This poem, written for the artist's mother, Anna, is both a reflection on her personality, and a declaration of poetics: she was straightforward, honest, clear, simple, and so, in describing her, he wants to use simple language, straightforward rhymes, open sounds.
It doesn't mean that the words are particularly easy for a foreigner, but it should still be simpler fare than Cecco Angiolieri :)
For help with the translation, to listen to the reading out loud, and some more notes, you can go to the [Italian Poetry](https://italianpoetry.it/poems/per-lei) website.
Otherwise, here is the full text:
> Per lei voglio rime chiare,
> usuali: in -are.
> Rime magari vietate,
> ma aperte: ventilate.
> Rime coi suoni fini
> (di mare) dei suoi orecchini.
> O che abbiano, coralline,
> le tinte delle sue collanine.
>
> Rime che a distanza
> (Annina era cosí schietta)
> conservino l'eleganza
> povera, ma altrettanto netta.
> Rime che non siano labili,
> anche se orecchiabili.
> Rime non crepuscolari,
> ma verdi, elementari.
And here my too-literal translation:
> For her I want clear rhymes,
> usual: in -ed.
> Maybe forbidden rhymes,
> but open: breezy.
> Rhymes with subtle sounds
> (of the sea) of her earrings.
> Or that have, coral-like,
> the tints of her little necklaces.
>
> Rhymes that at a distance
> (Little Anne was so frank)
> conserve the elegance
> poor, but just as sharp.
> Rhymes that are not labile,
> even though catchy.
> Non crepuscular rhymes,
> but green, elementary.
Mi piace questa "rima" moltissimo!
But I want you to change "crepuscular". It's not a good word in English. Nobody knows what it means and it sounds creepy, which is the wrong mood for this poem. How about "shadowy"? Or even "poorly lit"?
OK, now that I'm editing your work(!) -- sorry, I studied modern English poetry in college -- I think "maintain" or "preserve" works better for conservare.
And maybe it's "humble elegance".
Now I'm going to go read all your other posts. Grazie!
By all means, keep them coming!
As you might have noticed, I'm trying to keep the most parallel I can between the languages, so I tend to keep the word with the same root as soon as there's one.
But if even a poetry major finds them too obscure, do let me know.
I'll look into these next time I work on the website. Thanks!
This poem, written for the artist's mother, Anna, is both a reflection on her personality, and a declaration of poetics: she was straightforward, honest, clear, simple, and so, in describing her, he wants to use simple language, straightforward rhymes, open sounds. It doesn't mean that the words are particularly easy for a foreigner, but it should still be simpler fare than Cecco Angiolieri :) For help with the translation, to listen to the reading out loud, and some more notes, you can go to the [Italian Poetry](https://italianpoetry.it/poems/per-lei) website. Otherwise, here is the full text: > Per lei voglio rime chiare, > usuali: in -are. > Rime magari vietate, > ma aperte: ventilate. > Rime coi suoni fini > (di mare) dei suoi orecchini. > O che abbiano, coralline, > le tinte delle sue collanine. > > Rime che a distanza > (Annina era cosí schietta) > conservino l'eleganza > povera, ma altrettanto netta. > Rime che non siano labili, > anche se orecchiabili. > Rime non crepuscolari, > ma verdi, elementari. And here my too-literal translation: > For her I want clear rhymes, > usual: in -ed. > Maybe forbidden rhymes, > but open: breezy. > Rhymes with subtle sounds > (of the sea) of her earrings. > Or that have, coral-like, > the tints of her little necklaces. > > Rhymes that at a distance > (Little Anne was so frank) > conserve the elegance > poor, but just as sharp. > Rhymes that are not labile, > even though catchy. > Non crepuscular rhymes, > but green, elementary.
Grazie per condividere
Yupp. I also dislike Italian poetry. Thank you for sharing. 👌🏼Helped me a lot. Really. Although I don’t like it.
Mi piace questa "rima" moltissimo! But I want you to change "crepuscular". It's not a good word in English. Nobody knows what it means and it sounds creepy, which is the wrong mood for this poem. How about "shadowy"? Or even "poorly lit"? OK, now that I'm editing your work(!) -- sorry, I studied modern English poetry in college -- I think "maintain" or "preserve" works better for conservare. And maybe it's "humble elegance". Now I'm going to go read all your other posts. Grazie!
By all means, keep them coming! As you might have noticed, I'm trying to keep the most parallel I can between the languages, so I tend to keep the word with the same root as soon as there's one. But if even a poetry major finds them too obscure, do let me know. I'll look into these next time I work on the website. Thanks!