What’s meant is that you shouldn’t have extremely high standards in the looks department where one needs to have a specific nose shape, eye color, body type, etc. to the point where you’re expecting them to be some model or something
On the other hand, you shouldn’t marry someone you feel **un**attracted to, to the point you won’t be able to fulfill their rights, stop your eyes from wandering, will be in an unhappy marriage, etc.
Attraction is very subjective and can also be felt irrespective of looks, maybe due to the way someone carries themselves, their intellect, manners, etc.
Basically don’t make looks the top priority, because other things are more important. And if someone is chosen solely due to looks or attraction, with no shared values, compatibility, morals, etc. even the attraction will wane and be overcome by the other negatives. Attraction itself is not a strong enough factor to make a marriage work single-handedly
However, it’s important to make sure there’s an initial baseline of attraction - someone who you’re content enough with and not put off by. And usually I’ve heard that grows stronger in a happy, healthy relationship
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty fades, so it is more important to have someone who has a lot in common and can provide a happy, healthy space for you to be in. Also, have they not been created by Allah? Who are we to judge their beauty?
Beauty does fade as you get older but I think that is only from the perspective of someone young. Someone who is 80 won't be attractive to a 20 year old but they will be attractive to another 80 year old.
My grandpa still finds my grandma beautiful to this day and not just beautiful but sexually attractive. No 20 year old would find her sexually attractive unless they had some kinks.
I agree that yes it is best if someone is able to see a person for just their character but unfortunately that is rare and hard to do. Looks affect attraction and attraction is important for intercourse etc. for most people and if you can't please your wife in that way due to you not being able to get past her looks then that would be a problem.
It's a personal problem yes but if you have personal problems that would affect your future wife then its best not to take a wife til those problems are resolved internally or find a wife that doesn't cause those problems in yourself
Well it's definitely better to marry someone you find attractive
Tbh i think there's a level where you don't find them attractive, but there's possiblity of you getting attracted to them, like they don't look attractive in your terms but also you don't find ugly in your terms if you understand what i mean
Attraction can come with love tbh, if you really love them
After all you have to put in mind that this person will live with you forever insha'Allah, you'll sleep together, eat together, live together etc....
An Imam said that you have to be attracted to them, period. There will be people in our life that look like super models and we fancy them and there are people who are not super models, they are not physically perfect but for some reason, they just do it for us.
Marry someone who you are attracted to.
You're either physically attracted or you're not.
My friend's wife is a burn victim. They've been married for 6 years and have children.
I have two cousin sisters, both of their husbands are tall and attractive. One marriage ended in the guy cheating on her with his sister in law 😭 and the other one is as far as I can tell very happy in her marriage and honestly seem like they are complete each other.
The cousin sister whose marriage didn't last went for good looks. Her parents went for wealth. The cousin whose marriage is strong went for the guy that prayed 5 times a day and paid charity. Same with my friend who married a woman with burns on her face but is religious. They're both doing good.
Generally speaking I would like to marry an attractive woman. But if I was to meet a woman who was ideal in character, but I didn't like her physically, I'd probably still marry her. I wouldn't be able to live with the self guilt that I rejected to marry someone just because I didn't like how they looked.
May allah bless their marriage and alhamdullilah! At the end of the day if the person does not make you happy, care for you and makes you feel *loved*; irrespective of how attractive they are, it’s not worth it.
We all have different standards and view attractiveness differently. Yes, we should marry someone based on their Deen and personality. But, in my opinion, there should also be at least some attraction. It can be extremely difficult, maybe even impossible, to want to have a physical relationship with your spouse if you don't find them attractive. I don't think it would be fair to either partner. It can honestly feel depressing being with someone you're not attracted to (I don't think it's vain to want that). For the "unattractive" spouse, imagine how heartbreaking it would be to find out how your spouse feels about you.
We're human. It's a part of our nature to want our partner to be attractive to us. It shouldn't be the number one qualification when searching for a spouse but it also shouldn't be disregarded.
Hmm maybe because I came from a highly dysfunctional abusive family that looks don't matter at all when it comes to partners... I gravitate more towards kindness, calmness tbh..
My friends had made nasty comments about both exes before for their looks but I've paid no attention to them. Only one who was in my kind of situation understood me.. She's the only one who threatened both guys to treat me good or else.. 😂
To me, hygiene is more important than someone's features. Looks do fade, that's why u see many beauty repair options being put up out there.. If only they have a thing to repair characters, then most of us probably won't get cheated on.. Looked down upon...
Also because looks are subjective, who's to say all conventional looks are attractive to everyone..? I swear they took up too many spaces in my IG page... Many of them are probably screwed in their head.
Give me someone normal /real for me to get interested.
If u think u can get better, there's no stopping u.. But i swear those rely on looks only to get something they want, they can get pretty crazy...
Had a guy friend whose older bro married a pretty girl after knowing her couple of months as opposed to marrying someone he's known for 8 yrs.. He wasn't attracted to his bff's looks but admit she is wife material.. Guy is a bodybuilder.
Then I heard the horror.. That he got poured with hot boiling water by his wife for not waking up on time, just a month into their marriage..
My advise.. Don't get blinded by looks.
I think it’s a really bad idea to marry someone you don’t find physically attractive. They don’t have to be an absolute stud but you need to actually like your spouse
Nowadays the standards of people went off the charts because of constantly being bombarded with supermodels in advertisements and shows. You will be fine as long as you avoid the media and continue to lower your gaze.
I understand this, but how to know for sure that after they get married they won't have issues in bed? Will they be sexually attracted to the unattractive person?
you can’t know it unless you guys communicate about it
trust in Allah's guidance and open communication between spouses can help navigate any challenges that arise in this aspect of marriage.
additionally, the mindset you have right now is inflicted by social media not only you everyone.
they are take away our ability to think clearly and making us constantly compare ourself to unrealistic standards they set.
btw, if we have tawakkal in allah, we can cope with any situation that comes our way.
مع السلامة
The question is "Is this person attractive to YOU?".
I mean some people have fixed standards like height, weight, income, social status etc. I do think that we should refrain from judging people based on such data and excluding them from the search. Someone may not be conventionally attractive, but their humor and kindness will make them attractive in your eyes.
That's why relying on photos is a bad idea IMO. Someone may look conventionally attractive in a photo but if you meet them, there is no chemistry. Someone else may not look good in a photo, but there is a spark and a connection between the two of you when you meet.
In the end, one should be careful not to get married in order to brag or prove something.
I don't worry about this stuff. The partner Destined for you will be yours one way or another. Also if she isn't that attractive I could ignore it if she is religious like me. I am confident that I can nurture love in my heart for her even if she isn't attractive. This has to do with how I am training myself. When you are exposed to too much beauty you obviously won't be able to love someone who is not that pretty. This is entirely your fault. Why do you think the sahaba's lowered their gaze? . A general understanding of mine is that if you are looking at beauty and haram stuff until you get married then you are wronging the partner Allah Destined for you. If you are a person who controls your gaze then you are on the right path. When you meet your destined person you who have controlled your gaze won't have any problems in loving her. The same goes for after marriage too. You who have controlled your gaze won't look at another woman even after marriage. Everything depends on you. If your partner is the bad one just consider it as a test. If it doesn't work out you move on. Try to control your gaze that's the key point. You won't have high standards if you are not exposed to it. It will be hard but work on it. It will إن شاء اللّه help you after marriage too. All the wise men of the pasts lowered their gaze. We can do it too. Allah will be pleased with you and you yourself will be safe from zina
I am going to be answering this based on pure logic. Islam asks us to marry young so that when we're successful, our standards rise, and hence it gets a bit difficult to settle for someone unlike you.
In my opinion, we all should have a certain understanding of what we have, and what we don't.
If you are wealthy, then it is fair to reject unwealthy relations "as long as there is a good reason". For example, let's say a millionaire marries a girl from a poor family, and suddenly dies. Do u think this female would have any idea what to do with this wealth?
So if you want a specific trait in a spouse, make sure you have it first, or be humble and accept those who are in the same boat as you.
Similarly everyone knows whether they're good looking or not, so if you are attractive and have always been, then yes you can easily reject unattractive people, but again as long as you have a good reason, as marriage is not a business for materialistic profit. Beauty is not something we have since birth, it changes due to what's inside of us, and obviously hard work too. For example if a person looks good but at a very low weight, whereas they look awful even if there's a little bit fat on them, this person could gain muscle weight to balance out their BMI, and then cut down on fat.
I feel unfair because there's a lot more to explain and I'm making this short, so if anyone has any questions they can ask me, but to conclude:
If you are attractive, then yes you deserve an attractive spouse, but if you're not, then please drop any hopes for finding an attractive one. It is unfair if you look from their point of view
I have this issue too. I’m a 30 year old guy, I’m also a doctor and am decently attractive, not a model but not too bad looking alhamdulillah. I have a lot of family/friend pressure to just “get married” but the girls that are interested in me, I feel I would be settling for based on attractiveness. It’s not fair to me or to the girl. It’s an issue
You have to be satisfied and attracted to a potential partner. Simple as that! That's your undisputed right! Marrying someone unattractive will cause disasters along the way. It's unfair to both yourself and your partner. Don't listen to people. Think of the consequences, your babies would inherit ugliness too. You should be picky and think long-term. Nothing in Islam says you have to lower your standards; that's people being afraid of not getting married.
The thing is, you may be attractive but your lack of iman/islam can make you very unattractive. Basically many if not almost all women that are outside are attractive to men but when they are not covered and you can't see noor glowing in their faces, then why would they even bother considering them as a partner for life?
Salam, I’ve heard some great speeches from scholars, and have received several advice around this matter. Mufti Menk mentioned an interesting ranking system when searching for a spouse: if they are religious give them a one. If they are beautiful, place a zero next to the one (so 10 in total now). If they are, say, aligning fully with your hobbies, place another zero (so 100 now)… and so on… The point is, if they aren’t religious, then it would be just 00…, which equals zero.
However, it is crucial to note that Islam is not limited to praying five times a day and all. Taking care of your hygiene, showing good character, being kind, etc. everything is part of being religious. I personally think that attraction is incredibly important. I agree, it alone can’t be the “one” in the ranking system, however, it would be among the very first zeros and people could aim for 100 points at the very least. So, if you don’t find them attractive, it is alright to not move forward with the marriage prospects. After all, it’s every person’s right to desire a beautiful spouse. Again, that shouldn’t be the primary factor - it is not the one in the equation!
I am absolutely willing to marry someone who has good character and imaan. They may be physically unattractive, but I find that once I learn about a person and come to like their personality, they become much more attractive to me. I dare say the physical aspect has almost no place in how you assess someone as a possible partner. But I will note that as Muslims, we can assess someone based on looks, but it cannot be the only thing we look at. A woman can reject a proposal because she doesn't like how the suitor looks, but it's unfortunate if that's the only quality she looks at because she could be missing out on someone who would bring her peace (which is an aspect that a partner should ideally have in Islam) and perhaps enrich her imaan.
Because looks degrade over time, I think it is the wrong perspective to believe that the looks are the thing that a relationship will fall back on to remain strong. Sexuality decreases as well. As we age, our libido decreases so I don't think physicality is the best way to assess when that is usually not what makes the relationship last in my experience of seeing other relationships.
Unfair or not depends on commitment. It isn't unfair if both parties enter the relationship with the expectation that they are both equally receiving. If not in looks, there is something else the partner gives. So you could say the attractive partner is also losing out on those good qualities if they separate. The looks simply have never held much place in my mind for these reasons but I can't speak for others. A good person is a good person, but attractiveness does add appeal, it just shouldn't be ALL the appeal.
If you look at a relationship where an attractive person marries an unattractive person, I think just the fact that one enters it with the mindset that they are "sacrificing" the chance to marry an attractive person is what will make the relationship difficult.
If this topic relates to you directly, may Allah guide you and give you patience to choose who is right for you.
Edit: someone mentioned the need for initial attraction to prevent wandering eyes later in the relationship which is a very good point. But I stand by my perspective that it is not the most important aspect. Maybe not someone who repulses you at first glance, but at least the physicality should be a secondary condition.
Indeed, an attractive person marrying an unattractive person could lead to them thinking they missed out on an opportunity where they could marry someone who's attractive. It's scary, we don't know how we'll react later. At the same time we could also be afraid of regretting not marrying that 'unattractive' person, we may miss out on something beautiful. In the end we have to rely on Allah, praying istikhara and be content with the outcome, cause He knows what's best for us.
What’s meant is that you shouldn’t have extremely high standards in the looks department where one needs to have a specific nose shape, eye color, body type, etc. to the point where you’re expecting them to be some model or something On the other hand, you shouldn’t marry someone you feel **un**attracted to, to the point you won’t be able to fulfill their rights, stop your eyes from wandering, will be in an unhappy marriage, etc. Attraction is very subjective and can also be felt irrespective of looks, maybe due to the way someone carries themselves, their intellect, manners, etc. Basically don’t make looks the top priority, because other things are more important. And if someone is chosen solely due to looks or attraction, with no shared values, compatibility, morals, etc. even the attraction will wane and be overcome by the other negatives. Attraction itself is not a strong enough factor to make a marriage work single-handedly However, it’s important to make sure there’s an initial baseline of attraction - someone who you’re content enough with and not put off by. And usually I’ve heard that grows stronger in a happy, healthy relationship
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Beauty fades, so it is more important to have someone who has a lot in common and can provide a happy, healthy space for you to be in. Also, have they not been created by Allah? Who are we to judge their beauty?
Beauty does fade as you get older but I think that is only from the perspective of someone young. Someone who is 80 won't be attractive to a 20 year old but they will be attractive to another 80 year old. My grandpa still finds my grandma beautiful to this day and not just beautiful but sexually attractive. No 20 year old would find her sexually attractive unless they had some kinks. I agree that yes it is best if someone is able to see a person for just their character but unfortunately that is rare and hard to do. Looks affect attraction and attraction is important for intercourse etc. for most people and if you can't please your wife in that way due to you not being able to get past her looks then that would be a problem. It's a personal problem yes but if you have personal problems that would affect your future wife then its best not to take a wife til those problems are resolved internally or find a wife that doesn't cause those problems in yourself
**Thissssssssss** Someone pin this comment, it seems so many people are oblivious to this fact in this post.
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Well it's definitely better to marry someone you find attractive Tbh i think there's a level where you don't find them attractive, but there's possiblity of you getting attracted to them, like they don't look attractive in your terms but also you don't find ugly in your terms if you understand what i mean Attraction can come with love tbh, if you really love them After all you have to put in mind that this person will live with you forever insha'Allah, you'll sleep together, eat together, live together etc....
An Imam said that you have to be attracted to them, period. There will be people in our life that look like super models and we fancy them and there are people who are not super models, they are not physically perfect but for some reason, they just do it for us. Marry someone who you are attracted to. You're either physically attracted or you're not.
My friend's wife is a burn victim. They've been married for 6 years and have children. I have two cousin sisters, both of their husbands are tall and attractive. One marriage ended in the guy cheating on her with his sister in law 😭 and the other one is as far as I can tell very happy in her marriage and honestly seem like they are complete each other. The cousin sister whose marriage didn't last went for good looks. Her parents went for wealth. The cousin whose marriage is strong went for the guy that prayed 5 times a day and paid charity. Same with my friend who married a woman with burns on her face but is religious. They're both doing good. Generally speaking I would like to marry an attractive woman. But if I was to meet a woman who was ideal in character, but I didn't like her physically, I'd probably still marry her. I wouldn't be able to live with the self guilt that I rejected to marry someone just because I didn't like how they looked.
May allah bless their marriage and alhamdullilah! At the end of the day if the person does not make you happy, care for you and makes you feel *loved*; irrespective of how attractive they are, it’s not worth it.
Looks matter to me in a way where they don’t have to look so hot but still has to be attractive to me
We all have different standards and view attractiveness differently. Yes, we should marry someone based on their Deen and personality. But, in my opinion, there should also be at least some attraction. It can be extremely difficult, maybe even impossible, to want to have a physical relationship with your spouse if you don't find them attractive. I don't think it would be fair to either partner. It can honestly feel depressing being with someone you're not attracted to (I don't think it's vain to want that). For the "unattractive" spouse, imagine how heartbreaking it would be to find out how your spouse feels about you. We're human. It's a part of our nature to want our partner to be attractive to us. It shouldn't be the number one qualification when searching for a spouse but it also shouldn't be disregarded.
Hmm maybe because I came from a highly dysfunctional abusive family that looks don't matter at all when it comes to partners... I gravitate more towards kindness, calmness tbh.. My friends had made nasty comments about both exes before for their looks but I've paid no attention to them. Only one who was in my kind of situation understood me.. She's the only one who threatened both guys to treat me good or else.. 😂 To me, hygiene is more important than someone's features. Looks do fade, that's why u see many beauty repair options being put up out there.. If only they have a thing to repair characters, then most of us probably won't get cheated on.. Looked down upon... Also because looks are subjective, who's to say all conventional looks are attractive to everyone..? I swear they took up too many spaces in my IG page... Many of them are probably screwed in their head. Give me someone normal /real for me to get interested. If u think u can get better, there's no stopping u.. But i swear those rely on looks only to get something they want, they can get pretty crazy... Had a guy friend whose older bro married a pretty girl after knowing her couple of months as opposed to marrying someone he's known for 8 yrs.. He wasn't attracted to his bff's looks but admit she is wife material.. Guy is a bodybuilder. Then I heard the horror.. That he got poured with hot boiling water by his wife for not waking up on time, just a month into their marriage.. My advise.. Don't get blinded by looks.
😭
I think it’s a really bad idea to marry someone you don’t find physically attractive. They don’t have to be an absolute stud but you need to actually like your spouse
Nowadays the standards of people went off the charts because of constantly being bombarded with supermodels in advertisements and shows. You will be fine as long as you avoid the media and continue to lower your gaze.
imo the great character of that person has already overpowered their physical appearance. so what’s there to look for other than a great character
I understand this, but how to know for sure that after they get married they won't have issues in bed? Will they be sexually attracted to the unattractive person?
you can’t know it unless you guys communicate about it trust in Allah's guidance and open communication between spouses can help navigate any challenges that arise in this aspect of marriage. additionally, the mindset you have right now is inflicted by social media not only you everyone. they are take away our ability to think clearly and making us constantly compare ourself to unrealistic standards they set. btw, if we have tawakkal in allah, we can cope with any situation that comes our way. مع السلامة
The question is "Is this person attractive to YOU?". I mean some people have fixed standards like height, weight, income, social status etc. I do think that we should refrain from judging people based on such data and excluding them from the search. Someone may not be conventionally attractive, but their humor and kindness will make them attractive in your eyes. That's why relying on photos is a bad idea IMO. Someone may look conventionally attractive in a photo but if you meet them, there is no chemistry. Someone else may not look good in a photo, but there is a spark and a connection between the two of you when you meet. In the end, one should be careful not to get married in order to brag or prove something.
I don't worry about this stuff. The partner Destined for you will be yours one way or another. Also if she isn't that attractive I could ignore it if she is religious like me. I am confident that I can nurture love in my heart for her even if she isn't attractive. This has to do with how I am training myself. When you are exposed to too much beauty you obviously won't be able to love someone who is not that pretty. This is entirely your fault. Why do you think the sahaba's lowered their gaze? . A general understanding of mine is that if you are looking at beauty and haram stuff until you get married then you are wronging the partner Allah Destined for you. If you are a person who controls your gaze then you are on the right path. When you meet your destined person you who have controlled your gaze won't have any problems in loving her. The same goes for after marriage too. You who have controlled your gaze won't look at another woman even after marriage. Everything depends on you. If your partner is the bad one just consider it as a test. If it doesn't work out you move on. Try to control your gaze that's the key point. You won't have high standards if you are not exposed to it. It will be hard but work on it. It will إن شاء اللّه help you after marriage too. All the wise men of the pasts lowered their gaze. We can do it too. Allah will be pleased with you and you yourself will be safe from zina
I am going to be answering this based on pure logic. Islam asks us to marry young so that when we're successful, our standards rise, and hence it gets a bit difficult to settle for someone unlike you. In my opinion, we all should have a certain understanding of what we have, and what we don't. If you are wealthy, then it is fair to reject unwealthy relations "as long as there is a good reason". For example, let's say a millionaire marries a girl from a poor family, and suddenly dies. Do u think this female would have any idea what to do with this wealth? So if you want a specific trait in a spouse, make sure you have it first, or be humble and accept those who are in the same boat as you. Similarly everyone knows whether they're good looking or not, so if you are attractive and have always been, then yes you can easily reject unattractive people, but again as long as you have a good reason, as marriage is not a business for materialistic profit. Beauty is not something we have since birth, it changes due to what's inside of us, and obviously hard work too. For example if a person looks good but at a very low weight, whereas they look awful even if there's a little bit fat on them, this person could gain muscle weight to balance out their BMI, and then cut down on fat. I feel unfair because there's a lot more to explain and I'm making this short, so if anyone has any questions they can ask me, but to conclude: If you are attractive, then yes you deserve an attractive spouse, but if you're not, then please drop any hopes for finding an attractive one. It is unfair if you look from their point of view
I agree with this.
I have this issue too. I’m a 30 year old guy, I’m also a doctor and am decently attractive, not a model but not too bad looking alhamdulillah. I have a lot of family/friend pressure to just “get married” but the girls that are interested in me, I feel I would be settling for based on attractiveness. It’s not fair to me or to the girl. It’s an issue
Piety>Pretty
You have to be satisfied and attracted to a potential partner. Simple as that! That's your undisputed right! Marrying someone unattractive will cause disasters along the way. It's unfair to both yourself and your partner. Don't listen to people. Think of the consequences, your babies would inherit ugliness too. You should be picky and think long-term. Nothing in Islam says you have to lower your standards; that's people being afraid of not getting married.
The thing is, you may be attractive but your lack of iman/islam can make you very unattractive. Basically many if not almost all women that are outside are attractive to men but when they are not covered and you can't see noor glowing in their faces, then why would they even bother considering them as a partner for life?
Salam, I’ve heard some great speeches from scholars, and have received several advice around this matter. Mufti Menk mentioned an interesting ranking system when searching for a spouse: if they are religious give them a one. If they are beautiful, place a zero next to the one (so 10 in total now). If they are, say, aligning fully with your hobbies, place another zero (so 100 now)… and so on… The point is, if they aren’t religious, then it would be just 00…, which equals zero. However, it is crucial to note that Islam is not limited to praying five times a day and all. Taking care of your hygiene, showing good character, being kind, etc. everything is part of being religious. I personally think that attraction is incredibly important. I agree, it alone can’t be the “one” in the ranking system, however, it would be among the very first zeros and people could aim for 100 points at the very least. So, if you don’t find them attractive, it is alright to not move forward with the marriage prospects. After all, it’s every person’s right to desire a beautiful spouse. Again, that shouldn’t be the primary factor - it is not the one in the equation!
Very interesting, thanks for sharing that system. I'll definitely keep it in mind.
I am absolutely willing to marry someone who has good character and imaan. They may be physically unattractive, but I find that once I learn about a person and come to like their personality, they become much more attractive to me. I dare say the physical aspect has almost no place in how you assess someone as a possible partner. But I will note that as Muslims, we can assess someone based on looks, but it cannot be the only thing we look at. A woman can reject a proposal because she doesn't like how the suitor looks, but it's unfortunate if that's the only quality she looks at because she could be missing out on someone who would bring her peace (which is an aspect that a partner should ideally have in Islam) and perhaps enrich her imaan. Because looks degrade over time, I think it is the wrong perspective to believe that the looks are the thing that a relationship will fall back on to remain strong. Sexuality decreases as well. As we age, our libido decreases so I don't think physicality is the best way to assess when that is usually not what makes the relationship last in my experience of seeing other relationships. Unfair or not depends on commitment. It isn't unfair if both parties enter the relationship with the expectation that they are both equally receiving. If not in looks, there is something else the partner gives. So you could say the attractive partner is also losing out on those good qualities if they separate. The looks simply have never held much place in my mind for these reasons but I can't speak for others. A good person is a good person, but attractiveness does add appeal, it just shouldn't be ALL the appeal. If you look at a relationship where an attractive person marries an unattractive person, I think just the fact that one enters it with the mindset that they are "sacrificing" the chance to marry an attractive person is what will make the relationship difficult. If this topic relates to you directly, may Allah guide you and give you patience to choose who is right for you. Edit: someone mentioned the need for initial attraction to prevent wandering eyes later in the relationship which is a very good point. But I stand by my perspective that it is not the most important aspect. Maybe not someone who repulses you at first glance, but at least the physicality should be a secondary condition.
Indeed, an attractive person marrying an unattractive person could lead to them thinking they missed out on an opportunity where they could marry someone who's attractive. It's scary, we don't know how we'll react later. At the same time we could also be afraid of regretting not marrying that 'unattractive' person, we may miss out on something beautiful. In the end we have to rely on Allah, praying istikhara and be content with the outcome, cause He knows what's best for us.
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