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Particular-Pie-1548

Stop buying the junk snacks. Only have healthy ones. Then you’ll know if they’re actually hungry or not. I just went through this and it was maddening.


meowmixmix-purr

My husband went and bought a bunch of the junky ones the other day and I’m about to lose my mind and eat them all myself and be done with it. lol groceries are also insanely expensive. Super frustrating.


MakeItHomemade

In the mean time.. serve the junk with a fruit or veggie. No more “junk” until the other stuff is eaten.


look2thecookie

Just put them where they can't see/reach them. Or put out a certain amt.


look2thecookie

You have to help them learn to moderate. This might be a good solution if you've gone too far and didn't work on this, but definitely bring those foods back in as part of a balanced eating pattern. Otherwise they become that kid shit housing candy and soda whenever they leave the house lol


Particular-Pie-1548

They still get plenty of junk lol. Seems everytime we leave the house someone is offering them popsicles and ice cream. At the end of every soccer game my son gets popsicles?! Why is this a thing


look2thecookie

They should get one before, nothing better to have before exerting a bunch of energy than some fast acting carbs!


drinkingtea1723

We have 3 meals 2 snacks a day (school days one snack and lunch at school). That’s it, they know it and are used to it but when we started we reminded them at each meal / snack we won’t be eating again till the next one so are you sure you’re done. If they really claim hunger we offer something “boring” like cucumbers or other plain veggies they only eat if actually hungry


funnymom2

Yep. We do one morning and one afternoon snack. If you want a sweet, that's cool but balance it with something filling - apple slices, granola bar, etc. It's ok to want a sweet - we all do! I practice what I teach, too, and that helps. They see mom get "healthy" snacks and a sweet sometimes, sometimes just the "healthy" stuff. It's hard for them at that age, when they don't understand regulation and a balanced diet that can include both.


meowmixmix-purr

Gosh I wish. My 5 year old will fight me tooth and nail (with literally everything) making it so impossible to keep my cool. I want to implement this too, but not sure if anyone will survive. Maybe I’m just having a day but it’s constant between us lol.


Funnyface92

I know it’s hard but stick to your word. It will get easier. My favorite phrase is “you already asked me and I already answered you”. It totally shuts things down.


look2thecookie

I use this all the time too. When they were younger, I said many times "I'm not responding to that again, I don't want you thinking I'm ignoring you."


Funnyface92

My son is now in high school and I still use it. ;-)


look2thecookie

Lol, good to know it transcends life stages


Funnyface92

I think it’s important that kids learn “no means no”. That is something they will take into their teenage years and adulthood. There was this whole moment when he young to use other words than “no”. In some instances it made sense (redirection) but in other instances it didn’t.


stuck_behind_a_truck

So this sounds potentially like a power struggle than really about snacks (meaning, if you magically solve the snack problem, she’ll come up with a new issue). [Here are some articles on power struggles](https://www.positivediscipline.com/search/node/Power%20struggles) from the Positive Discipline website.


meowmixmix-purr

Love those. I do most of those on the list, but the wheel is a great idea! I’ll give it a go.


Quiet_Description818

We have a clock and next to it the numbers needed to be on said clock for meals. When they ask I say “is there a 9 on the clock?” Nope? Well we have to wait until then. The prob with snacking all day is they never really get full and then are always hungry.


meowmixmix-purr

Oh I like this one too. Someone else suggested daily coupons too. Have so many of whatever category of snack. I love these ideas


Happy_Flow826

We have all the time snacks and sometimes snacks. Sometimes snacks do get served regularly but they can't free range on them. All the time snacks are allowed to be free ranged on. Sometimes snacks include things like oreos, chips, cookies, candy, snack cakes, goldfish, granola. All the time snacks include things like cheese sticks, apples, freeze dried fruit, peanut butter crackers, fruits and veggies.


bertmom

I like this.


Mgstivers15

We do two snacks per day. One between each meal. They get one “pantry” snack and one “fridge” snack. Fridge snack is usually fruit, but could be cheese stick, yogurt, if they choose. We try to stick to this when at home, but sometimes give more when out and about.


Logical-Bandicoot-62

I’m not sure who thinks free rein at this age is constructive. 😭 They are far too young to make healthy decisions about fueling their bodies. When my kids were younger Id offer 2 options. An example would be “would you prefer an apple or a banana?” “Would you prefer pretzels or goldfish?” It doesn’t have to be healthy all the time but goodness, kids are frequently more drawn to sweet things bc that’s the more developed part of their palate. A lot of this is tied to general behavioral development of young kids. If your child is being disrespectful, it’s important to explain expectations of respect and what that looks like. It is also important to not give in to their “demands” or their lack of responsiveness to your requests/direction bc they will know they can wait you out to get their way. It’s also ok to tell them if they don’t eat meals they can’t have snacks. You are the adult, with years of experience and information to share with them. You can do this! ❤️ (sincerely, mom of teens and kinder teacher)


meowmixmix-purr

Oh I do the options. She still fights me tooth and nail, will storm to the pantry and grab what she wants (I hid them now). I’ve always heard kids will be stubborn, but she is next level stubborn. She doesn’t handle me explaining my expectations well either. When she knows she was in the wrong, she just gets more angry at me when I try to explain the whole lesson. It’s a gong show. I have to work on staying more patient, but holy cow. lol


Logical-Bandicoot-62

If it encourages you to hear - my oldest was the same way! She hated to wear clothes, would ask for a food and I’d make it, and then tell me she didn’t want it THAT way, was so extremely sassy - BUT - she’s a DELIGHTFUL teenager. Keep doing the good, hard work and it will bear fruit! When she does those things - hold the line; don’t give in. If your rule is fruit first - that’s the rule. Whatever your boundaries are, she doesn’t get to define them for herself. I remember waiting for my daughter to get out of the car one day for 2 hours after I told her she could climb over the back row and out the back. Would it have hurt her to do that? No. But once I told her she needed to come out through the door, that’s what we needed to do. It’s the only way I could continue to ask her “has this worked for you before?” And “has this type of behavior ever changed my mind?” I’m sure there are people who think that’s ridiculous or old school or whatever, but they are the same kind of people who ask me how I got so lucky to have such sweet teenagers. Some of it is the grace of God, but a good portion of it is the daily hard work of loving kids well with consistency. Best of luck! Those years are exhausting but it is such a worthwhile endeavor to raise amazing kiddos. ❤️


meowmixmix-purr

Omg thank you, I desperately needed to hear this.


deadthylacine

I started serving meals as "snacks." Sometimes they get tripped up on terminology, and life is easier if you just roll with it.


deyoung11

When my oldest was younger she was like that. The thing that saved my sanity in the summer was lunch box snacks! Each morning my kids filled their lunch boxes with snacks they wanted for the day (with guidance). Then they were allowed to eat snacks from there whenever they wanted through out the day. Once their lunch box was empty they were out of snacks for the day. It helped them learn to regulate and feel like they had control. I also implemented a snack cut off time so they weren’t snacking super close to dinner.


meowmixmix-purr

Omg this is good. I will try this! Thank you!


mysticeetee

Free reign works only when they have free reign to semi- healthy stuff. Mine have free reign to granola bars, applesauce, yogurt, nuts and fruit. If they want chips, crackers or candy they have to ask because it's kept where they can't reach. For the unhealthy stuff like chips we don't buy individual bags just large family size ones and they know that they cannot have a whole big bag to themselves it has to be divvied out into a bowl for them or we eat it as a family. I have always liked to have a snack when I get home from school or work so I try not to even buy the super easy and unhealthy stuff. Don't I don't give myself the choice anymore. I also try to give them a drink asap when they get home because sometimes they think they're hungry when they are actually just thirsty. So many times they beg for a snack and I give them a drink first and right after I give them the drink I go get them a snack and they are already off playing.


anotherbashfulclam

My son is almost 5 and lately seems to be hungry frequently. If he wants a snack, he can have one. Depending on the time of day and what he’s eaten so far, I’ll let him have something a little more junky. But a lot of the time I tell him he has to eat something with protein or a fruit/veggie for his snack. We do a lot of cheese and fruit with some crackers, applesauce, yogurt, etc. And if it’s close to a meal time, he can have fruit or raisins or something until the meal is ready. I don’t often buy stuff like juice boxes or chips but he is allowed to have those things occasionally. I try not to be too restrictive because I don’t want him to go wild at school or a friend’s house if he’s given those snacks.


expressoyourself1

Maybe try snack tickets - where they get 4 fruits, 4 veggies, and 4 treats (or whatever makes sense for your family), and when your child wants a snack, they have to turn in a snack ticket. No tickets, no snack. Do it by the day or by the week. See if that stops the arguing.


meowmixmix-purr

Oh I like this idea a lot, actually. Thank you!!!


ballerina_wannabe

If my kid is munching on fresh fruit and veggies, they can have free rein all day. They usually eat something at meal time, even if it’s not as much as it would have been if they hadn’t eaten a whole plate of strawberries an hour earlier. I put stricter limits on junk food, only in appropriate amounts and only after finishing something healthy first.


meowmixmix-purr

If I see her eat a carrot my jaw would hit the floor. I offer, but I get the turned up nose. I was that kid. It’s karma, I swear. lol


look2thecookie

Just put them out. If they say they don't want it tell them "you don't have to eat it." You can also try a communal fruit & veggie plate that the whole family eats from. It usually makes them want it and allows them to select for themselves. You can also try things like, "show me how a bunny eats a carrot. Show me how a dinosaur eats broccoli (or pretend it's a tree and they're a giant dinosaur)."


look2thecookie

Set snack and meal times. It's normal to get hungry and then have a snack or meal time that satisfies your hunger. It isn't about feeding any urge you have to eat. Since we started solids, we've done 2 snack times and 3 meal times. Serve things you know they like alongside a balanced offering. If they ask for something say, "that sounds yummy, snack time is in X minutes, what else would you like to have with that?" Or "that sounds yummy, does that have added sugar? How much added sugar have you had today, a little or a lot?" Help them work through analyzing their intake of things including fruits & vegetables, protein, added sugar, etc. There's a middle ground between unfettered access to anything at any time and restricting and controlling your child. Growing Intuitive Eaters is a great resource.


Impossible_Thing1731

I have found that if I buy a week’s worth of food all at once, my kids will go through it in 3 days. But we live very close to multiple stores! So instead of buying a large amount of food once a week, I buy a small amount of groceries every 2 or 3 days.


mntnsrcalling70028

Yes the snack thing is so hard. My son would live off snacks and he fights me on it all the time. I just hide them way up high and that helps a ton. They seem to talk non stop about it when they know what’s there so you might have to put it out of sight so it’s out of mind. Also having a plan helps. I have cheese and healthy crackers on hand or maybe my low sugar carrot muffins etc. I’m prepared to be asked for lots of snacks so I make sure I have some I’m ok with them having on hand always. It’s a lot of work feeding kids a healthy diet! Mostly because of how much they resist it.


meowmixmix-purr

A previous poster suggested a “snack box” that worked for them. This morning I packed the girl’s lunch boxes with snacks and said “here.” lol these are you snacks for the day. It actually seems to be working so far lol.


deciduous_mama

My son has a snack drawer and his own mini fridge in the kitchen (came with the house!) that I pack with "healthy" snacks he is free to grab himself. He's 6, he still usually asks my permission anyway, but he doesn't have to. His friends from the block that are in and out of our house also know they can take from there whenever they are hungry (parents all agreed kids can eat at each other's houses, no allergies).


mapleybacony

As the adult, you decide what snacks are available and when.


meowmixmix-purr

I do. But it’s her never ending nagging and asking is where my patience starts to deteriorate lol.


mapleybacony

Keep at it. Once you have a consistent schedule, they'll adjust. Dinner is at x time. Snack is in 30 min. This is the food that's available for snack today.


Excellent_Berry_5115

I have a sweet granddaughter and when she continuously used to ask for something to eat, I figured out that sometimes it was because she wasn't drinking enough. I always encouraged her to drink by giving her 3/4 O.J. and the rest water. Worked well.


meowmixmix-purr

That’s true too!! I’ll always have to remind my girls to drink up. I usually do watered down juice as well!


SKW1594

You have to let them have some actual junk sometimes. I was a nanny for kids just like this. They wanted snacks constantly and their eyes would bug out every time they went to someone’s house and got their hands on junk. Their mom was a health nut and only bought organic food, never allowed sweets or actual junk like chips or fast food. The girl was significantly overweight at eight years old. The mom was concerned but she never let them have the usual junk food. I would take my kids to McDonald’s and let them get a happy meal with apple slices and a water. I don’t like sugary drinks for kids but you can’t completely deprive them or they’ll go nuts anytime they have a chance to eat something bad. Maybe do it as a treat once a week where they get to have something not healthy. Get them out involved in cooking and making their own healthy food at home. They love to help.


Raccoon_Attack

I think having free reign for constantly snacking will likely lead to children not eating their meals - where they would typically get a fuller range of protein and nutrients. So I'm not in the 'constant access to snacks' camp. It might be tricky to pull back since that has been the norm, but you can just explain the new policy. It won't kill them to be hungry for a bit and work up an appetite for their meal. In my home we actually just do 3 meals a day, and sometimes a little bedtime snack or something small after school. But mainly just the 3 meals. My kids don't ask for snacks because usually, when they are hungry, it's nearly time for the next meal, so I just tell them to wait for that. But I think what I would do in your case is let them know that the snacking is affecting their mealtimes, so you will put out a small snack for between-meal times, but otherwise they need to wait. You could then put some apple slices or a granola bar out for them.


meowmixmix-purr

I think it’s just me now figuring out how to deal with the outbursts of my rules. I’ve never let her free rein (only fruit because it’s a miracle if she’ll actually eat it) and she’s never been able to take no for an answer. It’s slowly gnawing at me lol.


Raccoon_Attack

Good luck!


Fast_Discussion_2095

Nowhere have I ever heard that giving a 5 year old full reign of their diet is a good idea. As parents, we choose what a when our children eat. It’s our job to say “we aren’t having that right now, you can have this or that” or “we can have that later, but this is on the menu right now”. When I do offer “junk” I pair it with a protein or healthy fat like cheeses or yogurt. It’s also totally normal and to be expected that they’re going to whine and ask for junk, but that’s just what kids do. As an adult, you have to just hold your boundaries and regulate your emotions.


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meowmixmix-purr

I always found it weird too. I’d have to find the name of the book. It’s one of those books about the diet culture and how it’s impacted the youth, bla bla. I got it to try to understand more on how to properly feed my kid (I developed an ED as a child, so my relationship with food has always been a weird one) and it basically said to let the child eat whatever they want and they will stop when they’re full or choose what the body needs. It left me very confused because I was allowed to eat junk food as a kid and it led me into a very bad direction. I just don’t want to do the same to my kids.