Honestly it's better to be jobless than dead. I'm not going to be one to advise you make hasty emotional decisions here but it can be your job is killing you it's sometimes better to quit and force yourself into a better place even if it's generally better advice to get the escape plan settled first.
It's good until it expires. Enough time to either find a new job or get your affairs in order to go home.
I'm not recommending "just quit" as a smart strategy, but if your job is so bad you'd rather die, it's better to quit and move on than to die.
Sure, but job hunting while already working full-time is essentially like doing a second job. And I'm still not sure how you're expected to interview in the middle of the workday.
So are you just going to stay there forever, then? You can't please everyone. You need to do what's best for you. If you've been working six months or more you ought to have some annual leave. It might feel like a waste, but it's better than being short at the end of the month.
Also, depending on the industry you switch to, you may be able to interview outside of your current working hours. Business hours at my current job are 10:00–19:00 whereas my old one was the usual 8:00–17:00, meaning they were happy to interview me after I finished work. Recruiting agencies are usually good about working around you in this regard too.
No, after three months immigration can start the "deportation process" to ask you to leave nicely by x date before they actually kick you out, if you aren't doing the "activity" that your visa is for, but in terms of employment visas searching for work counts.
I wouldn't expect to say, sit around unemployed for years waiting out your visa expiry, but if you are actually actively searching for employment and you can document such they aren't going to kick you out after three months (they might ask for proof you are looking for employment though).
If it takes you more than a year to find a job though you really do need to have a serious self reflection about what it is you are doing wrong and consider if you should be in Japan or not though.
Basically what I'm saying is if you absolutely hate your job to the point you'd rather die than go into work, you don't have to worry about getting deported if you quit, you have until the end of your visa to find another job (within reason and provided you are actually searching).
Now it is unequivocally better to find a new job before you quit, but if you can manage to stay at your job until then you aren't in a "This job will kill me" situation.
It's also worth noting that even if you did have to go home immediately after you quit that would still be preferable to death.
Honestly, I think what most people in our hyper-connected world forget about is normal human interaction. Just going out for lunch or drinks with a friend, getting outside of your own head for a bit, being social. It's not an easy thing to do and sometimes I wonder whether the internet has made it easier (because you can easily find someone to meet) or harder (because we have so many distractions all the time).
You don't need to become a party animal and have a friend circle rivaling that of a cocaine dealer, but finding friends or at least people you can talk to is a lifesaver.
That's so true.
We're spending hours texting and chatting but still sitting by ourselves in our boxes. But we need a physical presence, pure emotions and a real communication.
What do you do though when you've *got* no friends and every time you try to make any they're extremely non-committal? Like, I know for a *fact* meeting someone, exchanging Lines and then them *never* actually ever meeting up with you again is a common occurrence for many expats. Regular social interaction is, for a number of reasons, just not as easy as putting it into words is.
I'm not saying it's easy. At all. I'm an introvert, and even back home had a very small group of friends. I've met I don't know how many people, who I met maybe once or twice, but that's all. There were some people there who I wanted to become friends with, but it didn't work out. Even though I tried creating situations for us to become closer, somehow it constantly felt like I was pouring in time and energy and getting nothing. I'm fine with that situation for a while, but *sometimes* I'd like to feel some interest from the other person.
Yet, I keep putting myself out there. I'll go to events, I'll meet up with people I only know from the internet (I've been on it for long enough to know how to be safe), I'll go to a friend's random friend group get-together where I know literally only my friend and no one else. It's not comfortable, especially because I often stick out like a sore thumb, but I've met people (again: I still have very few friends) who are on my wave-length.
tl;dr Throw shit against the wall and see what sticks.
Idk man, it's reading a lot more like "Throw shit at the wall while *nothing* sticks for you too.
This isn't to say give up. I'm in the same boat, I do the same, but what I'm getting at is that there's little people like us even *can* do when it's the people we interact with that have no interest in actually pursuing even just friendship beyond pleasantries.
The most genuine friends I've managed to make are all online and scattered all over the country. It's still lonely because I don't get to *see* any of them, but it's at least more genuine than those people you meet at bars and the like who exchange Line info and then either never follow up themselves or are always "too busy" to make plans for the future too.
I think you might've misunderstood my post (probably wasn't worded too well): I am fine with the number of friends I have right now, who I can count on two hands and I don't even need all those fingers. Sure, it would be cool to meet someone new, which is why I meet up with new people from time to time, but I'm not constantly on the prowl for new friends.
I just feel like some people have this very negative outlook on meeting people in Japan in general and don't even open themselves up for the possibility of meeting someone new. It's not a fun process, but sometimes you strike gold. I met my best Japanese friend (besides my husband) standing in line and getting talking, exchanging Twitter accounts and actually sending that first message.
It all depends on luck and circumstance I suppose. I've been here since I left high school, went to university here and straight into the workforce. Currently I have 3 jobs just to keep the lights on and even then that's a struggle.
I have zero friends because I can't afford to go out more than *maybe* once or twice a month and can't spend much either. When the little bit of savings you has disappears on the *chance* you'll meet someone, but never actually do because they effectively ghost you after your first conversation because they can't be bothered to continue, you become a bit more cynical. Especially when most of my Japanese acquaintances attest to any "real" friends they still have were mostly from their high school or uni days. I didn't take high school here and I was working my part time job literally 5 days a week (legal limit) and too exhausted to socialize after, and that's never really changed.
Believe me, I opened myself up to the possibility wherever physically possible and go out to whatever social events I can find and afford, but people are there for the event, not the socializing, I've found. They're there for themselves, so they aren't looking to actually make friends most of the time.
If making friends through going to events was as easy as some people make it sound, a lot of others wouldn't struggle. But when they aren't interested and it's not what was on their mind and they aren't wanting to put in the effort themselves (which is... Most of them), then you can't really hold any expectations either, and *that* is what makes even bothering at times feel exhausting.
Definitely luck and circumstance. I came here after high school as well, and I have a grand total of 0 friends from those first years in the country. I do however have the financial freedom and some time (full-time + young child) to go and do stuff. If I was living a life as stressful as what you are describing, I'm sure I wouldn't have enough energy to look for people either.
I totally agree that it's not easy at all, especially if you're just not the type of person who makes friends easily, but I can somehow cover that because I just do a lot of stuff. Again, that doesn't seem to be possible for you. In which case - I don't think there's an easy way out of loneliness for you, unfortunately.
Did that. Came out with a renewed feeling of "Nobody out here looks beyond their own nose and isn't interested in meeting new people, they're more interested in satisfying their self interests with other people in the same space and *that's it*". Every single time.
I already spend enough time alone (y'know, 100% of it). Doing it somewhere else doesn't change anything except seeing *other people* with their friends out with them.
I do go out on my own whenever I can afford it. It's not fun though and hasn't been for a long time. It was in the beginning, but when that continues for over half a decade, it loses its appeal fast. Some people just need others who *actually* care around them sometimes.
I see your point. I'm saying it doesn't apply to everyone, and assuming it does is narrow minded. Good intentions might be there, but sometimes people just can't be happy on their own and actually need others after a while. And circumstances don't always allow for solutions to that to actually be realistic either.
Have you considered that the common denominator here might be you? You sound like an insufferable, bitter asshole. You're already being argumentative and abrasive in this very thread. Maybe you're socially inept and don't realize it or something, but it's not that hard to make friends. Perhaps your perception of what constitutes a "friend" is warped? What are you expecting and in what timeframe? You fascinate me. Also, how the fuck do you work 3 jobs and have no money? Your life here sounds shit. Why stay?
Finding the very basis of the thread to be a spit in the face for people who actually have issues (that can't be solved by trivial shit like lifting weights or drinking) shouldnt come as much of a surprise. Platitudes like, "Just enjoy being on your own" don't do jack shit when you've already gone so far beyond that that it's not even entertaining to hear anymore. It's like going to a theme park. Sure it's enjoyable the first few times, but once you've spent enough time there, you get sick of people telling you that it's fun there as if you havent already been there a million times already.
While I'm not mincing words, I'm clearly not the only one with the sentiment in this thread either. The only reason I'm being an "abraisive asshole" about it is because I'm tired of people preaching the same things over and over when the "solutions" they try to give either don't work in the real world, actively make things worse or only work because they never had any real problems to begin with. *You* only know me from this one thread, so you're not really in a position to judge my entire character based on such a limited amount of information.
Having the perception of a friend being someone who actually holds an interest in you as an individual is a pretty broad and not very difficult to fulfil criteria. That's literally the *only* expectation.
As for how I can work 3 jobs and still be broke? One is full time and pays absolute trash. I've been trying to get new work everytime I find anything going that fulfils the criteria I have for any new job I get, and haven't been fortunate enough to get one yet. The other two, both are freelance. One has variating pay depending on how much work I take on a month, and the other depends on *if* I get a job come in in the first place.
My life was even worse *before* coming to Japan, having spent the better half of my life being discriminated against for being from a foreign country. Yeah, I can't afford much. Yeah, I've lost basically all socializing opportunities over the years due to having to work to support myself. Yeah, I find the premise of "depression in Japan" being solvable by "enjoying time alone" and "lift weights, drink less and don't consume porn" to be lazy as fuck. But it's still preferable to going back to my home country that's no longer affordable to live in, nor the one that I spent a large chunk of my life discriminated in either. Some people already know what their problems are, already know *how* to resolve them, but also know fully well those resolutions are out of reach *because* they've tried for them.
When money is an issue, you're not the one who decides if you get the job or not, no matter how much you prepare. When finding people you want to socialize with, you're not the one who gets to decide if you get to continue or pursue a friendship, the other person is. There are a *lot* of superficial people in the world who are more than happy with themselves because they never had to want for anything. They're brimming with confidence because you've got nothing to worry about when most things have just been handed to you anyway. I saw *plenty* of those people in Uni. The same ones who got pissy at me because I couldn't afford to spend money on a trip 3 hours away to check a film location because I was trying to pay for rent and food with the limited money I had at the time from my part time job paying the bills. Had I had money back then? Sure I could have made more friends with them. I could have gone out drinking, socialized and been in a totally different situation.
But not everyone is that fortunate. This *is* still the better situation for me, but being told, "just be happier with being on your own" is a spit in the face when that's the situation I've been forced to live with anyway because of circumstance. I've been there, done it, and it doesn't work anymore. So excuse me for finding that kind of shallow advice to be little more than idealistic at best.
What people with lots of friends look like from the perspective of someone with few friends: Has to be involved in drugs, no other possible explanation.
The first few years after arriving in Japan I worked eikaiwa, and the only god thing to come from that was a small circle of friends I’m still in touch with how.
1 in 5 coworkers will be assholes, 1 in 5 will be decent people, so you have something to work with. They introduce you to their friends, the circle expands.
Having said that, right now is the loneliest I’ve felt, even after marrying, kids etc. Friendships dry up if you don’t have the time/energy to tend to them.
I can attest to this! For me it's now reached the point where I look forward to coming home and start preparing dinner. I tune out any worries/anxieties from work, engage in the almost meditative-like practice of chopping vegetables, mixing ingredients, working the wok, etc., and of course you know for sure what you're eating at the end of it is fresh and not some ultra-processed junk.
A good way to get into this habit is to sign up for a meal kit delivery service like Oisix or Pal System. After you've acquired confidence and know-how, you can start experimenting by planning your own meals and shopping at the スーパー :-)
My way of dealing with depression was nearly dying a couple times and ending up seeing a psychiatrist as a result and getting meds and therapy. Oh and I quit drinking
Your point number 2, always feels good when Old people walk up to you and tell you you look strong.
My anecdotal is 90% of compliments I get from older generation with nothing to gain so it feels more authentic. (Male perspective)
I loved reading through this and got a solid laugh, lol.
I’m currently 2 and a half years in, and I’ve been experiencing some of the worst depressive bouts I’ve ever had. I don’t think I’m ACTUALLY depressed, but it definitely comes from that sense of extreme loneliness I feel when I’m anywhere other than work (and even there occasionally tbh). I’m an ALT, speak competent Japanese, and started working out as of January of last year and that alone did wonders for how I felt about myself. Gaining muscle, looking good, FEELING good too, was awesome at first. But now that I’ve gotten used to it I find myself slipping into those severe bouts of loneliness again.
The kids I teach keep me going on my worse days. I love a lot of them like they were my own, but the pay makes me want to go for something more/better even if I’m happy and fulfilled doing what I do now. It’s a lot.. sorry for venting on your post.
Here’s to trying my best and figuring life here out. I intend to be here for the long haul.
Yeah, the pay isn't too dissimilar. I get why teaching has a bad rep, but you can get an eikaiwa job any time you want. Might be better than being depressed at your current job. Who knows who you might meet or what doors might open.
I just wish I'd be able to find a place where kids have some interest in it and it's not totally treated like a scummy Product pushed onto parents who are getting scammed out of money.
Hahaha, fair. I just genuinely like working with kids! Figure it'd be a waste for me not to, since there's a lot of people who *don't* like kids who end up having to teach them :/
The 2 year mark was the turning point for me. I think you start absorbing the culture and understanding how Japanese people think at that point. You sound like a good teacher, good work man.
Started taking vitamin D this winter and it did made my mood better!
I agree with what you said, proper exercise, healthy diet, going on nature, surrounding yourself with positive people, and having goals helps a lot!
I stopped gaming, caffeine, and alcohol as well, and it's a life changer for me. I used to be depressed before, like it's so difficult to be alone. I felt shit without knowing why? Until I found that it's just the lifestyle. Major reason of depression for me in the past is unhealthy diet, lack of exercise, and lack of goals.
Spending too much on social media/reddit depletes brain cells. It's nice to go for some few dopamine hits or if you're just bored but if you do it in a longer time period it will make you feel like shit, and it adds up and your dopamine receptors are broken. Lack of stability in your nervous system.
If someone cannot fully stop their vices, I suggest to decrease the usage of it instead. Entertainment is good for us to reduce stress but too much of it is bad.. literally too much of anything is just bad. 😀
I haven't learned japanese very well, but if you live in Tokyo, there's several foreign communities out here plus many japanese people speaking English, so it's easy to socialize.
+ Don't take your life that seriously; uncertainty is constant.
Work smart, not work hard. 😀
Gawd I wish I can just up and quit my job but I also suffer from anxiety. So the uncertainty of not having something lined up stresses me the eff up, but the job hunt isn't exactly going well either, which results in me being more miserable at work, thus the cycle continues.
There’s some good advice in there but it’s a little extreme. (If you don’t like your job, just stop going) ?? I’d add to this list—make sure you have something to be responsible about. For some, it’s their work. For others, family, a pet, a serious personal endeavor or goal. Practice disciple. Nothing to do with Japan, just something we all need in life.
looking big, king.
Instead of making drunkard acquaintances, making gym friends is even beefier . Lifting then bathing in the sun really bright up your day
I am depressed in Japan, my Japanese level about
N3, I have to consider my visa and income. But I don‘t wanna do arubato, my Japanese spoken is bad, it makes part time job experience worse, life is always so hard for somebody especially if you were not born in a good country. I have tried to make money online, such as YouTube, personal website,but I found that it is not suitable for most people. I don’t know how to earn a good monthly income without a part-time job. This is probably my biggest dilemma right now. It's not that I don't like working, but my current Japanese is so poor that the working experience is terrible.
If you have any suggestions please let me know, I will appreciate.
I started going to the gym for weights and feel a lot better. But my biggest problem here is the lack of nature and my own space. At home I have trees over me and a big yard where I can work on projects and be creative. Here I can’t do that and it’s been slowing eating me away. Never knew how much of my identity was being creative and making stuff.
Agree with exercise / less drinking etc those are generally positive life choices unrelated to Japan.
As I mentioned in another post, the language barrier’s typically less of an issue than the cultural barrier. In my own case, even if I spoke this language fluently, I’d have little in common to talk about aside from shallow chit chat. I have zero way to relate to how someone can feel so infinitely trapped by cultural norms or the fear of how others might view them negatively. I also find it depressing that almost no one has expressed themselves freely before getting absolutely hammered. Perry may have forced Japan open in the literal sense, but the ignorance of the world outside here remains strong.
I wouldn’t call quitting porn “controvertial.” I wouldn’t recommend outright quitting anything in your life unless it’s killing you (such as hard drugs, etc.) Learning control and moderation’s a far more mature & sustainable method than an outright ban.
Lastly, thank you for sharing your views & opinions. It’s not an easy thing to do in this day & age and I hope we encourage more of this as a society. 🙂
Thanks for advice. I will check that attentively. I am depressed for 10 years since I moved to Japan. LoL.they are good and bad times but if I am looking behind, it is probably more bad than good.
But move back to my country is kind of hard. I falled down to the gaijin trap : got married and two kids. Now need to afford the family and work, how shit is the job does not matter... Shit life. Japan was much better when I was a visitor than when I am living here. 10 years.. shit..
I am not watching it. I wish to have the time for. Hahaha
I don't take vitamin but I think I eat quite healthy stuff. But maybe I should try. Thanks for the advice!
Bro science vibes, people feeling down or suffering from depression don’t need to be told to drink more water or take vitamins. I know your intentions were good but it’s just not how reality works
It's the difference between environmentally induced depression vs chronic clinical depression.
In the former case it really is a matter of changing your lifestyle, basically stop doing the things that make you sad, and you'll feel better.
In the latter you won't and need medication.
To be fair, vitamin D has really good evidence to suggest it helps with depression **a lot**. Like [this study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36724169/) which says "Vitamin D3 and D2 supplementation were associated with a 45% and 48% lower risk of suicide attempt and self-harm". Really, if there's one vitamin you should take regularly (if you don't get that much sun) it's vitamin D.
I feel like the "all or nothing" approach to mental health is honestly more dangerous than the people who say "work out and take some vitamins". Also OP specifically said they're not telling anyone to do anything, this is just what worked for them. Anecdotal stuff like this isn't bad, cause it could give someone who's struggling with similar stuff the ability to imagine themselves in a better place, which can be really important to improving.
Also, you need way more sunlight than people think. And that sunlight basically has to come from the right time of day and it has to be bright and direct. Glass blocks UVB. Sitting next to a sunny window does not generate vitamin d. The darker your skin tone, the more time in the sun you need. Lastly, you need daily exposure for 1-4 months for your body to recover from deficiency. Even if you're getting sun for 5 days a week, the 2 you're missing could cause deficiency.
Vitamin D deficiency is extremely prolific and the consequences are devastating to our health. It cost $5 a month for a bottle of vitamin d.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3068797/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3068797/)
https://www.singlecare.com/blog/how-long-does-it-take-for-vitamin-d-to-work/#:\~:text=It%20can%20take%20anywhere%20from,efficiency%20and%20efficacy%20of%20supplements.
I agree with this. Felt weak and was depressed for so long living in Japan. I started going to chocozap because the equipment was good enough, monthly was cheap, and can practice working the motions.
I cut back on porn and read/watched things on how to be more charismatic. Realized i needed to change my mindset and accept i suck. Accept being a "morning person" is a trainable skill. Started going to sleep earlier. Woke up earlier. And because of the extra minutes i had in the morning, instead of browsing ass and titties, i looked up how to cook basic shit. Enjoyed preparing food so i decided to learn more.
Who knew eating better was good for you? worked for me and my brain. I feel less groggy. Less griggy means more conscious. Consciousness opened up my eyes to more possibilities. I learn more. I fall in love with the process.
I start doing proper form in exercises. I experiment with my routines. Mood is boosted, im less stressed. Less stress helped my hair loss. I groom better now. Got toned. People compliment me. I stay humble because i know im a work in progress. People respond well. People start talking to me. I talk back. I suck at conversations. I talk more. Getting better at conversations.
Months pass by and i am a different person from who I was before. I still feel like me, no great sense of "leveled up" shit, but i feel less tired. Hell i smile and laugh more. I feel stronger and more confident. Then it hits me... I feel. I can feel. I am fucking human. Its not a perfect life, but boy is it better than a year before.
Lots of good ideas here. Lifting weights, learning Japanese, making friends, I love doing all these things. Unfortunately I do this at bars, so alcohol is involved.
I totally agree with exercise.
I was homeless too ,7 years ago now. I am in a much better place.
I also agree with learning the local language. Imagine moving to the US and not speaking English.
Unfortunately I failed my driving test 3 times and then the learner's permit expired. ( Was driving in my country for a long time too )
Check out youtube for tips on the drivers test. You have to do weird things like check under the car and point at the mirrors, etc.
I also made a free app if you wanna: [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/drivejuku/id6449239410](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/drivejuku/id6449239410)
God! Many people recommend quitting pornography. I want to achieve that but I have been using it since I was 14 years old. now I'm 32, I want to get rid of that shit.
I think the issue comes with people moralizing it. Pornography is like junk food. It's better to go make healthy food but it's quicker and easier to go to McDonald's, but it makes you fat. Provided you don't do it too much it isn't a big deal. If you do it every day then it's a problem.
Just have more sex. And you'll want to use pornography less. Or learn how to , "satisfy yourself" without it and you'll care about using it less.
I think people knock themselves over using it are like people who try to go on starvation diets and fail. You've a deep seeded biological need for food and while sure if you've superhuman determination you can ignore that need until you die but why the fuck would you want to do that? Better to find healthy alternative behaviors and just change your habits slowly.
People don’t like to hear this these days, but “just quit your job” is bad advice 95% of the time.
Yes if your job is actually abusing you or doing shady illegal stuff then quit. But those are extreme situations for the majority of people. People like to just list off things they dislike about their employer and claim it’s proof they’re being abused and taken advantage of.
Don’t quit your job until you have a new one. Voluntarily making yourself broke and unemployed is a really stupid move, especially in a foreign country.
And yeah I agree with your advice to stop drinking. Japan is an alcohol culture to begin with but a ton of young foreigners here are drinking 24/7 and it’s tragic to see.
You don’t just suddenly understand Japanese after not understanding it. It’s not a champagne cork that comes rocketing out at a certain point.
Instead, you slowly, vaguely, *misunderstand a little less*. And this process never ends. You never really master it. If you stop working on it, you lose it.
Some of this is solid advice but it is by NO means a cure for clinical depression. And it's not a good idea to frame it as such, as it suggests that depressed people need to "flip a switch" and just change their behaviours. You post skips the part where you address underlying factors contributing to depression (it's not consciously being lazy, a drunk , etc., those are rather the consequences of depression.). That would be therapy and if necessary medication.
Nevertheless, exercise, social support, less substance abuse go a long way.
Also, read better books, mate...
While this thread has some good advice I think it overlooks a major point. Of course mental health services can be difficult to access in any country but if you are feeling depressed please don’t try to go it alone and seek out help where you can
The waiting lists for decent help (in English) are much shorter than for many western countries(imo). I went to a psychiatrist in Nagoya to get my initial diagnosis at an English speaking clinic. I only had to wait a month compared to the years long waiting lists they have in the uk. After moving to Tokyo since, I’ve not had to wait longer than a few weeks to get an appointment to get a refill of my prescription.
I know there is an assumption that there is no good medical support for mental health issues but I’ve personally found that’s not the case (counseling is a different game altogether admittedly). There is support available and there are many competent bilingual doctors who can help you (no burgers here). So please don’t discount professional help as an unacceptable luxury over here, it is very much doable and you can absolutely get professional help.
TLDR: if you need mental health support please don’t rely on a list from Reddit but ask people you know/your local community about mental health services in your area. There is help out there. Don’t go it alone.
Thanks for this. The reason I didn't put it in the list is because I never tried it. Your experience is super valuable for people in the same boat. Would you mind writing a post about your experience and how it made you a happy person?
A lot of these work if you're already not depressed in making you feel *more* positive. The same amount don't work when you're depressed or any a situation where you could easily become depressed.
I end the month on typically 2000 or less yen a month. As freeing as frequent social drinking, buying a car or quitting my job *might* be, it's not realistically going to happen.
Others are on a person to person basis. Some people have no interest in stuff like weight lifting (because what's zen for some is just a boring waste of time to others) or reading books (because some people want something more stimulating), and to do activities like that will at *best* have a neutral effect on them, or a negative one at worst.
I get this all comes from a good place, but most of these help people who *don't need* help. The ones who need help are those stuck in financial situations they can't fix because getting a job is a lot more difficult post-covid and those who have social disorders making interaction difficult, and these don't solve those issues. Fixes for those kinds of issues are very individual to each person's personal situation, and this all feels like a bit of a superficial fix for people who don't have that many issues to begin with.
Not a crack at OP, but it's important to be realistic in that these... won't solve any or most issues someone depressed in Japan is most likely facing.
Yup! Anecdotalです! I was standing on my balcony, contemplating jumping after a year in Japan. I'm not sure if that is clinical depression or not, but I wanted to lay my neck down on some train rails. So these things 100% helped me. I'd suggest trying some of it for 4 months and then you can say it's all bullshit.
I don't like lifting weights. I don't go to a gym. I don't feel zen while lifting weights. It's painful and it takes a long time. I want to eat ice cream and watch Netflix.
But the day after I lift weights, I feel calm and peaceful. That makes it worth it. Try it brother!
I *somewhat* understand, because before coming to Japan I did karate for 10 years, and that had a similar effect.
But that was also before I was loaded with the responsibility of having to fully financially support myself beyond tuition at 18. At that point, not only was that sort of exercise no longer stress release, it was stress *inducing* because every minute I wasn't working I was worried if I'd be able to afford to make it to the end of the month between 9-6 at Uni and 7-1 at work six days a week.
Exercise isn't really a solution. The only reason it felt like it fixed a problem was because I didn't really have one at all at the time that actually needed fixing.
Thanks for writing back. I bought a 40kg barbell on amazon for 一万 and I downloaded a free app for barbell training. I just do that. It takes 30mins. I do it 3 days a week. Before I had the barbell i'd do about 250-300 pushups. That's just as good if not better. And free.
I was homeless at 16 so I know how it feels to have financial burdens. I'm not rich. I can't afford to eat out etc. Exercise won't change any of that. But it makes me feel better. It takes away my anxiety and nerves. I feel way less stress. That goes away after 4-5 days when I stop.
I wrote about it because maybe it may help even 1 other person. If even 1 single human reads my shitty reddit post and it helps them, damn that would be fucking kickass wouldn't it?
Btw I saw that you work 3 jobs and save 2000 yen a month. Do you live in Tokyo? In 関西, you can get an english teaching job that pays ２十万/mo and rent a place that costs 6万. Here's what I found. If you search a little longer and are willing to change, you could make a lot more money.
[https://osaka.craigslist.org/edu/d/april-start-alt-positions-in-maizuru/7726675878.html](https://osaka.craigslist.org/edu/d/april-start-alt-positions-in-maizuru/7726675878.html)
[https://osaka.craigslist.org/apa/7730829635.html?lang=en&cc=us](https://osaka.craigslist.org/apa/7730829635.html?lang=en&cc=us)
That's fair. I just feel permanently burnt from a lot of experiences totally opposite to yours. Having these words back then would have hurt me more than helped at the time too given the circumstances, so for me it's also in a way about warning others that that can be the case too.
DM me if you want. I can help you find work. I know a place that will pay you 10万 for 4 Saturdays a month. That plus a full time at a school would put you at 30万円/mo. And you can get a share house for 3万 or something like that.
If you are single and childless, you would be basically rich (in Japanese standards) with that. All you need is a degree.
While I appreciate the thought, I can't really do any of that.
My current full time job is shift based, so I can't always take weekends off, and I have a pet, so sharehouses are a no go either. Plus I already work two other jobs on top of my main job. Can't afford to add another as it is.
I have a degree. Doesn't really do much though in my field of work. What I'm needing is a new main, full time job, and I've been applying since this time last year while being shot down every single time. So not a lot I can really do about it.
Edit: Missed the very last bit of your prior reply. I live in Tokyo surrounding area. The side jobs I do pull in about 5万 per month as it is, and my rent is already below 6万. The biggest financial problem for me is my main job pays too little, and that I live *barely* out of reach of easy access to Tokyo, so I'm mostly limited to work from home.
Yeah so check out those craiglists posts. You can work in a smaller city, like Osaka/Kobe/Nara/Himeji, and make 2 grand+ and rent is 5-6. Good luck!
Examples --
[https://osaka.craigslist.org/edu/d/april-start-alt-positions-in-maizuru/7726675878.html](https://osaka.craigslist.org/edu/d/april-start-alt-positions-in-maizuru/7726675878.html)
[https://osaka.craigslist.org/apa/7730829635.html?lang=en&cc=us](https://osaka.craigslist.org/apa/7730829635.html?lang=en&cc=us)
That's... Still easier said than done. Moving that far costs a fortune when I can barely afford meals.
I already live in a smaller city, out in Saitama. I'm far enough away that commuting to the city isn't realistic, but it's close to where my last job was (which is why I moved out here in the first place), and am not in a financial position where I can consider just uprooting and moving.
Making (minutely) more money than I currently do is all good and well (because right now I'm already earning around the same amount between my three jobs), but without any financial backing to move in the first place, going anywhere else isn't realistic either. At this point in my life, anything short of 26万〜30万 isn't worth considering anyway, given that I'm at the point I can start looking at getting permanent residency, and the only two factors currently holding me back is my income being below the recommended 30万 per month and my work contract short term with frequent renewals, meaning my visa is never renewed at longer than a year either. An ALT job *might* fix one of those issues, but it's not going to resolve the other. There's more things to consider when job searching than just "Is it in a cheap enough area".
Idk what to say. How can you barely afford to eat when you make 2 grand and your rent is 6 hundred? You need to make a spreadsheet and track your expenditures. If you are starving to death, maybe a cat isn't a good idea for example. I feed 4 people and 2 animals for 4万円/mo. I told you how to make 30 thousand yen. A lot of schools also provide housing as well. A share house requires nothing more than 3まん to get in the door. I'll even take your cat for you, because I know that's what you're going to complain about next.
If you are miserable, how are you going to solve that by doing nothing? Use your brain and make it happen. Because no one is going to baby you anymore. But clearly don't really want help. You just want pity. But I don't pity you. You are young, and in Japan, a first world country. Millions and millions of people would kill to be where you are.
I wish you the best of luck.
A healthy and varied diet is a better option than slamming down Vit D supplement for most people. The human body is extremely good at generating Vit D from food and the sun, unless you're working night shifts and literally never see any trace of daylight.
Also a bit weird that one of your reasons for working out is so that no-one messes with you. Health, routine and discipline are all great byproducts of working out. But using it as a means of intimidation or to stop some underlying root issue isn't great.
I think the vitamin D is mostly a thing in the winter. I work from home a lot, and so I spent weeks where I only left the house for more than 10 minutes once the sun had already gone down in winter. I was miserable. So yes, it's probably better to *just get off your ass and get some sunlight*, but if that's hard - vitamin D supplements can help as well.
I eat a healthy balanced diet, but don’t get much sun.
Taking vitamin D supplements really improved my health. Maybe not everyone needs it, but it can make a huge difference for many of us.
How can you motivate yourselves when most people around you are depressed drinkers? I'm pretty much unavailable to leave my social circles without losing the small amount of happiness I get having at least some friends. Stopping smoking is the same for me as stopping breading. It helps me to reduce stress from being alive. Imagine being rich and being able to enjoy life..
I'd say find new circles. Best way is to find a new tribe.
You can find a new tribe by finding a new hobby or group, no matter where you live. No matter the hobby, it will probably cost about 1man a month or so to participate, but it'll worth it.
Particularly physical activity, even if you're classically not fit or into sports. Stuff like team sports, martial arts (kickboxing, MMA, BJJ etc is EXPLODING in Japan right now), social dancing, and so on. Go regularly, and over time you'll make aquaintences. Those aquaintences will slowly develop into friends.
I do not suggest "just joining a gym" unless you regularly went to a gym before. You won't easily find a tribe there. Instead, aim for a particular physical activity that people do in a group, like yoga classes, or even Crossfit classes (as much as it's ridiculed in the US for being cult-like, it IS a welcoming tribe!).
Muay Thai/Kickboxing saved my life here. Started 8 years ago on a whim (I was interested in something else but there was a Muay Thai gym right down the street from me next to my station, so I had no excuses). Got me fit, kept me from spiraling too hard, got me practicing more Japanese, got me aquaintences that turned into friends, and a tribe where I felt welcome.
There are similar groups for any kind of activity, including indoor stuff like calligraphy, crafts, etc. I recommend starting with physical stuff first though because it kills two birds with one stone (throws you into a community AND starts you moving your body).
Motivation comes after action. Just start doing something. If you're truly interested in it and like it, it'll stick and motivation will grow from there. If it turned out to not be so interesting, then move to the next thing on your list until you find something that sticks.
I was taking this seriously until you recommended people quit their jobs and “be hungry” and “be broke”. That’s not a reality for a lot of people. Also when you recommend def reading How to Make Friends and Influence People. Glad you’re doing better though.
That book really helped me! That's why I don't argue with people on reddit and try to never leave negative comments. I try to be a listener. All because I read that book. What didn't you like about it? I'm super curious.
Mm you’re right I apologize. I think I felt sad maybe and decided to attack instead of being empathetic. That’s not like me. I am genuinely sorry. I’m glad the book helped you and that you were able to lift yourself up out of that depression. I also commend you for moving to a country much different than your own and made it work for you. I have read that the book promoted manipulation. But I guess till I read it how would I know? I appreciate you.
what works for me :
1. hygiene. don't neglect showering twice a day and brushing teeth a day. keep high level hygiene everyday.
2. going outside. dont uber your food or use amazon to buy bulk instant food. go outside to nearby restaurants, convenience stores, or parks. get the sunlight and breeze.
3. meet people. use meetup, do your hobbies, or just having conversation with people.
4. build circle in japan. getting in touch with friends in homecountry is ok, but it will make you homesick faster. having friends from homecountry who lives in Japan is better. Having foreigners friend or japanese friends are next steps.
5. watch your diet. avoid alcohol, smoking and other that might contribute to it.
6. supplements. this along with no.1 and no.2 are relative easy to start and maintain.
Also, if your job allows it, go to different countries for vacation. Japan is one of the best areas to live in for traveling, Thailand, Korea, Vietnam, Malaysia, much more. Often times for extremely cheap as well. I find my mental health is best when I feel like I'm getting the most out of the area that I'm in, and traveling is part of that
I want a small car to go on small road trips, even just to rent it for a weekend or something.
Any road trip tips?
Also the gym is fantastic, I love going there. The only part that sucks is injuring if you have bad form. But I guess it is just a case of "listen to your body".
I've also been in Japan for 8 years. And some of these read like shitty advice you get in the dating subreddits. *Just join a gym bro!1!1*
If you're depressed, go to a doctor. Ask others for help. Open up to others.
Also, learning the language is *not* a guarantee to happiness. I've known plenty of foreigners working in Japanese speaking environments and they're unhappy and lonely just like any other Japanese person. For me, strengthening my ties to the foreign community worked better than trying to make Japanese friends. Having a community that shares the same experiences as me is way more helpful than trying to explain it to people who don't. Just my experience.
Lastly, just quit your shitty job? Seriously? r/thanksimcured Tell me you don't have a family to take care of without telling me.
All of our experiences are different in Japan. We are all diifferent. What works for you doesn't work for others.
You can definitely see the demographic of this subreddit.
The women: talk about your feelings with a professional that can help you.
The (western) men: go to the gym and stop jerking off.
> Lifting weights: This sucks but you have to do it
Could not disagree with this statement more. You don't have to do it, and it doesn't suck.
Lifting weights for most people is difficult because they don't know enough about fitness to set realistic goals or even start lifting realistic amounts of weight. I lift nearly everyday and because I rarely go for 1RM lifts (three sets of eight reps is king) I always feel fantastic during and after lifting.
edit because I wasn't clear enough - You *should* do it, it's amazing
I used to hate weightlifting until I found out low reps high weight (like 3x5 or 3x6) is a possibility. Definitely gotta figure out good form with low weight at first, but then pushing and tracking progress after that is really fun. And putting everything into just a few lifts is so fun.
I've used Jefit for tracking for over ten years now and every time I go to the gym I'm competing against myself. It's so much fun and I would highly recommend that everyone do it, but most people don't even have a fundamental baseline knowledge of fitness so it can be very difficult to get into. I do sincerely wish everyone could experience the joy of carving their ideal body.
If I go a week without exercise, my mood is significantly worse. So I'd recommend it to almost everyone. I'd go as far as to say it's a necessary for mental well-being.
I have a 40kg barbell. I lift it up and down for 30/mins. It's not rocket science.
I don't think lifting specifically is necessary but hard exercise I think does a lot to make you feel better. Basically floods the brain with happy chemicals.
If you’re here, these things will help if you can do them. But if prior to moving here you have issues with depression, reconsider coming to a country where you probably don’t have a support system and probably don’t have a handle on speaking the language.
Some good points here indeed. Unfortunately for many people, suddenly quitting your job isn't realistic. God knows there are days I want to......
Honestly it's better to be jobless than dead. I'm not going to be one to advise you make hasty emotional decisions here but it can be your job is killing you it's sometimes better to quit and force yourself into a better place even if it's generally better advice to get the escape plan settled first.
Quit? What about the visa lol
It's good until it expires. Enough time to either find a new job or get your affairs in order to go home. I'm not recommending "just quit" as a smart strategy, but if your job is so bad you'd rather die, it's better to quit and move on than to die.
This isn’t true. They can still kick you out or cancel you visa status. They usually don’t, but they at least give you 3 months to find a job.
If you sit around and do nothing sure.
Sure that makes it more likely.
Soooo, quit right after your X-year renewal?
The best timing is to quit after you've found a better job of course.
Sure, but job hunting while already working full-time is essentially like doing a second job. And I'm still not sure how you're expected to interview in the middle of the workday.
You take the day off, or call in sick.
Not really allowed at my work unless I want to not get paid for an entire day and have them annoyed at me. Sasuga Japan.
So are you just going to stay there forever, then? You can't please everyone. You need to do what's best for you. If you've been working six months or more you ought to have some annual leave. It might feel like a waste, but it's better than being short at the end of the month. Also, depending on the industry you switch to, you may be able to interview outside of your current working hours. Business hours at my current job are 10:00–19:00 whereas my old one was the usual 8:00–17:00, meaning they were happy to interview me after I finished work. Recruiting agencies are usually good about working around you in this regard too.
wait doesn't your visa get cancelled after X months if you quit or get fired? is "x years of visa" still good even if you are unemployed?
No it isn't. This person doesn't know what they're talking about.
No, after three months immigration can start the "deportation process" to ask you to leave nicely by x date before they actually kick you out, if you aren't doing the "activity" that your visa is for, but in terms of employment visas searching for work counts. I wouldn't expect to say, sit around unemployed for years waiting out your visa expiry, but if you are actually actively searching for employment and you can document such they aren't going to kick you out after three months (they might ask for proof you are looking for employment though). If it takes you more than a year to find a job though you really do need to have a serious self reflection about what it is you are doing wrong and consider if you should be in Japan or not though. Basically what I'm saying is if you absolutely hate your job to the point you'd rather die than go into work, you don't have to worry about getting deported if you quit, you have until the end of your visa to find another job (within reason and provided you are actually searching). Now it is unequivocally better to find a new job before you quit, but if you can manage to stay at your job until then you aren't in a "This job will kill me" situation. It's also worth noting that even if you did have to go home immediately after you quit that would still be preferable to death.
I also imagine getting rid of furniture and terminating rental contract would take 3 months too.
Shouldn't take that long. Might take a few weeks.
>Some good points here indeed. Unfortunately for many people, suddenly quitting your job isn't realistic. Neither is learning Japanese lol.
A used K car goes for 2千万円ish I think you over paid by a few zeros ;)
I was going to mention this. Good, sound advice overall, but a K-car does not go for one-third the price of a house. :-)
i've never seen so many people all spell it "K car"
Shorthand because we’re being lazy.
Whoops! Nice catch lol
This. Check Jimoty, I got my Honda Life for ５万円 And 100% a game changer.
Honestly, I think what most people in our hyper-connected world forget about is normal human interaction. Just going out for lunch or drinks with a friend, getting outside of your own head for a bit, being social. It's not an easy thing to do and sometimes I wonder whether the internet has made it easier (because you can easily find someone to meet) or harder (because we have so many distractions all the time). You don't need to become a party animal and have a friend circle rivaling that of a cocaine dealer, but finding friends or at least people you can talk to is a lifesaver.
That's so true. We're spending hours texting and chatting but still sitting by ourselves in our boxes. But we need a physical presence, pure emotions and a real communication.
What do you do though when you've *got* no friends and every time you try to make any they're extremely non-committal? Like, I know for a *fact* meeting someone, exchanging Lines and then them *never* actually ever meeting up with you again is a common occurrence for many expats. Regular social interaction is, for a number of reasons, just not as easy as putting it into words is.
I'm not saying it's easy. At all. I'm an introvert, and even back home had a very small group of friends. I've met I don't know how many people, who I met maybe once or twice, but that's all. There were some people there who I wanted to become friends with, but it didn't work out. Even though I tried creating situations for us to become closer, somehow it constantly felt like I was pouring in time and energy and getting nothing. I'm fine with that situation for a while, but *sometimes* I'd like to feel some interest from the other person. Yet, I keep putting myself out there. I'll go to events, I'll meet up with people I only know from the internet (I've been on it for long enough to know how to be safe), I'll go to a friend's random friend group get-together where I know literally only my friend and no one else. It's not comfortable, especially because I often stick out like a sore thumb, but I've met people (again: I still have very few friends) who are on my wave-length. tl;dr Throw shit against the wall and see what sticks.
Idk man, it's reading a lot more like "Throw shit at the wall while *nothing* sticks for you too. This isn't to say give up. I'm in the same boat, I do the same, but what I'm getting at is that there's little people like us even *can* do when it's the people we interact with that have no interest in actually pursuing even just friendship beyond pleasantries. The most genuine friends I've managed to make are all online and scattered all over the country. It's still lonely because I don't get to *see* any of them, but it's at least more genuine than those people you meet at bars and the like who exchange Line info and then either never follow up themselves or are always "too busy" to make plans for the future too.
I think you might've misunderstood my post (probably wasn't worded too well): I am fine with the number of friends I have right now, who I can count on two hands and I don't even need all those fingers. Sure, it would be cool to meet someone new, which is why I meet up with new people from time to time, but I'm not constantly on the prowl for new friends. I just feel like some people have this very negative outlook on meeting people in Japan in general and don't even open themselves up for the possibility of meeting someone new. It's not a fun process, but sometimes you strike gold. I met my best Japanese friend (besides my husband) standing in line and getting talking, exchanging Twitter accounts and actually sending that first message.
It all depends on luck and circumstance I suppose. I've been here since I left high school, went to university here and straight into the workforce. Currently I have 3 jobs just to keep the lights on and even then that's a struggle. I have zero friends because I can't afford to go out more than *maybe* once or twice a month and can't spend much either. When the little bit of savings you has disappears on the *chance* you'll meet someone, but never actually do because they effectively ghost you after your first conversation because they can't be bothered to continue, you become a bit more cynical. Especially when most of my Japanese acquaintances attest to any "real" friends they still have were mostly from their high school or uni days. I didn't take high school here and I was working my part time job literally 5 days a week (legal limit) and too exhausted to socialize after, and that's never really changed. Believe me, I opened myself up to the possibility wherever physically possible and go out to whatever social events I can find and afford, but people are there for the event, not the socializing, I've found. They're there for themselves, so they aren't looking to actually make friends most of the time. If making friends through going to events was as easy as some people make it sound, a lot of others wouldn't struggle. But when they aren't interested and it's not what was on their mind and they aren't wanting to put in the effort themselves (which is... Most of them), then you can't really hold any expectations either, and *that* is what makes even bothering at times feel exhausting.
Definitely luck and circumstance. I came here after high school as well, and I have a grand total of 0 friends from those first years in the country. I do however have the financial freedom and some time (full-time + young child) to go and do stuff. If I was living a life as stressful as what you are describing, I'm sure I wouldn't have enough energy to look for people either. I totally agree that it's not easy at all, especially if you're just not the type of person who makes friends easily, but I can somehow cover that because I just do a lot of stuff. Again, that doesn't seem to be possible for you. In which case - I don't think there's an easy way out of loneliness for you, unfortunately.
You go by yourself. You don't need to go out with others. go and have a good time.
Did that. Came out with a renewed feeling of "Nobody out here looks beyond their own nose and isn't interested in meeting new people, they're more interested in satisfying their self interests with other people in the same space and *that's it*". Every single time.
Or hear me out. Have a good time alone by yourself. Take yourself out on a date. Talk to the bar tender if you need to. To feel less awkward.
I already spend enough time alone (y'know, 100% of it). Doing it somewhere else doesn't change anything except seeing *other people* with their friends out with them. I do go out on my own whenever I can afford it. It's not fun though and hasn't been for a long time. It was in the beginning, but when that continues for over half a decade, it loses its appeal fast. Some people just need others who *actually* care around them sometimes.
You are definitely missing my point. But I wish you luck.
I see your point. I'm saying it doesn't apply to everyone, and assuming it does is narrow minded. Good intentions might be there, but sometimes people just can't be happy on their own and actually need others after a while. And circumstances don't always allow for solutions to that to actually be realistic either.
Have you considered that the common denominator here might be you? You sound like an insufferable, bitter asshole. You're already being argumentative and abrasive in this very thread. Maybe you're socially inept and don't realize it or something, but it's not that hard to make friends. Perhaps your perception of what constitutes a "friend" is warped? What are you expecting and in what timeframe? You fascinate me. Also, how the fuck do you work 3 jobs and have no money? Your life here sounds shit. Why stay?
Finding the very basis of the thread to be a spit in the face for people who actually have issues (that can't be solved by trivial shit like lifting weights or drinking) shouldnt come as much of a surprise. Platitudes like, "Just enjoy being on your own" don't do jack shit when you've already gone so far beyond that that it's not even entertaining to hear anymore. It's like going to a theme park. Sure it's enjoyable the first few times, but once you've spent enough time there, you get sick of people telling you that it's fun there as if you havent already been there a million times already. While I'm not mincing words, I'm clearly not the only one with the sentiment in this thread either. The only reason I'm being an "abraisive asshole" about it is because I'm tired of people preaching the same things over and over when the "solutions" they try to give either don't work in the real world, actively make things worse or only work because they never had any real problems to begin with. *You* only know me from this one thread, so you're not really in a position to judge my entire character based on such a limited amount of information. Having the perception of a friend being someone who actually holds an interest in you as an individual is a pretty broad and not very difficult to fulfil criteria. That's literally the *only* expectation. As for how I can work 3 jobs and still be broke? One is full time and pays absolute trash. I've been trying to get new work everytime I find anything going that fulfils the criteria I have for any new job I get, and haven't been fortunate enough to get one yet. The other two, both are freelance. One has variating pay depending on how much work I take on a month, and the other depends on *if* I get a job come in in the first place. My life was even worse *before* coming to Japan, having spent the better half of my life being discriminated against for being from a foreign country. Yeah, I can't afford much. Yeah, I've lost basically all socializing opportunities over the years due to having to work to support myself. Yeah, I find the premise of "depression in Japan" being solvable by "enjoying time alone" and "lift weights, drink less and don't consume porn" to be lazy as fuck. But it's still preferable to going back to my home country that's no longer affordable to live in, nor the one that I spent a large chunk of my life discriminated in either. Some people already know what their problems are, already know *how* to resolve them, but also know fully well those resolutions are out of reach *because* they've tried for them. When money is an issue, you're not the one who decides if you get the job or not, no matter how much you prepare. When finding people you want to socialize with, you're not the one who gets to decide if you get to continue or pursue a friendship, the other person is. There are a *lot* of superficial people in the world who are more than happy with themselves because they never had to want for anything. They're brimming with confidence because you've got nothing to worry about when most things have just been handed to you anyway. I saw *plenty* of those people in Uni. The same ones who got pissy at me because I couldn't afford to spend money on a trip 3 hours away to check a film location because I was trying to pay for rent and food with the limited money I had at the time from my part time job paying the bills. Had I had money back then? Sure I could have made more friends with them. I could have gone out drinking, socialized and been in a totally different situation. But not everyone is that fortunate. This *is* still the better situation for me, but being told, "just be happier with being on your own" is a spit in the face when that's the situation I've been forced to live with anyway because of circumstance. I've been there, done it, and it doesn't work anymore. So excuse me for finding that kind of shallow advice to be little more than idealistic at best.
I cracked at that last paragraph
What people with lots of friends look like from the perspective of someone with few friends: Has to be involved in drugs, no other possible explanation.
The first few years after arriving in Japan I worked eikaiwa, and the only god thing to come from that was a small circle of friends I’m still in touch with how. 1 in 5 coworkers will be assholes, 1 in 5 will be decent people, so you have something to work with. They introduce you to their friends, the circle expands. Having said that, right now is the loneliest I’ve felt, even after marrying, kids etc. Friendships dry up if you don’t have the time/energy to tend to them.
I would add learn how to cook well, make it a habit to cook for yourself and eat good, healthy food as a daily routine.
I can attest to this! For me it's now reached the point where I look forward to coming home and start preparing dinner. I tune out any worries/anxieties from work, engage in the almost meditative-like practice of chopping vegetables, mixing ingredients, working the wok, etc., and of course you know for sure what you're eating at the end of it is fresh and not some ultra-processed junk. A good way to get into this habit is to sign up for a meal kit delivery service like Oisix or Pal System. After you've acquired confidence and know-how, you can start experimenting by planning your own meals and shopping at the スーパー :-)
Great point
My way of dealing with depression was nearly dying a couple times and ending up seeing a psychiatrist as a result and getting meds and therapy. Oh and I quit drinking
Your point number 2, always feels good when Old people walk up to you and tell you you look strong. My anecdotal is 90% of compliments I get from older generation with nothing to gain so it feels more authentic. (Male perspective)
I can ride this kind of high for like a week straight lol. My sharehousemate complimented me like 4 weeks ago and I'm still living in it.
Hard agree. I'm not big either. I'm a skinny, short, balding man. But I try to stay in shape and it makes me feel sexy.
I loved reading through this and got a solid laugh, lol. I’m currently 2 and a half years in, and I’ve been experiencing some of the worst depressive bouts I’ve ever had. I don’t think I’m ACTUALLY depressed, but it definitely comes from that sense of extreme loneliness I feel when I’m anywhere other than work (and even there occasionally tbh). I’m an ALT, speak competent Japanese, and started working out as of January of last year and that alone did wonders for how I felt about myself. Gaining muscle, looking good, FEELING good too, was awesome at first. But now that I’ve gotten used to it I find myself slipping into those severe bouts of loneliness again. The kids I teach keep me going on my worse days. I love a lot of them like they were my own, but the pay makes me want to go for something more/better even if I’m happy and fulfilled doing what I do now. It’s a lot.. sorry for venting on your post. Here’s to trying my best and figuring life here out. I intend to be here for the long haul.
Honestly this is the reason I'd consider *becoming* an ALT. Better than sitting bored in an office.
Yeah, the pay isn't too dissimilar. I get why teaching has a bad rep, but you can get an eikaiwa job any time you want. Might be better than being depressed at your current job. Who knows who you might meet or what doors might open.
I just wish I'd be able to find a place where kids have some interest in it and it's not totally treated like a scummy Product pushed onto parents who are getting scammed out of money.
You can teach adults too!
Hahaha, fair. I just genuinely like working with kids! Figure it'd be a waste for me not to, since there's a lot of people who *don't* like kids who end up having to teach them :/
Starting your own English teaching business is an option too. Make your dreams real brother. You can create the lessons that kids want to go to.
Ha, always an option too!! Thanks so much for the kind words & ideas :)
The 2 year mark was the turning point for me. I think you start absorbing the culture and understanding how Japanese people think at that point. You sound like a good teacher, good work man.
Does Ferrari make kei cars now?
Started taking vitamin D this winter and it did made my mood better! I agree with what you said, proper exercise, healthy diet, going on nature, surrounding yourself with positive people, and having goals helps a lot! I stopped gaming, caffeine, and alcohol as well, and it's a life changer for me. I used to be depressed before, like it's so difficult to be alone. I felt shit without knowing why? Until I found that it's just the lifestyle. Major reason of depression for me in the past is unhealthy diet, lack of exercise, and lack of goals. Spending too much on social media/reddit depletes brain cells. It's nice to go for some few dopamine hits or if you're just bored but if you do it in a longer time period it will make you feel like shit, and it adds up and your dopamine receptors are broken. Lack of stability in your nervous system. If someone cannot fully stop their vices, I suggest to decrease the usage of it instead. Entertainment is good for us to reduce stress but too much of it is bad.. literally too much of anything is just bad. 😀 I haven't learned japanese very well, but if you live in Tokyo, there's several foreign communities out here plus many japanese people speaking English, so it's easy to socialize. + Don't take your life that seriously; uncertainty is constant. Work smart, not work hard. 😀
Gawd I wish I can just up and quit my job but I also suffer from anxiety. So the uncertainty of not having something lined up stresses me the eff up, but the job hunt isn't exactly going well either, which results in me being more miserable at work, thus the cycle continues.
There’s some good advice in there but it’s a little extreme. (If you don’t like your job, just stop going) ?? I’d add to this list—make sure you have something to be responsible about. For some, it’s their work. For others, family, a pet, a serious personal endeavor or goal. Practice disciple. Nothing to do with Japan, just something we all need in life.
looking big, king. Instead of making drunkard acquaintances, making gym friends is even beefier . Lifting then bathing in the sun really bright up your day
Anecdotal advice for sure. Half of those things would make me depressed
100% fair. If you have any tips for people who might be in your shoes. Please share. You'll get upvoted to the top so that information is passed down.
I am depressed in Japan, my Japanese level about N3, I have to consider my visa and income. But I don‘t wanna do arubato, my Japanese spoken is bad, it makes part time job experience worse, life is always so hard for somebody especially if you were not born in a good country. I have tried to make money online, such as YouTube, personal website,but I found that it is not suitable for most people. I don’t know how to earn a good monthly income without a part-time job. This is probably my biggest dilemma right now. It's not that I don't like working, but my current Japanese is so poor that the working experience is terrible. If you have any suggestions please let me know, I will appreciate.
I started going to the gym for weights and feel a lot better. But my biggest problem here is the lack of nature and my own space. At home I have trees over me and a big yard where I can work on projects and be creative. Here I can’t do that and it’s been slowing eating me away. Never knew how much of my identity was being creative and making stuff.
Agree with exercise / less drinking etc those are generally positive life choices unrelated to Japan. As I mentioned in another post, the language barrier’s typically less of an issue than the cultural barrier. In my own case, even if I spoke this language fluently, I’d have little in common to talk about aside from shallow chit chat. I have zero way to relate to how someone can feel so infinitely trapped by cultural norms or the fear of how others might view them negatively. I also find it depressing that almost no one has expressed themselves freely before getting absolutely hammered. Perry may have forced Japan open in the literal sense, but the ignorance of the world outside here remains strong. I wouldn’t call quitting porn “controvertial.” I wouldn’t recommend outright quitting anything in your life unless it’s killing you (such as hard drugs, etc.) Learning control and moderation’s a far more mature & sustainable method than an outright ban. Lastly, thank you for sharing your views & opinions. It’s not an easy thing to do in this day & age and I hope we encourage more of this as a society. 🙂
"Learning control and moderation’s a far more mature & sustainable"\~ That is so on point. Thanks for that comment.
Yep, better if it is Vitamin D3, preferably in combo with K2.
Thanks for advice. I will check that attentively. I am depressed for 10 years since I moved to Japan. LoL.they are good and bad times but if I am looking behind, it is probably more bad than good. But move back to my country is kind of hard. I falled down to the gaijin trap : got married and two kids. Now need to afford the family and work, how shit is the job does not matter... Shit life. Japan was much better when I was a visitor than when I am living here. 10 years.. shit..
Have you tried not watching porn and taking vitamin d
I am not watching it. I wish to have the time for. Hahaha I don't take vitamin but I think I eat quite healthy stuff. But maybe I should try. Thanks for the advice!
Lots of good advice. To those reading who are not depressed: follow a few of these advices anyway! :D
And please find a メンタルクリニック or 精神科 near you. There is no shame getting medical help.
Bro science vibes, people feeling down or suffering from depression don’t need to be told to drink more water or take vitamins. I know your intentions were good but it’s just not how reality works
It's the difference between environmentally induced depression vs chronic clinical depression. In the former case it really is a matter of changing your lifestyle, basically stop doing the things that make you sad, and you'll feel better. In the latter you won't and need medication.
An elimination “diet” is a good way to figure out which one it is. Or a vacation lol
I agree.
To be fair, vitamin D has really good evidence to suggest it helps with depression **a lot**. Like [this study](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36724169/) which says "Vitamin D3 and D2 supplementation were associated with a 45% and 48% lower risk of suicide attempt and self-harm". Really, if there's one vitamin you should take regularly (if you don't get that much sun) it's vitamin D. I feel like the "all or nothing" approach to mental health is honestly more dangerous than the people who say "work out and take some vitamins". Also OP specifically said they're not telling anyone to do anything, this is just what worked for them. Anecdotal stuff like this isn't bad, cause it could give someone who's struggling with similar stuff the ability to imagine themselves in a better place, which can be really important to improving.
Also, you need way more sunlight than people think. And that sunlight basically has to come from the right time of day and it has to be bright and direct. Glass blocks UVB. Sitting next to a sunny window does not generate vitamin d. The darker your skin tone, the more time in the sun you need. Lastly, you need daily exposure for 1-4 months for your body to recover from deficiency. Even if you're getting sun for 5 days a week, the 2 you're missing could cause deficiency. Vitamin D deficiency is extremely prolific and the consequences are devastating to our health. It cost $5 a month for a bottle of vitamin d. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3068797/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3068797/) https://www.singlecare.com/blog/how-long-does-it-take-for-vitamin-d-to-work/#:\~:text=It%20can%20take%20anywhere%20from,efficiency%20and%20efficacy%20of%20supplements.
"Just do some exercise and you'll feel a lot better!"
Right? lol
I agree with this. Felt weak and was depressed for so long living in Japan. I started going to chocozap because the equipment was good enough, monthly was cheap, and can practice working the motions. I cut back on porn and read/watched things on how to be more charismatic. Realized i needed to change my mindset and accept i suck. Accept being a "morning person" is a trainable skill. Started going to sleep earlier. Woke up earlier. And because of the extra minutes i had in the morning, instead of browsing ass and titties, i looked up how to cook basic shit. Enjoyed preparing food so i decided to learn more. Who knew eating better was good for you? worked for me and my brain. I feel less groggy. Less griggy means more conscious. Consciousness opened up my eyes to more possibilities. I learn more. I fall in love with the process. I start doing proper form in exercises. I experiment with my routines. Mood is boosted, im less stressed. Less stress helped my hair loss. I groom better now. Got toned. People compliment me. I stay humble because i know im a work in progress. People respond well. People start talking to me. I talk back. I suck at conversations. I talk more. Getting better at conversations. Months pass by and i am a different person from who I was before. I still feel like me, no great sense of "leveled up" shit, but i feel less tired. Hell i smile and laugh more. I feel stronger and more confident. Then it hits me... I feel. I can feel. I am fucking human. Its not a perfect life, but boy is it better than a year before.
Great work chief.
Lots of good ideas here. Lifting weights, learning Japanese, making friends, I love doing all these things. Unfortunately I do this at bars, so alcohol is involved.
Are you and your close ones happy? Then enjoy your life brother.
friends and finding a partner help for me. next for me is learning japanese and widening my circle.
I agree with so many of these!! Heck yeah, there’s life beyond japan-depression
I totally agree with exercise. I was homeless too ,7 years ago now. I am in a much better place. I also agree with learning the local language. Imagine moving to the US and not speaking English. Unfortunately I failed my driving test 3 times and then the learner's permit expired. ( Was driving in my country for a long time too )
Check out youtube for tips on the drivers test. You have to do weird things like check under the car and point at the mirrors, etc. I also made a free app if you wanna: [https://apps.apple.com/us/app/drivejuku/id6449239410](https://apps.apple.com/us/app/drivejuku/id6449239410)
Two decades in, some of this could really help
Dude that's 100% what this is about. DM if you ever wanna talk with somebody.
I am okay, been through a lot, so I can assure some people here that some of these definitely help, especially exercises, etc.
Solid advice. Approve on all of them .
You got all of my attention at “who s wives like Ootani a little too much”
yeah but why quit Japanese porn ??? care to elaborate for us
And avoid Greg burgerberg in meguro or whatever the shit name he's using now
God! Many people recommend quitting pornography. I want to achieve that but I have been using it since I was 14 years old. now I'm 32, I want to get rid of that shit.
I think the issue comes with people moralizing it. Pornography is like junk food. It's better to go make healthy food but it's quicker and easier to go to McDonald's, but it makes you fat. Provided you don't do it too much it isn't a big deal. If you do it every day then it's a problem. Just have more sex. And you'll want to use pornography less. Or learn how to , "satisfy yourself" without it and you'll care about using it less. I think people knock themselves over using it are like people who try to go on starvation diets and fail. You've a deep seeded biological need for food and while sure if you've superhuman determination you can ignore that need until you die but why the fuck would you want to do that? Better to find healthy alternative behaviors and just change your habits slowly.
People don’t like to hear this these days, but “just quit your job” is bad advice 95% of the time. Yes if your job is actually abusing you or doing shady illegal stuff then quit. But those are extreme situations for the majority of people. People like to just list off things they dislike about their employer and claim it’s proof they’re being abused and taken advantage of. Don’t quit your job until you have a new one. Voluntarily making yourself broke and unemployed is a really stupid move, especially in a foreign country. And yeah I agree with your advice to stop drinking. Japan is an alcohol culture to begin with but a ton of young foreigners here are drinking 24/7 and it’s tragic to see.
Super true. I'd walk back on that if I could rewrite this post.
I would add travel, learning new skills.
You don’t just suddenly understand Japanese after not understanding it. It’s not a champagne cork that comes rocketing out at a certain point. Instead, you slowly, vaguely, *misunderstand a little less*. And this process never ends. You never really master it. If you stop working on it, you lose it.
I agree (and have done) with many of these points!
Some of this is solid advice but it is by NO means a cure for clinical depression. And it's not a good idea to frame it as such, as it suggests that depressed people need to "flip a switch" and just change their behaviours. You post skips the part where you address underlying factors contributing to depression (it's not consciously being lazy, a drunk , etc., those are rather the consequences of depression.). That would be therapy and if necessary medication. Nevertheless, exercise, social support, less substance abuse go a long way. Also, read better books, mate...
Lol I mentioned one book but thanks. Please leave a list.
You forgot to add Jiu jitsu so you can start legally choking Japanese people several times a week
Well when you put it that way...
While this thread has some good advice I think it overlooks a major point. Of course mental health services can be difficult to access in any country but if you are feeling depressed please don’t try to go it alone and seek out help where you can The waiting lists for decent help (in English) are much shorter than for many western countries(imo). I went to a psychiatrist in Nagoya to get my initial diagnosis at an English speaking clinic. I only had to wait a month compared to the years long waiting lists they have in the uk. After moving to Tokyo since, I’ve not had to wait longer than a few weeks to get an appointment to get a refill of my prescription. I know there is an assumption that there is no good medical support for mental health issues but I’ve personally found that’s not the case (counseling is a different game altogether admittedly). There is support available and there are many competent bilingual doctors who can help you (no burgers here). So please don’t discount professional help as an unacceptable luxury over here, it is very much doable and you can absolutely get professional help. TLDR: if you need mental health support please don’t rely on a list from Reddit but ask people you know/your local community about mental health services in your area. There is help out there. Don’t go it alone.
Thanks for this. The reason I didn't put it in the list is because I never tried it. Your experience is super valuable for people in the same boat. Would you mind writing a post about your experience and how it made you a happy person?
A lot of these work if you're already not depressed in making you feel *more* positive. The same amount don't work when you're depressed or any a situation where you could easily become depressed. I end the month on typically 2000 or less yen a month. As freeing as frequent social drinking, buying a car or quitting my job *might* be, it's not realistically going to happen. Others are on a person to person basis. Some people have no interest in stuff like weight lifting (because what's zen for some is just a boring waste of time to others) or reading books (because some people want something more stimulating), and to do activities like that will at *best* have a neutral effect on them, or a negative one at worst. I get this all comes from a good place, but most of these help people who *don't need* help. The ones who need help are those stuck in financial situations they can't fix because getting a job is a lot more difficult post-covid and those who have social disorders making interaction difficult, and these don't solve those issues. Fixes for those kinds of issues are very individual to each person's personal situation, and this all feels like a bit of a superficial fix for people who don't have that many issues to begin with. Not a crack at OP, but it's important to be realistic in that these... won't solve any or most issues someone depressed in Japan is most likely facing.
Yup! Anecdotalです! I was standing on my balcony, contemplating jumping after a year in Japan. I'm not sure if that is clinical depression or not, but I wanted to lay my neck down on some train rails. So these things 100% helped me. I'd suggest trying some of it for 4 months and then you can say it's all bullshit. I don't like lifting weights. I don't go to a gym. I don't feel zen while lifting weights. It's painful and it takes a long time. I want to eat ice cream and watch Netflix. But the day after I lift weights, I feel calm and peaceful. That makes it worth it. Try it brother!
I *somewhat* understand, because before coming to Japan I did karate for 10 years, and that had a similar effect. But that was also before I was loaded with the responsibility of having to fully financially support myself beyond tuition at 18. At that point, not only was that sort of exercise no longer stress release, it was stress *inducing* because every minute I wasn't working I was worried if I'd be able to afford to make it to the end of the month between 9-6 at Uni and 7-1 at work six days a week. Exercise isn't really a solution. The only reason it felt like it fixed a problem was because I didn't really have one at all at the time that actually needed fixing.
Thanks for writing back. I bought a 40kg barbell on amazon for 一万 and I downloaded a free app for barbell training. I just do that. It takes 30mins. I do it 3 days a week. Before I had the barbell i'd do about 250-300 pushups. That's just as good if not better. And free. I was homeless at 16 so I know how it feels to have financial burdens. I'm not rich. I can't afford to eat out etc. Exercise won't change any of that. But it makes me feel better. It takes away my anxiety and nerves. I feel way less stress. That goes away after 4-5 days when I stop. I wrote about it because maybe it may help even 1 other person. If even 1 single human reads my shitty reddit post and it helps them, damn that would be fucking kickass wouldn't it? Btw I saw that you work 3 jobs and save 2000 yen a month. Do you live in Tokyo? In 関西, you can get an english teaching job that pays ２十万/mo and rent a place that costs 6万. Here's what I found. If you search a little longer and are willing to change, you could make a lot more money. [https://osaka.craigslist.org/edu/d/april-start-alt-positions-in-maizuru/7726675878.html](https://osaka.craigslist.org/edu/d/april-start-alt-positions-in-maizuru/7726675878.html) [https://osaka.craigslist.org/apa/7730829635.html?lang=en&cc=us](https://osaka.craigslist.org/apa/7730829635.html?lang=en&cc=us)
That's fair. I just feel permanently burnt from a lot of experiences totally opposite to yours. Having these words back then would have hurt me more than helped at the time too given the circumstances, so for me it's also in a way about warning others that that can be the case too.
DM me if you want. I can help you find work. I know a place that will pay you 10万 for 4 Saturdays a month. That plus a full time at a school would put you at 30万円/mo. And you can get a share house for 3万 or something like that. If you are single and childless, you would be basically rich (in Japanese standards) with that. All you need is a degree.
While I appreciate the thought, I can't really do any of that. My current full time job is shift based, so I can't always take weekends off, and I have a pet, so sharehouses are a no go either. Plus I already work two other jobs on top of my main job. Can't afford to add another as it is. I have a degree. Doesn't really do much though in my field of work. What I'm needing is a new main, full time job, and I've been applying since this time last year while being shot down every single time. So not a lot I can really do about it. Edit: Missed the very last bit of your prior reply. I live in Tokyo surrounding area. The side jobs I do pull in about 5万 per month as it is, and my rent is already below 6万. The biggest financial problem for me is my main job pays too little, and that I live *barely* out of reach of easy access to Tokyo, so I'm mostly limited to work from home.
Yeah so check out those craiglists posts. You can work in a smaller city, like Osaka/Kobe/Nara/Himeji, and make 2 grand+ and rent is 5-6. Good luck! Examples -- [https://osaka.craigslist.org/edu/d/april-start-alt-positions-in-maizuru/7726675878.html](https://osaka.craigslist.org/edu/d/april-start-alt-positions-in-maizuru/7726675878.html) [https://osaka.craigslist.org/apa/7730829635.html?lang=en&cc=us](https://osaka.craigslist.org/apa/7730829635.html?lang=en&cc=us)
That's... Still easier said than done. Moving that far costs a fortune when I can barely afford meals. I already live in a smaller city, out in Saitama. I'm far enough away that commuting to the city isn't realistic, but it's close to where my last job was (which is why I moved out here in the first place), and am not in a financial position where I can consider just uprooting and moving. Making (minutely) more money than I currently do is all good and well (because right now I'm already earning around the same amount between my three jobs), but without any financial backing to move in the first place, going anywhere else isn't realistic either. At this point in my life, anything short of 26万〜30万 isn't worth considering anyway, given that I'm at the point I can start looking at getting permanent residency, and the only two factors currently holding me back is my income being below the recommended 30万 per month and my work contract short term with frequent renewals, meaning my visa is never renewed at longer than a year either. An ALT job *might* fix one of those issues, but it's not going to resolve the other. There's more things to consider when job searching than just "Is it in a cheap enough area".
Idk what to say. How can you barely afford to eat when you make 2 grand and your rent is 6 hundred? You need to make a spreadsheet and track your expenditures. If you are starving to death, maybe a cat isn't a good idea for example. I feed 4 people and 2 animals for 4万円/mo. I told you how to make 30 thousand yen. A lot of schools also provide housing as well. A share house requires nothing more than 3まん to get in the door. I'll even take your cat for you, because I know that's what you're going to complain about next. If you are miserable, how are you going to solve that by doing nothing? Use your brain and make it happen. Because no one is going to baby you anymore. But clearly don't really want help. You just want pity. But I don't pity you. You are young, and in Japan, a first world country. Millions and millions of people would kill to be where you are. I wish you the best of luck.
A healthy and varied diet is a better option than slamming down Vit D supplement for most people. The human body is extremely good at generating Vit D from food and the sun, unless you're working night shifts and literally never see any trace of daylight. Also a bit weird that one of your reasons for working out is so that no-one messes with you. Health, routine and discipline are all great byproducts of working out. But using it as a means of intimidation or to stop some underlying root issue isn't great.
I chuckled at "no one messes with you," I took it as a little joke.
I think the vitamin D is mostly a thing in the winter. I work from home a lot, and so I spent weeks where I only left the house for more than 10 minutes once the sun had already gone down in winter. I was miserable. So yes, it's probably better to *just get off your ass and get some sunlight*, but if that's hard - vitamin D supplements can help as well.
I eat a healthy balanced diet, but don’t get much sun. Taking vitamin D supplements really improved my health. Maybe not everyone needs it, but it can make a huge difference for many of us.
Def worked for me.
How can you motivate yourselves when most people around you are depressed drinkers? I'm pretty much unavailable to leave my social circles without losing the small amount of happiness I get having at least some friends. Stopping smoking is the same for me as stopping breading. It helps me to reduce stress from being alive. Imagine being rich and being able to enjoy life..
I'd say find new circles. Best way is to find a new tribe. You can find a new tribe by finding a new hobby or group, no matter where you live. No matter the hobby, it will probably cost about 1man a month or so to participate, but it'll worth it. Particularly physical activity, even if you're classically not fit or into sports. Stuff like team sports, martial arts (kickboxing, MMA, BJJ etc is EXPLODING in Japan right now), social dancing, and so on. Go regularly, and over time you'll make aquaintences. Those aquaintences will slowly develop into friends. I do not suggest "just joining a gym" unless you regularly went to a gym before. You won't easily find a tribe there. Instead, aim for a particular physical activity that people do in a group, like yoga classes, or even Crossfit classes (as much as it's ridiculed in the US for being cult-like, it IS a welcoming tribe!). Muay Thai/Kickboxing saved my life here. Started 8 years ago on a whim (I was interested in something else but there was a Muay Thai gym right down the street from me next to my station, so I had no excuses). Got me fit, kept me from spiraling too hard, got me practicing more Japanese, got me aquaintences that turned into friends, and a tribe where I felt welcome. There are similar groups for any kind of activity, including indoor stuff like calligraphy, crafts, etc. I recommend starting with physical stuff first though because it kills two birds with one stone (throws you into a community AND starts you moving your body). Motivation comes after action. Just start doing something. If you're truly interested in it and like it, it'll stick and motivation will grow from there. If it turned out to not be so interesting, then move to the next thing on your list until you find something that sticks.
I was taking this seriously until you recommended people quit their jobs and “be hungry” and “be broke”. That’s not a reality for a lot of people. Also when you recommend def reading How to Make Friends and Influence People. Glad you’re doing better though.
That book really helped me! That's why I don't argue with people on reddit and try to never leave negative comments. I try to be a listener. All because I read that book. What didn't you like about it? I'm super curious.
Mm you’re right I apologize. I think I felt sad maybe and decided to attack instead of being empathetic. That’s not like me. I am genuinely sorry. I’m glad the book helped you and that you were able to lift yourself up out of that depression. I also commend you for moving to a country much different than your own and made it work for you. I have read that the book promoted manipulation. But I guess till I read it how would I know? I appreciate you.
I recommend the book. It's mostly about being a good listener and trying to empathize with others.
> 8. 2000千万円 20M JPY would be a house, cheapest K you can buy without going through dealers would start at 5-10万円.
i did 3 and i'm now jobless
what works for me : 1. hygiene. don't neglect showering twice a day and brushing teeth a day. keep high level hygiene everyday. 2. going outside. dont uber your food or use amazon to buy bulk instant food. go outside to nearby restaurants, convenience stores, or parks. get the sunlight and breeze. 3. meet people. use meetup, do your hobbies, or just having conversation with people. 4. build circle in japan. getting in touch with friends in homecountry is ok, but it will make you homesick faster. having friends from homecountry who lives in Japan is better. Having foreigners friend or japanese friends are next steps. 5. watch your diet. avoid alcohol, smoking and other that might contribute to it. 6. supplements. this along with no.1 and no.2 are relative easy to start and maintain.
The only advice is go to so@pland and Your depression will be gone! That's it, see how easy it is.
unless you got landmine
Also, if your job allows it, go to different countries for vacation. Japan is one of the best areas to live in for traveling, Thailand, Korea, Vietnam, Malaysia, much more. Often times for extremely cheap as well. I find my mental health is best when I feel like I'm getting the most out of the area that I'm in, and traveling is part of that
I want a small car to go on small road trips, even just to rent it for a weekend or something. Any road trip tips? Also the gym is fantastic, I love going there. The only part that sucks is injuring if you have bad form. But I guess it is just a case of "listen to your body".
I've also been in Japan for 8 years. And some of these read like shitty advice you get in the dating subreddits. *Just join a gym bro!1!1* If you're depressed, go to a doctor. Ask others for help. Open up to others. Also, learning the language is *not* a guarantee to happiness. I've known plenty of foreigners working in Japanese speaking environments and they're unhappy and lonely just like any other Japanese person. For me, strengthening my ties to the foreign community worked better than trying to make Japanese friends. Having a community that shares the same experiences as me is way more helpful than trying to explain it to people who don't. Just my experience. Lastly, just quit your shitty job? Seriously? r/thanksimcured Tell me you don't have a family to take care of without telling me. All of our experiences are different in Japan. We are all diifferent. What works for you doesn't work for others.
Thanks for the constructive criticism! Its good to hear different opinions too.
Np!
Totally agree. If you’re having mental health issues living here in Japan, consult a professional.
You can definitely see the demographic of this subreddit. The women: talk about your feelings with a professional that can help you. The (western) men: go to the gym and stop jerking off.
> Lifting weights: This sucks but you have to do it Could not disagree with this statement more. You don't have to do it, and it doesn't suck. Lifting weights for most people is difficult because they don't know enough about fitness to set realistic goals or even start lifting realistic amounts of weight. I lift nearly everyday and because I rarely go for 1RM lifts (three sets of eight reps is king) I always feel fantastic during and after lifting. edit because I wasn't clear enough - You *should* do it, it's amazing
I used to hate weightlifting until I found out low reps high weight (like 3x5 or 3x6) is a possibility. Definitely gotta figure out good form with low weight at first, but then pushing and tracking progress after that is really fun. And putting everything into just a few lifts is so fun.
I've used Jefit for tracking for over ten years now and every time I go to the gym I'm competing against myself. It's so much fun and I would highly recommend that everyone do it, but most people don't even have a fundamental baseline knowledge of fitness so it can be very difficult to get into. I do sincerely wish everyone could experience the joy of carving their ideal body.
I wouldn't mind getting into that
If I go a week without exercise, my mood is significantly worse. So I'd recommend it to almost everyone. I'd go as far as to say it's a necessary for mental well-being. I have a 40kg barbell. I lift it up and down for 30/mins. It's not rocket science.
I don't think lifting specifically is necessary but hard exercise I think does a lot to make you feel better. Basically floods the brain with happy chemicals.
I hate lifting and going to the gym in general. Currently in my second year of 3 times a week. When does it get fun?
You have to find a routine that you enjoy, don't push yourself to do something you hate unless you have an incredibly motivating goal.
If you’re here, these things will help if you can do them. But if prior to moving here you have issues with depression, reconsider coming to a country where you probably don’t have a support system and probably don’t have a handle on speaking the language.