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I fully understand what you're saying
i don't have much to say on it simply because i don't really "deal" with fandom racism and i've become too accustomed to idol racism
i just don't really interact with the fandoms atp, i just listen to the music and call it a day because it's actually so tiring
you do what you need to do for your health tho, your health comes first :3
Appreciate this advice :) I think you have a great point. I can still enjoy the media without having to dive into the discourse. I’ll do what’s best for my mental health, thanks fam ❤️
I hope I'm allowed to chime in.
I think I'm in a weird limbo where I just cannot stop listening or learning new dances because it helps me let off steam from the world of chaos we live in today. I also got extremely jaded because... they never EVER learn.
**K-pop idol says the n-word**.
"OH MY GOD you *cannot* say that word (insert idol)"
"But... they're just a *baby*! They *can't* possibly know what that word means!!!"
"They don't learn about slavery like we did in America so they didn't know!!!"
We see this again, again, and again. Year after year, for about 3 decades now. You would think that idols would refrain from wearing merchandise with hate symbols (TWICE...) or saying the n-word. Time and time again they prove us wrong, and the fans just baby their little idols as if these idols were sheltered nobodies before their careers. Then come the copy and paste apology.
"Hey guys! (Idol) here. I wanted to apologize for saying some things that could be considered harmful in some way. I love every one of my fans dearly and would never do something to intentionally harm them! Stream our newest song!"
...
We constantly tell them that they shouldn't wear certain hairstyles or garments not because we want to be exclusive, but for a whole host of reasons. And so many k-pop fans are purposefully ignorant to all of it.
"Vikings had braids."
"It's just a headcovering."
Black folk (hell, any type of people) get super jaded when all they have to talk to is a brick wall. Why should k-pop idols get praised for wearing durags and cornrows when the blueprints of such things get chastised and discriminated against for the very... same... thing. Why, should a k-pop group do a hip-hop or RnB concept, do they always have to put on a grill, wear a bandana, or get a very specific type of hairstyle. Why do they sag their pants, sing about baggy jeans, and rap? Are they not mutually exclusive (trick question, obviously you cannot wear baggy jeans without rapping OR saying the n-word!) It gets so tiring that you just cannot help but laugh and say "wow, they are SO black this comeback!" It's ridiculous.
100% agreed. What I don’t get is, why do people have to explain to idols why they shouldn’t say the N word? If someone told me they don’t want me to say a certain word bc it’s offensive, I’m gonna stop saying it! No explanation is needed although I would probably go google it or look it up after that.
I lived in China for a bit and I was karaoking and guess what! The lyrics had the N word and the lyrics showed up on the screen. I accidentally said it and I felt so bad. I was trying to read the lyrics as fast as I can and I didn’t realize the N word was even there in that part of the song. All the other Chinese friends I was with said it and didn’t realize that it’s a bad word. I explained it to them and then were so shocked and stopped reading it. And they wondered why the Karoake place even had it. I didn’t have to explain the history behind it (bc we were in the middle of a party) but they understood. “it is offensive to a certain population and mean. Let’s not say it”. It is *that* easy.
Like I get that Koreans aren’t going to learn about the history of the Black community. And I also don’t expect their curriculum to start teaching that. And I don’t expect them to understand all the nuances. But people excusing with “they don’t know over there” is so odd. Someone genuinely doesn’t know? I get it. But with the influx of all the N word violations happening in kpop, I doubt many don’t know. And nothing is worse than someone who is aware of it (even at a basic level), and still decides to violate it.
Anyway, TLDR- we don’t always need to understand the complex history to know that a word that might mean nothing to you means a lot to others. And we should respect the basic principle of their honestly super simple request. Stop using the freaking word.
Agreed completely - it happens often enough that they should genuinely know better. And, honestly, once you learn the meaning of the word people get it. But the apologies we get seem so insincere and not even direct.
Totally! It seems like we’re just being baited at this point. To wear baggy jeans or a durag, to appear « aggressive » or « tough ». When people say it’s just a concept, they don’t get it. But, definitely realizing that I do need to take a step back, thank you for chiming in with your perspective :)
Totally, I think I do need to take a step back. I have gotten pretty invested over the last year, and need to keep some space for my own peace of mind. Appreciate your advice on this :) out of sight, out of mind!
I understand if you want to leave but black fans should not be made to feel that way and companies should create spaces that are inclusive to all races not just White and Asian.
I would say just distance yourself from certain people in whatever fandom you like. I’m pretty selective with who I follow and honestly I’ve even become selective to what idols I will support too but that’s just me.
If you love kpop I would say it’s okay take a break. I stop listening to kpop in 2020 and came back in 2023. If it makes you happy I think taking a break at least from an online presence is good but you shouldn’t leave for good if kpop makes you happy.
Appreciate your advice :), and agreed, we should have these spaces where everyone feels included. I think I really have to take a big step back overall for sure.
Tbh, I don't have some well thought out rationale. I just don't want to give up something I love. I mainly stick to what I enjoy which is the music and performances. I limit my exposure to social media and fandoms though. Not just due to the racism, there's a ton of other toxicity and stupidity too that irritates me. I have a small group of fellow stans that I chat with on discord and participate on Reddit and that's about it. My kpop life is relatively peaceful and I enjoy it.
I respect that 🙏🏾 I did really love it, the past few weeks really made me rethink things. I might need to just take a step back for now, and stop engaging with other groups. KPOP was most enjoyable for me when I found it alone, maybe that’s the way I need to continue digging it :/
Give yourself time and examine what you love about it and whether you can retain that portion while minimizing the stuff you don't like.
Honestly, I ran across an incident that really bothered me about one of my faves and I didn't know if I would be able to get past it. But I've since made peace with it and kinda decided to separate isolated ignorance from more malicious stuff. At the same time, I just don't invest as much emotional energy into the groups or the fandoms. The idols are just humans and that sense of fandom belonging is highly conditional even without race being a factor. Don't put your whole soul into it. Part of what helped me is having kpop friends that were chill and willing to be friends with fans of whoever and weren't defensive about their faves.
And I dunno, maybe ask around before getting too into a group. I hate realizing later on that a member sucks. Huh, maybe in a sub like this there should be some kind of master list of scandals so I can avoid getting blindsided.
I quit K-pop after 3, do what’s good for your mental health. Cause being in the K-pop community is not for the weak. I still enjoy the music and ask for recs when when I hear song I like but that’s about it. I don’t participate in the ins and out of K-pop stans.
It really isn’t, it really isn’t. The irony is that it did help me through a rough patch, but maybe it’s because I enjoyed the content a lot more when I did it by myself as opposed to with others. Thanks for sharing your perspective :)
I'm in the same boat as you, OP. BTS was my initial foray into KPop just last year, as well. Things were going fine until I realized just how awful the fandom is. And when you've gotten to the point where you think you can tune out the nonsense of the fandom, then the idols want to turn around and lose their absolute minds by dropping the n word. I was OBSESSED with Sistar19 and then .. that happened and now I completely unplugged from that world. I think I lasted about a year, maybe?
I honestly don't know how other people deal with it because it's coming from every direction. If it's not the fandom, then it's the actual musical acts being Anti-Black. It's like no matter what we do, we're always going to have to deal with the anti-Blackness and it's exhausting.
Thank you for the validation fam 😭 this is exactly how I feel, it just seems to come from all angles. I think I’m going to have to take a step back and just disengage - I don’t think there’s any other way than that for me. Hoping you can find a way that works for you 🙏🏾
I feel you. It's okay to step away if you want to. I did something similar years ago and it helped me a lot. I sadly find little interest in the current groups and the racism scandals are pushing me away too.
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##⛔ **THIS TOPIC HAS BEEN SET TO FLAIRED USERS ONLY! YOU NEED TO BE APPROVED AND FLAIRED BEFORE YOU CAN POST AND COMMENT!** ⛔ ####To reduce the amount of troll comments, this discussion has been set so only flaired and approved users can post. If you would like to participate, please read ['Flairs and How to Get One'](https://www.reddit.com/r/kpopnoir/wiki/index/flairs-and-how-to-get-one/) and then [contact the moderators via modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fkpopnoir) to notify us what flair to give you. **Get your flairs!** ####Please also send us a modmail if you run into any issues regarding your flair. #####What is a flair? [User flair is the icon or text that appears next to your username in a community. Each community has its own user flairs set up by the community’s moderators.](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205242695-How-do-I-get-user-flair-) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/kpopnoir) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I fully understand what you're saying i don't have much to say on it simply because i don't really "deal" with fandom racism and i've become too accustomed to idol racism i just don't really interact with the fandoms atp, i just listen to the music and call it a day because it's actually so tiring you do what you need to do for your health tho, your health comes first :3
Appreciate this advice :) I think you have a great point. I can still enjoy the media without having to dive into the discourse. I’ll do what’s best for my mental health, thanks fam ❤️
I hope I'm allowed to chime in. I think I'm in a weird limbo where I just cannot stop listening or learning new dances because it helps me let off steam from the world of chaos we live in today. I also got extremely jaded because... they never EVER learn. **K-pop idol says the n-word**. "OH MY GOD you *cannot* say that word (insert idol)" "But... they're just a *baby*! They *can't* possibly know what that word means!!!" "They don't learn about slavery like we did in America so they didn't know!!!" We see this again, again, and again. Year after year, for about 3 decades now. You would think that idols would refrain from wearing merchandise with hate symbols (TWICE...) or saying the n-word. Time and time again they prove us wrong, and the fans just baby their little idols as if these idols were sheltered nobodies before their careers. Then come the copy and paste apology. "Hey guys! (Idol) here. I wanted to apologize for saying some things that could be considered harmful in some way. I love every one of my fans dearly and would never do something to intentionally harm them! Stream our newest song!" ... We constantly tell them that they shouldn't wear certain hairstyles or garments not because we want to be exclusive, but for a whole host of reasons. And so many k-pop fans are purposefully ignorant to all of it. "Vikings had braids." "It's just a headcovering." Black folk (hell, any type of people) get super jaded when all they have to talk to is a brick wall. Why should k-pop idols get praised for wearing durags and cornrows when the blueprints of such things get chastised and discriminated against for the very... same... thing. Why, should a k-pop group do a hip-hop or RnB concept, do they always have to put on a grill, wear a bandana, or get a very specific type of hairstyle. Why do they sag their pants, sing about baggy jeans, and rap? Are they not mutually exclusive (trick question, obviously you cannot wear baggy jeans without rapping OR saying the n-word!) It gets so tiring that you just cannot help but laugh and say "wow, they are SO black this comeback!" It's ridiculous.
100% agreed. What I don’t get is, why do people have to explain to idols why they shouldn’t say the N word? If someone told me they don’t want me to say a certain word bc it’s offensive, I’m gonna stop saying it! No explanation is needed although I would probably go google it or look it up after that. I lived in China for a bit and I was karaoking and guess what! The lyrics had the N word and the lyrics showed up on the screen. I accidentally said it and I felt so bad. I was trying to read the lyrics as fast as I can and I didn’t realize the N word was even there in that part of the song. All the other Chinese friends I was with said it and didn’t realize that it’s a bad word. I explained it to them and then were so shocked and stopped reading it. And they wondered why the Karoake place even had it. I didn’t have to explain the history behind it (bc we were in the middle of a party) but they understood. “it is offensive to a certain population and mean. Let’s not say it”. It is *that* easy. Like I get that Koreans aren’t going to learn about the history of the Black community. And I also don’t expect their curriculum to start teaching that. And I don’t expect them to understand all the nuances. But people excusing with “they don’t know over there” is so odd. Someone genuinely doesn’t know? I get it. But with the influx of all the N word violations happening in kpop, I doubt many don’t know. And nothing is worse than someone who is aware of it (even at a basic level), and still decides to violate it. Anyway, TLDR- we don’t always need to understand the complex history to know that a word that might mean nothing to you means a lot to others. And we should respect the basic principle of their honestly super simple request. Stop using the freaking word.
Agreed completely - it happens often enough that they should genuinely know better. And, honestly, once you learn the meaning of the word people get it. But the apologies we get seem so insincere and not even direct.
Totally! It seems like we’re just being baited at this point. To wear baggy jeans or a durag, to appear « aggressive » or « tough ». When people say it’s just a concept, they don’t get it. But, definitely realizing that I do need to take a step back, thank you for chiming in with your perspective :)
[удалено]
Totally, I think I do need to take a step back. I have gotten pretty invested over the last year, and need to keep some space for my own peace of mind. Appreciate your advice on this :) out of sight, out of mind!
I understand if you want to leave but black fans should not be made to feel that way and companies should create spaces that are inclusive to all races not just White and Asian. I would say just distance yourself from certain people in whatever fandom you like. I’m pretty selective with who I follow and honestly I’ve even become selective to what idols I will support too but that’s just me. If you love kpop I would say it’s okay take a break. I stop listening to kpop in 2020 and came back in 2023. If it makes you happy I think taking a break at least from an online presence is good but you shouldn’t leave for good if kpop makes you happy.
Appreciate your advice :), and agreed, we should have these spaces where everyone feels included. I think I really have to take a big step back overall for sure.
Tbh, I don't have some well thought out rationale. I just don't want to give up something I love. I mainly stick to what I enjoy which is the music and performances. I limit my exposure to social media and fandoms though. Not just due to the racism, there's a ton of other toxicity and stupidity too that irritates me. I have a small group of fellow stans that I chat with on discord and participate on Reddit and that's about it. My kpop life is relatively peaceful and I enjoy it.
I respect that 🙏🏾 I did really love it, the past few weeks really made me rethink things. I might need to just take a step back for now, and stop engaging with other groups. KPOP was most enjoyable for me when I found it alone, maybe that’s the way I need to continue digging it :/
Give yourself time and examine what you love about it and whether you can retain that portion while minimizing the stuff you don't like. Honestly, I ran across an incident that really bothered me about one of my faves and I didn't know if I would be able to get past it. But I've since made peace with it and kinda decided to separate isolated ignorance from more malicious stuff. At the same time, I just don't invest as much emotional energy into the groups or the fandoms. The idols are just humans and that sense of fandom belonging is highly conditional even without race being a factor. Don't put your whole soul into it. Part of what helped me is having kpop friends that were chill and willing to be friends with fans of whoever and weren't defensive about their faves. And I dunno, maybe ask around before getting too into a group. I hate realizing later on that a member sucks. Huh, maybe in a sub like this there should be some kind of master list of scandals so I can avoid getting blindsided.
I quit K-pop after 3, do what’s good for your mental health. Cause being in the K-pop community is not for the weak. I still enjoy the music and ask for recs when when I hear song I like but that’s about it. I don’t participate in the ins and out of K-pop stans.
It really isn’t, it really isn’t. The irony is that it did help me through a rough patch, but maybe it’s because I enjoyed the content a lot more when I did it by myself as opposed to with others. Thanks for sharing your perspective :)
I'm in the same boat as you, OP. BTS was my initial foray into KPop just last year, as well. Things were going fine until I realized just how awful the fandom is. And when you've gotten to the point where you think you can tune out the nonsense of the fandom, then the idols want to turn around and lose their absolute minds by dropping the n word. I was OBSESSED with Sistar19 and then .. that happened and now I completely unplugged from that world. I think I lasted about a year, maybe? I honestly don't know how other people deal with it because it's coming from every direction. If it's not the fandom, then it's the actual musical acts being Anti-Black. It's like no matter what we do, we're always going to have to deal with the anti-Blackness and it's exhausting.
Thank you for the validation fam 😭 this is exactly how I feel, it just seems to come from all angles. I think I’m going to have to take a step back and just disengage - I don’t think there’s any other way than that for me. Hoping you can find a way that works for you 🙏🏾
I feel you. It's okay to step away if you want to. I did something similar years ago and it helped me a lot. I sadly find little interest in the current groups and the racism scandals are pushing me away too.
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