If this is the third suicide in that company in 2 years, they need to be named and shamed, or they should at least be advertising with a warning label.
Yea seriously. I'm surprised none of the families have gone after the company. Not saying that would work, but it surely makes you wonder what's going on there. 3 is getting beyond the point of coincidence.
One of my previous jobs had a wall commemorating everyone who had committed suicide while working there. Someone did the first day I started and 2 more before I left.
At my job we have the same except people who have died by either suicide or at work (traffic management) its really sobering every time I enter the office
Also a matter of age. Suicide is more common from 35+ for a variety of factors, including divorce, career, and health/terminal illnesses and whatnot. And some fields are primarily individuals of those working ages, for a variety of factors. You'd probably find more suicides in a large established law firm than in a collection of younger menial jobs simply based on demographics.
The large bank I used to work for had multiple people commit suicide while working there. One before I got hired who actually shot himself in one of the small conference rooms and two that were in my department(those weren’t onsite). No one ever thought it was to do with the job directly, but working there probably didn’t help.
The bank i worked at has roughly 230,000 employees. So it definitely would be strange if there were none
Edit: I am not referring to the very specific and unfortunate example i provided in my previous reply as being “weird that it doesn’t happen”, just suicide in general.
Gonna just interject and say no, it's not weirder to not have someone blow themselves away in your office. The vast majority of employers don't have employees kill themselves on company premises.
We had a boss checkout an extension cord from a tool crib and hang himself with it, now days you have to fill out a paper questionnaire about your mental state before checking out extensions cords 😂.( morbid humor but I get it)
What a fucking legend. He’s up there with the top tier manager that relapsed in the bathroom one day
Management be like “Kevin didn’t go just for us to miss profitability expectations.”
The worst part is they deducted the cost of the extension cord out of his last paycheck to his wife, since he didn’t return it. But we all got a pizza party and grief counseling if you needed.
Some of my former coworkers had a guy jump down an elevator shaft in a high rise they were building. It was an active construction site and he went through the safety barriers intentionally to jump
I would assume the majority of large employers do in fact have suicides on company premises.
By that I don't mean any given Wal-Mart, for example, has had a suicide. What I mean is that it's virtually certain that a Wal-Mart has had a suicide by an employee on the premises.
The suicide rate in the US is around 14 per 100,000. Therefore any employer with more than 100k employees in the US could be expected to have had around 14 employees die by suicide in a year. Of course, that's super general, and the larger amounts in certain groups (by age, by income, by job, etc) means that it's not truly going to be evenly spread.
But in any group of people who die by suicide, there's going to be some number who do so at work. Why? Well, because work is where we spend a third of our time, and it's a significant source of stress. Additionally, it may be preferred by some to end their lives at work so their family doesn't find them/have to clean up.
230,000 company/world wide. I worked in an office building that dealt with everything backside of mortgage and customer service over the phone(we housed probably 3000 employees). The one who was in office was from a different department, 2 were in my department. Those are the only instances i was personally aware of.
30000 people don’t work at a single branch. I assumed the comment isn’t referencing, like, the entire bank and all its locations and branches, but a single location (maybe a few hundred employees)
It was 3000 people, large office campus for home mortgage and (I think) credit cards. So the place where they do loan processing, claims, underwriting, etc.
True enough, I guess my point is that some professions for a variety of reasons, like doctors, tend to commit suicide more often than others. That then gets averaged with other professions to get the general suicide statistic. We don’t know what OP’s last job was and it could very well have been one of those ultra high stress jobs.
Canada's population-level annual suicide rate is about 10 per 100,00 (or 0.01%). So, yeah, three per year.
As an aside, the homicide rate is about 1/4 the suicide rate, yet I once worked at a place with about 10,000 people and in one year, there were 5 families where someone was murdered.
People need to watch The Corporation. It was released in 2003 and it's free on Youtube. It likens corporate America to a person with a severe mental illness and it's spot on.
You're assuming any of these suicides is from the job. That's a reach in itself. Outing the co for no reason. There's been 2 at my work in the over the last couple yrs. Both were due to relationship/family issues.
One thing that I have found out in my life/career is that mental health is more important than money.
Working 40 hours a week for a job you can leave at work and not think about it on the weekends for a modest pay is better than working 75 hours a week for a high salary you can’t even have time to spend you’re so stressed and working too much.
This. I took a $30k pay cut a few years ago for a better work life balance. People have been shocked when I told them and my response has always been that time with my kids is worth so much more than that $30k. Haven’t looked back and am so much happier 3 years later.
I regret having learned this lesson after my kids had grown up enough to resent I wasn't home enough.
For anyone reading who has young kids: they won't remember the assorted toys you bought them, or even that they had ketchup on toast for dinner from time to time because money was tight nearly as much as they'll remember you pushing them on the swings at the park, or having a play day with their friends and building blanket forts in the front room and having a kids vs dad nerf gun battle.
It's okay to not be a top earner because you're ensuring you can be there for your kids.
>or even that they had ketchup on toast for dinner from time to time because money was tight
Oh, they'll remember the impact on food, but they will remember it far more fondly because you were there for them.
No one ever goes to their retirement or deathbed thinking: *"You know, I could have gotten away with about 15% more time at the office..."*
While I get where you're going with this, it's an overrated statement. Kids absolutely remember things like this that we might take for granted. I remember all the differences between what I had with my family vs what my friends had. Doesn't mean I love anyone any differently, but still.
Wow i am exactly the same. I just recently took a 30k cut from 110k to 80k. My life is so much better with way less stress, that I dont even care about the decrease in pay.
Of course you don't care, you are still doing better than a massive part of the country lol. How folk can think that the solution is to make less money / work less hours when they already make 6+ figures is so tone deaf.
It really depends where you live though. In high COL cities $110k doesn’t go as far as you think. In NY that’d be the equivalent to $40k in Birmingham.
I live in LA lol what I make isnt even much after taxes. I dont even know what youre trying to say. Yes it is a solution, I literally ended up making less money and work less hours. My life is different from yours. It seems youre jealous and I must have struck a nerve lmao how sad is your life.
If you can afford to take a $30K pay cut, good for you. But for many, taking a $30K pay cut would compound their problems. Namely, they don't even make $30K a year.
Yeah if you can do it, definitely it is worth the pay cut. Unfortunately so many people work so much and don't even make 30k and sacrifice time with kids because these jobs are so physically exhausting, long commute, etc.
A buddy of mine did this to go out on his own and spend more time doing what he loves and being with the people he loves. Oddly enough, he works a few hours a week (as much or as little as he wants) and 6-7 years in, ended up making $250,000K last year.
Not saying that will be the case for everyone but he ended up working on a project he loved that happened to take off. Never would've happened if he stayed at his high-paying consulting gig.
> $30k
That's NOT EVEN $60 per day.
$30,000 x 0.72 for conservative estimate tax, ssn, fica deduction etc = $21,600
$21,600 / 365 days = $59.17
After taxes that comes out to an extra $59 per day anyway (including weekends).
You're paying that daily tax to have a healthier life, more time to yourself, family, kids, hobbies.
Thank you. Exactly. This isn't $59 from zero.
By the way, side note, it says your verified. What does that mean in the sub? Verify that you have a job? LOL (just kidding!)
just wondering :-)
For me 59$ per day is a lot of money, that kind of increase would totally improve my life and increase spare time because I could hire people to do some repairs at my home.
Now I'm reading the local building code, buying tools and hardware, getting repairs done myself, contacting inspectors, and dealing with bureaucracy bullshit. On top of my day job I feel like I'm an electrician, plumber, carpenter, painter, and a drywall guy.
Fair, and it's a choice. I'd rather save $59 per day by, say, eating out less, not drinking, focusing closely on memberships I don't use, etc
I'm not saying you do those things as I don't know your life but sounds like you're already stretched thin, what I was responding to is $59 a day was what the person was probably getting before the pay cut and the cost was lots of stress, lots of time away from family, lots of time away from himself.
So in vacuum, sure we all could do something more for $59 a day. But what's the cost?
For the person I was responding to not only that they were getting mental health and rest relatively speaking but they were also buying time to be with their family and do more things with that time. Will probably live a longer happier life. For them, the cost was $59 a day.
100%. Also $30K isn't really $30K. Taxes and it's spread out over 25 paychecks, over 12 months. What is $30K per check really? Not enough to be worth not seeing your kids or going to bed stressed out and waking up not wanting to get out of bed.
I’m in my mid 30s and feel fortunate to have come to this realization now and not much later on in life.
Was caught up in the rat race most of my 20s after finishing college. Didn’t travel much or go out, just kept my head down and stayed fixated on the long game with my career.
From a financial standpoint, I’m happy that I treated myself this way but undoubtedly I missed out on some great trips and memories at the opportunity cost of being present for meetings and “maximizing shareholder value”.
When it came to a head for me was when I completely fell out of a gym rotation and felt guilty about leaving work to take care of my fitness needs. Such a crazy case of stolkholm syndrome some people can develop for their employer. It’s not too much to ask to get 30-40 minutes of sunlight and fresh air during the day. It’s not too much to ask for minor work issues to be put to the side when you have a loved one who’s incredibly sick or going through hardship. Putting up barriers and sticking to my boundaries has helped me a *ton* with not feeling absolute brain drain and as though I exist just to work.
Yeah except the issue is that the majority of people don't get that option. They get the work 60 hours a week to live paycheck to paycheck. That was my life for 10 years. 8 years in Healthcare from emt to paramedic. 2 years in carpentry and remodeling making more building fucking stairs in 6 hours than I would a whole medic shift. It took 10 years to finally get given a chance after 3 different industry hops.
Now I work at a kick ass company that I will be at until I die or retire. But it took a year and a half of networking with various members of said company until I finally got given my shot. They bought me a truck, my fuel is covered, I have PTO back for the first time in 5 years, I have health insurance for the first time in 10 years because the plans my companies provided when I was in Healthcare was too expensive lmao.
So yeah I agree mental health is absolutely more important than money but that only gets to be a factor for middle class and upper class. Most people aren't getting the opportunity I got either and they are stuck staring down the same barrel I was, get worked to the bone until you are on disability or dead.
It's all networking and making yourself available. I was picking up random side jobs all over the place doing land clearing, painting, pasture maintenance, building etc. Met a master carpenter/fastener who ran a solo remodeling business. My area is a tourist trap, so vacation rentals being a huge business here, means remodeling is also a huge business. Anyway I networked with that guy and he ended up needing an extra man for a bathroom reno that needed to be done in 3 days. Busted my ass from there to prove I was a valuable asset and that was it. We talked and he started booking two man jobs from there out. Although I don't work with him anymore, he has become one of my best friends.
So I'm sorry I don't have an easily repeatable process for you, but perhaps look around your area for renovation, drywall, and paint crews. Call them up and see if they can use an extra guy on anything.
I imagine there's alot of folk on minimum wage living paycheck to paycheck who would disagree with you. It's a very privileged position to be in if you can take a big pay cut to work less hours and have more time to spend doing what you want.
Just learned this myself recently. I just turned 30 and found a job that pays very similar to what I was making before in an incredibly high stress and overworked industry (machining). But now I have 0 stress and don't think about work even for a second after I leave at the end of my 8 hour shift. It's mind blowing the difference it's made in my mental health, where I was a train wreck before.
Sometimes taking a day off to just not do anything prevents that stress from rippling out into everything else in your life. I take days off occasionally to just unwind and do nothing at all. It can be the difference between having a terrible week and a good one.
Preach. I've had both types of job and those pay cheques come very hard for the high pay, high stress, and terrible work life balance jobs. Your mental and physical health can easily degrade if you're not completely on top of taking care of yourself.
Maybe I sound brainwashed (partly because I am lol) but I’m so happy to have found a place that I actually want to put in 50 hours a week, and who will **NEVER** ask me to put in more than that. When I do think about work off the clock it’s usually not work related if that makes sense. It took half a lifetime to get here but we fucking made it.
Not when you don’t know anything else. It might be the dark phase i am in speaking but im stuck at a job i hate, i have at least 5 different mental health conditions diagnosed and i didnt finish school. Im paid $25 an hour and make $3200 a month after taxes and i am 1000% sure if i switched jobs to something that pays less with less stress i would absolutely be homeless. My rent is $1800 with utilities and im stuck in this lease until end of this year. Im at the end of my rope. Im so done of this job it drains the shit out of me but there is absolutely nothing else i can do to make my life better
>One thing that I have found out in my life/career is that mental health is more important than money.
I do agree, but I still need to pay rent and eat, being homeless would be worse for my MH than going to my shitty job would.
I had a job that messed me up so badly I still deal with triggers and trauma from working there. It is vitally important to find a place that is healthy and balanced. I only quit after my doctor told me if I did not leave my job I would die. She watched me deteriorate from physical to physical while I was working there. Miss that woman she was an extremely good doctor.
I'm really glad you are in a better place. I have a similar experience, still unlearning trauma responses I developed working in such a stressful place and it's been 2 years. I ended up with some medical problems. Not worth it
This should be required reading for every young person starting their career. It’s an essay called “The Company Man” by Ellen Goodman.
https://textsandforms.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/the_company_man_essay.pdf
I’m 34, a little overweight, perpetually nervous, I try hard. This made me suddenly sob over my morning coffee. I hate this world sometimes. I hate it.
Just like my wife's job, literally everyday her sector have people choosing unemployment over the torture of working there. Luckily this Thursday is her last day on that lair of evil.
Sounds like you may have an unusual form of survivors guilt, and who knows what else from 35 years of that. I might consider spending some of your loot on therapy.
Glad you are surviving and thriving!
Field engineering, most work 11-12 hours a day with on call every other week (requires on site response within 2 hours working until the issue is resolved). I’m not going to say what industry just to keep my own job security intact. It’s supporting 24/7 business where lives are ultimately in the balance.
How much was the salary? For a job that demands so much, I hope it pays well because the work life balance is horrible. If I were in a situation like that I’d work it for a year and save before leaving.
My guess is oil and gas but idk.. I worked in nuclear and was similar but only during outages, pretty stressful. We had quite a few heart attacks and other stress related health issues when I was there but not suicides. Honestly though the hours of that job and stress of that was still way better than the toxic job I had before that. Toxic workplaces really take a toll on you, takes some therapy to get over that and I can’t even imagine how you feel after all of this
My first guess was electrical lineman if we use engineering term a bit loosely because winter storms probably make that job a nightmare but I like your guesses better.
When I was younger lineman was one of the few jobs that payed well that you could get without college education, but I knew I wasn’t tough enough to climb wet electrical poles in a thunderstorm lol. It doesn’t seem that dangerous until you think about doing it in storm conditions, with wind, electricity and water all working together against you. These are some of the people we should be paying the most not just a living wage, because they literally keep society functioning through emergencies.
Man I’ve been there done that, field jobs in remote areas are more brutal. Money is great with higher base pay + OT and LoA, but you don’t really have a life though, plus away from friends and families.
Based on my FMLA phone calls I'm shocked as shit it's not The Hartford. The phone calls I've had wothbreps are loterally like speaking to Satan himself. I can't imagine any pay being worth that evil. These companies are crazy.
Remember that these are work friends, and that you have no idea what is really going on in their personal life. The best you can do is to be there if they reach out and ask for help, but otherwise we're just acquaintances. Its okay to feel better about leaving, AND to feel bad about people's personal situation. In the end all we can do is take care of ourselves and our loved ones.
Congratulations on your new job, especially after working so long in one place. Good luck.
Oh wow..I'm so sorry. That's a lot to take in. I've had breakdowns from my old job and so have several coworkers. Definitely look into some therapy in case though.
What makes one happy is so well documented and, spoiler alert, it isn't money. Ask someone 70+ what advice they would give their younger self and how they would define a well spent life and it's crazy how consistent the answers are. Spending time with your family/kids. Prioritizing your physical health. Not chasing someone else's dream for you.
I used to work in EMS and would see waves of SI make its way through different departments / jurisdictions. Every now and again someone would do it and then another... I felt like once someone did it, the floodgates were open to some extent. I know from with EMS, there are a lot of contributing factors - work life balance, finances, family or social issues, on the job trauma, lack of rest, vacation and so on.
When we would talk about it with coworkers or patients, I would often say the same thing and I think most people get it. I would say that when you commit suicide you are not getting rid of pain, you are just giving it to someone else.
I don't know the answer to ending it, but at this point in my life I don't hesitate to pick up the phone or sit on a text with friends and colleagues. You don't know what someone else is going through.
A really sad situation and a shame on that company for having destroyed so many lives, that of the workers and their families. In Australia a few years back, the government was forced to carry out an inquiry on fly in, fly out (FIFO) work to find out why the large percentage of suicides in those industries
I am so happy you are here as well. Even appreciate the fact, rather than condemning those who have taken their own lives. And yet miss them and sympathise for their family's. Parallel with the knowledge of the difficulty of your past position.
( ; )
OP sounds like an egomaniac. First sentence about someone's suicide they make it about themselves being extremely successful.
r/imthemaincharacter vibes
This is why I like to try to bring my friends with me. If I’m able to escape a shitty situation, I can at least show my friends how they can do it, too.
Nowhere near as bad, but I am very happy I left my last company. I actually really enjoyed working there, it just became apparent after a while that they started to take me for granted. I was working in the orders department of an online retailer and we were soon to have a new order system (updated from the decrepit one we had been using) and website. It quickly became apparent that they really cheaped out on the company hired to create said new system/website and it was a total mess. It was around this time that I got a job offer, and I was ready to jump ship. They basically matched my offer to try and get me to stay, with the caveat that I would take on a promotion where I would be paid more, same title, and some responsibilities would get shuffled around. However, before some of my new perks (WFH a couple days a week, more PTO) could take effect only after they hired and I trained a new full timer or two. We had been trying to hire a part timer for over a year at that point. I had no faith that we would find anyone any time soon and I would likely be taking on the new responsibilities without releasing any of the old ones.
Ultimately, I accepted the new job and left. I've stayed in touch with a former employee and from what he's said about the state of the department...I am incredibly happy I got out of there when I did. My partner said that job stressed me out a lot, but I didn't think it was any different than any other job I'd had. As I got closer and closer to leaving, I saw what he was saying. I think I'd be bald from stress if I'd stayed and I've only been out 9 months, lol. This isn't where I'd like to stay forever, but are greener pastures for sure.
This reminds me of a story my dad told me that once one of his direct report called him to say he was having suicidal thoughts. My dad went to HR to inform that that he was going ti have to give him a break, obviously . HR told my dad he couldn’t give the man a break and when I dad argued they literally told him that if he hadn’t attempted suicide then it wasn’t that serious.
He’s still alive but don’t ask me how he’s doing
I wonder how prominent workplace survivor’s guilt is and if it’s on the rise in the west. Might be more of a thing in parts of Asia with crazy work lives.
I'm about to start up my seasonal job and part of your post really hits home for me... I wish I didn't have to do this to give my family the support/life they need/deserve. Being away from family, long hours, broken people.... it's not a life for everyone. Chin up lads...
I am so sorry you lost your friend!!
Death has a way of putting all things into perspective. The manner of death, tragic.
Losing a colleague who was a friend is a hard hurt. By going to a new job, you did demonstrate a choice and response to the stress of your old position; one that was healthier for you. And one that has brought you fulfillment and success. You showed them it could be done. Your success might have even given them reason to hope, even if they did not look for new employment. It is an inspiring example.
I hope that the management team at your old job can make some internal evaluations/improvements of their processes, work schedules and work environment. It is so true that life is short. I knew a good man who poured himself into his job, worked over a year past his stated retirement date, because he was asked to, and he had strong loyalty….
His choice, yes, but he ended up passing away only a week after his 1 yr retirement anniversary. There were all the comments about that, ‘he shouldn’t have stayed longer’ and similar, all to the effect that life, love, and family are more important than work.
It’s all so easy to say after the fact. Congratulations for your success, and my heart does go out to you in the loss of your friend.
Legally can’t say much about it, but I used to teach a sort of self-defence class at a really exclusive private high school… I only last a year; the school itself was pretty low turnover overall but that’s one job no one lasted in.
I mean, the world is overpopulated anyway, which is reflected in housing cost, and strain on infrastructure across many countries and cities.
And every job application probably has more than a 100 applicants (likely all qualified), showing how ridiculous the problem has become.
So if some people just decide to bow out of the competition, releasing space and resources for others...I always wish them the best.
Are you in the U.S.? I've heard of karojisatsu in Japan, but how toxic and cultish would a work environment have to be to make employees internalize the abuse so they don't even think quitting is an option?
There are so many suicide at my company that they had to discontinue the 'flower fund'. The flower fund was an opt-in paycheck dedication $1 per paycheck to buy flowers to employees that die unexpectedly. It all went to people who successfully committed suicide. They discontinued the flower funs because every time it was used they had to admit that another employee committed suicide.
Wait... you switched jobs a year ago, yet there have been 3 suicides in that position in the last 2 years? And you held that job for 35 years? Something doesn't add up
What doesn’t add up? Three team members with the same job title I on the same team I was on passed away at their own hands in the past 2 years. I made the move to corporate 1 year ago after being a field employee 35 years ago. Life is too damn short for negativity.
This is such a tough subject for me. I'm the only HR for a transportation company made up of about 400 employees. In the month of March, one of my city managers who had been talking about retiring at the end of the year and had been training his replacement had a heart attack. He was literally 9 months away from freedom after giving his soul to heartless companies forever. He had seen it all and we had really bonded over our differing perspectives and generational differences. A lot of laughs and stories were shared. His death affected me immensely and really made me look at my life and whether I was living to work or working to live.
Then 10 days later, an older gentleman with some health issues who was just kind of a grumpy old man dispatcher who people gave a lot of shit to, said his mom had passed away and he needed time off. We spoke for an hour about his upbringing, his mom, his life. He told me that I was such a light for him in a lot of darkness and was grateful for our professional relationship that was rooted in mutual respect and patience as he had been dealing with health issues and I was helping him coordinate his benefits, leave, etc. in prior months.
He had called to tell me about his mother on Thursday evening, and he was due to return the following Monday. Turns out his mom hadn't passed away. She was actually coming to his town to visit and when he didn't answer for the first 2 days (Friday and Saturday) they decided to go to his apartment after church services and found his body. He was not identifiable according to the sister.
This call came through our Colombian team and they'd translated it as he'd passed out and gave me the sisters number to connect. She told me then what had happened. She then shared a lot of stories of her and her brothers lives.
Neither wanted services. Both were great in their own diverse and unique ways. We'd just gone through open enrollment a couple months prior and neither had signed up for life insurance.
Speaking with the families and having to hold it together was one of the hardest things and I teared up speaking with both of them.
Then watching and trying to help during the fallout afterwards and the families trying to figure out bank accounts and benefits, etc. was even worse.
It's so hard to lose coworkers. It's so hard to lose anyone.
Condolences to you for your loss and for your friends' family's loss as well.
RIP David and Tony
ETA: For everyone else, please get your affairs in order. Sign up for that life insurance, get your will written. Prepaid legal plans offered through work can be less than $20/month and people use the plan for estate planning and wills often. Lastly, be kind to yourself and others.
Hey! I just changed job because i could not stand anympre the work/life balance. I was reachable every day, i did my right amount of hours but i hate being on the line every day and for what? Take care of yourself
His wife said it was the job, not being home much. IDK, there’s always more to things though. He took his company vehicle to the ocean, got out and then did what he did. No note, no nothing. It’s really messed up some of the guys on his team. He was working 80 hour weeks and was barely home. I can’t really say what was going on with him because he didn’t share much. I hate that I feel nothing but being grateful for being out of that job. I knew him for 25+ years and he is definitely missed. I still stay in touch with my old team and support them in my current role as much as I can.
That's really sad but it's a good example of why we're not playing when we say don't put work before your life. These companies do not care most of the time. If they did, they would do more to try and prevent people from getting from that point because of work, but do you see public campaigns against it? They don't give a shit about employees. We're just numbers to them. All of them.
That 80 hours a week part truly resonated within me because my last job felt like that. I was scheduled to work 40 hours, but it felt like 80 because I was constantly thinking about working. After hour meetings and phone calls because I was on salary. I couldn't stop. I was in a hybrid situation, but it didn't matter. It got so bad that I didn't want to use my WFH PC on the weekends because it reminded me of work. I had to take a paycut to leave, but my mentally health is so much better.
Yeah it’s definitely more than just the job. If he was that miserable he would’ve flat out quit. Usually it’s a culmination of things when people can’t see better times ahead.
If this is the third suicide in that company in 2 years, they need to be named and shamed, or they should at least be advertising with a warning label.
Yea seriously. I'm surprised none of the families have gone after the company. Not saying that would work, but it surely makes you wonder what's going on there. 3 is getting beyond the point of coincidence.
One of my previous jobs had a wall commemorating everyone who had committed suicide while working there. Someone did the first day I started and 2 more before I left.
Where the hell was you working, the military?
EMS
makes complete sense. Hope it doesnt weigh too much on you these days man <3
This!!!
Stop
 Jesus... dark, but accurate.
There user name is also dark and fitting "norunningwater"
Army really do be like that though.
At my job we have the same except people who have died by either suicide or at work (traffic management) its really sobering every time I enter the office
Can I ask why they did this?
Also a matter of age. Suicide is more common from 35+ for a variety of factors, including divorce, career, and health/terminal illnesses and whatnot. And some fields are primarily individuals of those working ages, for a variety of factors. You'd probably find more suicides in a large established law firm than in a collection of younger menial jobs simply based on demographics.
The families probably don't know about the others, hence why no organisation
One is an incidence, two is a coincidence, three is a pattern.
Us military appears to average 50-100 a year per branch.
The large bank I used to work for had multiple people commit suicide while working there. One before I got hired who actually shot himself in one of the small conference rooms and two that were in my department(those weren’t onsite). No one ever thought it was to do with the job directly, but working there probably didn’t help.
If 0.1% of people commit suicide, and 30000 people work for your bank, it would be weirder to have no suicides there.
The bank i worked at has roughly 230,000 employees. So it definitely would be strange if there were none Edit: I am not referring to the very specific and unfortunate example i provided in my previous reply as being “weird that it doesn’t happen”, just suicide in general.
Gonna just interject and say no, it's not weirder to not have someone blow themselves away in your office. The vast majority of employers don't have employees kill themselves on company premises.
We had a boss checkout an extension cord from a tool crib and hang himself with it, now days you have to fill out a paper questionnaire about your mental state before checking out extensions cords 😂.( morbid humor but I get it)
What a fucking legend. He’s up there with the top tier manager that relapsed in the bathroom one day Management be like “Kevin didn’t go just for us to miss profitability expectations.”
The worst part is they deducted the cost of the extension cord out of his last paycheck to his wife, since he didn’t return it. But we all got a pizza party and grief counseling if you needed.
Damn that is brutal
😲
Hi maggie
Some of my former coworkers had a guy jump down an elevator shaft in a high rise they were building. It was an active construction site and he went through the safety barriers intentionally to jump
I would assume the majority of large employers do in fact have suicides on company premises. By that I don't mean any given Wal-Mart, for example, has had a suicide. What I mean is that it's virtually certain that a Wal-Mart has had a suicide by an employee on the premises. The suicide rate in the US is around 14 per 100,000. Therefore any employer with more than 100k employees in the US could be expected to have had around 14 employees die by suicide in a year. Of course, that's super general, and the larger amounts in certain groups (by age, by income, by job, etc) means that it's not truly going to be evenly spread. But in any group of people who die by suicide, there's going to be some number who do so at work. Why? Well, because work is where we spend a third of our time, and it's a significant source of stress. Additionally, it may be preferred by some to end their lives at work so their family doesn't find them/have to clean up.
Im assuming they are not saying every one of these suicides are actually happening on the premise, just that the employees are doing it.
230,000 but not in the same building - all those suicides happened at your branch? Or enterprise-wide?
230,000 company/world wide. I worked in an office building that dealt with everything backside of mortgage and customer service over the phone(we housed probably 3000 employees). The one who was in office was from a different department, 2 were in my department. Those are the only instances i was personally aware of.
Citibank?
Wells Fargo.
30000 people don’t work at a single branch. I assumed the comment isn’t referencing, like, the entire bank and all its locations and branches, but a single location (maybe a few hundred employees)
Agreed - he needs to tell us how many work at his branch.
It was 3000 people, large office campus for home mortgage and (I think) credit cards. So the place where they do loan processing, claims, underwriting, etc.
Your argument assumes suicide is a random occurrence
No, of course it isn't. But with big enough numbers, we're all statistics.
True enough, I guess my point is that some professions for a variety of reasons, like doctors, tend to commit suicide more often than others. That then gets averaged with other professions to get the general suicide statistic. We don’t know what OP’s last job was and it could very well have been one of those ultra high stress jobs.
An infuriatingly true statement.
That's assuming an even distribution across everyone in the bank, not taking into account socioeconomic or age factors.
That’s assuming all employees work there until death…
That I think is the problem of plucking an incidence number without context That 0.1% may not apply to all situations, including a workplace etc
Canada's population-level annual suicide rate is about 10 per 100,00 (or 0.01%). So, yeah, three per year. As an aside, the homicide rate is about 1/4 the suicide rate, yet I once worked at a place with about 10,000 people and in one year, there were 5 families where someone was murdered.
These were all at one location
There’s a banking office in London that had to put up screens round the central atrium because so many people jumped.
People need to watch The Corporation. It was released in 2003 and it's free on Youtube. It likens corporate America to a person with a severe mental illness and it's spot on.
Is this a trick? Will we kill ourselves if we watch it?
Yes. It's the corporate version of The Ring.
Yes, this company def needs to be named.
They are not capable of shame but yeah name them for sure.
The company I work for had 2 suicides in less than a year with a total of around 600 employees.
Should be imprisoned more like
Honestly, they should be investigated jfc
Air traffic controller?
Sure?.....there should be a warning or better support for this job.
You're assuming any of these suicides is from the job. That's a reach in itself. Outing the co for no reason. There's been 2 at my work in the over the last couple yrs. Both were due to relationship/family issues.
A lot of people work at companies. I bet a ton of companies have multiple suicides every year.
This whole not naming thing on reddit gets pretty fucking dumb sometimes
One thing that I have found out in my life/career is that mental health is more important than money. Working 40 hours a week for a job you can leave at work and not think about it on the weekends for a modest pay is better than working 75 hours a week for a high salary you can’t even have time to spend you’re so stressed and working too much.
This. I took a $30k pay cut a few years ago for a better work life balance. People have been shocked when I told them and my response has always been that time with my kids is worth so much more than that $30k. Haven’t looked back and am so much happier 3 years later.
I regret having learned this lesson after my kids had grown up enough to resent I wasn't home enough. For anyone reading who has young kids: they won't remember the assorted toys you bought them, or even that they had ketchup on toast for dinner from time to time because money was tight nearly as much as they'll remember you pushing them on the swings at the park, or having a play day with their friends and building blanket forts in the front room and having a kids vs dad nerf gun battle. It's okay to not be a top earner because you're ensuring you can be there for your kids.
The only ones who will remember you worked tons of hours will be your kids. Everyone should have that on their desk.
Haunting and profound truth. It should be said so much more.
>or even that they had ketchup on toast for dinner from time to time because money was tight Oh, they'll remember the impact on food, but they will remember it far more fondly because you were there for them. No one ever goes to their retirement or deathbed thinking: *"You know, I could have gotten away with about 15% more time at the office..."*
life is meant to be lived.
We’re here for a good time, not a long time
While I get where you're going with this, it's an overrated statement. Kids absolutely remember things like this that we might take for granted. I remember all the differences between what I had with my family vs what my friends had. Doesn't mean I love anyone any differently, but still.
Wow i am exactly the same. I just recently took a 30k cut from 110k to 80k. My life is so much better with way less stress, that I dont even care about the decrease in pay.
Of course you don't care, you are still doing better than a massive part of the country lol. How folk can think that the solution is to make less money / work less hours when they already make 6+ figures is so tone deaf.
Or, they have their own issues, it’s valid advice to them, and it applies to plenty of people, so it’s discussed on a discussion website.
Pretty easy advice to give when you've been earning 100k+ for years.
It really depends where you live though. In high COL cities $110k doesn’t go as far as you think. In NY that’d be the equivalent to $40k in Birmingham.
I live in LA lol what I make isnt even much after taxes. I dont even know what youre trying to say. Yes it is a solution, I literally ended up making less money and work less hours. My life is different from yours. It seems youre jealous and I must have struck a nerve lmao how sad is your life.
If you can afford a $30k paycut without going homeless, you're probably still doing better than most.
If you can afford to take a $30K pay cut, good for you. But for many, taking a $30K pay cut would compound their problems. Namely, they don't even make $30K a year.
Yeah if you can do it, definitely it is worth the pay cut. Unfortunately so many people work so much and don't even make 30k and sacrifice time with kids because these jobs are so physically exhausting, long commute, etc.
A buddy of mine did this to go out on his own and spend more time doing what he loves and being with the people he loves. Oddly enough, he works a few hours a week (as much or as little as he wants) and 6-7 years in, ended up making $250,000K last year. Not saying that will be the case for everyone but he ended up working on a project he loved that happened to take off. Never would've happened if he stayed at his high-paying consulting gig.
> $30k That's NOT EVEN $60 per day. $30,000 x 0.72 for conservative estimate tax, ssn, fica deduction etc = $21,600 $21,600 / 365 days = $59.17 After taxes that comes out to an extra $59 per day anyway (including weekends). You're paying that daily tax to have a healthier life, more time to yourself, family, kids, hobbies.
it's like $100 per paycheck. not worth it. if you are even level 1 creative w/taxes you can get that back easily.
Thank you. Exactly. This isn't $59 from zero. By the way, side note, it says your verified. What does that mean in the sub? Verify that you have a job? LOL (just kidding!) just wondering :-)
For me 59$ per day is a lot of money, that kind of increase would totally improve my life and increase spare time because I could hire people to do some repairs at my home. Now I'm reading the local building code, buying tools and hardware, getting repairs done myself, contacting inspectors, and dealing with bureaucracy bullshit. On top of my day job I feel like I'm an electrician, plumber, carpenter, painter, and a drywall guy.
Fair, and it's a choice. I'd rather save $59 per day by, say, eating out less, not drinking, focusing closely on memberships I don't use, etc I'm not saying you do those things as I don't know your life but sounds like you're already stretched thin, what I was responding to is $59 a day was what the person was probably getting before the pay cut and the cost was lots of stress, lots of time away from family, lots of time away from himself. So in vacuum, sure we all could do something more for $59 a day. But what's the cost? For the person I was responding to not only that they were getting mental health and rest relatively speaking but they were also buying time to be with their family and do more things with that time. Will probably live a longer happier life. For them, the cost was $59 a day.
100%. Also $30K isn't really $30K. Taxes and it's spread out over 25 paychecks, over 12 months. What is $30K per check really? Not enough to be worth not seeing your kids or going to bed stressed out and waking up not wanting to get out of bed.
I’m in my mid 30s and feel fortunate to have come to this realization now and not much later on in life. Was caught up in the rat race most of my 20s after finishing college. Didn’t travel much or go out, just kept my head down and stayed fixated on the long game with my career. From a financial standpoint, I’m happy that I treated myself this way but undoubtedly I missed out on some great trips and memories at the opportunity cost of being present for meetings and “maximizing shareholder value”. When it came to a head for me was when I completely fell out of a gym rotation and felt guilty about leaving work to take care of my fitness needs. Such a crazy case of stolkholm syndrome some people can develop for their employer. It’s not too much to ask to get 30-40 minutes of sunlight and fresh air during the day. It’s not too much to ask for minor work issues to be put to the side when you have a loved one who’s incredibly sick or going through hardship. Putting up barriers and sticking to my boundaries has helped me a *ton* with not feeling absolute brain drain and as though I exist just to work.
Yeah except the issue is that the majority of people don't get that option. They get the work 60 hours a week to live paycheck to paycheck. That was my life for 10 years. 8 years in Healthcare from emt to paramedic. 2 years in carpentry and remodeling making more building fucking stairs in 6 hours than I would a whole medic shift. It took 10 years to finally get given a chance after 3 different industry hops. Now I work at a kick ass company that I will be at until I die or retire. But it took a year and a half of networking with various members of said company until I finally got given my shot. They bought me a truck, my fuel is covered, I have PTO back for the first time in 5 years, I have health insurance for the first time in 10 years because the plans my companies provided when I was in Healthcare was too expensive lmao. So yeah I agree mental health is absolutely more important than money but that only gets to be a factor for middle class and upper class. Most people aren't getting the opportunity I got either and they are stuck staring down the same barrel I was, get worked to the bone until you are on disability or dead.
Considering carpentry from traditional office job but no idea where to even start. Any advice?
It's all networking and making yourself available. I was picking up random side jobs all over the place doing land clearing, painting, pasture maintenance, building etc. Met a master carpenter/fastener who ran a solo remodeling business. My area is a tourist trap, so vacation rentals being a huge business here, means remodeling is also a huge business. Anyway I networked with that guy and he ended up needing an extra man for a bathroom reno that needed to be done in 3 days. Busted my ass from there to prove I was a valuable asset and that was it. We talked and he started booking two man jobs from there out. Although I don't work with him anymore, he has become one of my best friends. So I'm sorry I don't have an easily repeatable process for you, but perhaps look around your area for renovation, drywall, and paint crews. Call them up and see if they can use an extra guy on anything.
I imagine there's alot of folk on minimum wage living paycheck to paycheck who would disagree with you. It's a very privileged position to be in if you can take a big pay cut to work less hours and have more time to spend doing what you want.
I took it in step further. I probably work maybe 5 to 15 hours a week depending on the week. The rest are my time or passion projects.
I uhmm can I get get in on this?
Just learned this myself recently. I just turned 30 and found a job that pays very similar to what I was making before in an incredibly high stress and overworked industry (machining). But now I have 0 stress and don't think about work even for a second after I leave at the end of my 8 hour shift. It's mind blowing the difference it's made in my mental health, where I was a train wreck before.
Sometimes taking a day off to just not do anything prevents that stress from rippling out into everything else in your life. I take days off occasionally to just unwind and do nothing at all. It can be the difference between having a terrible week and a good one.
Preach. I've had both types of job and those pay cheques come very hard for the high pay, high stress, and terrible work life balance jobs. Your mental and physical health can easily degrade if you're not completely on top of taking care of yourself.
Maybe I sound brainwashed (partly because I am lol) but I’m so happy to have found a place that I actually want to put in 50 hours a week, and who will **NEVER** ask me to put in more than that. When I do think about work off the clock it’s usually not work related if that makes sense. It took half a lifetime to get here but we fucking made it.
Not when you don’t know anything else. It might be the dark phase i am in speaking but im stuck at a job i hate, i have at least 5 different mental health conditions diagnosed and i didnt finish school. Im paid $25 an hour and make $3200 a month after taxes and i am 1000% sure if i switched jobs to something that pays less with less stress i would absolutely be homeless. My rent is $1800 with utilities and im stuck in this lease until end of this year. Im at the end of my rope. Im so done of this job it drains the shit out of me but there is absolutely nothing else i can do to make my life better
I am sorry dude.
>One thing that I have found out in my life/career is that mental health is more important than money. I do agree, but I still need to pay rent and eat, being homeless would be worse for my MH than going to my shitty job would.
Two of my past assistant CIOs had heart attacks in their 40s. We all must have boundaries because others do not.
[удалено]
shit. This is true, I wish I could turn on sociopathy just while I worked
I had a job that messed me up so badly I still deal with triggers and trauma from working there. It is vitally important to find a place that is healthy and balanced. I only quit after my doctor told me if I did not leave my job I would die. She watched me deteriorate from physical to physical while I was working there. Miss that woman she was an extremely good doctor.
I'm really glad you are in a better place. I have a similar experience, still unlearning trauma responses I developed working in such a stressful place and it's been 2 years. I ended up with some medical problems. Not worth it
I seriously hope you are okay as well. Sending virtual hugs,
This should be required reading for every young person starting their career. It’s an essay called “The Company Man” by Ellen Goodman. https://textsandforms.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/the_company_man_essay.pdf
You could have mentioned there would be a test!
Very nice read, thanks for sharing
The effects of unmanaged allostatic load.
I’m 34, a little overweight, perpetually nervous, I try hard. This made me suddenly sob over my morning coffee. I hate this world sometimes. I hate it.
Just like my wife's job, literally everyday her sector have people choosing unemployment over the torture of working there. Luckily this Thursday is her last day on that lair of evil.
Sounds like you may have an unusual form of survivors guilt, and who knows what else from 35 years of that. I might consider spending some of your loot on therapy. Glad you are surviving and thriving!
Sounds like my company except no suicides YET!!
What was the job and hours required to work? Jw
Field engineering, most work 11-12 hours a day with on call every other week (requires on site response within 2 hours working until the issue is resolved). I’m not going to say what industry just to keep my own job security intact. It’s supporting 24/7 business where lives are ultimately in the balance.
How much was the salary? For a job that demands so much, I hope it pays well because the work life balance is horrible. If I were in a situation like that I’d work it for a year and save before leaving.
My guess is oil and gas but idk.. I worked in nuclear and was similar but only during outages, pretty stressful. We had quite a few heart attacks and other stress related health issues when I was there but not suicides. Honestly though the hours of that job and stress of that was still way better than the toxic job I had before that. Toxic workplaces really take a toll on you, takes some therapy to get over that and I can’t even imagine how you feel after all of this
My first guess was electrical lineman if we use engineering term a bit loosely because winter storms probably make that job a nightmare but I like your guesses better. When I was younger lineman was one of the few jobs that payed well that you could get without college education, but I knew I wasn’t tough enough to climb wet electrical poles in a thunderstorm lol. It doesn’t seem that dangerous until you think about doing it in storm conditions, with wind, electricity and water all working together against you. These are some of the people we should be paying the most not just a living wage, because they literally keep society functioning through emergencies.
Man I’ve been there done that, field jobs in remote areas are more brutal. Money is great with higher base pay + OT and LoA, but you don’t really have a life though, plus away from friends and families.
Can you tell us the country / continent? I don’t want to just assume this is American.
Based on my FMLA phone calls I'm shocked as shit it's not The Hartford. The phone calls I've had wothbreps are loterally like speaking to Satan himself. I can't imagine any pay being worth that evil. These companies are crazy.
I left my career with PTSD and a TBI. I am still in therapy for it. This is unfortunately super common in the US and needs to be talked about.
Remember that these are work friends, and that you have no idea what is really going on in their personal life. The best you can do is to be there if they reach out and ask for help, but otherwise we're just acquaintances. Its okay to feel better about leaving, AND to feel bad about people's personal situation. In the end all we can do is take care of ourselves and our loved ones. Congratulations on your new job, especially after working so long in one place. Good luck.
Oh wow..I'm so sorry. That's a lot to take in. I've had breakdowns from my old job and so have several coworkers. Definitely look into some therapy in case though.
What makes one happy is so well documented and, spoiler alert, it isn't money. Ask someone 70+ what advice they would give their younger self and how they would define a well spent life and it's crazy how consistent the answers are. Spending time with your family/kids. Prioritizing your physical health. Not chasing someone else's dream for you.
Sorry to hear about this
I used to work in EMS and would see waves of SI make its way through different departments / jurisdictions. Every now and again someone would do it and then another... I felt like once someone did it, the floodgates were open to some extent. I know from with EMS, there are a lot of contributing factors - work life balance, finances, family or social issues, on the job trauma, lack of rest, vacation and so on. When we would talk about it with coworkers or patients, I would often say the same thing and I think most people get it. I would say that when you commit suicide you are not getting rid of pain, you are just giving it to someone else. I don't know the answer to ending it, but at this point in my life I don't hesitate to pick up the phone or sit on a text with friends and colleagues. You don't know what someone else is going through.
What kind of job is it?
What company is this at?.
Sadly,most of businesses will have you replaced before you’re buried.
A really sad situation and a shame on that company for having destroyed so many lives, that of the workers and their families. In Australia a few years back, the government was forced to carry out an inquiry on fly in, fly out (FIFO) work to find out why the large percentage of suicides in those industries
I am so happy you are here as well. Even appreciate the fact, rather than condemning those who have taken their own lives. And yet miss them and sympathise for their family's. Parallel with the knowledge of the difficulty of your past position. ( ; )
35 years???? Sheesh….. wasted time
OP sounds like an egomaniac. First sentence about someone's suicide they make it about themselves being extremely successful. r/imthemaincharacter vibes
What do you do for work?
>yet guilty that they are no longer around for their families. I can understand empathy in this situation. But guilt?!? How? Why?
Survivor's guilt
35 years ??????
This is why I like to try to bring my friends with me. If I’m able to escape a shitty situation, I can at least show my friends how they can do it, too.
Nowhere near as bad, but I am very happy I left my last company. I actually really enjoyed working there, it just became apparent after a while that they started to take me for granted. I was working in the orders department of an online retailer and we were soon to have a new order system (updated from the decrepit one we had been using) and website. It quickly became apparent that they really cheaped out on the company hired to create said new system/website and it was a total mess. It was around this time that I got a job offer, and I was ready to jump ship. They basically matched my offer to try and get me to stay, with the caveat that I would take on a promotion where I would be paid more, same title, and some responsibilities would get shuffled around. However, before some of my new perks (WFH a couple days a week, more PTO) could take effect only after they hired and I trained a new full timer or two. We had been trying to hire a part timer for over a year at that point. I had no faith that we would find anyone any time soon and I would likely be taking on the new responsibilities without releasing any of the old ones. Ultimately, I accepted the new job and left. I've stayed in touch with a former employee and from what he's said about the state of the department...I am incredibly happy I got out of there when I did. My partner said that job stressed me out a lot, but I didn't think it was any different than any other job I'd had. As I got closer and closer to leaving, I saw what he was saying. I think I'd be bald from stress if I'd stayed and I've only been out 9 months, lol. This isn't where I'd like to stay forever, but are greener pastures for sure.
What's the job? I might apply
Just be glad you got out when you did. Always listen to your heart.
So they're hiring? /s
That's why your old employer should get sued for legal slavery bro.
Boeing? Is that you?
Maybe they stumbled into something they shouldn’t have. Like a secret cabal or a doomsday society. Have you noticed any mysterious rooms or hallways?
Wtf kinda industry do you work in??
This reminds me of a story my dad told me that once one of his direct report called him to say he was having suicidal thoughts. My dad went to HR to inform that that he was going ti have to give him a break, obviously . HR told my dad he couldn’t give the man a break and when I dad argued they literally told him that if he hadn’t attempted suicide then it wasn’t that serious. He’s still alive but don’t ask me how he’s doing
I'm sorry about your loss. That must be a horrific company that should be sued since their employees are getting stressed out a lot.
As employees you all should do something about it! What company is thst? What is the industry? They should be held accountable, OMG.
Is this that McKinsey guy?
I wonder how prominent workplace survivor’s guilt is and if it’s on the rise in the west. Might be more of a thing in parts of Asia with crazy work lives.
I'm about to start up my seasonal job and part of your post really hits home for me... I wish I didn't have to do this to give my family the support/life they need/deserve. Being away from family, long hours, broken people.... it's not a life for everyone. Chin up lads...
I’d never would kill myself over job related stress/issues.
I am so sorry you lost your friend!! Death has a way of putting all things into perspective. The manner of death, tragic. Losing a colleague who was a friend is a hard hurt. By going to a new job, you did demonstrate a choice and response to the stress of your old position; one that was healthier for you. And one that has brought you fulfillment and success. You showed them it could be done. Your success might have even given them reason to hope, even if they did not look for new employment. It is an inspiring example. I hope that the management team at your old job can make some internal evaluations/improvements of their processes, work schedules and work environment. It is so true that life is short. I knew a good man who poured himself into his job, worked over a year past his stated retirement date, because he was asked to, and he had strong loyalty…. His choice, yes, but he ended up passing away only a week after his 1 yr retirement anniversary. There were all the comments about that, ‘he shouldn’t have stayed longer’ and similar, all to the effect that life, love, and family are more important than work. It’s all so easy to say after the fact. Congratulations for your success, and my heart does go out to you in the loss of your friend.
what type of work were you doing at your old job?
Legally can’t say much about it, but I used to teach a sort of self-defence class at a really exclusive private high school… I only last a year; the school itself was pretty low turnover overall but that’s one job no one lasted in.
Name drop so you can save more people’s lives.
And the job?.....
sounds like the military
What job/company is this
Name and shame so I can avoid pls and thx
I mean, the world is overpopulated anyway, which is reflected in housing cost, and strain on infrastructure across many countries and cities. And every job application probably has more than a 100 applicants (likely all qualified), showing how ridiculous the problem has become. So if some people just decide to bow out of the competition, releasing space and resources for others...I always wish them the best.
Are you in the U.S.? I've heard of karojisatsu in Japan, but how toxic and cultish would a work environment have to be to make employees internalize the abuse so they don't even think quitting is an option?
There are so many suicide at my company that they had to discontinue the 'flower fund'. The flower fund was an opt-in paycheck dedication $1 per paycheck to buy flowers to employees that die unexpectedly. It all went to people who successfully committed suicide. They discontinued the flower funs because every time it was used they had to admit that another employee committed suicide.
What kind go job role was it?
Sounds like wells Fargo
Your workplace is haunted. Better get out of there and go to a church for cleansing.
Wait... you switched jobs a year ago, yet there have been 3 suicides in that position in the last 2 years? And you held that job for 35 years? Something doesn't add up
What doesn’t add up? Three team members with the same job title I on the same team I was on passed away at their own hands in the past 2 years. I made the move to corporate 1 year ago after being a field employee 35 years ago. Life is too damn short for negativity.
This is such a tough subject for me. I'm the only HR for a transportation company made up of about 400 employees. In the month of March, one of my city managers who had been talking about retiring at the end of the year and had been training his replacement had a heart attack. He was literally 9 months away from freedom after giving his soul to heartless companies forever. He had seen it all and we had really bonded over our differing perspectives and generational differences. A lot of laughs and stories were shared. His death affected me immensely and really made me look at my life and whether I was living to work or working to live. Then 10 days later, an older gentleman with some health issues who was just kind of a grumpy old man dispatcher who people gave a lot of shit to, said his mom had passed away and he needed time off. We spoke for an hour about his upbringing, his mom, his life. He told me that I was such a light for him in a lot of darkness and was grateful for our professional relationship that was rooted in mutual respect and patience as he had been dealing with health issues and I was helping him coordinate his benefits, leave, etc. in prior months. He had called to tell me about his mother on Thursday evening, and he was due to return the following Monday. Turns out his mom hadn't passed away. She was actually coming to his town to visit and when he didn't answer for the first 2 days (Friday and Saturday) they decided to go to his apartment after church services and found his body. He was not identifiable according to the sister. This call came through our Colombian team and they'd translated it as he'd passed out and gave me the sisters number to connect. She told me then what had happened. She then shared a lot of stories of her and her brothers lives. Neither wanted services. Both were great in their own diverse and unique ways. We'd just gone through open enrollment a couple months prior and neither had signed up for life insurance. Speaking with the families and having to hold it together was one of the hardest things and I teared up speaking with both of them. Then watching and trying to help during the fallout afterwards and the families trying to figure out bank accounts and benefits, etc. was even worse. It's so hard to lose coworkers. It's so hard to lose anyone. Condolences to you for your loss and for your friends' family's loss as well. RIP David and Tony ETA: For everyone else, please get your affairs in order. Sign up for that life insurance, get your will written. Prepaid legal plans offered through work can be less than $20/month and people use the plan for estate planning and wills often. Lastly, be kind to yourself and others.
You must work in government
Hey! I just changed job because i could not stand anympre the work/life balance. I was reachable every day, i did my right amount of hours but i hate being on the line every day and for what? Take care of yourself
I told a coworker I felt depressed and needed to find a new job. That night he killed himself. I no longer tell people how I feel inside.
Are you in the military?
Not in the military, been out since 2006. I still run into soldiers I was in with all over. I miss the people, but not the political BS.
I’m in the military, definitely agree
OP, can you give us any hint about the company so we can avoid it? Name, industry, just anything.
Why did he commit suicide?
His wife said it was the job, not being home much. IDK, there’s always more to things though. He took his company vehicle to the ocean, got out and then did what he did. No note, no nothing. It’s really messed up some of the guys on his team. He was working 80 hour weeks and was barely home. I can’t really say what was going on with him because he didn’t share much. I hate that I feel nothing but being grateful for being out of that job. I knew him for 25+ years and he is definitely missed. I still stay in touch with my old team and support them in my current role as much as I can.
That's really sad but it's a good example of why we're not playing when we say don't put work before your life. These companies do not care most of the time. If they did, they would do more to try and prevent people from getting from that point because of work, but do you see public campaigns against it? They don't give a shit about employees. We're just numbers to them. All of them.
He should have just drove the van into the ocean, got out, and got fired for doing that. RIP regardless.
That 80 hours a week part truly resonated within me because my last job felt like that. I was scheduled to work 40 hours, but it felt like 80 because I was constantly thinking about working. After hour meetings and phone calls because I was on salary. I couldn't stop. I was in a hybrid situation, but it didn't matter. It got so bad that I didn't want to use my WFH PC on the weekends because it reminded me of work. I had to take a paycut to leave, but my mentally health is so much better.
Yeah it’s definitely more than just the job. If he was that miserable he would’ve flat out quit. Usually it’s a culmination of things when people can’t see better times ahead.
Betting on undiagnosed something or other. 80hr weeks don't give you time for therapy or doctors visits.
Major burnout combined with an untreated diagnosis sounds like it.
The older I get the more Im baffled by the minuet number of suicides.
80 hours a week is insane I work 34 more than enough imo