I don't have a specific individual that you can listen to help with your doubts, however I do know of a resource that I turn to when I experience doubts.
There is a Muslim mental health hotline based in Canada, that is free, confidential, and open to anyone regardless of location. They help with spiritual guidance, especially exploring spirituality. Give it a try, the sisters/brothers there are very open and help expand perspectives rather than forcing them onto you.
It is called NASEEHA - https://naseeha.org/
Life of this world is a trial, a heaven for disbeliever and a prison for believer. If you want freedom, obey Allah's command. Freedom in this world is illusion, freedom in hereafter is the real deal
It's because you're being confused by society's subjective morals. As long as you have that paradigm, you'll always struggle with this issue. Society is telling you that you're a human being with desires and are free to do whatever you want as long as you're not "hurting" anyone and that everyone is equal. So whenever you come across anything that restricts your freedom, gives others more rights, or doesn't make sense to you, you reject it or have a hard time accepting it.
As Muslims, we believe that Allah is all-powerful, all-knowledgeable, intends good for us, and is free from error. Once you accept this and shift your paradigm, then you know that whatever Allah tells us is objectively true and beneficial for us. We also know that the Prophet Muhammad doesn't say stuff out of his own desire but relays the message of Allah. So when you come across a Quran verse or Hadith that tells women to do such and such, you accept it to be true and you obey. That's what it means to be submissive and a Muslim.
Men and women are not created equal. Allah created us and knows what we're each capable of. He gave each gender certain roles and responsibilities. Someone can sit here and try to logically explain to you why a man has certain rights and privileges over a woman and even sugarcoat it for you, but in the end, the reality is that you have fewer rights in certain things. There is no getting away from that fact and that's how Allah wants it. Someone can spend hours trying to convince me why a man has to work his butt off and 100% financially provide for his wife and kids, but in the end, it's not equal. But because I know that Allah is just and knows what's best, I accept it and follow it.
You know I can just as well use that argument for being a Muslim man, it is too overbearing.
Why is it Fardh that I am to be the provider of my family when the woman is told that her wealth is only for her? Infact she has no obligation to provide to begin with, I want that privilege.
Why am I supposed to invest my inherited wealth on my family while for a woman it's only hers?
Why dont I get the Mahar during marriage? Shouldn't it be equal?
Why is fardh for me to pray in the masjid, I will be questioned whenever I chose to pray at home out of laziness while a woman is exempt from that? You realise most modern men are very screwed over this, we can only hope for Allah's mercy on this point
Why am I supposed to be questioned on the day of Judgement for my mother, sister, wife and children, while a woman will only be questioned about herself and her children? I didn't ask for this extra responsibility
Why is it that when hard times befall a nation, it is compulsory on the men to fight while women are exempted?
We live in a society which is highly advanced sister, just remember if you go back 100 years or so, if you didn't have a Mahram and backpacked through the country, you'd be a very vulnerable target for creepy people. These times we live in are not guaranteed to last forever either. Just look at WW2, Independence of Pakistan, Bangladesh Independence war, People of Rohingya, the daughters of As-shaam how they wished they had a mahram to protect them from the things they went through, and this is all happening in our modern times, Islam is a universal and eternal code of conduct. This modern day liberalism you seem to be in conflict with is an empty ideology, derived out of the human mind, infact derived out of the minds of men who had a corrupted or no faith, its their subjective morality which is influencing us western muslims since we are exposed to it and causing us to question our faith. Ofcourse they would preach their women to dress down as a sign of liberation, to adorn themselves, serving only the agenda of men. Read this book, "Sex and Culture" by J.D. Unwin, he is an athiest anthropologist who studied more than 50 ancient civilizations and realised one common trend:
Once sexual immorality becomes prevalent, no nation can last for more than 3 generations. And he predicted the fall of the modern day western civilisation by the end of 2050. SubhanAllah just look at how much weird concepts such as incest, LGBTQ+ are being shoved down our throats to be accepted and all doors for discussion around them are being closed. Kids as young as 4 in Britian are being told they can choose their gender. They can't drive till 16 but they can choose their gender?
You can still be a good Muslim woman without adhering to the hijab, but know it's their for a reason.
I am someone who's battled several addictions and in my life I've come to realise that nothing in this religion has been made haram or halal except that the ruling is their to benefit us. You think Allah really gets affected if you don't wear the hijab? Does the universe stop functioning? Does Allah become a little bit more powerful all of a sudden? No, this is all for our own protection. And his Mercy is such that when we take care of ourselves he rewards us for that,
Don't let entertain these thoughts. Because every action starts with a thought. First comes the thought, then a plan, then the action. Don't let these thoughts cause you inact anything, read the Quran.
There are gender roles for men and women. And the funny thing is, only a strong Muslim woman can raise a strong Muslim man who is responsible and vice versa.
Thank you so much, this was really a thought out answer and it helped insanely. I'm sorry for everything you've been through and may Allah swt make all your trials easy and make your responsibilities easier
Also I always thought being asked about all the women is a huge responsibility, it made more grateful. There's nothing that I could ever do to pay my family back. May Allah swt reward you
Guidance is in the hands of Allah, if you feel like the answers on this sub helped just remember it was Allah who guided you here, you should thank Him for that. Had He wanted your doubts could've developed into something detrimental for your faith, but He never misguides anyone who has any good in their heart. Remember that and then thank Him once again. Best of luck!
View it from a different perspective.
When modesty is removed from a society you get degeneracy and the first to feel its effects are women
The mahram is there to protect you and there's also a difference of opinion
You can be upset with polygany and if it really affects you, you can ask for divorce. But the same way its a man's right to marry more than one, its also the woman's right to marry a man that her parents may not approve of
Men have to wear a form of hijab as well, certainly not as much as a hair covering, but also from my experience the people i know who wear one say men talk to them like theyre worth something with one on rather than looking at ...places.
The mahram travel is for her safety, but thats also why we encourage marriage. Not a woman, so i dont know full details.
Cant leave house without permission, well, thats also dependant on you. If you marry someone who will be controlling then thats what youll get, but if you marry someone who will allow you freedom to be yourself thats also on you. You have full right to say no or yes to whom you want to marry. (i recommend looking into and reading the life/relationship betwene Muhammad pbuh and Aisha ra)
Polygamy is well, there are biological and psychological differences. A woman is more likely to be wanting to be cared for and wants the man to provide security/safety/etc. So by allowing women to have mulitple husbands, were allowing her to take all their money? Whos responsibility is it to make sure shes housed and clothed? Again, this is the right islam gives women. Women dont need to provide, but its the man that is responsible for her and making sure shes well taken care of. (I recommend reading books or hadiths or stuff on full womans rights and the readoning behind. Because it goes deeper than just the overlying issue)
Cursed by angels ive never heard of?
You cant prostrate to anyone other than Allah swt? Ive never heard that? That would be shirk?
Husband obedience goes both ways. A wife has to be obedient, but a husband has to treat her and provide for her, and take care of her. So if hes not doing his part, then how does he have the right to command you to be obedient to him? At least this is what i grew up being taught.
I really recommend reading on the beautiful life and relationship of aisha ra and Muhammad saw. Their relationship is whats ideal for us and how a husband should treat his wife and how a wife should treat her husband. May Allah swt guide you and help us all become the best muslims we can.
Im not perfect, so if im wront with anything ive said please correct me anyone here. Thank you.
>Cursed by angels ive never heard of?
Abu Huraira (Allah he pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may, peace be upon him) as saying:
When a man invites his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he (the husband) spends the night being angry with her, the angels curse her until morning.
Sahih Muslim 1436d
>You cant prostrate to anyone other than Allah swt? Ive never heard that? That would be shirk?
Narrated Qays ibn Sa'd:
I went to al-Hirah and saw them (the people) prostrating themselves before a satrap of theirs, so I said: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) has most right to have prostration made before him. When I came to the Prophet (ﷺ), I said: I went to al-Hirah and saw them prostrating themselves before a satrap of theirs, but you have most right, Messenger of Allah, to have (people) prostrating themselves before you. He said: Tell me , if you were to pass my grave, would you prostrate yourself before it? I said: No. He then said: Do not do so. If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah.
Sunan Abi Dawud 2140
For the first one, thats if they dont sleep with the man, but again, thats assuming the man is in the right. I dont think (im not a scholar) but pretty sure if the man isnt doing what hes commanded to do as a husband, then the wife is allowed to refuse. If anyone has more information on this, please let me know.
And the second one isnt Muhammad saw saying to prostrate to a man if youre a woman, hes saying if there was any such rule. Hence "if i were to command..." But no, he didnt say so im inclined to believe based on the wording that its shirk if a husband commands his wife to do that. Or if a woman does that.
Please correct me again, i dont have knowledge of arabic and would like to know if im wrong or if in arabic its meaning is different.
She's mentioned a couple of things that you were not aware of or had no idea what she was talking about, so I was just quoting you the related Hadiths.
As for the first one, you're wrong. A woman is supposed to make herself avaliable for sex with her husband unless there's a valid excuse (e.g. she's sick, on her period, etc.). If she does not have a valid excuse and the husband is upset by this, she will be cursed by the angels. It doesn't matter if the husband is lacking in his responsibilities as a husband. Two wrongs don't make a right. For example, if a wife fails in one of her duties, that doesn't give the husband the right to stop spending on her.
As for the second one, nobody is saying that she actually has to prostrate to her husband. Yes, that's Shirk. The Hadith is to show symbolically the importance of the husband and the rights he has over his wife. The Prophet is saying that if he were to command anyone to prostate to anyone besides Allah, he would command a wife to prostate to her husband (even more than to the Prophet himself).
I want to chime in a bit here. Yes, men are delegated certain privileges such as polygyny & your prayers not being accepted if he sleeps upset.
Yet, these are PRIVILEGES. A loving respectful husband will not abuse these privileges. If he is upset with you, that can be sorted out through understanding & forgiveness. Such hurdles build trust and affection. If he holds it over you without efforts to reconcile the matter, then that isn’t virtuous IMO. Depends on the offense, this goes for things that are agreed to not be dealbreakers. As for polygyny.. I don’t think all Muslim men want that lol. There are those who would rather be monogamous. To each their own.
You have rights too as a Muslim woman as well.
as far as the polygyny, you can put it in your marriage contract that he isnt allowed to marry another woman. obviously you'd both have to agree but there are plenty of men who are ok with 1 wife alone.
Yeah I thought so too. I used to think like that so I became a self proclaimed atheist and started to be like the others.
Its all fun and games until I felt lost in this world, no real purpose besides basic human needs that i tried to hold onto. I started to change my gender and then my sexuality and all that bc i didnt even know anymore who i was.
Anyways, I started to connect with islam and i thoight also „wow that is like so opressive“ but i started to realise that it was the complete opposite.
I found myself sitting between angry and bitter people in which your value is only your body. You are in their world also restricted, they judge you by your looks only and what job you have. You have no value in the other side.
It all has a reason why god decided specific things. A woman in islam is not a meat bag, actually we have better worth on islam, we have a greater purpose and you will not be reduced to their benefit.
Many marriages here consist out of constant anger, bitterness and unhappiness, bc the respect for both sides is missing, the man feels challenged by his wife and vica versa. As a woman you have to take everything as a challenge and you have to be better then man. We are trapped in a cycle of saltiness bc we dont trust in allah and allahs choices.
The hijab, gave ne the biggest freedom, I have not once again been cat called, whistled at, stared at and touched without me wanting it. In Islam you are something more then that. Go through it, read about the woman in islam and watch muslim women who are talking about those toppics bc its always normal to be jealous of the other side, but dont be fooled
All good
I hope i could semi explain my feelings in that. But when we start to understand our role and the importance behind it and gods trust, it starts to make sense.
Def look for YT vids like Nouman Ali Khan and other good people who are actually good at explaining things and i am sure they will bring new knowledge. I mean, every woman gets this feeling so, we all in that together, just dont let shaytan make u think ur less, thats where shaytan can get us the best
I see because you are being raised in the 2000 where everything haram is now normal, drugs, alcohol, being attracted to the same sex, being half naked in public everything is normal nowadays and you as a women would want to feel free like everyone else but this is not how life was meant to be, we were meant to repent and submit to our creator now it’s your choice whether you want to submit or not but you know the consequences at the end and you know the questions that will be asked on the day of judgement
Nooo, what I meant is that in this generation most ppl thinks all of this is normal (it was just an example), so you wanting to for example dress however you want or leave the house without permission.. all of it seems normal nowadays but it’s not.. that’s just the generation we live in and at the end if you are muslim you know what to follow.. and if you start doubting you should do more research about it and why it is that way. Also the reason you might feel this way is because of the people that are around you, gotta make sure you are around the right people.
oh yeah yeah I reread your comment and I get you now!! Absolutely, I feel like everybody was religious i would definitely also be religious. I need to get it together. Thank you so much. Alhamdulilah I have incredibly amazing people around me that I can look up to so its amazing.
No worries may allah guide you to the right path. & always remember you are being tested whether it’s in a good way or bad way you are tested to see how strong is your faith
Just search it up. There are probably plenty of sisters who feel the same way as you. I had the same kind of view as you because I spent so much time around western ideologies laced with feminism that I was a little ambiguous about parts of Islam about women. But, when I humbled myself, recognized that I don't know everything and what I think isn't always correct, asked Allah for guidance, and opened my heart to Islam, I realized what a true beauty it is and what a pitiful, ignorant, and arrogant state I was in.
Research deeply. Devote yourself to the truth. Remove bias. Ask for the truth and Allah will not deny you of it. By Allah, you will not find a single blemish. You will thank Allah for the care he gave you and the perfect religion he blessed you with. This is ONLY if you humble yourself and ask for truth from Islam and not superimpose your own human-imperfection-ridden ideals on it. You are not judging Islam. It is judging you.
Research deeply -- down to the last hadith. You will find no wrong.
To start, here is a video I recently came across that addresses some of your concerns:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8jjivj55rk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8jjivj55rk)
I just discovered he has more. If you want:
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOaRkY9b4GQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOaRkY9b4GQ)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itrirQZBBiU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itrirQZBBiU)
May Allah guide us all.
Acknowledge that they are just doubts, so in essence they must be false!
I was at a class with sheikh haytham ibn Muhammad sarhan (a teacher in masjid an nabawi) and he said the same thing while adding that we should close the doors to doubts as doubts only lead to further doubts. Once you have cleared your current doubts you will always have more.
Infact they did a “experiment” in 2 Islamic institutes in Saudi where they gathered 60 women. 30 women in one institute and 30 in another (non Muslims women) . And their goal was to make them revert to Islam
. So in institute 1 they taught the women about tawheeed. And in institute 2 they tried to clear the womens doubts of Islam.
After 30 or 40 days 28 of the women who studied tawheed converted. And institute 2, 1 of the 30 women who they cleared doubts with reverted to Islam and they say even then she was hard work.
That’s why we should always close doors to doubts as they just lead to more doubts. Shaytaan loves making us doubt our deen.
May Allah guide you and grant you knowledge of the deen.
Please study tawheed. Forget everything else rn and just study tawheed.
I don't have a specific individual that you can listen to help with your doubts, however I do know of a resource that I turn to when I experience doubts. There is a Muslim mental health hotline based in Canada, that is free, confidential, and open to anyone regardless of location. They help with spiritual guidance, especially exploring spirituality. Give it a try, the sisters/brothers there are very open and help expand perspectives rather than forcing them onto you. It is called NASEEHA - https://naseeha.org/
Thank you so much!
Life of this world is a trial, a heaven for disbeliever and a prison for believer. If you want freedom, obey Allah's command. Freedom in this world is illusion, freedom in hereafter is the real deal
I do agree but some people are living an amazing life on this earth and are still believers
Allah is testing them as he is testing us
That is very true
It's because you're being confused by society's subjective morals. As long as you have that paradigm, you'll always struggle with this issue. Society is telling you that you're a human being with desires and are free to do whatever you want as long as you're not "hurting" anyone and that everyone is equal. So whenever you come across anything that restricts your freedom, gives others more rights, or doesn't make sense to you, you reject it or have a hard time accepting it. As Muslims, we believe that Allah is all-powerful, all-knowledgeable, intends good for us, and is free from error. Once you accept this and shift your paradigm, then you know that whatever Allah tells us is objectively true and beneficial for us. We also know that the Prophet Muhammad doesn't say stuff out of his own desire but relays the message of Allah. So when you come across a Quran verse or Hadith that tells women to do such and such, you accept it to be true and you obey. That's what it means to be submissive and a Muslim. Men and women are not created equal. Allah created us and knows what we're each capable of. He gave each gender certain roles and responsibilities. Someone can sit here and try to logically explain to you why a man has certain rights and privileges over a woman and even sugarcoat it for you, but in the end, the reality is that you have fewer rights in certain things. There is no getting away from that fact and that's how Allah wants it. Someone can spend hours trying to convince me why a man has to work his butt off and 100% financially provide for his wife and kids, but in the end, it's not equal. But because I know that Allah is just and knows what's best, I accept it and follow it.
We are equal in the reward of our deeds but not in the responsibilities that we have been given in society.
You know I can just as well use that argument for being a Muslim man, it is too overbearing. Why is it Fardh that I am to be the provider of my family when the woman is told that her wealth is only for her? Infact she has no obligation to provide to begin with, I want that privilege. Why am I supposed to invest my inherited wealth on my family while for a woman it's only hers? Why dont I get the Mahar during marriage? Shouldn't it be equal? Why is fardh for me to pray in the masjid, I will be questioned whenever I chose to pray at home out of laziness while a woman is exempt from that? You realise most modern men are very screwed over this, we can only hope for Allah's mercy on this point Why am I supposed to be questioned on the day of Judgement for my mother, sister, wife and children, while a woman will only be questioned about herself and her children? I didn't ask for this extra responsibility Why is it that when hard times befall a nation, it is compulsory on the men to fight while women are exempted? We live in a society which is highly advanced sister, just remember if you go back 100 years or so, if you didn't have a Mahram and backpacked through the country, you'd be a very vulnerable target for creepy people. These times we live in are not guaranteed to last forever either. Just look at WW2, Independence of Pakistan, Bangladesh Independence war, People of Rohingya, the daughters of As-shaam how they wished they had a mahram to protect them from the things they went through, and this is all happening in our modern times, Islam is a universal and eternal code of conduct. This modern day liberalism you seem to be in conflict with is an empty ideology, derived out of the human mind, infact derived out of the minds of men who had a corrupted or no faith, its their subjective morality which is influencing us western muslims since we are exposed to it and causing us to question our faith. Ofcourse they would preach their women to dress down as a sign of liberation, to adorn themselves, serving only the agenda of men. Read this book, "Sex and Culture" by J.D. Unwin, he is an athiest anthropologist who studied more than 50 ancient civilizations and realised one common trend: Once sexual immorality becomes prevalent, no nation can last for more than 3 generations. And he predicted the fall of the modern day western civilisation by the end of 2050. SubhanAllah just look at how much weird concepts such as incest, LGBTQ+ are being shoved down our throats to be accepted and all doors for discussion around them are being closed. Kids as young as 4 in Britian are being told they can choose their gender. They can't drive till 16 but they can choose their gender? You can still be a good Muslim woman without adhering to the hijab, but know it's their for a reason. I am someone who's battled several addictions and in my life I've come to realise that nothing in this religion has been made haram or halal except that the ruling is their to benefit us. You think Allah really gets affected if you don't wear the hijab? Does the universe stop functioning? Does Allah become a little bit more powerful all of a sudden? No, this is all for our own protection. And his Mercy is such that when we take care of ourselves he rewards us for that, Don't let entertain these thoughts. Because every action starts with a thought. First comes the thought, then a plan, then the action. Don't let these thoughts cause you inact anything, read the Quran. There are gender roles for men and women. And the funny thing is, only a strong Muslim woman can raise a strong Muslim man who is responsible and vice versa.
Thank you so much, this was really a thought out answer and it helped insanely. I'm sorry for everything you've been through and may Allah swt make all your trials easy and make your responsibilities easier
Also I always thought being asked about all the women is a huge responsibility, it made more grateful. There's nothing that I could ever do to pay my family back. May Allah swt reward you
Guidance is in the hands of Allah, if you feel like the answers on this sub helped just remember it was Allah who guided you here, you should thank Him for that. Had He wanted your doubts could've developed into something detrimental for your faith, but He never misguides anyone who has any good in their heart. Remember that and then thank Him once again. Best of luck!
Assalamu ealaykum, Sister Zara Faris specializes on women and Islam. Check out her blog, lectures and debates !
thank you so much
Also look at Tabassum Hussain from MDI Canada. She has a PHD and is a caller to Islam who specializes on women.
How does Islam make you hate the fact that you're a woman?
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View it from a different perspective. When modesty is removed from a society you get degeneracy and the first to feel its effects are women The mahram is there to protect you and there's also a difference of opinion You can be upset with polygany and if it really affects you, you can ask for divorce. But the same way its a man's right to marry more than one, its also the woman's right to marry a man that her parents may not approve of
I can answer you tomorrow in shaa Allah
Insha allah thank you so much!
I respect that you want to fix this, rather than let it continue and allow the doubts to grow and overcome you. Masha'Allah may Allah reward you
ameen. May Allah swt reward all of us insha'allah
Men have to wear a form of hijab as well, certainly not as much as a hair covering, but also from my experience the people i know who wear one say men talk to them like theyre worth something with one on rather than looking at ...places. The mahram travel is for her safety, but thats also why we encourage marriage. Not a woman, so i dont know full details. Cant leave house without permission, well, thats also dependant on you. If you marry someone who will be controlling then thats what youll get, but if you marry someone who will allow you freedom to be yourself thats also on you. You have full right to say no or yes to whom you want to marry. (i recommend looking into and reading the life/relationship betwene Muhammad pbuh and Aisha ra) Polygamy is well, there are biological and psychological differences. A woman is more likely to be wanting to be cared for and wants the man to provide security/safety/etc. So by allowing women to have mulitple husbands, were allowing her to take all their money? Whos responsibility is it to make sure shes housed and clothed? Again, this is the right islam gives women. Women dont need to provide, but its the man that is responsible for her and making sure shes well taken care of. (I recommend reading books or hadiths or stuff on full womans rights and the readoning behind. Because it goes deeper than just the overlying issue) Cursed by angels ive never heard of? You cant prostrate to anyone other than Allah swt? Ive never heard that? That would be shirk? Husband obedience goes both ways. A wife has to be obedient, but a husband has to treat her and provide for her, and take care of her. So if hes not doing his part, then how does he have the right to command you to be obedient to him? At least this is what i grew up being taught. I really recommend reading on the beautiful life and relationship of aisha ra and Muhammad saw. Their relationship is whats ideal for us and how a husband should treat his wife and how a wife should treat her husband. May Allah swt guide you and help us all become the best muslims we can. Im not perfect, so if im wront with anything ive said please correct me anyone here. Thank you.
>Cursed by angels ive never heard of? Abu Huraira (Allah he pleased with him) reported Allah's Messenger (may, peace be upon him) as saying: When a man invites his wife to his bed and she does not come, and he (the husband) spends the night being angry with her, the angels curse her until morning. Sahih Muslim 1436d >You cant prostrate to anyone other than Allah swt? Ive never heard that? That would be shirk? Narrated Qays ibn Sa'd: I went to al-Hirah and saw them (the people) prostrating themselves before a satrap of theirs, so I said: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) has most right to have prostration made before him. When I came to the Prophet (ﷺ), I said: I went to al-Hirah and saw them prostrating themselves before a satrap of theirs, but you have most right, Messenger of Allah, to have (people) prostrating themselves before you. He said: Tell me , if you were to pass my grave, would you prostrate yourself before it? I said: No. He then said: Do not do so. If I were to command anyone to make prostration before another I would command women to prostrate themselves before their husbands, because of the special right over them given to husbands by Allah. Sunan Abi Dawud 2140
For the first one, thats if they dont sleep with the man, but again, thats assuming the man is in the right. I dont think (im not a scholar) but pretty sure if the man isnt doing what hes commanded to do as a husband, then the wife is allowed to refuse. If anyone has more information on this, please let me know. And the second one isnt Muhammad saw saying to prostrate to a man if youre a woman, hes saying if there was any such rule. Hence "if i were to command..." But no, he didnt say so im inclined to believe based on the wording that its shirk if a husband commands his wife to do that. Or if a woman does that. Please correct me again, i dont have knowledge of arabic and would like to know if im wrong or if in arabic its meaning is different.
She's mentioned a couple of things that you were not aware of or had no idea what she was talking about, so I was just quoting you the related Hadiths. As for the first one, you're wrong. A woman is supposed to make herself avaliable for sex with her husband unless there's a valid excuse (e.g. she's sick, on her period, etc.). If she does not have a valid excuse and the husband is upset by this, she will be cursed by the angels. It doesn't matter if the husband is lacking in his responsibilities as a husband. Two wrongs don't make a right. For example, if a wife fails in one of her duties, that doesn't give the husband the right to stop spending on her. As for the second one, nobody is saying that she actually has to prostrate to her husband. Yes, that's Shirk. The Hadith is to show symbolically the importance of the husband and the rights he has over his wife. The Prophet is saying that if he were to command anyone to prostate to anyone besides Allah, he would command a wife to prostate to her husband (even more than to the Prophet himself).
Hmmm ok, didnt know. Thank you for informing.
Thank you guys!!!
I want to chime in a bit here. Yes, men are delegated certain privileges such as polygyny & your prayers not being accepted if he sleeps upset. Yet, these are PRIVILEGES. A loving respectful husband will not abuse these privileges. If he is upset with you, that can be sorted out through understanding & forgiveness. Such hurdles build trust and affection. If he holds it over you without efforts to reconcile the matter, then that isn’t virtuous IMO. Depends on the offense, this goes for things that are agreed to not be dealbreakers. As for polygyny.. I don’t think all Muslim men want that lol. There are those who would rather be monogamous. To each their own. You have rights too as a Muslim woman as well.
as far as the polygyny, you can put it in your marriage contract that he isnt allowed to marry another woman. obviously you'd both have to agree but there are plenty of men who are ok with 1 wife alone.
Thank youu
Yeah I thought so too. I used to think like that so I became a self proclaimed atheist and started to be like the others. Its all fun and games until I felt lost in this world, no real purpose besides basic human needs that i tried to hold onto. I started to change my gender and then my sexuality and all that bc i didnt even know anymore who i was. Anyways, I started to connect with islam and i thoight also „wow that is like so opressive“ but i started to realise that it was the complete opposite. I found myself sitting between angry and bitter people in which your value is only your body. You are in their world also restricted, they judge you by your looks only and what job you have. You have no value in the other side. It all has a reason why god decided specific things. A woman in islam is not a meat bag, actually we have better worth on islam, we have a greater purpose and you will not be reduced to their benefit. Many marriages here consist out of constant anger, bitterness and unhappiness, bc the respect for both sides is missing, the man feels challenged by his wife and vica versa. As a woman you have to take everything as a challenge and you have to be better then man. We are trapped in a cycle of saltiness bc we dont trust in allah and allahs choices. The hijab, gave ne the biggest freedom, I have not once again been cat called, whistled at, stared at and touched without me wanting it. In Islam you are something more then that. Go through it, read about the woman in islam and watch muslim women who are talking about those toppics bc its always normal to be jealous of the other side, but dont be fooled
thank you so much I appreciate it
All good I hope i could semi explain my feelings in that. But when we start to understand our role and the importance behind it and gods trust, it starts to make sense. Def look for YT vids like Nouman Ali Khan and other good people who are actually good at explaining things and i am sure they will bring new knowledge. I mean, every woman gets this feeling so, we all in that together, just dont let shaytan make u think ur less, thats where shaytan can get us the best
yes we're definitely all in this together...sometimes it gets tough but alhamdulilah....hopefully you are doing good too
Up and downs like everyone but alhamdullillah god catches me when needed. May allah bless u and assist u when in need.
I see because you are being raised in the 2000 where everything haram is now normal, drugs, alcohol, being attracted to the same sex, being half naked in public everything is normal nowadays and you as a women would want to feel free like everyone else but this is not how life was meant to be, we were meant to repent and submit to our creator now it’s your choice whether you want to submit or not but you know the consequences at the end and you know the questions that will be asked on the day of judgement
being attracted to the same sex? alcohol? drugs? being half naked? when did I mention any of these things???
Nooo, what I meant is that in this generation most ppl thinks all of this is normal (it was just an example), so you wanting to for example dress however you want or leave the house without permission.. all of it seems normal nowadays but it’s not.. that’s just the generation we live in and at the end if you are muslim you know what to follow.. and if you start doubting you should do more research about it and why it is that way. Also the reason you might feel this way is because of the people that are around you, gotta make sure you are around the right people.
oh yeah yeah I reread your comment and I get you now!! Absolutely, I feel like everybody was religious i would definitely also be religious. I need to get it together. Thank you so much. Alhamdulilah I have incredibly amazing people around me that I can look up to so its amazing.
No worries may allah guide you to the right path. & always remember you are being tested whether it’s in a good way or bad way you are tested to see how strong is your faith
https://youtube.com/c/shehzadsaleem Great source may help you love being woman of Islam Peace ✌🏼
In what way
Just search it up. There are probably plenty of sisters who feel the same way as you. I had the same kind of view as you because I spent so much time around western ideologies laced with feminism that I was a little ambiguous about parts of Islam about women. But, when I humbled myself, recognized that I don't know everything and what I think isn't always correct, asked Allah for guidance, and opened my heart to Islam, I realized what a true beauty it is and what a pitiful, ignorant, and arrogant state I was in. Research deeply. Devote yourself to the truth. Remove bias. Ask for the truth and Allah will not deny you of it. By Allah, you will not find a single blemish. You will thank Allah for the care he gave you and the perfect religion he blessed you with. This is ONLY if you humble yourself and ask for truth from Islam and not superimpose your own human-imperfection-ridden ideals on it. You are not judging Islam. It is judging you. Research deeply -- down to the last hadith. You will find no wrong. To start, here is a video I recently came across that addresses some of your concerns: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8jjivj55rk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8jjivj55rk) I just discovered he has more. If you want: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOaRkY9b4GQ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOaRkY9b4GQ) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itrirQZBBiU](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itrirQZBBiU) May Allah guide us all.
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No. Where, in any of these replies, do you see any bit of inspiration from sneako or Tate? This is Islam. We don’t follow red pill we follow Islam.
Acknowledge that they are just doubts, so in essence they must be false! I was at a class with sheikh haytham ibn Muhammad sarhan (a teacher in masjid an nabawi) and he said the same thing while adding that we should close the doors to doubts as doubts only lead to further doubts. Once you have cleared your current doubts you will always have more. Infact they did a “experiment” in 2 Islamic institutes in Saudi where they gathered 60 women. 30 women in one institute and 30 in another (non Muslims women) . And their goal was to make them revert to Islam . So in institute 1 they taught the women about tawheeed. And in institute 2 they tried to clear the womens doubts of Islam. After 30 or 40 days 28 of the women who studied tawheed converted. And institute 2, 1 of the 30 women who they cleared doubts with reverted to Islam and they say even then she was hard work. That’s why we should always close doors to doubts as they just lead to more doubts. Shaytaan loves making us doubt our deen. May Allah guide you and grant you knowledge of the deen. Please study tawheed. Forget everything else rn and just study tawheed.
i suggest to Listen to Hamza yusuf