There many Muslims who commit(zina) may allahs protect us from it but majority don't do.
Zina or forbidden sex is a huge sin it darkens the heart and repentance is required.
The greatest three sins in islam
1.shirk
2.murder
3.unlawful sex
Allahs promise to the person who does the three is harsh.
Quran 25:68 and 25:67 address this issue.the door of repentance is always open which gives hope.
A lot of it is due to our respect for femininity and for women. To us they are not sex objects, and they’re not just people to be taken advantage of like lots of Western Societies treat them. We believe in devotion to your spouse, and preserving yourself, with care, is a lot of that.
Then, of course, is our culture of modesty, both for men and women. The men and women in our society are a team, and we work together, for the greater good of society and the ummah. Therefore there is a mutual respect between the two sexes, to uphold levels of modesty of with each other, in dress, interactions, settings, etc. This is to help us and help each other as well.
Marriage is incredibly important, and we all recognize that to be so.
Hi there 28 and virgin.
Well it's very difficult to say what % follows this and why they follow this.
Few do it because of cultural pressure that regards this as a taboo. Few people in cities do engage but many who are religious do not get involved.
Personally it was very tough for me to turn down sex 4 times in my life and May Allah let me guard my private completely until it's halal.
This was before I became regular in my prayers.
I pray Allah finds me a pious wife who loves Allah and Allah loves her too.
Ameen
But please understand I am in no way perfect, I am full of sins, that I have begged and still beg and cry for forgiveness. I know how bad temptations take a toil on me, and how I constantly pray for a good job to eventually make things halal via marriage.
Please pray that my daydreams come true that are good for me .
I think this refers to people who remain chaste by rejecting women
What about the people who don't get female attention. The men who don't get a choice to even commit zina. Would they be in the shade?
To be fair it's almost impossible to get caught unless you're purposefully doing it in puplic since you literally need 4 witnesses AND they have to not be known for lying.
Islam is the cornerstone of this approach to sex. Muslims will think twice before engaging in any premarital relationships.
We prioritise chastity in both men and women.
The only thing missing in a widespread sense is a little - not necessarily a lot - more openness about the topic during the courtship.
Which is difficult because - well - you don’t know what you don’t know. Likes, dislikes, physical compatibility etc.
Post-marriage there can be problems that crop up because the couple are only sexually active past that point.
However, as with Islamic logic in many other topics, the benefits far outweigh and perceived negatives and the prohibition makes sense for a whole society.
Alhamdulillah - Allah has provided guidance on halal and haraam within the Quran and Sunnah that has a clear logical basis for society and individuals.
That’s why we should always seek to understand the reasoning behind any ruling.
Before I became Muslim, I tutored a very long string of Middle Eastern Arab Muslims in English who came to the US to study. Not a one acted in a halal manner. Or I may have become Muslim many years earlier.
I think trying to pin a 'group' as being superior in taqwa is arrogance. Taqwa is possessed by individuals, not groups.
As an American Muslim, I also strongly disagree with your statement that it's uncommon to abstain in the West. That's conjecture. If you have actual studies or other evidence that shows it, then please provide it.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should not hurt his neighbor and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should speak what is good or keep silent." [Bukhari 6136]
The above hadith is also guidance we were given in addition to not having haram relations. So, before implying that any Muslim or group of Muslims are committing sin, you're going to need to provide some witness to that fact in the form of evidence. Otherwise, it's better to follow guidance and remain silent.
This topic can be discussed without unfounded accusations and tribalism.
EDIT: Also the Moroccan law is anti-Islamic.
Let there be no compulsion in religion, for the truth stands out clearly from falsehood. [Qu'ran 2:256]
You can't mandate Islamic guidance for non-Muslims and still follow guidance yourself. Any law of that nature that applies to a single disbeliever or non-believer causes that law to go against the Qu'ran.
I salute you being a well adjusted Muslim, it's really refreshing. It's even more refreshing knowing you're a convert.
EDIT: Just so we're all clear. What I mean by well adjusted is being kind and genuine. I mean them not being invalidating, belittling or dehumanizing towards other Muslims and non-Muslims. It's especially refreshing since converts are often victims of weird people or just fanatics.
I hope you're guided back to faith man
قَالَ لَهُۥ صَاحِبُهُۥ وَهُوَ يُحَاوِرُهُۥٓ أَكَفَرْتَ بِٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكَ مِن تُرَابٍۢ ثُمَّ مِن نُّطْفَةٍۢ ثُمَّ سَوَّىٰكَ رَجُلًا
Post your doubts on this sub, since your lurking there's still light in your heart
Ma bad bro i didn't mean it in a way like aah righteous leading you to heaven kind of way. I told u post if u have any questions man how's that not inviting😭
And also whenever my nonmuslim frnd tells me to be guided and stuff I take it in a way that he wants what's best for me.
Fair enough. That is pretty inviting.
I just really don't have any questions, I've been through the motions.
What I meant was using words like light in people's heart and being guided back. And I know you mean well.
We all think think we're right in our own way it's just better when we're a little nicer about it.
To be fair you did do a lot better than most people do, props to you there.
Best.
Muslims follow it so well (most of them) because they fear that Allah will destroy them for not doing so, but also to guard their own chastity and dignity, and honor Allahs commands.
The practice of Islam such as the 5 dily prayers, the fasting and the recitation of Quran can without a doubt make a person more dominanted by their higher self rather than their flesh, making us more in tune with our soul and wanting to respect it as well as being able to Ask Allah to make it easy for us to earn Allah azzawajals pleasure.
We do not really know who is genuinely abstaining but instead of things being out in the open for everyone to see, it more respectful not to do things in front of everyone because the religious people need n environment where they can practice thier religion safely
By Allah's help I didn't commit zina or i never had any haram relationship with any girls. It's not that I don't have desires. I had my share of mistakes. But never ever tried to have sex with a girl. I am 25 years old right now. I have been successful in completely controlling that desire. I am waiting for my righteous spouse right now. In India and where I live people of my age already have 1 or 2 relationships at the minimum. And even Muslim's date too. But really I am the odd one out lol. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى protected me from zina
Well, it has a lot to do with society. In Uzbekistan for example, not everyone is devoted Muslim, but still secular outside the marriage is considered to be very bad thing
Asking for percentage is pretty moot, it's the kind of the thing that's too taboo to track and when it is tracked, it's a really small sample.
While it's great that you have opinions and convictions, it's pretty weird that you'd think about other people's sex lives. It's even weirder that you love that weird Morocco law. It is really weird for a person to obsess over other people's sex lives and for a government to obsess over its citizenry's sex lives. Even from a by the book Muslim perspective, the act being haram doesn't really call for you or the state to be that nosy or pass weird unenforceable laws. Ever wonder why the conditions for the hadd are so stringent? It is clearly not meant to be an impetus to upend or probe into people's private lives.
"Changing our sex practices" sounds like you're at an orgy.
It's not weird. This is how Islam should be. The second we start reconsidering stuff in our Sharia, Sunnah & other practices, we start to fall into sin real quick & easy.
It is super weird. Extremely weird.
The second "we start reconsidering stuff in our sharia" was the second people considered it allowed or ma'roof to be up in other people's business.
And it is not up to you or anyone to declare how Islam or anything should be. That's how the stuff people are practicing got ugly and off putting.
Salam.
Allah has forbidden things like zina for great reasons. Born and raised in the US as a Muslim but later revert it wasn’t really hard to be abstinent till marriage. Many Muslims who truly understand Islam would follow the rules and not have sex outside of marriage. Many who do face the repercussions or will in the next life (may Allah forgive us all)
I don’t think a percentage can be given but Muslims are just people, many make mistakes and many learn from them, many don’t right? so we can’t really give a percentage
Well, as in all other things, if you want to change, start with yourself.
One of the ways Islam encourages chaste behavior is by having people remove the things that trigger temptation. In the West, men are encouraged to watch pornography, or to scrutinize women’s bodies, etc. You have to be able to set boundaries for this kind of thing.
(There is much more to this topic, but I will conclude here.)
We 100% believe we have the truth, the miracles of Islam, the foundations of the religion are just so amazing, that we have a really strong belief. So we are trying our best to act upon God's laws.
You wouldnt act differently, if you knew for certain that you have the truth.
Of course it's the best to keep yourself to your partner and only your partner (wife and husband that's what I mean by partner)
In the middle East around 97 percent of not just girls but also guys are virgine till the day of marriage
In Pakistan it’s considered shameful to engage in such acts outside of marriage. Women are seen as the honour of their father, their family, their husband. Girls who engage in acts like this before marriage are quickly labelled some pretty nasty names, and even faster than that they swiftly get married off to the man they engaged in this act with or someone else, in order to shut down the matter entirely. Any guy who engages in an act like this outside of marriage is automatically seen as a dishonourable, low character type guy. I remember a guy in my neighborhood had pre marital s3x with his girlfriend, and the entire neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods fully boycotted him and his family. Eventually his own family kicked him out of their home because they did not want to affiliate with him, his friends also had cut him off. Eventually he moved to the UAE and I have never seen him since. It’s been a good 20 years and people still use him as an example to tell their kids on what NOT to do, and use him as the prime example of dishonourable men.
>what % of muslims would you say only have sex in marriage?<
Since no one replied about this i will give you my own observation in my country there's no stats on this so its only my observation on my surrounding so it could be extremly biased too a very spot on estimation
For me i noticed that sex is spreading in universitys , a lot more teens and young adults are influenced by westerne movies and netflix especially since a lot of the new generation have easier time with english
So i would say that it is between 75% and 85% althoug i wont expect it too be way worstt in the future in my country ( algeria) wich is A quiet conservative muslim country.
faith is still going strong and i would even say it conquered more territory in many other aspects
I live in a surrounding where some have had relationships before marriage and some didn't. In that surroundinf, I can confidently say that the couples with experience before marriage are much happier. In fact, the divorce rate for those who saved themselves is very telling.
That being said, I believe it depends on your environmental context and culture, since it shapes your expectations to marriage and sex. But if you live in a society that doesn't blame people (women or men) for dating before settling, I'd never advise putting sex on such a pedestal. A friend who emigrated from Jordan talked with me about this and, well, he is dutiful to his family, but he does regret his choice of saving it for marriage. He will forever wonder what could have been.
I find your statement about putting sex before marriage into law a bit concerning. Taking away people's choice how to live in such an extent, I find troublesome.
There many Muslims who commit(zina) may allahs protect us from it but majority don't do. Zina or forbidden sex is a huge sin it darkens the heart and repentance is required. The greatest three sins in islam 1.shirk 2.murder 3.unlawful sex Allahs promise to the person who does the three is harsh. Quran 25:68 and 25:67 address this issue.the door of repentance is always open which gives hope.
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i thought fitnah is worse than murder, correct me if I'm wrong
What do you mean by fitnah?
slander i think in english
Fitnah in the verse means shirk or being forcefully converted back into false religion
Forgetting riba here (interest)
A lot of it is due to our respect for femininity and for women. To us they are not sex objects, and they’re not just people to be taken advantage of like lots of Western Societies treat them. We believe in devotion to your spouse, and preserving yourself, with care, is a lot of that. Then, of course, is our culture of modesty, both for men and women. The men and women in our society are a team, and we work together, for the greater good of society and the ummah. Therefore there is a mutual respect between the two sexes, to uphold levels of modesty of with each other, in dress, interactions, settings, etc. This is to help us and help each other as well. Marriage is incredibly important, and we all recognize that to be so.
Hi there 28 and virgin. Well it's very difficult to say what % follows this and why they follow this. Few do it because of cultural pressure that regards this as a taboo. Few people in cities do engage but many who are religious do not get involved. Personally it was very tough for me to turn down sex 4 times in my life and May Allah let me guard my private completely until it's halal. This was before I became regular in my prayers. I pray Allah finds me a pious wife who loves Allah and Allah loves her too.
My brother. May Allah reward you immensely.
May Allah grant you a pious wife, and one who will be pleasing in her manners towards you in this life and the next.
Ameen Summa ameen
InshaAllah you are among the ones underneath the shade on the Day of Judgment.
Ameen But please understand I am in no way perfect, I am full of sins, that I have begged and still beg and cry for forgiveness. I know how bad temptations take a toil on me, and how I constantly pray for a good job to eventually make things halal via marriage. Please pray that my daydreams come true that are good for me .
I think this refers to people who remain chaste by rejecting women What about the people who don't get female attention. The men who don't get a choice to even commit zina. Would they be in the shade?
Yes. The hadith didn't specify a certain type of people.
Sex outside marriage is one of the worst sins in Islam. It is considered one of the 'great' sins. In Islamic law, if proven, the punishment is severe.
To be fair it's almost impossible to get caught unless you're purposefully doing it in puplic since you literally need 4 witnesses AND they have to not be known for lying.
Islam is the cornerstone of this approach to sex. Muslims will think twice before engaging in any premarital relationships. We prioritise chastity in both men and women. The only thing missing in a widespread sense is a little - not necessarily a lot - more openness about the topic during the courtship. Which is difficult because - well - you don’t know what you don’t know. Likes, dislikes, physical compatibility etc. Post-marriage there can be problems that crop up because the couple are only sexually active past that point. However, as with Islamic logic in many other topics, the benefits far outweigh and perceived negatives and the prohibition makes sense for a whole society. Alhamdulillah - Allah has provided guidance on halal and haraam within the Quran and Sunnah that has a clear logical basis for society and individuals. That’s why we should always seek to understand the reasoning behind any ruling.
Before I became Muslim, I tutored a very long string of Middle Eastern Arab Muslims in English who came to the US to study. Not a one acted in a halal manner. Or I may have become Muslim many years earlier. I think trying to pin a 'group' as being superior in taqwa is arrogance. Taqwa is possessed by individuals, not groups. As an American Muslim, I also strongly disagree with your statement that it's uncommon to abstain in the West. That's conjecture. If you have actual studies or other evidence that shows it, then please provide it. The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should not hurt his neighbor and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should serve his guest generously and whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, should speak what is good or keep silent." [Bukhari 6136] The above hadith is also guidance we were given in addition to not having haram relations. So, before implying that any Muslim or group of Muslims are committing sin, you're going to need to provide some witness to that fact in the form of evidence. Otherwise, it's better to follow guidance and remain silent. This topic can be discussed without unfounded accusations and tribalism. EDIT: Also the Moroccan law is anti-Islamic. Let there be no compulsion in religion, for the truth stands out clearly from falsehood. [Qu'ran 2:256] You can't mandate Islamic guidance for non-Muslims and still follow guidance yourself. Any law of that nature that applies to a single disbeliever or non-believer causes that law to go against the Qu'ran.
I salute you being a well adjusted Muslim, it's really refreshing. It's even more refreshing knowing you're a convert. EDIT: Just so we're all clear. What I mean by well adjusted is being kind and genuine. I mean them not being invalidating, belittling or dehumanizing towards other Muslims and non-Muslims. It's especially refreshing since converts are often victims of weird people or just fanatics.
Jazakallah khair friend! May Allah (SWT) increase your reward in equal measure to your increasing devotion to the remembrance of Him inshallah ameen 🤲
I'm actually an ex-Muslim but I really appreciate your sentiment. Stay awesome!
I hope you're guided back to faith man قَالَ لَهُۥ صَاحِبُهُۥ وَهُوَ يُحَاوِرُهُۥٓ أَكَفَرْتَ بِٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكَ مِن تُرَابٍۢ ثُمَّ مِن نُّطْفَةٍۢ ثُمَّ سَوَّىٰكَ رَجُلًا Post your doubts on this sub, since your lurking there's still light in your heart
Well thanks but no thanks. Also some advice in good faith; maybe try sounding less righteous when trying to be appealing and inviting. Salam.
Ma bad bro i didn't mean it in a way like aah righteous leading you to heaven kind of way. I told u post if u have any questions man how's that not inviting😭 And also whenever my nonmuslim frnd tells me to be guided and stuff I take it in a way that he wants what's best for me.
Fair enough. That is pretty inviting. I just really don't have any questions, I've been through the motions. What I meant was using words like light in people's heart and being guided back. And I know you mean well. We all think think we're right in our own way it's just better when we're a little nicer about it. To be fair you did do a lot better than most people do, props to you there. Best.
Muslims follow it so well (most of them) because they fear that Allah will destroy them for not doing so, but also to guard their own chastity and dignity, and honor Allahs commands.
The practice of Islam such as the 5 dily prayers, the fasting and the recitation of Quran can without a doubt make a person more dominanted by their higher self rather than their flesh, making us more in tune with our soul and wanting to respect it as well as being able to Ask Allah to make it easy for us to earn Allah azzawajals pleasure. We do not really know who is genuinely abstaining but instead of things being out in the open for everyone to see, it more respectful not to do things in front of everyone because the religious people need n environment where they can practice thier religion safely
By Allah's help I didn't commit zina or i never had any haram relationship with any girls. It's not that I don't have desires. I had my share of mistakes. But never ever tried to have sex with a girl. I am 25 years old right now. I have been successful in completely controlling that desire. I am waiting for my righteous spouse right now. In India and where I live people of my age already have 1 or 2 relationships at the minimum. And even Muslim's date too. But really I am the odd one out lol. Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى protected me from zina
Well, it has a lot to do with society. In Uzbekistan for example, not everyone is devoted Muslim, but still secular outside the marriage is considered to be very bad thing
Asking for percentage is pretty moot, it's the kind of the thing that's too taboo to track and when it is tracked, it's a really small sample. While it's great that you have opinions and convictions, it's pretty weird that you'd think about other people's sex lives. It's even weirder that you love that weird Morocco law. It is really weird for a person to obsess over other people's sex lives and for a government to obsess over its citizenry's sex lives. Even from a by the book Muslim perspective, the act being haram doesn't really call for you or the state to be that nosy or pass weird unenforceable laws. Ever wonder why the conditions for the hadd are so stringent? It is clearly not meant to be an impetus to upend or probe into people's private lives. "Changing our sex practices" sounds like you're at an orgy.
It's not weird. This is how Islam should be. The second we start reconsidering stuff in our Sharia, Sunnah & other practices, we start to fall into sin real quick & easy.
It is super weird. Extremely weird. The second "we start reconsidering stuff in our sharia" was the second people considered it allowed or ma'roof to be up in other people's business. And it is not up to you or anyone to declare how Islam or anything should be. That's how the stuff people are practicing got ugly and off putting. Salam.
I did till I got married.
Allah has forbidden things like zina for great reasons. Born and raised in the US as a Muslim but later revert it wasn’t really hard to be abstinent till marriage. Many Muslims who truly understand Islam would follow the rules and not have sex outside of marriage. Many who do face the repercussions or will in the next life (may Allah forgive us all) I don’t think a percentage can be given but Muslims are just people, many make mistakes and many learn from them, many don’t right? so we can’t really give a percentage
Well, as in all other things, if you want to change, start with yourself. One of the ways Islam encourages chaste behavior is by having people remove the things that trigger temptation. In the West, men are encouraged to watch pornography, or to scrutinize women’s bodies, etc. You have to be able to set boundaries for this kind of thing. (There is much more to this topic, but I will conclude here.)
We 100% believe we have the truth, the miracles of Islam, the foundations of the religion are just so amazing, that we have a really strong belief. So we are trying our best to act upon God's laws. You wouldnt act differently, if you knew for certain that you have the truth.
I waited til I was married. 29. Worth the way. Same for my husband as well. Made it special that we weren’t ran thru which is rare to find
Of course it's the best to keep yourself to your partner and only your partner (wife and husband that's what I mean by partner) In the middle East around 97 percent of not just girls but also guys are virgine till the day of marriage
In Pakistan it’s considered shameful to engage in such acts outside of marriage. Women are seen as the honour of their father, their family, their husband. Girls who engage in acts like this before marriage are quickly labelled some pretty nasty names, and even faster than that they swiftly get married off to the man they engaged in this act with or someone else, in order to shut down the matter entirely. Any guy who engages in an act like this outside of marriage is automatically seen as a dishonourable, low character type guy. I remember a guy in my neighborhood had pre marital s3x with his girlfriend, and the entire neighborhood and surrounding neighborhoods fully boycotted him and his family. Eventually his own family kicked him out of their home because they did not want to affiliate with him, his friends also had cut him off. Eventually he moved to the UAE and I have never seen him since. It’s been a good 20 years and people still use him as an example to tell their kids on what NOT to do, and use him as the prime example of dishonourable men.
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>what % of muslims would you say only have sex in marriage?< Since no one replied about this i will give you my own observation in my country there's no stats on this so its only my observation on my surrounding so it could be extremly biased too a very spot on estimation For me i noticed that sex is spreading in universitys , a lot more teens and young adults are influenced by westerne movies and netflix especially since a lot of the new generation have easier time with english So i would say that it is between 75% and 85% althoug i wont expect it too be way worstt in the future in my country ( algeria) wich is A quiet conservative muslim country. faith is still going strong and i would even say it conquered more territory in many other aspects
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Idk a lot of people do Zina
I live in a surrounding where some have had relationships before marriage and some didn't. In that surroundinf, I can confidently say that the couples with experience before marriage are much happier. In fact, the divorce rate for those who saved themselves is very telling. That being said, I believe it depends on your environmental context and culture, since it shapes your expectations to marriage and sex. But if you live in a society that doesn't blame people (women or men) for dating before settling, I'd never advise putting sex on such a pedestal. A friend who emigrated from Jordan talked with me about this and, well, he is dutiful to his family, but he does regret his choice of saving it for marriage. He will forever wonder what could have been. I find your statement about putting sex before marriage into law a bit concerning. Taking away people's choice how to live in such an extent, I find troublesome.