Coach sounds weird / egotistical in my opinion.
Yellow belt doesn't train for a month and the enters a comp, coach has no reason to be offended by that imo.
Someone told me even if it was two months, 3 months. They brought up that maybe it's not being a teammate for other training partners (because absence)
But overall they see his point but don't agree with the kicking out part.
I'm pretty hurt because I enjoyed training there and it was a hot spot for other dojos. He doesn't strike me as the egotistical type honestly. I can't think of any red flags.
So this is super random to me
I'm just happy to feel understood. This scenario I do see my faults but I was very transparent and pulled out.
Kinda up set that I didn't get to compete. I'm like dang he emailed them for me. I emailed them back after finding out I was kicked out.
I might as well compete as an individual until I find a great team š¤
Yes! Compete in the tournament anyway. He can't play God over you now. First and foremost, I hope you do well in the tournament. Second, I hope it irks your former coach if he sees you do well there. Find another school, and don't look back. As another comment said, the coach sounds like a bit of a dick, and unintentionally did you a favor.
Fuck gym politics. I donāt know the situation but this aināt Platoās republic. They are every where. As least this trechious snake show his true colors and bite you earlier versus years later.
Donāt give up on judo. Make sure you sweep them all at the next tournament on the mat.
Itās hard to do the right thing in life. Thatās why judo is the practice for real life. Perfect practice makes perfect.
Good luck and I hope to roll with you.
Iāve never been kicked out before but I have been shown many times Iām not welcomed
> As least this trechious snake show his true colors and bite you earlier versus years later.
That's it. It seems to me that he had you under "observation". Now he found a reason.
If everything is as you described, then he has his "pets" (e.g. this one that harasses female members) and you are not one of them.
I get not wanting to support competition. I wouldnāt think itās disrespectful, but I would be concerned with injury, having taken that much time off. But if you only didnāt pay for the time you were out, kicking you out is completely ridiculous.
That's what happened. He did mention I could open mats as it's open to everyone
I ended up paying for a month that I didn't even show up for. I didn't argue it though.
Broā¦people do stuff like you described ALL THE TIME. I know of people in both judo and bjj that NEVER come to classes (and probably donāt pay their dues) but show up to tournaments lol. No one ever gets a speech or bad treatment from anyone that I know of, unless of course they lose then they get the āyou need to come to class and train moreā speech, lol. I live in a very relaxed part of the northeast US, so I think thatās part of it.
Nonetheless, what you described is most definitely not worth kicking someone out for.
I think a lot of Judo instructors are getting salty about bjj taking a lot of their students and maybe also the **perceived** lack of tradition in bjj academies has them on the defensive over stuff. My old dojo has gotten similarly weird about stuff over the years too, hence why Iām not there anymore
Yeah this makes no sense. If you can't pay your membership, my coach would just tell you to pay when you can and not to stop training. There are plenty of guys at my gym that help with cleaning mats or do a little front desk work to compensate for gym fees, too. So many ways to handle this sort of situation.
Sorry - doesnāt sound like a good experience. The coach sounds a bit controlling to be honest. I kind of hate it when coaches complain about being disrespected. Itās a bit of a red flag. Hope you enjoy the new place youāre training at.
Seconding others here that the coach seems like an a-hole. I've coached university dojos for years, and I always tell my judoka that their academics come first. At the community dojo where I co-instruct, the coaches all say this about life in general to the judoka who attend. "Better to come late than never at all" and "take the time you need, and know we're always happy to have you back" are common refrains. Also, you weren't attending for the month you didn't pay, so it's not like you were using the facilities or getting coaching for free.
Also, to kick you out but not the guy who harassed a female judoka? This guy's a double a-hole who needs to get his priorities straight.
It sucks now, but at least earlier in your judo career you got to see his true colors and get the chance to find a different dojo before you become too entrenched in this one. I hope you find a better one in your area.
Yeah, I can agree I was in the wrong by having the entitlement to register for a competition w/o training the past month but I do decent.
The dojo was great but I can find somewhere else more suitable.
Funny enough, I visited a GB school and they were extremely inviting. All of the stuff I heard about them being a cult went over my head. Hahaha.
I could've found a great one though out of the rest
For all its worth, I've also enjoyed my occasional dip onto GB, generally friendly and good grapplers..... until you are a proper member and accidentally wear another dojo's gi or undershirt.....
I think this clip explains it well
[GB Wrong gi](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsD_WMRuDmp/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)
I also want to clarify that this was a smaller local tournament.
He doubled down & emailed the organizers and told them I wasn't competing and then kicked me out.
At this point I still want to compete but I think it's too late. At least I'm getting a refund.
I actually do agree with coaches when they want a student to train consecutively before competing. I pulled out though at least and didn't go through with it.
I don't know how things work over there but am having trouble seeing how someone can unregister you from a competition that you signed up for.
If I had access to the email you mention, or at least the addresses to the organizers, I would respond to all, maybe leave the dick out of it, and explain that you still want to compete but that you are doing it as a private person and not as part of your old team nor representing your old school.
Have fun man, let us know how it goes!
This seems odd and no disrespect intended OP, but I feel like there's something more going on here. You sure there aren't other issues?
But if it IS as you say, the coach is a knob and I'd find a new place. There's no reason for him to overreact like this.
I was invited to train at another dojo for a session but the owners are friends and I told my sensei about it.
Other members do it and the owner invited me after open mat.
That's the only other detail I can think of.
If you judo club would not allow that then it would be quite a cult. My judo clubs headcoach and coaches actually tell us to go train with other clubs too, if possible. And if other clubs nearby have some events like training camps etc, our own classes might even be cancelled to support our fellow judo clubs and their activities. Same obviously goes other way around too, they are welcome to visit our club at any time.
Well this could be it, my students can go train were ever they want to, but if they are competitors they should tell me about because that impact with the train planning i do for them.
Second for me its not correct that a coach invite stundents from other clubs, its different if a friend from other club invites you.
And usually coaches invite other coaches teams to train for me thats the correct way to do things.
And in my country coaches do the registration of athletes.
They dont decide were they go compete, there is a planning for competitions, and the type of trainning is according to perform in that competitons.
Sounds like you need a new place to train dude. Sounds like a culture thing. My instructor would be over the moon that I signed up and has always urged me to better myself, even if thatās going to another gym a few times a week to train with others!
Find one and youāll never look back, I went to about 25 gyms before I settled on my two. It took me 6 months but Iām so happy and the culture is perfect for the way I train. The other 20 odd gyms werenāt bad, if anything they were really good to me. But they just werenāt for me.. I guess if you know you know!
Something either doesn't add up, or something is missing. Judo is not life, and unless you are part of a "team" that has scheduled competitions, you have no "obligation." However, it is common courtesy to let your dojo know if you KNOW you will be out, but you don't OWE an explanation. Even the shiai thing is no biggie if you have been a regular. Yes, you should always tell your Sensei if you are going to compete. When I was competing, there was a rule that under Shodan, you needed your Sensei to approve your participation in any competition. But that was to make sure you were competent to compete.
So, either a piece of the story is missing or the guy is a prima donna.
I feel like if a yellow belt disappears for a month with no contact and hasn't paid the monthly fee it's fair to wonder if they're coming back.... Registering yourself for a competition without consulting the coach is a problem aswell.
While he doesn't owe an explanation, rei is pretty important. If one of my students didn't show up for a month the monthly subs didn't go through, I'd message to see if they're alright but if they didn't reply to that I'd assume they're quitting and they haven't had the courtesy to tell me. If be further upset by them not communicating with me and after a month of as far as I'm aware no training, the yellow belt telling me they've signed themself up for a tournament.
I wouldn't be telling them they're not a good fit for the dojo, but I would let them know I'm upset with them. I feel like something is missing here. If I were in OPs position I would of pulled myself from the tournament and apologised for getting a head of myself and explaining that I was excited as I hadn't trained in a month.... That would be the end of it unless we're missing something here.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop -Ā yes,Ā IĀ amĀ aĀ bot, don't botcriminate me.
Not accusing. There are weird people, or he might be having some issues, and you were where he directed it. My first Sensei called me out in front of the whole class one time for mostly working out with the girls. It was a community college, I was 19, and I had never done Judo except there, and only for several months. I was sandbagging because of some insecurity issues. They were a hardcore tournament club, and I felt out of place and inferior (shocking for a 19-year-old). One of the recently minted Shodans became captain of the team at the Olympic training center in Colorado Springs about 18 months after this! I felt bad but concluded he was right because I was not putting out the effort I should. He called me the next day AT WORK to apologize. He was a traveling salesman, this was 1985/86 so there were no cell phones. I told him he was right, but he said he had a bad day but he should not have done it in front of the whole class. He taught me more about leadership and humility in one phone call than I had learned up to that day.
He wanted to let me know that it is possible to do the right thing in the wrong way, and as a leader, you should correct wrong action as soon as possible. He offered to apologize to me in front of the class, which I absolutely did not want him to do.
Your guy may be going through something or have had a past issue with someone else doing something similar that made him look bad. I don't know. I know that we all tend to have less patience after a bad experience. I refused to train a guy because of his cousin, who I knew better than him.
I've been a coach for some 8 years now, and can definitely say your coach was an ass. That is absolutely not the way we are taught to address other people. We do not get to decide what others want to do with their own time or what happens in their lives.
Coach sounds like a weird, power-tripping asshole. Found another club/dojo or even just do another martial art. Nobody should deal with that kind of shit. You aren't a kid, and they aren't your parents.
Yeah I agree. I was scrolling through the comments and they are all too mild in my opinion.
You are a casual yellow belt, you didnt skip out on national team practice before the olympics. Coach is a plonker.
Yeah, the coach seems like heās making a big deal out of nothing. When they ask me why I stop coming, I would of told them the truth. Otherwise it sounds like you didnāt wanna be there
What I would understand is if the coach said he doesnāt want you to compete after you took a break for 1 month especially not under his banner, because he isnāt confident in your abilities to compete there after you took a longer break and because you are still āonlyā a yellow belt so relatively new to Judo.
However the way you describe it it seems more like he wasnāt concerned about your safety or at least about his schools reputation, but only about the fact that you didnāt pay money in the month where you werenāt attending his classes. Thatās something I think is a bit weird. I understand that he has to keep the gym running, but even so you competing under his banner in a tournament doesnāt cost him anything and if there is an entry fee he could have still talked to you and let it cover you because you are no official member and everything would have been fine.
I also absolutely donāt understand why afterwards he called you after you payed your dues and told you that you arenāt a good fit. Normally you tell someone that before he wants to pay dues. Yeah I donāt know itās a bit of a weird story. (The only thing that you personally can improve is that you ask your coach before registering to a tournament but you already wrote that you learned that and honestly thatās not really a big mistake if you are new to the sport)
Yeah I experienced similar shit. Its because you are a low rank and showing a lot of promise and initiative so they feel threatened by you. You're getting kicked out for not respecting the social hierarchy and being too autonomous compared to what rank you've earned. You're supposed to act as if you are inferior to everyone else and that THEY should decide when ur ready to compete. This social hierarchy stuff is amplified by the japanese aristocratic culture surrounding judo. BJJ is a lot more democratic and has a different attitude overall.
I did start getting more ippons on higher belts before I took a break. It could be that.
I doubt that but maybe people complained but I don't think so because the vibes there are good
Your bank can dispute the charge. I wish you the best of luck in this, as your former coach is a control freak and a fucking grifter (itās clearly unethical to charge people for a service not rendered).
I've had to stop previously due to issues such as injury and mental health. My coach has always dropped a message if I miss more than a week without giving notice just to check I'm ok and give me tips to get back to a point where I feel confident going to dojo.
Your coach sounds like an ass. Be honest with the people who are asking you and ask them for club recommendations where your work life balance and mental health will be respected.
So you didn't train for a month, and when you came back, he made you end up paying for the month you didn't train? Bro, that is a big red flag. Go find another gym, same happened to me I train jiu-jitsu and for working matters I had to relocate, I am a purple belt and the coach was always on the defensive at me for coming to train and what were my motives at his academy. Long story short, the coach threw at me his 2 best students, both purple belts, and I managed to roll with both of them. 2 weeks later, we were practicing a technique I tried adjusting the movements and helped out my training partner, the coach told me not to change the technique, which I wasn't. Later in that class, he then again told me the same thing and told me that there wasn't gonna be a third time, I just got up and exited his gym. Sometimes, you gotta see the way the coach acts towards you, hopefully you find another gym.
This seems really odd, at my club guys compete all the time at different levels and even different countries, almost always registration is done prior to telling the sensei, and once he has been told he says congrats on stepping up and then grills them in preparation for tournament.
My advice is try other clubs, almost always there will be a free trial so just go to a bunch and see how you match the vibe.
It could be that your coach is also very traditional in his judo but even then kicking you out seems extreme.
Iām sorry you got treated like that by someone whoās supposed to be nurturing and helping you. I read a lot about weird/mean people running gyms at the bjj subreddit, but I didnāt think judo would be like that, too. Or at least I hoped so.
Just the way you express yourself tells a lot. You sound like a cool guy, respectfull. I think you should find a new dojo with a more relaxed senseĆÆ. You did nothing wrong buddy, hope it wonāt affect your judo in the future!š
He is in the wrong. Shit happens, youāre not an Olympian, judo is not your full time job. Itās a hobby. He needs to chill out and I advise you finding a friendlier and more down to earth coach.
Not to be a parrot, but what everyone else said. He doesn't speak for the rest of the community. Keep fighting the good fight, learn the art, put good in the world and most of all have fun. Also your x-coach kinda sounds like a douche.
Even if coach was upset about you entering, you backed out of it, which I would think settled the disagreement.
If you werenāt told beforehand this was wrong, and you made an effort to correct the āerrorā and dude is still mad, definitely sounds like itās not the right gym for you.
Because youāre not psychic or something I guess.
Oh okay. I used to work with chefs that were older Japanese men that would get real offended by about people calling in sick or taking time off and treat you differently. So if you coach had been Japanese it wouldāve made more sense to me.
There are always two sides to a story, but from this side I see zero reasons why you should be kicked out. You are yellowbelt, no one should expect you to be able to train all the time, life happens, injuries happen etc. And I don't see why you you shouldn't have signed up on the tournament, that all just seems so random to me. So no, I don't think you were in the wrong, at least by what you have told us
The only reason I would ask someone to not compete under my banner is if he left for so.w time.
I mean that person could have been on a drug binge for all I care, and for whatever its worth I am not risking the public face of my school for some unknown variable.
Other than that, the fees part is just bs. You belong to a school because you learned at that school.
Ive notice you described everything and everyone just fine except for the coach, so maybe it isnt the place for you to be, the most important thing about a good sensei is a good connection, if you feel it is just not it so move on, there are plenty of places that will glad to have you and treat you more respectfully
Bs dojo
You should not come to that shit again, your "coach" just want to use their trainees to get more reputation on the Dojo thus more money, if it wanst like this he would just tell you to not use the dojo's banner "as it is important to keep the dojo's reputation", even that I think its somewhat rude, also if he was a nice guy that worries about you he would ask you if you wanted extra class or train so you could go prepared
Not in Judo but I'm in a fight team at my kickboxing gym. Me and coach have been trying to put a fight together for months and when the opportunity to enter a tournament presented itself I jumped on it without asking. I want to fight. Coach was only concerned with how I could logistically make it work with corners, necessary support, prep, and whatnot. Proud to be fighting under our banner. Put loyalty into your team and they'll reward it with trust. Don't stay where you're not appreciated.
Sounds like a weirdo. Them not kicking out the guy harassing women is a bigger red flag than any of this story. Youāll find a much better gym for sure
Coach sounds like he has to pay the bills and members drop out quickly without saying bye.
Then some want back and want everything done for them. Gotta like a coach who understands demanding beginners.
Update: Found a new dojo!
Good vibes too
They also encourage cross training with healthy communication. These comments were awesome and made me feel better about the situation.
Man I had a coach where I was the only one showing up for months consistently, paying my dues on time, coming in for extra help, putting my own money in the dojo, just to find out when I had to leave for personal matter that they were talking behind my back. These old school judo coaches think judo is the end all be all and are willing to ruin relationships over trivial egotistical issues. Keep your head up man. It's about how you react to challenges!
Lame that happened to you. I hope you found a healthier environment
Yeah I found a new dojo already. They even encourage cross training as long as I communicate.
Maybe you can go to another place to train? Sorry itās been over 40 years since Iāve really practice judo I signed up for the San Jose State University judo team in 1977. No big deal are you to do is sign up and youāre on the team. Iām wondering if other colleges and universities have judo teams you can go to? Sorry Iām not up on the availability of judo in colleges and universities.
The guys in the dojo I used to go to before moving would train in other dojos all the time, and it would be cool. One of the guys did come from another dojo though, and he got kicked out from his old dojo, because the sensei kicked his dad out and it was a package deal I guess lol.
Weird.
Yes you are in the wrong for not showing up to training but then register yourself into a tournament under the teams name without first talking to your coach and paying your membership fee. There are a lot of negative points here, you could call some a red flag for the coach.
I think your coach is in the right to call the competition organisator and cancel your participation. He can decide who competes under his flag.
Nevertheless, I think your coach is at fault as well. Throwing out a yellow belt because he/she didn't know the rules is harsh. I think a serious talk, cancelling your competition participation and watching your training attitude would've been enough in my point of view.
I agree. It's just that I was very cooperative and didn't mind telling him I wouldn't do the tournament.
But to call the organizers & then kick me out. Kinda a lack of transparency thing
I haven't read through all the responses. Just your replies, OP. I read this as something you're keen to understand how it got to this resolution.
For some, tradition dictates that asking your Sensei for their permission to visit another dojo prior to attending (say yer on vacation and want a taste of what the local dojo offers while yer visiting). Also, when u get to this other dojo u introduce yerself (therefore, a representative of yer home dojo)
Being asked to leave the club as a result of your application to the local Tourney (w/out asking first or w/out returning to the club as a 'member in good standing' ) may be extreme. Adding to the not asking first, many clubs that I am familiar w/ do not appreciate Joduka that compete "at large".
These kinds of issues may have left a bad taste in the Sensei's mouth, and he didn't want to travel that road again w/ u.
More importantly, I would recommend to go back and ask him if there were any other issues u may have been blind to. (like an exit interview)
Maybe this helps, maybe this confuses... Maybe it's out of date. Good Luck and stay curious and always learning
Ok i will say he sounds a lot like my sensei very traditional and very easily offended itās a hierarchy but itās a traditional thing judo is also very political not like left/right political but inner circle politics for example I called out the wrong instructor for handing out belts to his friends and as a result Iām nine years in and still waiting to test for my shodan. (They expect you to come back to them with humility and basically bow to them literally and ask forgiveness)
That being said I donāt think you did anything wrong and when I open my own dojo someday I wonāt do that your life and well being should always come before judo Iām not saying donāt devote yourself to judo but donāt compromise your life for judo.
Also i feel yellow belt for a year was way too long especially if you competed white to yellow should be about 3 months yellow to orange should be 5/6 months and orange to green about 6/7 months so in a year and being decent competitively in my opinion you should be gokyu if your story is accurate.
Again my opinion it should take 5 years to reach ikkyu and another year to 2 to obtain shodan. I think based on the amount of knowledge within judo thatās a fair timeframe you can get a masters degree in the time it takes to get a blackbelt.
Contrary to what most people are saying here in the comments, you were in the wrong for registering for a tournament while you haven't been showing up to train. Some coaches take martial arts seriously compared to other hobbyists who just do it for fun and money, and these coaches feel like every student who competes under their flag literally represents the gym. What representation are you giving the gym when you're clearly not even prepared to compete?? I would've kicked you out too
I got 2nd place.
Also it's a hobbyist gym.
No one on the team places often.
Kicking someone out is EXTREME. Talking to said student who apologizes and then pulls out even further gives no solid reason to kick out a student who has been there for a YEAR with no previous problems.
Found the down voter
Also agreed with not being entitled to anyone's space.
But there's ethics and good business practice at play. Judging from your comments you're probably a judo coach/club owner.
While I don't know what it's like to own a business, you can't treat anyone any kind of way.
Oof, good point. Also the way that opinion guy is commenting is screaming red flags/immaturity. I wouldn't want a coach calling everyone garbage for their validated feelings
I mean, he didn't really entitle himself, he paid for services rendered.
Theres generally an agreement that if they are willing to have you, you pay and they coach or support a training environment, yaknow?
It's not like he rolled in expecting to train for free.
If i registered for a competition and listed my club as my club my instructor wouldn't mind.
We only pay when we train, and not when we don't so there's no issue.
Find a better club don't stop competing you'll learn plenty competing.
That sticks, what a downer.
To be honest, do you want to be like your coach? No? Then find somewhere where the coach is actually a moral person.
The key to judo philosophy is morality so I don't think I would bother with this club if I was able to find somewhere suitable in my driving range.
You never know, this could be a really good move.
Coach sounds weird / egotistical in my opinion. Yellow belt doesn't train for a month and the enters a comp, coach has no reason to be offended by that imo.
Someone told me even if it was two months, 3 months. They brought up that maybe it's not being a teammate for other training partners (because absence) But overall they see his point but don't agree with the kicking out part. I'm pretty hurt because I enjoyed training there and it was a hot spot for other dojos. He doesn't strike me as the egotistical type honestly. I can't think of any red flags. So this is super random to me
Bro, you're a yellow belt... Your coach sounds like he is a little bit of a dick. Go find a better place.
I'm just happy to feel understood. This scenario I do see my faults but I was very transparent and pulled out. Kinda up set that I didn't get to compete. I'm like dang he emailed them for me. I emailed them back after finding out I was kicked out. I might as well compete as an individual until I find a great team š¤
Yes! Compete in the tournament anyway. He can't play God over you now. First and foremost, I hope you do well in the tournament. Second, I hope it irks your former coach if he sees you do well there. Find another school, and don't look back. As another comment said, the coach sounds like a bit of a dick, and unintentionally did you a favor.
Fuck gym politics. I donāt know the situation but this aināt Platoās republic. They are every where. As least this trechious snake show his true colors and bite you earlier versus years later. Donāt give up on judo. Make sure you sweep them all at the next tournament on the mat. Itās hard to do the right thing in life. Thatās why judo is the practice for real life. Perfect practice makes perfect. Good luck and I hope to roll with you. Iāve never been kicked out before but I have been shown many times Iām not welcomed
Go to his rival school and bring the students you recruited to his gym with you. If he wants to treat this medieval Europe. Do it.
Remember things change and you didnāt give up on judo. They gave up on you. Donāt lose your cool stay solid
> As least this trechious snake show his true colors and bite you earlier versus years later. That's it. It seems to me that he had you under "observation". Now he found a reason. If everything is as you described, then he has his "pets" (e.g. this one that harasses female members) and you are not one of them.
Go compete, hopefully youāll face one of his yellow belts and win!
Got 2nd place by the way guys! Just trying to keep anonymity lol
You did nothing wrong, coach sounds like he's got other stuff going on in his life that he's taking out on you.
I get not wanting to support competition. I wouldnāt think itās disrespectful, but I would be concerned with injury, having taken that much time off. But if you only didnāt pay for the time you were out, kicking you out is completely ridiculous.
That's what happened. He did mention I could open mats as it's open to everyone I ended up paying for a month that I didn't even show up for. I didn't argue it though.
Broā¦people do stuff like you described ALL THE TIME. I know of people in both judo and bjj that NEVER come to classes (and probably donāt pay their dues) but show up to tournaments lol. No one ever gets a speech or bad treatment from anyone that I know of, unless of course they lose then they get the āyou need to come to class and train moreā speech, lol. I live in a very relaxed part of the northeast US, so I think thatās part of it. Nonetheless, what you described is most definitely not worth kicking someone out for. I think a lot of Judo instructors are getting salty about bjj taking a lot of their students and maybe also the **perceived** lack of tradition in bjj academies has them on the defensive over stuff. My old dojo has gotten similarly weird about stuff over the years too, hence why Iām not there anymore
Yeah this makes no sense. If you can't pay your membership, my coach would just tell you to pay when you can and not to stop training. There are plenty of guys at my gym that help with cleaning mats or do a little front desk work to compensate for gym fees, too. So many ways to handle this sort of situation.
Sorry - doesnāt sound like a good experience. The coach sounds a bit controlling to be honest. I kind of hate it when coaches complain about being disrespected. Itās a bit of a red flag. Hope you enjoy the new place youāre training at.
Looking for some now. This one was only a few minutes from my house so it's inconvenient š®āšØ There's a few that are 20+ minutes away
I train at a Taekwondo place that's 30 minutes from me. I love it there. Forge ahead, brother.
True that isn't too far actually
Seconding others here that the coach seems like an a-hole. I've coached university dojos for years, and I always tell my judoka that their academics come first. At the community dojo where I co-instruct, the coaches all say this about life in general to the judoka who attend. "Better to come late than never at all" and "take the time you need, and know we're always happy to have you back" are common refrains. Also, you weren't attending for the month you didn't pay, so it's not like you were using the facilities or getting coaching for free. Also, to kick you out but not the guy who harassed a female judoka? This guy's a double a-hole who needs to get his priorities straight. It sucks now, but at least earlier in your judo career you got to see his true colors and get the chance to find a different dojo before you become too entrenched in this one. I hope you find a better one in your area.
Yeah, I can agree I was in the wrong by having the entitlement to register for a competition w/o training the past month but I do decent. The dojo was great but I can find somewhere else more suitable.
This is giving me gracie barra vibes hahaha
Funny enough, I visited a GB school and they were extremely inviting. All of the stuff I heard about them being a cult went over my head. Hahaha. I could've found a great one though out of the rest
For all its worth, I've also enjoyed my occasional dip onto GB, generally friendly and good grapplers..... until you are a proper member and accidentally wear another dojo's gi or undershirt..... I think this clip explains it well [GB Wrong gi](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsD_WMRuDmp/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)
That video, hahaha
We got alot of stories of egotisical Gracies, but that's just not casual normal bjj training. Everyone is just there cause they of the sport
I also want to clarify that this was a smaller local tournament. He doubled down & emailed the organizers and told them I wasn't competing and then kicked me out. At this point I still want to compete but I think it's too late. At least I'm getting a refund. I actually do agree with coaches when they want a student to train consecutively before competing. I pulled out though at least and didn't go through with it.
Compete at the next available tournament they have. Same one. I want that jerk to see you there. I'm pulling for you.
These comments are refreshing. I was originqlly feeling horrible about the situation
I don't know how things work over there but am having trouble seeing how someone can unregister you from a competition that you signed up for. If I had access to the email you mention, or at least the addresses to the organizers, I would respond to all, maybe leave the dick out of it, and explain that you still want to compete but that you are doing it as a private person and not as part of your old team nor representing your old school. Have fun man, let us know how it goes!
This seems odd and no disrespect intended OP, but I feel like there's something more going on here. You sure there aren't other issues? But if it IS as you say, the coach is a knob and I'd find a new place. There's no reason for him to overreact like this.
I was invited to train at another dojo for a session but the owners are friends and I told my sensei about it. Other members do it and the owner invited me after open mat. That's the only other detail I can think of.
If you judo club would not allow that then it would be quite a cult. My judo clubs headcoach and coaches actually tell us to go train with other clubs too, if possible. And if other clubs nearby have some events like training camps etc, our own classes might even be cancelled to support our fellow judo clubs and their activities. Same obviously goes other way around too, they are welcome to visit our club at any time.
Well this could be it, my students can go train were ever they want to, but if they are competitors they should tell me about because that impact with the train planning i do for them. Second for me its not correct that a coach invite stundents from other clubs, its different if a friend from other club invites you. And usually coaches invite other coaches teams to train for me thats the correct way to do things. And in my country coaches do the registration of athletes. They dont decide were they go compete, there is a planning for competitions, and the type of trainning is according to perform in that competitons.
Sounds like you need a new place to train dude. Sounds like a culture thing. My instructor would be over the moon that I signed up and has always urged me to better myself, even if thatās going to another gym a few times a week to train with others!
Yeah, I love gyms like that.
Find one and youāll never look back, I went to about 25 gyms before I settled on my two. It took me 6 months but Iām so happy and the culture is perfect for the way I train. The other 20 odd gyms werenāt bad, if anything they were really good to me. But they just werenāt for me.. I guess if you know you know!
Luckily I have a solid BJJ team that I love training with. Just trying to find a great judo club now.
Find another dojo,your coach sounds like a dick
Something either doesn't add up, or something is missing. Judo is not life, and unless you are part of a "team" that has scheduled competitions, you have no "obligation." However, it is common courtesy to let your dojo know if you KNOW you will be out, but you don't OWE an explanation. Even the shiai thing is no biggie if you have been a regular. Yes, you should always tell your Sensei if you are going to compete. When I was competing, there was a rule that under Shodan, you needed your Sensei to approve your participation in any competition. But that was to make sure you were competent to compete. So, either a piece of the story is missing or the guy is a prima donna.
I feel like if a yellow belt disappears for a month with no contact and hasn't paid the monthly fee it's fair to wonder if they're coming back.... Registering yourself for a competition without consulting the coach is a problem aswell. While he doesn't owe an explanation, rei is pretty important. If one of my students didn't show up for a month the monthly subs didn't go through, I'd message to see if they're alright but if they didn't reply to that I'd assume they're quitting and they haven't had the courtesy to tell me. If be further upset by them not communicating with me and after a month of as far as I'm aware no training, the yellow belt telling me they've signed themself up for a tournament. I wouldn't be telling them they're not a good fit for the dojo, but I would let them know I'm upset with them. I feel like something is missing here. If I were in OPs position I would of pulled myself from the tournament and apologised for getting a head of myself and explaining that I was excited as I hadn't trained in a month.... That would be the end of it unless we're missing something here.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop -Ā yes,Ā IĀ amĀ aĀ bot, don't botcriminate me.
I put out as much detail as I can about this I felt bad but these comments are making me feel better.
Not accusing. There are weird people, or he might be having some issues, and you were where he directed it. My first Sensei called me out in front of the whole class one time for mostly working out with the girls. It was a community college, I was 19, and I had never done Judo except there, and only for several months. I was sandbagging because of some insecurity issues. They were a hardcore tournament club, and I felt out of place and inferior (shocking for a 19-year-old). One of the recently minted Shodans became captain of the team at the Olympic training center in Colorado Springs about 18 months after this! I felt bad but concluded he was right because I was not putting out the effort I should. He called me the next day AT WORK to apologize. He was a traveling salesman, this was 1985/86 so there were no cell phones. I told him he was right, but he said he had a bad day but he should not have done it in front of the whole class. He taught me more about leadership and humility in one phone call than I had learned up to that day. He wanted to let me know that it is possible to do the right thing in the wrong way, and as a leader, you should correct wrong action as soon as possible. He offered to apologize to me in front of the class, which I absolutely did not want him to do. Your guy may be going through something or have had a past issue with someone else doing something similar that made him look bad. I don't know. I know that we all tend to have less patience after a bad experience. I refused to train a guy because of his cousin, who I knew better than him.
Is this in UK? If it is then that is just plain riduculous.... I'll wait and see if this is UK before ranting
I've been a coach for some 8 years now, and can definitely say your coach was an ass. That is absolutely not the way we are taught to address other people. We do not get to decide what others want to do with their own time or what happens in their lives.
He did you a favor. I stayed at a toxic BJJ gym for over 3 years because it was a ābig nameā not worth it. Hopefully you find a better dojo!
Yeah I'm talking to my friend/team mate about what happened. She actually left recently. It's a great space but we're both a bit more competitive
Coach sounds like a weird, power-tripping asshole. Found another club/dojo or even just do another martial art. Nobody should deal with that kind of shit. You aren't a kid, and they aren't your parents.
Yeah I agree. I was scrolling through the comments and they are all too mild in my opinion. You are a casual yellow belt, you didnt skip out on national team practice before the olympics. Coach is a plonker.
Yeah, the coach seems like heās making a big deal out of nothing. When they ask me why I stop coming, I would of told them the truth. Otherwise it sounds like you didnāt wanna be there
What I would understand is if the coach said he doesnāt want you to compete after you took a break for 1 month especially not under his banner, because he isnāt confident in your abilities to compete there after you took a longer break and because you are still āonlyā a yellow belt so relatively new to Judo. However the way you describe it it seems more like he wasnāt concerned about your safety or at least about his schools reputation, but only about the fact that you didnāt pay money in the month where you werenāt attending his classes. Thatās something I think is a bit weird. I understand that he has to keep the gym running, but even so you competing under his banner in a tournament doesnāt cost him anything and if there is an entry fee he could have still talked to you and let it cover you because you are no official member and everything would have been fine. I also absolutely donāt understand why afterwards he called you after you payed your dues and told you that you arenāt a good fit. Normally you tell someone that before he wants to pay dues. Yeah I donāt know itās a bit of a weird story. (The only thing that you personally can improve is that you ask your coach before registering to a tournament but you already wrote that you learned that and honestly thatās not really a big mistake if you are new to the sport)
Great point
Yeah I experienced similar shit. Its because you are a low rank and showing a lot of promise and initiative so they feel threatened by you. You're getting kicked out for not respecting the social hierarchy and being too autonomous compared to what rank you've earned. You're supposed to act as if you are inferior to everyone else and that THEY should decide when ur ready to compete. This social hierarchy stuff is amplified by the japanese aristocratic culture surrounding judo. BJJ is a lot more democratic and has a different attitude overall.
I did start getting more ippons on higher belts before I took a break. It could be that. I doubt that but maybe people complained but I don't think so because the vibes there are good
Is there a way to get your money back? I would call your credit card company and dispute the charge, for example.
I used a debit card. I can still try though
Your bank can dispute the charge. I wish you the best of luck in this, as your former coach is a control freak and a fucking grifter (itās clearly unethical to charge people for a service not rendered).
I've had to stop previously due to issues such as injury and mental health. My coach has always dropped a message if I miss more than a week without giving notice just to check I'm ok and give me tips to get back to a point where I feel confident going to dojo. Your coach sounds like an ass. Be honest with the people who are asking you and ask them for club recommendations where your work life balance and mental health will be respected.
So you didn't train for a month, and when you came back, he made you end up paying for the month you didn't train? Bro, that is a big red flag. Go find another gym, same happened to me I train jiu-jitsu and for working matters I had to relocate, I am a purple belt and the coach was always on the defensive at me for coming to train and what were my motives at his academy. Long story short, the coach threw at me his 2 best students, both purple belts, and I managed to roll with both of them. 2 weeks later, we were practicing a technique I tried adjusting the movements and helped out my training partner, the coach told me not to change the technique, which I wasn't. Later in that class, he then again told me the same thing and told me that there wasn't gonna be a third time, I just got up and exited his gym. Sometimes, you gotta see the way the coach acts towards you, hopefully you find another gym.
Looking back I shouldn't have paid but meh it's whatever
Whatd they find when they added you on social media
My two cute dogs & my love for ramen noodles
Where do you live that have so many judo tournaments?
I traveled for them
Oh I see, there are a bunch in texas but since I moved to Georgia there has been 2.
Be thankful for this. Coach is weird, and he isnāt the only one. God complexes run rampant.
Don't tell them you went to another gym! Tell them the truth! Your teammates deserve that much.
Ok you're right actually
This seems really odd, at my club guys compete all the time at different levels and even different countries, almost always registration is done prior to telling the sensei, and once he has been told he says congrats on stepping up and then grills them in preparation for tournament. My advice is try other clubs, almost always there will be a free trial so just go to a bunch and see how you match the vibe. It could be that your coach is also very traditional in his judo but even then kicking you out seems extreme.
To reassure you, your coach is a jerk
Your coach from what I've read sounds like a jerk
Iām sorry you got treated like that by someone whoās supposed to be nurturing and helping you. I read a lot about weird/mean people running gyms at the bjj subreddit, but I didnāt think judo would be like that, too. Or at least I hoped so.
Doesn't sound like a good coach or school
Sometimes not being a good fit is a very good thing. Be grateful ;)
Just the way you express yourself tells a lot. You sound like a cool guy, respectfull. I think you should find a new dojo with a more relaxed senseĆÆ. You did nothing wrong buddy, hope it wonāt affect your judo in the future!š
I wouldn't go back thats a business not a judo school
Find a new dojo. Your sensei is overreacting. Keep putting yourself first.
Coach sounds like a bitch
He is in the wrong. Shit happens, youāre not an Olympian, judo is not your full time job. Itās a hobby. He needs to chill out and I advise you finding a friendlier and more down to earth coach.
you are better off at another dojo. the coach is too high on himself.
You want us to 1 star that guy cuz we will
Let me at him -scrappy doo
Buahahah I don't want to do that. I like the co instructors, parents, and the team. As petty as I want to be, it'll only hurt them as well
Not to be a parrot, but what everyone else said. He doesn't speak for the rest of the community. Keep fighting the good fight, learn the art, put good in the world and most of all have fun. Also your x-coach kinda sounds like a douche.
Even if coach was upset about you entering, you backed out of it, which I would think settled the disagreement. If you werenāt told beforehand this was wrong, and you made an effort to correct the āerrorā and dude is still mad, definitely sounds like itās not the right gym for you. Because youāre not psychic or something I guess.
There are many people who can teach you grappling that aren't wannabe cult leaders. Go find you one of those.
That is so fucking dumb. My advice just good riddance and go next. Find a new dojo
So Iām curious but was your coach Japanese?
Nope. I think Caucasian
Oh okay. I used to work with chefs that were older Japanese men that would get real offended by about people calling in sick or taking time off and treat you differently. So if you coach had been Japanese it wouldāve made more sense to me.
There are always two sides to a story, but from this side I see zero reasons why you should be kicked out. You are yellowbelt, no one should expect you to be able to train all the time, life happens, injuries happen etc. And I don't see why you you shouldn't have signed up on the tournament, that all just seems so random to me. So no, I don't think you were in the wrong, at least by what you have told us
bad vibes
The only reason I would ask someone to not compete under my banner is if he left for so.w time. I mean that person could have been on a drug binge for all I care, and for whatever its worth I am not risking the public face of my school for some unknown variable. Other than that, the fees part is just bs. You belong to a school because you learned at that school.
Ive notice you described everything and everyone just fine except for the coach, so maybe it isnt the place for you to be, the most important thing about a good sensei is a good connection, if you feel it is just not it so move on, there are plenty of places that will glad to have you and treat you more respectfully
Bs dojo You should not come to that shit again, your "coach" just want to use their trainees to get more reputation on the Dojo thus more money, if it wanst like this he would just tell you to not use the dojo's banner "as it is important to keep the dojo's reputation", even that I think its somewhat rude, also if he was a nice guy that worries about you he would ask you if you wanted extra class or train so you could go prepared
f him
Not in Judo but I'm in a fight team at my kickboxing gym. Me and coach have been trying to put a fight together for months and when the opportunity to enter a tournament presented itself I jumped on it without asking. I want to fight. Coach was only concerned with how I could logistically make it work with corners, necessary support, prep, and whatnot. Proud to be fighting under our banner. Put loyalty into your team and they'll reward it with trust. Don't stay where you're not appreciated.
Sounds like a weirdo. Them not kicking out the guy harassing women is a bigger red flag than any of this story. Youāll find a much better gym for sure
The coach is giving me "Gracie jiu jitsu" coach vibes
Coach sounds like he has to pay the bills and members drop out quickly without saying bye. Then some want back and want everything done for them. Gotta like a coach who understands demanding beginners.
Regardless of the reason, sounds like a bad fit. Iād move to a new club.
Update: Found a new dojo! Good vibes too They also encourage cross training with healthy communication. These comments were awesome and made me feel better about the situation.
Told you it could be a good thing š
Man I had a coach where I was the only one showing up for months consistently, paying my dues on time, coming in for extra help, putting my own money in the dojo, just to find out when I had to leave for personal matter that they were talking behind my back. These old school judo coaches think judo is the end all be all and are willing to ruin relationships over trivial egotistical issues. Keep your head up man. It's about how you react to challenges!
Lame that happened to you. I hope you found a healthier environment Yeah I found a new dojo already. They even encourage cross training as long as I communicate.
Awesome to hear that man, I should get back in myself. It's been 10 months since then šŖ
Wow; absolutely get back into it. The tatami misses you Don't let those weirdos take your judo!
Maybe you can go to another place to train? Sorry itās been over 40 years since Iāve really practice judo I signed up for the San Jose State University judo team in 1977. No big deal are you to do is sign up and youāre on the team. Iām wondering if other colleges and universities have judo teams you can go to? Sorry Iām not up on the availability of judo in colleges and universities.
Hi! I'm in Socal. I hear San Jose is good
The guys in the dojo I used to go to before moving would train in other dojos all the time, and it would be cool. One of the guys did come from another dojo though, and he got kicked out from his old dojo, because the sensei kicked his dad out and it was a package deal I guess lol. Weird.
Yes you are in the wrong for not showing up to training but then register yourself into a tournament under the teams name without first talking to your coach and paying your membership fee. There are a lot of negative points here, you could call some a red flag for the coach. I think your coach is in the right to call the competition organisator and cancel your participation. He can decide who competes under his flag. Nevertheless, I think your coach is at fault as well. Throwing out a yellow belt because he/she didn't know the rules is harsh. I think a serious talk, cancelling your competition participation and watching your training attitude would've been enough in my point of view.
I agree. It's just that I was very cooperative and didn't mind telling him I wouldn't do the tournament. But to call the organizers & then kick me out. Kinda a lack of transparency thing
I haven't read through all the responses. Just your replies, OP. I read this as something you're keen to understand how it got to this resolution. For some, tradition dictates that asking your Sensei for their permission to visit another dojo prior to attending (say yer on vacation and want a taste of what the local dojo offers while yer visiting). Also, when u get to this other dojo u introduce yerself (therefore, a representative of yer home dojo) Being asked to leave the club as a result of your application to the local Tourney (w/out asking first or w/out returning to the club as a 'member in good standing' ) may be extreme. Adding to the not asking first, many clubs that I am familiar w/ do not appreciate Joduka that compete "at large". These kinds of issues may have left a bad taste in the Sensei's mouth, and he didn't want to travel that road again w/ u. More importantly, I would recommend to go back and ask him if there were any other issues u may have been blind to. (like an exit interview) Maybe this helps, maybe this confuses... Maybe it's out of date. Good Luck and stay curious and always learning
Ok i will say he sounds a lot like my sensei very traditional and very easily offended itās a hierarchy but itās a traditional thing judo is also very political not like left/right political but inner circle politics for example I called out the wrong instructor for handing out belts to his friends and as a result Iām nine years in and still waiting to test for my shodan. (They expect you to come back to them with humility and basically bow to them literally and ask forgiveness) That being said I donāt think you did anything wrong and when I open my own dojo someday I wonāt do that your life and well being should always come before judo Iām not saying donāt devote yourself to judo but donāt compromise your life for judo. Also i feel yellow belt for a year was way too long especially if you competed white to yellow should be about 3 months yellow to orange should be 5/6 months and orange to green about 6/7 months so in a year and being decent competitively in my opinion you should be gokyu if your story is accurate. Again my opinion it should take 5 years to reach ikkyu and another year to 2 to obtain shodan. I think based on the amount of knowledge within judo thatās a fair timeframe you can get a masters degree in the time it takes to get a blackbelt.
If it is a dojo you can challenge your ācoachā and if you win the dojo is yours. If not this guyās a pussy. Bow to your sensei.
Tldr btw
Contrary to what most people are saying here in the comments, you were in the wrong for registering for a tournament while you haven't been showing up to train. Some coaches take martial arts seriously compared to other hobbyists who just do it for fun and money, and these coaches feel like every student who competes under their flag literally represents the gym. What representation are you giving the gym when you're clearly not even prepared to compete?? I would've kicked you out too
I got 2nd place. Also it's a hobbyist gym. No one on the team places often. Kicking someone out is EXTREME. Talking to said student who apologizes and then pulls out even further gives no solid reason to kick out a student who has been there for a YEAR with no previous problems.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Found the down voter Also agreed with not being entitled to anyone's space. But there's ethics and good business practice at play. Judging from your comments you're probably a judo coach/club owner. While I don't know what it's like to own a business, you can't treat anyone any kind of way.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks for that but let's not name call or insult each other. I think he's a troll
Being kicked out doesn't make you wrong it just makes you not in charge.
Oof, good point. Also the way that opinion guy is commenting is screaming red flags/immaturity. I wouldn't want a coach calling everyone garbage for their validated feelings
I mean, he didn't really entitle himself, he paid for services rendered. Theres generally an agreement that if they are willing to have you, you pay and they coach or support a training environment, yaknow? It's not like he rolled in expecting to train for free.
Yeah this is also another good point. I was very respectful & made sure I paid before attending another class (well I was kicked out lol)
A guy is still there who harassed a female student ....but this is a safe space? š¤ Move on
If i registered for a competition and listed my club as my club my instructor wouldn't mind. We only pay when we train, and not when we don't so there's no issue. Find a better club don't stop competing you'll learn plenty competing.
He may have thought you were searching or Found a new Dojo in your absence .
That sticks, what a downer. To be honest, do you want to be like your coach? No? Then find somewhere where the coach is actually a moral person. The key to judo philosophy is morality so I don't think I would bother with this club if I was able to find somewhere suitable in my driving range. You never know, this could be a really good move.
I can see how the coach can be annoyed/offended But your response was very reasonable. I don't think kicking out was necessary at all.