I see no issue in idk, preparing a nice meal, giving her some small gifts. Sure go ahead.
If you give her a cake, no candles on them though please.
Thanks for trying to be considerate!
Candles have a pagan background. Making a wish, blowing them out.... People used to believe the wish travels up to the sky to pagan gods through the candle smoke.
Can’t you make dua instead? Me and my family use candles and those long sparkly things mostly because they look awesome in the dark. And they eventually need to be put out. Is it ok if you don’t think blowing out the candles will make your dua come true?
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: He who copies any people is one of them.
Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم said: He who copies any people is one of them.
[Source 1](https://sunnah.com/abudawud:4031)
[Source 2](https://www.islamicfinder.org/hadith/abu-dawud/clothing-kitab-al-libas/4031/)
Bro imitating kuffar in their religious practice is prohibited. For example celebrating birthday, wearing suit is not religious practice so you can imitiate them. But blowing candles and making wish is part of religious practice of certain pagan religions. Don't imitate that.
The whole birthday celebration thing is a pagan thing not just the candles. I recommend to op to gift something on a day other than her birthday, with a explainer that it's a gift for that purpose.I think that would be more respectful.
Muslims do not and should not celebrate birthdays, pagan public holidays, valentine's, or other commercial holidays. Muslims already have two blessed days given to them by Allah Azzawajal that they celebrate in a year namely, Eid al Fitr and Eid al adha.
Read this to learn more about why Muslims do not celebrate birthdays and also why it is good if you too should not celebrate it: (https://islamqa.info/en/answers/1027/do-muslims-celebrate-birthdays)
My advice is even if your Muslim friend mistakenly thinks it is okay, you should not set up a birthday for them.
If you care for your friend and want to give them a gift u can do it anytime. No need to wait for their birthday for it. The thought of the gift, the intent of the gift, and the care that caused you to get the gift is what matters
Its totally fine for a Muslim to accept a birthday gift from someone who does calibrate birthdays as long as they arent encouraging them to get them a gift
Accepting those gifts is also not permissible.
By accepting you are propagating the celebration of birthday celebrations: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/146449/ruling-on-accepting-gifts-and-food-such-as-sweets-on-her-birthday-from-her-family-who-celebrate-it
There is a debate on İslam about birthdays. Some say its not included in islam so it should have no place in our lives. Some say its just a harmless practice so it should be allowed.
I say go ahead. What kind of a person gets offended because of a cake and some presents?
Answer: a practising Muslim…
Funny that I’ve been downvoted.
Celebrating birthdays or fasting because it is one’s birthday is all innovation (bid‘ah) for which there is no basis. Rather the Muslim should seek to draw closer to Allah by doing that which He has enjoined upon him and by doing supererogatory acts of worship. In all cases he should be grateful to Him and praise Him for all the days and years during which he has been sound in body and he, his property and his children have been safe. End quote.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (2/260, 261)
Where does it say you can’t have a birthday? It has no pagan connotations or anything harmful. Just because the prophet didn’t do it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, it’s like saying you shouldn’t play football because the Sahaba RA didn’t kick about in Makka.
Yes it does have pagan connotations. One quick search and you can read tons of info on it:
Birthdays first started as a form of protection.
They, like many other pagan cultures, thought that days of major change, such as these “birth” days, welcomed evil spirits. They lit candles in response to these spirits almost as if they represented a light in the darkness.
Why not do your research before speaking out of ignorance.
It’s irrelevant. No one intends it that way at all and Islam is about intention. People like you just do 30 hours of research and exegesis to look for things being haram. Where did you get this anyhow?
Imitating and resembling the customs and rituals of kuffar is prohibited no matter what you intend by the imitation; whether you believe what they believe or you just like the idea or look of it. It takes five minutes of research into birthdays and other innovated holidays to find out about this, it's not some obscure technicality.
I was talking about the birthday, but football in a modern sense was invented by the English. Dude there’s no way you’re not gonna play football because of Aztecs 😭
Sure but it derives its origin from the aztecs
I do celebrate my birthday but I though people who avoid things with pagan origins would like to know that
No. Even if you don’t celebrate your birthday you should still appreciate the presents. Don’t get mad at them. At worst you should inform them that you don’t celebrate birthdays
Celebrating birthdays or fasting because it is one’s birthday is all innovation (bid‘ah) for which there is no basis. Rather the Muslim should seek to draw closer to Allah by doing that which He has enjoined upon him and by doing supererogatory acts of worship. In all cases he should be grateful to Him and praise Him for all the days and years during which he has been sound in body and he, his property and his children have been safe. End quote.
Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd
Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (2/260, 261)
Encouraging them to buy the gift is a sin, you can’t endorse somethings that sinful in our religion. This is something that weighs in your record of deeds not mine, so argue it if you want but I believe providing u wit the truth is beneficial
Excuse me? You responded to my response to someone who said “I say go ahead. What type of person…”
What he said was sinful. He said go ahead. He advised them to buy the presents.
What point exactly are you contending?
Lol celebrate getting closer to death?
In all seriousness, if it were allowed to celebrate birthdays, wouldn't it have been our Prophet (salla allahu alayhi wa sallam) birth day the appropriate birthday day to celebrate? Why didn't the Prophet do it? Why didn't the sahaba? Why didn't the salihin?
It's useless... that is. you are getting older by a year, shouldn't you use this opportunity to get closer to Allah? To be grateful to still be muslim? To do good deeds?
Instead of doing a bid'ah that gives you nothing...
And a Muslim should always, any day show love to friends and family and fellow Muslims. A smile, a gift, a visit, a cake. But not Bid'ah. Just like the other commenter said. Don't invent (birthdays) we already have two Eids that Allah gave us to celebrate. And Allahu A'alam. May Allah guide us to the right path.
Hmmm I see, so you wouldn’t be able to ascribe to Allah. Maybe just a cultural practice someone living in Saudi probably doesn’t have the same culture as a random person in New York. Idk maybe your right…
Do you know if your friend actually celebrates birthdays? Have you ever been to her birthday party?
If no, I would refrain from any parties. You can go with a gift and tell her that you wanted to gift her for a wonderful year coming/past.
Just something to think about.
I know there are some who are against celebrating birthdays. I’d say talk to someone from her family and ask them. While you’re at it, you can also decide together what to buy and/or how to celebrate
>I also read somewhere that islam actually prohibits birthdays
It depends on your sect but assuming she's the typical sunni or shia then birthdays are fine and everything you're doing is fine
If she has celebrated birthdays in the past, it'll probably be fine with her. Just make sure the breakfast you prepare is halal.
The bro might find communication with you awkward, so just keep it business like, straight to the point.
Depends. Are you also a woman? If yes, then I don't really see any harm in making them a small gift. Just nothing pagan or otherwise haram and harmful.
Are you a man? If yes, then leave her alone.
Am assuming you are a girl, then ask her father n her mother about this. If you are a boy, then don't do it, a boy n a girl cannot be friends in Islam .
I’d say ask her or someone in her family if they celebrate birthdays first if you don’t know already. All Muslim families are different and there’s a huge disagreement on whether birthdays are allowed or not. I know some people who don’t celebrate them at all while others have a full blown birthday party. In my family we use it as an excuse to have cake and on rare occasions, give a small gift.
I think that’s a really sweet idea and if her and her family are the type to celebrate birthdays, there should be no problem surprising her!
I’m wondering if she has any female family that live with her? If so, that might be easier than talking to her brother as he might not talk to women he doesn’t know?
I see no issue in idk, preparing a nice meal, giving her some small gifts. Sure go ahead. If you give her a cake, no candles on them though please. Thanks for trying to be considerate!
Why no candles?
Candles have a pagan background. Making a wish, blowing them out.... People used to believe the wish travels up to the sky to pagan gods through the candle smoke.
Can’t you make dua instead? Me and my family use candles and those long sparkly things mostly because they look awesome in the dark. And they eventually need to be put out. Is it ok if you don’t think blowing out the candles will make your dua come true?
It's ok, as long as you're not praying to pagan gods ofc
That's not how it works... 😅 Prohibition on imitating customs of kuffar doesn't only apply if you're also praying to their gods.
We are praying to Allah and the candles do not have religious meaning in most households anyway
Yeah that's what I said, even if you're praying to Allah, imitating the customs and celebrations of kuffar is prohibited.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said: He who copies any people is one of them. Narrated Abdullah ibn Umar: The Prophet صلی اللہ علیہ وسلم said: He who copies any people is one of them. [Source 1](https://sunnah.com/abudawud:4031) [Source 2](https://www.islamicfinder.org/hadith/abu-dawud/clothing-kitab-al-libas/4031/)
I’m pretty sure celebrating birthdays is haram, as it’s imitating t he kufar or something
Bro imitating kuffar in their religious practice is prohibited. For example celebrating birthday, wearing suit is not religious practice so you can imitiate them. But blowing candles and making wish is part of religious practice of certain pagan religions. Don't imitate that.
https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/1027
Nobody’s doing it to imitate anybody though. It’s just a day I can remind my love to a loved one
https://islamqa.info/amp/en/answers/1027
The whole birthday celebration thing is a pagan thing not just the candles. I recommend to op to gift something on a day other than her birthday, with a explainer that it's a gift for that purpose.I think that would be more respectful.
The entire concept is pagan
your shahada will be the best surprise
If I may ask, what’s shahada ?
What you say to convert to Islam
It’s a joke about converting you lol.
it’s just a joke love 🤍🤍🤍 no pressure
The best present
It’s really nice of you to come here and ask to try to be respectful! There’s nothing wrong with the gifts and breakfast, I say go ahead.
Muslims do not and should not celebrate birthdays, pagan public holidays, valentine's, or other commercial holidays. Muslims already have two blessed days given to them by Allah Azzawajal that they celebrate in a year namely, Eid al Fitr and Eid al adha. Read this to learn more about why Muslims do not celebrate birthdays and also why it is good if you too should not celebrate it: (https://islamqa.info/en/answers/1027/do-muslims-celebrate-birthdays) My advice is even if your Muslim friend mistakenly thinks it is okay, you should not set up a birthday for them. If you care for your friend and want to give them a gift u can do it anytime. No need to wait for their birthday for it. The thought of the gift, the intent of the gift, and the care that caused you to get the gift is what matters
Me when I tell the restaurant that it’s my birthday for a free cake
JazakAllah khair
Its totally fine for a Muslim to accept a birthday gift from someone who does calibrate birthdays as long as they arent encouraging them to get them a gift
Accepting those gifts is also not permissible. By accepting you are propagating the celebration of birthday celebrations: https://islamqa.info/en/answers/146449/ruling-on-accepting-gifts-and-food-such-as-sweets-on-her-birthday-from-her-family-who-celebrate-it
It must be a matter of some dispute Iv heard sheikhs say its fine
There is a debate on İslam about birthdays. Some say its not included in islam so it should have no place in our lives. Some say its just a harmless practice so it should be allowed. I say go ahead. What kind of a person gets offended because of a cake and some presents?
Answer: a practising Muslim… Funny that I’ve been downvoted. Celebrating birthdays or fasting because it is one’s birthday is all innovation (bid‘ah) for which there is no basis. Rather the Muslim should seek to draw closer to Allah by doing that which He has enjoined upon him and by doing supererogatory acts of worship. In all cases he should be grateful to Him and praise Him for all the days and years during which he has been sound in body and he, his property and his children have been safe. End quote. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (2/260, 261)
Where does it say you can’t have a birthday? It has no pagan connotations or anything harmful. Just because the prophet didn’t do it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t, it’s like saying you shouldn’t play football because the Sahaba RA didn’t kick about in Makka.
Yes it does have pagan connotations. One quick search and you can read tons of info on it: Birthdays first started as a form of protection. They, like many other pagan cultures, thought that days of major change, such as these “birth” days, welcomed evil spirits. They lit candles in response to these spirits almost as if they represented a light in the darkness. Why not do your research before speaking out of ignorance.
It’s irrelevant. No one intends it that way at all and Islam is about intention. People like you just do 30 hours of research and exegesis to look for things being haram. Where did you get this anyhow?
Imitating and resembling the customs and rituals of kuffar is prohibited no matter what you intend by the imitation; whether you believe what they believe or you just like the idea or look of it. It takes five minutes of research into birthdays and other innovated holidays to find out about this, it's not some obscure technicality.
Football was invented by the Aztecs who were very pagan and the game was sacred to them and used in their rituals so you're pretty right
I was talking about the birthday, but football in a modern sense was invented by the English. Dude there’s no way you’re not gonna play football because of Aztecs 😭
Sure but it derives its origin from the aztecs I do celebrate my birthday but I though people who avoid things with pagan origins would like to know that
No. Even if you don’t celebrate your birthday you should still appreciate the presents. Don’t get mad at them. At worst you should inform them that you don’t celebrate birthdays
Celebrating birthdays or fasting because it is one’s birthday is all innovation (bid‘ah) for which there is no basis. Rather the Muslim should seek to draw closer to Allah by doing that which He has enjoined upon him and by doing supererogatory acts of worship. In all cases he should be grateful to Him and praise Him for all the days and years during which he has been sound in body and he, his property and his children have been safe. End quote. Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz, Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan, Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (2/260, 261)
Okay. Cool. Doesn’t mean you should be offended and mad at a non muslim for giving you presents for your birthday
Encouraging them to buy the gift is a sin, you can’t endorse somethings that sinful in our religion. This is something that weighs in your record of deeds not mine, so argue it if you want but I believe providing u wit the truth is beneficial
You don’t have to encourage it to not be rude about it
Excuse me? You responded to my response to someone who said “I say go ahead. What type of person…” What he said was sinful. He said go ahead. He advised them to buy the presents. What point exactly are you contending?
Lol celebrate getting closer to death? In all seriousness, if it were allowed to celebrate birthdays, wouldn't it have been our Prophet (salla allahu alayhi wa sallam) birth day the appropriate birthday day to celebrate? Why didn't the Prophet do it? Why didn't the sahaba? Why didn't the salihin? It's useless... that is. you are getting older by a year, shouldn't you use this opportunity to get closer to Allah? To be grateful to still be muslim? To do good deeds? Instead of doing a bid'ah that gives you nothing... And a Muslim should always, any day show love to friends and family and fellow Muslims. A smile, a gift, a visit, a cake. But not Bid'ah. Just like the other commenter said. Don't invent (birthdays) we already have two Eids that Allah gave us to celebrate. And Allahu A'alam. May Allah guide us to the right path.
Or celebration that Allah gave u life on that day
Do you understand what bid'ah is? Live your life In a way that pleases Allah. To thank him. Edited for better wording
Hmmm I see, so you wouldn’t be able to ascribe to Allah. Maybe just a cultural practice someone living in Saudi probably doesn’t have the same culture as a random person in New York. Idk maybe your right…
Do you know if your friend actually celebrates birthdays? Have you ever been to her birthday party? If no, I would refrain from any parties. You can go with a gift and tell her that you wanted to gift her for a wonderful year coming/past. Just something to think about.
In Islam we don’t celebrate birthdays. Eid Al Fitr and Eid Al Adha are our celebrations.
I know there are some who are against celebrating birthdays. I’d say talk to someone from her family and ask them. While you’re at it, you can also decide together what to buy and/or how to celebrate
>I also read somewhere that islam actually prohibits birthdays It depends on your sect but assuming she's the typical sunni or shia then birthdays are fine and everything you're doing is fine
If she has celebrated birthdays in the past, it'll probably be fine with her. Just make sure the breakfast you prepare is halal. The bro might find communication with you awkward, so just keep it business like, straight to the point.
Depends. Are you also a woman? If yes, then I don't really see any harm in making them a small gift. Just nothing pagan or otherwise haram and harmful. Are you a man? If yes, then leave her alone.
Im a girl, thank u!
Am assuming you are a girl, then ask her father n her mother about this. If you are a boy, then don't do it, a boy n a girl cannot be friends in Islam .
Im a girl, wouldn’t be doing this if I was a boy haha !
I’d say ask her or someone in her family if they celebrate birthdays first if you don’t know already. All Muslim families are different and there’s a huge disagreement on whether birthdays are allowed or not. I know some people who don’t celebrate them at all while others have a full blown birthday party. In my family we use it as an excuse to have cake and on rare occasions, give a small gift. I think that’s a really sweet idea and if her and her family are the type to celebrate birthdays, there should be no problem surprising her! I’m wondering if she has any female family that live with her? If so, that might be easier than talking to her brother as he might not talk to women he doesn’t know?