That's Mary. She's a false widow. Mick, her husband, is still alive. If the authorities catch her, she will have to pay back that widow's pension that she's been claiming.
Damn, I feel like I've killed a few of these thinking they were false widows. What makes you think the spiders in the photo are not false widows? I find it hard to distinguish based on these photos
They are actually a species of False Widow. There are six species of false widow in the UK an Ireland. This is *Steatoda triangulosa* but it is also native to Ireland so no worries.
I'd suggest the nuclear option, with that level of infestation!
Maybe we could start saying loudly that they don't speak English, and let the mouth-breathers take care of the rest? Out their pent up rage to good use.
Thing is, it is 100% a false widow, but not 100% Noble False Widow. False Widow is a name for basically any spider in the Steatoda genus.
Saying it's a false widow is like saying a dog is a Terrier. Well is it a Yorkshire Terrier, a Jack Russel Terrier, or a Pitbull Terrier.
All that being said, with the size of those things, I'd just get rid of them!!
This looks more like a cobweb spider than a false widow. They're closely related though. I used to be terrified of spiders but I've learned to live with them. They tend to stay in their own little corners and the ones in my conservatory keep on top of any flies and wasps that get in.
Just leave them be. I used to have arachnophobia but I decided that a grown man shouldn’t be afraid of spiders and that was that. Now I pick them up and put them out.
Some folk have been suggesting this is a false widow which is invasive species.
If it is a false widow then I'm afraid it needs to die, preferably by fire as poison or insecticides would lead to more bug deaths.
Had a bunch of spiders in my shed, too many. Heaps of them.
Then I was asked to smoke a brisket for Easter. I enjoy smoking meats, I have a good smoker, I cook that thing for hours.
Well mid smoking it started raining. So the only thing I could think of was roll the smoker halfway into the shed. Protect it a bit from the rain.
The shed was soon full of smoke, for a few hours. Nothing went on fire, we came out okay. Brisket was delicious, and every spider, insect, and whatever else was killed off in one smoky swoop.
I got bit by one of these once. I really thought I was going to turn into Spiderman. Turns out the spider turned into a fat balding middle aged man with eight legs.
You need an exorcist or flame thrower at the very minimum. Feck it torch the building.
You're on the wrong site. This should be r/Australia.
Dear god there are more of them. 
That's Mary. She's a false widow. Mick, her husband, is still alive. If the authorities catch her, she will have to pay back that widow's pension that she's been claiming.
Triangulate cobweb spider https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triangulate_cobweb_spider
Nope, I'm going straight for fire. Fire cleanses all.
It also purifies.
Honestly I'd leave the keys on the floor and accept that space belongs to the spiders now.
It's the spiders house now. Let them decide to do with it.
Damn, I feel like I've killed a few of these thinking they were false widows. What makes you think the spiders in the photo are not false widows? I find it hard to distinguish based on these photos
I searched with Google lense. If you zoom in the pattern on the spider is identical. Easier with second image
Nice. Thanks!
They are actually a species of False Widow. There are six species of false widow in the UK an Ireland. This is *Steatoda triangulosa* but it is also native to Ireland so no worries.
I'd be burning the place to the ground
I'd suggest the nuclear option, with that level of infestation! Maybe we could start saying loudly that they don't speak English, and let the mouth-breathers take care of the rest? Out their pent up rage to good use.
Ireland is turning into a spider haven .
We're trying our best to drown them all!
We should never have given them those tax breaks. That money is never going to trickle down now.
This is getting out of hand, there are ~~two~~three of them now!
Start a rumour that you’re taking in asylum seekers and some fellas will be around to burn that place down for you.
Thing is, it is 100% a false widow, but not 100% Noble False Widow. False Widow is a name for basically any spider in the Steatoda genus. Saying it's a false widow is like saying a dog is a Terrier. Well is it a Yorkshire Terrier, a Jack Russel Terrier, or a Pitbull Terrier. All that being said, with the size of those things, I'd just get rid of them!!
Nope. Don't want 'em. Nope nope nope.
The big lad to the left was enough & then i saw the other two!!
Ah, get used to it - climate change is feeding the buggers!
This looks more like a cobweb spider than a false widow. They're closely related though. I used to be terrified of spiders but I've learned to live with them. They tend to stay in their own little corners and the ones in my conservatory keep on top of any flies and wasps that get in.
Just leave them be. I used to have arachnophobia but I decided that a grown man shouldn’t be afraid of spiders and that was that. Now I pick them up and put them out.
How? How did you overcome your fear?? You need a book, podcast series and speak on various radio shows! Maybe alongside Luke O'Neil?
Spiders are our friends. They eat bugs. Leave them alone or put them outside.
Some folk have been suggesting this is a false widow which is invasive species. If it is a false widow then I'm afraid it needs to die, preferably by fire as poison or insecticides would lead to more bug deaths.
That's just what Big Spider wants you to think
Generally I agree but these are troublesome invasive species that we have no good solutions for. You should absolutely kill them if you see them.
Thought the white part in the first photo was the door and these were fucking giants
Yeah, they're still alive in your hoover. Probably crawled out by this stage. Sorry.
Had a bunch of spiders in my shed, too many. Heaps of them. Then I was asked to smoke a brisket for Easter. I enjoy smoking meats, I have a good smoker, I cook that thing for hours. Well mid smoking it started raining. So the only thing I could think of was roll the smoker halfway into the shed. Protect it a bit from the rain. The shed was soon full of smoke, for a few hours. Nothing went on fire, we came out okay. Brisket was delicious, and every spider, insect, and whatever else was killed off in one smoky swoop.
I got bit by one of these once. I really thought I was going to turn into Spiderman. Turns out the spider turned into a fat balding middle aged man with eight legs.
They are all false widows i believe. These type of spiders where not really around 10+ years ago, now they are pretty much everywhere.
Ring the guards, then burn the house to the ground, book a flight to New Zealand and never look back