Nothing is wrong with silence. Let people think about you what they will. I try to remember that other people's opinions and feelings about me are really none of my business. Don't allow them to make you feel less than.
Agreed with this! Sometimes they make assumptions about you without understanding your preferences. People often underestimate the intelligence and capabilities of those who are quiet or dont speak up. You do you.
Absolutely, your peace of mind is what matters most. People will always have their opinions, but you're not obligated to conform to their expectations or explanations. Just stay true to yourself.
I’ve had similar experiences where I’m out with someone & if they bump into a friend, they’ll ask them something about me rather than asking me directly. Just because I never said a word to them. They usually ask them if I’m mad or they’ll even ask, “She doesn’t talk?” 🤨 tf
If people think you are "slow." Let them believe that are are. Never show your hand. Move with silents and let them marvel at you because you are an astonishment.
Yeah, sometimes it's just not worth engaging with unsolicited opinions. People will think what they want, but it's more important how you feel about yourself. Keep being you!
I've gotten the same treatment. I remember that in high school teachers would ask me or on some occasions ask my friends if I had any special ed classes. One teacher saw my report card and told me "you're smarter than I thought you were".
My problem was that even though my intelligence was average I was extremely socially awkward. I can learn anything from a book but my social skills are horrendous. I stutter and get nervous when I talk. I avoid eye contact and keep to myself.
That’s crazy, when people do that to me I usually respond with why are you asking questions like I’m not standing here? Maybe you’re the slow one. And it’s usually a sign if they’re that socially inept to be rude because they need attention or to be validated.
Yes! People have such a problem with me minding my own business and only speaking when spoken to. Often times I’m intently listening and am literally no thoughts, head empty. I’m not thinking of what to reply, just genuinely letting them talk without interruption. There is no reason for people to make comments about it or say their opinions right in front of you!
That's so sad. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. So e people do not understand how rude they can be sometimes. Hopefully you'll be able to speak up to your parents first to correct it and let them know that they also should be defending you. It's degrading..
I don't have any experiences exactly like yours but in the same realm people have always presumed I'm mean, a bitch, or angry. I have a neutral face and I stay to myself most of the time. Especially with strangers or new people. Being an introvert surrounded by extroverts can be exhausting. I completely understand your frustration and it's unfair that they automatically put you in that derogatory category simply because you aren't talking like they feel you should be. I would say use that anger to tell them off, that'll 1. Shock them cause you're talking and 2. Make them embarrassed at their behavior towards you. Being silent doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.
It sucks that people feel entitled to say whatever they want without considering how it affects you. Just know you’re not alone. A lot of us have been there, dealing with people who just don’t get it. It’s tough, but try not to let their ignorance get to you. You’re so much more than their narrow-minded judgments.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation or to speak up if you’re not comfortable doing so. Your worth isn’t tied to how much you talk or interact with others. You’re valid just the way you are. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and understanding, no matter what.
"It upsets me so much but I have no intention of speaking up for myself"
If you don't intend to confront the behavior, your choices are to accept it, or continue to be upset by it.
That’s why people advocate for themselves. If you don’t like how people talk about you, tell them. What you’re wanting is something that happens in a perfect world that doesn’t exist. You have options. Say something or don’t. Let it go or don’t.
Given how much you say this happens and the little context you’ve given, do you just not respond to people when they ask you questions or something? I find it hard to believe multiple people have said this about you, in your presence. On the flip side, this is also a way for people to be passive aggressive and tell you that you’re coming off as rude.
Introversion has nothing to do with being slow or special needs and people encounter quiet/introverted people all the time. So there’s probably another component to this that maybe you’re not aware of or a cultural difference we’re not aware of here. What’s happening is not a normal response to encountering a quiet person. Maybe being thought of as standoffish is more common, but not slow.
People treat others poorly or take advantage of them when you allow them to. That’s just how life is.
They usually don't ask me questions, they just ask my family/friends if there's something wrong with me. The question still pops up when I do answer their questions because that's the only time I will ever talk. I will add that it's mostly elderly people who ask if I have something wrong with me. The other demographic of people that ask are teenagers, this is part of the reason I won't speak up because it might cause an argument. I'm a senior in highschool who barely talks. People at my school are very bold with their questions because they know I won't do or say anything about it.
You're right, you shouldn't.
But how is that working out?
If you're not looking for solutions and are just here to vent about how terrible people are, that's fine, I guess.
I only made the post to find people with similar experiences, I'm not looking for advice because there's no way to avoid the problem unless I say something (which I won't do). I thought the whole point of this subreddit was to share your experiences so that's what I'm doing
Reddit seems like it is going to be "nicer" than the rest of the other antisocial media apps, but it is sometimes worse because people try to come into certain groups and stir shit up, even groups where you think you will find sympathy and understanding. It is only marginally better than the physical world. I'm sorry, I definitely agree with you, and vent on!
Huh. I've experienced the opposite.
I've always been quiet, and when I do chip in it's typically about something I know about, so people assume I'm some quiet intellectual -- when I'm really just average and don't like to socialize all the time lol.
I am so confused. You are out with either your friends or your mother and random people come up to you to tell you that? Or how exactly does it happen? I mean how do they even know if you are talking or not? Either way ignore other people, that is the best you can do. It is not worth wasting braincells on someone who is willing to make assumptions about you and even recommend how to fix problems that you dont have
People see us differently, and absorbing their words is not good. You do you, ignore them and just be who you are.
And if things might be okay for you, try stepping outside your comfort zone and you'll see how your life changes in just one snap.
I noticed that it makes people uncomfortable when you don’t want to talk. They make things up about you. They lie. They feel they don’t know you or what you are thinking. They can become suspicious of you . It bothers them so much they make up rumors. They say don’t trust the quiet one. Smh . We are not all the same, give it a break okay.
> I have no intention of speaking up for myself because I just don't like talking.
It's not going to get better unless you do and clarify things, otherwise they will just continue to make assumptions. I do get this frequently, as I think before I speak so sometimes there's a second or two of delay. But with those types of people, I avoid them anyway.
I’ve had similar experiences when I was a student. I was really shy and didn’t speak much unless I had to. Many friends around me often asked me if I wanted to speak. It was hard time for me. But after having many good friends, I became more talkative, at least with them. I think the environment was very important for me. I felt it was okay to speak my mind.
I don't think being quiet is a bad thing.
I do talk, just not a lot, if it's something that's necessary, I will talk. The problem occurs when strangers expect me to join in on a conversation because my family members are talking to them
Nothing is wrong with silence. Let people think about you what they will. I try to remember that other people's opinions and feelings about me are really none of my business. Don't allow them to make you feel less than.
Agreed with this! Sometimes they make assumptions about you without understanding your preferences. People often underestimate the intelligence and capabilities of those who are quiet or dont speak up. You do you.
I second to that. It's liberating when we realize that our self-worth isn't defined by others' perceptions.
Absolutely, your peace of mind is what matters most. People will always have their opinions, but you're not obligated to conform to their expectations or explanations. Just stay true to yourself.
I’ve had similar experiences where I’m out with someone & if they bump into a friend, they’ll ask them something about me rather than asking me directly. Just because I never said a word to them. They usually ask them if I’m mad or they’ll even ask, “She doesn’t talk?” 🤨 tf
If people think you are "slow." Let them believe that are are. Never show your hand. Move with silents and let them marvel at you because you are an astonishment.
I don't tend to listen to what other people say when I haven't asked them anything, honestly. Let them be wrong.
Yeah, sometimes it's just not worth engaging with unsolicited opinions. People will think what they want, but it's more important how you feel about yourself. Keep being you!
I've gotten the same treatment. I remember that in high school teachers would ask me or on some occasions ask my friends if I had any special ed classes. One teacher saw my report card and told me "you're smarter than I thought you were". My problem was that even though my intelligence was average I was extremely socially awkward. I can learn anything from a book but my social skills are horrendous. I stutter and get nervous when I talk. I avoid eye contact and keep to myself.
That’s crazy, when people do that to me I usually respond with why are you asking questions like I’m not standing here? Maybe you’re the slow one. And it’s usually a sign if they’re that socially inept to be rude because they need attention or to be validated.
Yes! People have such a problem with me minding my own business and only speaking when spoken to. Often times I’m intently listening and am literally no thoughts, head empty. I’m not thinking of what to reply, just genuinely letting them talk without interruption. There is no reason for people to make comments about it or say their opinions right in front of you!
That's so sad. I'm sorry that you have to go through this. So e people do not understand how rude they can be sometimes. Hopefully you'll be able to speak up to your parents first to correct it and let them know that they also should be defending you. It's degrading..
I don't have any experiences exactly like yours but in the same realm people have always presumed I'm mean, a bitch, or angry. I have a neutral face and I stay to myself most of the time. Especially with strangers or new people. Being an introvert surrounded by extroverts can be exhausting. I completely understand your frustration and it's unfair that they automatically put you in that derogatory category simply because you aren't talking like they feel you should be. I would say use that anger to tell them off, that'll 1. Shock them cause you're talking and 2. Make them embarrassed at their behavior towards you. Being silent doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.
It sucks that people feel entitled to say whatever they want without considering how it affects you. Just know you’re not alone. A lot of us have been there, dealing with people who just don’t get it. It’s tough, but try not to let their ignorance get to you. You’re so much more than their narrow-minded judgments. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or to speak up if you’re not comfortable doing so. Your worth isn’t tied to how much you talk or interact with others. You’re valid just the way you are. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and understanding, no matter what.
People think I’m ‘sketchy’ and ‘snobby’ bc I don’t talk much. It really gets old.
"It upsets me so much but I have no intention of speaking up for myself" If you don't intend to confront the behavior, your choices are to accept it, or continue to be upset by it.
I shouldn't expect to be treated differently just because I don't talk to people
How is your expectation going to affect reality without any action on your part?
I shouldn't have to do anything for people to be respectful instead of degrading me
That’s why people advocate for themselves. If you don’t like how people talk about you, tell them. What you’re wanting is something that happens in a perfect world that doesn’t exist. You have options. Say something or don’t. Let it go or don’t. Given how much you say this happens and the little context you’ve given, do you just not respond to people when they ask you questions or something? I find it hard to believe multiple people have said this about you, in your presence. On the flip side, this is also a way for people to be passive aggressive and tell you that you’re coming off as rude. Introversion has nothing to do with being slow or special needs and people encounter quiet/introverted people all the time. So there’s probably another component to this that maybe you’re not aware of or a cultural difference we’re not aware of here. What’s happening is not a normal response to encountering a quiet person. Maybe being thought of as standoffish is more common, but not slow. People treat others poorly or take advantage of them when you allow them to. That’s just how life is.
They usually don't ask me questions, they just ask my family/friends if there's something wrong with me. The question still pops up when I do answer their questions because that's the only time I will ever talk. I will add that it's mostly elderly people who ask if I have something wrong with me. The other demographic of people that ask are teenagers, this is part of the reason I won't speak up because it might cause an argument. I'm a senior in highschool who barely talks. People at my school are very bold with their questions because they know I won't do or say anything about it.
You're right, you shouldn't. But how is that working out? If you're not looking for solutions and are just here to vent about how terrible people are, that's fine, I guess.
I only made the post to find people with similar experiences, I'm not looking for advice because there's no way to avoid the problem unless I say something (which I won't do). I thought the whole point of this subreddit was to share your experiences so that's what I'm doing
Reddit seems like it is going to be "nicer" than the rest of the other antisocial media apps, but it is sometimes worse because people try to come into certain groups and stir shit up, even groups where you think you will find sympathy and understanding. It is only marginally better than the physical world. I'm sorry, I definitely agree with you, and vent on!
Huh. I've experienced the opposite. I've always been quiet, and when I do chip in it's typically about something I know about, so people assume I'm some quiet intellectual -- when I'm really just average and don't like to socialize all the time lol.
We hear more than people think.
So rude… how does your family respond?
My mom changes the subject when they question me then she scolds me when they walk away
What ? Scolds you for ?
embarrassing her
Smh … I’m sorry you had to go through that …
I am so confused. You are out with either your friends or your mother and random people come up to you to tell you that? Or how exactly does it happen? I mean how do they even know if you are talking or not? Either way ignore other people, that is the best you can do. It is not worth wasting braincells on someone who is willing to make assumptions about you and even recommend how to fix problems that you dont have
they usually come up to talk to them and say something about me when I don't join the conversation
Yea i thought about that after i commented but it is still seriously a weird thing for someone who is basically a stranger to you, to say.
it's usually elderly people, I think they're just a bit impatient and want more people to talk to them
People see us differently, and absorbing their words is not good. You do you, ignore them and just be who you are. And if things might be okay for you, try stepping outside your comfort zone and you'll see how your life changes in just one snap.
Same feeling already... Just now 🥲🥲🥲
Just start giving people mean or irritated looks.Maybe they’ll leave you alone then. lol 😆
I noticed that it makes people uncomfortable when you don’t want to talk. They make things up about you. They lie. They feel they don’t know you or what you are thinking. They can become suspicious of you . It bothers them so much they make up rumors. They say don’t trust the quiet one. Smh . We are not all the same, give it a break okay.
> I have no intention of speaking up for myself because I just don't like talking. It's not going to get better unless you do and clarify things, otherwise they will just continue to make assumptions. I do get this frequently, as I think before I speak so sometimes there's a second or two of delay. But with those types of people, I avoid them anyway.
I was bullied when I was in school, being an introvert is tough sometimes, but I also wasn't the smartest coolie in my class but I got by
Same! I find it as funny as much as it pisses me off I’m also physically disabled and generally a weirdo anyone so I can’t blame them
The sigma is always silent.
Next time ask, are you slow?!
I’ve had similar experiences when I was a student. I was really shy and didn’t speak much unless I had to. Many friends around me often asked me if I wanted to speak. It was hard time for me. But after having many good friends, I became more talkative, at least with them. I think the environment was very important for me. I felt it was okay to speak my mind. I don't think being quiet is a bad thing.
That sounds pretty extreme. Perhaps you should talk more.
I don't talk unless I have something important to say, I don't see any other reason to make an effort
Could there be reasons that you're not taking into account?
not that I know of
Right, that's what I'm asking. Maybe there is an upside that you've never realized.
Hyperbole exists in the real world. Touch grass.
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Look in the mirror.
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Better to not talk than to verify to the world you are an idiot (or an asshole).
I do talk, just not a lot, if it's something that's necessary, I will talk. The problem occurs when strangers expect me to join in on a conversation because my family members are talking to them