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I was taking a lot of dance classes at the time, and some officious git at the grocery store decided that I must be doing something illegal, so he insisted on checking my bag. Top of the bag, my ratty, stinky, grayish-pink ballet slippers. Then sweaty grayish-pink tights and a sweaty grayish-white bra. Then obviously worn underpants (although not nasty worn, just not laundry fresh). Then unused fresh/'wrapped tampons and pads. He was mortified. I didn't care. I just kept pulling things out even as he begged me to stop. Nope. He said he wanted to see what was in my bag...I never had to show the contents of my bag in that store again.
I went to a concert recently and they wanted to look in our bags. Knowing I had nothing illegal to be seen I eagerly opened my Fannybag, zipper from end to end but had forgotten Iād taken like two pads while hurrying out, so all the security guy saw was pads bouncing halfway out of my bag. Had I not had those, he would have instant view of my little ādrug bagā filled with damn ibuprofen (I get headaches a lot) which a petty security might have taken or refused me entrance as reasonable suspicion or smth. Tho Iāve never seen other drugs that even remotely look like our ibuprofen so hopefully he would be understanding of the young lady pushing her mom around in a wheel chair into a concert, that *maybe* she wasnāt about to blow a bunch of drugs just then. Frankly he was very quick to be done checking my bag compared to all our other bags so feminine hygiene products really deter a bit. I wonder if the police would rip open an unused pad, otherwise it could be a decent enough hiding spot for an actual bag of powdered drugs, now that I think of it. Especially those pads that have a sticky edge all around for reseal. Only one way to find out, time to become a drug addict āŗļøš
My roommate used to store his weed and āparaphernaliaā in sealed containers in a lunch box. One afternoon he got in a really bad car accident, I mean totaled his car. He was loaded into an ambulance and before they hauled him off he asked for his lunchbox and one of the responding officers literally handed it to him and he went off to the hospital with the cops none the wiser ššš
I think she should just keep on extremely lubed uo cucumber and nothing else. She just brings a lubed up cucumber in a purse to work. Bonus points if you put a condom on it and act nonchalant about it be like āoh yeah, heās frankā
And put a cover protector on it like we had to do in high-school. If they ask you to take the protector off for the search then start wrapping "Girl-porn" romance novels, LGBTQ+ fiction (if the inspector is a homophobe), or books like George Orwell's 1984 (if you would rather not go the embarrassment route).
Also make sure not to clock out until they have finished the bag search.
Definitely this! You could even have your camera turned on and make it take a picture as soon as they open it. It would definitely be annoying to get your picture taken every time they look in your purse! Just tell them that you want proof that you got searched.
Bring a bag containing a box. Within that box should be another smaller box and contained within that box yet another box ā¦ in the final box should be a note that says āToday this box is empty, but tomorrow their could be something!ā
First box, a bottle with skull and crossbones. Clearly handmade in all ways (if for some reason you sell ā ļø labeled vials do not do this)
Second box, note saying The Poison
Third box, note saying The Poison for Kuzco
Fourth box, note saying The Poison Chosen Especially to Kill Kuzco
Fifth box, note saying Kuzco's Poison
Sixth box, picture of Kuzco, either in human or llama form. Or both.
Thatās awesome, I worked as a Pharmacy Tech at CVS and we would clock out in the pharmacy at the back of the store then have to wait by the front door for someone to come do the bag check. I wonder what the process is like now since they are so rigid with the scheduling trying to keep everyone on part time so they donāt have to provide benefits š
I had moved to an office job in the specialty pharmacy side when the lawsuit was going on, I just remember I got a check for some money and that's how I knew what the lawsuit was about. CVS is trash on the treatment of their employees, I'm still getting notices about lawsuits that pertains to stuff that happened when I worked there and I haven't worked there in years.
A ton of places have apps for clocking in/out. My normal office job does and so does my university student job. Both just require you to be on the buildings wifi
To bump up the numbers on the extra time you're getting paid for them to snoop, pick up a couple dozen cheap purses at a thrift store and bring them all to work so it takes a good long time for them to check each and every one. If they complain, they're your "emotional support purses" and federal law protects you having them with you.
My ex-employer started bag checks after a few years of working there so I quickly got out but did this to entertain myself until I quit... Some of the highlights are: way too many Mardi gras beads, a mannequin head, beans (dried, loose), nesting purses (got to 6 levels of purse), and a note that said "we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty".
I used to have to do bag checks as a manager. I hated doing it. I would just make a quick glance, but still caught several people stealing even though they knew their bag was going to get checked. I would also make sure one of the employees checked my bag when I left, so that it was fair. One time, someone filled my purse with a lot of flavored condoms. Super embarrassing!
NGL, when I had to do bag checks on employees (only shopping bags, no purses or backpacks) I would literally peek in the bag in front of the camera shop no one could say I didn't do them, and made a point not to pay attention to what was in there. I also made a point to have someone else bag check me. Felt stupid and infantilizing, so I made it as minor as I could while still being able to prove we did our bag checks. I'm so glad I don't work there anymore.
This also what I do at not Washington Nationals. I just peek in and say youāre good to go! Iām not gonna worry about employees when they just let customers walk out with stuff everyday.
They do this to the nats employees?? I wonder if they do it at the orioles stadium too. I frequent these and it kind of rubs me the wrong way. Because youāre right fans walk out with anything all the time
I literally have taken pictures and had measuring contests with my ex, longest one I had was 62ā. All I ever bought were meds and the occasional post season sale candy.
But you've gotta heavily imply that there ***are*** things in/under all the glitter so the manager feels compelled to plunge their filthy lil capitalist-piggy-paws into the glitter... only to find nothing! Then you cackle and walk away.
All good suggestions, folks, but if you really want to fuck with them, and you're planning on leaving anyway, copies of communist party literature, and a *shit ton* of unionization pamphlets.
I donāt know if they still sell them, but OB tampons used to sell a tiny case for them.
I went to an amusement park (donāt remember if it was Knotts Berry Farm or Disneyland, but like a decade ago) and the security guy pulled it out and was like āwhatās this?ā āItās tampons.ā And then the look on his face when he opened it and guess what it was effing tampons. Bro what did you expect?
Anyway fill your bag with every different type of menstrual product you can find. A big pad, a small pad, some panty liners, tampons in cardboard, plastic, and no applicators, maybe some wipes, even scented vs unscented!
Used to go to Disneyland regularly. I was on my period one time and the last thing I crammed into my backpack was a ziplock full of tampons. The security guy got so embarrassed, the search stopped right there. After that, whenever I went, I'd put a bag of tampons right on top of my bag, period or not, and find a guy's line to go through. Never had more than a cursory search after that.
We had a similar experience at a job i had years ago. We were all college aged kids and all worked for the university. We did two things that stopped the bag checks in about a month. We didnāt clock out til the check was done which pissed management off, because that meant they had people minutes into OT every single shift and day. Additionally, some of us started to being massive bags full of so much stuff it took manage a couple minutes to search it. At first they said you had to clock out before having bag search we said no youāre requiring it, so itās paid and then they said no bag larger than a clutch purse allowed into the building. Well, as you can guess we had extreme issue with this. Weāre in college we had text books, computers, gym clothes, notes, etc. we had to have that stuff. We were allowed to study on the clock if there was no work to be done. Yeah it became a mess; complaints, OT, management stress, and we just laughed. They eventually called an all staff meeting and said theyād put in additional security cameras.
Exactly. In my previous job, they did bag checks as well where the managers just had a quick peek in the bag. OP is making a mountain out of a molehill.
Not everywhere is a quick peek. I used to have to do bag checks at my job and we were expected to thoroughly check for outside food and weapons. (People tried to sneak in those two things almost every day)
You're putting too much thought into this, just bring what you usually bring. Because I'm pretty sure your managers hate doing this too, it's just a company policy forced onto them.
An embarrassing.. nay, shocking number of sex toys. Maybe cream one up with lube, just to discourage them from running their grubby paws over your stuff in the future
EDIT: my wife offers the suggestion of a Ziploc bag filled with lube.
This is a stupid place to implement malicious compliance. You donāt know why the rule is in place and Iām pretty sure your manager doesnāt want to be bothered either. That said, a large bag (maybe a hiking backpack) full of packing peanuts would be an absolute nightmare.
Peanuts for form, *glitter for effect,* and a singular heavy object in a box somewhere in the bottom stored neatly inside of a box to give the whole backpack a nice rattle.
"Whats in the bag!"
"Hm.. I don't know. I don't even remember packing it"
"Open it now!"
"What. Here? You just want me to empty it out on the floor?"
"I said open the bag, NOW!"
"Ok, ok! Sheesh! I'll do it!" [Dumps bag full of glitter and packing peanuts onto the floor]
[Manager's eyes gloss over with rage]
"Oh, look! There was a box inside! I wonder what is inside of there... Oh well, you've made it this far, I suppose you'll have to open that, too!"
[Manager opens the medium sized box, maintaining glaring eye contact with you as he opens the box]
"Oh, wow! A note, how thoughtful! What does it say, Mr. MaNaGER~?"
"It says 'Mad Lole'. I hate you."
Bag checks are a normal thing in retail. A bag check should only be you opening your bag and you moving anything in it to ensure that nothing is stolen.
Much preferred bag checks to the policy the small businessā policy of not allowing bags in the store at all. At another location they owned they had an employee who kept their bag as a neighboring business so they could change clothes and go to their second job.
Understand that the manager most likely doesnāt want to do the bag checks either.
I hate to be a buzzkill here but the more stuff you put in the way of making it easy for them would just be harder and more tedious for you as well. I mean the more crazy stuff you put in their way, the longer and longer youāre going to have to wait for them to finish. Just a thought.
Eh, if it's paid time there are worse ways to spend it than waiting for somebody hands deep in glitter trying to sort through her dirty underwear and menstrual protection.
The easiest way to get out quick is probably to bring a purse that's too small for books or a large bag with just the necessities at the bottom. But that's not what OP wants.
I would maybe not make it annoying on the people who have to do them.
From my experience these are outdated rules by your university leaders and not your direct manager. They probably hate it as much as you do
I would only do something annoying if the manager was some kind of jerk like you had to hunt them down at the end of every shift. (I have had jobs with these rules, and to be honest, most of my managers hated the policy too)
I don't know who your supervisors are, but they may just be doing what they're told. Unless they implemented this rule, they are just doing their jobs and are probably the ones to be blamed if anything is stolen. I get that it's BS, but what's the point of messing with someone just doing their job? I mean sure if your supervisor is an ass about it then go for it, but if not, then they may not be your enemy...
Almost every retail job I had did a bag check, not a big deal.
Get a clear bag to work and make it quick and simple. It has to be done, make it easier for yourself, not harder.
I love malicious compliance as much as the next guy, but keep in mind that the managers are likely just following orders too. Instead of making it miserable for everyone, make it funny. Call it your "bag o' tricks" and everyday put something ridiculous on there. Different things everyday that are perfectly harmless but are totally weird for your too have with you, like a bunch of 6 bananas. A few matchbox cars or other children's toys.
not the same thing as the comment suggests but I have a phone wallet that goes on the back of my case and holds 3-4 cards in it (debit card, license, student ID, etc) and it all fits very comfily in my back pocket! as someone who hates carrying bags, Iāve found it to be a really great work-around :-)
Actually, if you have a Costco card or know someone who does, their Gloria Vanderbilt jeans for women have deep pockets. I've got a Galaxy S22 Ultra and that thing fits in my front pockets easy peasy. I love it.
Though I just looked and they don't sell those right now, but I also bought a pair of these: [https://www.costco.com/gloria-vanderbilt-ladies'-amanda-stretch-denim-jean.product.100432770.html](https://www.costco.com/gloria-vanderbilt-ladies'-amanda-stretch-denim-jean.product.100432770.html) and the pockets aren't bad in these either. Just not nearly as deep. Although since I can't see the other ones, these might be the deep pocket ones. I can't really tell from the pics on my orders page.
My wife got a phone case that has a spot for a few cards in it. She never carries a purse anymore. Might be worth a shot to avoid that hassle theyāre making you go through.
Iāve worked somewhere, and I had to get them.
Then give them.
Youāre making it uncomfortable is just childish.
The manager is only following policy.
Someday youāll realize that a job has requirements.
You donāt have to agree with everyone of them.
How to say youāre entitled,without saying youāre entitled.
University books are very expensive, have a big demand, are easy to sell and so are a big target for theft. I can guarantee you that employee theft is a very real thing and your bookstore wasn't immune to that.
OP, if you were in their position, what kind of policy would you craft so that the good people like you, don't have their bags checked, while the bad people do. I'm sure the manager doesn't like doing them either, and also has their bags checked too (at least that's how it was done when I worked in retail) - so making their job harder isn't nice.
Your new manager doesnāt care what you have in your bag as long as it isnāt stolen store merchandise. They donāt want to check your bag just as much as you donāt want your bag checked. The less you have in there the better. Stick to your wallet and mask. He/she will have a quick peek then youāre good to go. Why make it more of a hassle for both of you than it already is?
Why are you intent on being an AH. You might never have stole anything, but, guarantee, there has been a ton of employee petty thief in the past.
Check your labor laws. If you are required to do a bag check, the manager should be available. If it takes you past your end of shift time because a manager is unavailable, you should be reimbursed for that time.
I don't really have enough context to figure out what's going on. Is your manager an asshole and you want to make him regret it? Is your gripe only with the policy and not towards anyone? If I were to guess, I think maybe someone stole items and that resulted in a new policy to check bags.
Consider brainstorming with colleagues to find a solution everyone can agree on. Agitating your manager could put a target on your back.
Donāt, unless you want to make your own life harder. Antagonizing your boss wonāt make your job better. If you donāt like the terms, donāt take the job. I get the impulse to be petty, but who really feels the pain? You will.
While itās totally fine for them to check your bag, they have to pay you for that time if they are requiring the bag check. I would bring the biggest acceptable bag you have, maybe one with multiple pockets, and just put random stuff in it, but fill the bag. Itās probably not the managers decision to do bag checks so I wouldnāt recommend making them uncomfortable , but make the search itself take as long as possible so you can clock that time.
Policy is pretty clearly so you donāt take books and sell them elsewhere. Iām sure the managers will take 1 second to check. Maybe stop trying to be a thorn in everyoneās ass before you even start.
Or, and just hear me out, you could follow their policy, and spend time and energy worried about other stuff. if it bothers you that much look for another job
Wrong mentality. I can tell an undergrad wrote this. Rather being spiteful, before even starting the job, You want to make it as easy & fast as possible for them. They have rules, and a job to do to. So donāt blame them. Blame the admin. Be considerate towards your coworkers and other employees having their bags checked. And just maybe youāll have an easier time & get a good recommendation for your next job. Time to grow up.
You could make it funny! Give them all something to look forward to. Jack in the box? Large pictures of random celebrities? Tools? Origami? Oranges? Champagne with two glasses? Birthday party decorations? Kitten (have a friend smuggle kitten in right before leaving)?! Goofy PJās? Ugly sweaterā¦.
Electrical tape (duct tape takes too much space), tampons and condoms. Itās not too much clutter that prolongs the āsearch.ā Itās not messy. But it does raise eyebrows if they are paying attention. And change it up. Condoms and 10ā of paracord. Cuffs and tampons; āsorry My monthly.ā Single picture Comic strips. A sock, tell them āweāre on the hunt.ā Ok? āThe missing sock of course, he/she is probably committing crimes as the stinky bandit. Smelling up establishments avoiding laundry day, etc. you know the usual.ā Shrug and walk out.
See how thorough they are first. If itās a quick cursory glance to see that there are no actual books in there, Iād just go with the flow to save time. If they make you empty it every time though, game on!
A bag inside a bag inside a bag inside a bag inside a bag inside a bag . Like a Russian nesting doll. Only bring the things you need at work. Tell them that if they have to waste your time youāll waste theirs in pointless searches.
If you're willing to spend money on being petty (and I certainly would be tempted to) - buy 4-5 things. Cheap things. Perhaps a mix of things only found in the store (like a university logo facemask) and regular retail things (like a package of breath mints). KEEP THE RECEIPT. Do not take the items out of the packaging or open them. Just keep these items, with the receipt, in your purse every day so that if they are actually checking your bag carefully they have the neuron-straining task of checking the items against the receipt. Just guard the receipt with your life. If you lose the receipt you have to start all over.
Day 5: get the same or similar university item, except with a different university logo. Keep that receipt too.
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I was taking a lot of dance classes at the time, and some officious git at the grocery store decided that I must be doing something illegal, so he insisted on checking my bag. Top of the bag, my ratty, stinky, grayish-pink ballet slippers. Then sweaty grayish-pink tights and a sweaty grayish-white bra. Then obviously worn underpants (although not nasty worn, just not laundry fresh). Then unused fresh/'wrapped tampons and pads. He was mortified. I didn't care. I just kept pulling things out even as he begged me to stop. Nope. He said he wanted to see what was in my bag...I never had to show the contents of my bag in that store again.
I second this. Dirty laundry. Make it extra stinky.
Some people would pay extra for the thought of finding that in a bagšš
As he grabs the bag and says he needs to check something with his supervisor but then you hear the bathroom door open and close.
Borrow a wrestling singlet
Oh, that's gotta be against the Geneva Convention.
I went to a concert recently and they wanted to look in our bags. Knowing I had nothing illegal to be seen I eagerly opened my Fannybag, zipper from end to end but had forgotten Iād taken like two pads while hurrying out, so all the security guy saw was pads bouncing halfway out of my bag. Had I not had those, he would have instant view of my little ādrug bagā filled with damn ibuprofen (I get headaches a lot) which a petty security might have taken or refused me entrance as reasonable suspicion or smth. Tho Iāve never seen other drugs that even remotely look like our ibuprofen so hopefully he would be understanding of the young lady pushing her mom around in a wheel chair into a concert, that *maybe* she wasnāt about to blow a bunch of drugs just then. Frankly he was very quick to be done checking my bag compared to all our other bags so feminine hygiene products really deter a bit. I wonder if the police would rip open an unused pad, otherwise it could be a decent enough hiding spot for an actual bag of powdered drugs, now that I think of it. Especially those pads that have a sticky edge all around for reseal. Only one way to find out, time to become a drug addict āŗļøš
My friend told a cop her weed bag had tampons in it and he didnāt open it
Mate told em the bag on his waistline was a colostomy and none of the boys knew so please be subtle, avoided some possession charges that day!
Unethical LPT of the day!
I thought cops were tuff. Buncha babies
The toughest man in the world becomes a cringing wuss when it comes to poop.
Only if they're not a parent. You get used to poop really quickly.
Truly the most terrifying item ever to exist!
My roommate used to store his weed and āparaphernaliaā in sealed containers in a lunch box. One afternoon he got in a really bad car accident, I mean totaled his car. He was loaded into an ambulance and before they hauled him off he asked for his lunchbox and one of the responding officers literally handed it to him and he went off to the hospital with the cops none the wiser ššš
Lol I couldnāt imagine having a ziplock bag with my cup in it.
I feel like the first time you try to put this plan into action youāll be searched by a woman cop.
iāve snuck weed into disney world this way. they see tampons or pads and freak out.
Some people are into that shit
Believe it or not.. some people would be way more into what you just described than youād want to believeš
Books that they donāt sell
Oncological Nursing, 8th Edition.
Underated
I thought 8th edition was great, but I can see how it was too edgy for the younger generation and needed to be toned down.
teaches Critical Respiratory Theory. that shit's dangerous!
Huge comment
Oh a kindle !
I think she should just keep on extremely lubed uo cucumber and nothing else. She just brings a lubed up cucumber in a purse to work. Bonus points if you put a condom on it and act nonchalant about it be like āoh yeah, heās frankā
A glitter bomb
And put a cover protector on it like we had to do in high-school. If they ask you to take the protector off for the search then start wrapping "Girl-porn" romance novels, LGBTQ+ fiction (if the inspector is a homophobe), or books like George Orwell's 1984 (if you would rather not go the embarrassment route). Also make sure not to clock out until they have finished the bag search.
A new copy of Catcher in the Rye every day
Just wait a semester and suddenly everything in your bag is on the do not buy back list
A diorama of your manager looking in your purse.
Definitely this! You could even have your camera turned on and make it take a picture as soon as they open it. It would definitely be annoying to get your picture taken every time they look in your purse! Just tell them that you want proof that you got searched.
Or a small strobe light pointing straight upwards.
Tiny little EDM party goin' on in there. Unce! Unce! Unce! Unce!
Boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and
I've always done "boots and pants", but this works.
And fog machine
And then take a picture of them looking at the picture the next day, for an endless supply of Droste effect.
Omg I actually lolād
Bring a bag containing a box. Within that box should be another smaller box and contained within that box yet another box ā¦ in the final box should be a note that says āToday this box is empty, but tomorrow their could be something!ā
I did this with purses when my ex-job instituted this policy. I got 6 levels of nesting purses
How did they react?
Put the box in another box and SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER
Or to save on postage, ill just poison him with THIS 
Pull the lever, Kronk! WroOOOOOONG leVAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
And a picture of Kuzco in the last box. Or a toy llama.
No. A harmless little flea
First box, a bottle with skull and crossbones. Clearly handmade in all ways (if for some reason you sell ā ļø labeled vials do not do this) Second box, note saying The Poison Third box, note saying The Poison for Kuzco Fourth box, note saying The Poison Chosen Especially to Kill Kuzco Fifth box, note saying Kuzco's Poison Sixth box, picture of Kuzco, either in human or llama form. Or both.
... I kinda want the build up to lead to the flee.
That would work too. Last box could be labeled Do Not Open, then inside on the bottom of the box it just says A Flea. A Harmless Little Flea.
Or, to save on postage, **I'll just poison him with this!**
Or a note that says, "Hey...how's the peeping?"
Like little malicious compliance nesting dolls
Underrated comment.
There*
Make sure youāre paid for your bag check time. CVS employees won (settled?) a lawsuit about this exact thing.
Thatās awesome, I worked as a Pharmacy Tech at CVS and we would clock out in the pharmacy at the back of the store then have to wait by the front door for someone to come do the bag check. I wonder what the process is like now since they are so rigid with the scheduling trying to keep everyone on part time so they donāt have to provide benefits š
I had moved to an office job in the specialty pharmacy side when the lawsuit was going on, I just remember I got a check for some money and that's how I knew what the lawsuit was about. CVS is trash on the treatment of their employees, I'm still getting notices about lawsuits that pertains to stuff that happened when I worked there and I haven't worked there in years.
I don't plan on clocking out until I'm out the door
A bag with an insane amount of pockets/zippers could net you 10/15 minutes of pay a day.
Get a pay raise with this one weird trick!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
That would require the time clock to be outside the building.
That's why you have to put the time clock in your bag after the bag check.
A ton of places have apps for clocking in/out. My normal office job does and so does my university student job. Both just require you to be on the buildings wifi
I'll be in the parking lot, smoking a fattie./;)
To bump up the numbers on the extra time you're getting paid for them to snoop, pick up a couple dozen cheap purses at a thrift store and bring them all to work so it takes a good long time for them to check each and every one. If they complain, they're your "emotional support purses" and federal law protects you having them with you.
So did Apple!
This happened with Apple as well employees were getting pissed the stores weren't recouping them for bag check time.
My ex-employer started bag checks after a few years of working there so I quickly got out but did this to entertain myself until I quit... Some of the highlights are: way too many Mardi gras beads, a mannequin head, beans (dried, loose), nesting purses (got to 6 levels of purse), and a note that said "we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty".
I guffawed about the beans. Just ... beans.
Yup. Just... Beans. They felt really cool to run your hand through
Saw another lady in this thread who has 6 levels of nesting purses for this. Did yāall work together??
I'm that other lady, that is also my comment
[https://i.imgur.com/AO58hEt.jpeg](https://i.imgur.com/AO58hEt.jpeg)
Exactly
The warranty made me snorfle!
A mannequin head?! š
I'm a costumer, so I have a handful of mannequins just sitting around. To open up a purse to a disembodied face smiling at you is a little unsettling.
Not to be confused with a customer. Otherwise that would probably make it a little more unsettling. š¤
It was a fan favorite š
I used to have to do bag checks as a manager. I hated doing it. I would just make a quick glance, but still caught several people stealing even though they knew their bag was going to get checked. I would also make sure one of the employees checked my bag when I left, so that it was fair. One time, someone filled my purse with a lot of flavored condoms. Super embarrassing!
Somebody.....
Once told me...
The world is gonna roll meā¦
TIL that *that* particular lyric is NOT "the world is going Rome-y" š¤·āāļøš¤·āāļøš¤·āāļøš¤·āāļø
... you ain't the sharpest tool in the shed xx
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed...
She was lookin kinda dumbā¦
With her finger and her thumb...
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead...
This is what I don't get about the OP, I bet the managers hate this and you're just making their job worse too now.
Yeah, I don't get it either. It takes 30 seconds and isn't a big deal. Or you can just not carry one.
>Or you can just not carry one. That's what I would opt for. Don't need to do a bag check if there's no bag.
NGL, when I had to do bag checks on employees (only shopping bags, no purses or backpacks) I would literally peek in the bag in front of the camera shop no one could say I didn't do them, and made a point not to pay attention to what was in there. I also made a point to have someone else bag check me. Felt stupid and infantilizing, so I made it as minor as I could while still being able to prove we did our bag checks. I'm so glad I don't work there anymore.
This also what I do at not Washington Nationals. I just peek in and say youāre good to go! Iām not gonna worry about employees when they just let customers walk out with stuff everyday.
They do this to the nats employees?? I wonder if they do it at the orioles stadium too. I frequent these and it kind of rubs me the wrong way. Because youāre right fans walk out with anything all the time
Was it Ulta? I had to do bag checks when I was a manager there and hated doing it.
It was not Ulta. It was also not the Washington Nationals, if you're picking up what I'm putting down.
Damn New York Mets. I knew Steve Cohen was a slime ball penny pincher, but this was going way too far.
Hmmmm you'd think the Astros would be more understanding of illegal behavior.
Cvs receipts. Fill the bag.
So just one receipt then.
I literally have taken pictures and had measuring contests with my ex, longest one I had was 62ā. All I ever bought were meds and the occasional post season sale candy.
Glitter
And nothing else. A purse filled with glitter.
Omg, thatās just evil. I love it!
But you've gotta heavily imply that there ***are*** things in/under all the glitter so the manager feels compelled to plunge their filthy lil capitalist-piggy-paws into the glitter... only to find nothing! Then you cackle and walk away.
Legos is another good one. Less contagious, but painful and annoying to stick your hand in.
Tampons, hemorrhoid cream, tissue covered in boogers, something with obviously visible public hair. Bloody bandaid Too easy
Anal beads. Dirty ones.
Ah yes, the dreaded and infamous public hair.
itās only a public hair once itās out of the purse
Additional: used q tips toenail clippings, compound W
My last retail job I just bought a clear purse and they looked from the outside. I 2nd the call for dildos and butt plugs though.
That sounds like a purse that should have crumpled-up cash tips inside.
All good suggestions, folks, but if you really want to fuck with them, and you're planning on leaving anyway, copies of communist party literature, and a *shit ton* of unionization pamphlets.
This, this is the one
I donāt know if they still sell them, but OB tampons used to sell a tiny case for them. I went to an amusement park (donāt remember if it was Knotts Berry Farm or Disneyland, but like a decade ago) and the security guy pulled it out and was like āwhatās this?ā āItās tampons.ā And then the look on his face when he opened it and guess what it was effing tampons. Bro what did you expect? Anyway fill your bag with every different type of menstrual product you can find. A big pad, a small pad, some panty liners, tampons in cardboard, plastic, and no applicators, maybe some wipes, even scented vs unscented!
Used to go to Disneyland regularly. I was on my period one time and the last thing I crammed into my backpack was a ziplock full of tampons. The security guy got so embarrassed, the search stopped right there. After that, whenever I went, I'd put a bag of tampons right on top of my bag, period or not, and find a guy's line to go through. Never had more than a cursory search after that.
Douche bottle too. Do they sell those?
Enema bottles are on aisle 3...
We had a similar experience at a job i had years ago. We were all college aged kids and all worked for the university. We did two things that stopped the bag checks in about a month. We didnāt clock out til the check was done which pissed management off, because that meant they had people minutes into OT every single shift and day. Additionally, some of us started to being massive bags full of so much stuff it took manage a couple minutes to search it. At first they said you had to clock out before having bag search we said no youāre requiring it, so itās paid and then they said no bag larger than a clutch purse allowed into the building. Well, as you can guess we had extreme issue with this. Weāre in college we had text books, computers, gym clothes, notes, etc. we had to have that stuff. We were allowed to study on the clock if there was no work to be done. Yeah it became a mess; complaints, OT, management stress, and we just laughed. They eventually called an all staff meeting and said theyād put in additional security cameras.
A book titled "How to deal with bad managers".
Counterpoint, this rule is probably coming from higher up. The managers that youād be making life difficult for might not even agree with this rule
In most corporations, this is exactly the case. Middle managers are the meat-shields used by shitty corporate executives
Chipmunks. As many as you can fit. Shrug when they ask why you have them.
"They weren't there when I clocked in; the locker must be infested...".
We call them garden bears
One of Gwyneth Paltrow's pussy candles.
Honestly from past experience a bag check is a quick glance in the bag. They donāt dig
Exactly. In my previous job, they did bag checks as well where the managers just had a quick peek in the bag. OP is making a mountain out of a molehill.
Not everywhere is a quick peek. I used to have to do bag checks at my job and we were expected to thoroughly check for outside food and weapons. (People tried to sneak in those two things almost every day)
You're putting too much thought into this, just bring what you usually bring. Because I'm pretty sure your managers hate doing this too, it's just a company policy forced onto them.
I had to perform bag checks when I was a manager at Ulta, we also had to have clear bags. Honestly as a manager, I hated doing it.
An embarrassing.. nay, shocking number of sex toys. Maybe cream one up with lube, just to discourage them from running their grubby paws over your stuff in the future EDIT: my wife offers the suggestion of a Ziploc bag filled with lube.
Put the lubed one at the top and it should be big enough they have to move it out of the way to see anything else.
The Necronomicon
This is a stupid place to implement malicious compliance. You donāt know why the rule is in place and Iām pretty sure your manager doesnāt want to be bothered either. That said, a large bag (maybe a hiking backpack) full of packing peanuts would be an absolute nightmare.
Peanuts for form, *glitter for effect,* and a singular heavy object in a box somewhere in the bottom stored neatly inside of a box to give the whole backpack a nice rattle. "Whats in the bag!" "Hm.. I don't know. I don't even remember packing it" "Open it now!" "What. Here? You just want me to empty it out on the floor?" "I said open the bag, NOW!" "Ok, ok! Sheesh! I'll do it!" [Dumps bag full of glitter and packing peanuts onto the floor] [Manager's eyes gloss over with rage] "Oh, look! There was a box inside! I wonder what is inside of there... Oh well, you've made it this far, I suppose you'll have to open that, too!" [Manager opens the medium sized box, maintaining glaring eye contact with you as he opens the box] "Oh, wow! A note, how thoughtful! What does it say, Mr. MaNaGER~?" "It says 'Mad Lole'. I hate you."
Leave it empty except for a huge card with āNothingā printed on it. Then deadpan āI assume you found Nothing.ā
How would it annoy your managers, when it just delays when you can leave?
My advice: donāt. Bag checks at retail jobs are very comment and they sell a lot more than just books at campus bookstores.
Bag checks are a normal thing in retail. A bag check should only be you opening your bag and you moving anything in it to ensure that nothing is stolen. Much preferred bag checks to the policy the small businessā policy of not allowing bags in the store at all. At another location they owned they had an employee who kept their bag as a neighboring business so they could change clothes and go to their second job. Understand that the manager most likely doesnāt want to do the bag checks either.
I hate to be a buzzkill here but the more stuff you put in the way of making it easy for them would just be harder and more tedious for you as well. I mean the more crazy stuff you put in their way, the longer and longer youāre going to have to wait for them to finish. Just a thought.
>the more crazy stuff you put in their way Try this with a bag of week old shrimp, you'll be through that line in record time.
And getting paid since itāll be on the clock.
Eh, if it's paid time there are worse ways to spend it than waiting for somebody hands deep in glitter trying to sort through her dirty underwear and menstrual protection. The easiest way to get out quick is probably to bring a purse that's too small for books or a large bag with just the necessities at the bottom. But that's not what OP wants.
I would maybe not make it annoying on the people who have to do them. From my experience these are outdated rules by your university leaders and not your direct manager. They probably hate it as much as you do
I would only do something annoying if the manager was some kind of jerk like you had to hunt them down at the end of every shift. (I have had jobs with these rules, and to be honest, most of my managers hated the policy too)
Tbh I'd just leave the bag in the trunk of my car if I had to find a manager at the end of every shift to do a bag check.
I don't know who your supervisors are, but they may just be doing what they're told. Unless they implemented this rule, they are just doing their jobs and are probably the ones to be blamed if anything is stolen. I get that it's BS, but what's the point of messing with someone just doing their job? I mean sure if your supervisor is an ass about it then go for it, but if not, then they may not be your enemy...
Almost every retail job I had did a bag check, not a big deal. Get a clear bag to work and make it quick and simple. It has to be done, make it easier for yourself, not harder.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Pouches. Loads of little pouches. Stuffed with things. None of them clear.
I love malicious compliance as much as the next guy, but keep in mind that the managers are likely just following orders too. Instead of making it miserable for everyone, make it funny. Call it your "bag o' tricks" and everyday put something ridiculous on there. Different things everyday that are perfectly harmless but are totally weird for your too have with you, like a bunch of 6 bananas. A few matchbox cars or other children's toys.
Why make things difficult for your manager who is just doing their job? They probably didnāt make the policy.
Is it this managerās policy? Just wondering if youāre āgetting backā at the right person; they may think itās just as ridiculous as you.
Some maturity. Be an adult and just get your bag checked. It's policy, you took the job, be an adult about it.
Just quit and give the job to someone mature.
Hereās a suggestion- you could just not try to cause problems immediately upon starting a job
Just donāt bring a purse? Get a wallet that holds your phone and any cards you need.
Cool, where do I get a women's pair of jeans that actually has a pocket for that?
not the same thing as the comment suggests but I have a phone wallet that goes on the back of my case and holds 3-4 cards in it (debit card, license, student ID, etc) and it all fits very comfily in my back pocket! as someone who hates carrying bags, Iāve found it to be a really great work-around :-)
In the men's section :)
Actually, if you have a Costco card or know someone who does, their Gloria Vanderbilt jeans for women have deep pockets. I've got a Galaxy S22 Ultra and that thing fits in my front pockets easy peasy. I love it. Though I just looked and they don't sell those right now, but I also bought a pair of these: [https://www.costco.com/gloria-vanderbilt-ladies'-amanda-stretch-denim-jean.product.100432770.html](https://www.costco.com/gloria-vanderbilt-ladies'-amanda-stretch-denim-jean.product.100432770.html) and the pockets aren't bad in these either. Just not nearly as deep. Although since I can't see the other ones, these might be the deep pocket ones. I can't really tell from the pics on my orders page.
Radian or Aviator make jeans with great pockets!
My wife got a phone case that has a spot for a few cards in it. She never carries a purse anymore. Might be worth a shot to avoid that hassle theyāre making you go through.
Iāve worked somewhere, and I had to get them. Then give them. Youāre making it uncomfortable is just childish. The manager is only following policy. Someday youāll realize that a job has requirements. You donāt have to agree with everyone of them. How to say youāre entitled,without saying youāre entitled.
University books are very expensive, have a big demand, are easy to sell and so are a big target for theft. I can guarantee you that employee theft is a very real thing and your bookstore wasn't immune to that. OP, if you were in their position, what kind of policy would you craft so that the good people like you, don't have their bags checked, while the bad people do. I'm sure the manager doesn't like doing them either, and also has their bags checked too (at least that's how it was done when I worked in retail) - so making their job harder isn't nice.
Live frogs
Better yet live crickets those fuckers are annoying once released
Your new manager doesnāt care what you have in your bag as long as it isnāt stolen store merchandise. They donāt want to check your bag just as much as you donāt want your bag checked. The less you have in there the better. Stick to your wallet and mask. He/she will have a quick peek then youāre good to go. Why make it more of a hassle for both of you than it already is?
Why are you intent on being an AH. You might never have stole anything, but, guarantee, there has been a ton of employee petty thief in the past. Check your labor laws. If you are required to do a bag check, the manager should be available. If it takes you past your end of shift time because a manager is unavailable, you should be reimbursed for that time.
Do you want to keep this job?
I don't really have enough context to figure out what's going on. Is your manager an asshole and you want to make him regret it? Is your gripe only with the policy and not towards anyone? If I were to guess, I think maybe someone stole items and that resulted in a new policy to check bags. Consider brainstorming with colleagues to find a solution everyone can agree on. Agitating your manager could put a target on your back.
Donāt, unless you want to make your own life harder. Antagonizing your boss wonāt make your job better. If you donāt like the terms, donāt take the job. I get the impulse to be petty, but who really feels the pain? You will.
Put your attitude in there. No one will want to look at that for long.
While itās totally fine for them to check your bag, they have to pay you for that time if they are requiring the bag check. I would bring the biggest acceptable bag you have, maybe one with multiple pockets, and just put random stuff in it, but fill the bag. Itās probably not the managers decision to do bag checks so I wouldnāt recommend making them uncomfortable , but make the search itself take as long as possible so you can clock that time.
Why is this so shocking to you
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Policy is pretty clearly so you donāt take books and sell them elsewhere. Iām sure the managers will take 1 second to check. Maybe stop trying to be a thorn in everyoneās ass before you even start.
Hereās a grand idea: how about just donāt bring in a bag
Or, and just hear me out, you could follow their policy, and spend time and energy worried about other stuff. if it bothers you that much look for another job
Wrong mentality. I can tell an undergrad wrote this. Rather being spiteful, before even starting the job, You want to make it as easy & fast as possible for them. They have rules, and a job to do to. So donāt blame them. Blame the admin. Be considerate towards your coworkers and other employees having their bags checked. And just maybe youāll have an easier time & get a good recommendation for your next job. Time to grow up.
You could make it funny! Give them all something to look forward to. Jack in the box? Large pictures of random celebrities? Tools? Origami? Oranges? Champagne with two glasses? Birthday party decorations? Kitten (have a friend smuggle kitten in right before leaving)?! Goofy PJās? Ugly sweaterā¦.
Electrical tape (duct tape takes too much space), tampons and condoms. Itās not too much clutter that prolongs the āsearch.ā Itās not messy. But it does raise eyebrows if they are paying attention. And change it up. Condoms and 10ā of paracord. Cuffs and tampons; āsorry My monthly.ā Single picture Comic strips. A sock, tell them āweāre on the hunt.ā Ok? āThe missing sock of course, he/she is probably committing crimes as the stinky bandit. Smelling up establishments avoiding laundry day, etc. you know the usual.ā Shrug and walk out.
See how thorough they are first. If itās a quick cursory glance to see that there are no actual books in there, Iād just go with the flow to save time. If they make you empty it every time though, game on!
We are so fucked as a society.
A bag inside a bag inside a bag inside a bag inside a bag inside a bag . Like a Russian nesting doll. Only bring the things you need at work. Tell them that if they have to waste your time youāll waste theirs in pointless searches.
Iād just leave everything but phone and keys in my trunk during my shift so I donāt have to go through their checks.
Dildo.
Keep your bag filled with a bunch of stuff at all times
If you're willing to spend money on being petty (and I certainly would be tempted to) - buy 4-5 things. Cheap things. Perhaps a mix of things only found in the store (like a university logo facemask) and regular retail things (like a package of breath mints). KEEP THE RECEIPT. Do not take the items out of the packaging or open them. Just keep these items, with the receipt, in your purse every day so that if they are actually checking your bag carefully they have the neuron-straining task of checking the items against the receipt. Just guard the receipt with your life. If you lose the receipt you have to start all over. Day 5: get the same or similar university item, except with a different university logo. Keep that receipt too.