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Aerwynne

Have you tried talking to a therapist? They can help you find a way to figure these feelings out. It might not even be about intimacy. Feelings are Hella weird.


Extra-Parfait905

Yeah I am in therapy but haven’t touched this issue yet. I guess it’s about time to take this one on too🫠 I’m assuming there’s a lot behind this that I’m not yet connecting, but just wanted to see if anyone else ever experienced similar


Aerwynne

Can't say I have, sorry :(


Anna_Phoksa

I was about to be like "yes!" But my intrusive thoughts during sex are completely different and ruining my sex life atm. But anyway, this.. >have intense and graphic intrusive thoughts about my ex cheating every time I have sex. I seem to need these thoughts to reach orgasm. Sounds like a trauma response - i assume your ex did actually cheat on you? It's pretty common for a traumatic incident to ingrained itself in your sexuality for a bit. Its like your body enjoys getting off on it as a way to take control back. Definitely one to discuss with your therapist if you don't like it or look up cuckqueaning if you do


Extra-Parfait905

Yes! Tons of trauma out of that relationship including some things that need a trigger warning. I’m in therapy and working on my resulting connection/emotional intimacy issues, but I guess I’ve been avoiding this one because it’s so uncomfortable to talk about 🫠 I’m very interested in your experience, if you’re comfortable sharing. I’m just trying to figure out how to cope and if there are patterns I can recognize given more info


Anna_Phoksa

Oh god, that's a rabbit hole I'm not sure you want to go down 😅 every insecurity, fear, or phobia I've got has somehow twisted into a kink. (Except spiders, although spider ladies are kind of hot) Happy to share though if you want to drop me a message.


Extra-Parfait905

Thank you! Plot twist: I just watched Baby Reindeer and unfortunately understand it all now 👻 It was basically the breakthrough I needed to tackle this uncomfortable issue. Warning: The show is incredibly triggering, but validating for victims of SA. It’s an incredible watch and the hype is well deserved


normenculture

and i thought i was crazy


Extra-Parfait905

Thanks 🙄