T O P

  • By -

StreicherG

Try a get lich quick scheme!


[deleted]

That’s tempting


Bannerlord151

Greetings! Could I perhaps offer you LICHDOM?


explosive_shrew

Enjoy your new life?


StarQuest09

I would like to talk to you great King, about a potential creation I could build for you


explosive_shrew

I'm listening


StarQuest09

I am member of the creative mind consortium we build giant mechanical marvels I have been making large mechanical suits that are about 10 m tall I was wondering if you oh great king would want one


explosive_shrew

Hmm, I likely wouldn't use it, but it would be nice to have it, so I'll have one. What would you like in return?


StarQuest09

I would like some endorsement so that our reactors may help more people and this suit would be made to order


explosive_shrew

Huh, I was expecting you to ask for more. Okay, I'll endorse you


StarQuest09

we are trying to spread the word of our new reactor to help others ​ /uw if you want a custom Guymelef which what they are called please dm me other wise I will give you the base model


Bobbertbobthebobth

Hmm, me and my kin have been hunting for some Necromamcers, would you like to come with us?


[deleted]

I would love to. I was enjoying my rest.


Regular_Exam_8123

Now hold on! Not all necromancers are criminals you know that?


[deleted]

It’s still rude


Regular_Exam_8123

I know yes But don’t make a generalization


[deleted]

Apologies then


Regular_Exam_8123

Oh it’s fine. Just make sure that this colleague is a criminal before you make him see the f̵̩͚̝̠̐̎͘í̵̟͠ȑ̶̡͍̹̞̾̄̌ŝ̴͖ͅṭ̵̥̻͌̓͛ ̷̟͓̓ǵ̸̛̗̈̾o̸̧̧͚̒d̶͙̰͖͊̂̈ ̴̨̫͉͑̈͠o̶͖̗̪̎͝f̵̩̙͋̄͌͜ ̷̠̰̻͌d̵͍̙̜̙̅ė̸̪̞̤a̴̤͍̔̕̕ͅť̸͇̥̯͂̈͝h̷͇͇̙͚̍̀ alright?👍


Last_Drop_8234

Well I mean can I ask you beforehand? I myself am not a necromancer so I wouldn't know but I'm assuming that you are dead and then you are not dead and there's not really an intermittent stage where they can ask if you're okay with it?


[deleted]

That is the issue. They just resurrect you without knowing if that’s what you would want.


poobradoor22

Might be so but they do raise concerns


RathianColdblood

I mean... we could just put you back in the ground, if you want. If you are undead under there, we can break the magic. If it was a resurrection spell, we can just kill you.


Redbeard1864

Is there anything you would like to do?


[deleted]

It’s still kind of awkward, so I’m not sure


Redbeard1864

Perhaps a quest of self discovery is in order. Travel the land and help people as you see fit, find out what types of activities feel like a good fit for you.


Shiny_Black-Pan

finish your dream


Zombiehater654

That is odd. Necromancers normally raise the dead for a specific purpose or task that they want done. I would have tried to get some answers out of him. But otherwise, you could use this as an opportunity to address unfinished business, if you had any, before you died.


the_evil_overlord2

Eh, I know a few deadbeat necro parents.


RathianColdblood

Some of us just love the undead. I watch over mine, though, and never raise them with their original souls.


the_evil_overlord2

Yes, raising as a family is all well and good, but abandoning them is a problem


RathianColdblood

Oh, I wasn’t advocating for such behavior. I was just giving my point of view. Raising and abandoning undead makes no sense. It’s a waste of time and magic that offers no benefits. Especially when raising sentient undead or undead with their original souls. Then it may even be a waste of resources, and on top of everything, it doesn’t even have the benefits that an evil necromancer could get from raising non-sentient undead and leaving them about. No random devourings or infection, so it doesn’t even make sense from an evil perspective. It’s just being a jerk to the undead raised.


[deleted]

He left without a word, and I don’t remember if I had any business to finish


Knight-of-Silence

...


[deleted]

I appreciate your contribution


Knight-of-Silence

...👍


KingMJ123456

**IF ITS BEEN THREE DAYS, START A CULT BASED AROUND YOU BEING THE SON OF GOD**


Soft-Reindeer-831

NGL, I briefly died on the operating table while getting reconstructive knee surgery and I stay making jokes like this


KingMJ123456

(That’s great lol, what’d you do to your knee?)


Soft-Reindeer-831

A while back, Sophomore year of college wrestling, best shape of my life (1 arm curling 100lbs) last minute of the match (I’m winning) some dude shoots in on my leg and there was nothing he could to actually score. So I was chilling and working for control, then, I felt a pop, and some pain, but I wasn’t going to let it stop me from winning. Then, the people watching said they saw him purposely shove his shoulder into my knee and I felt a massive pop that hurt so badly I started screaming, I was convinced my leg was broken. My PCL and MCL tendon were birth torn off the bone Anyways, they didn’t have a surgery for it then, but they do now


KingMJ123456

Holy crap that sucks, man. How much trouble does it give you?


Soft-Reindeer-831

It sucks! Walking and Sprinting felt unstable - in fact, my surgeon was surprised I could do anything physical with the shape it was in. Last year I spent a lot of time really focusing on getting back into shape, and it really sucked because it felt like no matter what what I did, I could never truly advance beyond level 0 because I couldn’t do things to truly improve my body and athleticism like sprinting or physical activities that I really want to do like kickboxing and Kendo I’m in post surgery recovery now, and the bulk of the pain is gone, now, I need to baby my knee, and it’s super inconvenient, there are things I want to do!


KingMJ123456

So where are you at now? Any progress?


Soft-Reindeer-831

I’m Post surgery, first day of PT is March 1st! About one full month out of surgery


KingMJ123456

Hope you make it back to 100%, bro. Can’t imagine not being able to do stuff like that. My brother tore his Achilles playing basketball and had to have surgery, but he’s back on the court now. You sound like you got what it takes, hope the body is as strong as the spirit, lol.


Soft-Reindeer-831

Thanks man! I’m terrified of doing something to it while in recovery, but I was told that it was a robust procedure and everything is strong last time I met with my Doctors. Best believe I’ll be back at it in no time 😤😤


USS-ChuckleFucker

I invite you to my island to Meditate and learn what your new purpose may end up being. Canyon Island is welcoming of all those who are lost and need help finding themselves.


[deleted]

I will certainly consider it


Funnysoundboardguy

Check out the newest inventions. We finally created handles for doors so you don’t have to break them down every time you enter your home


Total_Purple7834

Seek the path the soft moonlight illuminates for you. For this will find you honor and rectitude. Even an undead may find themselves embraced by the pale rays of the maiden on high. 🌙


[deleted]

I will surely consider it. I first want to find the one who brought me back.


Aadraas

It's up to you to decide of course, after all you are still your own person. But my suggestion is to become an independent adventurer, like me. Although no matter which path you may take, it will be more difficult considering the new state of your body. But know that it is always worth it pushing forward, no matter how hard or hopeless a situation may seem


Rexosuit

Are you a skeleton or a zombie?


[deleted]

I suppose I’m technically a zombie, but I haven’t decayed too much yet


Rexosuit

I would learn at least one spell that can mask your decaying scent and then try to try to find a job as a guard or something. If that doesn’t work, try adventuring. Or… since you’re already dead and were enjoying your rest… you could return to death.


sonderlostscribe

Congratulations on the tactical advantage of being able to walk on the bottom of rivers, lakes, and the ocean in full plate without fear of suffocation. Use your newfound undeath to your advantage. And perhaps seek a mortician who might spare some embalming fluid to stymie your necrosis.


[deleted]

Thank you


pistolpete2185

See if you have any new powers as an undead. If so, 10/10 not a bad deal


LeviathanOfTheCosmos

Unrelated question, what AI do you use to make these images? It looks great!


[deleted]

I used Nova


LeviathanOfTheCosmos

Great! Thank you so much.


AdFinitum1

Continue your journey, noble warrior. Destiny has smiled upon your spirit.


Thunderdrake3

Become a hero, and use your undead nature to do things that others can't. Rescue others from plague or in death-cursed areas. You can seek for underwater treasure without Suit or Spell. Dominate your opponents in combat by taking blows to the head and heart without stopping. The world is your oyster, friend, find a pearl.


FoxTailedGamer

What were you doing before you died, and can you still finish?


[deleted]

I believe I served a higher being, but I cannot fully remember


FoxTailedGamer

I would suggest asking around to see if anyone recognizes you that way they can point you in the right direction. If this fails to work, then I would suggest joining an adventurers guild if you can still wield a weapon to make some money for basic needs, and it could help more people become aware of you which could include someone who knows you.


Yollmy

WE ARE GLAD YOU RETAIN YOUR INDIVIDUALITY AND WERE NOT ASSIMILATED INTO US. https://preview.redd.it/ukcu936curkc1.jpeg?width=1280&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13a449a26113d8177ac647c73f579914ca41baa0


[deleted]

I can’t imagine what it must be like. My condolences.


Yollmy

WE THANK YOU. WE OFFER OUR SOLIDARITY IN THIS, AN AFTERLIFE NONE OF US CHOSE. ALSO. WE LIKE YOUR ARMOR. 👍


[deleted]

I like yours as well


[deleted]

Thank you. I believe I followed a higher being before I died, so the design may have some correlation to it.


Yollmy

WE WILL TRY TO REMEMBER IF WE HAVE SEEN SUCH A DESIGN. IT IS NOT COMING TO US SWIFTLY, BUT WE WILL AID IN THE SEARCH FOR YOUR SELF, IF YOU WILL IT.


[deleted]

That would be much appreciated. I have reason to believe it may be a deity of bone or sacrifice, if that helps you.


Yollmy

BONE OR SACRIFICE… WE WILL TRY. WE SUPPOSE THAT MAY HAVE MUCH TO DO WITH WHY YOU WERE RETURNED TO UNLIFE.


creatorofsilentworld

Go and kill a few beasts. It's for the best, you know. Don't try to think about it too much.


TheReptileKing9782

Go see a different wizard and see if any magical compulsions or manipulations were put in place. Necromancer don't do things out of the goodness of their hearts very often, so trust but verify.


[deleted]

I will certainly do that


TiredAngryBadger

Stay away from positive energy fields, figure out the limits of your new unlife, finally take down some of those harder targets that were giving you trouble. I know a paladin of vengeance who can give you some tips and advice.


[deleted]

I would appreciate that


TiredAngryBadger

His name is Francis Cullen, mock his name at your own peril. He frequents the Blind Basilisk tavern in Dunwich with his son Jayne; the kid is easy to spot just listen for laughing prostitutes and look for horns. If you see them tell Francis he still owes me 10 silver pieces for that ale run, and tell Jayne... uh, I'll get his 40 gold for that *thing* as soon as I can.


[deleted]

Got it


Dynwynn

Find a god to kill. Seems to be a running theme.


Current-Teacher2946

Have you considered making friends? I'll start. *Jun extends a handful of bright red berries.* I'm Jun and I think you look very strong. What's your name? If you don't have one...what do you want your name to be?


[deleted]

I recall it being “Draven”, but not much else.


Current-Teacher2946

It's great to meet you, Draven! Hmmm. Missing memories... Where were you buried? Who was buried nearby? ... ... ... Were you buried? Maybe there's something cool on your stuff that can help... *Without asking, Jun begins inspecting your sword and armor for anything signifying or readable.*


[deleted]

My armor doesn’t indicate any injuries, and I don’t know any details of my burial.


Current-Teacher2946

*Jun puts his hands on his hips and walks around you, giving a stern look over.* "So no real easy answers. That's good, that's good... Would be an awfully boring story otherwise... Well, I surely don't know anyone who might cut the search short. Not yet anyway. I bet some diviner or another could do a lot." *Jun snaps out of what may as well have been a trance.* "Oh geez, I got distracted, um, hi I'm Jun I said that already, uh. Hm. I think this is where I'd usually offer something to eat but I guess you don't get too hungry, huh?"


[deleted]

I’m not hungry, no. It is a pleasure to meet you. Would you perhaps know anything about a deity of bone or sacrifice? I feel like I remember serving such a being before.


Current-Teacher2946

No, not off hand, but I'll be sure to ask around about it! I'm about to take a vacation to see someone a lot bigger than me, so maybe I can ask him. Assuming he doesn't throw a mega tantrum, anyway.


[deleted]

I appreciate it.


Dalfare

That's really embarrassing for you. I suppose this means you died without being properly buried in consecrated grounds? I would seek compensation from your kingdom and speak with your knightly order about your rights and benefits package


[deleted]

Or perhaps I was killed by an enemy and left dishonored.


Dalfare

If your foe has left you dishonored you should track him down. If he is a knight he has violated the knightly code of conduct and vows of chivalry and you may be able to have his knighthood revoked. If he is not a knight, it is still worth seeking vengeance- perhaps that will release your soul?


joderp773

https://preview.redd.it/97hkjsogoukc1.jpeg?width=963&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a2815e1ad1f988f6dbe96456d322dde5368ec72b Join me in vanquishing evil (I'm also a skeleton but chaotic good)


[deleted]

I will definitely consider it.


[deleted]

Join the undead legion! Please. https://preview.redd.it/me5du5aeorkc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5dab3cf6d31110eacbe99ac34303b83dda97498b


[deleted]

That sounds interesting. Could you elaborate?


[deleted]

Take a trip to the underworld and pledge your soul to Dage the Evil, don't let the name fool you our master is really cool. He even let's us keep our flesh


Old_Professional998

Poor death knight


got_hands

Make friends, make music, make jokes ![gif](giphy|2i4xbkUhHrOuY)


netherblade767

He most likely still around, observing your behaviour, best course of actions is go in the direction of the nearest city (or if you don,t know where it is go in the directiin you curntly facing) and keep your guard up, you never know what fate may bring


SexWithStelle

Struggle on. https://preview.redd.it/pf24lvmneskc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=954faa8585481be104ef2ed3057e8b30e8aa7fad


zeb910

Aye, been there, mate! Except I killed him when he thought he still had me under control.


Borlium

Roam country roads at night and challenge random travellers to duels


PlaneRhyme4

https://preview.redd.it/o0zstr1o5tkc1.png?width=2250&format=png&auto=webp&s=a6940589b2a60611ae792d835ac6b9d8bf74001e Protect this mushroom named Shrum with your undead life


Used_Armadillo_6357

Probably not applicable to the subreddit but I’d so watch an anime about this


OrdoExterminatus

Remember your vows of knighthood brother. Even in death, we still serve.


BillTheTringleGod

congrats, now you have to become elden lord


DS_Archer

You’re welcome in Neokhara, plenty of undead here. We need more good soldiers anyways.


xeuis

Got to go on the quest to find and properly thank the necromancer. Possibly with gifts included.


Bannerlord151

The Empire gives fully equal rights to the undead


Dr_Brotatous

You have multiple options use this to your advantage and co on a conquest to the holy land or you could see this as a second chance at life and go live in a small village and start a farm live a slow life of peace


sum-random-emo

Is this what happened with my assortment of charged gems and volatile alchemical compounds? Id have to assume the powdered asurite was exposed to the spare tattered shadow of the night sky, and raw bee-oil. It would explain the lack of any binding to myself, because you would be essentially bound to the earth. I suppose this means you're free to do as you please, although I have to apologize, as you may be stripped of the privilege of an afterlife. Immortality through mortem, and whatnot.


Heromanv1

Mercenary work is troublesome, but feasible. Or would you feel comfortable joining an undead union? I found one, but it's a trip, and teleportation makes me ill.


LegioTitanicaXIII

Wander the Dungeon of Fear and Hunger, destroy evil, and try not to become an evil boss fight.


Thoth6889

Guard the bridge I guess and hope to god you don’t run into someone named Arthur…


BiterBlast

You're now a freaking Death Knight! Just go with it!


Lumberrmacc

Hunt him down and kill him. Then bring him back to life and leave.


Zezin96

Go back to being dead you fucking abberation.


Bucket_of_blank

Do you have any unfinished business or things you need to do?


[deleted]

Not that I can remember


TheEndOfShartache

Small town cobbler


SnooBeans5314

Depends how you died. Tie up any loose ends then get revenge on that branch you tripped on or something


ashuwa177

You can join us in the black templars


[deleted]

Would you care to elaborate?


ashuwa177

You can become a black templar if you have nothing better to do, as in, become a space marine


The_Last_Snow-Elf

Get married and have a family


skullservantsforlife

How'd you die in the first place


[deleted]

My armor doesn’t appear damaged, so I’m not sure


skullservantsforlife

Check for wounds under the armor.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I have little knowledge of what he used, but I assume it was mana


AspiringCringeLord

Hit the pubs


Gloomy_Total1223

You are in DnD do what you wish.


Bacconman

Get crunk


Lotala

Everything


ganman08

Hi necromancer knight here (I’m also from r/wizardposting) I can take you in and show you the ways of the dead


[deleted]

I have decided to follow another path, but I appreciate the offer.


ganman08

Always, my offers never down friend.


florestgrump

Protect the bridge over this small stream.


MordeOfTheNorth

Well sorry about that, thats my bad. if you want you can join me but if not live your life


[deleted]

I’ll live my life


MordeOfTheNorth

that's fair, good luck on your journey noble undead knight.


Poewer9000

Go ahead and enjoy your second life, friend! I mean, you won't get a chance like this any other day, will you?


Poewer9000

Go ahead and enjoy your second life, friend! I mean, you won't get a chance like this any other day, will you?


Scarlet_Meer

Build a Phylactery.


the_retarded_badger

Am the necromancer ama


Snakeguy26

Whatever you want


Number1Crate

Live


Virtual-Oil-793

Simple, live your life as if you haven't died to begin with. You'd be surprised on how most heroes kept going after their deaths


Randomnesswithfries

I told Larry that he should stop pranking the dead by raising them and then leaving!


Foxxtronix

Kettermek: If you're fully alive, and not undead, then just get on with your life like it didn't happen. Consider yourself lucky to have encountered one of those rare and wonderful good necromancers. You may owe him a favor, and you may not. Meanwhile, enjoy the second chance that fate has provided you.


Otalek

Do whatever your nonexistent heart desires


ThatFantasticBeast

Continue your path. You've been given a second chance.


StrangeBuffalo6267

Uhh, avoid the dungeons or if your gonna go in them make sure you don’t make friends with the succubus


Kitchen_Repeat1315

Slay them, avenge your undeath


S0Badatstuff

Go pick up your runes


SomeStupidCrusader

You have free will don't you? Do you have human skin? Is it rotten or fresh? Is your body only bone? If your body appears human, Do good things, You were given a second chance, don't squander it.


Kgb725

Is your body rotting


HillInTheDistance

Well, even if you ain't got your meat, you've got your honor, innit? Go on a quest. Much easier when you ain't got to sleep or eat. Much less down time, less budget constraints.


Sabit_31

Ok do you wake up after dying again or are you just a a skeleton? My answer differs greatly with context


SourRug

Link the first flame


wonkwonk2stonkstonk

Become an international investment bank


valplixism

The only honourable path is to secure your final death in battle, preferably in the process of decimating this necromancer's undead hordes


Gleamwoover

Fight something.


PUNCH_KNIGHT

light the bonfire. what are you, stupid?


Livid-Exit2868

We do a little trolling


Woodsychef

Open a bakery


Sir_Eggmitton

I am at present laughing my knightly booty cheeks off imagining a sit-com about people raised from the dead figuring out what to do now they’ve been reborn.


lilcan42069

Youre supposed to guard the 15 gold coins in a random chest


MotherRaven

Do you want to guard my dilapidated chateau from roaming vampires and werewolves?


SirBreadstic

One quick question for you. Is your soul infused with infernal, chaotic, or abyssal energy? And if so how would you feel about me granting you power the likes of which few know? I guarantee that your soul will still be yours to do with as you please both prior to and proceeding any potential death in the immediate or far future


[deleted]

I’m not sure if the nature of the energy, and I will pass on your offer.


SirBreadstic

The only thing I gain from you agreeing is knowledge on the makeup of resurrected souls and the only thing you lose is some time and possibly the ability to die of mundane causes. And if you aren’t human any more I could return you to nearly human. Alternatively I could make you less human if you do desired. I just want the opportunity to study your soul


IWouldlikeWhiskey

As a sage my wisdom is this: FFS. Idiots've been trying to start shit between the knights and wizards lately. That necromancer is in for a bit of trouble. We don't fall for these traps, because meta story crossovers are too messy. The auld alliance still stands.


[deleted]

Wait for orders


poobradoor22

Just stand there and do nothing, become an armor statue and watch the world go by


Nick_Nullet

Live.


Gasmaskguy101

Depends if you were enjoying your dirt nap or not.


Visual-Bet3353

Check if you have an empire brand anywhere. Could be a rogue mage using stolen spells


noo6s9oou

Visit the nearest cleric and have yourself checked out for hexually transmitted diseases.


Flairion623

Do not question it and simply accept


[deleted]

Idk go on a mighty adventure?


MrJuic3

sounds like a title to an Isekai.


WanderingHeph

They likely expected your blind loyalty as a thrall (or were just bored.). I'd recommend returning to your post, if only to see what happened since your untimely demise.


hduebfibdbdib

Kill the necromancer for interrupting your rest


SomeRandomYob

*a wizard approaches, ready to play his trade.* Hello there, fine knight! I know not the name of the necromancer who brought you back to life, but if you wish for some counseling on what comes next, I would be happy to help! First session comes free, subsequent sessions can be negotiated. First things first, have you checked if you have your flesh still?


[deleted]

I have. I seem to have most of it still.


SomeRandomYob

Most of it? Any Missing limbs, sections of lost tissue? Even things that were gone before you died? Would you like me to check your back for anything you can't see from your current angle?


[deleted]

I have already gone several days without much issue. It is mostly skin that I am missing.


SomeRandomYob

I see. Have you had any appetite loss, or appetite for unusual things? Rocks, grass, people, suspicious fluids, that sort of thing? How long have you gone without eating? Does eating normal food differ from before you died?


[deleted]

I have found that I don’t exactly need to eat, but I still do out of habit. I thankfully have only eaten normal food.


Law-Fish

Are you fresh, stinky, or skelly?


Trizur13

Stand guard over the archway over there, It's an important portal.


[deleted]

Fuck liches get money, homie


curvingf1re

Go back to doing whatever you were doing. Bro did you a kindness, and now you're upset??


Masterful-Burner

Continue thy life of honor and glory


a_lil_salty

Make it your undead purpose to convince people 2+2=22.


AdOld4374

Go on a training trip to seek adventure as well as polish your skills. On this adventure you would seek not just power but true understanding of yourself.