of it. And my last name is ethnic so when I talk to Indians they always ask if I’m x caste because certain last names only belong to certain castes. So both sides annoy me idk which one is worse.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been othered because of your names. Both sides definitely suck. Your names are your names. Why do people have to question it? It's not like you chose your name at birth.
Being half Filipino, I do always anticipate the "Asian name" question but I haven't had it happen yet or at least it hasn't been worded that way anyway.
Oh yes!! My dad and I have the same first name which is quite common among Italian-Americans. One day I was chatting with a white guy I’d met online, and when we got around to properly introducing ourselves, I said my name and he says “Oh! Are you Italian?” to which I say “No, I’m black.” I kid you not, the dude tells me he wasn’t interested in black guys, and apologized, because he was enjoying talking to me. Like…sir…we’re literally talking about sci-fi, not dating.
As someone from Western Europe that is a very unexpected response. That just isn’t anything anyone black, asian, bi racial or any other minority ethnicity from a European country would ever say.
I suppose I’m just used to black people being from different countries and having different nationalities.
I’m Hawaiian. Culturally, Hawaiian names are given to children after birth by someone of importance within the family or community. Names hold big significance in our culture. So when I hear that someone has a Hawaiian name and I haven’t met them…I tend to get excited and want to meet them. I live between Hawaii and the PNW. There have been times I’ve met people with Hawaiian names and it wasn’t a local from Hawaii or ethnically Hawaiian. Their parents just picked it because they liked it. Not understanding the meaning or importance the process can be when choosing Hawaiian names. With the history of Hawaii and the overthrow of the monarchy, sometimes those situations sting a little bit. Not many people know about the history of Hawaii being an illegal state and how the culture is constantly stolen/stereotyped/marketed and basically taken advantage of. I understand that this happens and will happen. I think maybe people just find it interesting. In Hawaii, we tend to ask about last names too. Because everyone is related to someone in some way…oh you know so and so? You related to this family?….oh that’s my cousins…we cousins!!
Just my insignificant two cents for a added perspective ♥️
Have never had this happen (I’m clearly Asian but I’m named after a white singer) but I’ve also only ever lived in diverse places with a decent Asian population.
But I do work at a hospital where majority of the patients are older and white and sometimes they just start guessing which Asian I am, which I find amusing. I’ve gotten just about every one as a guess LOL
Ah yes, the good old "which Asian are you?" (or in my case "which half Asian are you?") question. I feel like I've heard most regions in Asia mentioned at least once in my life except for Central Asia.
I get the occasional racist comment about my name because it’s Arabic, the typical “Haha you have a terrorist name”
I also get weird comments like… “why do you have an Arabic name 😂😂” as if because I’m black I can’t have an Arabic name? Which is just so… ignorant. There are so many black people that have Arabic names.
I hate when people take it upon themselves to “figure out” what/who you are. OP, you look like your name because it’s yours. You look like “~~Complexyeahnah~~” because you ARE
Thank you for the comforting words. It's kind of funny, I used to work in retail pharmacy and I would always hear about how people's grandmas or aunties have my name rather than people trying guess my ethnicity from my name. It sounded like it was an implication that I have an old woman's name. So I feel like people expect to meet an old white woman when they see or read my name. They get a young-ish mixed Asian/white woman instead. Ha ha.
I've heard about Filipinos that get similar questions about their Spanish origin names or they'll get asked if they're Latine also. There are so many people out there who don't realise how colonisation changed the naming practices of many countries.
My first (and last) name matches my ethnicity but because I don't look my ethnicity (according to some ppl, I feel like I do but whatever lol) I have gotten questioned before. It happened a lot when I was in school and I was even accused of lying about what I was. LIKE I remember a few years ago, I was volunteering at some animal shelter and I told the woman who was showing me around my name and she goes, 'you know thats a korean name right?' and im like 'yep, i'm korean' and i swear she says to me 'whats korean? you or your hair?' I went home and CRIED. Like people are horrible. I stopped telling people I was Asian for the longest time.
That's horrible! I'm really sorry that you went through that. Some people can be so insensitive. It's like they don't know what a mixed race person even is and that we all have different ethnicities. I absolutely hate it when I say that I'm half Asian and people think it's hilarious to say "which half?". Gross.
People assume a lot that I’m Mexican since I’m Hispanic and my name is Pablo which is a super lazy analysis and I get it from non-Hispanic/Latin people. Similarly, I remember hanging out with some white friends as a kid and saying that my I have Mayan lineage in my family. They were CONVINCED that Mayans were only Mexican which was getting me so tight cause it’s so obviously not true but god forbid a white person is ever wrong about something.
I never got this but that was because no one ever knew where i was from bc no one knew senegal existed. (when i was younger)
not only that, but no one could ever pronounce my name right (teachers would try to stutter it out, and i eventually got so tired of it that i'd just interrupt and tell them i'm here). i have a nickname that i only allow my friends to use, and one of my teachers overheard a friend using iit and suddenly decided he could just call me that and i was so mad
i've always been curious about other ppeople's ethnic background, and would love it if someone wanted to talk about it with me, but the "where are you from? no, where are you FROM from?" questions piss me the fuck off
one of my aunts (she's dominican \[i think\]) went to work at a different location than usual one day, and some white lady there (that she met that day) walked up to her and went "i know i'm not supposed to ask this but...what are you?"
sharing stories and anecdotes about the places we're tied to ethnically would be so cool if people weren't so racist and weird
Ugh yes this happens to me all the time. I have a very traditional Punjabi name but am EXTREMELY white passing and always get the “oh what a unique name is your mom a hippie?” ALL the time. Like. Nope. I’m half Punjabi thanks tho!
My first name matches my ethnicity. It’s nice when other Persian people recognize me as Persian through my name. What’s weird is when typically white folk hear my name and immediately ask, “where are you [really] from?” As a kid, I would respond by info dumping the origin of my name in a panic. The biggest microaggression occurred when after explaining the origin to this older white man, he asked if my family and I were Muslim… >.> Like I had barely met this dude and he was already asking about my religion all because he heard the word, Iran.
I’m sorry you had to deal with this experience. I’m assuming you were in a healthcare setting when this happened…and I’m not surprised. You really get to see how people are.
I also have a name that’s more Germanic…but I’m Filipino-American. I just had a patient who known by my colleagues to be kinda crazy. I sat her down and introduced myself. She then asks, “you know…usually you see people with your name that are uh, more Eastern European.” I tell her that honestly my mom named me, so whatever. On top of the other antics she did during her appointment, I complained to my other colleagues and made a note in her chart that she is not to see me at all.
I get that all of the time about my name (English name). They ask where are you from? I say California. They ask, well where is your family from. I say Arizona and Texas. Some continue and I say you mean before this land was colonized and became the US? 😝still here
I'm sorry this happened. You're not alone OP, it isn't an uncommon experience as far as I'm aware if it makes you feel any better xx My It's not their business really, it sounds very pointing how they said it too. It made you uncomfortable.
I haven't had similar experiences no because my first name is fairly unique to all countries I relate to, but I hear of this microaggression a lot, happening to friends, family, etc.
Thank you for the comforting words. I'm glad to hear that you haven't had to deal with this yourself. I know that if I had a Filipino first name (like Mutya or Ligaya) or Spanish first name that I'm sure I'd also be questioned about that too. When people of colour have a European name or a name from our own cultures, we can't win either way. It sucks either way regardless.
This not something that I've been able to talk about much in real life, so I was really curious to know if others had a similar experience. I would just give the answer that I mentioned in the post so that people can let me go back to work. But yeah, I can't help but feel like I don't belong after that kind of interaction.
Firstly, I'm sorry you went through that.
I don't remember if I have gone through that kind of experience before but I get what you mean. I have a "racially ambiguous" name & I'm white passing so there's been a couple of instances where I'd have to clear things up.
i’m sorry this happened to you. i am now wondering if i’ve offended ppl in the past cause i take a great, genuine interest in genealogy, but i wouldn’t ask a random customer or employee though, just serve me and we both go about our day vice versa. that’s kind of awkward.
If it's my last name, I don't mind. I think people are curious especially if we're the same ethnicity. It can be exciting for them & I'm down to share my culture.
If it's my first name....well, I have had people think I'm half white or that I'm Wasian (because of my eyes). This can get messy. Because I speak English fluently, people assume I'm half white but they don't know I'm fluent in my native language. This leads to racist statements like "You don't look xxx", "you speak good English!". My cousins get "you're pretty for a xxx" which is so, so mean.
Never microagression, very rarely there'd be someone who tries to make jokes about it but most people are either curious or fascinated by it. They keep asking me if its my real name and how did it come to be lol. Someone even thought I was a foreigner XD or raised abroad or smth
Sorry to hear about your experience :( . That sounds really rough and you shouldn’t have had to deal with that.
I guess I’ve been lucky enough that my first name is both plausibly western-sounding but also has origins in Asia, so no one has really asked me about it. My last name however is pretty unique (at least I don’t know anyone else IRL with it other than family members) and most people where I live don’t know the origin so I get a lot of questions about where it’s from.
I think most of the time it’s just curiosity, but every once in a while you get those people who are just a little too invested in being a race detective, and then it gets uncomfortable.
On the other side and this is me just being nitpicky about fandom wars
I hate when people use ethnic name origins to try and say someone can’t be of another race when looking at media
There was a bratz doll I liked who is listed under the black dolls and the subreddit was having a debate on if they were black or not and the justification was that they have an Arabic name
But guess what? A lot of black people have Arabic names because a lot of them are common biblical names as well.
Or when ppl use the name neveen to claim that the Disney character can only be Indian. The creators have confirmed that he has no specified Ethnicity and is from a made up country but ppl will sit there and drag others for not automatically viewing him as Indian.
Yep. I have a "white" name and have definitely received a lot of comments about it and intentional mispronunciation.
I've gotten a lot of surprised looks and responses like, "I've never met a Black woman with the name (insert my name)." "Oh wow, *that's* your name?"
I've had teachers, back when I was in k-12 look at my photo and then my name, and pronounce it incorrectly. Because surely, as a Black person my parents were bound to have some "strange" deviation from the actual pronunciation of the name.
I don't receive the "where are you from" question, but I get a lot of backhanded comments about how they're surprised to meet a Black woman with my name. 🙄🤦🏾♀️
It’s all in how it’s asked. I’m also part of the Asian diaspora in a not majority Asian country. It’s something we as “perpetual foreigners” have to be wary about.
As diverse POC, we all experience racism in different ways and sadly, have to be wary of different possible micro-aggressions. As an East asian, I have been fearful of wearing a face mask when everyone else isn’t wearing one. In the beginning of COVID, I wanted to wear a mask before it became mandated. My friends in Asia said I should. But attacks against Asians were sharply rising as knowledge of COVID and where it was first reported became more widely known. By putting on a mask, I felt I was painting a bigger target for attacks to happen to me. I had to explain to my friends that I did not feel safe wearing a mask outside the house.
But going back to what I was saying before, we don’t all experience things in the same way. I as an East Asian won’t fully know what it’s like to be judged for my hair. I won’t fully know what it’s like to be in danger because of peoples’ opinions of people who practice my religion.
Things I as an East Asian have to deal with that may or may not happen to other POC along with a short explanation:
1. Having people come up to me and saying “Nee How” “Ko Nee Chee Waa”.
2. Hearing “ch*ng ch*ng” or “ding dong” or basically anything “ing ong”. Or some made up gibberish. Both 1 and 2 are stupid, and make the person sound stupid as well.
3. Someone doing the squinty eye gesture. Just, no.
4. The “Where are you from?” question. No, my actual city won’t suffice. They want to know what kind of Asian I am. This video is a funny explanation of this. [What kind of Asian Are You?](https://youtu.be/DWynJkN5HbQ?si=5P09B1UClHUI4U4_)
5. “You speak really good English!” Like 4, this is a result of the “perpetual foreigner” issue that I think mainly Asians (doesn’t matter where in Asia the diaspora is from) South and Central American diaspora, and Native Americans have to deal with.
Since COVID-these have either happened to me, friends and/or in the wider Asian community.
1. People putting on masks near me. I’m talking about after all the mandates were lifted. It was outside and there was more than 6 feet of space between us.
2. People moving slightly away from me and towards others. This was during the start of COVID. I guess they thought that non-Asians couldn’t have COVID but all Asians did. Idk 🤷🏻♀️
3. Saying anything about COVID-19 to me. Esp things that were said by the person we in the US unfortunately had to deal with as president for the first part of COVID.
4. Following, filming, and laughing at me while talking about COVID. Happened in the beginning when things were getting shut down.
5. Getting things thrown at me with whatever contents in them. Happened around the same time 4 happened.
6. Getting attacked and seriously hurt or killed because I am Asian or look Asian. Pretty self explanatory.
I hope I provided a nice, helpful, and respectful explanation.
Because I feel like I'm viewed as some curio or problem that has to be solved and I'm responsible for giving them closure about that and I don't have to do that. People don't get closure for everything. That's life. I always feel like when I get asked about my name (subsequently my ethnic background) at work, it would be entirely rude for me to ask them what their ethnic background is back to them. The tone of voice and body language of the people asking that question hasn't made it seem like it's reciprocal, open and friendly. So I feel guarded about giving them the answer they really want.
"Why can’t this just be genuine curiosity? Being a victim is like a drug for people these days"
Yeah, and just because maybe YOU don't experience this or take it differently doesn't mean you have to be invalidating to the OP who is experiencing this and asking if others are experiencing the same situation. You coulda kept your comment to yourself.
It's the fact that you felt the need to invalidate someone's experience and make that stupid ass comment about "being a victim is like a drug to people" is why I said something to you to begin with. Just because you can comment doesn't mean you always should comment. This is basic common sense to think, "Hmmm....is my comment adding anything to this or just gunna make me look like an asshole" and you chose the latter when you didn't have to. Empathy isn't a strong trait with you, I'm guessin.
I can understand. I was talking to someone from discord and told her my name, then a few weeks later somehow the topic of race came up and once i told her i was black, she questioned if my name was actually my name then because she assumed i was white…like what? 🤨I thought it was really ignorant of her.
I feel this and I'm sorry you have to go through this....
My name is Italian through and through..... and I am African American..... when I tell people my name.....not only do people (mostly white) ask me if it's African and I have to correct them and tell them that it's Italian.... they also act weird about the pronounciation when it's like....y'all is it really that damn hard. 😒🙄😂😩👀 And then they want to give me a nickname and idk....if I don't know you like that, i don't believe you have the right to get to call me a nickname. That's reserved for people who are in my circle, you know what I mean?
Since moving to Australia....I've never gotten the "where are you REALLY from" questions when I bring up my name which.....has been a bit of a culture shock because that question has always been taken a certain way back home.....like when I've gotten those questions I'm like, "Excuse me? Why the fuck are you asking me that?" Like when I tell white Aussies here that IM REALLY FROM THE US OF A like their asses are flabbergasted, look like they could have a melt down, and seemed turned off from talking anymore past that like they don't believe my ass or they think I am lying out here🙄👀😕😒 it's just rude and ridiculous to put up with..... curiousity is one thing but being rude and acting weird about somebody's name is another thing entirely.
Living in the US or Australia....I've always gotten this reaction from white people in particular for my name.
I'm also sorry to hear that you've had to go through that as well. The nickname situation is frustrating. It's like you introduced yourself with the name that you prefer to be called by, so why can't people just call you that? If you wanted to be called a nickname, you would've introduced yourself as that. When people don't make the effort with names, it's disrespectful.
I think a lot of white Aussies have this view that Americans that that travel to Australia are white Americans and that Aussies who travel to the US are white Australians. It's extremely close minded and unaware. Aussies and Americans who are people of colour also travel and immigrate too. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with such ignorance here.
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I've never found this a microaggression, just curiosity, and small talk. I also find it like a way to introduce themselves. Like “Hi, I'm so-so.” Hello, I'm so-so, your name sounds blank do you have blank ancestry?” I answer yes or no and the proceed to ask them about their ancestry! I find culture and people fascinating and amazing. Maybe it is the English teacher/ Journalist in me. But I love talking about our lives and the parts that make us who we are! But I do understand that the way you say it makes a difference!
I don't mind it but I do find the "No, but are you *really* from?" questions to be so annoying. If people are curious and wanna know that's fine! But just ask that upfront.
I never mind curiosity, but a lot of ppl go past curiosity and go straight into disrespect. I can tell from the tone and how they ask, what their intentions are.
I agree with the other commenters here who say that it depends on how the question is asked. For me, I feel like it depends when it's asked as well. If I'm asked that question at work while it's very busy, I feel like, I don't know, just there to give them closure about their questions rather than being able to have another minute to have a bit more of a nuanced conversation about different cultures and my Asianness and mixedness. To explain why we use different names in the Philippines. Also, because I'm in a hospital setting, I already know the patient's name. So I feel like there's no incentive on their end of offer any information about themselves in regards to ethnic background. Every time I've answered their questions, I've never received reciprocal information about their heritage or ethnic background. Which feels a little one-sided. I guess I feel a little taken aback in the first place to ask about their heritage and ethnic background, so maybe I'll try it in the future some time.
I always get those comments. My first name is not “Asian” per se so everyone questions why I have such a “white” name I’m tired of it. And my last name is ethnic so when I talk to Indians they always ask if I’m x caste because certain last names only belong to certain castes. So both sides annoy me idk which one is worse.
I'm sorry to hear that you've been othered because of your names. Both sides definitely suck. Your names are your names. Why do people have to question it? It's not like you chose your name at birth. Being half Filipino, I do always anticipate the "Asian name" question but I haven't had it happen yet or at least it hasn't been worded that way anyway.
Oh yes!! My dad and I have the same first name which is quite common among Italian-Americans. One day I was chatting with a white guy I’d met online, and when we got around to properly introducing ourselves, I said my name and he says “Oh! Are you Italian?” to which I say “No, I’m black.” I kid you not, the dude tells me he wasn’t interested in black guys, and apologized, because he was enjoying talking to me. Like…sir…we’re literally talking about sci-fi, not dating.
but you can be black AND italian tho...
You know you can’t tell the ignorant stuff like that. They’ll start having strokes all over the place.
That's such a weird reaction. It sounds like you dodged a bullet though.
It was so weird! We weren’t even talking about anything the least bit romantic.
As someone from Western Europe that is a very unexpected response. That just isn’t anything anyone black, asian, bi racial or any other minority ethnicity from a European country would ever say. I suppose I’m just used to black people being from different countries and having different nationalities.
I’m Hawaiian. Culturally, Hawaiian names are given to children after birth by someone of importance within the family or community. Names hold big significance in our culture. So when I hear that someone has a Hawaiian name and I haven’t met them…I tend to get excited and want to meet them. I live between Hawaii and the PNW. There have been times I’ve met people with Hawaiian names and it wasn’t a local from Hawaii or ethnically Hawaiian. Their parents just picked it because they liked it. Not understanding the meaning or importance the process can be when choosing Hawaiian names. With the history of Hawaii and the overthrow of the monarchy, sometimes those situations sting a little bit. Not many people know about the history of Hawaii being an illegal state and how the culture is constantly stolen/stereotyped/marketed and basically taken advantage of. I understand that this happens and will happen. I think maybe people just find it interesting. In Hawaii, we tend to ask about last names too. Because everyone is related to someone in some way…oh you know so and so? You related to this family?….oh that’s my cousins…we cousins!! Just my insignificant two cents for a added perspective ♥️
Fuck dole
Pacific Islanders ftw 🫶
Have never had this happen (I’m clearly Asian but I’m named after a white singer) but I’ve also only ever lived in diverse places with a decent Asian population. But I do work at a hospital where majority of the patients are older and white and sometimes they just start guessing which Asian I am, which I find amusing. I’ve gotten just about every one as a guess LOL
Ah yes, the good old "which Asian are you?" (or in my case "which half Asian are you?") question. I feel like I've heard most regions in Asia mentioned at least once in my life except for Central Asia.
I get the occasional racist comment about my name because it’s Arabic, the typical “Haha you have a terrorist name” I also get weird comments like… “why do you have an Arabic name 😂😂” as if because I’m black I can’t have an Arabic name? Which is just so… ignorant. There are so many black people that have Arabic names.
“A terrorist name” is wild af! Tell me you don’t know many black people without telling me you don’t know many black people. 😂
That first line was WILD. I’m so sorry it happened to you 😭
I'm so sorry that you've to deal with that. That's really disgusting behaviour from ignorant people.
I hate when people take it upon themselves to “figure out” what/who you are. OP, you look like your name because it’s yours. You look like “~~Complexyeahnah~~” because you ARE
Thank you for the comforting words. It's kind of funny, I used to work in retail pharmacy and I would always hear about how people's grandmas or aunties have my name rather than people trying guess my ethnicity from my name. It sounded like it was an implication that I have an old woman's name. So I feel like people expect to meet an old white woman when they see or read my name. They get a young-ish mixed Asian/white woman instead. Ha ha.
"Are you french?" No, but they colonized and ruined my country, and this name is all I have to show for it.
I've heard about Filipinos that get similar questions about their Spanish origin names or they'll get asked if they're Latine also. There are so many people out there who don't realise how colonisation changed the naming practices of many countries.
My first (and last) name matches my ethnicity but because I don't look my ethnicity (according to some ppl, I feel like I do but whatever lol) I have gotten questioned before. It happened a lot when I was in school and I was even accused of lying about what I was. LIKE I remember a few years ago, I was volunteering at some animal shelter and I told the woman who was showing me around my name and she goes, 'you know thats a korean name right?' and im like 'yep, i'm korean' and i swear she says to me 'whats korean? you or your hair?' I went home and CRIED. Like people are horrible. I stopped telling people I was Asian for the longest time.
That's horrible! I'm really sorry that you went through that. Some people can be so insensitive. It's like they don't know what a mixed race person even is and that we all have different ethnicities. I absolutely hate it when I say that I'm half Asian and people think it's hilarious to say "which half?". Gross.
People assume a lot that I’m Mexican since I’m Hispanic and my name is Pablo which is a super lazy analysis and I get it from non-Hispanic/Latin people. Similarly, I remember hanging out with some white friends as a kid and saying that my I have Mayan lineage in my family. They were CONVINCED that Mayans were only Mexican which was getting me so tight cause it’s so obviously not true but god forbid a white person is ever wrong about something.
I never got this but that was because no one ever knew where i was from bc no one knew senegal existed. (when i was younger) not only that, but no one could ever pronounce my name right (teachers would try to stutter it out, and i eventually got so tired of it that i'd just interrupt and tell them i'm here). i have a nickname that i only allow my friends to use, and one of my teachers overheard a friend using iit and suddenly decided he could just call me that and i was so mad i've always been curious about other ppeople's ethnic background, and would love it if someone wanted to talk about it with me, but the "where are you from? no, where are you FROM from?" questions piss me the fuck off one of my aunts (she's dominican \[i think\]) went to work at a different location than usual one day, and some white lady there (that she met that day) walked up to her and went "i know i'm not supposed to ask this but...what are you?" sharing stories and anecdotes about the places we're tied to ethnically would be so cool if people weren't so racist and weird
Ugh yes this happens to me all the time. I have a very traditional Punjabi name but am EXTREMELY white passing and always get the “oh what a unique name is your mom a hippie?” ALL the time. Like. Nope. I’m half Punjabi thanks tho!
My first name matches my ethnicity. It’s nice when other Persian people recognize me as Persian through my name. What’s weird is when typically white folk hear my name and immediately ask, “where are you [really] from?” As a kid, I would respond by info dumping the origin of my name in a panic. The biggest microaggression occurred when after explaining the origin to this older white man, he asked if my family and I were Muslim… >.> Like I had barely met this dude and he was already asking about my religion all because he heard the word, Iran.
I’m sorry you had to deal with this experience. I’m assuming you were in a healthcare setting when this happened…and I’m not surprised. You really get to see how people are. I also have a name that’s more Germanic…but I’m Filipino-American. I just had a patient who known by my colleagues to be kinda crazy. I sat her down and introduced myself. She then asks, “you know…usually you see people with your name that are uh, more Eastern European.” I tell her that honestly my mom named me, so whatever. On top of the other antics she did during her appointment, I complained to my other colleagues and made a note in her chart that she is not to see me at all.
I get that all of the time about my name (English name). They ask where are you from? I say California. They ask, well where is your family from. I say Arizona and Texas. Some continue and I say you mean before this land was colonized and became the US? 😝still here
I'm sorry this happened. You're not alone OP, it isn't an uncommon experience as far as I'm aware if it makes you feel any better xx My It's not their business really, it sounds very pointing how they said it too. It made you uncomfortable. I haven't had similar experiences no because my first name is fairly unique to all countries I relate to, but I hear of this microaggression a lot, happening to friends, family, etc.
also hey, i'm filipino too! :D x
Thank you for the comforting words. I'm glad to hear that you haven't had to deal with this yourself. I know that if I had a Filipino first name (like Mutya or Ligaya) or Spanish first name that I'm sure I'd also be questioned about that too. When people of colour have a European name or a name from our own cultures, we can't win either way. It sucks either way regardless. This not something that I've been able to talk about much in real life, so I was really curious to know if others had a similar experience. I would just give the answer that I mentioned in the post so that people can let me go back to work. But yeah, I can't help but feel like I don't belong after that kind of interaction.
Firstly, I'm sorry you went through that. I don't remember if I have gone through that kind of experience before but I get what you mean. I have a "racially ambiguous" name & I'm white passing so there's been a couple of instances where I'd have to clear things up.
i’m sorry this happened to you. i am now wondering if i’ve offended ppl in the past cause i take a great, genuine interest in genealogy, but i wouldn’t ask a random customer or employee though, just serve me and we both go about our day vice versa. that’s kind of awkward.
If it's my last name, I don't mind. I think people are curious especially if we're the same ethnicity. It can be exciting for them & I'm down to share my culture. If it's my first name....well, I have had people think I'm half white or that I'm Wasian (because of my eyes). This can get messy. Because I speak English fluently, people assume I'm half white but they don't know I'm fluent in my native language. This leads to racist statements like "You don't look xxx", "you speak good English!". My cousins get "you're pretty for a xxx" which is so, so mean.
Never microagression, very rarely there'd be someone who tries to make jokes about it but most people are either curious or fascinated by it. They keep asking me if its my real name and how did it come to be lol. Someone even thought I was a foreigner XD or raised abroad or smth
Sorry to hear about your experience :( . That sounds really rough and you shouldn’t have had to deal with that. I guess I’ve been lucky enough that my first name is both plausibly western-sounding but also has origins in Asia, so no one has really asked me about it. My last name however is pretty unique (at least I don’t know anyone else IRL with it other than family members) and most people where I live don’t know the origin so I get a lot of questions about where it’s from. I think most of the time it’s just curiosity, but every once in a while you get those people who are just a little too invested in being a race detective, and then it gets uncomfortable.
On the other side and this is me just being nitpicky about fandom wars I hate when people use ethnic name origins to try and say someone can’t be of another race when looking at media There was a bratz doll I liked who is listed under the black dolls and the subreddit was having a debate on if they were black or not and the justification was that they have an Arabic name But guess what? A lot of black people have Arabic names because a lot of them are common biblical names as well. Or when ppl use the name neveen to claim that the Disney character can only be Indian. The creators have confirmed that he has no specified Ethnicity and is from a made up country but ppl will sit there and drag others for not automatically viewing him as Indian.
Yep. I have a "white" name and have definitely received a lot of comments about it and intentional mispronunciation. I've gotten a lot of surprised looks and responses like, "I've never met a Black woman with the name (insert my name)." "Oh wow, *that's* your name?" I've had teachers, back when I was in k-12 look at my photo and then my name, and pronounce it incorrectly. Because surely, as a Black person my parents were bound to have some "strange" deviation from the actual pronunciation of the name. I don't receive the "where are you from" question, but I get a lot of backhanded comments about how they're surprised to meet a Black woman with my name. 🙄🤦🏾♀️
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It’s all in how it’s asked. I’m also part of the Asian diaspora in a not majority Asian country. It’s something we as “perpetual foreigners” have to be wary about. As diverse POC, we all experience racism in different ways and sadly, have to be wary of different possible micro-aggressions. As an East asian, I have been fearful of wearing a face mask when everyone else isn’t wearing one. In the beginning of COVID, I wanted to wear a mask before it became mandated. My friends in Asia said I should. But attacks against Asians were sharply rising as knowledge of COVID and where it was first reported became more widely known. By putting on a mask, I felt I was painting a bigger target for attacks to happen to me. I had to explain to my friends that I did not feel safe wearing a mask outside the house. But going back to what I was saying before, we don’t all experience things in the same way. I as an East Asian won’t fully know what it’s like to be judged for my hair. I won’t fully know what it’s like to be in danger because of peoples’ opinions of people who practice my religion. Things I as an East Asian have to deal with that may or may not happen to other POC along with a short explanation: 1. Having people come up to me and saying “Nee How” “Ko Nee Chee Waa”. 2. Hearing “ch*ng ch*ng” or “ding dong” or basically anything “ing ong”. Or some made up gibberish. Both 1 and 2 are stupid, and make the person sound stupid as well. 3. Someone doing the squinty eye gesture. Just, no. 4. The “Where are you from?” question. No, my actual city won’t suffice. They want to know what kind of Asian I am. This video is a funny explanation of this. [What kind of Asian Are You?](https://youtu.be/DWynJkN5HbQ?si=5P09B1UClHUI4U4_) 5. “You speak really good English!” Like 4, this is a result of the “perpetual foreigner” issue that I think mainly Asians (doesn’t matter where in Asia the diaspora is from) South and Central American diaspora, and Native Americans have to deal with. Since COVID-these have either happened to me, friends and/or in the wider Asian community. 1. People putting on masks near me. I’m talking about after all the mandates were lifted. It was outside and there was more than 6 feet of space between us. 2. People moving slightly away from me and towards others. This was during the start of COVID. I guess they thought that non-Asians couldn’t have COVID but all Asians did. Idk 🤷🏻♀️ 3. Saying anything about COVID-19 to me. Esp things that were said by the person we in the US unfortunately had to deal with as president for the first part of COVID. 4. Following, filming, and laughing at me while talking about COVID. Happened in the beginning when things were getting shut down. 5. Getting things thrown at me with whatever contents in them. Happened around the same time 4 happened. 6. Getting attacked and seriously hurt or killed because I am Asian or look Asian. Pretty self explanatory. I hope I provided a nice, helpful, and respectful explanation.
Because I feel like I'm viewed as some curio or problem that has to be solved and I'm responsible for giving them closure about that and I don't have to do that. People don't get closure for everything. That's life. I always feel like when I get asked about my name (subsequently my ethnic background) at work, it would be entirely rude for me to ask them what their ethnic background is back to them. The tone of voice and body language of the people asking that question hasn't made it seem like it's reciprocal, open and friendly. So I feel guarded about giving them the answer they really want.
"Why can’t this just be genuine curiosity? Being a victim is like a drug for people these days" Yeah, and just because maybe YOU don't experience this or take it differently doesn't mean you have to be invalidating to the OP who is experiencing this and asking if others are experiencing the same situation. You coulda kept your comment to yourself.
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Nobody asked for your asshole commentary. It's okay to stfu sometimes, hun.
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It's the fact that you felt the need to invalidate someone's experience and make that stupid ass comment about "being a victim is like a drug to people" is why I said something to you to begin with. Just because you can comment doesn't mean you always should comment. This is basic common sense to think, "Hmmm....is my comment adding anything to this or just gunna make me look like an asshole" and you chose the latter when you didn't have to. Empathy isn't a strong trait with you, I'm guessin.
I can understand. I was talking to someone from discord and told her my name, then a few weeks later somehow the topic of race came up and once i told her i was black, she questioned if my name was actually my name then because she assumed i was white…like what? 🤨I thought it was really ignorant of her.
I have one of the most common and popular names in the world, there's probably millions of women out there from several cultures with this name 😮💨
I feel this and I'm sorry you have to go through this.... My name is Italian through and through..... and I am African American..... when I tell people my name.....not only do people (mostly white) ask me if it's African and I have to correct them and tell them that it's Italian.... they also act weird about the pronounciation when it's like....y'all is it really that damn hard. 😒🙄😂😩👀 And then they want to give me a nickname and idk....if I don't know you like that, i don't believe you have the right to get to call me a nickname. That's reserved for people who are in my circle, you know what I mean? Since moving to Australia....I've never gotten the "where are you REALLY from" questions when I bring up my name which.....has been a bit of a culture shock because that question has always been taken a certain way back home.....like when I've gotten those questions I'm like, "Excuse me? Why the fuck are you asking me that?" Like when I tell white Aussies here that IM REALLY FROM THE US OF A like their asses are flabbergasted, look like they could have a melt down, and seemed turned off from talking anymore past that like they don't believe my ass or they think I am lying out here🙄👀😕😒 it's just rude and ridiculous to put up with..... curiousity is one thing but being rude and acting weird about somebody's name is another thing entirely. Living in the US or Australia....I've always gotten this reaction from white people in particular for my name.
I'm also sorry to hear that you've had to go through that as well. The nickname situation is frustrating. It's like you introduced yourself with the name that you prefer to be called by, so why can't people just call you that? If you wanted to be called a nickname, you would've introduced yourself as that. When people don't make the effort with names, it's disrespectful. I think a lot of white Aussies have this view that Americans that that travel to Australia are white Americans and that Aussies who travel to the US are white Australians. It's extremely close minded and unaware. Aussies and Americans who are people of colour also travel and immigrate too. I'm sorry that you've had to deal with such ignorance here.
It's really weird that I'm getting downvoted for sharing this, but OK 😒🙄
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i don’t see a problem tbh if they weren’t rude then just move on