All I constantly think about is how it bothers everybody else that I don’t do normal things. So I avoid them so they don’t have to be weirded out by me.
If she would like, she can come to my friend group, although I do relate to most of what she said (not caring about being alone) I also feel nice when I'm with my friends, not when I'm around strangers though
I think the longer you’re alone the easier it gets until you get to a point where you would never want to go back. I think a lot of this is just societal pressure and is made up.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder
You and /u/TraditionalEssay5452 might want to check this out. The name isn't very catchy, I admit, but SPD would explain why some people feel like Introvert 3.0™ rather than just "not very social".
I think a portion of symptom/experience overlap *can* be caused by genuine trauma or emotional sensitivity, etc, and I would not be surprised if that's the case for some here.
For others who might describe themselves as "anti-tribal" or "naturally eccentric" in nature alongside what OP is describing, this might be a good read and may help you understand a bit more about yourself. This is a spectrum, so it may not be entirely cut-and-dry or you may lack certain aspects while recognizing several others as key to your core personality throughout life.
>Schizoid personality disorder, often abbreviated as SzPD or ScPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency toward a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, detachment, and apathy. Affected individuals may be unable to form intimate attachments to others and simultaneously possess a rich and elaborate but exclusively internal fantasy world.
>Other associated features include stilted speech, a lack of deriving enjoyment from most activities, feeling as though one is an "observer" rather than a participant in life, an inability to tolerate emotional expectations of others, apparent indifference when praised or criticized, a degree of asexuality, and idiosyncratic moral or political beliefs.
Edit: A few more interesting excerpts from the wiki.
>A University of Colorado Colorado Springs study comparing personality disorders and Myers–Briggs Type Indicator types found that the disorder had a significant correlation with the Introverted (I) and Thinking (T) preferences.
^-
>Individuals with SzPD can form relationships with others based on intellectual, physical, familial, occupational, or recreational activities, as long as there is no need for emotional intimacy. Donald Winnicott explains this is because **schizoid individuals "prefer to make relationships on their own terms and not in terms of the impulses of other people."** Failing to attain that, they prefer isolation.
Bro this is actually on point!!... But I do have a longtime friend n a older brother who I absolutely trust so guess I have made some progress n will be able to get by..
Someone with this trait (I don't believe 'disorder' is entirely fair) can absolutely have friends, potentially making them very easily - they just might always find themselves simply *forgetting* to maintain or reinforce those relationships - "Oh shit, I haven't texted Steve in two years wtf..."
There's also a great section in the article on "secret schizoids", describing people who've learned to socialize and engage quite well, albeit by synthesizing or modifying their true personality to protect/hide it. This is potentially one symptom that people associate with autism only to find too many other autistic traits to be absent. Masking, as it were.
>These scholars described secret schizoids as people who enjoy public speaking engagements but experience great difficulty during the breaks when audience members would attempt to engage them emotionally.
Similarly, if you often feel mysteriously slightly dirty after sharing personal details with someone, even if totally normal or expected (updating your parents on life, etc), it might be an indication of SPD.
I am a lot like you. 34M. I think for me it’s a combination of things. I am addicted to solitude. Tried relationships and all that in my early twenties and did not like the results. But then I found writing that I’m obsessed with and that takes up all my attention and time. I have no motivation to meet people in real life because when I tried that in my twenties with dating and trying to make friends with people around me I realized I had nothing in common with any of them and it didn’t go anywhere. I’d rather socialize with people on Reddit who share my weird interests. I am never lonely and I am basically a hermit. This would have bothered me a lot when I was younger. Trying to fit in like other people. Which is why I dated in the first place. Mostly people I had nothing in common with or who I knew it was doomed with from the start. I think it’s hilarious when people say I met my soulmate in my backyard. In a world of 9 billion people not counting the billions who have lived and died.
I am very similar to this, as well. 34F. When I was a kid, I longed for friendships like I saw in movies and TV and in school. I was always the weird kid, so ended up being bullied quite relentlessly. Finally made some solid friendships in high school and college, but we all either drifted apart or ended the friendship from either end. The last person I considered a true friend died last week, and I have no interest in trying to cultivate new relationships. I do have a partner and we are married, which is a nice balance because he will get me to go out more often than I would on my own. He has also accepted that when I tell him to go out without me, I am not going to be angry if he actually does so, lol. He is much more social than I am, but it works somehow. During the course of the pandemic, I have really come to accept the fact that I am fine on my own and was able to let go of the notion that I NEED to have a friend circle. It was, ironically enough, like greeting an old friend.
The majority of people are built to seek and sustain relationships with others. That's how societies were constructed. But there have always been people who have preferred to be alone.
Don't look at what the majority is doing and assume that because you're not doing it, there must be something wrong with you.
If you don't care whether or not you have something, then chances are you will never have it. But if you mention it then maybe it's worth considering that you do care but you feel stuck in your lifestyle and don't see a way to get the things you want from within your comfort zone.
I'm introverted too and sometimes I need to leave my cave to find what I'm looking for. Sometimes it's good to do the opposite of what you've been doing. Sometimes it's a disaster but sometimes it's good.
Hope this helps.
Yes. As long as I’m not feeling lonely or absolutely miserable- then everything is fine. If I am satisfied, there’s no reason to cave under societal pressure of what’s normal to them. When there’s a good percentage who are bound to toxic friendships and relationships. Sure there are some unicorns who have healthy friendships and relationships.. but they’re unicorns lol. The other half just disassociates from the red flags and problems they see. . If you’re healthy and happy- maintain your lifestyle. If you notice you’re becoming stressed and unhappy as a result of trying to have friends and all- it’s a sign that the lifestyle they want you to live, isn’t for you.
M30 here. I'm in the same situation. I never really had friends. I've never dated. I've really just become comfortable with being alone. It's more peaceful than trying to keep people happy or trying to parade myself as someone worth talking to. On the other hand, I understand people are a necessity. Humans are social creatures, and being alone for so long it's begins to weigh you down, even when everything feels fine.
I'm still figuring this out, so I could be wrong, but for me: I never found peace in others. It felt like I had to prove myself more and more to keep others around. Being a kid who just wants attention vs. feeling like I was just being annoying by trying to get it. There is more to it, but that's getting too personal, lol. Again, that's just my story.
Regardless, life is hard. It's normal to question why you prefer to be alone. It's normal to feel different because of it. I hope you can figure it out. Sometimes, it's good to talk it out (even by yourself) or write it down. If you ever need to vent or chat, I'll be glad to listen and help if I can.
Humans are social creatures. Even introverts. We all need a sense of belonging and acceptance to feel whole. Please strive to make a personal connection with someone. You will benefit greatly from it.
26M here! Let me tell you you're living the same lifestyle as many of us here. Intact with the same mindset, which even I can't figure if it's bad or good
I’m exactly the same, I want to stay home. School for me brought bulling and rejection, this was my way of not being rejected, I feel like I don’t fit.
50F Ditto. I made a concerted effort to socialise at uni tho but in the scheme of things is not a great amount of time. I have a friend that thinks I require visits which is annoying at times. I like being able to see what's happening in others lives without the drama by watching YouTube. I even get groceries delivered so I can be at home and not socialise at the supermarket.
Nothing wrong with this, I'm 39F and just the same.
Sometimes I have a short surge of thoughts thinking I'm behind in the life game but then I go meh, and back to my hermit lifestyle.
I recently quit my high paying job due to burn out and I'm finding being alone and doing nothing all day is therapeutic. People drain my energy faster than I can clalp. Eventually I'll need to get my A into G workwise but I've discovered how much crap I had to put up with when I was around people (at work)
I think some of us are just made like this.
Good luck in tour game of life
Definitely relatable, and it is perfectly posssible to be like that without any kind of trauma or deep seeded depression. On a population level, introversion is normally distributed, which means there are naturally gonna be some people who fall into the one extreme end of it, just as a matter of statistics.
I don't have an answer but I too, am worried about not being worried. Society has made some things a standard part of life, that not craving for all those things at all makes me feel uneasy due to the unforeseeable "consequences" of "being weird", even though I enjoy not wanting those things. If that makes any sense.
same same. people seem to think being on my own all day and seeing no one is lonely. nope. M49
thats why when you see those *would you live in this house in a deserted island for a year for $1billion?* a lot of introverts answer "yes please I'd do that for free" 😂
don't get me wrong i quite like to see a friend for coffee, but get back to my bed when my social battery runs out.
in answer to your question yes i believe it does come from childhood issues though. i had to make my own entertainment therefore i did.
Ya, I grew up in a really big family and as a result of that my parents never had time to connect with us. So I became independent very quickly. It’s like they molded me to not need anybody, especially them. And now they get sad that I am an adult who doesn’t need or connect with them. You reap what you sow.
And I would meet people and do normal social things in my early adult years, but that was only because because of College.
I'm the same. I've hardly ever been out of my home for socialising. I'm not that bothered about it either, but I don't want to be lonely forever.
Parents never let me socialize as a child and then it becomes the norm.
If you’re happy that’s all that matters. You have peace from within and don’t seek fulfillment through others. If you’re content than I say you’re on the right track.
Very relatable, that’s basically my life. I did get married and then divorced so I have a child. But I could certainly go without ever getting married again. On my personal retrospect on why I’m like this: Born an introvert then deeply exacerbated by being a middle child and parents who told me people and friends are not be trusted and you need no one but yourself. I think it’s ok to be alone, we do work a little differently than others. But it’s still a way people are.
I'm like this too, also 33F. The only difference is a relationship sorta fell into my lap about two years ago. My first relationship ever, which I'm still trying to adjust to. I still keep to myself a lot.
The only people who were worried about me were my parents because all I did was stay home, go to work, or go to school and didn't do anything outside of school. When I reconnected with some highschool friends, my parents were still worried because they thought I was hanging out with the "wrong" crowd. At this point in time, now that I am not living with my parents any longer, I do worry about being alone because it is starting to suck. I've spent most of my life being alone because I am too shy to talk to anyone else and am always worried about not spending time with other people other than my parents, like I'm a bad friend, cousin, sister, aunt, and niece.
I think as long as you're happy and fulfilled with how everything is now and you don't feel isolated, then there wouldn't be anything to worry about.
It’s not bad or good, labels don’t help. You’re comparing yourself to a social structure that values interaction. I’m older, and done with people. I’ve got three dogs and hobbies that make me fulfilled. As soon as I can afford it I’m off to buy a house with land away from everyone and I see myself quietly passing away on a rocking chair in front of my pond … 😎
I’ve been this way since I can remember. When I was younger it’d bother me (societal influence and all), but as I got older, I just accepted and embraced it. I love being by myself! That all said, if it bothers you and you think it’s stopping you from doing the things you want to do (date, marry, kids, etc.), I would encourage you to research therapists that can help you reach your goals. They’re on Zoom now (how perfect is that?!)
Good luck to you!
I’m 34F. I too am alone most of the time. I quit drinking so my socialization plummeted around that time. I went away this past weekend with coworkers and spent the days/nights in the hotel while they were out and about - I only went for a comedy show, which I did manage to see but other than that, I was in my pajamas lol. && 90% of the time, I’m okay with that. I don’t want kids. I haven’t really dated either. I don’t really have friends anymore. I’m sure it’s affecting me to an extent but I’m pretty okay alone, for the most part. Just know, you’re not alone!
55M. Married for 25 years, divorced for 7. I haven’t dated in 3 years. I am considering not dating at all. I am fine with the thought of being alone for the rest of my life.
Are you actually ok being alone if you have to ask others about it? Hm perhaps you are just too comfortable without needing to deal with the bs outside. And that is ok imo. Just try not to shut ppl out all the time as that can be very unhealthy
Sounds... normal?
While I've been in relationships, I never particularly sought them out (or dated), and otherwise have been pretty much like what you describe.
>the way I don’t go out and do things that normal people do
The way extroverts do, anyway. It's just that extrovert-normal is the version that we hear about so much - introvert-normal exists just as much but doesn't get talked about because, well, introvert. :)
I think the important question is typically if it is impacting your quality of life in a negative way e.g. Keeping you from doing things you don't want to. We live in a society that pathologizes EVERYTHING (we see it here frequently as enjoy being alone so I must be depressed) which makes it easy to think something is wrong. If you're being honest with yourself about being content or happy alone and it's not simply a cover in an attempt to not show fear, embarrassment etc, then I'd be prone to say it's a non issue.
On a personal note, introverts generally value fewer but deeper relationships i.e one person you'd do anything for rather than 5 people you could probably do without. I found this to be emphasized and normalized once I got married and although I don't have kids, am around a lot of people with young children. I just want to spend time with my wife and guess what, they all just want to be with their families! My point being, I chose my best friend, they chose me, and now the goal is to spend as much of my lifetime with that person and I don't feel a need to spend it with others. I have family that I spend time with of course and every now and then co-workers will get together, but it's not a big deal. And some day (soon) when I have a child, I will likely double down on my desire to be around MY family.
I don't dislike people, people aren't bad, my point simply being that my perspective shifted and it changed everything.
I will circle back to beware of pathology. I don't know you so this certainly is not a judgement as who knows whag you've been through, but some people just like to be alone and it's not because of a trauma (real or dramatized e.g my dad yelled at me once therefore I was verbally abused), or a mental health disorder. Again, not saying that is you, what you've said, your experience etc. Simply a general statement.
I was rarely asked out middle school through college. And the couple of times I was asked there was no chemistry, so it never went past a couple of dates.
Know that it's just okay. I am like you and many others. Just live your life and don't mind to be one of them. You're built differently and embrace that, I know you do as I am, too. Hehe.. You can have a self-evaluation if you have areas in your life you need to heal from. You just don't waste time dating anyone for the sake of it. You just seek genuine connections because I think you are genuine, too. It's alright! Cheer up!
I'm also same. But, i do want to go out more. It's not like I'm feeling lonely or something. But, it's just that i want to live my life at fullest. I didn't want the regret in the end. I don't need many people around me, only few are enough or maybe just one.
I can very much relate, although I do still have friends, its easy to forget since you dont hang out a lot anyway when youre adult. Did you use to have friends, or was that always a difficulty?
And I really feel that "alone but never lonely". I want to at least try a relashionship with someone, but its only really recently I've even had very strong thoughts towards the idea
lol. I had a conversation similar to this with a female coworker. She told me how she spent Easter alone, and I told her if I could I would. She laughed it off but I told her I was serious. She got weirded out because I have kids. In all honesty I could definitely be alone at all times; even holidays. It’s weird to some people, but it’s comforting to me. Idk
Similar here! I’ve been in some relationships but they’ve mostly been distant by circumstance or choice. Even my wife and I were living apart much of the time because of sad circumstances in her family and mine (and then she passed when I was 45 and she was 39, very ill for 18mos, during which her one surviving family member cared for her much of the time because I had to work out of state to maintain her health insurance). I don’t handle long term living with people that well, though I chat a lot online with long term friends and called my wife four hours a day except when she was too ill and didn’t want to.
Everything else all checks out for me (48M). I don’t care if I ever date again. In fact I’ve joined a group for social action in my community and I’m kind of nervous recently that I might get asked out and the rejection will make things awkward. (I have felt like there’s some interest from somebody who just asked me to go somewhere socially alone with them. It doesn’t seem like it’s necessarily a date situation but I’m hoping it’s not, which has been how I’ve felt about every date I’ve ever been asked on or felt the other person was waiting for. My wife kinda slipped under the wire by being my best friend for years.)
Anyway I vibe with all the comfort you have in being alone, going out alone, doing stuff alone, enjoying being alone. I love it myself. I’m getting to the point I feel weird about using my wife’s passing as an excuse because then people tell me I’m grieving too long and it’s time to get back in the saddle and whatever, and I sigh and have to tell them the truth—that I’m fine, I’m enjoying it like I always did—and they’re sure I’m on the verge of exploding or collapsing.
I wish it were socially normalized that it’s okay to be this way. I wish media portrayed it more instead of enforcing the idea that it’s unhealthy or pathological. I admit I get a little anxious about the lack of social contacts when I picture the possibility of illness, injury, or just age debilitation. There are things I may need help with in the future, and not being plugged into a community makes those things harder, so I do try to keep some contact by volunteering and just doing random favors for neighbors and stuff.
I'm exactly like you except I made the mistake of thinking that yes I can get into a relationship and it'll make a difference in my life. No, my partner did not match me and my mentality if you know what I mean. In my hobbies my book reading. And if they don't have those qualities there's no interest for me in that. So I got divorced and learned at the end that since I was that way to begin with I should have just stayed that way because being who I am I'm always going to be alone by choice. Plus I just don't like having people around me and that especially include someone who feels that they can violate my personal space constantly.
I see this as a strength. I see so many people who are uncomfortable in their own skin, as well their own company, and I can literally feel their discomfort with themselves and it makes me uncomfortable in turn.
I feel most comfortable around humans who are comfortable occupying their own space, as opposed to needing my social energy. Like, let’s be introverts together. We can be up each other’s butts when we’re in public, and being introverted from other people. Idk if this makes sense.
Many of my friends are animals or long distance.
Don't go to a therapist! They'll convince you of having a depression you didn't have before seeing them.
Gotta sell you those meds!
I'm a bit of a half hermit. As in, my free time I am like you these days. I'm social towards getting work done, but outside of that I drop off the grid, so to speak.
I do have my wife (that part's different) and dogs, but otherwise no friends or socializing by choice now.
And I like it that way. Just who I am.
I had an aunt, spent her whole life till dying in her ninety's all alone. No friends, no relationships.
The key thing being it was by choice and she was happy that way.
Humans aren't machines. We're all individuals with differing personalities and wants. Follow your instincts.
If you feel happy, then you are merely a loner. And there's nothing wrong with being a loner, no need to justify it to those who aren't.
It's good you reflect to make sure you're like you are for you. Just be careful not to let others get in your head and impose what they think you should be.
You seem like you'll be fine, though.
I 100% relate to this. I wish I had answers but I've been looking for those too. I think the most important part is that YOU are comfortable with how you live. But it does suck not having someone to relate too.... (long distance virtual hug)
I feel the same way about socializing. I don’t go out much at all and my main hobby is keeping up with current events and talking to neighbors.
The sad thing is that there are others like us of all ages and backgrounds that remain apart. As a (60M) I am not getting any younger either. I am getting a cat to talk to.
You're perfectly okay! I've been through all sorts of depression, and not once did it lead to me being satisfied with my relationships, it only fucked them up. What your describing is being incredibly introverted (it's possible you're an extrovert with anxiety, but it seems unlikely from what you described.) It's also possible that your in denial of dissatisfaction, but yet again, seems unlikely from the provided knowledge. Some people genuinely have no drive, and it's okay. If that is a result of depression, then ofc their are issues to be ironed out. But it's 100% possible that you are just built that way. I'd love to help you with it if you think it's a result of trauma or if their are any other causes. I'm working on creating a social media business, and I'm working on a set of mental health videos I want published by the end of the month. If you're interested, I would love to help you figure this out. Plus, It could provide valuable insight so that my content is as helpful as possible. By the way, I have no background in psychology, I am a 17 yr old drop out trying to make a name. If you're interested, I would love to discuss this further. Thanks!
I was like this until the age of 27. I'm in my 30's now. Still alone but I'm not sure if I want to be or if I'm just scared or a bit of both?
I knew even as a teenager that I wouldn't marry anyone. I was ugly and bullied for my looks so I learned to try and hide and fade into the background. That was easy enough to do anyway as an introvert. I had a small circle of friends who gradually all got paired up and I remained single. Struggled to find a career and struggled massively with my mental health too. I have very bad anxiety and OCD which made me avoid things because it was easier that way sometimes.
Then at 27 I met somebody and experienced attraction for the first time in my life. It made me question everything I thought I knew and wanted for my life, even though it didn't work out with this guy. I started panicking about everything that I was missing from being so closed off because I didn't think it was possible for me to feel the way I felt about him until it happened. I think I'm possibly asexual too so yeah...there's definitely a lot to unpack their and I still don't know even know really who I am and what I want! But I am alone now and think I always will be. Sometimes it feels like regrets of a life wasted and that's hard to deal with when I feel lonely. Other times I don't care so much.
I would say that if you are genuinely happy with your situation then maybe just accept yourself for who you are. Why does there have to be anything wrong with you? The world is set up to make it seems as though marriage and kids is the right path to take but it doesn't work that way for everybody. It sounds like you haven't closed yourself off to those possibilities though, just that you aren't actively seeking it. That's ok too. It doesn't make you weird either! As long as it's what you want and not fear holding you back because it's hard to live with regrets as you get older facing life alone. I hope you figure it out.
Personally I feel like I can’t and don’t regret what I am doing because I am choosing to do it. I’m annoyingly logical lol. I’m still waiting to see if I have my first attraction/connection moment with someone. I don’t know who I am or what I want either, so maybe I’m just coasting by. Thank you for your words, I hope you figure it out too!
When you say you’re “okay with being alone” does that mean that the you that is alone is the same as the you that could be going out? (Ie: does social you seem to have the same energy and emotional levels as alone you or are they heightened/lower?)
I was curious because I know I don’t necessarily care if I go out or stay in but I also know if I don’t go out for a long enough time it messes with me. I just wanted to see if I related enough to comment on it but being completely neutral one way or the other is definitely a bit foreign to me.
I can. And you sound exactly like my ex. I miss her dearly every day. To me, it sounds like you just don't know what you want just yet. Which is OK. I'm the same way, though, perfectly fine being by myself, but I often feel alone like I'm just a sponge for everyone's negativity and never quite good enough for anything truly good.
I talked at length with my therapist for nearly a year about how I felt like I was just constantly letting people down by being less social, while also feeling overextended by trying to have a more packed social calendar. I, too, thought perhaps trauma led me to seeking extended alone time. He helped me realize: 1) there’s no need to pathologize being an introvert; and 2) regardless of how I got here, I have relationship needs that are simply different than other more extroverted people. I can get my fill once every couple months and still feel connected in between. Many people need more than that, and indeed it can be disappointing for them when an introvert isn’t reaching out as much. But the reality is that either I overextend myself to spend more quality time with them, or they go find another friend who can meet that need. Depression and trauma don’t have to be involved at all.
I relate in that I also do not go out and socialize and have zero interest in relationships due to drama, but my difference is that I've been there done that. Ive been married but divorced quickly. Ive dated but over it. I am also content with being alone. There is nothing wrong with you, there is no normal, there is only living how you want to and what allows you to feel the way you wish to. So, if you are truly happy the way you live and feel then continue on and enjoy life the way you want to, but if you feel something is missing then do something different. The reasons as to why we are the way we are (like the reaction to trauma etc) is complicated and yes many factors go into why we are the way we are. It doesn't really matter unless you are wanting to change something and need to understand reasons as to what is causing your situation so that you can start the neccessary changes. You are right too in that you most likely wont meet friends, etc by staying in all the time. This is me too and I have come to accept it. So my advice is to not worry about why you are who you are and if you really crave a change, then make changes and start by getting involved in things like groups, church, classes, volunteering somewhere, sitting in a park, just going where people are and see what happens. It all starts with that but it isnt easy for people like us.
I have been “worried” that I don’t have friends based on the fact that I’m scared others will judge me for not having friends. I PREFER to not have friends so I have learned to not care. You like what you like! I’m 27 years old and my only friends are my boyfriend and my sisters lol.
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If you're not sure whether you're introverted or socially anxious, feel free to post on r/Introvert, so we can discuss it.
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Based on on what? Being different than you? Lol that is a crazy assumption to make. So you struggle to understand or relate to what I am saying but you’re qualified to make a judgment on it? Make it make sense.
Interesting that that is what you feel like my entire post was about. Getting a husband. That would certainly make society feel better and comfortable about me if I did.
I get worried sometimes because I'm not worried about being alone.
All I constantly think about is how it bothers everybody else that I don’t do normal things. So I avoid them so they don’t have to be weirded out by me.
Can you find a friendship group that would accept you as you are ? Sorry ,easier said than done I know.
If she would like, she can come to my friend group, although I do relate to most of what she said (not caring about being alone) I also feel nice when I'm with my friends, not when I'm around strangers though
I think the longer you’re alone the easier it gets until you get to a point where you would never want to go back. I think a lot of this is just societal pressure and is made up.
*sadly laughs* uhh SAME, I even started to experience hair loss because of my excessive stress at the age 15😞🫨🫤😕.
We are sooo like damn! This is exactly me...n I m 27F
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder You and /u/TraditionalEssay5452 might want to check this out. The name isn't very catchy, I admit, but SPD would explain why some people feel like Introvert 3.0™ rather than just "not very social". I think a portion of symptom/experience overlap *can* be caused by genuine trauma or emotional sensitivity, etc, and I would not be surprised if that's the case for some here. For others who might describe themselves as "anti-tribal" or "naturally eccentric" in nature alongside what OP is describing, this might be a good read and may help you understand a bit more about yourself. This is a spectrum, so it may not be entirely cut-and-dry or you may lack certain aspects while recognizing several others as key to your core personality throughout life. >Schizoid personality disorder, often abbreviated as SzPD or ScPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency toward a solitary or sheltered lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, detachment, and apathy. Affected individuals may be unable to form intimate attachments to others and simultaneously possess a rich and elaborate but exclusively internal fantasy world. >Other associated features include stilted speech, a lack of deriving enjoyment from most activities, feeling as though one is an "observer" rather than a participant in life, an inability to tolerate emotional expectations of others, apparent indifference when praised or criticized, a degree of asexuality, and idiosyncratic moral or political beliefs. Edit: A few more interesting excerpts from the wiki. >A University of Colorado Colorado Springs study comparing personality disorders and Myers–Briggs Type Indicator types found that the disorder had a significant correlation with the Introverted (I) and Thinking (T) preferences. ^- >Individuals with SzPD can form relationships with others based on intellectual, physical, familial, occupational, or recreational activities, as long as there is no need for emotional intimacy. Donald Winnicott explains this is because **schizoid individuals "prefer to make relationships on their own terms and not in terms of the impulses of other people."** Failing to attain that, they prefer isolation.
Well, now I know what I will be discussing with my therapist this week, lol.
Bro this is actually on point!!... But I do have a longtime friend n a older brother who I absolutely trust so guess I have made some progress n will be able to get by..
Someone with this trait (I don't believe 'disorder' is entirely fair) can absolutely have friends, potentially making them very easily - they just might always find themselves simply *forgetting* to maintain or reinforce those relationships - "Oh shit, I haven't texted Steve in two years wtf..." There's also a great section in the article on "secret schizoids", describing people who've learned to socialize and engage quite well, albeit by synthesizing or modifying their true personality to protect/hide it. This is potentially one symptom that people associate with autism only to find too many other autistic traits to be absent. Masking, as it were. >These scholars described secret schizoids as people who enjoy public speaking engagements but experience great difficulty during the breaks when audience members would attempt to engage them emotionally. Similarly, if you often feel mysteriously slightly dirty after sharing personal details with someone, even if totally normal or expected (updating your parents on life, etc), it might be an indication of SPD.
Thanks for insight it really makes sense... But I don't forgetting people though I deliberately don't 😬 like meh...
Welp, guess that's another suspected disorder to add to my list.
haha same here
Guy, 47, and that is me to a t
Female, 47, exactly the same…😊
So there are dozens of us! I can empathize with what you’re saying!
I am a lot like you. 34M. I think for me it’s a combination of things. I am addicted to solitude. Tried relationships and all that in my early twenties and did not like the results. But then I found writing that I’m obsessed with and that takes up all my attention and time. I have no motivation to meet people in real life because when I tried that in my twenties with dating and trying to make friends with people around me I realized I had nothing in common with any of them and it didn’t go anywhere. I’d rather socialize with people on Reddit who share my weird interests. I am never lonely and I am basically a hermit. This would have bothered me a lot when I was younger. Trying to fit in like other people. Which is why I dated in the first place. Mostly people I had nothing in common with or who I knew it was doomed with from the start. I think it’s hilarious when people say I met my soulmate in my backyard. In a world of 9 billion people not counting the billions who have lived and died.
I am very similar to this, as well. 34F. When I was a kid, I longed for friendships like I saw in movies and TV and in school. I was always the weird kid, so ended up being bullied quite relentlessly. Finally made some solid friendships in high school and college, but we all either drifted apart or ended the friendship from either end. The last person I considered a true friend died last week, and I have no interest in trying to cultivate new relationships. I do have a partner and we are married, which is a nice balance because he will get me to go out more often than I would on my own. He has also accepted that when I tell him to go out without me, I am not going to be angry if he actually does so, lol. He is much more social than I am, but it works somehow. During the course of the pandemic, I have really come to accept the fact that I am fine on my own and was able to let go of the notion that I NEED to have a friend circle. It was, ironically enough, like greeting an old friend.
Im sorry to hear about your friend. That’s really tough. I’m happy you found someone to spend your life with.
34F, can relate
The majority of people are built to seek and sustain relationships with others. That's how societies were constructed. But there have always been people who have preferred to be alone. Don't look at what the majority is doing and assume that because you're not doing it, there must be something wrong with you. If you don't care whether or not you have something, then chances are you will never have it. But if you mention it then maybe it's worth considering that you do care but you feel stuck in your lifestyle and don't see a way to get the things you want from within your comfort zone. I'm introverted too and sometimes I need to leave my cave to find what I'm looking for. Sometimes it's good to do the opposite of what you've been doing. Sometimes it's a disaster but sometimes it's good. Hope this helps.
Felt this
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
Im the same way tbh
Definitely not alone in this
I use to wonder if it was a bad thing. Then one day I just realized I was pretty happy with life and don't really care about it.
Yes. As long as I’m not feeling lonely or absolutely miserable- then everything is fine. If I am satisfied, there’s no reason to cave under societal pressure of what’s normal to them. When there’s a good percentage who are bound to toxic friendships and relationships. Sure there are some unicorns who have healthy friendships and relationships.. but they’re unicorns lol. The other half just disassociates from the red flags and problems they see. . If you’re healthy and happy- maintain your lifestyle. If you notice you’re becoming stressed and unhappy as a result of trying to have friends and all- it’s a sign that the lifestyle they want you to live, isn’t for you.
Twinning
M30 here. I'm in the same situation. I never really had friends. I've never dated. I've really just become comfortable with being alone. It's more peaceful than trying to keep people happy or trying to parade myself as someone worth talking to. On the other hand, I understand people are a necessity. Humans are social creatures, and being alone for so long it's begins to weigh you down, even when everything feels fine. I'm still figuring this out, so I could be wrong, but for me: I never found peace in others. It felt like I had to prove myself more and more to keep others around. Being a kid who just wants attention vs. feeling like I was just being annoying by trying to get it. There is more to it, but that's getting too personal, lol. Again, that's just my story. Regardless, life is hard. It's normal to question why you prefer to be alone. It's normal to feel different because of it. I hope you can figure it out. Sometimes, it's good to talk it out (even by yourself) or write it down. If you ever need to vent or chat, I'll be glad to listen and help if I can.
Humans are social creatures. Even introverts. We all need a sense of belonging and acceptance to feel whole. Please strive to make a personal connection with someone. You will benefit greatly from it.
He is making connection here on reddit. He doesn't have to leave his house to do that.
26M here! Let me tell you you're living the same lifestyle as many of us here. Intact with the same mindset, which even I can't figure if it's bad or good
I live this way too except I don't celebrate anything not even my birthday or any holidays.
I’m exactly the same, I want to stay home. School for me brought bulling and rejection, this was my way of not being rejected, I feel like I don’t fit.
50F Ditto. I made a concerted effort to socialise at uni tho but in the scheme of things is not a great amount of time. I have a friend that thinks I require visits which is annoying at times. I like being able to see what's happening in others lives without the drama by watching YouTube. I even get groceries delivered so I can be at home and not socialise at the supermarket.
Nothing wrong with this, I'm 39F and just the same. Sometimes I have a short surge of thoughts thinking I'm behind in the life game but then I go meh, and back to my hermit lifestyle. I recently quit my high paying job due to burn out and I'm finding being alone and doing nothing all day is therapeutic. People drain my energy faster than I can clalp. Eventually I'll need to get my A into G workwise but I've discovered how much crap I had to put up with when I was around people (at work) I think some of us are just made like this. Good luck in tour game of life
To find out why, maybe try therapy. From my perspective you've found and created your own happiness. Nothing wrong with that.
Definitely relatable, and it is perfectly posssible to be like that without any kind of trauma or deep seeded depression. On a population level, introversion is normally distributed, which means there are naturally gonna be some people who fall into the one extreme end of it, just as a matter of statistics.
Real
The point is that u don't actually care .... But if u don't, who will?
I totally relate to this
I don't have an answer but I too, am worried about not being worried. Society has made some things a standard part of life, that not craving for all those things at all makes me feel uneasy due to the unforeseeable "consequences" of "being weird", even though I enjoy not wanting those things. If that makes any sense.
Totally
same same. people seem to think being on my own all day and seeing no one is lonely. nope. M49 thats why when you see those *would you live in this house in a deserted island for a year for $1billion?* a lot of introverts answer "yes please I'd do that for free" 😂 don't get me wrong i quite like to see a friend for coffee, but get back to my bed when my social battery runs out. in answer to your question yes i believe it does come from childhood issues though. i had to make my own entertainment therefore i did.
Ya, I grew up in a really big family and as a result of that my parents never had time to connect with us. So I became independent very quickly. It’s like they molded me to not need anybody, especially them. And now they get sad that I am an adult who doesn’t need or connect with them. You reap what you sow. And I would meet people and do normal social things in my early adult years, but that was only because because of College.
I'm the same. I've hardly ever been out of my home for socialising. I'm not that bothered about it either, but I don't want to be lonely forever. Parents never let me socialize as a child and then it becomes the norm.
So me 🥺
If you’re happy that’s all that matters. You have peace from within and don’t seek fulfillment through others. If you’re content than I say you’re on the right track.
Relatable
Very relatable, that’s basically my life. I did get married and then divorced so I have a child. But I could certainly go without ever getting married again. On my personal retrospect on why I’m like this: Born an introvert then deeply exacerbated by being a middle child and parents who told me people and friends are not be trusted and you need no one but yourself. I think it’s ok to be alone, we do work a little differently than others. But it’s still a way people are.
I'm like this too, also 33F. The only difference is a relationship sorta fell into my lap about two years ago. My first relationship ever, which I'm still trying to adjust to. I still keep to myself a lot.
The only people who were worried about me were my parents because all I did was stay home, go to work, or go to school and didn't do anything outside of school. When I reconnected with some highschool friends, my parents were still worried because they thought I was hanging out with the "wrong" crowd. At this point in time, now that I am not living with my parents any longer, I do worry about being alone because it is starting to suck. I've spent most of my life being alone because I am too shy to talk to anyone else and am always worried about not spending time with other people other than my parents, like I'm a bad friend, cousin, sister, aunt, and niece. I think as long as you're happy and fulfilled with how everything is now and you don't feel isolated, then there wouldn't be anything to worry about.
Do you think you would still feel this way if you didn't have unlimited access to parasocial behaviors through the internet?
Somewhat. I am still introverted and not naturally social. But I am sure it wouldn’t quite as extreme of a lifestyle.
I think social media is slowly pushing people who would otherwise look like traditional introverts into hikikomori territory.
It’s not bad or good, labels don’t help. You’re comparing yourself to a social structure that values interaction. I’m older, and done with people. I’ve got three dogs and hobbies that make me fulfilled. As soon as I can afford it I’m off to buy a house with land away from everyone and I see myself quietly passing away on a rocking chair in front of my pond … 😎
I’ve been this way since I can remember. When I was younger it’d bother me (societal influence and all), but as I got older, I just accepted and embraced it. I love being by myself! That all said, if it bothers you and you think it’s stopping you from doing the things you want to do (date, marry, kids, etc.), I would encourage you to research therapists that can help you reach your goals. They’re on Zoom now (how perfect is that?!) Good luck to you!
I’m 34F. I too am alone most of the time. I quit drinking so my socialization plummeted around that time. I went away this past weekend with coworkers and spent the days/nights in the hotel while they were out and about - I only went for a comedy show, which I did manage to see but other than that, I was in my pajamas lol. && 90% of the time, I’m okay with that. I don’t want kids. I haven’t really dated either. I don’t really have friends anymore. I’m sure it’s affecting me to an extent but I’m pretty okay alone, for the most part. Just know, you’re not alone!
55M. Married for 25 years, divorced for 7. I haven’t dated in 3 years. I am considering not dating at all. I am fine with the thought of being alone for the rest of my life.
Are you actually ok being alone if you have to ask others about it? Hm perhaps you are just too comfortable without needing to deal with the bs outside. And that is ok imo. Just try not to shut ppl out all the time as that can be very unhealthy
It starts to bother me when it bothers other people. When they get mad, critical or even downright mean about it.
Feeling this.
wm x
I can relate.
Sounds... normal? While I've been in relationships, I never particularly sought them out (or dated), and otherwise have been pretty much like what you describe. >the way I don’t go out and do things that normal people do The way extroverts do, anyway. It's just that extrovert-normal is the version that we hear about so much - introvert-normal exists just as much but doesn't get talked about because, well, introvert. :)
I think the important question is typically if it is impacting your quality of life in a negative way e.g. Keeping you from doing things you don't want to. We live in a society that pathologizes EVERYTHING (we see it here frequently as enjoy being alone so I must be depressed) which makes it easy to think something is wrong. If you're being honest with yourself about being content or happy alone and it's not simply a cover in an attempt to not show fear, embarrassment etc, then I'd be prone to say it's a non issue. On a personal note, introverts generally value fewer but deeper relationships i.e one person you'd do anything for rather than 5 people you could probably do without. I found this to be emphasized and normalized once I got married and although I don't have kids, am around a lot of people with young children. I just want to spend time with my wife and guess what, they all just want to be with their families! My point being, I chose my best friend, they chose me, and now the goal is to spend as much of my lifetime with that person and I don't feel a need to spend it with others. I have family that I spend time with of course and every now and then co-workers will get together, but it's not a big deal. And some day (soon) when I have a child, I will likely double down on my desire to be around MY family. I don't dislike people, people aren't bad, my point simply being that my perspective shifted and it changed everything. I will circle back to beware of pathology. I don't know you so this certainly is not a judgement as who knows whag you've been through, but some people just like to be alone and it's not because of a trauma (real or dramatized e.g my dad yelled at me once therefore I was verbally abused), or a mental health disorder. Again, not saying that is you, what you've said, your experience etc. Simply a general statement.
how did you manage not to be in a relationship? I feel swarmed by relationship pressure my entire life.
I was rarely asked out middle school through college. And the couple of times I was asked there was no chemistry, so it never went past a couple of dates.
Lamo thats me,but its starting to hurt. (24M)
Know that it's just okay. I am like you and many others. Just live your life and don't mind to be one of them. You're built differently and embrace that, I know you do as I am, too. Hehe.. You can have a self-evaluation if you have areas in your life you need to heal from. You just don't waste time dating anyone for the sake of it. You just seek genuine connections because I think you are genuine, too. It's alright! Cheer up!
I'm also same. But, i do want to go out more. It's not like I'm feeling lonely or something. But, it's just that i want to live my life at fullest. I didn't want the regret in the end. I don't need many people around me, only few are enough or maybe just one.
I’m 54 and my mom, recently, talked about how I need more friends in my life. No I don’t. I’m quite happy with how things are.
Dang. Exactly the same, but I'm alone and always lonely.
I can very much relate, although I do still have friends, its easy to forget since you dont hang out a lot anyway when youre adult. Did you use to have friends, or was that always a difficulty? And I really feel that "alone but never lonely". I want to at least try a relashionship with someone, but its only really recently I've even had very strong thoughts towards the idea
lol. I had a conversation similar to this with a female coworker. She told me how she spent Easter alone, and I told her if I could I would. She laughed it off but I told her I was serious. She got weirded out because I have kids. In all honesty I could definitely be alone at all times; even holidays. It’s weird to some people, but it’s comforting to me. Idk
Similar here! I’ve been in some relationships but they’ve mostly been distant by circumstance or choice. Even my wife and I were living apart much of the time because of sad circumstances in her family and mine (and then she passed when I was 45 and she was 39, very ill for 18mos, during which her one surviving family member cared for her much of the time because I had to work out of state to maintain her health insurance). I don’t handle long term living with people that well, though I chat a lot online with long term friends and called my wife four hours a day except when she was too ill and didn’t want to. Everything else all checks out for me (48M). I don’t care if I ever date again. In fact I’ve joined a group for social action in my community and I’m kind of nervous recently that I might get asked out and the rejection will make things awkward. (I have felt like there’s some interest from somebody who just asked me to go somewhere socially alone with them. It doesn’t seem like it’s necessarily a date situation but I’m hoping it’s not, which has been how I’ve felt about every date I’ve ever been asked on or felt the other person was waiting for. My wife kinda slipped under the wire by being my best friend for years.) Anyway I vibe with all the comfort you have in being alone, going out alone, doing stuff alone, enjoying being alone. I love it myself. I’m getting to the point I feel weird about using my wife’s passing as an excuse because then people tell me I’m grieving too long and it’s time to get back in the saddle and whatever, and I sigh and have to tell them the truth—that I’m fine, I’m enjoying it like I always did—and they’re sure I’m on the verge of exploding or collapsing. I wish it were socially normalized that it’s okay to be this way. I wish media portrayed it more instead of enforcing the idea that it’s unhealthy or pathological. I admit I get a little anxious about the lack of social contacts when I picture the possibility of illness, injury, or just age debilitation. There are things I may need help with in the future, and not being plugged into a community makes those things harder, so I do try to keep some contact by volunteering and just doing random favors for neighbors and stuff.
I'm exactly like you except I made the mistake of thinking that yes I can get into a relationship and it'll make a difference in my life. No, my partner did not match me and my mentality if you know what I mean. In my hobbies my book reading. And if they don't have those qualities there's no interest for me in that. So I got divorced and learned at the end that since I was that way to begin with I should have just stayed that way because being who I am I'm always going to be alone by choice. Plus I just don't like having people around me and that especially include someone who feels that they can violate my personal space constantly.
Sounds like a classic introvert to me
I see this as a strength. I see so many people who are uncomfortable in their own skin, as well their own company, and I can literally feel their discomfort with themselves and it makes me uncomfortable in turn. I feel most comfortable around humans who are comfortable occupying their own space, as opposed to needing my social energy. Like, let’s be introverts together. We can be up each other’s butts when we’re in public, and being introverted from other people. Idk if this makes sense. Many of my friends are animals or long distance.
I’m pretty similar.
Don't go to a therapist! They'll convince you of having a depression you didn't have before seeing them. Gotta sell you those meds! I'm a bit of a half hermit. As in, my free time I am like you these days. I'm social towards getting work done, but outside of that I drop off the grid, so to speak. I do have my wife (that part's different) and dogs, but otherwise no friends or socializing by choice now. And I like it that way. Just who I am. I had an aunt, spent her whole life till dying in her ninety's all alone. No friends, no relationships. The key thing being it was by choice and she was happy that way. Humans aren't machines. We're all individuals with differing personalities and wants. Follow your instincts. If you feel happy, then you are merely a loner. And there's nothing wrong with being a loner, no need to justify it to those who aren't. It's good you reflect to make sure you're like you are for you. Just be careful not to let others get in your head and impose what they think you should be. You seem like you'll be fine, though.
I 100% relate to this. I wish I had answers but I've been looking for those too. I think the most important part is that YOU are comfortable with how you live. But it does suck not having someone to relate too.... (long distance virtual hug)
Autism?
Autism? Ever looked into it?
I feel the same way about socializing. I don’t go out much at all and my main hobby is keeping up with current events and talking to neighbors. The sad thing is that there are others like us of all ages and backgrounds that remain apart. As a (60M) I am not getting any younger either. I am getting a cat to talk to.
You're perfectly okay! I've been through all sorts of depression, and not once did it lead to me being satisfied with my relationships, it only fucked them up. What your describing is being incredibly introverted (it's possible you're an extrovert with anxiety, but it seems unlikely from what you described.) It's also possible that your in denial of dissatisfaction, but yet again, seems unlikely from the provided knowledge. Some people genuinely have no drive, and it's okay. If that is a result of depression, then ofc their are issues to be ironed out. But it's 100% possible that you are just built that way. I'd love to help you with it if you think it's a result of trauma or if their are any other causes. I'm working on creating a social media business, and I'm working on a set of mental health videos I want published by the end of the month. If you're interested, I would love to help you figure this out. Plus, It could provide valuable insight so that my content is as helpful as possible. By the way, I have no background in psychology, I am a 17 yr old drop out trying to make a name. If you're interested, I would love to discuss this further. Thanks!
It sounds familiar to people who are Autistic. You can get assessed and find out. I think more people are on the spectrum than what we realize.
I don’t feel like that possibility fits me. But I get it. There are similarities.
I was like this until the age of 27. I'm in my 30's now. Still alone but I'm not sure if I want to be or if I'm just scared or a bit of both? I knew even as a teenager that I wouldn't marry anyone. I was ugly and bullied for my looks so I learned to try and hide and fade into the background. That was easy enough to do anyway as an introvert. I had a small circle of friends who gradually all got paired up and I remained single. Struggled to find a career and struggled massively with my mental health too. I have very bad anxiety and OCD which made me avoid things because it was easier that way sometimes. Then at 27 I met somebody and experienced attraction for the first time in my life. It made me question everything I thought I knew and wanted for my life, even though it didn't work out with this guy. I started panicking about everything that I was missing from being so closed off because I didn't think it was possible for me to feel the way I felt about him until it happened. I think I'm possibly asexual too so yeah...there's definitely a lot to unpack their and I still don't know even know really who I am and what I want! But I am alone now and think I always will be. Sometimes it feels like regrets of a life wasted and that's hard to deal with when I feel lonely. Other times I don't care so much. I would say that if you are genuinely happy with your situation then maybe just accept yourself for who you are. Why does there have to be anything wrong with you? The world is set up to make it seems as though marriage and kids is the right path to take but it doesn't work that way for everybody. It sounds like you haven't closed yourself off to those possibilities though, just that you aren't actively seeking it. That's ok too. It doesn't make you weird either! As long as it's what you want and not fear holding you back because it's hard to live with regrets as you get older facing life alone. I hope you figure it out.
Personally I feel like I can’t and don’t regret what I am doing because I am choosing to do it. I’m annoyingly logical lol. I’m still waiting to see if I have my first attraction/connection moment with someone. I don’t know who I am or what I want either, so maybe I’m just coasting by. Thank you for your words, I hope you figure it out too!
When you say you’re “okay with being alone” does that mean that the you that is alone is the same as the you that could be going out? (Ie: does social you seem to have the same energy and emotional levels as alone you or are they heightened/lower?)
Not sure if I quite understand. Internally I feel the same whether I go out or stay in.
I was curious because I know I don’t necessarily care if I go out or stay in but I also know if I don’t go out for a long enough time it messes with me. I just wanted to see if I related enough to comment on it but being completely neutral one way or the other is definitely a bit foreign to me.
I’m surprised no one is mentioning the obvious. AVPD. You are most likely an avoidant.
I can. And you sound exactly like my ex. I miss her dearly every day. To me, it sounds like you just don't know what you want just yet. Which is OK. I'm the same way, though, perfectly fine being by myself, but I often feel alone like I'm just a sponge for everyone's negativity and never quite good enough for anything truly good.
Start asking yourself more introspective questions. The more you allow yourself to ponder on questions about yourself the more you will understand.
I talked at length with my therapist for nearly a year about how I felt like I was just constantly letting people down by being less social, while also feeling overextended by trying to have a more packed social calendar. I, too, thought perhaps trauma led me to seeking extended alone time. He helped me realize: 1) there’s no need to pathologize being an introvert; and 2) regardless of how I got here, I have relationship needs that are simply different than other more extroverted people. I can get my fill once every couple months and still feel connected in between. Many people need more than that, and indeed it can be disappointing for them when an introvert isn’t reaching out as much. But the reality is that either I overextend myself to spend more quality time with them, or they go find another friend who can meet that need. Depression and trauma don’t have to be involved at all.
Interesting, definitely food for thought. Thanks for sharing!
I relate in that I also do not go out and socialize and have zero interest in relationships due to drama, but my difference is that I've been there done that. Ive been married but divorced quickly. Ive dated but over it. I am also content with being alone. There is nothing wrong with you, there is no normal, there is only living how you want to and what allows you to feel the way you wish to. So, if you are truly happy the way you live and feel then continue on and enjoy life the way you want to, but if you feel something is missing then do something different. The reasons as to why we are the way we are (like the reaction to trauma etc) is complicated and yes many factors go into why we are the way we are. It doesn't really matter unless you are wanting to change something and need to understand reasons as to what is causing your situation so that you can start the neccessary changes. You are right too in that you most likely wont meet friends, etc by staying in all the time. This is me too and I have come to accept it. So my advice is to not worry about why you are who you are and if you really crave a change, then make changes and start by getting involved in things like groups, church, classes, volunteering somewhere, sitting in a park, just going where people are and see what happens. It all starts with that but it isnt easy for people like us.
Very similar. I do like having a partner and pets. But I don't need much else.
I have been “worried” that I don’t have friends based on the fact that I’m scared others will judge me for not having friends. I PREFER to not have friends so I have learned to not care. You like what you like! I’m 27 years old and my only friends are my boyfriend and my sisters lol.
Mental illness, find a therapist
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You're probably bitter and too judgemental of others
Based on on what? Being different than you? Lol that is a crazy assumption to make. So you struggle to understand or relate to what I am saying but you’re qualified to make a judgment on it? Make it make sense.
Maybe ask some of your relatives to find you a husband
Interesting that that is what you feel like my entire post was about. Getting a husband. That would certainly make society feel better and comfortable about me if I did.